Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Dr. Maria Sophocles, gynecologist, sexual medicine expert, women’s health advocate, and author of The Bedroom Gap, for a conversation about women’s sexual health, hormones, menopause, aging, and pleasure.

What really happens to your vulva as you age? How do estrogen and testosterone affect your libido, energy, memory, vaginal health, and ability to enjoy sex? And why are so many women still struggling to get answers about their own bodies?

In this episode of In Bed With Alexa, Alexa and Dr. Maria unpack the science, misinformation, and often-overlooked realities of female sexual health: from changes in the vulva and vagina to hormone therapy, pelvic floor health, and why your sex life can actually get better with age.

TOPICS DISCUSSED:

• Vulva anatomy and what’s normal: Labia asymmetry, vulva diversity, body image, cosmetic labiaplasty, and how unrealistic porn standards can shape insecurities about genital appearance.
• The clitoris and sexual education: The internal anatomy of the clitoris, its nerve endings, why it has been overlooked in medical education, and the lack of research into women’s sexual health.
• Sexual health stigma and patient questions: Common concerns about genital anatomy
• How the vulva changes with age: Collagen breakdown, loss of fat, changes in pubic hair, reduced sensation, diminished blood flow, and changes in the appearance of the labia.
• Vaginal dryness and vaginal atrophy: How declining estrogen affects blood vessels, tissue elasticity, natural lubrication, and comfort during sex.
• Vaginal and vulvar treatments: Vaginal estrogen, vaginal testosterone, DHEA, CO2 laser treatments, vulvar serums, barrier creams, and fillers for vulvar volume.
• Labia minora shrinkage after menopause: Why the labia can become thinner over time, how this may affect sexual sensation
• Menopause and hot flashes: Why hot flashes happen and hormonal and nonhormonal approaches

• Muscle mass, strength, and sexual function: Why strength training, flexibility, mobility, and balance matter for sexual activity, healthy aging, and longevity.
• Menopause and cholesterol: Why LDL cholesterol can rise during menopause
• Testosterone in women: its potential roles in libido, energy, memory, spatial recognition, mitochondrial health, and lean muscle mass.
• Low testosterone symptoms and testing: Fatigue, low desire, brain fog, mood changes
• Testosterone treatment and potential side effects: Off-label treatment, monitoring hormone levels, acne, unwanted facial or body hair, mood changes, voice deepening, and clitoral enlargement
• Hormone replacement therapy (HRT): Systemic versus topical estrogen, the role of progesterone
• Hormones and cancer misinformation: Breast cancer risk, estrogen-related concerns, the difference between correlation and causation
• Osteoporosis and the long-term effects of menopause: Bone health, delayed treatment, and why women should discuss their options rather than dismissing hormone therapy based on fear
• HPV, cancer prevention, and vaccination: HPV’s links to cervical, anal, and throat cancers, HPV vaccination
• Sex and intimacy as you age: Why sexual satisfaction can improve with age, letting go of performance pressure, and embracing intimacy and pleasure at every stage of life.
• Rethinking pleasure and productivity: Why sexual pleasure deserves a place in your life

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice. Discuss hormone therapy, medications, supplements, and treatment options with a qualified healthcare professional.

Follow Dr. Maria:Instagram: @mariasophoclesmd

Website: https://mariasophoclesmd.com

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online

Sponsor:

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/alexa 

Are our dating standards keeping us single? Are we too quick to label people toxic, narcissistic, or full of red flags? Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex therapist and author Todd Baratz for a conversation about modern dating, sex, intimacy, relationship anxiety, and why finding a healthy relationship might require us to rethink everything we’ve been taught about love.

Does a healthy relationship mean never having doubts or never going to bed angry? Todd challenges popular relationship advice and explains why real connection requires vulnerability, curiosity, discomfort, and the willingness to do the work.

Topics discussed:

• Modern dating and disconnection: How social media and wider cultural changes influence connection, intimacy, and the way we relate to each other.

• Vulnerability and emotional intimacy: Why opening up feels so difficult, how our defenses protect us from rejection, and why emotional closeness requires ongoing self-work.

• Dating standards and the search for the perfect partner: How unrealistic expectations and the pursuit of an ideal relationship can shrink your dating pool.

• Red flags, dealbreakers, and dating anxiety: Whether political differences, wanting children, lifestyle preferences, and other incompatibilities should determine who gets a chance.

• Entitlement, self-worth, and reciprocity: What we deserve in relationships and why healthy relationships require collaboration rather than one-sided demands.

