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We’re off this week since Sam just had baby number four and is home with the family. In the meantime, we’re bringing back an OG episode from the archive on emotional communication, one of our favorite episodes from the early days.

In this one, Cole breaks down the difference between emotional and intellectual communication, and why so many of us as dads default to trying to solve a problem when our wife or kids actually just need to feel heard first. He walks through a few real examples from his own life and marriage, like missing his wife’s frustration three different times because he kept trying to fix things instead of just listening, or telling his son about the square footage of a new house when what his son actually needed was for someone to acknowledge that it’s okay to be sad about leaving the old one behind.

They also get into a couple of simple, practical tools you can start using right away, including the nonverbal paraphrase and the emotional paraphrase, and talk through how to get better at reading whether someone is communicating with you emotionally or intellectually in the moment.

If you’ve got young kids, or if you’ve ever been told by your wife that you don’t really get what she’s trying to say, this is a great one to revisit. We’ll be back soon with new episodes. Congrats again to Sam and Raquel on baby number four.

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Sam and Cole open this one honoring Chad Gilbert, who passed away just two days before recording. Sam shares what it was like knowing him for over a decade, touring together, and working on music with him, and what Chad taught him.

From there it's a full listener Q&A. Financial planning before a baby arrives, why job security means having options now more than a pension, and why housing and debt decisions made pre-kids can wreck you post-kids. Cole gets into how to handle a family member who's all vanity and no real presence with his own kids, and talks through repressed grief when you have to be strong for everyone else while you're falling apart.

They also cover advice for a guy stuck falling for anyone who shows him attention, tips for someone wanting to start their own podcast, and how they stay on the same page in their marriages with money and scheduling.

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Sam breaks down the six biggest mistakes he sees dads make when it comes to fitness after having kids. Waiting for the perfect time to start, acting like you're already old at 40, copying a program built for someone with zero family obligations, all or nothing thinking, refusing to adjust for where your body actually is now versus ten years ago, and making the whole thing way more complicated than it needs to be.

Cole gets honest about which of these he still struggles with, and they get into why consistency beats perfection every time. Simple stuff works. Squat rack, some dumbbells, the basic lifts, done consistently for years, beats any fancy program you found on Instagram.

They also talk about why physical fitness opens doors with your kids, whether that's snowboarding, backpack hunting, or just having the energy to keep up, and why waiting until conditions are perfect means you'll never start.

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Blake Kasemeier (@blakeoftoday) joins Sam and Cole this week — content creator, BJJ black belt, garage gym owner, dad of two, and friend of the show.

A long awaited conversation with Blake after two failed attempts (our fault, not his)! We cover Blake's transition into fatherhood, what he had to give up, and what he gained in the process. We compare notes on home gym setups, alternative music backgrounds, screen time, and how to construct a life that fits your unique skills and aligns with your values as a family. We talk about how depression in his 20s and the loss of his mother led him to be more vocal about his emotions in a way that ultimately reduced the power they had over him.

We are big fans of Blake and highly recommend following him on IG/YouTube.

Thanks for listening!

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Sacrifice isn't part of fatherhood. It's the point.

Sam and Cole get into something nobody told them going in: giving up what you want isn't a tax you pay for having kids — it's the actual goal. Sam and Cole talk through years of quietly shutting down the versions of themselves that want a 2-hour gym session, extended hunting trips, songwriting careers, and why that used to feel like loss and now feels like the win.

They trace it through the hard stretches that don't resolve into anything — the weeks where the baby's not sleeping, the wife's laid up, and nobody hands you a trophy at the end of it. Cole reframes it from the other direction: not sacrifice, but selfishness, and how easily that default takes over if you let it.

They also get into what it actually looks like to be the guy your family can rely on no matter what — and why giving yourself credit for showing up, even quietly, even when no one's watching, matters more than people think.

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If you died today, would you be happy with the example you set?

That question started this whole podcast. One year later, Sam and Cole go back to it — and the honest answer is still no. Which is kind of the point.

This week they walk through the questions that built the show: what your family would actually say about you if you were gone, what you've modeled as most important versus what you've just said out loud, and whether you've built a well-rounded example — not jacked with no emotional skills, not soft with no backbone.

They get into sobriety as a non-negotiable for a lot of guys, over-indexing on fitness as a way to avoid the harder emotional work, and the gap between what you tell your kids to do and what you actually do yourself.

Go write your own answers down before you talk yourself out of it.

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We're back after a two-month hiatus, and life didn't slow down while we were gone. Between a brutal round-two stomach flu that wrecked a family trip, a baseball season that's eaten every weeknight, a UK tour stop, and a genuinely terrifying dirt bike accident with a 13-year-old and a Life Flight helicopter, there was a lot to catch up on.

We also get into something we don't talk about enough — what happens to the rest of your day, and your life, when your brain is being rewired by your phone. Not the four-hours-a-day stat everyone already knows, but the part nobody's measuring: what it's doing to your ability to just read a book, sit in a car, or have a conversation.

In this episode:

• Why we disappeared for two months
• Coaching travel baseball and why the "season" never actually ends
• A UK festival, a legendary stage mosh pit, and catching up with Jack Osbourne
• Buying 10 acres of raw land in Idaho and the LARPing that's followed
• The dirt bike accident that ended in a helicopter — and what it taught us about risk, fear, and raising capable kids
• Why hardcore music (and staying sober) shaped one of our lives more than almost anything else
• Quitting the phone cold turkey and what that's actually revealed about the rest of the day

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Cole and Sam go straight to the listener questions this week, and the questions are good. From entrepreneurs struggling to be present with their kids while carrying the weight of being the sole breadwinner, to navigating spirituality in the household, to what actually happens to your marriage and your parenting when things get hard — this one covers a lot of ground.

