Having launched the careers of some of the worlds most respected thought leaders, Julie Masters delves into the minds of some of the brightest and most influential players in their space. From CEO’s to FBI hostage negotiators, Julie explores what it takes to build trust and authority in your space, so that you can effectively lead a conversation, an industry or a global movement.
Raj Sisodia explores his journey to Awaken, finding purpose and making a global impact
Saison 1 · Épisode 185
mardi 5 décembre 2023 • Durée 01:07:17
What makes you who you are?
I know that’s a huge, complex question. However, if you think about it – there would have been a few pivotal moments, relationships and possibly conversations that set you on the path you’re on today.
Beyond the path, those moments would have also laid the wiring for how you now react, decide and decode the world around you. Laying the foundations for how you show up in every situation, relationship, and moment of your life.
Today’s conversation is a little different to usual, as it has a very autobiographical feel.
However, although this episode is all about my guest’s lifelong journey, leading to the completion of his latest book, the lessons learnt along the way are universal. Offering a roadmap for anyone who wants to examine and reimagine their life - at whatever age.
Today’s Guest
My guest is a friend of the show - Raj Sisodia. Raj is an acclaimed thought leader, speaker and author. Co-founder of the Conscious Capitalism movement, Raj has written a number of the core texts from that field. Including ‘Firms of Endearment’, ‘Conscious Capitalism’, ‘Everybody Matters’ with past guest and incredible human being Bob Chapman and ‘The Healing Organisation’.
His latest book ‘Awaken: The Path to Purpose, Inner Peace and Healing’ is a guide to leading a life of meaning, purpose and fulfillment. Containing practical advice on how to know yourself, love yourself, be yourself and express yourself from a place of choice – rather than a place of habit.
This is Raj’s second time on the podcast, the first time we dove into his journey starting and leading the Conscious Capitalism movement. This time we go deeper into the moments, events and experiences that led to who he became – and who he chooses to become in this next chapter of his life.
Raj’s definition of what it means to ‘awaken’. Including the acronym ‘LIST’ which he now uses as a roadmap for all his decisions. LIST standing for: Love, Innocence, Simplicity and Truth.
His journey of self-discovery – and the strength it takes to dismantle the parts of our lives and personalities that are no longer working.
How to find the courage to step back when things don’t feel right and the curiosity to ask: ‘Could there be a better way?’
Finally, why our core childhood memories often hold the key to what we most need to re-examine in order to move forward.
A couple of quick notes, this episode contains mention and memories of violence and abuse. As always, I leave it to your instincts to decide what’s healthy for you and any listening ears around you.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of the Inside Influence Podcast! Please head over to iTunes, subscribe to the show, and leave an honest review. Don’t forget to hop on my website juliemasters.com and download my new ebook. The Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter. Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter.
Kemi Nekvapil on the true meaning of power and how to live and lead without apology
Saison 1 · Épisode 184
jeudi 23 novembre 2023 • Durée 01:00:56
When you hear the word ‘power’, what first springs to mind?
Do you immediately think of its absence, the moments you felt ‘power-less’ – or the moments you showed up as the fullest version of yourself?
Is ‘power’ a word or sensation that feels like it belongs to you? Or is it a word that usually belongs to someone else?
My guest today wants to redefine how we think, approach and own the word ‘power’ in our lives.
Today’s Guest
Kemi Nekvapil is one of Australia’s leading coaches for female executives and entrepreneurs. She describes her life’s work as being to ‘empower women to live and lead without apology’.
Kemi is a certified facilitator for Brenè Brown’s ‘Dare To Lead’ program, and also a facilitator for The Hunger Project Australia which works with communities to enable them to realize a future free from hunger and poverty.
She is also a highly sought after international speaker and author who has just published her latest book: ‘Power; A woman’s guide to living and leading without apology’. The book looks at how to navigate the inevitable challenges we face from a place of unapologetic power – in order to show up at the highest possible level.
The true meaning of the word power, and how it’s our definitions of the word – rather than our own innate strength – that keeps us small.
What stops us from stepping into our power. Including all the ways we give our power away, in order to feel a sense of safety and belonging.
The right questions to ask to reclaim your sense of power. In particular, when faced with people and situations that would usually make us shrink.
Why real power is often found in the quiet moments, the small decisions, the micro-choices – rather than the big grand gestures.
