Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex

We're taking a break for Labor Day Weekend and we hope you'll get some rest too. In the meantime, check out these popular episodes from this year:

#595 4 Lies We Believe About Sex 

#603 5 Ways to Navigate Differences & Build a Stronger Marriage

#612 How Your Story Shapes the Way You Approach Sex & Intimacy

We'll be back right here next week. See you then!

We all do it—the little "tests" we give our spouses without ever telling them they're being tested.

Will he notice? Will she remember? Does he even see me? Does she even care?

Maybe it's the party we planned, the extra hours we put in at work, or that new haircut or dress we're hoping they'll notice. We put in the effort…and then quietly wait to see if they pass the test.

And when they don't? Well, let's just say it doesn't always go the way we hoped.

So why do we do this? And is there a better way to get the connection and attention we're really longing for?

Grab your Java and join us for the conversation.

Co-host: Hannah Nitz

We want to hear from you! Did you enjoy this conversation? Leave us a rating & review in your favorite podcast app.

Follow-up Resources:

Finding the Hero in Your Husband by Dr. Juli Slattery

What's It Like to Be Married to Me? And Other Dangerous Questions by Linda Dillow

Blog: Did He Pass the Test? by Juli Slattery

Follow Hannah Nitz at @hannahnitz

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Your sex life shouldn't be the one area of marriage you never discuss.

It's awkward—we get it. And you probably don't think talking about it will help. But research shows that talking about sex is strongly associated with a more thriving sex life. So, how do you actually have the conversation?

This week, Juli walks through five conversations couples should be having about sex. If you've ever thought, "We should probably talk about this…" this episode is for you.

Co-hosts: Hannah Nitz & Josiah Bogue

Follow-up Resources:

Hot Topic Kit: Building a Great Sex Life

God, Sex, and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery

Research cited in this episode is from The Secrets of Sex in Marriage by Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn.

What do you do when your child tells you something that changes everything?

What constitutes abuse? And, when should you report it? 

This week, Juli sits down with trauma expert Dr. Debi Grebenik to talk about how parents can respond when a child has experienced sexual abuse. They discuss what signs to watch for, how trauma affects children, why empathy is more powerful than panic, and how parents can protect their kids while raising them with confidence—not fear.

Guest: Dr. Debi Grebenik

Follow-up Resources:

National Children's Advocacy Center

Java #460, How to Have Mini and Many Conversations About Sexuality with Your Kids

God's Healing Stinks by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Follow Debi at @drdebigrebenik

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

After eight weeks away, Juli is back—and she's sharing what really happened on her sabbatical.

This week, Juli opens her journal and shares the biggest lessons God taught her about burnout, rest, leadership, and learning to live within the limits He designed for us. We also talk about why so many of us struggle to slow down, how Sabbath is more than a day off, and what it looks like to build rhythms of rest into everyday life.

Plus, you'll get a first look at an exciting new vision for Authentic Intimacy and what's ahead for the ministry.

If you've been feeling exhausted, spiritually dry, or like you're running on empty, this conversation is for you.

Guest: Hannah Nitz

Follow-up resources:

Encountering the Radical Love of Jesus by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

5 Secrets to Intimacy With God by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Satisfy My Thirsty Soul by Linda Dillow

This week, Juli and her husband, Mike, share lessons they've learned about navigating disagreements, understanding each other's perspectives, avoiding manipulation, and seeking God's wisdom together. 

Whether you're newly married or decades into your relationship, this conversation will encourage you to build healthier patterns for making decisions as a team.

Follow-up Resources:

Java #603 5 Ways to Navigate Differences & Build a Stronger Marrige with Juli & Mike Slattery

Cruise with Juli on the Love Like You Mean It Cruise! Save $600 per couple on regular cabins or $400 per couple on suites with code JAVAWITHJULI27.

The Very Important Difference Between Conflict & Fighting by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Finding the Hero in Your Husband by Dr. Juli Slattery

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

When you're on the brink of divorce, could separation save your marriage? 

This week, Juli sits down with Dr. Gary Chapman to hear how intentional separation can be an act of love rather than a sign of giving up. You'll learn when separation may be appropriate, why outside counsel matters, and how hope can be rekindled (even in relationships that seem beyond repair).