They also get into what it actually means to "lead" your family, why gentle parenting without any firmness creates kids who know exactly how to work around you, and why the guy who's never wrong is the worst kind of leader in a household.

In this episode:

• The entrepreneur trap — when working hard is a STERB vs. when it's just a build phase
• Adopting faith into the household without being pushy
• Twins advice from a dad who actually has them
• Why you are the key variable in your kids' lives — not their behavior
• Managing conflict in marriage without pulling your kids into it
• Firmness vs. anger — and why your kids can tell the difference

If this episode resonated, leave us a review — it helps other dads find the show.

Most dads think about the physical side of being a good father — showing up, providing, being present. But there's a set of emotional skills that determine whether your kids actually want a relationship with you when they're adults. Cole sees it in his grief recovery work all the time — good dads, good people, blindsided by estrangement from their adult children and grandkids. It didn't have to happen. And it doesn't have to happen to you.

Cole and Sam break down the emotional tools that keep your most important relationships healthy over a lifetime — not just day to day, but decades from now.

In this episode:

• The emotional skills most dads were never taught and why it matters long term
• Why relationships fracture over time and how to stop the buildup before it blows
• The three things that keep any relationship emotionally clean — apologizing, forgiving, and saying the things that need to be said
• How to forgive someone without putting them on the spot
• Why your kids are watching all of this and logging it as the correct way to do relationships
• Why marriage is where all of these skills get tested the hardest

If this episode hit home, leave us a review — it helps other dads find the show.

Cole and Sam get fired up over a wave of mainstream articles — including a recent New York Times piece titled "I Regret Having Children" — and dig into what they see as a long-running cultural current pushing people away from family life. This one's less a how-to and more a rallying cry.

The guys talk about growing up in a culture that quietly told you kids were a burden, careers were the point, and big families were irresponsible — and how that messaging doesn't just stop when you become a parent. It targets your kids too.

But mostly? This episode is about the flip side. What it actually feels like to go all in on family. The Easter Sundays. The baseball games with your boys. The way becoming a dad can strip out the self-centeredness that was holding you back all along.

In this episode:

• The cultural propaganda machine and why it targets young people
• Why embracing "dad" as your identity is harder than it should be
• The creation analogy — why building a family might be the most meaningful thing you ever make
• Protecting your kids from messaging that chips away at their vision of the future
• Why staying home with your kids is not something to apologize for

If you're getting value from the podcast, please leave a rating or review — it helps other dads find this when they need it.

Sam and Cole are back after a few busy weeks with some major updates and reflections.

Big news: Sam and Raquel are expecting baby number four. Sam shares honest thoughts on how pregnancy turns everything upside down, what he's learned about identity and certainty through his thirties, and why having kids is the most profound change that can happen to you as a man.

Then they break down their kids' first jiu-jitsu tournament — the intensity, the tears, the wins, the losses, and what it actually looks like when young kids compete in combat sports.

Cole also shares his experience at a Shivworks self-defense course — two days of reality-based training on knife defense, entangled fighting, and managing unknown contacts. Not macho nonsense, but intelligent, evidence-based instruction from on how to avoid violence, deescalate situations, and survive worst-case scenarios if you have no choice.

They talk about why exposure to real violence (in training) shrinks the fantasy, why lifting weights matters for self-defense, and why being your family's protector isn't optional — it's what you signed up for.

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Sam and Cole talk sleep this week — one of the biggest challenges of fatherhood, and one where you lose a lot of control when kids arrive.

Most sleep optimization advice comes from people without kids, talking about perfectly controlled environments that just aren't realistic for parents. But the truth is, you still have control over more than you think. And improving sleep quality by even 20-30% — for you and your whole household — makes a real difference.

They break down:

• Circadian rhythm basics: morning sun exposure, cortisol spikes, and melatonin at night
• What they did wrong with their first kids (and how they'd do it differently now)
• Caffeine timing, meal timing, and why delaying caffeine 60-90 minutes matters
• Light exposure: LED bulbs vs incandescent, blue light at night, and simple changes that help
• Nose strips, mouth tape, and practical sleep hygiene
• Why natural sleep schedules work better than forcing rigid routines

Plus: practical tips like buying full-size beds for your kids from the start (you'll end up sleeping in them), coordinating with your partner so both parents aren't getting destroyed every night, and understanding that better sleep for everyone in the house creates more harmony overall.

Sam and Cole go off-script this week — no plan, just pure banter on lifting, diet, home gyms, and what it means to actually show up as a father.

Sam breaks down his perfected 4-day home gym rotation (3 upper, 1 lower, all under 30 minutes) and why flexible programming is the key for dads. They get into why bodybuilding gets unfairly dismissed, the power of stringing workouts together consistently, and how a $450 garage gym might be the best investment you'll make for your family.

You'll hear about:

• The adjustable 4-day split that works around chaos (not against it)
• Why 30-minute workouts > 1-hour sessions for most dads right now
• The aggregate effect of consistent lifting (it's not just about today's workout)
• Home gym setups on any budget — and why your kids need to see you do this
• Macro tracking, animal-based eating, and getting lean without losing your mind
• The nuance missing from diet wars (meat vs. vegan, quality vs. dogma)
• Why bodybuilding methodology is actually perfect for regular dads

Plus they read listener messages, talk about why having strong opinions (backed by action) matters, and why being the kind of dad who lifts in his garage at 6am changes everything — not just for you, but for your kids watching.

If you're getting value from the podcast, please leave a rating or review — it helps more dads find this stuff. And if you haven't built that home gym yet, this episode might be the push you need.