References and links mentionedIf you liked this episode, you might also enjoy
Koelle Simpson - Transformational tension: How to sit in the space in between now and what's next
Saison 1 · Épisode 175
mardi 8 août 2023 • Durée 18:05
As the Inside Influence Team and I take a short break to refuel our collective batteries over Summer - or Winter depending on where you are in the world - we’ve got you covered. For the month of August we will be releasing a weekly power cut of our favorite (and your favorite) podcast episodes. A short powerhouse version containing some of our favorite moments. To keep you fuelled and showing up at the next level.Our first powercut is with Koelle Simpson.
Today’s Guest
Koelle Simpson is one of the most highly regarded horse whispers on the planet.
A world-renowned coach and leader of the Equus Coaching Movement. Her work has been featured in O Magazine, BBC Business Report, The National Journal, The OWN Network. She is also a TEDx speaker as well as appearing on many other stages around the world.
The Koelle Institute works with individuals and Fortune 500 organisations to create transformational leadership experiences – all by using the lens of her journey as a horse whisperer - to decode the silent language of authority.
Why silent? Well when it comes to building trust with a wild horse, all the best sales or leadership language in the world isn’t going to help. Charm and charisma don’t work. And raising your voice generally has the opposite effect.
Horses are listening to one thing and one thing alone. Your presence. Your ability to show up fully and yet with calm intent. Your ability to wait and hold space – and yet - still instill trust that you will lead the charge when it counts.
Get it wrong – panic or overcompensate – and you may well meet the wrong end of 1000 pounds of instant feedback.
Which is why, when I first came across Koelle and how she applies the world of horse whispering to leadership presence, I had to know more.
References and linksIf you liked this episode, you might also enjoy
Marion Farrelly - Find your X Factor, turn it up and make it happen
Saison 1 · Épisode 84
mercredi 5 août 2020 • Durée 45:20
“Greetings everyone, my name is Julie Masters and welcome to another episode of Inside Influence. In which I delve into the minds of some of the world’s most fascinating influencers – or experts in influence - to get to the bottom of what it really takes to own your voice - and then amplify it to drive an industry, a conversation, a movement or a Nation.
Now, what if I told you that I could capture your attention in 30 seconds or less. Then convert that attention into engagement so great – that you would voluntarily spend an hour of your day – every day – consuming my product. Then add to that maybe another hour of your day talking about my product to your friends, family, online networks.
And then – and here’s the kicker – what if I told you I could turn that engagement into action - to the tunes of millions of dollars in revenue - in the space of one week? And I would do that by persuading you to spend your own money to vote on the fate of a group of people that you don’t know – in a situation that doesn’t impact you or your life in the slightest? And what if I could do that every week? Week after week. In various different forms. To the tune of 8 billion interactions and counting.
So here’s the question - is that a formula you would be interested in knowing? My answer is a big fat yes.
I’m talking of course about reality television. Now before you roll your eyes, and believe me I get it - let’s get real about the influence it wields. In the UK, more young people voted in the final of Britain’s Got Talent, than voted in the most recent general election. I’ll give you a second with that one. As a content tool, it exists within and shapes more conversations than the news. And as a force – it literally redefined the concept of celebrity and shaped an entire generation of attention spans.
And on that note – I arrive at today’s guest.
Marion Farrelly created, built and produced some of the most influential reality TV shows on the planet. Shows such as The X Factor, Big Brother, Celebrity Apprentice, Dancing with the Stars, The Farmer Wants a Wife. Her content has been watched more than eight billion times worldwide and she’s put more than ten thousand people on stage, who were then watched by hundreds of millions.
Margaret Neale - Getting more of what you want, a blueprint for battle free negotiation
Saison 1 · Épisode 83
mardi 21 juillet 2020 • Durée 01:02:41
Greetings everyone, my name is Julie Masters and welcome to another episode of Inside Influence. In which I delve into the minds of some of the world’s most fascinating influencers – or experts in influence - to get to the bottom of what it really takes to own your voice - and then amplify it to drive an industry, a conversation, a movement or a Nation.
If I asked you to think of a business negotiation, depicted in TV, film, theatre etc. chances are it’s a scene of high drama. It’s a desk-banging, horn-locking, hard-balling battle where someone (usually the most aggressive) leaves with everything and the little guy gets nothing.
