Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Lets Simply Talk About Sex Relationships & Everything In Between

In this episode, Andrea explores one of the great paradoxes of love: why sexual desire fades even in relationships filled with affection, loyalty, and trust.

Love and desire play by completely different rules — love craves closeness, comfort, and safety, while desire thrives on distance, curiosity, and mystery.

And yet we expect one person to provide both.

Andrea breaks down how to reignite desire without swapping partners or adding pressure — by reintroducing imagination, autonomy, and play.

Sources

Mating in Captivity – Esther Perel

The State of Affairs – Esther Perel

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In this episode, Andrea explores vaginismus — a condition that affects many women and people with vaginas, but is often misunderstood or hidden behind silence and shame.

Because vaginismus isn’t a flaw — it’s a fear response.

And once the body feels safe again, pain can ease and pleasure can return.

If you want to see Andrea demonstrate the dilators - this episode is also on YouTube

Resources:

Come As You Are — Emily Nagoski, PhD

When Sex Hurts — Andrew Goldstein, Caroline Pukall & Irwin Goldstein

British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy (BASRT.org.uk)

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In this episode of Conversations We Need To Have, Andrea explores the deeply human experience of grief and bereavement.

While we often associate grief with death, loss can take many forms — the end of a relationship, retirement, illness, changes in health, financial difficulties, or even grieving something we never had in the first place. Drawing on two widely respected grief models, Andrea explains why grief is rarely predictable, why there is no "correct" way to grieve, and how understanding the grieving process can help us offer ourselves and others a little more compassion.

Because grief isn't something we get over — it's something we learn to carry.

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In this episode of Conversations We Need To Have, Andrea explores the complex and often misunderstood topic of chemsex — the use of certain drugs before or during sexual activity to enhance pleasure, connection, and intimacy. Rather than focusing on judgement, this episode looks at the psychological, social, and emotional factors that can make chemsex appealing, particularly within some LGBTQ+ communities. It also explores the risks, the realities of recovery, and why compassion is more effective than shame. Because understanding chemsex means understanding the human need for connection, belonging, and acceptance.

Resources Mentioned

Controlling Chemsex

COSRT (College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists)

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In this episode of Conversations We Need to Have, Andrea opens up an honest, much-needed conversation about masturbation during perimenopause, menopause, and beyond — a topic many people were never encouraged to talk about, yet one that can be genuinely life-enhancing.

If masturbation feels awkward, embarrassing, or “not for you,” this episode gently invites you to pause and stay curious. Because masturbation isn’t just normal during menopause — it can support physical health, emotional wellbeing, sleep, mood, vaginal health, and your relationship with your body.

Andrea explains why sex therapists often recommend regular masturbation during menopause, how hormonal changes affect arousal and sensation, and why pleasure is not indulgent — it’s biological, accessible self-care.

This is a shame-free, practical exploration of how reconnecting with your body can help you feel more comfortable, confident, and at home in yourself during a time of significant change.

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In this episode of Conversations We Need To Have, Andrea explores the world of kink and BDSM — what it is, what it isn’t, and why conversations about consent, communication, trust, safety, and pleasure matter so much. BDSM is often misunderstood in mainstream culture. Many people assume it’s about pain, abuse, or dysfunction — but healthy BDSM is built on something very different: informed consent, negotiated boundaries, emotional awareness, and mutual respect. 

This episode offers a broad, shame-free introduction to BDSM and kink practices, including common terminology, relationship dynamics, fetish culture, community spaces, aftercare, and the role communication plays in ethical kink. Whether BDSM is personally relevant to you or not, understanding it without stigma helps us have healthier conversations about sexuality, intimacy, identity, and human diversity.

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Episode Title: Fantasies: Why They’re Normal, Healthy, and Worth Talking About

In this episode, Andrea opens up a playful, honest conversation about sexual fantasies — the private thoughts that many of us have, but few of us talk about.

Fantasy isn’t a problem to solve — it’s a window into your erotic imagination.

