Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Living Wisely Living Well | With Asha Nayaswami

Develop a sense of community with others. No one in this world stands alone, though in many ways the opposite seems true, since we come into this life alone and must leave it again at death, quite alone. Yet we come into a welcoming family, and should so live our lives that others weep when we leave this world. Everything we do in our solitary-seeming comings and goings depends, to a great extent, on others. Expand your sense of community to include an ever-larger number of people, until you see everyone on earth as belonging to your own family, in God.

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Respect excellence wherever you find it. True excellence is often the result of group endeavor, but it requires in every case the personal commitment of energy and awareness. Excellence, like everything else that is worthwhile, springs from within the Self.

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Imagine every difficulty, every desire, every attachment soaring up and away from you like a balloon, growing smaller with distance until it disappears. Then return to your essential Self, and enjoy your release into infinite freedom.

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There is a simple key to happiness: Resolve to be happy! Depend not on outer things for what you want in life. Earthly happiness is like a rainbow: radiant with bright colors, but evanescent, for it consists only of raindrops—which, in human life, are the droplets of earthly sorrow! When you learn to welcome the rain as gladly as you smile at a rainbow—the one bringing cleansing to the heart; the other reminding you of God’s inner joy—you will be happy always.

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If a mood oppresses you, offer it into a wider perception of reality. Moods are like waves: no matter how tall a wave, the ocean level never changes. Live at that point, inwardly, where nothing can affect you.

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You have within yourself the power to overcome all adversity. Even were you to be enslaved, or thrown into a dungeon without hope of release, no one can possess or incarcerate your mind. If you cannot conquer a difficulty outwardly, rise above it inwardly: Seek freedom in your heart. No one can ever deny you that freedom. Were utter failure to crash upon you like a giant wave, know that God’s law is ever benign and just. Place yourself in His hands, and everything must turn out eventually for the best.

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When troubles beset you, seek both their cause and their solution in yourself. Karmic law rules supreme everywhere. Your actions of the past represented movement in opposite directions from an unchanging center in yourself. That movement always returns, with equal force, in the opposite direction. Though hindered by what my Guru called “the thwarting crosscurrents of ego,” the law must always, sooner or later, be fulfilled. Those myriad back-and-forth movements seldom proceed in a straight line; instead, they create eddies that draw into themselves the debris of countless desires and involvements. Don’t upset yourself with life’s complexity, but seek the divine simplicity of oneness with God’s joy. To do otherwise is to court endless troubles.

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How shall you define God? Think of Him (or Her) as the highest potential you can imagine for yourself. God is all that, and much more. As the Indian scripture, the Bhagavad Gita, states, He is, in all things, their supreme manifestation: Perfect Power, Wisdom, Love, Joy, Peace, Fulfillment, Satisfaction, Beauty, and Contentment.

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Concentrate on the details of what you do. At the same time, refer those details constantly, not only to your overall purpose, but to a higher end. Keep the will tuned to life’s true goal: This is one of the secrets of genius, which comes from the superconscious and is inspired by God. Whatever you do, offer your efforts up to Him for higher guidance.

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Never complain, no matter what you have to endure. Misfortune lies in your perception of things, not in things themselves. Should you suddenly lose all your wealth—perhaps in a stock market crash—the time may have come in God’s plan for you to experience poverty. One positive lesson to be learned from every loss is calm detachment. Another is to become more whole in yourself. Success and failure, equally, are part of life’s flow. So too are all the pairs of opposites: wealth and poverty, fame and ignominy, gain and loss of every kind. Accept them with a smile, for only in God can one rise permanently above duality. Meanwhile, whatever your lot in life, accept it with good cheer. Remember, all this is a show—a cosmic dream; a drama. To your deeper Self, life here on earth has no reality.

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In life’s race, compete only against yourself. Sooner or later, no matter how skilled you are, there will always be someone better. Every record will be broken; every “best” will be bettered. In the battle between good and evil, seek victory over your ego. Be calmer today than heretofore. Be kinder, more forgiving, more accepting, less judgmental. Whatever your faults or virtues, give increasing energy to that which, in the end, will bring you bliss.

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Truth cannot be learned: it must be recognized. If you want to guide others to the truth, state your thoughts simply; get people to respect them rather than you for having stated them. Speak the truth in such a way as to bring it back to people’s remembrance. The sage Patanjali defined enlightenment as smriti: memory.

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Pay little heed to people’s opinions—even to your own! Truth is not a matter of opinion: Truth simply is.