If you're enjoying the podcast, please leave us a 5-star rating and review! It takes just a few seconds and helps other dads find the show. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

How you feed your kids is one of the biggest decisions you'll make as a father — and the forces working against you are massive, profitable, and deeply embedded in our culture. From the processed food industry to pharma to the hospitals that profit from chronic disease, there's a pipeline designed to keep your family sick and dependent.

Sam and Cole break down:

• Why the incentives are all wrong (and who benefits when your kids are unhealthy)
• The lies we've been sold about fat, cholesterol, and what's "healthy"
• Hard decisions they've made: cutting way back on eating out, investing heavily in quality food
• How to get on the same page with your partner and create a unified front
• Why you can't outsource this — you're the only one who actually has your kids' best interests in mind

Your mindset isn't fixed — it's a skill you can develop, and it might be the biggest lever you have as a father. This week Sam and Cole dig into one of the most overlooked tools in a dad's arsenal: the ability to consciously shape how you perceive and respond to the world around you.

From the Serenity Prayer to Marcus Aurelius, from cold plunges to Atomic Habits — they get into what's actually worked for them over 20+ years of doing the work, and how the physical, mental, and emotional are more connected than most people realize.

You'll hear about:

• Why your perception of events is not "the truth" — and how to use that to your advantage
• The role your physical body plays in your mindset (and which levers to pull when life gets busy)
• How gratitude, present-moment awareness, and sobriety have been game changers
• Why the goal isn't just mindset for you — it's the filter you're modeling for your kids every single day

No hacks. No silver bullets. Just two dads being honest about the ongoing practice of getting out of your own way.

If you're enjoying the podcast, please leave us a 5-star rating and review! It takes just a few seconds and helps other dads find the show. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Episode Summary:
Part three (and finale) of our three-part foundational assessment series! This episode focuses on preparedness, legacy planning, and being ready for the unexpected. Sam and Cole tackle the uncomfortable but critical topics most dads avoid.

THE 5 ASSESSMENT QUESTIONS 
1. How prepared are you for the unexpected death of you and/or your partner?
2. If you lost your job today, could you make it 3-6 months covering expenses?
3. How prepared are you to cover your family for a week in case of emergency?
4. Have you effectively communicated or memorialized the values you want to pass on to your kids?
5. How prepared are you to assist aging parents?

In this assessment episode, Sam and Cole tackle:
* Estate planning basics—wills, trusts, guardianship appointments (and why foster care is a real risk without them)
* Life insurance for young families and why it matters
* The 72-hour rule: food, water, shelter, and basic emergency supplies
* Why your kids will get a counterfeit identity from the world if you don't give them the real one
* Multi-generational living and caring for aging parents
* How to actually document your family values before it's too late

Sam gets brutally honest about the costs of raising kids in 2025, the housing market being "hosed," and why his neighbor's 30-year-old paid-off vehicle beats a new SUV. Cole shares insights on instilling values in kids, the danger of chasing external things for happiness, and why one in four adults is estranged from family members.

Whether you're completely unprepared (many of us are) or already have some boxes checked, this episode gives you clear next steps to protect your family and leave a legacy worth passing on.

Sam offers to answer DMs about estate planning specifics, and both hosts emphasize that while these topics are uncomfortable, they're absolutely critical to get sorted out this year.

Looking ahead: More actionable content throughout 2026, plus potential in-person gathering.

#FatherhoodPodcast #EstatePlanning #EmergencyPreparedness #LifeInsurance #LegacyPlanning #FamilyValues #IntentionalFatherhood #Preparedness #LeaveNoDoubt #ProtectYourFamily

If you're enjoying the podcast, please leave us a 5-star rating and review! It takes just a few seconds and helps other dads find the show. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Episode Summary:
Part two of our three-part foundational assessment series! This episode focuses on emotional communication and self-reflection—skills that most men weren't taught growing up, but are absolutely critical for being an effective father and husband.

Sam and Cole walk you through six essential questions to assess your emotional health and capability. This is about developing real skills that prevent blind spots, divorce, and disconnection from your kids. If you can physically protect your family but can't emotionally connect with them, you're missing half the job.

THE 6 CRITICAL ASSESSMENT QUESTIONS:
1. How present are you in the moment without seeking distraction?
2. How much emotional control do you have on a daily basis?
3. Can you identify when someone is communicating with you emotionally?
4. How comfortable are you with self-reflection?
5. How emotionally complete do you feel with your friends and family?
6. What are your energy levels throughout the day? (emotional component)

In this assessment episode, Sam and Cole tackle:
* Why unresolved grief and emotional pain keep you stuck in the past or anxious about the future
* How to recognize when your kid (or wife) is having an emotional experience vs. a problem-solving moment
* The massive blind spot most men have: intellectualizing everything instead of just listening
* Why self-reflection and self-disclosure build trust and prevent isolation
* Phone usage as a distraction from uncomfortable emotions and present-moment awareness
* How incomplete relationships create constant triggers and reactivity
* The connection between physical energy and unresolved emotional baggage

Whether you're completely new to these topics or already doing the work, this episode gives you clear diagnostic questions to identify blind spots and areas for growth in 2026.

Cole's professional expertise in grief recovery shines through, while Sam models what it looks like to learn these skills in real-time. This is actionable content—not just another podcast to consume and move on from.

More assessment episodes coming soon. Part three covers additional foundational categories for fatherhood.

Referenced in this episode: Episode 6 - Emotional Communication deep dive

#FatherhoodPodcast #EmotionalIntelligence #GriefRecovery #SelfReflection #EmotionalHealth #MentalHealth #IntentionalFatherhood #ParentingSkills #LeaveNoDoubt #BePresent

If you're enjoying the podcast, please leave us a 5-star rating and review! It takes just a few seconds and helps other dads find the show. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Episode Summary: Kicking off 2026 with the first episode in our three-part assessment series! This episode focuses on the physical fundamentals every father needs to have locked down—not the sexy 20%, but the core 80% that actually moves the needle.