Whether you're personally facing a difficult marriage or walking alongside someone who is, this conversation offers wisdom, practical guidance, and a reminder that God is always in the business of redemption.

Guest: Dr. Gary Chapman

Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy.

Follow-up Resources: 

Hot Topic Kit: Healing After an Affair

One More Try by Dr. Gary Chapman

Learn more about a marriage Intensive with Hope Restored

Video Q&A: How do I know if my spouse is repentant after a betrayal?

Video Q&A: How do I know if I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship or marriage?

Great sex doesn't happen by accident. 

It takes intentionality. This week, Juli shares four habits of couples who pursue sexual intimacy over a lifetime. From the busy years of raising children to the mundane of everyday life, navigating aging and redefining intimacy over time, they explore how you can pursue deeper connection through every stage of marriage.

Co-host: Hannah Nitz

We'd love to hear your thoughts about this conversation. Leave us a rating and review. 

Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy.

Follow-up Resources:

Cruise with Juli on the Love Like You Mean It Cruise! Save $600 per couple on regular cabins or $400 per couple on suites with code JAVAWITHJULI27.

Want to dig deeper? Check out our Hot Topic Kit: Building a Great Sex Life, or pick up a copy of God, Sex, and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery.

Video Q&A: We Have Sex Regularly, but My Husband Never Seems Satisfied. What Do I Do?

Video Q&A: Sex Has Never Been Pleasurable in Our Marriage. Should I Just Fake It?

Video Q&A: My spouse never wants to have sex. What do I do?

Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz

Follow Authentic Intimacy at  @authenticintimacy

Why does dating feel so much harder than it used to? Is marriage even still worth it? 

This week, Juli and Dr. Brad Wilcox dive into the realities of modern dating, offering practical advice for navigating relationships with wisdom and confidence. They discuss everything from fear of commitment and unrealistic expectations to the importance of community, character, and shared faith.

If you've ever wondered how to navigate today's dating culture, this conversation is for you. 

Guest: Dr. Brad Wilcox

Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy.

Follow-up Resources:

Hot Topic Kit: Healthy Dating & Boundaries

The National Marriage Project

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

The language of sexuality is changing rapidly, and many parents, pastors, and mentors feel overwhelmed trying to keep up.

This week, Juli talks with Dr. Julia Sadusky about what's driving these changes, why so many young people are exploring new identity labels, and why you don't have to toss your convictions out the window in order to stay connected to your kids.

Guest: Dr. Julia Sadusky

Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy.

Follow-Up Resources:

Emerging Sexual Identities: Navigating the Landscape of Today's Youth by Dr. Mark Yarhouse and Dr. Julia Sadusky

When Your Adult Child Makes Sexual Choices You Don't Agree With by Juli Slattery (blog)

Help! I Know I Need to Talk to My Teenager About Sex, But How Do I Do It? by Juli Slattery (blog)

Follow Dr. Julia Sadusky at @drsadusky 

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

What messages have you been told about your body and your sexuality? 

This week, Juli sits down with her friends Dawn Jones and Danisa Suarez for a candid conversation about the unique experiences of Black, Latino, and White women when it comes to the messages they received about their sexuality. They touch on topics like body image, beauty standards, shame, and the pressure women feel to either hide or flaunt their sexuality. 

Guests: Dawn Jones, LPC-S & Danisa Suarez, LPC, CST

Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy.

We'd love to hear your thoughts about this conversation. Leave us a rating and review. 

Dawn Jones' Practice: Legacy Counseling & Consulting

Jorge & Danisa Suarez's Practice: CCI Counseling

Follow Danisa at @danisasuarezoficial

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

What if the challenges in your sex life have less to do with sex and more to do with your story? 

This week, Juli talks with attachment expert Marc Cameron about how our earliest relationships shape the way we approach dating, marriage, and sexual intimacy. Whether you're struggling with emotional distance, differences in desire, recurring conflict, or simply want a deeper understanding of yourself and your spouse, this conversation is for you.

Guest: Marc Cameron, MA, LMFT

Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy.

