Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Let's Talk About........With Nicky Perfect
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Titre
Date
Durée
From Diplomat To Leadership Coach
16 oct. 2026
00:38:22
An earthquake hits, your team looks to you, and your nervous system screams, “Take control.” That moment reveals your leadership defaults fast. Former US diplomat Jen Brown joins us to share what 23 years in the Foreign Service taught her about crisis leadership, calm decision-making, and why the strongest leaders know when to step forward and when to step aside.
We talk about the leadership trap that drives burnout: believing you must have all the answers, fix every problem, and protect everyone from discomfort. Jen breaks down how coaching transforms that pattern into something healthier and more effective, setting a clear outcome, defining decision authority, and building feedback loops that support accountability without micromanaging. We dig into trust as the foundation that makes hard conversations possible, especially when stress is high and stakes feel personal.
Jen also tells stories you will not forget, including a 7.8 earthquake response in Ecuador and an attempted carjacking with her toddler in the backseat. Those experiences open up a practical conversation about fight, flight, freeze, emotional intelligence, and “positive intelligence” triggers that show up in day-to-day leadership. You will walk away with simple tools to interrupt autopilot, ask better coaching questions, and communicate across culture and personality so “yes” actually means yes.
If you found value here, subscribe, share this with a leader who carries too much, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What is one situation where you want to respond with intention instead of autopilot?
Connect with my guest – Jen Brown
Jen Brown is a former US diplomat and founder of Journey of Grace Coaching, helping leaders build stronger teams, develop self-awareness and lead with greater confidence.
Step parenting can feel like walking into a story halfway through and being expected to know your lines. I talk candidly about what surprised me most when I became a step parent in my 40s, why good intentions are not enough, and how quickly everyday moments can trigger big emotions in a blended family. If you have ever felt like an outsider in your own home, or like you are competing with a bond that existed long before you arrived, you will recognise the tension.
We dig into one of the core skills that changes everything: earning trust. I share how my background in crisis and hostage negotiation shaped the way I approach step parenting conflict, especially the power of active listening. Trust is not granted because you are the adult, it is built through consistency, patience, and real curiosity about what the child is experiencing. I also talk about how holidays, traditions, and co parenting differences can add pressure, and why trying to “win” usually backfires.
Another key thread is meaning making, the stories we attach to events like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or the fear of having “no rights” as a step parent. Those stories can quietly create resentment, jealousy, or anxiety unless we name them and challenge them. I also touch on the reality that step parenting can break your heart sometimes, and why pausing before you react can protect the relationship you are trying to build.
If you want practical step parenting advice, calmer blended family communication, and fewer painful spirals, listen through to the end and take one idea into your next tough conversation. Subscribe, share this with a step parent who needs it, and leave a review so more families can find the support, what part do you want to work on next?
A Single Conversation Sparked A Trip That Changed How I Communicate
02 oct. 2026
00:19:45
A 14-hour bus ride, four hours along some very challenging roads and a village welcome filled with singing and dancing.
It sounds like a travel story, but my trip to Tanzania became something much more.
I came home thinking about communication, community, education and how much we can understand about another human being — even when we don't speak the same language.
In this episode of Let's Talk About, I share three lessons that have stayed with me.
First, the power of community.
I saw what can happen when people collaborate, share responsibility and, importantly, listen to what their community actually needs. Arriving exhausted to an incredible welcome of singing and dancing reminded me just how powerful human connection can be.
Second, the power of education.
During a visit to a secondary school, I heard the Nelson Mandela quote:
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”
It made me reflect on how easily we can take access to education for granted and what I can practically do to help create opportunities for others. I also share the commitment I've made to help fund a teacher in the community.
And third, something my years as a hostage and crisis negotiator have taught me time and again: emotion needs no translation.
We might look different. We might dress differently. We might use different words.
But we experience many of the same emotions.
During one particularly emotional moment with a young woman in the village, language sometimes failed us — but listening didn't.
Tone mattered. Body language mattered. Being present mattered.
And sometimes that is all another person needs from us.
I came home from Tanzania incredibly grateful — not only for the experience and the wonderful people I met, but for many of the things in my own life that I sometimes forget to stop and appreciate.
Perhaps that's the biggest lesson of all.
Sometimes we need to stop long enough to notice just how much we already have.
🎙️ Let's Talk About with Nicky Perfect BEM — conversations about communication, conflict and navigating some of life's toughest moments.
If this episode makes you stop and think, please subscribe, share it with someone who might enjoy it, and let me know which of the three lessons stayed with you.
One small moment can light a fuse: a late sleep-in, a sharp comment, a meeting that goes sideways, a family gathering where you brace for tension. I’ve just come back from a life-shifting trip that left me feeling deeply grateful, and it also got me thinking about why we struggle so much with the conversations we know we need to have. The truth is that most conflict isn’t only about the topic, it’s about the meaning we assign to it and the beliefs we’re defending.
I walk through what a “difficult conversation” really is, why clashing opinions can turn into sarcasm, silence, or a shouting match, and how misreading motives creates distance fast. A generational example shows how two people can care about each other and still spiral into conflict when nobody says what’s actually going on. We also dig into the hard ones that linger for years, where memory gets fuzzy, resentment burns in the background, and you start wondering if avoiding the talk is saving the relationship or slowly costing it.
We’ll get practical about consequences and confidence at work, including the language of “superiors” and how giving away your power can quietly shape every interaction. I share the E + R = O idea (event plus response equals outcome), plus simple reflection questions to help you notice your triggers and choose your next move with intention. I also mention the Positive Parenting Summit coming on 15 May 2027, focused on tools for real-life parenting challenges. If this helps, subscribe, share the episode, and leave a review so more people can find support with difficult conversations and conflict resolution.
Transparent Communication Builds Credibility Before You Need It
18 sept. 2026
00:42:31
Trust is harder than ever to win, and easier than ever to lose. We sit down with Bradley Harris, a boutique strategic advisor with years in boardrooms and high-stakes environments, to break down what trust actually looks like in real communication, not theory. When media channels are fragmented and people are tired of excuses, we argue for a simple standard: tell the truth, be transparent, and take accountability without hiding behind fluffy language.
From stakeholder engagement to crisis communication, Bradley explains why consistent updates matter even when you don’t have much to say. A steady cadence reduces fear, slows rumours, and helps customers, employees, and the public feel grounded. We also explore how alignment really happens: getting clear on mission and vision, shaping positioning and messaging, and making sure everyone is “singing from the same hymnal” while still respecting different audiences.
