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This week down at the bar we go back to the 80s with a film from the 2013s and wonder when exactly it was appropriate! Andy shares his opinion before we've even had time to settle on a drink and things aren't looking good. Thankfully the pod isn't as long as the film or we'd never make it through!

We chat about Leonardo Di Caprio's performance and where it ranks in his list, Martin Scorcese's approach to endings and somehow why Jonah Hill steals the whole film. What would need to change to make this film today? Probably everything but we still have to watch it and compare it to an even longer film in the comparison to season 1! After over 6 hours of film watching, will Andy need a strong drink at the bar?

Join us as we talk through #57 on Kev's list, the Wolf of Wall Street.

Check out the update website for the show at ⁠⁠⁠https://longplay.video/⁠⁠⁠

IMDB - www.imdb.com/title/tt0993846/

Drinks bought by OutOut - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://outoutsharedmemories.app/⁠

This week on Long Play Video we're revisiting Paul W.S. Anderson's traumatizing space-horror cult classic, Event Horizon so obviously have invited back our Michael Douglas specialist Kate! Is it Alien meets The Shining in space, an unofficial prequel to The Matrix featuring a young Laurence Fishburne or just a 90-minute cautionary tale about a 49-year-old Sam Neill ripping his own eyes out?

Drinks at the bar range from cozy and comfortable to gross and repellent as we discuss why this 90s sci-fi nightmare holds up, what went missing on the cutting room floor and why admitting to being bad at Latin is important as your crew mates start to die around you.

Join us as Kev tries to get Kate to bad mouth the mashup, criticise Andy's romance scores and advocate for Saw to be added to the list, all of which fail and it's pointed out it's his list and he can do what he wants with it!

Strap in for a journey that isn't quite as hellish as the film we're talking about!

Check out the update website for the show at ⁠⁠https://longplay.video/⁠⁠

IMDB -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119081

Drinks bought by OutOut - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://outoutsharedmemories.app/⁠

So money, baby! Welcome back down to the bar for Episode 42 of the ultimate movie review podcast.

This week, Kev continues counting down his 100 favourite films of all time when we invite back our resident Doug Liman expert Carla, not something we ever thought we'd have an expert on at the start of the pod. Join Kev, Andy, and Carla as they crack open drinks and dissect everything 90s.

This week what sort of a world the 90s were when catchphrases ruled us all. We wonder if Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau really 'needed' this movie to be big or were always going to be money, with Andy changing his mind at least twice. Kev has done research again, being able to quote previous films and even throwing in a Steven Spielberg bit of trivia. We ask just how much time Carla spends with Jon Favreau, how well Kev knows Doug Liman and with inflation how long is 2 days in the 90s to call a girl, in today's Gen Z world. Kev also has some advice for Gen Z which is a bit more to the point.

Join us as we talk about #59 on Kev's list, 1994s Swingers....baby!

Check out the update website for the show at ⁠https://longplay.video/⁠

IMDB -⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117802/

Drinks bought by OutOut - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://outoutsharedmemories.app/

Say his name three times, or just hit play!

We’re descending back into the bar for as we've hit Number 60 on Kev’s 100 favourite films of all time: the 1988 Tim Burton goth masterpiece, Beetlejuice!

In this episode, we drag our resident "horror expert" Natalie (who was born in 1988 and somehow avoided this movie her entire life) into the afterlife for her very first viewing. Is it the best week of her life, or are we just terrible friends? Grab a green, bug-themed Grasshopper cocktail (or Kev's curdled charcoal concoction) and join as we talk about how Michael Keaton steals the entire movie in only 17 minutes of screentime. How having puppets and in-camera effects somehow still looks better than today's CGI and how young Alex Baldwin, Geena Davis and Winona Ryder all look!

The top trump battle is one for the ages as the AI becomes infected by Tim Burton and gets mysteriously dark and weird on us. Is Kev finally right and it's nothing but Bangers from here on out?

No incantations or handbook for the recently deceased required. Just pour a drink, watch out for the sandworms, and let’s celebrate being weird!

