Life Happens with Barb & Michelle – Détails, épisodes et analyse

This week, Barb and Michelle are talking about an emotion many of us avoid and express poorly—anger. Barb shares her personal experience with avoiding anger throughout her life and her journey with moving through this difficult emotion. They share insights they learned from a somatic healer along with ways to express, acknowledge, and feel your anger.

In this episode, they talk about:

• Acknowledging and feeling your anger is key to moving through it
• Transforming your anger into compassion, but still not bypassing those difficult emotions
• Having the courage to set a boundary and communicate in the difficult moment instead of holding onto anger, stress, or negative emotions

Quotes mentioned in this episode:

• “Where there is anger there is always pain underneath.” - Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

• “Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are.” - St. Augustine

• “Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them. Being vulnerable and open is mutual and an integral part of the trust-building process. Because sharing appropriately, with boundaries, means sharing with people whom we’ve developed relationships that can bear the weight of our story. The result of this mutually respectful vulnerability is increased connection, trust, and engagement." - Brene Brown, Daring Greatly

• “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” - George Elliot

Also mentioned in this episode:

• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk

• Catalina Ureta, Somatic Healer

• Somatic Healing in the Age of Trauma: The Points Holding ProcessTM (PHP) and 30 Self-Help Exercises for the Nervous System and Vagus Nerve by Catalina Ureta

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at Michellemaros.com/podcast.

You can also find us on Substack at Love Notes by Michelle Maros and Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

Click here for Barb’s book, The Practice. 

Don’t miss a thing, sign up for our newsletter, here!

This episode is sponsored by Armoire, BetterHelp, ByHeart, Lumen, Mint Mobile, and Sunbasket.

Armoire makes getting dressed easy. With a clothing rental membership from Armoire, build the perfect wardrobe with brands that are high quality, unique, and recommended just for you. Go to armoire.style/barbknowsbest to get up to 50% off your first month. 

BetterHelp is the world’s largest online therapy service—providing professional, afforable, and personalized therapy in a convenient online format. Go to betterhelp.com/barbknowsbest to get 10% off your first month. 

ByHeart is an infant nutrition company built from the ground up to deliver real innovation on behalf of babies and parents. Their mission is simple: make the best formula in the world. Redeem your welcome offer at ByHeart.com/Podcast with code BARBKNOWSBEST for a limited time. Additional terms and conditions apply.

Lumen is the world’s first handheld metabolic coach. It’s a device that measures your metabolism through your breath. And on the app, it lets you know if you’re burning fat or carbs, and gives you tailored guidance to improve your nutrition, workouts, sleep, and even stress management. Go to lumen.me/barbknowsbest to get 15% off your purchase. 

Mint Mobile is premium wireless for $15 a month. All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation’s largest 5G network. To get this new customer offer and your new 3-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com/barbknowsbest.

Sunbasket offers wholesome, nutritious, and delicious meal kits, delivered to your door. Each week, you can choose from a brand new selection of quick and easy meal kit recipes, with a wide variety of dietary options, plus dozens of snacks, salads, breakfast items, and more. Go to sunbasket.com/barbknowsbest to save $120 across your first 4 deliveries.

This week, Barb and Michelle are continuing the manipulation series with this manipulation tactic that is disguised as charm and affection—love bombing. Love bombing is when someone is too loving in the beginning of a relationship before they’ve earned your trust. They share their personal stories and insight on this tricky tactic.

In this episode, they talk about:

• Recognizing and dealing with love bombers and manipulative, charming people
• How love bombing can show up in romantic relationships, friendships, and in the workplace
• Taking caution when someone is overly affectionate or charming
• Getting in touch with your feelings and non-negotiables to protect yourself against manipulators

Quotes mentioned in this episode:

• “Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them. Being vulnerable and open is mutual and an integral part of the trust-building process. Because sharing appropriately, with boundaries, means sharing with people whom we’ve developed relationships that can bear the weight of our story. The result of this mutually respectful vulnerability is increased connection, trust, and engagement." - Brene Brown, Daring Greatly

• "We’ve got to really share our stories and our hard stuff with people who have, over time, really done those small things that have helped us believe that they’re worth our story." - Brene Brown, Anatomy of Trust 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at Michellemaros.com/podcast.

Click here for Barb’s book, The Practice. 