We go deep on the skill that quietly powers all of it: observation. Bradley shares the advice “be the dirt”, learn every crack and crevice before you speak, and why it’s perfectly credible to say “I’m not sure, I’ll look into it.” We wrap with practical ways to practise better communication every day, including volunteering for real reps, being direct, and closing the loop so nothing dangles.
If you want clearer internal communications, stronger public relations, and more trust with stakeholders, press play. Subscribe, share this with a colleague who leads through messages, and leave a review with the one communication habit you’re working on next.
You Cannot Control Others But You Can Control Your Response
11 sept. 2026
00:23:25
The news can make your chest feel heavy in seconds. One brutal headline, one angry debate, one more “nothing I do will matter” thought and suddenly you’re stuck in helplessness. We wanted to sit with that feeling and ask a simple, uncomfortable question: do we actually have choice when the world feels out of control?
We start with climate change because it’s a perfect mirror for modern overwhelm. Some people are certain it’s accelerating, others doubt it, and many sit somewhere in the middle feeling paralysed by scale. If bigger countries and bigger systems drive most emissions, what difference can your two-bedroom house make? We talk about the “enough trap”, why small actions still have value, and how shifting your language from “I can’t” to “What can I do?” changes your brain from shutdown to problem-solving.
From there we zoom into what we know from crisis and conflict: you can’t change other people, but you can influence them, and you always have a choice in how you respond. That’s easy to say and hard to do when your nervous system is in fight flight freeze. We unpack how to find a little space before you react, why respectful disagreement is a skill, and how tiny choices in communication can either validate someone or quietly devalue them.
We also bring in Viktor Frankl and Man’s Search for Meaning, testing his claim that the last human freedom is choosing your attitude. Using E + R = O (event + reaction = outcome), we connect philosophy to real life, from everyday frustration to moments of crisis, and share a negotiation story that captures what control really looks like.
If this conversation helps, subscribe, share it with someone who feels overwhelmed, and leave a review so more people can find it. What’s one “What can I do?” step you’re choosing today?
“You’re nice to us.” That’s what the kids said when Sally Michaels asked why they could learn in her setting but not in school, and it’s the line that frames everything we explore here. Sally runs Blue Squid, a non-school alternative provision supporting young people aged 9 to 16 who are struggling with school attendance, especially neurodivergent teenagers who feel crushed by rigid rules, sensory stress, and constant pressure to perform.
We get into what changed after COVID and why so many schools drifted toward high control when the system demanded quick academic catch-up. Sally shares what she sees behind the scenes: bright students with huge aspirations who have lost confidence, families who feel dismissed with “they’re fine in school,” and teens who hold it together all day then unravel at home. We also talk about what flexibility can look like in real life, including realistic GCSE pathways, spreading exams over time, and building a bespoke plan that reduces harm while keeping doors open.
You’ll hear clear explanations of PDA (pathological demand avoidance or pervasive drive for autonomy), why everyday demands can trigger fight or flight, and why neurodivergence can overlap with trauma responses. Sally breaks down an easy brain-state model (executive, emotional, survival) and we spend time on a topic that doesn’t get enough airtime: shame, how it grows, and how it can drive anxiety, self-harm, and crisis if nobody names it.
If you’re parenting a teenager who is struggling with school, or you’re recognising yourself in these patterns, you’re not alone. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more families can find the support and language to move forward.
The moment you realise you need to say “Mum, Dad, we need to talk” can hit like a wave. Not because you don’t love them, but because the topics are loaded: driving safety, memory changes, money worries, and the painful question of whether they can still live independently. I’m sharing a solo, honest walk-through of how I’ve handled these conversations in my own family and what I’ve learned from working with older adults, where dignity matters just as much as safety.
We start with driving because it is often an older person’s lifeline and identity. I explain why “You need to stop” usually triggers resistance, and how adult-to-adult communication helps you stay connected. You’ll hear a practical way to open tough conversations from their perspective, keep the focus on the issue rather than the person, and use calm observational language that reduces conflict. We also get into memory and possible dementia, including how to describe what you’re noticing without blame or labels, so you’re more likely to get a response instead of a defensive reaction.
We then tackle the messy, real-world stuff families whisper about: uncomfortable language, generational belief clashes, technology fear, online banking scams, and money decisions that can put older parents at risk. Finally, we talk about you, because caregiving stress is chuffing hard, and support matters. If this resonates, subscribe, share with someone in the sandwich generation, and leave a review so more people can find practical help when they need it most.
Death admin is one of those tasks that feels “optional” right up until the day it becomes urgent. We sit down with Caro from Your Final Matters to talk about the reality facing the sandwich generation: juggling work, kids, and ageing parents while trying to avoid conversations about funerals, wills, powers of attorney, and what happens if someone loses capacity.
Caro shares a practical, compassionate approach to end-of-life planning and estate planning that starts with trust, not paperwork. We unpack the beliefs that make families shut down, like “talking about death brings it closer” or “my kids will sort it out,” and why anger is often a cover for fear, loss, and the need for control. If you have ever tried to raise these topics with a parent or partner and hit a wall, you will recognise the patterns and learn ways to ease the pressure.
We also get concrete about the big protectors: power of attorney in the UK and the real “cost of doing nothing,” plus digital legacy planning. Passwords, online banking, and hidden accounts can trap money and create chaos for executors, which is why Caro argues for a simple system and even the idea of a digital executor. You will also hear how her Sunflower Stories project uses a sunflower as a gentle prompt to spark one hard conversation and one small action, without the dread.
If this resonates, share it with someone who keeps saying “we’ll deal with it later,” and then take one step today. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what is the first document or conversation you want to tackle?
From Anticipatory Grief To Sudden Loss And Healing Tools
14 août 2026
00:39:52
One phone call can split your life into a before and after and grief rarely stops at just one loss. I’m joined by Lisa Archer from Holistic Life Coaching, who shares her deeply personal story of receiving a brain cancer diagnosis for her dad while living thousands of miles away in the UK, then facing the jolt of sudden loss soon after. We talk candidly about the difference between anticipatory grief and unexpected death, and why your coping style can change from one bereavement to the next without you doing anything “wrong.”
Lisa also opens up about the hidden weight so many people carry: managing everyone else’s emotions while your own grief sits in the background. We get practical about grief literacy and support, including what not to say (“I know exactly how you feel”), why ghosting someone is so painful, and how to show up in a way that keeps the focus on the person who is grieving. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by other people’s reactions at the worst moment of your life, you’ll feel seen here.
We then move into healing tools that are both grounded and human: therapy and bereavement counselling, guided meditation, movement, mindset without toxic positivity, and a simple gratitude practice to stop the mind from spiralling. Lisa shares how those same tools supported her through early breast cancer detection and a double mastectomy decision, plus why boundaries and environment matter when your energy is limited. Finally, we explore identity after loss including ambiguous grief from retirement, relationship change, and major life transitions, with a clear starting point: reconnect with your core values and ask yourself, “What do I love?” If this conversation helps, please subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find support.