Check out the update website for the show at https://longplay.video/

IMDB -⁠⁠⁠https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094721/

Drinks bought by OutOut - ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://outoutsharedmemories.app/

The Jewel of the Nile (1985) — Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner & The Romancing the Stone Sequel | #61 on Kev's 100

This week at the bar we introduce Kate, our new Michael Douglas expert, who instantly starts a Twitter war with him before she's even sat down and ordered a flimsy drink. We pit Michael Douglas against Tom Cruise in a game neither one wants to win.

We marvel at how much the viewing order of a film franchise changes everything — anyone discovering The Jewel of the Nile today instantly knows it's the Romancing the Stone sequel, instead of finding out years later when they stumble across the prequel.

Kev is in de-Nile that this 1985 Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito adventure is far more of a romance film than an action adventure — and that's more Nile than appears in the entire movie. Andy doesn't hold back on his romance score, and despite Kev trying to widen the definition to "friend-mance", he's tempted to play his veto.

Kate stays neutral throughout, although admits she'll never watch it again and won't recommend it to anyone. What a Michael Douglas expert to have.

Join us as we review #61 on Kev's 100 favourite films list: The Jewel of the Nile.

IMDB -⁠⁠https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089370/

Drinks bought by OutOut - ⁠⁠⁠https://outoutsharedmemories.app/

Welcome back down to Cocktails and Shattered Dreams! This week, we board the 2022 action film, Bullet Train. Andy actually watched this high-speed thriller while stuck on a stationary Southeastern train waiting for a driver, which really maximised the immersion. We dive into Brad Pitt embracing fun roles as a begrudging assassin with terrible luck, and debate if the film suffers from an identity crisis. Should it have committed fully to the silly Guy Ritchie style or the serious Kill Bill storyline? And did they just write the entire movie around that one cool shot of Brad Pitt flying through a crashing carriage?

Alongside the cinematic breakdown, we discuss our sponsor OutOut helping you organise messy trip photos, Kev sipping a BoomSlang while Andy attempts the ridiculous 71-ingredient Commonwealth Cocktail, and Poppy stepping in to correct Andy's notes yet again. Finally, brace yourself for the ultimate cinematic mashup as the brotherly love of Bullet Train collides with the step-brotherly love of Clueless. Grab your train ticket and join us at the bar!

Ethan Hunt is back, and thankfully, so is the running. In episode 38, we tackle Mission: Impossible – Fallout, a film featuring rooftop sprints, helicopters bumper cars, bathroom-based violence and enough exposition to make even the most patient IMF agent whisper: “Guys, you’re overthinking this”

Is Tom Cruise playing Ethan Hunt, or is Ethan Hunt playing Tom Cruise? Has Andy secretly completed a HALO jump, making him the real Ethan Hunt? And why does Ethan Hawke keep getting mentioned when he isn’t even in the film?

We discuss the genuinely next-level bathroom fight, the questionable need for both Paris and London chase sequences, Bond’s apparent inability to speak another language, and whether Fallout represents the modern adventure film: spectacular, slightly silly and best enjoyed if you don’t think about it too much

Also featuring: Henry Cavill’s reloaded arms, Simon Pegg becoming an action star, Tom Cruise’s broken ankle, the world’s most unnecessarily complicated bomb-disposal instructions and the eternal question: where does the actor end and the character begin?

Just don’t overthink it

Welcome back down to the bar!

In this episode, Kev and Andy tackle #64 Hudson Hawk, the gloriously unhinged cult film that somehow crams cat burglars, cappuccinos, singing heists, dolphin talk, and a world domination plot into one deeply weird package.

We dig into Bruce Willis's bonkers passion project, the Die Hard meets Looney Tunes chaos, the suspiciously overcomplicated story, and whether anyone involved was ever stopped by a sensible adult.

Expect us to dissect:

• A massive studio budget seemingly blown on chaotic Italian holidays

• Graphic scenes casually sneaking into a wacky kids movie

• The completely pointless singing heist mechanic

• Andy utterly failing at his AI prompting

It is part nostalgia, part roast, and fully committed to the bit. Grab a rum spiked hot chocolate or force down a cappuccino and hit play!