Don’t miss a thing, sign up for our newsletter, here!

This episode is sponsored by Armoire, BetterHelp, ByHeart, Lumen, Mint Mobile, and Sunbasket.

Armoire makes getting dressed easy. With a clothing rental membership from Armoire, build the perfect wardrobe with brands that are high quality, unique, and recommended just for you. Go to armoire.style/barbknowsbest to get up to 50% off your first month. 

BetterHelp is the world’s largest online therapy service—providing professional, afforable, and personalized therapy in a convenient online format. Go to betterhelp.com/barbknowsbest to get 10% off your first month. 

ByHeart is an infant nutrition company built from the ground up to deliver real innovation on behalf of babies and parents. Their mission is simple: make the best formula in the world. Redeem your welcome offer at ByHeart.com/Podcast with code BARBKNOWSBEST for a limited time. Additional terms and conditions apply.

Lumen is the world’s first handheld metabolic coach. It’s a device that measures your metabolism through your breath. And on the app, it lets you know if you’re burning fat or carbs, and gives you tailored guidance to improve your nutrition, workouts, sleep, and even stress management. Go to lumen.me/barbknowsbest to get 15% off your purchase. 

Mint Mobile is premium wireless for $15 a month. All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation’s largest 5G network. To get this new customer offer and your new 3-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com/barbknowsbest.

Sunbasket offers wholesome, nutritious, and delicious meal kits, delivered to your door. Each week, you can choose from a brand new selection of quick and easy meal kit recipes, with a wide variety of dietary options, plus dozens of snacks, salads, breakfast items, and more. Go to sunbasket.com/barbknowsbest to save $120 across your first 4 deliveries.

This week, Barb and Michelle are excited to revisit one of their all-time favorite episodes, a topic they resonate with deeply, and are asked about daily! They discuss how we can start to release the habit of taking other people’s actions and behaviors personally, what that looks like, and how we can find peace in doing so.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at Michellemaros.com/podcast.

Click here for Barb’s book, The Practice. 

Don’t miss a thing, sign up for our newsletter, here!

This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

Mint Mobile is premium wireless for $15 a month. All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation’s largest 5G network. To get this new customer offer and your new 3-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com/barbknowsbest.

In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle get vulnerable again with a discussion on relationships, marriage, and being single in your 30’s. We all feel the societal pressure to tick all the boxes and live up to expectations. In this conversation, we’ll dive into how we both have been letting this pressure go, and how to live life, on your own terms.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

The relationship that we have with ourselves is the most important relationship you will have in life. And it is the foundation of all of the other relationships

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Untamed by Glennon Doyle
• It’s okay to be single and fulfilled at any age by Michelle Maros

GET YOUR LIMITED EDITION BARB KNOWS BEST MERCH TODAY! CLICK HERE!

TW: This episode discusses the topics of sexual abuse, addiction, and family dysfunction.

This week, Barb and Michelle discuss the topic of cycle breaking, what it means to become a cycle breaker, and how we can all start to identify toxic family patterns we want to end. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Cycle breaking - the concept of identifying negative, toxic, dysfunctional family patterns that are passed down from generation to generation. Cultivating the awareness about it and making conscientious changes to not pass this on to further generations.

Steps to Becoming a Cycle Breaker:

• Have awareness. Identifying the patterns or traits you would like to change.
• Have an outlet to discuss or understand the dynamics
• Make the decision that you are not going to carry this. Open yourself up to the healing process
• Consciously deciding to make new patterns while understanding you are not perfect.

Helpful Ways to Choose New Patterns:

1. Set boundaries
2. Allow yourself to remove the unhealthy people in your life.
3. Attend therapy or a support group.
4. Show yourself the kindness and support that you needed as a child.
5. Learn healthy coping strategies for managing big emotions and triggers.
6. For parents, don’t play favorites or pitting children against each other.
7. Release unrealistic expectations for yourself and others.
8. Learn to talk about your feelings and your needs without apologizing.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Dr. Murray Bowen Family Systems Theory
• University of Illinois Counseling Center
• It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover
• Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie
• Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
• Instagram Reel on Cycle Breaking

If you are anyone you know has been a victim of any kind of sexual assault help is available. https://www.rainn.org/resources

GET YOUR LIMITED EDITION BARB KNOWS BEST MERCH TODAY! CLICK HERE!

