"In weather like this right-thinking people were indoors, in front of the fire, telling stories about heroes."

Aged barbarian Cohen plans to kill a troll in single combat. Instead they find themselves reminiscing about how the Discworld used to be. Andy and PJ harvest PTerry's short story for themes and subtext before casting an eye over Snowgum Films' marvellous 2019 adaptation. There's also a contribution from Arsalan Haider Ali, who has never read Discworld.

To see the video version watch on Spotify or youtube.com/@discworldgnu

And come say hello on our spanking new Bluesky account @discworldgnu.bsky.social

"If there ain't no water in the sea, it ain't the sea," said Nanny Ogg. "It's just a damn great hole in the ground. 

The Witches Trials have come to Lancre and Granny Weatherwax is too well equipped for some. How will she take this news? HOW WILL SHE TAKE IT? PJ and Andy depart from continuity in a podcast without script or structure on this Discworld short from 'A Blink of the Screen'. Which one has their own Weatherwax-level boffo headology? Tune in to find out.

And check out their brand new big things:

Andy's Marenghi-style comedy horror book, Coastlines: After Dark https://book2read.com/coastlinesafterdark

PJ's BBC comedy short with James Martin. Country Rogues, https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0022d39/comedy-shorts-series-1-2-country-rogues

20 years after first messaging online, hosts Andy and PJ meet for the very first time. We interview biographer and comedian Marc Burrows, in Belfast, to debut his 2024 UK tour for 'The Magic of Pratchett'. We review Marc's show, (highly recommended), and talk about its effects on our own reading journeys. And whambam, a follow-up to 'Casting Couch' as we go through reader suggestions! Get a ticket for Marc's live show: https://www.marcburrows.co.uk/live-dates Buy The Magic of Terry Pratchett: https://www.marcburrows.co.uk/s/shop Support our podcast at https://patreon.com/andyluke

Who would you cast in your Discworld TV show? PJ and Andy drop the script and open up their imaginations. Listenings: https://anchor.fm/iveneverreaddiscworld Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldGNU Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworld GNU Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andyluke

"Stories are broken to be made." Terry Pratchett's Witches Abroad is a road trip from The Ramtops, a book about nothing, to Genua, where it all kicks off. Two Northern Irish writers explore a story about stories with the passion of Nanny Ogg, people like her often found in pairs. Newb Andy packs an armoury of props, and PJ knocks back a lot of absinthe. Climb aboard! Listenings: https://anchor.fm/iveneverreaddiscworld Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldGNU Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworld GNU Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andyluke Talking Heads: Papa Legba, re-recorded version from the film True Stories (1986) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u21-p4sTz4w

PJ and Andy go unscripted and laid back to talk about Higgins' and Pratchett's Mort. Andy brings his high-falutin' knowledge of British cartoonists and PJ speaks out on The Best Page In Comic Books Ever. Listenings: https://anchor.fm/iveneverreaddiscworld Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldGNU Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworld GNU Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andyluke

‘I am not sure there is such a thing as right, or wrong, just places to stand.’ 'Western' is the word as the fresh start book club reconvenes in the matters of Bill Door and Windle Poons. Your hosts wrestle with shopping trolleys, Stranger Things, and anti-capitalist readings. RoastyBunz asks about franchises and we witness the return of Tree Time! It's a closnig down slae everythnig must og! Counting Pines and Boquila trifoliolata, via Reddit user, Escapement, https://www.reddit.com/r/discworld/co... Listenings: https://anchor.fm/iveneverreaddiscworld Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldGNU Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworld GNU Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andyluke

"Stan Lee IS Dibbler!" An epic episode for an epic novel. Terry Pratchett pulls on the thread linking King Kong, Gone with the Wind, and Star Trek. Andy loads up with props. PJ swims in film history. Special guest Zach Brown provides linking narration, and there's visuals from designer Kathryn Rosa Miller. Join us, IN A WORLD GONE MAD!!! Links Reach out to us at: https://twitter.com/discworldgnu Zach Brown: https://www.the-voice-guy.com/ Kathryn Rosa Miller: https://www.kathrynrosamiller.com/post/cover-thoughts-discworld Andy's Politics Aloud: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/politics-aloud Andy's Patreon: https://patreon.com/andyluke

"We were told by American preachers in the 80s that Satan was out to get us because... he loved us, loved our souls for loyalty points or diddling or something."