This week Andy & Kev are in their elements, talking about a film from the 80s that they've only ever watched on TV! They are shocked at the language in the actual film and also have 2 scenes they've never seen before, or at least 1 of which Kev just couldn't remember!

They talk about growing up with the actor Eddie Murphy before realising he's done the odd bit of comedy too and how young he is in this break out film!

Now the sections have been sorted on Top Trumps, everyone agrees there's less cheating, although Andy's obsession with making them logical still brings out questions. Does he think this is the best soundtrack of all time? Can Kev even remember how any themes from Star Wars go? All this and more as we talk about, at number 65 on Kev's list, Beverly Hills Cop.

IMDb - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086960/

This week we're holed up in the bar, drinking the strongest drink known to humans and trying to follow the rules. Andy and Kev discuss their past experiences with zombies, what their plan will be when they take over and discuss how quickly Rob would kill Zombie Andy.

We discuss if Dalton from Roadhouse would have survived, how much the Fifth Element rule applies to this film and come up with a whole new scoring system live and unprepared. Join us as we talk about #66 on Kev's list, Zombieland.

MDB -⁠https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1156398/

Drinks bought by OutOut - ⁠⁠https://outoutsharedmemories.app/

Andy and Kev head back onto the balcony bar today as we welcome Poppy back to the pod, always a ratings draw! We discuss what Disney means to all of us across generations and pray that this is a better film than the last cartoon we had to watch! We talk about 1980s Disney, how many songs you need to have in a movie for it to be a musical and how a bat and a cat can work for a rat but as long as there's no matts anywhere, you can avoid copyright! Join us as we talk through #67 on Kev's list, (Basil) The Great Mouse Detective.

IMDB -https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091149

Drinks bought by OutOut - ⁠https://outoutsharedmemories.app/

This week we double the fun, double the main actors and double the impact! We discuss if JCVD actually fights anyone or is it 1 kick win or lose! Just how much slow motion is too much and how do you half an egg white?

Top Trumps gets very controversial with Romance and Action scores all over the place and there's rumours a plenty including who replied to letters from an unknown Jean Claude and a better known David Attenborough!

Join us as we discuss number 69 on Kev's list, Double Impact.

IMDB -https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101764/

Drinks bought by OutOut - https://outoutsharedmemories.app/

This week on the pod Andy and Kev make sure they're talking about the same film because they have wildly different ways to pronounce it. The discussion gets even stranger when it seems like we've reverted to season 1 and Andy is talking about a film he likes and Kev hates! They make the claim that this film is better if you don't watch it to the end and Kev struggles to remember how many people are there in a film with 4 people, or should we say 'people'! Join us as we talk about 2014s, Alex Garland film Ex Machina (pronounced Ex Makiner)

IMDB -https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0470752/

Drinks bought by OutOut - https://outoutsharedmemories.app/

We abruptly end Kev's romance phase but he still has last week's film on his mind and thinks this week is quite similar! Freddie comes down to the bar so we can teach him about late 20th Century films, especially why rain was so important in them all. Kev talks about one of his all time favourite films whilst realising it's not on his list for 100 all time favourite films and we try and work out in a film about a specific number of kills, how many are actually in the film? Join us as we talk about #70 on Kev's list, the 1995 David Fincher classic, Se7en.

IMDb - ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114369/

Kev's romance phase continues as we travel around the 90s down at the bar. Is this film more of a representation of Kev and Andy in the 90s than last week's, the school photos would certainly say so! We say HELLO to 90s fashion, comedy and the feeling that we've seen this all before as we tackle number 71 on Kev's list, 1995s So I Married an Axe Murderer.

IMDb - ⁠⁠⁠https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108174

Drinks provided by Out Out - Shared Memories - ⁠⁠https://outoutsharedmemories.app/

Our horror movie expert, Natalie, joins us at the bar this week as we discuss a film she instantly denies is a horror film! Matters then descend further when Kev and Natalie get into a kung-fu fight over which Bruce Lee films are the best. Once again, someone is recommending drinking Absinthe to make it through one of Kev's films and that's all before we try and piece together what actually happens in this movie! Join us as we take a long walk down memory lane and revisit 1994's The Crow.