You can spend decades thinking you are disorganised, too intense, too sensitive, or simply “not trying hard enough” and still look like you have it together. Then one ADHD assessment lands, and suddenly your whole timeline rearranges itself. I’m Nicky, and I’m joined by therapist Rachel Young for a candid, sometimes emotional conversation about being assessed for combined ADHD in midlife, and what it’s like to finally have language for patterns we’ve carried since childhood.
We dig into why the word “diagnosis” can feel uncomfortable, and why we prefer thinking about neurodiversity as a culture the world often fails to accommodate. We talk about masking, high achievement, and the exhausting gap between what people see and what’s happening underneath. If you’ve ever pushed harder and harder, only to crash the moment you stop, you’ll recognise the cycle. We also get practical about executive function and coping tools: time blindness, overplanning to compensate, missing things even with a colour-coded diary, and the very real shame that can follow.
You’ll hear how ADHD can show up differently in women, how childhood experiences shape adult self-talk, and why perimenopause and menopause can make old coping strategies stop working. We also touch on friendships, the pressure to “do relationships right”, and the relief of finding people who understand that silence does not equal lack of care. We end with the most important takeaway: shifting the inner voice from criticism to compassion, and building support that fits your brain.
If this resonates, share it with someone who needs kinder explanations for their life, then subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what part of ADHD do you wish people understood better?
Your dog is not ignoring you, they are choosing what feels most meaningful in the moment. That one idea reshapes everything, from recall training to the way we speak to the people we love. We sit down with Sam (Sameaysam.com), a relationship-first dog professional who can walk dozens of dogs off leash, and we dig into what actually makes that possible when the forest is full of better distractions than us.
We talk about the hidden communication gap between owners and dogs and why “more training” can sometimes be more ego than help. Sam shares how moving to Quebec without the language forced him to become a sharper observer, then how that same observation shows up in dog behaviour, reactivity, and what people call aggression. The thread running through it all is conscious presence: paying attention to patterns, responding instead of reacting, and choosing connection when control is tempting.
The conversation gets personal too: gratitude, forgiveness, and how meditation (including a 10-day Vipassana) can reveal the mind’s looping stories so we can finally break them. We also cover practical life design, like changing your environment, choosing your circle, and using supportive tools like sound socialization resources. Sam also shares where to find free gifts and a community where you can ask questions beyond dogs.
If you want better dog behaviour, calmer walks, and stronger relationships at home, press play, then subscribe, share with a friend, and leave us a five-star review. What’s one pattern you want to change this week?
for more about Sam visit his website www.samaysam.com
Someone tells you, “I can’t do this anymore,” and suddenly every sentence you’ve ever known disappears. That freeze is normal, but it’s also the moment where a few simple words and a steady presence can change the direction of a life.
We’re sharing what I’ve been teaching across the UK from my work in hostage and crisis negotiation, sparked by a question from GP practice managers after a young person threatened suicide in a surgery. We talk plainly about why you should not be afraid to say the word suicide, how direct questions can create a safer space, and what to keep in mind about risk, support, and your own safety. I also point to the wider ecosystem of good practice around crisis communication, including work aligned with Shout, the Samaritans, and Professor Liz Stokoe’s focus on how language shapes outcomes.
Then we break down a framework you can actually remember under stress: OARS from motivational interviewing. We cover Open questions that invite more than yes or no, the TED prompts (Tell me, Explain to me, Describe to me), Affirmations and validation that avoid cliché reassurance, Reflective listening that mirrors back what you see and hear, and Summaries that prevent misunderstandings. We also add one often-missed skill in suicide prevention and mental health support: silence, used with care, to communicate “I’m here” without trying to fix everything.
If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with someone who supports others, and leave a review so more people can find these suicide intervention and de-escalation skills when they need them most.
Your teenager used to want to do everything with you and now they would rather sleep, scroll, or stay in their room and somehow the summer holidays make that shift feel even louder. I talk honestly about the guilt, the internal questions, and the sheer exhaustion that can come with parenting teenagers when routines vanish and the push for independence ramps up.
We look at the summer from both sides: what is happening for us as parents and carers, and what may be happening for young people who feel bored, socially disconnected, or under pressure from school, exams, and expectations. I share what I learned from watching my own teen change over time, and why “getting them involved” can sometimes be more about our needs than theirs. We also explore what teens may actually need in this season: rest, a bit of routine, purpose, and space to grow.
Then I get practical with communication tools you can use today. I walk through “listen before you solve,” asking non-conflict questions like “Tell me more about that,” getting curious instead of reacting, and choosing your battles wisely. We also cover emotional regulation, the 90-second rule, walking away to prevent escalation, and using the power of “because” to explain boundaries around screen time and family expectations in a way that feels more logical and fair.
If you want a calmer, more connected summer with your teenager, hit play, share this with another parent who needs it, and subscribe so you do not miss the next tips. If it helps, please leave a review and tell me: what is the hardest part of summer holidays in your house?
Teenagers can go from cuddles to closed doors so fast it feels personal, and that’s where many parent-teen conversations start to break down. We dig into what’s really happening during adolescent brain development, why emotions run hotter than logic, and why fitting in can suddenly matter more than our opinion. Along the way, I share the book that helped me make sense of it all, “Blame My Brain,” plus the hard-earned reminder that most of us are doing better than we think, even when it feels messy.
I also bring in skills from my background as a hostage and crisis negotiator, because the same foundations work at home: listening without fixing, being present, and using reflective language to show you understand their world before you push your agenda. We talk about how easily we attach meaning to teen pushback, disrespect, authority, “they’re doing this on purpose” and how that story can trigger a reaction that turns a small moment into a full-blown argument.
Then we get practical. You’ll hear a simple emotional regulation tool called the 90-second rule, how Batari’s box explains escalating conflict, and why “walking away” can be a parenting strategy rather than avoidance. We also cover calm follow-up conversations, setting boundaries that separate feelings from behaviour, and the question many parents forget to ask: what are you doing to look after you?
If you want more support, we mention upcoming community options like a positive parenting summit and a free webinar on surviving the summer holidays. Subscribe, share this with a parent who needs it, and leave a review or a comment with the one trigger you want to handle better next time.
The World Cup, The In-Laws, And The Big Pause Button
26 juin 2026
00:12:34
There are parts of this podcast where the sound dips a little, this is due to a poor signal whilst recording.