A deep dive into the life and work of Josh Kirby kicks off two Belfast writers considering Eric. So that's seeing time and space, where history meets myth, office hell, and the power of Discworld in domesticity. Which came first: the chicken or the egg sandwich? PJ considers cause and effect, and Andy explains how you can get a radiator key.

Read more about Josh Kirby at Liverpool Museums: https://www.liverpoolmuseums.org.uk/whatson/walker-art-gallery/exhibition/out-of-world-art-of-josh-kirby and https://www.joshkirbyart.com/

Come say hi on Twitter @discworldgnu

"Are you looking forward to the coronation, PJ?"

"I'm looking forward to the dragon."

In which we discuss the familial unit of The Watch as cine noir, police procedural, and post-Python genius. We gush! Bring up the video to see the original artefact related to PJ's tulips story, and Andy's hyper-expressive arm movements for a book he didn't want to finish. You know the password, right?

"It's the old ways versus the new. We've all been there. Raging against our parents and raging against the way things are, when we know things should be different." - PJ

In which PJ and Andy consider home and away through the lens of Egyptian-themed city, Djelibeybi. Names are mispronounced. Time itself is interrogated. Questions are asked about the weight of tradition, and the nature of power.

Come find us on Twitter and Facebook @DiscworldGNU

Email at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com

In which Discworld reader PJ Hart transports Pratchett's Wyrd Sisters into the future to ensure Andy has read it. Peer through the crystal ball for discussion on Shakespeare, state tyranny, the power of story, and the much anticipated return of Tree Time!

Links

Listenings: https://anchor.fm/iveneverreaddiscworld
Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldGNU
Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworld GNU

Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andyluke

Stacks Bookshop https://www.facebook.com/stacksbookshop

Discworld Wikia for Wyrd Sisters: https://discworld.fandom.com/wiki/Wyrd_Sisters
Discworld Reddit Community: https://www.reddit.com/r/discworld/
Garen Ewing: https://www.garenewing.co.uk/logosforshows/artwork/wyrd_sisters.php
Pratchat Podcast: https://pratchatpodcast.com/

Tree Time!

https://www.natureandculture.org/field-notes/walking-palm/
https://www.livescience.com/33663-walking-tree-socratea-exorrhiza.html
https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20151207-ecuadors-mysterious-walking-trees
https://earthlymission.com/the-walking-trees-of-ecuador-they-reportedly-move-up-to-20-meters-per-year/

"Carrot is like Superman" - Andy "Vetinari is like Lex Luthor" - PJ Andy charts his loss of Disc virginity with a five-function diary and PJ reports in on his first time with the Feet of Clay audiobook. The most important man in the city has been poisoned and there's everything to play for. We rave and rant on golems, technology, the working class struggle, trans experiences, gender metaphors, relationships, class, and the psychogeography of Ankh-Morpork. We've got good at this. Deep dives into Cheri, Vimes, Angua and Carrot. Take a drink every time PJ says Jon Culshaw.

"All. Out. Thamaturgical. War."

Newbie Andy opens with a shocking revelation but ultimately plays second banana to Discworldly P.J. and his first reading at how Sir Terry's arm's a-gettin' fits into the Disc-curriculum. Drinking at the Drum there's strong use of the F-word (Fantasy) in chatter about life during wartime, university modernisation, domestic abuse and climate crisis. Ook!

Pratchett at Queen's University UNICON 1989 https://www.facebook.com/groups/belfastsciencefiction/posts/6182301498460625/

Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/discworldGNU

https://facebook.com/discworld GNU

"The moment were Discworld arrives." - PJ

Interrogating Pratchett's classic fan-favourite, the Belfast-casters consider Mort and the outsider perspective, greasy spoons, and how reality looks. PJ waxes lyrical on the rejection of death and body issues. Andy is contrary on everything from big man theory to plot-stuffing, armoured with a statement on how he's probably right.

“She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.”

A couple of old white men try to talk gender politics without embarrassing themselves, while one of them is wearing a witches hat. Also introducing: Andy's Tree Time!

Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com
https://twitter.com/discworldGNU
https://facebook.com/discworld GNU

The Whispering Trees, Smithsonian Magazine https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/the-whispering-trees-180968084/
How trees secretly talk to each other, BBC https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/science-environment-44643177

"I was doing some really explanatory hand gestures there for somebody who wasn't watching the video."

In a special bonus episode, we get into adaptations of The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic. Andy opens a big pack from the Discworld Emporium and talks about the series' place in early 90s comics; and PJ goes full-geek on the 2008 Sky TV movies and his love for David Bradley.

The Spotify/YouTube video version of this cast is recommended for a full immersive experience.

Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/discworldGNU

https://facebook.com/discworld GNU

 Discworld Emporium: https://www.discworldemporium.com/

'Terry Pratchett inspired the GoBots!'

In which Andy has many quotes and sticky notes, and PJ talks about his childhood memories of Discworld. Fairytale realism is discussed, and how Bethan,  Cohen and Herenna overturn fantasy tropes. We wonder if all the wizards are Tories, and consider the apocalypticism of the Disc's red scare.

Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/discworldGNU

https://facebook.com/discworld GNU

https://www.reddit.com/r/discworld/comments/xio7u7/as_promised_the_first_episode_of_ive_never_read/

https://guild.pratchatpodcast.com/index.php?title=I%E2%80%99ve_Never_Read_Discworld

Cover art by Tahir at https://www.fiverr.com/j_graphics12

'It's the fantasy version of The Wire.'

Experienced wizard PJ Hart guides the tourist Andy Luke through the first book in Terry Pratchett's world: a world supported on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown); from the docks to taverns of Ankh-Morpork, to forests, temples and the edge of the world.

Write to us at iveneverreaddiscworld@gmail.com

Linkage: https://www.lspace.org/

https://twitter.com/discworldGNU

https://facebook.com/discworld GNU

‘That’s basically all of opera, reely.’ ‘What? Either dyin’ or drinkin’ beer?’ ‘We-ll…there might be some other stuff. But mostly it’s stout or stabbin.’ The witches return to Ankh-Morpork and a series of killings at the opera house. City Guide PJ Hart leads the way through PTerry's world of ghosts, Greebo and cootie dumplings. First-timer Andy Luke brings his knowledge of operatic motifs and shares a surprising anecdote about the consequences of reading Maskerade, and singing about it. We're on Twitter at https://twitter.com/@discworldgnu Check out Andy's YouTube channel at @AndrewLuke PJ's production, John Meagher: The Divil's Own https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4 Help support the channel at https://patreon.com/andyluke . If you'd like a free trial preview of my Patreon sign up and sign off before the 1st of the month. No hard feelings. Its loaded with prose fic, original comics, poetry, video and podcast previews and more. Usually updated 6 times a month. Thanks to Andy's patrons Ordained Preachers: Sonia Andree, Richard Huang, Ljerka Jemric, Andrew Bolster Company Men: Amanda Rodriguez, Claire Dickson, Dave Cromie and Nerdgeist Philanthropists: Andrew Gallagher, Ian Lawther, Alan Rowell, benchilada Polymath-maker: Arsalan Haider Ali 33rd Degree Bounder of Highest Order: Art K

Two old infirm teachers who who have never read Interesting Times pack up their luggage and head for the Counterweight Continent. In a tale of cowardice and conquest Rincewind Redux comes under the spotlight and runs away from it quickly on a hunt for potatoes. The Silver Horde consider silverware. PJ shares his experiences living and working in Asia. Andy's hard line on avoiding spoilers pays off big time. And we talk all that boring political stuff that you, lets face it, tune in for, probably.