THE 6 CRITICAL ASSESSMENT QUESTIONS:

1. Are you routinely doing resistance training?

2. What percentage of your meals are centered around protein?

3. How are your energy levels throughout the day until you fall asleep?

4. Can you get through the week without relying on drugs or alcohol?

5. If you had to physically defend your family, how confident would you be?

6. How physically present are you with your kids on a weekly basis?

In this assessment episode, Sam and Cole tackle: * Why resistance training is non-negotiable and how to scale from 1-5 * The protein-centered approach to nutrition that cuts through all the diet noise * Energy levels as a key indicator of overall health (caffeine, carbs, and circadian rhythm) * Real talk on sobriety—why zero drugs and alcohol might be the best option for fathers * Physical capability and your role as your family's security detail * Phone usage destroying your presence with your kids and how to fix it * Why all these fundamentals work together as a system Sam and Cole get honest about their own struggles—Cole's holiday carb binge, both of their phone usage challenges, and why they're between 3-4 on several metrics themselves.

They emphasize this is assessment, not judgment, and starting with just ONE area can cascade into improvements across all the others.

More assessment episodes coming soon covering other foundational categories for fatherhood. Looking ahead to 2026 with practical content on implementing real change in your life as a father and man.

SUBSCRIBE & LEAVE A 5-STAR REVIEW! Help us reach more parents by subscribing and leaving a rating. Your support means everything!

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Jack Osbourne joins us for an incredible conversation about fatherhood, friendship, and finding balance in an unbalanced world.

Jack has been Cole's friend for 20+ years—they got sober together in their early twenties and have been through life's ups and downs side by side. We sit down to discuss what he's learned in his 13 years of parenting, what he learned from his parents, raising kids in rural vs. urban environments, and much more.

In this episode:

• Growing up as Ozzy Osbourne's son and the work ethic lessons that stuck
• Why Jack stopped yelling at his kids: "Anything that isn't nurturing is trauma"
• The stark differences between raising boys and girls
• Balancing Hollywood parties with grounded Idaho living
• Why male community is essential for fathers (and not talked about enough)
• Growing up on camera during "The Osbournes"
• Navigating grief and loss with children
• Letting kids rebel and individuate (even when it hurts)
• Why "we're gonna mess our kids up no matter what"

Jack shares honest stories—from getting his first tattoo on Hatebreed's tour bus at 16, to taking his 13-year-old daughter to a party where a shirtless Justin Bieber accidentally brushed against her, to watching his youngest daughters experience their grandfather's legacy for the first time.

This is raw, real talk from three dads who are trying their best to raise good humans in 2026.

If you're enjoying the podcast, please leave us a 5-star rating and review! It takes just a few seconds and helps other dads find the show. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Episode Summary:

Sam and Cole kick off the end of year with a candid check-in on their holiday struggles—from carb overload and doom scrolling to the surprising benefits of cold plunging (yes, they know it's cringey).

In this Q&A episode, they tackle listener questions on crucial fatherhood topics including:

• Helping kids find their voice while avoiding the extremes of authoritarian or overly permissive parenting
• Modeling apologies and accountability to your children—and why completing unfinished emotional business with your own parents is essential
• Navigating intimacy after kids and the importance of maintaining connection with your spouse through major life changes
• Dealing with grief in relationships and how unresolved pain impacts your marriage
• Building character in the age of social media and why kids need unremarkable experiences to develop substance

Sam and Cole get real about their own struggles, disagreements, and growth areas—from finances to fitness to faith. They emphasize the importance of civil conversation, doing the hard emotional work, and not compromising your values for convenience.

Plus: Starbucks controversy, bodybuilding confessions, and why they're looking for the right sponsors (Rogue Fitness, Spindrift, Vivo Barefoot, Glock, etc.).

Looking ahead to 2026 with practical content on implementing real change in your life as a father and man.

What does it actually mean to be yourself—as a father, a husband, a professional, and a man?

In this episode, Sam and Cole unpack a realization that hit on the road after a show: the rare gift of not having to switch identities depending on where you are. From music scenes and corporate boardrooms to family life and friendships, they explore what it looks like to live with one consistent core—and why that matters so deeply for our kids.

The conversation moves through childhood conditioning, school systems, emotional responsibility, masculinity, and the subtle ways parents (often unintentionally) teach kids to trade authenticity for approval. They talk about why many men struggle to admit what they don’t know, how “must be nice” thinking quietly erodes leadership, and why modeling humility, curiosity, and emotional honesty might be one of the most important things we pass on.

This episode isn’t about having parenting figured out. It’s about asking better questions:
Can you be the same person at work, at home, and with your friends?
Are your kids learning who they are—or who they think you want them to be?
And what kind of family culture are you actually building?

A grounded, honest conversation about identity, fatherhood, and the freedom that comes from telling the truth about who you are.

What happens when your kids look back and tell the story of you as a father?

In this episode, we ditch the outline and go somewhere deeper. Drawing on 15+ years of real-world grief recovery work, Cole shares what he’s seen time and time again when adults “graph” their relationship with their fathers—what hurt, what helped, and what never got resolved.

The surprising takeaway?
Most dads weren’t bad. They were well-intentioned, hard-working men who simply didn’t have the emotional tools their kids needed.