Holidays put relationships under a microscope. The same people you adore can become the people you clash with fastest, especially when you’re together 24-7, routines disappear, and everyone brings different needs into the same space. From a real family break with partners, mums, in-laws, pets, and all the logistics that come with them, we talk honestly about why tension shows up and how to stop it from stealing your rest.
We get practical with five tools for better communication on family holidays: noticing how you speak to the people you trust most, avoiding the trap of “competitive tiredness”, and using a surprisingly powerful habit from child psychology that works for adults too: 15 minutes of focused time where you simply listen and do what the other person wants. If you want fewer arguments and more connection, this is a low effort, high impact place to start.
We also go deeper on boundaries, compromise, and consequences. Before you jump into a difficult conversation, ask what you actually need, what outcome you want, and whether you need to say it right now. Then we introduce the “big pause button” to help you regulate emotion, take a breath, and choose a response rather than a reaction. If you’re searching for conflict resolution tips, emotional regulation strategies, and a healthier way to handle family dynamics on vacation, this one will meet you where you are.
If it helps, subscribe, share it with someone who’s heading into a family break, and leave a review so more people can find these tools.
In this episode of Let's Talk About, I sit down with Tom Emery, founder of HEX Talent and Development, to explore authenticity, trust, emotional self-awareness, and the conversations many of us avoid.
Tom shares his personal journey of growing up queer, hiding parts of himself from the world, and the impact that authenticity has on our confidence, relationships, and leadership. Together, we discuss how understanding our genetics, adaptations, behaviours, and stress responses can help us navigate conflict more effectively and communicate with greater empathy.
We also explore why psychological safety matters, how trust becomes the foundation of high-performing teams, and why moving away from "right versus wrong" thinking can transform both personal and professional relationships.
During the conversation, Tom introduces his practical OI3C feedback framework:
A simple but powerful approach that makes feedback, boundaries, and difficult conversations feel safer and more productive.
In this episode we discuss:
• Growing up queer, hiding in the shadows, and the cost of not being yourself • Understanding genetics, adaptations, behaviours, and the stress responses that drive silence and avoidance • Finding joy, confidence, and fulfilment in senior leadership by taking ego less seriously • Moving away from right and wrong thinking to protect relationships and psychological safety • Building trust as the bedrock of effective teams and honest disagreement • Using the OI3C framework to give feedback without judgement • Having smaller conversations earlier to avoid the big "we need to talk" moment • Setting boundaries with time contracts and ending conversations when staying longer cannot help • Recognising triggers and pausing before replying, particularly in written communication • Tom's book People People, the CHRO Impact Framework, and free resources available through HEX
Your teenager didn’t wake up one morning and decide to become impossible. The shift can feel sudden, but there are real reasons behind the door-slamming, the sarcasm, the “that’s not fair”, and the long stretches of silence from their room. We bring a hostage and crisis negotiator’s lens to one of the most personal challenges there is: negotiating with teenagers while keeping your relationship intact.
We talk through what’s changing in the teen brain, why the prefrontal cortex being under construction affects decision-making and risk, and why social status with friends can outweigh any perfect argument you make at home. From there, we get practical. We break down the “red zone” and how to spot it in them and in us, why reacting usually makes everything worse, and how a simple pause can stop a small disagreement from becoming a blow-up. You’ll hear specific communication tools like reflecting back, labelling emotions without sounding patronising, and asking open questions that invite a real answer instead of a shutdown.
We also cover boundaries and curfews, screen time, and the non-negotiables that protect safety, plus why timing matters: boundaries land best in calm moments, not mid-conflict. And when things do go wrong, we explain repair conversations, apologising when we mess up, and how trust grows when we create a safe space for tough topics. One idea to hold onto: when your teenager wants to talk, drop what you can and be there, because that window might be brief.
Subscribe for more straight-talking tools on hard conversations, share this with a parent who feels alone, and leave a review so more families can find support.
Silence can feel polite, but it can also be lethal. We sit down with Heather Rose and talk about the subjects many families tiptoe around: bullying, suicide, miscarriage, and the messy reality of living with trauma while still needing to show up for the people you love.
Heather shares her personal story with a rare mix of honesty and practicality, from being bullied as a teen to surviving a suicide attempt, and from enduring repeated pregnancy loss to rebuilding her self-worth. We explore why simply saying the word “suicide” matters, why the question “Are you OK?” can open a life-saving door, and how creating a safe space to talk reduces shame instead of “putting ideas in someone’s head.” If you care about mental health, suicide prevention, PTSD, or supporting teenagers through tough emotions, you’ll find grounded insight here.
We also dig into parenting and advocacy for neurodivergent young people. Heather explains the long fight to secure ADHD and autism support for her son Isaac, what happened when schools misunderstood his needs, and the practical tools that helped him regulate emotions and regain confidence: mindfulness, affirmations, and journaling. That journey led to resources for other families and to Heather’s podcast, The Truth After Baby Loss, where she opens up conversations about grief, identity, partner dynamics, and the lack of support many people face after miscarriage.
You can find out more about Heather at www.heatherrose.uk
If this resonates, share the episode with someone who needs a safer way to start a hard conversation, and please subscribe and leave a review so more listeners can find it.
Grief is not one feeling, it is a total rewrite of your life, your body, and your relationships. We’re joined by Clare, someone who has lived through multiple devastating losses, including the sudden death of her mum from rare gallbladder cancer and the death of her seven-year-old daughter Annaliese after sepsis was not picked up in time. Clare speaks with honesty about shock, anger, brain fog that feels like injury, and the brutal “what could I have done differently?” loop that often returns around anniversaries.
We also talk about what happens inside a partnership when two people grieve in completely different ways. Clare and Matt’s story is a grounded look at marriage after bereavement: learning acceptance, dropping expectations, and finding other safe people when your partner cannot “hold” you in the way you hoped. Clare explains what it means to live alongside grief, how memory can feel warming as well as crushing, and why saying a loved one’s name matters more than most people realise.
If you’ve ever searched for grief support, help for bereaved parents, or how to support someone after a death, you’ll come away with practical ideas that actually land: specific check-ins, small gestures, showing up consistently, and making space for the hard days. Clare also shares the community she’s found through The Compassionate Friends and her book “And Always Annaliese,” written for both bereaved parents and the people trying to care for them.
Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more listeners can find these conversations, and tell us in the comments: what kind of support helped you most when grief hit?
You can visit Clare's website - www.andalwaysannaliese.com and you can find Compassionate Friends here - https://www.tcf.org.uk
The fastest way to ruin a difficult conversation is to believe you can control the other person. We talk through what actually happens in the mind and body when stress hits, and why grief, loss, change, and fear can flip us from logical thinking into a reactive emotional state in seconds.