 Follow-up Resources:

Understanding Your Attachment Style by Marc Cameron

Episode #523 How Past Family Patterns Impact the Way You Love Today with Milan & Kay Yerkovich

Follow Marc at @marc.cameron.mft

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Juli sits down with bestselling author Gary Thomas for a conversation about some of the subtle lies Christians often believe without even realizing it. They're tackling tough questions , like:

Can family become an idol?

Why do we still struggle with sin after coming to Christ?

And what happens when loneliness and isolation become our normal?

While this conversation isn't specifically about sexuality, how we answer these questions shapes the way we approach our relationships. Join us to explore how God's truth can lead us into greater freedom, stronger relationships, and deeper intimacy with him.

Guest: Gary Thomas

Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy.

Follow Up Resources:

The Life You Were Reborn to Live: Dismantling 12 Lies That Rob Your Intimacy with God by Gary Thomas

Ep. #589 Feeling Distant? How to Build Emotional Intimacy in Your Marriage with Gary Thomas

When Your Adult Child Makes Sexual Choices You Disagree With by Juli Slattery (blog)

Follow Gary at @garythomasbooks

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

If you grew up in church in the 90s or early 2000s, you probably received some confusing messages about sex and desire. This week, Juli and Hannah unpack how those messages shaped our understanding of sexuality and purity—and why so many Christians still struggle to say "yes, yes, yes" after years of "no, no, no."

This conversation will remind you that God is not ashamed of your sexuality and invite you into healing, wholeness, and the truth about your sexuality.

Co-host: Hannah Nitz

Become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get a FREE copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy.

We'd love to hear your thoughts about this conversation. Leave us a rating and review. 

Follow-up Resources:

25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask about Love, Sex, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery

Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making? (A 10-Week Study Through the Song of Solomon)

Hot Topic Kit: Building a Great Sex Life

Java #608 Purity Culture, Shame & the Grace of God with Dannah Gresh

What Do I Do With My Sexual Desires? (blog)

Video Q&A: What's the difference between sexual purity and sexual integrity?

Video Q&A: What's the purpose of my sexuality as a single? 

Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz

 Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

This week, Juli, Hannah, and Joe answer one of the hardest questions many of us face: What do I do if my spouse is looking at porn?

This conversation is honest, compassionate, and full of hope. We talk through the pain, shame, confusion, and secrecy that pornography often brings into a marriage—and why healing is still possible for both the person struggling and the spouse who feels hurt and betrayed.

You'll hear practical wisdom on how to find the support you need, why you can't be your spouse's accountability partner, and how true intimacy is about so much more than just changing a behavior.

Whether this struggle has touched your marriage personally or that of someone you love, it's one you'll definitely want to share.

Co-hosts: Hannah Nitz & Joe Caruso

It's book launch week! 🎉🎉 Order your copy of the new 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask about Love, Sex, and Intimacy. Or, become a monthly donor to Authentic Intimacy and get it for FREE! 

Follow-up Resources

25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask about Love, Sex, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery

Hot Topic Kit: Pornography In Marriage

5 Healthy Ways to Respond to Your Husband's Porn Problem (blog)

3 Things Women Want You to Know About Their Addiction to Pornography (blog)

Video Q&A: Is porn sinful?

Video Q&A: Does my spouse watch porn because of me?

Find help and community with any of these trusted ministries:

Be Broken Ministries

Fight for Love Ministries

Hopequest

Pure Desire

Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz

Follow Joe Caruso at @joecaruso06

Follow Authentic Intimacy at  @authenticintimacy

This week, Dannah Gresh shares the personal story behind And the Bride Wore White—one of a few books that launched conversations about purity, shame, grace, and redemption for an entire generation of Christian young people. Together, Juli and Dannah reflect on the wounds many women carry around sexuality, the beauty of God's forgiveness, and why purity was never meant to be about perfection. 

Guest: Dannah Gresh

Join an Authentic Intimacy Online Book Study!

Follow-up Resources:

Pre-order And the Bride Wore White: Seven Truths to Living In Sexual Integrity No Matter Your Past by Dannah Gresh

Q&A: How can I overcome the shame I experience as a result of purity culture? 