Resource:

Come As You Are — Emily Nagoski, PhD

Tell Me What You Want — Justin Lehmiller, PhD

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In this episode, Andrea unpacks everything you need to know about STIs — from myths to management, prevention to empowerment.

Lots of resources - Use them!

Sexwise UK – Sexual health and STI testing

Brook.org.uk – Information & clinics

Terrence Higgins Trust – HIV & sexual wellbeing

NHS Sexual Health Services

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In this episode of Conversations We Need to Have, Andrea tackles a topic that makes a lot of people nervous — sexting. If the idea of typing something sexual makes your palms sweat and your brain go blank, you’re not broken — you’re normal. Sexting isn’t instinctive. It’s a learned skill, shaped by culture, confidence, and comfort, and like all sexual skills, it’s awkward before it’s hot. Andrea explores why sexting feels so intimidating, how fantasy and reality can coexist safely, and why there’s no “right” way to sext — only the way that works for you and the person on the other end of the phone.

Resource Mentioned: All the Fcking Mistakes* – Gigi Engle

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In this episode, Andrea explores the messy, meaningful, and ever-evolving nature of love — how it starts, how it changes, and why it’s as much a daily practice as it is a feeling.She unpacks the difference between chemistry and compatibility, the psychology of long-term attachment, and how self-love sets the foundation for every other kind of love we experience.

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In this episode of Conversations We Need to Have, Andrea explores something that quietly shapes our mood, confidence, and behaviour every single day — Automatic Negative Thoughts, or as she likes to call them, ANTS. These thoughts show up uninvited. They sound convincing. And when left unchecked, they can overwhelm our emotional “picnic” — leading to anxiety, low self-esteem, and patterns of self-sabotage.

Resources Mentioned:

Healing ADD - Daniel G Amen

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Episode Title: Premature Ejaculation: Understanding, Confidence, and Control

In this episode, Andrea breaks down what premature ejaculation really is — and why it’s far more common, treatable, and understandable than most people think.

Resources:

NHS: Premature Ejaculation Guidance

The New Male Sexuality — Bernie Zilbergeld

COSRT (UK) – Psychosexual therapy directory

Sexwise UK

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In this episode, Andrea tackles one of the most common but least discussed issues in sexual health — erectile dysfunction (ED).

It’s something that affects 1 in 5 men in the UK — and no, it’s not just older men. ED can be physical, psychological, or both — and often, it’s your body’s way of saying something needs attention.

Andrea breaks down what causes ED, how to get it checked, and why it’s rarely “just in your head.” She also explores how ED can open the door to deeper intimacy, better communication, and a redefinition of what sex can be.

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In this episode of Conversations We Need To Have, we’re talking about something almost everyone does… but not everyone feels comfortable discussing.

Masturbation.

Openly. Honestly. Without shame.

This episode breaks down what masturbation actually is, the real science-backed health benefits, the myths that have been passed down for generations, and when (rarely) it might be worth seeking support.

Educational material referenced from:

The Cleveland Clinic (health blog and educational resources)

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In this episode, Andrea explores two powerful — and surprisingly complementary — tools for emotional wellbeing: the Loving Kindness meditation and the F* You exercise.**

The first helps you soften — to build compassion, warmth, and acceptance toward yourself and others.

The second helps you strengthen — to set boundaries, claim space, and protect that compassionate self you’ve worked so hard to nurture.

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In this episode, Andrea dives into one of the most personal and powerful topics in therapy — how we see ourselves.

From the moment we wake up, we’re surrounded by messages telling us what our bodies should look like, how they should perform, and what’s “good enough.”

It’s no wonder so many of us end up in battles with the mirror.

Andrea explores how self-talk, body image, and self-compassion shape not just how we feel about our bodies, but how we connect with others — emotionally, sexually, and relationally.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Andrea breaks down the science behind how your body keeps you safe — even before you realise it.

We’re diving into The Polyvagal Theory, a simple but powerful way to understand why you sometimes feel calm, anxious, or completely shut down for “no reason.”

Sources

Polyvagal Theory in Therapy – Deb Dana

The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory – Stephen Porges

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In this episode, Andrea explores one of the hardest — but most important — conversations couples can have: how to overcome an affair.