Drawing on experience as a hostage and crisis negotiator, we share three practical lessons that show up everywhere: crisis is part of life and often comes with real or perceived loss; loneliness can creep in even when you are not alone, especially in parenting and leadership; and everyone carries a deeper story under the “safe” small talk. Once you see those dynamics, conflict feels less personal and more predictable, which makes it easier to handle with care.
We also unpack a tool you can use immediately for emotional regulation and conflict management: noticing your physical trigger signs, then applying the 90-second rule to create space between stimulus and response. Sometimes the smartest move is a clean pause, a walk away, or a simple “I’m going to put the kettle on” break so you can come back with your best self, not your most defensive self.
If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with someone who is navigating a hard conversation, and leave a review so more people can find these practical crisis communication skills. What physical sign tells you you’re about to react?
An Undercover Cop’s Breaking Point And The Road Back
15 mai 2026
00:47:18
One morning can split your life in two. Todd joined me to tell the story he carried for years: finding his girlfriend Karen after she died by suicide on New Year’s Day, and the shock that followed him into everything that came next. What he shares is confronting at times, but it’s also deeply human and, for many listeners, reassuring in the most unexpected way: the feelings you’re struggling to name often have a reason.
We talk about how grief and trauma can push you toward avoidance that looks like “coping” from the outside. Todd walks us through the months after the loss, the drinking that crept earlier into the day, and the high-risk choices that made him feel less, even as they made his world more dangerous. When he moved into undercover police work, the new identity offered escape and adrenaline, but it also delayed the pain and reinforced a fight-first mindset that’s hard to switch off. If you’ve ever wondered why some people seem fine for years and then suddenly unravel, this conversation lays out that slow build with brutal clarity.
Then we turn toward recovery and first responder mental health in practical terms: leaving shift work, getting sleep and nutrition back to basics, and learning through a sleep specialist that a brain can stay in fight-or-flight all night even with “good” hours in bed. We also dig into why telling the truth and writing his book helped Todd and why it created a safe space for others to finally speak. If any part of this resonates, share it with someone who needs it, subscribe for more conversations like this, and leave a review so more people can find the support they’ve been missing.
The most painful part of grief can be what happens after the condolences stop. When everyone returns to their routines, the person who lost someone is left with the quiet, the calendar, and the dates that suddenly feel impossible.
I’m joined by Kelly Edmondson, a trauma ICU nurse from Ohio who spent decades caring for people in crisis, until she became the one who needed care. After her son Darius, who lived with epilepsy, died unexpectedly in his sleep, Kelly saw how loud the silence can be in the weeks and months after the funeral. She explains why people avoid grief conversations, why “I don’t want to remind them” is a myth, and how a simple message can carry real weight: “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here.”
We also dig into practical grief support that actually helps, especially around anniversaries of death, birthdays, Mother’s Day and the holidays. Kelly shares how Timely Presence delivers personalized memorial gifts on the days research shows are most difficult, and why light-filled items like sun catchers and candles can help someone feel seen without trying to fix the unfixable. For anyone navigating bereavement, we talk about the physiological impact of loss and concrete steps like sleep, small high-protein meals, fresh air, sunlight and new rituals that gently reframe triggering dates.
If you know someone who’s grieving, or you’re trying to find your way forward after loss, listen, share it with a friend, and subscribe so you don’t miss the next conversation. If it resonates, please leave a review and tell us what supportive phrase you wish you’d heard most.
A Crisis Negotiator’s Guide To Talking About Grief
01 mai 2026
00:28:53
Grief can make you feel like the world should stop, yet everything keeps moving and you’re left trying to keep up. I’m on my own for this one, speaking as a former hostage and crisis negotiator who’s heard hundreds of stories from people in crisis and as a human being who has also had to carry loss. I share three hard lessons that shaped my work and my life: we will all face crisis at some stage, many crises centre on loss, and loneliness can quietly become one of the biggest threats to our wellbeing.
I talk through my own experiences of bereavement, including losing my friend Jane to cancer and the shock of grieving someone who should have had decades ahead of her. Then I open up about losing my dad in November 2022 and the unexpected part that followed: searching for his “essence” in places I thought I’d feel him, and the relief when I finally did. Alongside the emotion, I touch on the practical realities of death, from probate to navigating online systems while you’re still in shock.
To make sense of how grief can swing and surprise you, I walk through the Kubler-Ross grief cycle and why it helped me name what was happening, even when it didn’t show up in a neat order. We also get practical about communication skills for grief and bereavement: how to open up the conversation, why saying their name matters, and why listening without fixing is often the kindest support you can offer.
If this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who might need it, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations. What’s one thing you wish others understood about your grief?
Why Boys Don’t Ask For Help And How Schools Can Change That
24 avr. 2026
00:37:31
Every suicide callout Claire attended as a police officer was male and that pattern haunted her long after the blue lights switched off. Claire Dunn joined Essex Police at 20, spent 18 years responding to crisis, and was medically retired with PTSD in 2016. She retrained, stepped into the NHS, and quickly hit a new shock: in school-based mental health services, boys were barely being referred, even though boys and girls struggle at similar rates. If boys aren’t coming through the door, what happens before they reach crisis point?
We dig into the turning points that pushed Claire from awareness into action, including two suicides close to home in 2023 and the wider reality that suicide is a leading cause of death for men under 50. Claire shares what she learned from co-producing solutions with boys aged 12 to 15, what they said about stigma, masculinity, peer pressure, and the fear of being seen, plus why privacy in schools matters more than most adults realise. We also talk about how distress can show up as anger and “challenging behaviour”, and why educators and services need to read those signals differently if we want earlier support and better outcomes.
You’ll hear the practical side too: mental health literacy, simple language, discreet self-referral routes like QR codes, and clearer pathways so boys can access early intervention before they escalate into self-harm or suicidal ideation and miss preventive thresholds. Claire also explains her current doctorate work using participatory action research to develop gender-informed interventions for adolescent boys across UK schools.
If you care about boys’ mental health, suicide prevention, school wellbeing, or how to have difficult conversations before it’s too late, hit subscribe, share this with a teacher or parent, and leave a review with the one change you want schools to make.
Suicide is still taking too many men, and the scariest part is how often it happens in silence. I sit down with Aldo Kane, former Royal Marines commando and one of the world’s go-to safety and expedition leads for extreme TV and film, to talk about what he’s learned from decades in high-risk, high-consequence environments and from losing close friends to suicide.
We dig into why men can struggle to communicate pain, how “unwritten rules” about being a man can turn stress into isolation, and why psychological safety changes everything. Aldo shares a grounded framework for resilience that isn’t motivational fluff: sleep, movement, nutrition, daylight, and social connection. He also explains why resilience is not fixed, how doing hard things builds real coping capacity, and why a simple walk side-by-side can unlock conversations that never happen face-to-face.