IMDb - ⁠⁠https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109506/

Drinks provided by Out Out - Shared Memories - ⁠https://outoutsharedmemories.app/

This week Rob joins us at the bar for his drink of choice...a tepid glass of water. Before we've even begun talking about the film Kev says we shouldn't have watched it and we spend some time thinking how little we hear about nuclear submarines these days. We discuss the great the special effects that turn out to not actually be special effects and the poor special effects that actually were. Join us as we try and understand the plot to 1989's The Abyss.

IMDb - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096754

Drinks provided by Out Out - Shared Memories - ⁠https://outoutsharedmemories.app/⁠

This week on the pod we're out on the balcony as our under age guest joins us again at the bar! Suffering from a sugar crash, she learns what rehab and Hare Krishna is (only in the context of Airplane!), whilst we wonder if Tim Curry has had the career he deserves or not? It's not often you get to discuss which ending is your favourite but this week we can as we discuss, at #74 on Kev's list of favourite movies, 1985s Clue.

IMDb - ⁠https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088930/?

Drinks provided by Out Out - Shared Memories - https://outoutsharedmemories.app/

This week down at the bar Andy & Kev both watch the film for only the second time. We discuss bad ways to die in space (spinning forever is quite high), how the film can compare to Andy's first watch in IMAX 3D and how it's always nice to see George and always nice to see him leave.

If last season Andy wondered if he was in Fight Club and Kev was imaginary, this season Kev feels like he's in The Prestige and never knows which Andy twin will show up to do the scores (he prefers this week's!). At least the list is in order after last week's bonus episode!! Join us as we discuss #75 on Kev's favourite films of all time, 2013s Gravity.

IMDb - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1454468/

Drinks provided by Out Out - Shared Memories - ⁠⁠https://outoutsharedmemories.app/⁠

Welcome to a special bonus episode of the pod, where Kev sorts out the list so far! Who knew how complicated it was keeping a list of your top movies in order as you re-watched them all....besides Andy.

What will stay, what will be bumped and just how high will Road House climb!

This week Carla comes down to the bar to discuss a very particular set of skills with Andy and Kev but are they enough to help Kev deal with what he can only call a revenge attack by Andy in the Top Trumps scoring?! We discuss how much Carla feels she's in the movie when she reminisces about going to the same U2 tour, how Andy finding out it was written by Luc Besson explains a lot and what other actor we want to see suddenly become an action star! Join us as we talk about #76 on Kev's favourite films, 2008's Taken.

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0936501/

Welcome back down to the bar! Special guest Jim joins us to defend Die Hard as the ultimate "heartwarming" Christmas film. Over Lager Shandies and candy glass cocktails, we debate Bruce Willis’s everyman status, useless FBI agents, and read a "bonkers" alternate-reality review where Hugh Grant plays the villain.

Did John McClane survive Kev's leaderboard re-order? Take off your shoes, ball up your toes, and tune in.

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095016/@longplayvideo

Dust off your VHS player and grab a Screwball, thisweek we’re at #78 with the 1989 comedy Major League. Trish joins the bar with a "fresh" perspective, mostly because she mistook it for A League of Their Own, and missed the key intro dialogue that sets up the premise of the movie 😁
We debate the questionable voodoo gags and Tom Berenger’s creepy stalking of Rene Russo, while wondering why Wesley Snipes only runs in slow-mo 😂There are cardboard cutouts, Charlie Sheen's new line of glasses, a bonkers WWII mashup. And a veto debate on the scoring 😱 Will we all survive for next weeks trip to a 1988 Christmas party that goes "explosively" wrong when a guest loses his shoes.

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097815/@longplayvideo

Grab a stool and pour yourself a chilled Sake—this week,we’re crossing names off the list at #79 with Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill: Vol. 1. We tackle the Tarantino’s iconic cinematography, the House of Blue Leaves bloodbath, and the soundtrack that defined 2003. Kev finds a new appreciation for the film while realising he’s forgotten every genius twist,leading us into a debate on whether this is a brilliant homage or "dodgy" cultural appropriation. We wrap with a mashup, merging the Bride’s vendetta with the "aim for the bushes" logic of The Other Guys, and see if Uma Thurman can hurdle RoadHouse on the leaderboard.