Now, if I asked you to think back to the last negotiation you were involved in, I’m guessing it didn’t look much like that. But I bet it still had a feeling of edge to it; an understanding that the available outcomes fit into one of only two camps – what they want – and what you want.
But is this ‘us vs them’ version of negotiation due to the nature of the negotiation process itself? Or the human nature we bring to it?
According to my next guest - this battle orientated framework for negotiation – is as broken as it is ineffective.
Professor Margaret Neale is The Adams Distinguished Professor of Management at the Graduate School of Business at Stanford University – as well as Negotiation Strategies Program Co-Director of the Executive Program for Women Leaders.
Professor Neale’s research focuses primarily on negotiation, and in 2015 she co-authored ‘Getting More of What You Want: How the Secrets of Economics and Psychology Can Help You Negotiate Anything, in Business and in Life’.
This book leverages decades of research to answer questions like: ‘Who should make the first offer?’ and ‘How to create a compelling pitch?’
What I loved about this approach is the definition of negotiation itself – which shifts the focus from a battle mindset – one I’ve never found comfortable or particularly effective - to one of ‘finding a solution to your counterpart’s problem that makes you BETTER OFF than you would have been had you not negotiated’.
Jonah Berger - The Catalyst: How to change anyones mind without having to push
Saison 1 · Épisode 82
mardi 7 juillet 2020 • Durée 46:39
“Greetings everyone, my name is Julie Masters and welcome to another episode of Inside Influence. In which I delve into the minds of some of the world’s most fascinating influencers – or experts in influence - to get to the bottom of what it really takes to own your voice - and then amplify it to drive an industry, a conversation, a movement or a Nation.
Now, some might say, that one of the ultimate forms of influence is the ability to change the mind of someone’s else.
Which shouldn’t be that hard right? Replace fact A with updated Fact B and then done. System overwrite. Opinion changed.
If you’re smiling right now – then I’m guessing you’re with me in that – never once – in my entire career of trying to get ideas adopted and actioned. Have I EVER had that experience.
Generally speaking, and by that I mean pretty much always, if we feel we’re being pushed to do something, we push back. If something new or novel is suggested, our brains automatically pick out every reason it’s a terrible idea before we even CONSIDER it.
Even when confronted with proven evidence that a change is needed research shows that - human nature (in its infinite wisdom) – then makes us MORE determined to double down on our current version of events.
So - when opposition is literally hard wired into our nature – and without access to Yoda and some serious Jedi mind tricks – then then question then becomes – how do you change someone’s mind?
My guest today has spent a career unpacking the hidden forces behind influence.
Professor Jonah Berger is a marketing professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and internationally bestselling author of Contagious,
Chris Bailey - Hyper Focus: How to master distraction and create attention worthy work
Saison 1 · Épisode 81
mardi 23 juin 2020 • Durée 01:15:48
“Greetings everyone, my name is Julie Masters and welcome to another episode of Inside Influence. In which I delve into the minds of some of the world’s most fascinating influencers – or experts in influence - to get to the bottom of what it really takes to own your voice - and then amplify it to drive an industry, a conversation, a movement or a Nation.”
Now, when you listen to this podcast, are you only listening to this podcast? Or when you listen to this podcast, are you cooking? Driving? Working? Working out? All of the above?
Chances are you’re not focussing solely on this podcast. Most likely, you’re doing something else. In fact, when you think about it – when was the last time you shut down all distractions and focused on one thing utterly and completely?
And why am I even asking these questions – what does any of this have to do with influence? The answer is – everything. If there’s one thing I know for sure it’s this – we can have no influence, not over ourselves, our organisations, our networks or our communities – without first mastering the ability to focus.
The most influential people you know are the most focused. I’ll say that again… The most influential people you know are the most focused. They are the most able to tune out the noise and focus on essential signals. And in doing so create a force strong enough to pierce through the noise in other people’s lives – long enough and consistently enough - to create an equally focused following.
Add to that – that there are no shortage of distractions right now. No shortage of screaming elements that are as urgent as they are important. The future of the economy, important social unrest in our societies, a pandemic, the health and wellbeing and continued isolation from our families, educating and entertaining our children at home, trying to keep our jobs and businesses alive – not to mention the ever ready call of social media - just to remind us of everything else we (probably) don’t have the time or bandwidth to even consider adding to our plate.