We also go deeper on identity and values, especially the crash that can come after leaving the military or any role that once gave you purpose. Aldo breaks down the Royal Marines commando spirit values and how they still guide him through change, grief, and uncertainty. Finally, we talk about asking for help early, including Aldo’s decision to seek therapy proactively after Iraq, and what he’s doing to raise two young boys who can name emotions and talk openly.
If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with someone you care about, and leave a review so more people searching for men’s mental health and suicide prevention can find it. What’s one small “walk and talk” check-in you could do this week?
How Sharing Our Stories Turns Grief Into Connection With John Kammer and Nicky Perfect
20 mars 2026
00:31:02
This episode is part of Podcasthon 2026, a global podcast movement highlighting the work of charities around the world. For this special release on Friday 20 March, we are proud to support SHOUT, the UK’s free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging service for anyone struggling to cope.
Grief can make the world feel smaller, quieter, and strangely far away from who we used to be.
In this deeply honest conversation, John Kammer joins Nicky Perfect to share how repeated loss shattered his illusion of invincibility and pushed him into years of numbing inside the relentless pace of the hospitality industry. Sobriety eventually opened the door to something different — an active, deliberate approach to healing.
The conversation moves from raw guilt and unspoken words to an unexpected bridge: building an ethical, text-based AI designed to help people express what feels stuck when the room is dark and the heart is loud.
Together we explore why the familiar “stages of grief” often miss the mark, and instead focus on Worden’s Four Tasks of Mourning: • accepting the loss • processing the pain • adjusting to life without the person physically present • creating an enduring connection that allows us to move forward without erasing love.
John explains how structured prompts can help organise scattered thoughts, make therapy sessions more effective, and turn late-night spirals into clear reflections you can take to a professional.
We also step into difficult territory — men and vulnerability, the way strength is often confused with silence, and why caring for others starts with acknowledging what we ourselves are afraid to feel.
From psychodrama tools such as letter writing and the empty chair, to the thoughtful design choices behind his AI project, the conversation stays grounded in dignity. No voices. No avatars. No pretending anyone comes back. Just language that gives shape to the presence we already carry.
If you’ve ever wanted a simple way to support someone who is grieving, borrow this question:
As part of Podcasthon, this episode also shines a light on SHOUT, whose volunteers support people across the UK through text conversations during moments of crisis. Their work reminds us how powerful a few words — and a listening presence — can be.
🎧 Listen now. 💬 Share with someone who may need it. ⭐ Leave a review to help more people find these conversations.
And remember — sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer someone is simply the space to speak.
A quiet smile can hide a collapsing world. Michele D’Souza joins us to share the story of her brother Nick and the hard truth many of us avoid: suicidal distress often looks like recovery on the surface. We walk through the uncertainty that followed his death, the relentless guilt of being the last to see him alive, and how a decade of grief reshaped Michele’s life and work.
From there, we shift into what actually helps. Michele breaks down trauma-informed leadership with practical clarity: recognize dysregulation, build psychological safety, and respond with empathy rather than pressure. We talk about the frontline—police, nurses, paramedics, social care—where exposure to trauma is routine and burnout is accelerating. You’ll hear why “call the helpline” isn’t enough when someone’s nervous system is overloaded, and how simple, human actions like debriefs, warm handoffs, and small one percent interventions can move a person from freeze to fight.
We also tackle the silent crisis in construction, where macho norms and unforgiving timelines collide with grief, addiction, and isolation. Michele explains why mental health first aid should be as common as fire safety, how to spot meaningful shifts in behaviour, and why a bowl of fruit isn’t a wellness strategy. Her mission, through Puzzle Peace Coaching, is simple and profound: teach people to listen, to sit with discomfort, and to act in small, specific ways that create real safety.
If you’ve lost someone to suicide, worry about a colleague, or lead a team under pressure, this conversation offers tools you can use today. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more people find these insights. Your one percent might save a life.
A hard truth unlocked everything for us: the second time you ask “Are you really okay?” is when the real answer shows up. Susie shares how she moved from being sectioned as a teenager to building a life she once thought was out of reach—work promotion, supportive love, and plans for a youth‑focused suicide prevention project.
Together we break down practical tools for supporting someone in crisis: ask twice, speak plainly about suicide, and be ready for an honest “yes” without recoiling. You’ll hear why direct language does not plant the idea, how to respond in the moment, and what to avoid when your own fear tries to take the mic.
We also draw a clear line between self‑harm and suicidal intent, cutting through common myths that can add panic and shame. Susie explains how readiness shapes recovery more than any single therapy, and why patience and presence matter more than pushing. Her strategy for resilience is deceptively simple: isolate bad moments so they don’t devour the day, notice small wins, and choose the next doable step. From the “ask twice” approach to reflective language that keeps the focus on the person in pain, the conversation turns evidence and lived experience into practical, compassionate action.
Looking ahead, Susie sketches a stigma‑free space for young people that blends training, peer support, and open conversation about suicide. The aim isn’t to make impossible promises; it’s to make the hardest talk feel speakable. If you want concrete guidance on what to say, what not to say, and how to stand steady beside someone you love, this is for you. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more people find the skills—and the hope—to get through their darkest moments.
To get in touch with Susie , send her a message on Facebook.
A gentle hello can change the course of a life. That’s the heart of our conversation with therapist Rachel Young, who shares how simple, human connection can interrupt a suicidal spiral without perfect words or clinical expertise. We walk through what real pain often looks like from the inside, why people describe themselves as a burden, and how a sudden “lightness” can appear after someone decides to die. Understanding these signals helps us respond with clarity, compassion, and courage.
We get practical fast. Rachel offers short, direct phrases that open doors: Are you thinking about suicide? What are your plans right now? Tell me about that. We talk about reflective listening, allowing silence, and mirroring someone’s words so they feel heard rather than fixed. You’ll learn why asking about suicide doesn’t plant ideas, how presence reduces isolation, and how everyday gestures—sitting beside someone, making tea, saying hello on the street—can create the small moments of light that keep a person here.
Parents and carers of teens will find a focused section on adolescent risk. We cover how a developing brain affects impulse control and foresight, what behaviour changes to look for, and why early check-ins matter. We also outline a practical safety plan you can build together: triggers, coping steps, supportive contacts, and one reason to stay. Plus, Rachel shares how to reach her directly for therapy and guidance.
If this topic touches your world, this conversation gives you words, posture, and a plan. Subscribe for more thoughtful guides to tough conversations, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help others find these tools. Your presence can be the difference—start with hello.