Next week, we head back to the "sacred" 1989 for a classic sports comedy.

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0266697/@longplayvideo

This week, we’re at #80 with Indiana Jones and theLast Crusade. Over a round of Sidecars, we tackle the "holytrinity" of Indy, relive Andy’s childhood nightmares, and breakdown the Connery/Ford dynamic. We’re also lamenting the loss of the 80s adventure flick to the "Rock" era and trying to find the Grail among Kev's Top 100. Choose wisely

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097576/@longplayvideo

This week we cover all every mode of transport possible, but it's not a travel blog, it's Planes, Trains & Automobiles at #81. After another seamless intro, we delve into this John Hughes high schoolers film, set when they are adults…but have they really grown up? We question if the 90min mark is about 30mins too short, Andy continues to try and undertsand the plot of Kev's films, we have an epic mashup. And true to form, Kev has no idea how to re-rank his films, much to Andy's anguish 😁

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093748/@longplayvideo

This week Andy can’t remember where he is, Kev thinks he’s just waking up from a long sleep and we wonder how bad things were in 1993, that in just 3 years there’s a total break down of law and order.

Andy compares what Batman movie all the main characters think they’re in, spoilers they’re all different ones. Kev asks who’s side Andy would be on in the franchise wars (there’s only one right answer.) Kev comes up with an action score that is up there with Andy’s Jurassic Park romance score and If you ever need to turn off a director’s commentary, have we got the 3 star review for you!

Join us as we explore #82 on Kev's list, the Sylvester Stallone, Sandra Bullock and Wesley Snipes classic action (?) comedy (?) Demolition Man.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106697/

Join us at Cocktails and Shattered Dreams this week for #83 Zootopia. Poppy the fact-checker returns, who is glad this isn't the sequel to All Dogs go to Heaven. While she might be a fact-checker she has her dad's skills at scoring, with a 99 score for action 😂
If all that wasn't enough, we work out that the film is too sweet for Andy, kids are cruel regardless of human or animal, and prep for next week with Rob's favourite actor of all time without disputeIMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2948356/@longplayvideo

Welcome back to the bar, where Carla escapes the video shopto make her bar debut—after accidentally watching this week’s film in both English and German. We’re at #84 on the list with 2011's Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. We pour some straight gin (or embalming fluid) and debate if the RDJ and Jude Law bromance was a little overcooked this time around.

We dive into the completely unnecessary "hedgehoggoulash" subplot , discuss the pointlessness of Stephen Fry being naked, and marvel at a 3-star review furious over a misplaced chess piece at exactly 39 minutes and 56 seconds. We wrap up by imagining Sherlock losing his mind trying to keep up with TikTok algorithms. Settle in for a Guy Ritchie special.

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2948356/@longplayvideo

Welcome back to Cocktails & Shattered Dreams, nowfeaturing a marble “Pizza Express” aesthetic—Poppy’s ideal bar vibe 😁

This week we’re hitting #85 on the list with Kev’s  first-ever (remembered) cinema experience, though re-watching it now is possibly not the same.

We dive into a debate on Gen X, Y, Z, and Alpha while Andyreminisces about the glory days of the milkman delivering cream soda. We cover the Ten Commandments, to Poppy calling out Andy’s spelling again, and Kev tries to convince everyone that rules make it more fun. While the moon draw-er was "on point," the truth is Burt Reynolds cannot sing, and the songs just don't hit the mark for a classic. We wrap up with a chat on "immortality", because honestly, this film isn’t a great one. Grab a Coke Float and settle in.

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096787/@longplayvideo

Welcome back to Cocktails & Shattered Dreams for #86 on Kev’s list, The Insider. It’s a high-stakes look at corporate ethics and the 90s era of journalism. We’re going deep on Al Pacino staying just below "ranting caricature”, and Russell Crowe delivers an epic performance. We end up with a "dead heat" rewatch score, and the mashup blends Big Tobacco with a WWI propaganda football match.

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0140352/

This week on the pod we discuss the difference between a Channel 4 and an ITV childhood when there’s only 4 channels. We discuss how long a 1 liner can be and still be a 1 liner, as well as the difference between 80s and 2000s action.