PLUS – and I will stop soon I promise – there’s this whispering opportunity many of us feel at the moment. The opportunity to look deeply at our lives, our careers, our businesses – and redesign them. For some it’s to include more breaks, more white space and more connection. For other’s it’s transitioning to a business model that will put us and our teams in the strongest possible position for whatever comes next.
Tom Asacker - The Business of Belief: Why desire and truth hold the keys to influence
Saison 1 · Épisode 80
mercredi 10 juin 2020 • Durée 57:58
Greetings everyone, my name is Julie Masters and welcome to another episode of Inside Influence. In which I delve into the minds of some of the world’s most fascinating influencers – or experts in influence - to get to the bottom of what it really takes to own your voice - and then amplify it to drive an industry, a conversation, a movement or a Nation.
=====
I’m sure you, like me and 99% of the population of this planet, would think of yourself as a rational person. The dictionary definition of rational is: ‘based on or in accordance with reason or logic’. ‘Reason and logic’; I’ll take those words – who doesn’t like to think of themselves as logical and reasonable?
Well, I’ve got some news for you – and it’s probably not a surprise. We are not as rational as we think we are. You are not – and I am not.
According to my next guest, most of our day to day decisions are not carefully evaluated, thought through - or weighed-up. But instead based on beliefs, personal preferences and working assumptions – each one cross-checked against our environment, background, desires, feelings and mood at any specific time. And most of that… is done unconsciously without you even being aware. Sound hard to navigate? Unfortunately it is.
As I record this introduction, the aftershock, global protesting and heartbreak following the death in custody of George Flyod – is still very much ongoing. And if that situation teaches us anything – it should be how hard wired, unconscious (and often dangerous) our beliefs systems can be.
But it’s not enough to sit in that knowledge - what comes next is probably the most important question when it comes to understanding influence – what does it take to understand, direct – and in this case – redirect our beliefs into new behaviour?
My guest today has spent a good portion his life studying the gap between what we say is important – and what we actually do - both for individuals, companies and social movements.
Scilla Elworthy - A three times Nobel Peace Prize nominee on non-violent communication
Saison 1 · Épisode 79
mardi 26 mai 2020 • Durée 01:01:14
Greetings everyone, my name is Julie Masters and welcome to another episode of Inside Influence. In which I delve into the minds of some of the world’s most fascinating influencers – or experts in influence - to get to the bottom of what it really takes to own your voice - and then amplify it to drive an industry, a conversation, a movement or a Nation.
Now, at the time of recording and publishing this episode we are still in the grips of the COVID-19 pandemic. Some lockdowns are easing, some are being extended - but wherever you’re at in your lockdown, we are all at a point where it’s something we’ve been dealing with for months - rather than for days or weeks.
For many, or for most in fact, the stress and the strains of those months are very real and there’s a high chance that conflict is a lot more familiar part of your life than it was pre-pandemic. That conflict might be light – children arguing over toys or homework – more intense – as many of us deal with financial and family crisis points – or critical – if – as is the case for far too many - your home isn’t a safe place – and the main emotional and physical dangers lie more within your four walls than outside.
For some people, dealing with – and trying to resolve – conflict - is their life’s work. And it’s one of those people who is my guest for this episode.
Dr Scilla Elworthy was put on her ‘path’ at the young age of 13 - having watched a life altering news broadcast in 1956 which literally jolted her into action. That small moment changed her life, which in turn, helped change the lives of countless others.
Dr Elworthy is best known for founding the Oxford Research Group; an organisation set up in 1982 to develop communication between nuclear weapons policy-makers and their critics - for which she was nominated three times for the Nobel Peace Prize.
In 2003 she left her role there as executive director and set up Peace Direct; a charity which supports peace-makers and peace builders in areas of conflict. She is also a member of the World Future Council, has advised Desmond TuTu and Sir Richard Branson in setting up ‘The Elders’, and wasAwarded the Niwano Peace Prize in 2003.
The Next Right Thing - Brandon Webb on pivots, staying fluid and harnessing with fear
Saison 1 · Épisode 78
lundi 18 mai 2020 • Durée 17:47
Hi – this is Julie Masters and you’re listening to The Next Right Thing – a mini-series from The Inside Influence Team. Designed to provide some actionable certainty in uncertain times. Specifically – and the situation we’re all facing right now – the COVID-19 pandemic.
The idea behind this series is to go out to some of the most popular guests from past episodes of Inside Influence – and ask them one question: ‘What are the most important things you are focusing on right now (tools, ideas, strategies) - or advising your clients to focus on - that you know for sure work in uncertain times?’