We talk about:

• Why anger often becomes a man’s emotional armor—and how it pushes kids away

• How unresolved pain with your own father quietly shapes how you parent

• Why being a provider isn’t enough in 2025

• The difference between masculinity and emotional absence (it’s not either/or)

• How kids internalize belief systems that were never theirs to carry

• Why emotional completion—not perfection—is the real goal of fatherhood

This episode is a call to evolve—not to abandon strength, but to expand it. To be the kind of father who can protect fiercely and connect deeply. The kind of dad your kids won’t need to emotionally “recover” from later.

If you’ve ever worried about getting it wrong…
If you want your kids to feel safe bringing their hearts to you…
If you believe fatherhood deserves more than just “showing up”…

This conversation is for you.

Resources mentioned:

• The Grief Recovery Handbook

• When Children Grieve

• Support: support@thegriefrecoverymethod.com

If this episode resonated, please leave a rating or review—it helps other dads find conversations like this, and it means more to us than you know.

Being a father changes everything—including how you approach fitness. In this episode, Sam and Cole get real about what working out actually looks like when you have young kids, a demanding job, and zero hours to spare.

They break down the uncomfortable truths nobody shares: there is no perfect schedule, your progress won't be linear, and you'll have months where everything falls apart. But here's the thing—that's all part of the deal.

Sam and Cole challenge popular fitness culture that ignores family life entirely, from Instagram influencers with 8-hour training days to CrossFit programs that leave people burned out. They make the case for why every dad should be lifting weights (not cardio), building a a simple home gym, and lowering expectations while staying consistent.

Topics covered:

• Why time isn't given, it's created
• The benefits of working out in street clothes at home
• How lifting weights impacts everything from mental health to patience with your kids
• The dark truth about cardio culture
• Building a prison gym 2.0 in your garage

If you're tired of fitness advice from people who don't have kids, this one's for you.

Key Topics: fatherhood, fitness for dads, home gym, weightlifting, staying in shape with kids, parenting, men's health, testosterone, workout motivation

In this episode, Cole and Sam tackle a listener question that opens up a much larger conversation about career choices, money, and fatherhood. A listener working in public transportation faces a decision: accept a 50% pay increase that would require unpredictable schedules and being on-call for the next 10 years, or maintain his current stable schedule but stay at his current income level. His own father worked night shifts and felt like "a stranger" to him growing up.

Cole and Sam explore the broader themes this question raises: How do fathers balance career ambitions with being present for their kids? Is the American obsession with constantly increasing income actually serving families? What does real wealth look like when you factor in time with your children?

Topics covered:

• The illusion of "stable" careers in modern America
• House rich vs. house poor: avoiding the mortgage trap
• The hidden costs of hustle culture and "grinding" for your family
• Generational wealth: building it without ruining your kids
• Creative solutions for non-traditional career paths
• Why your purpose changed the moment you became a father

Whether you're considering a career change, struggling with work-life balance, or wondering if you can "afford" another child, this conversation challenges conventional wisdom about success and reminds fathers what truly matters.

In this episode, Sam and Cole dive into why physicality and self-defense are crucial components of raising confident, capable kids in 2025. Fresh off their own travels (Cole from three weeks filming a TV show in Texas, Sam from quick trip to the Netherlands), they discuss how maintaining physical readiness impacts everything from mental health to parenting effectiveness.

Key Topics Covered:

• Starting Early: How to introduce physicality to young children through nature exploration, wrestling with dad, and letting kids navigate physical challenges without overreacting to every bump and scrape
• Building Confidence: Why physical skills like jiujitsu or weightlifting create undeniable self-confidence that can't be taken away—unlike achievements that depend on others' approval
• The Jiujitsu Journey: Why both hosts enrolled all their kids in jiujitsu and the life lessons it teaches about winning, losing, discipline, and reality testing
• Self-Defense Reality: The uncomfortable but necessary conversation about being prepared to protect your family in an unpredictable world
• Avoiding Overcorrection: How to support kids emotionally while not coddling them physically—knowing when to step in and when to let them self-regulate
• Leading by Example: Why dads need to maintain their own physicality and what message it sends when you let yourself go

Practical Takeaways:

• Get kids outside in nature early and often (Move Naturally philosophy)
• Make wrestling with dad a regular occurrence
• Don't over-react to minor physical injuries—let kids self-assess
• Consider martial arts training (especially jiujitsu) for pressure-tested skills
• Model physical readiness yourself as a father

Whether you grew up physically active or not, this episode challenges you to think about what you're passing on to your kids and how physicality builds the kind of confidence that translates into every area of life.

In this episode, we tackle one of the most critical—and overlooked—skills in fatherhood: telling the truth about yourself emotionally. 

Cole shares a heartbreaking story about losing his friend and the regret of never expressing what their friendship meant. This loss shaped how he now approaches relationships—refusing to withhold important messages from the people he cares about, even when it feels awkward or uncomfortable.

What we cover:

• Why "I'm fine" is slowly killing men and destroying relationships
• How emotional isolation contributes to male suicide rates
• The specific skill of staying "emotionally complete" with people
• How to disclose honestly while maintaining boundaries
• Why the toughest people you know are often the most emotionally intelligent
• What you're unknowingly teaching your kids about emotions
• The slow death of marriages and father-child relationships built on surface-level communication

This isn't about being soft—it's about being real. Because your kids don't want a robot for a father, and your wife doesn't want a caricature of masculinity. They want you.

In this second Q&A episode, Sam and Cole dive into listener questions covering everything from breaking generational cycles to finding your people in a new place.

Topics covered:

Breaking the Cycle - Cole explains the "loss history graph" as a tool for self-assessment when dealing with unresolved grief from difficult childhoods. They discuss why emotional completeness with your past is essential before you can truly parent differently.

Finding Community - Both hosts share how they built their friend networks through their wives meeting other parents at kids' activities, forest schools, and shared interests. 

