In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast – Détails, épisodes et analyse

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In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast

Leigh Norén | Sex Therapist and Relationship Expert

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Fréquence : 1 épisode/20j. Total Éps: 25

Sex advice is everywhere - but how much of it is rooted in or science, or reality? I’m Leigh Norén, sex therapist and host of In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast, where we take findings from the research lab and make them helpful, and actually applicable to your sex life & relationship.

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Données mises à jour le 14/09/2026

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Stop Trying to Recreate the Honeymoon Phase — Do This Instead (Why Desire Fades in Long-Term Relationships)

mardi 1 septembre 2026 • Durée 22:09

When couples have been together for years, boredom can start to feel like something you have to accept. You love each other, but somewhere along the way, you start wondering whether the spark left because your partner became boring — or because the relationship did.

In this episode, I dig into a study on self-expansion that offers a solution to that bordeom: curiosty. And the longer you've been together, the more important it may be to keep creating moments where you get to experience each other in new ways.

We explore:

Why knowing your partner so well can sometimes get in the way of wanting them
Why trying to recreate the honeymoon phase usually doesn't work — and what to do instead
How self-expanding activities can support desire and satisfaction in long-term relationships
What “doing something new together” can actually look like without grand gestures, weekends away, or turning your life upside down
The catch: why one interesting date night won't carry your desire for months, and what long-term desire requires over time

Timestamps:

02:14 — What the research found

05:54 — Why curiosity matters in long-term relationships

08:44 — Novelty beyond sex and techniques

14:16 — Why this matters more in longer relationships

19:49 — Small ways to bring aliveness back

The study in this episode:

Broadening Your Horizons: Self-Expanding Activities Promote Desire and Satisfaction in Established Romantic Relationships

Published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology by Muise, Harasymchuk, Day, Bacev-Giles, Gere, and Impett.

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

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A Doctor Asks a Sex Therapist: Married at First Sight, Low Desire & What She Really Does All Day

mardi 11 août 2026 • Durée 45:11

This week's episode is a little different. I sat down with my cousin — Dr. Chloe Vites, a GP (doctor) based in the UK — and let her ask me all the questions people usually ask me at parties, on flights, and in the DMs.

Things like: Why I became a sex therapist. What I actually do in session. What it was really like filming Married at First Sight: Sweden. And the things I wish couples knew before it's too late.

In this episode, we explore:

The moment at 17 that made me decide this was going to be my career
Why I chose to specialise in low desire — and what most people get wrong about who actually struggles with low libido
What it was really like filming Married at First Sight: Sweden (GIft vid första ögonkastet) as one of three experts, and the parts that surprised me most
The biggest myth about desire — and why the most common assumption keeps couples stuck for years
What I wish couples in crisis knew (and why I really wish they wouldn't)
How I talk to my own kids about sex — and important steps not to skip
The hardest part of my work — and it isn't the topics you'd expect

01:16 — Why I became a sex therapist

03:51 — Specialising in low desire

06:28 — What sex therapy is really like

08:31 — Filming Married at First Sight Sweden (GVFÖ XL)

10:59 — The easiest & hardest parts of the job

15:59 — Being a female therapist with male clients

20:31 — How people react when they know my job (in dating & with acquaintances)

23:59 — The hardest conversation about sex for couples

28:02 — Talking to kids about sex (& how I talk to my own about it)

Non-Monogamy vs Monogamy: Who's Really Happier?

mardi 14 juillet 2026 • Durée 23:04

We've been taught that monogamy is the default because it's more satisfying, more "natural". But what if that's not actually what the research says?

In this episode, I dig into a major new meta-analysis of 35 studies and nearly 25,000 people that compared relationship and sexual satisfaction across monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. The findings challenge a lot of what we've assumed — and what culture has been telling us for a very long time.

If you've ever wondered whether opening up your relationship might fix a mismatched desire problem — I talk about why that question matters less than the reason you're asking it, from a sex-therapist lens.

We explore:

What a meta-analysis of nearly 25,000 people found about satisfaction in monogamous vs non-monogamous relationships
The uncomfortable truth about why we elevate monogamy — and what it protects us from having to look at
How non-monogamous individuals reported slightly higher trust, and what monogamous couples can learn from how non-monogamous relationships define boundaries
When opening up a relationship can be running away from the problem — and how to tell the difference
What actually predicts satisfaction in a long-term relationship

Timestamps:

02:51 — Opening up as a fear response

03:49 — Main findings from the study

08:27 — Monogamy doesn’t guarantee safety

10:46 — Is it okay to flirt & where does the line go?