The intention being that somewhere in there, you will find inspiration for your next right thing – a point of certainty amidst the uncertainty.
In this episode I speak with… Brandon Webb. Former US Navy SEAL sniper, New York Times bestselling author and Entrepreneur. He has received numerous distinguished service awards - including the Presidential Unit Citation (awarded to him by President George W. Bush), and the Navy and Marine Corps Commendation medal with “V” for valour in combat.
After ending his Navy career, he then went on to embark on an entrepreneurial journey that – first time out of the gate – literally resulted in him losing everything. Undeterred - he dove deep into the pivot and went on to found Hurricane Media - a digital content network now valued at over $100 Million dollars
This episode jumps around a bit but the there's 3 or 4 gold nuggets I want you to listen out for...
In this episode, we talk about mental management Navy SEAL style, getting off the X and staying fluid, drown-proofing (literally a concept that changed my life – professionally and personally) and surrounding yourself with the right people when the terrain gets unclear.
You may notice a fair amount of background noise in this episode – for those of you that are particularly sensitive to that – I totally get it. It’s just the trade off we had to make to get this one out there. Interesting side story…
Finally, how to access your intuition and realize that the greatest power comes from outwardly trusting your inner voice.
For me, the word ‘power’ has shifted in meaning, particularly over the last few years. Previously it had the energy of pushing. Building, creating, showing up, using your voice – changing what needs to be changed. Forcing where necessary.
Yet now, largely thanks to this podcast. That’s fundamentally shifted.
Now when I think about the word ‘power’, when I embody it, when I witness it - the feeling is one of ‘pulling’. Showing up and holding yourself with such clarity, such intention, such gravity. That the right people and situations are quite literally pulled towards you. That to me is real power.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of the Inside Influence Podcast! Please head over to iTunes, subscribe to the show, and leave an honest review. Don’t forget to hop on my website juliemasters.com and download my new ebook. The Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter. Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter.
If you enjoy this powercut episode and would like to hear my full conversation with Koelle Simpson please refer to the link at the end of the show notes, head over to my website juliemasters.com - Episode 124 - or wherever you get your podcasts.
For now sit back, relax and enjoy my powercut conversation with Koelle Simpson.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of the Inside Influence Podcast! Please head over to iTunes, subscribe to the show, and leave an honest review. Don’t forget to hop on my website juliemasters.com and download my new ebook. The Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter. Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter.
She’s worked with everyone from Hollywood A listers to Astronauts, Politicians to Popstars, Cyber Security Specialists and CEOs. Having recognised one thing very early in her career - that the people who were world-class, charismatic and utterly influential, all had one thing in common – The X Factor.
In today’s conversation we get into:
· The X-Factor – what it is, what it looks like and how to harness it from the fist moment – whether in a pitch, a video, or walking onto a stage. Casted over 12,000 people.
· The formula for turning engagement to action; i.e. getting people to ‘vote’ - either with their time, attention or money.
· The power of ‘sticky information’ i.e. how to have the largest impact with the least possible words.
· The A, B, C & D of presenting yourself in the best possible way whenever you’re required to step up.
· How to cut out the white noise; every industry has white noise – the words everybody else uses
· The difference between hoping something will happen – and making it happen.
· And, in what has been possibly the most obvious and yet insightful piece of advice in the history of this podcast. Why the antidote to stage fright is one simple sentence: ‘no one knows what you’re going to say and so therefore, you can’t get it wrong’. Sounds obvious, but believe me it’s worth spending some time with that one the next time you feel any fear around using our voice.
I’ve known Maz for a little while now. Other than being as brilliant as she is wholehearted. The reason I asked her on the show is really simple – I really believe that if you took everything she knows - about the levers behind attention, influence and action – and how to pull them – and then injected it into a brand or political party. It would rewrite the playing field.
Imagine an election campaign so compelling you would pay to vote? Hard right? Hopefully not so hard by the end of this episode.
So, turn on, tune in, put down the hashtags and enjoy my chat with the explosion of energy that is Marion Farrelly...
Why is that important? Not many of us consider ourselves talented negotiators – but most of us, in one area or our lives or another, would get a gold star at problem solving.
In this episode we jump into:
How much preparation you should be doing for each negotiation - chances are it’s a lot more than you think – and here’s a clue – twice as much as you’re doing right now.