We get into the details of how a helicopter works, how Andy's scoring works and which is more complicated. How do you compare an action movie with a semi documentary about a financial crash...with ease apparently as this week, at number 87 on Kev's list, we talk about 1987's The Running Man.

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093894/@longplayvideo

This week at Cocktails and Shattered Dreams, Kev, Andy &MCU guru Freddie shrink down #88 on Kev's Top 100: 2018's "Ant-Man and the Wasp" – his "least fave fave" Marvel (baffling the expert 😂).

Kev digs Rudd's everyman charm, quantum gimmicks, and comedy beats; Andy brands it "fine" (his fave MCU slur 😁), with too much exposition, ghost villain flop, and post-Rudd fatigue. They roast villain overload, FBI truth serum comedy gold, quantum everything, and why Kev only has one more MCU film on his list, which one could it be?
We cover all the reactions, with magic fun from Freddie! Beige homework from Andy. And perfect comedy-action balance from Kev. Catch school shrinks, Pez dispenser chases, grandma heists, and Whiplash mashup 🥳🥳

On the menu: Freddie's tequila rose shots (smallbut punchy), Kev's sake bombs for shrinking vibes, Andy's vodka sprite – standard, like the film

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5095030/@longplayvideo

This week at Cocktails and Shattered Dreams, we tackle #89on Kev's Top 100: 1989's Tom Hanks suburban nightmare "The 'Burbs". Kev's nostalgic for its zany Gremlins vibes and stacked cast (Hanks! Fisher! Feldman!); Andy calls it bizarrely all-over-the-shop, with zero chemistry, weak plot, and Hanks edging into Saviour mode too soon.

Alongside guest Dani, we debate satanic panic, Carrie Fisher's meh wig, typecast army nuts, and why Kev skipped Splash, Big, and Turner & Hooch, for this "funny" Hanks flick 🤯 Dani graciously calls it amusingly weird; while Andy clocks it as Scooby-Doo gone wrong with Rear Window pretensions; Kev admits it crumbles on rewatch.

Expect Rear Window riffs, werewolf red herrings, product placement overload, and an ending that reveals... nothing much 😂😂
Quote: "Is that supposed to go up to 5000 degrees"IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096734/@longplayvideo

This week at Cocktails and Shattered Dreams, Kev and Andy tackle #90 on Kev's Top 100: 2024's Pharrell Williams "Piece by Piece" – their first ever documentary showdown, and naturally it's the one made entirelyof Lego 🥳. Kev's mesmerised by the tiny plastic beats,swirling colours, and to quote an epic film, I don’t think he can “handle the truth" about the last part of the film; Andy's debates whether this "happy" flick dodges the big topics, and will we ever find out why theNeptunes broke up?​

On the menu: Kev cracks open pure childhood nostalgia with Um Bongo straight from the carton, while Andy rolls up with a piña colada that kicks off like a party high but crashes into a sugar slump – much like the film's second half. They dive into tackling massive topics in a fun Lego world, Pharrell still hustling for his mates, and if that insanely creative synaesthesia opener just... quietly bricks it later on.​

Poppy phones in a flawless 100/100 rewatch score 🥳,Kev ribs Andy's romance heart for turning to coal, and we learn Andy's life story is pure Fast & Furious chaos while Kev dreams of an animated midlife meltdown 😂. Catch Snoop in Lego glory, Pharrell's eternal niceness, Andy's finally spot-on scores, and an ending flatter than ourpost-cocktail vibes 😂😂.

Quote: "Relevance is a drug"

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt31064841/

@longplayvideo

This week Arnie heads to Mars in Total Recall, but the real question is: did he actually go there, or is this whole podcast a dream? 🤔

Andy's back with his hilariously high standards and controversial scoring system. This week, guest Rob joins us at the bar to discuss whether Ben Affleck should be the next Terminator, why the remake makes the original look like a masterpiece, and—most importantly—would you actually go to Recall and get your memory implanted?

We dive into body horror (so much body horror), mysterious suitcases full of stuff, and Andy's completely unhinged belief that Sinners and From Dusk Till Dawn are totally different films. Spoiler: they're not, and yes, Andy is definitely dreaming.