14:59 — Why opening up may not solve the real issue

17:48 — What predicts relationship satisfaction

The study in this episode:

I Tried Everything And It Was Never Enough | Mismatched Libidos

mardi 2 juin 2026 • Durée 27:10

A listener wrote in describing herself as a "well-scraped peanut butter jar" — nothing left to give sexually, and tired of trying.

She'd had sex four days a week, spent evenings cuddling and massaging, and offered every kind of intimacy she could think of. Yet every week still brought sulking, silent treatment, and rejection tears.

After two months of no sex, the pressure finally stopped — so she asked me: why would I ever go back?

In this episode, I unpack what that relief is really telling us — and where to go from here.

We explore:

Why the relief of not having sex is usually relief from the pressure surrounding sex — and why that distinction is important
How sulking, silent treatment, and emotional withdrawal are all examples of unhealthy relationship communication behaviours, and how they can make it impossible to say yes to sex freely
What happens when sex becomes a partner's primary way of feeling loved and important — and how that puts unsustainable pressure on the other person
The questions I'd ask if I were working with this couple, including when sex became this loaded and what the relationship looks like outside the bedroom
What happens when sex becomes a partner's primary way of feeling loved — and the pressure that puts on the other partner
The questions I'd ask if I were working with this couple, and why I wouldn't start with "how to get you to want more sex"

Timestamps:

01:46 – The Listener's Question

02:24 – Why You're Depleted (And Why That Makes Sense)

04:18 – "Why Would I Ever Go Back?" — The Real Question

05:20 – The Relief Isn't About Sex — It's About Pressure

06:12 – What the Absence of Fighting Really Means

The Hidden Reason You’re Struggling to Orgasm With Your Partner

mardi 19 mai 2026 • Durée 09:59

Difficulty orgasming isn’t always about you. At least, not in the way you might think.

In this minisode of In Bed with Science, I’m talking about one of the less discussed reasons orgasm can become harder with a partner: when your orgasm starts to feel like proof that they’re good at sex.

Orgasms aren’t gifts.

And when your partner’s care, effort or disappointment becomes part of the experience, pleasure can quickly turn into pressure.

In this episode, we explore:

Why “giving” someone an orgasm can be an unhelpful way to think about sex
How a partner’s investment in your orgasm can make it harder to relax
Why pressure and self-monitoring can get in the way of pleasure
What to do when orgasm has become the goal of sex

Your orgasm isn’t a performance review of your partner’s skills. And it isn’t the only proof that sex was good.

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

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AI Vs. Therapy for Low Libido: I Put It To The Test

mardi 5 mai 2026 • Durée 33:26

AI is being turned to as a replacement for therapy. As a sex therapist who specialises in low libido, I wanted to know - can it actually help with something as nuanced as low sex drive in a marriage?

So I put it to the test. I pretended to be a typical client of mine - a woman in a long-term relationship, struggling with low desire and shame around her turn-ons - and turned to both a trained mental health bot and ChatGPT to see what they got right, what they got wrong, and what most people would never notice was missing.

We look at what the research says about AI's accuracy in sexual & mental health, why feeling understood isn't necessarily the same as actually being understood, and where AI genuinely helps versus where it might make things like low libido and relationship issues worse.

In this episode, we explore:

What the research reveals about how AI chatbots actually perform on sexual health and therapy scenarios
The results of my own experiment pretending to be a client struggling with low sex drive and shame around what turns her on
How AI tends to over-validate, skip the questions a sex therapist would ask, and offer solutions before it knows you
How AI can sneakily reinforce the very patterns that create low desire and sexual problems in marriage in the first place
When AI is a useful thought partner for relationship and sex issues, and when it falls short of what real therapy does

02:44 - My Bias as a Therapist (Let's Be Honest) 06:13 - What the Research Says: AI Chatbot Studies 08:20 - The Experiment: Testing an AI Therapy Bot 11:46 - Test 1 – The Mental Health Bot 13:24 - Test 2 – ChatGPT 20:04 - What ChatGPT Got Wrong 22:03 - Why AI Can't Replace the Therapeutic Relationship 25:54 - AI vs. Self-Help Books: Is It the Same? 31:24 - Final Takeaway: When AI Helps & When It Falls Short

Today's studies:

‘Men Will Have Sex With Anything’? A Sex Therapist Breaks Down the Harmful Myth

mardi 21 avril 2026 • Durée 05:50

We've all heard it before: "Men always want sex". They’re simple and always raring to go.

As a sex therapist specialising in low libido and mismatched desire, I know the toll these kinds of myths can take on the individual and the relationship at large.

In this minisode, I break down one of the most common myths about male sexuality — and how it contributes to low desire, performance pressure, and shame.

Interested in my services? Check them out here

Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.

Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

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Low Sex Drive in Women & Mindfulness, with Dr. Lori Brotto

mardi 7 avril 2026 • Durée 55:27

Low desire in women is often treated as a hormonal problem or a relationship one.

But what if the problem isn’t low libido persay, but rather a lost connection to your body?

In this episode, I talk to psychologist and leading sex researcher Dr. Lori Brotto about the science of mindfulness and why it’s become one of the most effective psychological treatments for low desire and arousal in women.

We discuss how mindfulness improves sexual wellbeing, why physical arousal and mental desire don’t always match, and why pills designed to “fix” low desire often fall short.

We explore:

What mindfulness actually is — and why it’s often misunderstood
Why improving body awareness (interoception) can influence desire
The research behind mindfulness-based sex therapy
Why physical arousal and mental desire don’t always align
The limits of medications designed to treat low desire
The role of shame and self-criticism in sexual difficulties
Why relationship therapy alone often doesn’t resolve sexual problems
Where to start if you’re curious about using mindfulness to reconnect with desire

02:31 - How Dr. Lori Brotto Got Into Sex Research

05:29 - What Is Mindfulness, Really?

14:34 - How Mindfulness Works for Low Desire

18:11 - Arousal Non-Concordance (& Why It Matters?)

21:49 - The Problem with Pharmaceutical Solutions

24:59 - Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire

29:22 - Why Relationship Therapy Alone Often Isn't Enough

30:46 - The Mirror Exercise & Confronting Shame

Why We Have Sex We Don't Want (& How To Approach it)

mardi 3 mars 2026 • Durée 31:34

Sometimes low libido doesn’t look like avoiding sex. Sometimes it looks like having sex you didn’t really want in the first place.

In this episode, I talk about something that’s far more common than most of us realise: saying yes to sex in a committed relationship even when you’re not really in the mood.

It's about the kinds of moments where you agree because it feels easier than arguing, because you don’t want to disappoint your partner, or because you hope you’ll “get into it” once you start.

We look at what the research says about why we do this, when it’s more neutral, and when it reduces desire and closeness further - or becomes harmful.

Toward the end, I share a simple reflection exercise to help you understand your own “yes” — and whether it’s something that it's helpful, or costing you something.

In this episode, we explore:

Why saying yes to unwanted sex is incredibly common in long-term relationships
The difference between saying yes because you want connection — and saying yes to avoid conflict or guilt
The subtle forms of pressure that don’t look like pressure
When and why sexual compliance can sometimes lead to positive outcomes, and why it more often leads to negative outcomes.
A guided, free exercise to work out your own 'yes'

02:20 - What Is Sexual Compliance?

05:37 - Today's Research Paper: How Common Is Unwanted Sex?

07:03 - Why People Say Yes: Approach vs. Avoidance Motives

09:35 - It's About Power

11:29 - The Mental Load & Desire Connection

ADHD, Autism & Sex: Why Sex Feels So Hard, with Dr. Bowen Marshall

mardi 3 février 2026 • Durée 01:04:57

For many neurodivergent people, sex becomes draining or disconnected over time, even when there’s desire and care underneath it all.

Sex can start to feel like something you’re being evaluated on — rather than something you get to enjoy.

In this episode, I talk with licensed counsellor Bowen Marshall about how ADHD, Autism, masking, and performance expectations affect our sex lives — and why so many people end up feeling like they need to "get sex right", instead of actually feeling pleasure.

We specifically talk about:

Attachment patterns and sex
Why sex can start to feel like performance rather than pleasure
How masking and self-monitoring undermine sexual connection and pleasure
The role dopamine plays in desire, arousal, and motivation
Why many people don’t know what they enjoy — and why that’s not a failure
How expectations around sex create pressure and anxiety
What it can look like to shift focus from “doing it right” to what actually feels good

Chapters:

1:48 - Introducing Bowen Marshall 4:02 - Bowen's Journey into Specializing in Neurodivergence 9:54 - Understanding Masking & Attachment Theory 17:57 - How Masking Shows Up in Relationships 22:42 - The Hot Stove Analogy: Understanding ADHD Challenges 28:55 - Sexual Challenges with ADHD & Autism 33:34 - Performance vs. Connection: When Sex Becomes a Test 38:08 - Dopamine, Motivation & the ADHD Brain 42:41 - Sex, Dopamine & Competing Sources of Pleasure 47:57 - P*rn vs. Partnered Sex: The McDonald's vs. Michelin Analogy 52:43 - Using Kink Language for Better Communication 57:11 - Final Advice: Finding What Feels Good 59:37 - Where to Follow Bowen Marshall 1:00:03 - A Sex Therapist's Reflections: Expectations & Presence 1:05:45 - Closing & Resources

Interested in my services?

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In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Détails du podcast

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