A football terrace nickname, TV attention, and nights out might look like belonging—but Lee’s story reveals what happens when external validation drowns out a silent, aching inside. From childhood loneliness to alcohol dependence, from extreme weight loss to a mental civil war, he takes us through the moments that pushed him to the edge—and the brutal aftermath that followed when he survived a suicide attempt. The turning point wasn’t a slogan; it was his mum’s face at the end of the ICU bed and the decision to build a life worth staying for.
We walk through the hard parts with clarity: shame, self-pity, and the lies addiction tells. Then we get practical. Lee shares the communication tools that changed everything: mind your tone to lower defenses, use names to make care personal, and ask the deceptively simple question, “If you did know, what would it be?” We explore how Andy’s Man Club gave him safe space and why Monday-to-Monday support leaves dangerous gaps. That insight sparked the Modern Men Movement—peer-led support, quick resources, wellness assessments, and fast paths to counseling—to help men move from crisis to connection.
You’ll hear how to spot warning signs without shaming, how to invite conversation without pressure, and how small, consistent check-ins beat grand gestures. We talk hope without pretending it’s easy: vigilance over complacency, listening over lecturing, and swapping external applause for internal care. If you or a loved one feels stuck, this conversation offers real tools, real stories, and a real way forward. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us which tool you’ll try first. Your words might be the bridge someone else needs.
A quiet shift in someone’s routine can be the loudest alarm. We sit down with retired detective and crisis negotiator Nicky Hurdley to unpack how frontline negotiation skills translate into everyday conversations when a friend, teen, colleague, or partner might be suicidal. Instead of scripts or clichés, we focus on the human core: notice subtle changes, echo the exact words you hear, validate feelings without rushing to fix, and give time in low-pressure spaces like side-by-side walks.
Nicky Hurdley shares practical ways to spot “throwaway” lines—those casual phrases that carry heavy meaning—and how to circle back without judgment. We explore why pep talks can backfire and how validation creates immediate relief. We dive into the Kubler Ross grief model as a living map for crisis: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Emotions don’t follow a neat order, and they loop; understanding that helps you avoid solving the wrong problem. You’ll learn how to slow a heated moment, use silence as a tool, and ask calm, direct safety questions that don’t “put ideas” in anyone’s head.
We also get tactical: how to create time when life is busy, why side-by-side conversations are less threatening than face-to-face, and how to co-create small next steps—from booking a GP to texting a trusted friend—without taking control away. Above all, we anchor on two principles that change outcomes: kindness and respect. They signal dignity, reduce loneliness, and make it easier for someone to tell the truth.
If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with someone who needs practical language, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. Your words might be the reason another listener finds the courage to start a lifesaving talk.
From Hostage Negotiation To Lifesaving Conversations
31 oct. 2025
00:27:53
What would you say if someone you love hinted they might not want to stay? We sit down with Sue Williams—former head of the Hostage and Kidnap Units at Scotland Yard—who brings 35 years of crisis negotiation to a question many of us fear: how do you talk about suicide with care, courage, and clarity?
Sue breaks down the essentials with a precision that feels human, not clinical. We explore how to prepare when time allows, from choosing a calm setting to mapping likely replies and gathering support contacts before you need them. You’ll learn the do’s—gentle I statements, open questions, reflective listening—and the vital don’ts that shatter trust, like minimising pain, rushing to fix, or saying I know how you feel. We unpack why meaning lives in how words are received, not what we intend, and how tone, pace, and authenticity can steady a conversation at the edge.
The heart of the episode is a vivid rooftop story at dawn: a man ready to jump, a negotiator keeping distance and focus, and a sunrise over London’s rooftops that opens a quiet doorway back to safety. It’s a reminder that presence often matters more than perfect phrasing, and that empathy—used to build real emotional connection—can shift someone from despair toward the next small step. We talk about scanning for triggers, reinforcing positive anchors, validating their reality without judgment, and treating trust like glass: once cracked, never quite the same.
If you’ve been looking for practical language, confidence to ask direct questions, and a way to be there without trying to fix everything, this conversation offers tools you can use today. Subscribe, share with someone who might need it, and leave a review telling us which insight you’ll keep at the ready for when it matters most.
In this episode, Nicky speaks with Danny Kett, a former police negotiator with 30 years of experience, 18 of those in hostage and crisis negotiation. Danny shares what crisis work taught him about conversations that matter most — especially when suicide is a concern.
They discuss myths that hold people back, including the fear that mentioning suicide puts the idea in someone’s head, and show how direct, honest language can actually open doors. Danny shares a powerful personal story of supporting a family member in crisis through text messages, explaining how matching pace and energy can keep connection alive.
Together, they explore how to create safe spaces, adapt to different communication styles (including neurodiversity), and use everyday negotiation skills to have the hardest conversations. Danny also shares insights from his new venture, which applies behavioural science to organisational challenges.
This conversation isn’t therapy or training — it’s practical lessons from experience. Honest, human tools you can use today to support the people you care about.
If you have been affected by anything in this podcast here are the numbers for you to contact.
📞 Samaritans — Call 116 123 any time, day or night. 📱 Shout — Text 85258 for free, confidential support in the UK. 📞 PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK — Call 0800 068 4141 if you’re under 35 and struggling, or worried about someone who is.
When Help Feels Like Pressure: One Voice, Safe Space, and Conversations That Save Lives
Host Nicky talks with former police officer and negotiator Damian about what really helps when someone is in crisis. They unpack the reality of suicide in the UK, why crowds and escalating responses can increase pressure, and how one trusted voice in a safe space can change a decision. This episode offers practical, compassionate steps for parents and carers—what to notice, how to open the conversation, and how to choose the right person to lead it. Clear, human guidance, not therapy or training—just experience you can use today.
Key takeaways
Suicide is under-discussed and under-resourced. In 2023, 7,055 people died by suicide in the UK—far more than homicides or road deaths.
Saying “suicide” does not plant the idea. Asking directly can bring relief and honesty.
Crowds increase pressure. Emergency responses (and onlookers) can unintentionally push a person toward a harmful decision.
De-pressurise the scene. Reduce noise, audience, and competing voices; create time and space.
Use one trusted voice. Agree a single lead person to speak; a quiet second person can support the lead.
Parents/carers: you may not be the right lead. Prioritise trust over role or ego; let the young person help choose who they talk to.
Environment matters. Pick the person’s safest, calmest place (often their room, or a side-by-side setting like a walk/drive).
Open gently, aim for clarity. Start with care (“We’re really worried about you”) and progress toward the heart of the matter.
Listen with curiosity. Go slow, don’t rush answers; reflect and reassure.