Plus: Rob gets an unexpected education in Lego movie lore. Strap in. It's 1990. It's violent. It's confusing. And honestly? We're not sure any of this actually happened.

Quote: "A man is defined by his actions not his memory"

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100802/

@longplayvideo

This week at the bar, Andy and Kev take on Drive, Nicolas Winding Refn’s neon-drenched crime thriller and possibly the quietest film to ever cause this much disagreement. With Ryan Gosling barely saying a word, Andy questions Kev’s long-standing obsession with strong, silent types — accidental pattern or window into his soul?

Is Drive home to the greatest lift scene ever filmed, rivaling The Apartment? We dig into the real Ryan Gosling (not the deep-fake one from Season One), asking whether he’s the leading man Hollywood keeps searching for — or the Patrick Swayze of his generation hiding in plain sight.

Top Trumps descend into chaos as Andy tries to be generous with scores for a film he doesn’t love, Kev refuses on principle, and the pair debate the perfect ratio of violence to action. Somewhere along the way, evidence emerges that Kev may have time-travelled back to 2011 to influence Andy’s opinion.

Number 92 on Kev’s list. Satin jackets, synths, and existential staring ensue

Quote: "No...It's bad luck"

IMDB:https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780504/@longplayvideo

This week Andy and Kev dive into the cult 80s action classic Road House (1989) starring Patrick Swayze, exploring bouncers, bar fights, mullets, monster trucks and small-town villains in one of the strangest movies of the decade.

We ask whether Swayze is the zen martial-arts philosopher of his generation, why every 80s bad guy owns a helicopter, and whether Tai Chi is an acceptable form of nightclub security training. Kev questions how many films Andy has actually seen, whether he’s watched them in the correct order and if Road House represents the absolute peak of late-80s cinematic excess.

It’s cocktails, shattered dreams and roundhouse kicks as number 93 on Kev's lists heads into the dive bar to find out if Road House is a masterpiece, a disaster, or somehow both at once.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098206/

This week we review Jim Carrey's The Mask—a chaotic '90s masterpiece with a dog in a suit, swing music, and Cameron Diaz's film debut. Andy's scoring is all over the shop (we're talking D- territory. He's giving serious Roger Ebert energy 😁). The dice stage a fightback, and we somehow detour into Avengers territory for some reason.

Fair warning: Andy's scoring has never been more confused.

🎲 Dice drama included.

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110475/@longplayvideo

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This week at the bar we talk about how hard it is to get a good snake tattoo (especially in the 80s) and how much action do you need in a film for it to be considered an action film? We discuss how 80s films don’t really bother explaining plot, even when a POTUS has an inexplicable English accent. We agree best not to have any question on this one as, at #95 we watch Escape from New York.

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082340/

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On today's episode our Resident Palaeologist join us (Andrew). We cover Scottish accents, 6and7. straight to DVD, non-helicopter parenting/straight in the wild (literally). We cover lots of different movies; Goonies with Dinos. Jaws on Land, Shark in the Army, Eric and the Dinosaurs, Andy delivers a blow to John Williams asking if he could've done better 😂 Andy is all over the place with his scoring, and using Limitless as his baseline has produced some interesting results. Ultimately, he was thinking too much about replace Jeff Goldblum in all his movies, with Eric Cantona (we've all been there 😂). Join us for the most nineties Spielberg-y film at #96 Jurassic Park

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107290/Quote: "I'm always on the look out for a future ex-Mrs Malcolm"

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It's been two years since we last did a festive episode, and we've literally watched nothing but Andy's top 100 movies since 2023. So naturally, we're solving this with a chaotic ranking system.

We're in the bar with spiked hot chocolate, ranking Christmas films using our own custom Top Trumps categories. The rules: no film can win two categories, and somehow we have to agree on a winner for each one. (Spoiler: we won't.)

Expect Andy to be disappointed. Expect Kev to forget half the films. Expect a lot of debating about soundtracks, rewatchability, and whether eggnog is actually a drink or a marketing mistake.