Why Northern Idaho? - Sam and Cole explain what drew them to the region: homeschool-friendly culture, outdoor lifestyle, family-centered values, and the freedom to live differently. They discuss the trade-offs of living far from extended family.

Budgeting - The hosts admit they're not Dave Ramsey disciples, preferring life experiences over extreme frugality. Sam shares his simple spreadsheet approach and "real money budgeting" philosophy, while both agree that financial alignment in marriage is crucial.

The Hardcore Question - Sam addresses whether he's gotten pushback from hardcore friends for his faith, and explains why hardcore's inclusivity is one of its best features.

Refueling as a Dad - Practical advice on daily buffers (early morning workouts, evening downtime) versus longer "vision quests," plus the importance of reciprocating when asking for solo time.

Supporting Kids Through Grief - Cole offers compassionate guidance to a single mom navigating her children's grief, emphasizing that parents must work through their own grief first before they can effectively help their kids.

The episode wraps with gratitude for the growing community and a reminder that this podcast isn't trying to be mainstream - it's for parents who know something's off about modern parenting culture and want to do things differently.

In this raw and unfiltered episode, Sam and Cole dive deep into one of the most important conversations for modern fathers: why going against mainstream culture isn't just okay—it's essential for your family's wellbeing.

Drawing from Sam's background in hardcore punk music, they explore how some of the defining features of punk music can directly translate to making better parenting decisions in 2025. They break down why the "norms" of modern parenting weren't necessarily designed with your family's best interests in mind.

KEY TOPICS:

• Why corporate interests, not your wellbeing, shape parenting "norms"

• The food pyramid, sugar studies, and other industry manipulation

• How Cole arrived at counter-culture parenting without the punk background

• Screen time, technology, and what tech companies know (but won't tell you)

• Education, home birth, homesteading, and other controversial choices

• The DIY mentality: doing it yourself while building real community

This isn't about being difficult for the sake of it—it's about protecting your kids from systems designed to profit from their confusion, sickness, and dependence. If you've ever felt like the "normal" way of raising kids doesn't sit right with you, this episode will give you the framework and courage to trust your instincts. 

Chores aren't just about keeping the house clean—they're one of the most powerful tools for raising resilient, capable kids. In this practical episode of our new "Fatherhood Field Notes" series, we break down why chores matter and how to make them meaningful.

In this episode:

• Why outdoor chores are more fulfilling
• How chores build work ethic, responsibility, self-esteem, and grit
• The power of routine and age-appropriate expectations
• Making chores "mission-critical" so kids understand their purpose
• Teaching financial literacy through earned money and real spending decisions
• Being the example: modeling a positive attitude toward household contributions

Key takeaway: Kids desperately want purpose. When they can see how their work directly contributes to the family—whether it's keeping the yard clean or harvesting vegetables for dinner—they develop the backbone and work ethic that will serve them for life.

Perfect for dads navigating the practical, day-to-day challenges of raising kids who are capable, confident, and ready for the real world.

There are three words that almost every parent says multiple times a week—sometimes multiple times a day. They're said with pure love and the best intentions. They feel helpful in the moment. And they're quietly teaching your children that their emotions are wrong, shameful, and need to be hidden.

In this eye-opening episode, we expose the single most damaging phrase parents unconsciously use when their kids are hurting, and reveal why our instinct to immediately stop our children's tears is actually setting them up for emotional disaster later in life.

Drawing from 15 years of working with the Grief Recovery Method and helping thousands of people process unresolved trauma, we break down not just these three toxic words, but the four other damaging messages that typically accompany them. By age 15, children receive an estimated 26,000 signals to suppress their emotions. Is it any wonder so many adults don't know how to process grief?

In This Episode You'll discover:

• The exact phrase that invites your child to share more instead of shut down
• Why emotional paraphrasing changes everything (and how to do it naturally)
• The hidden message kids receive when Dad stays stoic 
• How to recognize the 40+ life events that cause childhood grief (it's not just death—it's pet loss, moving, betrayal, loss of trust, even finding out Santa isn't real)
• Real scripts for supporting big emotions without being overwhelmed by them

Resources mentioned: "When Children Grieve" book, Grief Recovery Handbook

We dive into one of the most pressing questions for modern dads: how do we prepare our kids for a future dominated by AI and rapid technological change? In this episode, we challenge the traditional education playbook and explore the skills that will actually matter in 10-20 years.

We discuss why being personable and building strong people skills might be the ultimate competitive advantage, how athletics and team sports develop resilience that translates directly to career success, and why creativity and entrepreneurship are becoming more valuable than ever. We also tackle why traditional college degrees are becoming less relevant, the surprising value of trade skills over white-collar work, and how to raise kids who can think critically in a world of easy AI answers.

Drawing from our own experiences hiring, firing, and building teams, we share real insights about what makes people successful in the modern workplace. This isn't futurism or speculation—it's what we're seeing right now in our companies and industries.

Whether you're raising toddlers or teenagers, this episode will challenge you to think differently about your kids' education and development. We're not about raising office drones—we're about raising resilient, creative, personable humans who can thrive in whatever world they inherit.

Topics covered:

• Why people skills trump technical skills
• The hidden value of athletics and team sports
• Teaching critical thinking vs. AI dependency
• Trade skills vs. traditional college paths
• Building entrepreneurial mindsets early
• The importance of creativity and imagination

Join us for an honest conversation about preparing our kids for an uncertain—but exciting—future.

In this episode, we share how we've approached screen time with our kids over the past 13 years and why we've made choices that go against what most families do. We talk about what we've observed in our own children when we limit their exposure to screens, phones, and devices - and what we've noticed in ourselves when we've made changes to our own habits.