Leave your ego at the door. The conversation is about them, not our fear of “getting it wrong.”
Episode highlights (timestamps approximate)
00:00 — Introductions & purpose. Why talking about suicide matters.
01:53 — UK context. 7,055 suicides in 2023; why we need more open dialogue.
06:29 — Pivotal story. A high-rise incident shows how crowds and visible emergency response can increase a person’s felt pressure.
12:09 — The lesson. Decompress the scene: fewer people, more time, less noise.
15:14 — “One voice.” Choose a single trusted lead; a quiet second supports the lead.
21:28 — Parents & carers. Opening lines, managing fear/ego, creating safe space at home.
26:25 — Summary. Trust intuition, choose one voice, prioritise safety and connection.
28:20 — Closing reflection. Speaking openly reduces shame; we need a culture of kindness and support.
How to start the conversation
“I’m really worried about you, and I want to understand.”
“I’ve noticed [specific change]. How are you, really?”
“Are you thinking about suicide?” (Direct, calm, non-judgemental.)
“Thank you for telling me. I’m here. We can take this one step at a time.”
Resources & support (UK)
If you have been affected by anything in this podcast here are the numbers for you to contact.
📞 Samaritans — Call 116 123 any time, day or night. 📱 Shout — Text 85258 for free, confidential support in the UK. 📞 PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK — Call 0800 068 4141 if you’re under 35 and struggling, or worried about someone who is.
In this episode Nicky talk to Katey Martin, a police officer and head of counter-terrorism negotiation training in the UK, discussing her experiences and the importance of suicide prevention.
She highlights that 95% of their call-outs in London involve crisis situations. Katey emphasises the success of negotiators in saving lives through difficult conversations. She trained as a suicide first aid instructor and, with colleague Derek Carroll, rolled out this training nationally. Katey stresses the importance of using observational language, trusting gut feelings, and having open conversations about suicide. She also mentions the prevalence of suicide thoughts among young people and the need for better training and conversations to address this issue.
Katie explains the significance of using the word "suicide" openly and not shying away from it. She discusses the impact of language on conversations about suicide and the importance of using observational language.
Katey shares a story about a parent who used an emotional label to save their child's life, highlighting the power of words and advises parents to have conversations about suicide with their children and not to fear the topic.
If you have been affected by anything in this podcast here are the numbers for you to contact.
📞 Samaritans — Call 116 123 any time, day or night. 📱 Shout — Text 85258 for free, confidential support in the UK. 📞 PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK — Call 0800 068 4141 if you’re under 35 and struggling, or worried about someone who is.
In this episode Nicky explains how human emotions play a large part in how people respond to change.She goes through the Kubler Ross grief cycle and how this helps explain why we experience the emotions we do and how you can manage them.
Episode 92 - How to have difficult conversations at Christmas
15 déc. 2021
00:50:19
For many of us Christmas is a time to relax and have fun but for some of us it's a time we spend with people we don't really know or necessarily even get on with.It's also often a period filled with difficult conversations, emotion and breakup of many relationships.In this episode Nicky speaks to Janthea Brigden. Janthea owns a company called Nipperbout creating child friendly environments at events, hospitality and leisure.They discuss a whole host of topics to help you with your extended family, family and children this Christmas and give you some practical tips to help make life a little easier this ChristmasResources & support (UK)
Episode 91 - How to say what you really feel to your family
19 oct. 2021
00:11:25
In this episode Nicky looks at four areas to help you have those conversations you have been putting off.Emotions - why conversations with our families can often be driven by emotions and the impact of this.Consequences - what they are and why you should think about them before you have the conversation.Beliefs - both yours and the person who you are going to talk to and how they intertwine.How to introduce this conversation and how this will help keep the emotions down.Resources & support (UK)
Episode 90 - How to ask for a payrise or promotion
11 oct. 2021
00:17:43
In this track Nicky looks at two common questions she is asked. She shares the 4 P's;Purpose - what outcome do you want from this conversation and why is it so important to you.Practice - what you are going to say and how you are going today it.Permission - give yourself permission to ask.Perspective - look at the world from the other person's point of view. How will they view your request.Resources & support (UK)
Episode 87 - Conversations from the coffee shop Jo Berry
25 mars 2021
00:40:35
In this episode Nicky chats to Jo Berry. Jo's father, Sir Anthony Berry, was killed by an IRA bomb in 1984.In 2000 Jo met the man who had planted the bomb, Patrick Magee. This is her amazing story which touches on so many aspects of communication and being human. It's hard to describe this story so the best thing to do is listen as Jo tells it in her own words.Resources & support (UK)
In this track Nicky explains why she believes communication is such an important skill and yet one of the core functions of every day that gets forgotten about. When we speak to each other it's generally from an unconscious place and we don't think about the words we are saying or how we are approaching the conversation. When we become more conscious in our communication we can leave people feeling empowered, valued and validated.Resources & support (UK)
Episode 85 - How to have difficult conversations and feel heard
22 févr. 2021
00:14:33
In this episode Nicky looks at 5 steps you can take when having difficult conversations and help you to be heard.The last year and this most recent lockdown has been a challenge for everyone and sometimes this affects our relationships and our ability to communicate with others.Resources & support (UK)
Episode 84 - How to become more confident in your conversations
15 févr. 2021
00:10:27
In this episode Nicky gives you five tips to help you become more confident in your conversations. Perhaps you struggle to be heard in meetings or at home, or do you struggle to get your message across in meetings.Actions for you to take:1. Practice2. Listen to what other people say and then reflect back what you have heard.3. Quietening your inner dialogue4. Being present5. Make it about the other personResources & support (UK)
In this episode Nicky looks at how we can negotiate with our kids especially in during lockdown.She gives 3 tips; remember our conversation comes from our own point of view, being present, listening.She also shares the plane Please Listen by Leo BuscagliaResources & support (UK)
Episode 82 - How to have conversations with your family during lockdown
02 févr. 2021
00:11:33
As we enter the second month of this current lockdown, relationships are beginning to breakdown as people struggle with home schooling and working from home. Families have forgotten to make quality and fun time for each other as this way of life becomes the new normal. In this episode Nicky gives us four tips on how to communicate with our families during lockdown.Resources & support (UK)
Episode 81 - Part 5 of my mini series on Self Refelection
18 janv. 2021
00:07:24
Part 5 of this mini course where Nicky gets you to reflect on how you communicate. Listening is at the heart of building relationships, being fully present with someone with no judgement or trying to problem solve is incredibly powerful when it comes to building relationships and gaining trust. Without trust relationships fail, without listening and spending time with someone it's hard to build trust.Resources & support (UK)