One of these films might finally hit 100%. Probably not. But maybe

Can we really trust AI...I mean, if they cant get the death count right in Kingsman, where does that leave us? Well...with a new rule for the podcast 🥳 This week we cover off exploding heads, stuffed animals in toilets, Danish Royalty, bum-gate 🙈 and the "Eggsy Rule". We wonder if directors are in a world of their own, we try to work out if this is a comic book film, or if Mr Darcy really is that good. Join us at #97 for Kingsman.

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2802144/@longplayvideolongplay.video

You know a movie is good when everyone agrees you need to be under the influence of drugs to really enjoy it! This week at the bar we discuss what life is like on the 5th level of inception, the hierarchy of professional killers and what dressing up as a werewolf says about your credentials. Andy wants to know where the other 30 minutes of the film is and Kev admits he did watch another 30 minutes but it was just the same movie again. In a film title with 2 words, 50% of them don’t actually happen in the film as we watch number 98 on Kev’s list Haunted Halloween.

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091178/

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We’re on to the 2nd movie at the bar and Kev’s already forgotten that it’s his list we’re doing and attacks the film as much as any of Andy’s list! Do we have another ‘Visitor’ on our hands or in the end will he remember why he likes it? Is this a bowling movie, has Andy watched Bowfinger instead because the spelling is similar and why do so many things happen that never get referenced again?? More importantly is Season 2 going to be 700 episodes and we’re never going to get past #99! At #99 (for now) it’s Kingpin!

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116778/@longplayvideolongplay.video

At the bar it’s time for Old Fashioned versus Depth Charge 🥃🥛as we debate whether The Usual Suspects is a twisty classic or we just come full circle after 106 mins 😂

If Keyser Söze is actually clever, why does so much of it play like a CBeebies bedtime story 😁 and why is a customs cop running the show?

Andy drops a bomb in minute one; we spar over rewatchability, noir vibes, and the immortal lines (“the greatest trick…”). We roll the Dice of Destiny, launch our “what are they doing now?” segment—featuring a post‑twist Keyser hiding out in B&Q’s garden section—and unveil our ‘Crimson Getaway’ mash‑up pitch. Vote in our Spotify poll for Best Line.

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114814/

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We welcome everyone to Season 2, and take you through what the new series will be like. We are going to be running through Kev's Top 100 favourite films, the question on everybody's lips is…can he actually remember 100 films 👀 We take you through the new categories, Andy and Kev believe their roles will change (but the reality is Andy loves research too much, and Kev has limited available brain cells to do anything other than watch the film 😁) We unveil our new theme song, and our new location 😱 But is Andy ready for the volume of differing Action genres on the list 😂IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114814/Quote:the greatest trick the devil ever pulled. Was convincing the world he didnt exist@longplayvideolongplay.video

We run through all of Andy's top 100 films and remember the highs and lows of season 1. Kev walks us through his highlights from the list and Andy talks through some films he's seens since starting the pod that might feature in the renewed list in 10 years time (just like Sight and Sound!)

The top 25 has been re-ordered with some films falling, or is it still climbing to different places.

Finally Andy and Kev close down the shop for refurbishments and we hear some voicemails from past guests to welcome in season 2, the redux!

Well we all made it to episode 100, as Andy talks us through the much anticipated? Long awaited? Or maybe just long, YiYi. Natalie joins Andy and Kev at the shop for this one because that's the way the dice falls! Andy is rechristened 'No Spoilers Butt' by his wife and even still can't help but give away some clues on the film. Will everyone still be in the shop once the film is finished? Will more people have wandered in because it takes so long? Episode 100 finishes off Andy's top 100 films and it's quite a ride!

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0244316/

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This week Poppy joins us in the shop, and re-orders the entireplace into a system only she understands. She unveils her secret system for correct bath temperatures, and gives us an uncanny Andy impression that's so accurate it's grim (in both senses of the word).

Andy, meanwhile, continues to pander to the robots, at Kev’sexpense and then he concocts a brand new drink (I wonder if that could be served at the Long Play Video bar🍹). And we settle the debate on the best movie snacks for a Visceral 4D film experience like this. Join us this week for episode 99, with as many twists as Celebrity Traitors, Spirited Away!

IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4846340/

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