What We Cover:

• Why we decided early on to take a different path with technology
• The alternatives we've found that actually work (Yoto players, audiobooks, outdoor time)
• How we handle the peer pressure and "but everyone else gets to" conversations
• What we do when we do allow screen time (blue light glasses, specific content choices)
• Why we think the morning sunlight and outdoor time matters more than most people realize
• How our own relationship with phones and screens affects our kids

Our Practical Approach:

• What we use instead of iPads for entertainment
• The compromise we've found for necessary technology
• Why we think the bar is set too low for what kids actually need
• What we've learned about our kids' attention spans and creativity when screens aren't an option

We're not trying to convince anyone to do exactly what we do, but we wanted to share what we've discovered works for our families. Sometimes the path that feels harder upfront ends up being the easier one in the long run.

In our first Q&A episode, we dive into real questions from listeners covering the full spectrum of fatherhood challenges. From creative workout solutions (like front squats with toddlers in carriers) to the brutal transition from one to two kids, we share honest insights from our own parenting journeys.

Key topics we cover:

• Practical fitness advice for busy dads, including HIIT workouts at home and using kid carriers for resistance training
• The reality check of going from one to two children - why it's often the hardest transition
• Vision improvement through reduced screen time and increased natural sunlight exposure
• A candid discussion about pornography addiction, addressing the underlying emotional triggers and offering practical strategies for recovery
• How our spiritual journeys have shaped our approach to fatherhood and family life

Topics discussed may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion advised.

In this episode of Leave No Doubt Fatherhood, we break down five critical fitness benchmarks that every father should be able to achieve.

Why It Matters: Beyond looking good, these milestones directly impact your ability to play with your kids, protect your family in emergencies, age gracefully, and maintain quality of life as a father. We share personal stories about having to sprint after runaway dogs, carry kids to catch trains, and handle unexpected situations that required real physical capability.

Key Takeaways:

• These aren't about becoming an elite athlete - they're beginner-level benchmarks
• Most men can't do these when starting out, and that's normal
• Each milestone can be scaled up or down based on your current fitness level
• Consistency beats intensity - 15 minutes, 3 times per week from home can get you there
• Your physical fitness directly affects your mood, energy, and patience as a dad

We include practical progression tips for each milestone and emphasize that this isn't about discipline or looking jacked - it's about being the reliable, capable father your family deserves in any situation.

Connect with us: Hit us up on Instagram for specific workout guidance and share your progress. We love hearing from dads who are putting this into practice.

In this episode of Leave No Doubt Fatherhood, we tackle one of the most requested topics from listeners: managing stress, burnout, and self-doubt as a father, especially in the early years.

Inspired by a suggestion from one of our listeners, we dive deep into the tools that have helped us survive and thrive through the toughest periods of fatherhood. From leg breaks and months of sleepless nights to the overwhelming feeling of "I don't really feel like a dad yet,"we share the raw reality of what early fatherhood actually looks like.

Key topics covered:

• Why you can't separate mental health from physical health - and the practical steps that actually work
• The HALT method: checking if you're too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired before assuming you're failing
• How to stay present instead of spiraling into future worry or past regret
• The power of waking up before your kids to get your head straight
• Why spirituality and the Serenity Prayer became game-changers, even for skeptics
• Creating a family vision statement - having a WHY
• Why your stress tolerance dramatically increases over time (and why that matters)

We also talk nutrition's role in mood stability, the impact of blue light vs. sunlight, and why being of service to others is often the fastest way out of a mental spiral.

Perfect for: New dads feeling overwhelmed, experienced fathers hitting a rough patch, or anyone looking for real strategies to manage the mental game of fatherhood.

In this episode we break down the three critical mental shifts that separate dads who thrive from those who spend years trying to recreate their old life - and why your kids pay the price when you resist the transformation.

The 3 Mental Shifts:

1. Stop romanticizing your pre-kid life - It probably wasn't as great as you remember
2. Embrace that it's supposed to be hard - The struggle is the point, not something to escape
3. Become what you want to leave behind - Your kids will become who you are, not who you tell them to be

In this episode, we get real about:

• How the hardest parts of early parenthood forge you into the dad your kids need
• Why "me time" and old hobbies might be holding you back from real fulfillment
• The difference between being selfish and becoming the example your kids need
• How to start becoming the father you want your kids to see (even if you feel like a beginner)

This isn't about perfection - it's about evolution. Your kids are watching everything you do, and they'll become a reflection of who you are right now. The question is: are you becoming someone worth following?

Key takeaways: ✓ Your pre-kid life was probably more self-centered than you remember ✓ Early parenting struggles exist to transform you, not torment you ✓ Kids model behavior, not advice - become what you want them to be ✓ You can start changing who you are today, regardless of your past ✓ The best gift you can give your kids is becoming a better version of yourself

Perfect for new dads, expecting fathers, and anyone who's still trying to fit kids into their old life instead of growing into their new one.

Keywords: New dad advice, fatherhood transformation, parenting mindset, dad psychology, becoming a father, parenting struggles, dad development, family leadership

In this episode we are debriefing on an epic week-long camping trip with multiple families (20+ kids running wild in a mountain meadow) and a backpacking adventure with goats in grizzly country. It gave us a chance to reflect on why it is so important to spend unstructured outdoor time with our kids and how any dad can ease their way into spending more time outdoors with their kids.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• Behind-the-scenes stories from our summer camping adventures
• Why kids covered in dirt for days straight never wanted to leave
• How limiting screen time makes nature magical for kids
• Why a 12-year-old who grew up outdoors can fix a flat tire solo
• Budget-friendly ways to get started 

Key takeaways: ✓ Start with a kid carrier backpack and hit local trails ✓ Regular outdoor time beats elaborate gear every time ✓ Kids who grow up outside become natural problem-solvers ✓ You don't need an agenda - nature provides the entertainment ✓ Public land is free and accessible everywhere ✓ Model outdoor capability first - kids follow your lead

Perfect for dads who want to raise kids that see the outdoors as their natural playground, not something to fear or avoid.