Follow Dannah at @dannah_gresh

Follow Authentic Intimacy at  @authenticintimacy

This week, Juli and Hannah tackle the question, Am I entitled to sex—even good or regular sex—in my marriage? 

Drawing on stories, biblical truth, and personal reflection, Juli challenges common assumptions about sex, covenant, and what it really means to love like Jesus did. This episode offers hope for couples navigating pain, unmet expectations, or seasons of healing—and it just might challenge everything you've been taught about sex and marriage. 

Co-host: Hannah Nitz

What are your thoughts on this conversation? We'd love to hear from you! Leave us a rating and review. 

Follow-up Resources:

Check out our new Hot Topic Kit: Building a Great Sex Life

God, Sex, & Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery

How To Go From Demand and "Duty Sex" to True Sexual Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Is Sex Sabotaging Love in Your Marriage? by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Are You Entitled to (Good) Sex in Marriage? by Dr. Juli Slattery (blog)

Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz

 Follow Authentic Intimacy at  @authenticintimacy

This week, Juli sits down with pastor and author Tony Scarcello to hear his story of wrestling with same-sex attraction from a young age, the weight of shame and silence he carried, and how God met him in the middle of it all. 

Some conversations aren't meant to be easy, they're meant to help us grow. This is one of those. Tony's story will challenge you, encourage you, and remind you how deeply we all need the grace of God.

Guest: Tony Scarcello

Online Book Studies are open. Grab your spot today!

Follow-up Resources:

Preorder Love All Our Neighbors: How Churches That Hold a Traditional Sexual Ethic Can Care for LGBTQ People  by Tony Scarcello (available May 19)

Regenerate: Following Jesus After Deconstruction by Tony Scarcello

Follow Tony @tony_scarcello

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

This week, Juli sits down with Joe and Hannah to tackle the question: What do you do when you're attracted to someone who isn't your spouse?

Together, they unpack the reality that attraction outside of marriage isn't a matter of if, but when. From the myth of "soulmates" to the powerful role of brain chemistry, this conversation explores why these feelings happen, and why they don't have to define your choices.

You'll also learn how small decisions, honesty, and intentional investment in your marriage can protect what matters most.

Co-hosts: Hannah Nitz and Joe Caruso

Check out our newest Hot Topic Kit: Building a Great Sex Life

Tell us what you think! Leave us a rating and review. 

Follow-up Resources:

Preorder 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Sex, Love, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery

Be the first to know when Online Book Studies open up

Sexual Attraction Isn't As Important as You Think, Here's Why by Juli Slattery (blog)

Follow Joe Caruso at @joecaruso06

Follow Hannah Nitz at @hannahnitz

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Shame has a way of convincing us to hide. But Jesus doesn't turn away from your shame. He steps toward it.

This week, Juli sits down with Dr. Carol Tanksley and Allie Mazur to shed light on the often unspoken reality of living with an STI. Together, they unpack the weight of shame, the fear of rejection, and the questions that can follow a diagnosis like herpes. 

You'll be reminded that while consequences of sin may linger, they don't have the final word. Jesus meets us right in the middle of our brokenness, offering freedom, healing, and hope. 

If you've ever felt like your story is "too much" or "too broken," this conversation is for you.

Guests: Dr. Carol Tanksley, OBGYN and Allie Mazur

Follow-Up Resources:

Q&A: Are sexual sin and sexual brokenness the same thing? (video)

Q&A: Where do I begin healing? (video)

How to Get Past Shame from Sexual Sin by Juli Slattery (blog)

Dr. Carol Tanksley's website: drcarolministries.com

Follow Dr. Carol at @drcarolt

Allie Mazur's website: livebeyondherpes.com

Follow Allie Mazur at @allie_beyond

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Married sex doesn't just "stay hot"...but you can fan the flames to create something even more meaningful (and longer-lasting) than honeymoon sex.

This week, we're talking about how to keep married sex exciting over the long haul. You'll learn about the shift that happens in long-term relationships, why desire can fade into routine, and what actually helps bring the spark back. 

No theory. No pressure. Just real-life rhythms and practical ways you can reconnect emotionally and physically with your spouse. If you've ever thought "we're good... but it's not like it used to be," this conversation is for you!