What counts as an affair?

Why do they happen?

And what does it really take to heal when trust has been broken?

Affairs don’t always mean the end. For some couples, they become the start of something more honest, intimate, and real.

Resource:

After the Affair — Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD

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In this episode, Andrea breaks down one of the most popular — and often misunderstood — relationship concepts: love languages.

We all give and receive love differently, yet many couples end up feeling unseen or unappreciated — not because love is missing, but because it’s being expressed in the wrong language.

Andrea explores the five love languages — and explains how understanding both your own and your partner’s preferences can dramatically improve connection, intimacy, and emotional safety.

Because love isn’t just about intention — it’s about impact.

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In this episode, Andrea breaks down the myths around lubrication — because using lube isn’t a sign of a problem, it’s a sign of confidence and care.

We cover:

• Why natural lubrication varies (and that’s normal)
• The best types of lube — and which to avoid
• How to use lube safely with toys and condoms
• Why flavoured and warming lubes can cause more harm than heat
• Why communication about comfort is the sexiest thing you can do

Because great sex isn’t just about passion — it’s about preparation.

Resources:

Come As You Are — Emily Nagoski, PhD

Sexual Health Foundation (UK)

Brook.org.uk

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In this episode of Conversations We Need To Have, Andrea explores Attachment Theory and how our earliest relationships can influence the way we connect, communicate, and cope in adult relationships.

From constantly seeking reassurance to pulling away when things feel too close, attachment patterns often show up in ways we don't immediately recognise. This episode breaks down the four main attachment styles, how they affect our relationships, and what we can do to build more secure connections.

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Safer Sex Is Still Sexy

In this episode, Andrea breaks down the myths, excuses, and outdated attitudes around condoms — and reminds us that protection is not up for negotiation.

Its important because STI rates are rising and condom use is at an all-time low.

Great sex is about communication, care, and consent — not risk.

Resources:

Sexwise UK – Condoms and Protection

Brook.org.uk – Sexual Health Education

Terrence Higgins Trust

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What Is Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy. It sounds intimidating — clinical, serious, maybe even awkward.

But in reality?

It’s simply a safe, confidential space to talk about sex with a trained professional — without shame, pressure, or judgement.

In this episode of Conversations We Need To Have, Andrea breaks down what psychosexual therapy actually is, who it’s for, and what really happens in a session.

Spoiler: it’s talking — not touching.

Sex therapy is a professional, confidential talking therapy. It is educational, psychological, and relational — not physical or hands-on.

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In this opening episode, Andrea explores what we can learn from our primate cousins — bonobos and chimpanzees — and what their behaviour says about us.

Chimps represent dominance, hierarchy, and power.

Bonobos represent empathy, cooperation, and play.

So what happens when we start leading our relationships — and our conflicts — more like bonobos?

This episode sets the tone for the Conversations We Need to Have series: honest, human, sex-positive, and grounded in science and compassion.

Resources Mentioned:

Sex at Dawn – Christopher Ryan & Cacilda Jethá

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Hi, I’m Andrea — a licensed professional counsellor specialising in relationship and psychosexual therapy.

Before we dive in, there are a few important things I need you to know.

I don’t know you personally, which means I’m not your therapist.

Everything I share here is general information, not individual advice.

I’m a licensed therapist — but I only provide therapy to my lovely clients here in Surrey, and across the UK online, who’ve completed the proper consent process.

So, please enjoy my content for what it is — thoughtful conversation, research-based insights, and hopefully a few “aha” moments about sex and relationships.

But if something really resonates and you’d like personalised support, reach out to a licensed professional who can tailor advice to you.

A quick heads-up — I talk about sex, bodies, desire, and real human stuff, so you might occasionally hear a swear word or explicit language.

It’s never for shock value — just part of honest, grown-up conversation.

And finally, you’ll hear me use a mix of pronouns when I speak — because pleasure, intimacy, and love belong to everyone, regardless of gender or identity.

So, take what fits, leave what doesn’t, and remember — this space is for learning, not for labelling.

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