Your belief system was formed by age 15 - but as an adult, you get to rewrite the script. In this episode, we explore how childhood programming shapes your parenting and what you can do to break negative cycles.

What We Cover:

• How belief systems form (most are set by ages 2-3, nearly complete by 15)
• Why you might be "living someone else's script" without realizing it
• The difference between awareness and emotional completion
• Practical exercises: relationship graphs, family vision statements, trigger identification
• How unresolved pain creates overreactions in parenting situations

Key Insight: You're not just a product of your environment anymore. At 30, 40, or 50, you have the power to consciously choose what beliefs to keep from your childhood and what to give back.

Real Examples:

• Cole's story about his father's aggressive car-buying behavior and choosing to break that cycle
• Sam's journey from "I'm just a creative/music guy" to confidently leading in corporate settings
• How Vietnam trauma shaped one generation's parenting style

The Challenge: Stop spending mental energy on fantasy football and start doing the real work - assessing your triggers, writing family vision statements, and getting emotionally complete with your past.

Actionable Steps:

1. List situations where you overreact (your triggers)
2. Ask why those buttons are so easily pressed
3. Consider doing grief recovery work to get emotionally complete
4. Write down what kind of family life you want to create

This isn't therapy - it's taking ownership of who you choose to be as a father.

#Fatherhood #ParentingPodcast #GenerationalTrauma #EmotionalIntelligence #DadLife #MentalHealth #GriefRecovery #FamilyDynamics

In this honest and practical episode, we break down our biggest diet mistakes and wins - from the dark days of Hot Pockets and vegan experiments to finding sustainable approaches that actually work for busy fathers.

What You'll Learn:

• Why the 90s food pyramid era set us up for failure
• Our embarrassing diet phases
• Why protein should be your North Star (and how to actually get 150-200g daily)
• Simple principles: avoid foods that weren't around 75-100 years ago
• When tracking macros helps vs. when it becomes a job
• The carnivore experiment: what worked and what didn't
• How emotional eating sabotages progress

Why This Matters for Dads: Your kids are watching and learning from your food choices. In a world where laboratories design ultra-palatable foods to hook children, giving them a framework for healthy eating isn't optional - it's one of the highest stakes areas where you're setting an example.

We share our current daily eating routines, discuss the psychological aspects of food addiction, and explain why this generation of parents can't just "wing it" like previous generations.

Key Takeaway: There's no one-size-fits-all approach, but there are foundational principles that work. Whether you go high-protein flexible or strict carnivore, the goal is finding what's sustainable for your life while modeling healthy choices for your children.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Growing up in the 90s food wasteland

06:00 - Our vegetarian/vegan phase disasters

13:00 - The bodybuilding supplement era

19:00 - What actually works: protein and whole foods

28:00 - Emotional eating and food addiction

33:00 - Why this matters for your kids

40:00 - Daily eating routines that work

Resources Mentioned:

• MyFitnessPal for macro tracking
• David Protein Bars
• Equip Beef Protein Powder
• Dr. Sean O'Mara's carnivore protocol

In this episode we break down exactly how to build a home gym that works for busy dads - and becomes a family fitness playground your kids will love.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• The 3-tier home gym progression (from $100 starter kit to full setup)
• Why dumbbells + resistance bands might be all you need to start
• How to turn your garage gym into family bonding time
• Which expensive equipment to avoid (spoiler: skip the treadmill)
• Real budget breakdowns from $200 to $2,000+ setups

Whether you're a lifting veteran getting back into it or a complete beginner, this episode gives you the exact roadmap to build a home gym that you'll actually use - and that grows with your fitness journey.

Perfect for dads who want to stay strong, set an example for their kids, and never miss a workout because of logistics again.

Sam and Cole explore one of the most crucial yet overlooked parenting skills: emotional communication. Cole, an expert in grief recovery, explains why most dads default to intellectual responses when their kids and spouses desperately need emotional validation.

What You'll Learn:

• The difference between emotional and intellectual communication - and why most dads miss emotional cues entirely
• Real examples of how intellectual responses leave family members feeling unheard
• Two practical techniques: nonverbal paraphrasing and emotional paraphrasing
• The hidden cost of always "fixing" instead of listening

Your Challenge: Practice identifying whether communications are emotional or intellectual "fastballs vs. curveballs." Before offering solutions, ask: does this person need to feel heard first?

Emotional communication is a practical skill that can save marriages, strengthen father-child bonds, and raise emotionally healthy kids.

Perfect for dads who excel at logic and problem-solving but struggle with the emotional side of parenting and marriage.

This episode explores our personal journeys to sobriety and the role it continues to play in our lives as parents. We believe that every dad should, at the very least, be comfortable with the example they're setting.

In this episode, we talk about how to stay in shape when life gets chaotic—whether it's sickness, sleep deprivation, stress, or travel. We share how our approach to fitness has changed through fatherhood and why a more realistic, long-term mindset matters more than chasing perfection.

In this podcast we talk about how dads can identify and navigate unresolved emotional pain that may be impacting your day-to-day life.

Cole is the owner of the Grief Recovery Institute and has helped millions of people resolve grief and emotional pain.

In this episode we present a simple, proven framework to get started working out from home without any expertise or major equipment.

This podcast started with a simple question: if you died today, would you leave no doubt about the example you set?

In this intro episode we get into what topics we'll be covering in the show, why we're doing this, and some quick intros.