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Work at simplifying your view of life. Seek the simple unity beneath life’s endlessly bewildering complexity. Complexity, whether in work or in relationships, only creates more complexity. To be divinely childlike means to discover perfect oneness in God’s bliss.

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Make a special effort, today, to break out of some self-enclosure—whether of selfishness, or timidity, or personal preoccupation. The growth toward maturity is a matter of escaping from one’s ego-prison. Expand your awareness to include the needs of others. Then expand your feelings, by sympathizing with those needs. Next, expand your self-identity by helping people to fulfill their needs. Finally, release yourself from self-identity altogether by telling yourself, “It is not I who help anyone: I am only a channel for God’s grace.” The feeling will come to you at last: “He alone is acting through me; He alone is the Doer.”

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See yourself, when you help others, as a gardener watering his plants. Whether the plants be bushes, grass, or flowers, all of them need water. And human beings, whether haughty or humble, harsh or gentle, ignorant or learned, provocative or submissive, dryly brittle or richly humorous: all of them need nourishment. If you nourish them with the nectar of kindness, they will thrive.

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View your problems dispassionately, as if from a mountain peak. Perspective is lost in the valley of personal involvement. How tiny life’s problems are, compared to your spiritual reality! If you allow them to loom large, they may overwhelm you. But if you view them dispassionately, you will see them merely as little specks on the vast panorama of life.

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Be modest—be even self-effacing. But don’t belittle yourself. Self-deprecation, too, brings a focus on the ego. There should be neither superiority nor inferiority complex. Concentrate on the what of things, not on the who.

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Be always, as my Guru put it, “even-minded and cheerful.” Watch a cork bobbing ceaselessly about on the surface of a lake: up and down, up and down, never straying in any particular direction, always keeping to one place. Don’t be like that cork, bouncing with the ripples of emotion. You’ll never get anywhere if you constantly react to what happens around you. Don’t imitate: initiate! Move serenely through life, like a great ocean liner, centered in the Self within.

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Speak from a center of inner silence. Mere chatter is anesthetizing. A man in Calcutta once asked a younger man, “My boy, are you married?” “What do you mean, Am I married? I’m married to your own daughter!” “Oh, I know, I know. I just wanted to talk, and couldn’t think of anything else to say.” Wouldn’t the older man have done better to remain silent? When you speak from the heart of silence, everything you say will have meaning.

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Be thoughtful when communicating with others. Absent-mindedness induces vagueness, which produces chronic failure. Mean what you say, and say it with focused attention. Thus, you will develop the power to succeed at everything you attempt.

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Devote less time than heretofore to being entertained—by watching television, for instance, or by listening to recorded music. Commit yourself to doing things yourself. Don’t work from ego, but offer yourself as a clear channel for the Divine Creator. Passivity is to creativity what floating on water is to swimming. And channeling God’s grace is to egoic creativity what swimming with the current is to struggling against it.

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Look at, or imagine, a river flowing constantly. Then visualize your thoughts flowing similarly—not rippling restlessly; not drifting sluggishly; not frozen in fixed opinions like an ice sheet in wintertime. Adapt yourself to circumstances. The more centered you are in your Self, the easier you will find it to change as the needs arise. Affirm silently: “I adapt like flowing water to new situations and ideas.”

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Think of the setbacks, failures, and disappointments you’ve had in life. Toss them mentally into the air like flower petals, and watch them float away on the wind, diminishing in size until they disappear altogether. Affirm then, joyously, “In my heart, I am forever free!”

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How modern do we owe it to ourselves to be? I myself was born in the then-backward, nearly medieval land of Romania. Never have I made a great effort to bring myself into the modern age. Scientific discoveries have swirled around me. New fads have sprung up. New slang has been tossed merrily from person to person. New ways of looking at things have popped up like jacks-in-the-box. I have chosen to keep myself a little apart from it all, accepting only as much of it as would help me. (These pages, for instance, are being written on a computer.) I say: Pass serenely through life’s fairground of excitements, but let nothing touch you that might take you out of yourself. I myself never watch television, unless for some very specific purpose. I don’t care to be either modern or old-fashioned. Time passes, but divine truth remains forever the same. Why not live in timelessness?

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Whatever you seek to accomplish, approach it with enthusiasm. Once you’ve finished it, however, release it into the infinite. If you keep dwelling on past accomplishments, you won’t be able to concentrate freely on new ones. I myself find it difficult, sometimes, to remember the names of songs I have written, though I love them all. They’re done now, and belong in the past. I have new, fresh images to carve, paint, or otherwise convey.