Co-host: Hannah Nitz

What did you think of this conversation? We'd love to hear from you! Leave us a comment and review. 

Follow-up Resources:

Preorder 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Sex, Love, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery

Be the first to know when Online Book Studies open up

Join Dr. Jennifer Degler's Dare of the Month email list.

Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz

Follow Authentic Intimacy at  @authenticintimacy

One of you is ready to leave early. The other is still looking for their shoes. Welcome to marriage.

This week, Juli and Mike are on stage at the Love Like You Mean It Cruise! Live and unfiltered, they talk honestly about how their differences have shown up in parenting, intimacy, and their pace of life—and how they've learned to let those differences draw them closer, instead of driving them apart.

Guest: Mike Slattery

Join Mike & Juli on the Love Like You Mean It Cruise in 2027! 

Follow-up Resources:

3 Reasons Women Tend to Take Over in Marriage by Juli Slattery (blog)

Q&A: How can I help my husband grow up and take responsibility? (video)

The Very Important Difference Between Conflict & Fighting by Juli Slattery (blog)

Some wounds don't just live in your memories… they live in your body, in your relationships, and in your sense of safety. 

If you've ever wondered, "Can I be whole after sexual trauma?," you're not alone—and you're not beyond healing.

That's the question Juli is tackling this week. You'll hear why sexual trauma uniquely affects identity and intimacy, how shame and self-blame keep us stuck, and what real sexual wholeness looks like.

This conversation is for anyone who has experienced sexual trauma (or loves someone who has) and is wondering: Is healing really possible for me?

Co-host: Hannah Nitz

Register for the webinar Healing After Sexual Abuse: Practical Guidance for Pastors, Leaders, and Caregivers.

Follow-up resources:

Find a Christian counselor or sex therapist: check out ABCST or MyCounselor.online

Surprised By the Healer by Juli Slattery and Linda Dillow

The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender

Try Softer by Aundi Kolber

God's Healing Stinks by Juli Slattery (blog)

Q&A: Past sexual trauma inhibits my ability to enjoy sex. Is there hope that I can ever heal? with Dr. Juli Slattery

Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz

Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

Their love story made headlines—but not for the reasons you might expect.

In this conversation, CD and Melody Fabien share a completely different vision for dating—one rooted in purpose, boundaries, and hearing God's voice.

If you're tired of hook-ups, ghosting, and the pressure of fast-paced dating, this episode is for you.

Guest: CD & Melody Fabien

Check out our brand-new Hot Topic Kit: Healthy Dating & Boundaries.

Follow-up Resources:

Check out CD & Melody's resources at https://cdandmelody.com/

Watch their news-worthy first kiss.

Q&A: What's the Difference Between Sexual Integrity and Purity? (video)

Q&A: How Can I Steward My Sexuality As a Single? (video)

What Do I Do With My Sexual Desires? by Juli Slattery (blog)

Follow Melody on IG at @melodyfabien

Follow Authentic Intimacy at  @authenticintimacy

Many married couples carry a secret: one of them doesn't like sex—they may even dread it.  For years, sex has felt more like obligation than pleasure, and they've quietly believed something must be wrong with them.

This week, we're tackling the unspoken question: "What if I'm married and I don't like sex?"

We'll talk about the real reasons sex can feel difficult or even painful, and call out a few common lies that keep couples stuck.

If you've ever felt confused, disappointed, or alone in your struggles with sex, this conversation offers hope, practical insight, and the reminder you don't have to stay where you are.

Co-host: Hannah Nitz

We'd love to hear your thoughts about this conversation. Leave us a rating and review. 

Follow-up Resources: 

Be the first to know when Online Book Studies open up

Q&A: Past sexual trauma inhibits my ability to enjoy sex. Is there hope that I can heal? (video)

Q&A: Sex has never been pleasurable in our marriage. Should I fake it? (video)

Preorder 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Sex, Love, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery

God, Sex & Your Marriage by Juli Slattery

Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making? by Juli Slattery

Restoring the Pleasure by Cliff & Joyce Penner 

Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women by Cliff & Joyce Penner

Follow Hannah Nitz @hannahnitz

Follow Authentic Intimacy at  @authenticintimacy