We're on Twitter at https://twitter.com/@discworldgnu Check out Andy's YouTube channel at @AndrewLuke PJ's production, John Meagher: The Divil's Own https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4 Help support the channel at https://patreon.com/andyluke . If you'd like a free trial preview of my Patreon sign up and sign off before the 1st of the month. No hard feelings. Its loaded with prose fic, original comics, poetry, video and podcast previews and more. Usually updated 6 times a month. Thanks to Andy's patrons Ordained Preachers: Sonia Andree, Richard Huang, Ljerka Jemric, Andrew Bolster Company Men: Amanda Rodriguez, Claire Dickson, Dave Cromie and Nerdgeist Philanthropists: Andrew Gallagher, Ian Lawther, Alan Rowell, benchilada Polymath-maker: Arsalan Haider Ali 33rd Degree Bounder of Highest Order: Art K

"The music is alive!" Join us in the green room for a chat about rats music and rockabilly with Ridcully. Rock Dibbler's Cash Bar and roll his meat loaf! Newbie Andy plays up his theory of triquels. Old Hand PJ riffs on interconnectedness and the magic of music. Learn of our teenage misadventures in rock bands and all about Belfast's underground gig venues. It's live! This video is also available on Spotify, but that's cutting me own throat. Leave a comment and let us know how this book, or episode, makes you feel, and share your stories. SOCIALS https://twitter.com/discworldGNU https://facebook.com/discworldGNU https://www.patreon.com/andyluke HOST'S BIG PROJECTS The Devil's Own: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4 338 Seconds Doctor Who: https://youtube.com/@AndrewLuke MENTIONED IN CHAT PTerry on Soul Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yWN55Ltgv8 The Broken Drum 8-Bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx7aYDgkjmo

"When you break rules, break 'em good and hard…" PJ and Andy plunge into Cosgrove Hall's 1997 adaptation of Wyrd Sisters and a simple filler episode becomes an experimental marathon. Rob Rackstraw Vs Christopher Lee: who will win? No, it's a serious question. Watch or listen with us as we talk animation, voice casting, the script, and how Les Dennis blew our minds with his surprise magnificence. NEW SHINY WE MADE FOR YOU Produced by PJ, 'John Meagher: The Divil's Own' at https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4 Produced by Andy, 'Milvian Bridge' at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWtsF2ILa2g FIND THE POD ON THE WEB Listenings: https://anchor.fm/iveneverreaddiscworld Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldGNU Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworldGNU Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andyluke Our show on Wyrd Sisters (the novel) https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/iveneverreaddiscworld/episodes/Book-6--Wyrd-Sisters-e1v7gh1 Be sure to check out two regular new web series, '200 Seconds Sunny' and '338 Seconds Doctor Who' at @AndrewLuke 's YouTube channel.

Diversity. Gonne. Fireworks. Conscripted. Dartboard. Two working Northern Irish writers: Andy Luke, a newcomer to Ankh-Morpork, and PJ Hart, who knows his way round, and MEN AT ARMS, which sees a killer on the loose and massive changes to the Nights Watch. It's a heavy episode measuring Terry Pratchett's fun and innovation against the depths of policing reform, diversity hiring, wolves and identity politics, struggles against the gig economy and the DWP. So get ready to embrace dwarf culture, Leonardo Da Vinci's multitasking and remember, the I've Never Read Discworld podcast now accepts sponsorships from coffee companies. The Clown Face Registry of the UK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc9OcUrU8Bw Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldGNU Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworld GNU Andy's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/andyluke Andy's YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@andrewluke PJ's upcoming BBC Radio 4 show: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yhg4

“Don't try the paranormal until you know what's normal.”

A podcaster olde, a podcaster newe, Granny Weatherwax borrowing, Nanny's Hedgehog song is blue. PJ explains Morris dancing and dismembered dolls. Andy disses The Kids and gets vicious about unicorns. Tune in for our feature presentation, Three Couplings and a Crossbow. Go B.A.!

Twitter: https://twitter.com/discworldgnu

Facebook: https://facebook.com/discworldgnu

Andy's YouTube: https://youtube.com/@andrewluke

Marc Burrows Magic of Pratchett 2024 UK Tour: https://www.marcburrows.co.uk/live-dates

"The Turtle Moves."

WITNESS: as Andy is converted to Small Gods. PRAY: for PJ, refugee from religion's archives. TESTIFY: Small Gods is the novel connecting Grant Morrisson, Deadliest Catch and Geoffrey Chaucer. PRAISE BE to Terry

L-Space: https://www.lspace.org/books/apf/small-gods.html

Andy's YouTube: https://youtube.com/@andrewluke

Small Gods audio, c. BBC.

30 second excerpt in accordance with Fair Use policies.