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Give credit to others for anything you and they have accomplished together. Indeed, give more credit to them than you claim for yourself. I remember my father commenting wryly on the foreword written to a book by the writer’s subordinate: “I recommend this book, which was written at my direction and under my constant supervision.” What had that old fogey gained, except a few chuckles of derision? If a team helps you, presumably it is because you’ve needed their help. And if you did need it, thank them by giving them even more credit, perhaps, than they deserve.

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No calamity will shake you if you can stand calmly and firmly at your own center. “Be able,” as my Guru said, “to stand unshaken amid the crash of breaking worlds!” If you offer your heart’s feelings up in devotion to God, fear will pass overhead like a cloud, and you will be enveloped in bliss.

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Face every trial cheerfully. Don’t shrink from it, but thrust your chest out and accept the test bravely. Remember, you cannot avoid trouble anyway. Trials are like dogs: If they threaten you, confront them with courage and they’ll run away! But if you yourself run away, they’ll give eager chase.

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Seek approval only from people whose opinions you respect. The applause of multitudes is like bubbles in a champagne glass, rising, then bursting at the surface. Better the scolding of the wise than the adulation of fools. Popularity is the surest sign of individual inadequacy.

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Offer up all suffering to God. People speak of Christ’s suffering on the cross. They don’t realize that, in his absolute conquest over ego, he was happy to offer his life as a sacrifice for others. He thereby took onto himself their karma. He himself, however, was immune to pain of all kinds. The suffering he felt was for man’s indifference to God.

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Live as much as possible at the midpoint between all opposites: That is where the Infinite Spirit dwells. Everything in Creation is dual. Thus did the One become many. Every “up” is canceled by a “down”; light is balanced by darkness; pleasure, by pain; emotional love, by hatred (I say “emotional love,” because there is no opposite to divine love, and no balancing opposite to divine joy). Eternal truths lie at the point midway between all opposites. Therefore I say, live more at your center, in the heart.

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Another way to handle pain and sorrow is to tell yourself, “What is happening now is only flotsam on the river of time.” What you feel now won’t last. Dwell on the thought of eternal bliss, which will be yours once you attain inner freedom.

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One way to handle pain and sorrow is to visualize your consciousness expanding in all directions. If, for instance, you are in a dentist’s chair, say to yourself, “What happens to this body can touch only a tiny point in the vast reality of my true Self.”

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Today, tell yourself, “I’m going to see life in a new way! When I look at a tree, I will ask myself, ‘What message has it for me, from God?’ If the trunk is straight, I’ll think, ‘That is how I shall keep my spine: firmly upright.’ If the tree is many-branched, I’ll ask myself, ‘In what new directions of thought and action can I branch out today?’ If the leaves are luxurious, I’ll think, ‘Let my own life flourish similarly!’ And if the tree is bare, let me think (negatively perhaps, at first) ‘I don’t want my life to be barren!’ but then positively: ‘I, too, must withdraw sometimes from outer involvement, to return with renewed vigor in confronting life’s challenges.’” Everything around you can teach and inspire you, if you animate your gaze with a questing mind.

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The Italians have a saying, “Se non è vero, è ben trovato: If it isn’t true, at least it’s well said.” Don’t, however, be lured too far from your own center by the attractive power of epigrams. Where truth is concerned, laugh if you feel to, but in the end, be serious.

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Pretend to yourself that this day is the beginning of a new incarnation. Obviously you aren’t a newborn babe, but try to wipe out any power the past has to keep you always doing the same things, making the same mistakes, and performing in the same old ways. Look for new things to accomplish, new worlds to conquer, new ideas to express. Don’t be the kind of person who declares pompously, “Well, as I always say . . .”: don’t be a “psychological antique.” Try to be ever-new in yourself and in your relations with friends, loved ones, and even complete strangers.

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Whenever you feel pain or sorrow, withdraw from that feeling to your center in the spine. From there, watch those emotions dispassionately. Tell yourself, “Whatever affects my body and ego can never affect me, in my Self. Pain and sorrow—both—are nothing but dreams.”

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If ever it becomes your duty in life to form a committee, see to it that each member has his own area of responsibility. Much time will be saved if those persons are excluded who, with nothing specific to do, would otherwise talk endlessly to little purpose just to show their involvement in what is going on. Chat sessions are of course different, but when there is work to be done, each committee member should have an area for which he is personally responsible. Thus, when a decision is reached, it can be given to him to implement directly.