In this week’s episode, Barb is fresh off her silent retreat and gives us the insight we all are yearning to hear! Barb discusses her takeaways, thoughts, and feelings on her recent experience as well as talks us through her history with going on retreats.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Retreat – the act of giving up and withdrawing or a time away in a quiet and secluded place where you can relax.

Retreats allow for self-observation of personal feelings, thoughts, and sensations without judgment.

Barb’s Tangible Takeaways from Her Retreat:

1. Commit to notice the dialogue your mind is having with you, but you don’t engage with that dialogue.

a. Do not judge.

b. Do not compare.

c. Do not fix.

2. You can’t place your value and self-worth in the external world. You can’t fix the past. Be present in the moment.

3. Retreats for Barb are a rest of the mind. Be in the trough and allows yourself the space and the ability to feel your feelings. Regaining a sense of self.

References Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Barb’s Ted Talk – Is this seat taken?

Vipassana Retreat

GET YOUR LIMITED EDITION BARB KNOWS BEST MERCH TODAY! CLICK HERE!

In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle discuss the pesky issue of indecision and how they both have worked to overcome it. You’ll hear personal stories and tangible tools to feel more confident and at ease with the decision making process. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• The root of indecision is fear and not trusting yourself.
• Connect with yourself. Be aware and mindful of what’s up for you.
• If you're stuck in an indecision and you don't know what to do
• Sit down and ask yourself: If I did know what to do, what would the answer be?
• Asking other people’s opinions clouds your clarity.
• Be mindful of who you go to for advice.
• Trust in whatever choice you make, it will serve you either as a blessing or as a lesson.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Untamed by Glennon Doyle
• Michelle’s Blog Post on Indecision

GET YOUR LIMITED EDITION BARB KNOWS BEST MERCH TODAY! CLICK HERE!

In part two of this series on regret, Barb and Michelle dive further into the relationship we have with regrets, and give personal life examples of how they reframe regrets. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Ask yourself what you truly regret.

Determine what matters to you most and take action to move towards them.

The Practice of R.A.I.N.

• Recognize – Become aware of the emotion that you are feeling.
• Allow – Don’t resist the emotion. Let yourself be present with the emotion.
• Investigate – Ask yourself where you feel the emotion in your body.
• Nurture – Not identify. Have self-compassion for yourself to understand what is happening in your body.

4 Simple Steps:

1. Take Risks. Don’t be afraid to take the first step
2. Make Authentic Choices
3. Believe that if you don’t know things now, you will know later
4. Be grateful for whatever happens, knowing that it’s a teaching.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

The Gifts of Imperfection – Brene Brown

GET YOUR LIMITED EDITION BARB KNOWS BEST MERCH TODAY! CLICK HERE!

This week, Barb and Michelle discuss ways to redefine and reframe regret, so that we can find peace, happiness, and acceptance in the present moment. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Regret can be reframed as a teacher, rather than a negative emotion in our lives.
• You can only make choices with all the information we currently have.     
• When thinking about regrets, try to see how you can work with the present moment, instead of working against it.
• When we really know what matters most to us, then we can actually be in alignment with who we are.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed

GET YOUR LIMITED EDITION BARB KNOWS BEST MERCH TODAY! CLICK HERE!

In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle unpack their own perfectionistic tendencies and the triggers that come along with being a perfectionist. They also provide tips and tricks for how to break the perfectionism cycle and how to cultivate self-compassion.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Triggers for a perfectionist.

• Not wanting to let people down.
• Having trouble delegating tasks, because you feel that you are the only person who can get it done correctly.
• Feeling like if you take a break you’ll fall behind.
• Not enjoying hobbies because you don’t feel you are good enough.
• Procrastinating because you don’t feel ready.
• Revisiting text messages repeatedly before hitting send.
• Having a fear of failure.
• Thinking you are only going to happy when you reach your finish line or complete your task.

Ho'oponopono for Self-forgiveness

To practice ho'oponopono, take five minutes and take a few deep breaths with your eyes closed. Then, slowly repeat these phrases to yourself.

1. I love you.
2. I’m sorry.
3. Please forgive me.
4. Thank you.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

What Made Maddy Run by ESPN commentator Kate Fagan

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