The 4 step structure for how to get what you want from a negotiation - including how to tackle most people’s least favourite part: The Ask.
Why – when heading into a negotiation – you should never solve the easy issues first. Why? Because leaving the big hairy stuff until last is the fastest way to end the negotiation in conflict.
The differences between how men negotiate and how women negotiate. This is not only hugely important for women to understand – but for any men who want to better support the women you lead, mentor or love in getting what they have earned – then these insights might change the way you approach it.
And finally, how to move someone out of survival mode and into learning mode – which let’s face it - is the only mode where solutions are found.
Right now, as we try to figure out what comes next in this pandemic - new rules are being written daily and everything about ‘the old way of life’ has the potential to be renegotiated. I know for myself, this sometimes feels like a huge opportunity – and other days like a daunting challenge - but here’s the choice: do you want to approach these negotiations a) ready for conflict Or b) ready to collaborate?
If the answer is the latter - then yeah, me too.
So, sit back, do whatever you need to do to negotiate some time for yourself – no easy feat these days - and enjoy my conversation with the fiercely sharp mind of Professor Margaret Neale.
At the heart of Contagious - which (without overestimating) is a complete must read - is why certain products, ideas, services, and behaviours catch on. While others stay on the side-lines.
The success of Contagious and resulting consulting requests for some of the worlds top tier firms – including Google, Apple, Nike - then led him to another insight. That there are two phases to impact. The first is getting someone’s attention – the second is converting that attention into action.
That realisation - and resulting research - led to his latest book ‘The Catalyst: How To Change Anyone’s Mind’; a counterintuitive approach to initiating change - which isn’t about pushing harder or exerting more energy, but instead lowering the barriers that prevent that change from happening.
· In this episode, we talk about what those barriers are – and how pushing against them, as instinctive as it feels, rarely works.
· We discuss the technique of providing a menu; and why giving someone options allows them to buy in while retaining control. Sounds simple, but apply it and you’ll find this one is a game changer.
· We look at the impact of movements – the role of protests - and the what next when it comes to harnessing attention into action.
· And finally, one for the world we currently find ourselves facing: How to lift the handbrake of uncertainty. Allowing people to experience what you’re offering, by temporarily removing the risk involved in changing their mind.
At this point I would usually provide a menu of ways to enjoy the podcast – along with some suggestions of what to reflect on – but in the spirit of this episode – I’ll leave that up to your own free will.
Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing – I hope you enjoy my conversation with the incredible Professor Jonah Berger....
So – have I made my case yet? Focus and how we deal with distractions has everything to do with influence.
My guest today has been making this case for over 15 years.
Chris Bailey believes in a ‘human’ approach to productivity and focus i.e. no spreadsheets in sight. A fact that makes me truly happy.
His fascination with focus first led him to dedicating a year after college – turning down a number of job opportunities – in order experiment with productivity. Primarily using himself as the guinea pig. These experiments included.... working a 90 hour week, watching 70 hours of TED talks in 7 days, and making himself bored for a month to see where his mind wandered. All this, with the aim to learn and share how we can focus more deeply, overcome procrastination and energise ourselves in the process.
The result of this 12 months was his first book ‘The Productivity Project: Accomplishing More by Managing Your Time, Attention, and Energy’. The book was a huge success, but then Chris noticed something – that his old unfocused habits were starting to creep back in – particularly when it came to technology. This led to his second book – the manual he needed and couldn’t find: ‘Hyperfocus: How to Be More Productive in a World of Distraction’.
In this episode – the conversation I needed but previously hadn’t been able to find - we dive into…
1. The one thing that we (i.e. I) wanted to hear the most. That it’s not our fault we’re distracted. Apparently, we’re hard wired for novelty (for reasons we’ll get into) and that every time we discover a new and novel thing – hello social media - our brain gives us an addictive hit of dopamine. So, if you can give yourself a pass for that, and be kinder to yourself in those moments, that’s the first step to a better attention span.
2. Following on from that, how to embrace the break. That includes learning to read your own cues about when it’s time to take a break. And by the way, looking at your phone is not taking a break. Sorry about that.
3. The rule of 3. This is one of Chris’ top focus tips - each morning, he picks three intentions for the day - out of the many he has on his plate, and gets them done.