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An excellent way to rise above physical pain is to divert your mind to something else. I’ve found, for example, when sitting in a dentist’s chair (I haven’t taken Novocain in years), that mentally composing music, or working out some passage in a book I was writing, helped greatly. The dentist’s activities then became hardly noticeable (though often I’ve heard afterward that the dentist himself was perspiring with sympathetic pain!).

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When giving a gift, think not only whether it is something your friend would enjoy receiving: think also whether you would enjoy giving it to him. Gifts should carry vibrations of love and happiness. To give someone a painting that he likes, but that you yourself abominate, would deprive the giving of its essential ingredient: joy.

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Humility is not self-deprecation; it is the simple recognition that, in everything, God alone is the true Doer. God acts through instruments. Humility, though an important step toward overcoming the sense of “I” and “mine,” retains some sense of ego—an ego open to higher wisdom and guidance. In total egolessness, even humility ceases to exist; the little self is no longer a consideration.

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Accents are important indicators of attitude,for they derive from more than upbringing and environment. Ego has its center in the medulla oblongata at the base of the brain. Tension at that point tends to draw the head backward, causing one to “look down his nose at the world,” and thus to speak with a slightly nasal accent. Aggressive will power makes one force his words out. He therefore emphasizes his consonants. Expression of the kinder emotions tends to soften the consonants and emphasize the vowels. Sounds like ü and ö, though common in certain languages, also suggest, in the tightening of the lips, an attitude of mild reluctance. Consonants in which the h is pronounced in conjunction with b, p, t, and k (like the Bengali bhalo [good]) are pronounced similarly in all languages when the feelings are expressed emphatically. The American flat a is a soft, double sound as in “man” (“ma-uhn,” wherein the second sound is almost inaudible); it sounds sweeter than the same word spoken with an open English accent. The r in the word, “better,” sounds warmer and more welcoming in American than in the British English “bettah.” On the other hand, the American double “t” sounds muddier and less precise than the English: American, “bedder”; English, “bettah.”

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Speech is naturally melodic. See to it that the melody of your speech be pleasant and attractive. Notice the melodic change that accompanies every shift of mood or feeling. Watch for such changes also in other people. Learn to detect in people’s voices their sincerity or insincerity; their aggressiveness, defensiveness, or deceit; their intolerance, kindness, or loyalty. Perception of these qualities depends more on self-knowledge than on specific outer guidelines. Some people can tell a lie so convincingly that even the discriminating may at first be fooled. There are also melodic patterns induced by environment and upbringing; take such cadences into account, to see whether the melody of a person’s speech is conditioned or spontaneous.

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When conversing with people, look at a point in their foreheads between the eyebrows, rather than staring too directly into their eyes. To gaze too fixedly in their eyes may seem an intrusion. If, on the other hand, you look at the floor or at the ground, people may think you resent them. And if you look off to the side, they may think you can’t wait to get away from them. If you look up at the ceiling or at the sky, they may suppose you are pondering a point, but if you ponder it too long it will seem to them that, for you, they have ceased to exist. If, then, you gaze at them in the spiritual eye, you may help also to uplift their consciousness.

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Whenever possible, give credit to others even if an idea was first your own. Those who keep trying to draw praise to themselves soon find themselves forced also to carry the whole burden of responsibility. To succeed at anything, especially anything worthwhile, you will almost always need the help of others. If possible, therefore, involve them even now.

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As you wash your body daily, so also, before going to bed in the evening, cleanse your heart of all impure desires and attachments. Free your mind of wrong thoughts, and offer yourself into the clear stream of Divine Bliss.

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Imagine the worst thing that could happen to you. Then, still imagining, relax your heart and accept it. If you can bear that visualization, inner freedom will be yours. Why not, then, accept whatever comes? Do you fear death? It can’t be avoided, so why fear it? When it comes, accept it willingly—even gladly! For know this: You, yourself, can never die.

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In inviting others to participate in decisions that are yours to make, the responsibility for the outcome will be yours also. Allow no one’s suggestions to become your excuse for failure. Accept only ideas that resonate with your intuition. Never feel obligated to accept a suggestion merely because you have asked for it.

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What is the best handshake? People sometimes lightly extend two or three fingers, as if preferring not to touch you at all. Others offer their hand limply, as if eager to disengage from you as quickly as possible. Others cling to your hand as if to a lifeline. Still others squeeze your hand forcefully, as if wanting to overpower you. The best handshake is firm, friendly, and tactfully brief—neither too personal nor too impersonal, and leaving both persons the integrity of their own space.

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