4. How not to fear White Space (another word for the ‘in-between time’ we often avoid or try to fill with stimuli). And how harnessing that space, that pause, is the key to becoming a more effective decision-maker.
5. And finally, the joy of email sprints – which I can promise you does not require active wear, but does get that never-ending monkey of your Inbox off your back.
So, no more distractions from me, time to press pause on whatever you’re doing - or at least one of the things you’re doing - and get set to consider a new way of working with the ‘force of focus’ that is Chris Bailey....
A speaker, writer and advisor - Tom Asacker takes a different approach to creating momentum, and that approach is all about belief, desire and the physics of action. He has worked with Fortune 500 companies, co-founded a high-tech medical device company - won the George Land Innovator of the Year Award – and is now the author of ‘The Business of Belief’ focusing on the hidden logic of behaviour.
In today’s conversation we talk about....
· How to close the gap I mentioned earlier – taking your team, your community or yourself from ‘talking the talk’, to ‘walking the walk’.
· Why as a leader you have to embrace the desires and beliefs of those you are trying to influence – especially when the horizon is uncertain. And I don’t mean just acknowledge those beliefs (which actually was a shift in my thinking), but instead find a place where you can authentically own them as your own.
· How to get over the past experiences and stories that impact how you show up - so you can arrive at a situation open, but still armed with certainty.
· And why it’s physically impossible to hit a baseball – I know this sounds like this would have nothing to do with influence – but it has everything to do with waiting for the right moment… vs. swinging with intent and trusting you have the muscle to follow through when the angle becomes clearer.
What I want you to reflect on in this episode is how hidden and hard wired our beliefs can be. We are complex and multi-dimensional beings – who bring our entire history and belief system with us to any table or conversation. However, by accepting that - and by committing to the excavate – understand – and work with someone’s beliefs – including our own – we start to walk the fastest and most powerful road to influence that I know.
So, take a seat, let the logical world go for awhile – hard as that is right now - and open your mind to the thoughts and (ever flexible) beliefs of Tom Asacker.
Today her full attention is on developing Business Plan for Peace - resulting in her 2017 book The Business Plan for Peace: Building a World Without War .
Her latest booklet - which has literally just been released – is called: ‘The Mighty Heart: How to transform conflict’. It takes the experience of people who have been preventing and resolving conflict for decades; some on the front-line, others within families or schools. And distils their experiences into practical, non-technical advice on how build your own mighty heart.
So what’s a mighty heart? Put simply, it’s having the courage to meet conflict with compassion, curiosity – and unshakeable presence.
How do we do that? Keep listening. In this conversation we dive into:
· How to deal with a bully without becoming a thug yourself, and how to overcome violence in all its forms without resorting to force.
· Why it’s important to realise that whilst it’s okay to be angry at ‘the thing’, it’s not okay to be angry at the person who holds the opposing view on that ‘thing’; get mad at ‘the thing’ together and resolve it.
· Self intervention - how to take a step back when we feel too close to the trigger point - very important this one, and very relevant for these times.
· How to take a stand clearly and calmly – and with full gravity - so you are not dismissed. Quick Tip - it’s important to literally take a ‘stand’.
· And how we build certainty through self enquiry. Especially in those 3am moments. One of my favourite moments in this conversation is listening to how Scilla – literally – deals with her dragons when they arrive at 3am.
For me – speaking to Scilla was both a deep honour and reminder that the most powerful forms of influence are not force, aggression or interruption. Which I know sometimes is a hard truth to hold onto.
In the long run of history – or any relationship - the only lasting genuine peace always comes from a willingness to firstly show up – for ourselves before anyone else. Then to get curious about both sides of the story – even when that feels impossible. And finally, in the decision to fiercely and compassionately hold our ground – even (and especially) in the moments when our knees shake and our voices break.
Writing this introduction actually sent me off in search of a poem I hadn’t read in years, it’s by Rumi and it’s the closest (and shortest) summation of the beginnings of peace that I have ever found: “Out beyond the ideas of right and wrong there is a field – I will meet you there’.
So, find whatever resembles a peaceful place for you right now - and enjoy my conversation with the truly indescribable, Dr Scilla Elworthy...
If you want to dig even further into Brandon’s genius – you can also hunt down our previous conversation - which I believe is episode No. 38.
But for now, and as always with these episodes – and all of the Inside Influence conversations come to think of it - I hope somewhere in here you find the fuel you need for your next right move.
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