• Couples therapy and emotional labor: What happens when one partner is ready to work on the relationship and the other resists.

• Relationship doubts and the fear of commitment: Why doubt is a normal part of making choices and why you don't need to feel 100% certain about your partner.

• Closure and heartbreak: Whether closure is necessary to heal, how to process grief without someone else's apology, and why the popular advice “if they wanted to, they would” can create more disconnection.

• Why the right relationship can trigger you: How intimacy brings unresolved childhood wounds to the surface, why the real question is how partners respond to conflict, and how repair and emotional safety distinguish a challenging relationship from a harmful one.

• Therapy speak and performative healing: Why words like “boundaries,” “attachment,” “triggered,” “holding space,” and “narcissist” can lose their meaning when they're used to avoid vulnerability rather than create genuine connection.

• Trauma, anxiety, and self-awareness: Why understanding your history is not the same as feeling and processing it, why we may need to worry less, and how to stop turning every difficult experience into an intellectual exercise.

• Therapy, self-help, and doing the work: Why practical steps such as therapy, books, and relationship resources can help us grow, and why insight alone doesn't automatically change our behavior.

• Authenticity and being yourself: Todd's perspective on showing up as a real person rather than performing a polished therapist persona, the pressure to maintain different identities at work and in relationships, and why humor, honesty, and imperfection matter.

• Todd's personal struggles and growth: His experiences with being single, solitude, relationship challenges, heartbreak, self-care, and decades of therapy and how he handles difficult emotions without beating himself up.

• Discomfort, shame, and curiosity: Why learning to tolerate uncertainty, asking more questions, challenging rigid thinking, and becoming more open to other people can create deeper connections.

Follow Todd:Instagram: @yourdiagnonsense

Website: www.toddsbaratz.com

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online

Sponsor:

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/alexa 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Carly from Read Aurore to talk about why affairs, cheating, secrecy, and other taboo desires can be so damn hot.

What makes an affair feel so passionate? Why does forbidden sex create such intense desire? And can cheating ever be understandable—or even acceptable—depending on the circumstances? Alexa and Carly get into the complicated psychology of infidelity, including why people cheat, why an affair isn't necessarily about the person being cheated on, the power of secrecy and feeling chosen, and why affairs between two people who are both in relationships can feel more equal than an affair between a partnered person and someone single.

Topic discussed:

• Affairs and infidelity: why affairs happen and why they're sexually appealing
• Cheating and relationship agreements
• Whether you should tell someone their partner is cheating
• The “what you don't know can't hurt you” debate
• The ethics of being the other person in an affair
• Married people cheating with single people
• Why people having affairs often don't leave their primary relationships
• The idea of financial compensation in an affair 
• Esther Perel and The State of Affairs
• Cheating in abusive or neglectful relationships
• Cheating when a partner is sick or disabled
• Sexual needs within long-term relationships
• Sexual incompatibility
• Sex workers and whether hiring one constitutes cheating
• Defining what “cheating” means in a relationship
• Porn as a potential form of cheating
• Open relationships and the possibility of cheating within them
• Public sex/public play
• The thrill and risk of getting caught
• Sex in semi-public places
• Privacy, consent, and the ethics of public sexual behavior
• Being walked in on during sex
• Consensual/role-play affairs
• The fantasy of secrecy without actual betrayal
• Hotel rooms and sneaking around
• Fear of getting caught
• Feeling chosen/special through an affair
• Novelty and new relationship energy

Follow Carly:Instagram: @readaurore

Website: www.readaurore.com 

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified holistic sexuality educator and embodied intimacy & relationship coach Lauren Elise Rogers for a deeply honest conversation about sexual trauma, healing, pleasure, intimacy, consent, and reclaiming your relationship with your body.

In this episode:

• Sexual trauma and sexual assault
• Consent and coercion
• Why sexual trauma can be underreported
• Shame and sex-negative culture
• Rape culture and normalizing sexual harm
• Victim vs. survivor language
• Why healing is not linear
• Trauma, fear and helplessness
• Processing an experience after it happens
• Talking to a safe person after trauma
• Trauma and the body
• Accountability and taking responsibility
• Apologies and relationship repair
• Defensiveness and ego after causing harm
• Listening to impact instead of defending intent
• Asking curious questions
• Communication and empathy
• Sex educators and trauma therapists working together
• Pleasure as part of healing
• Reclaiming intimacy after sexual trauma
• Sex after sexual assault
• Pelvic-floor responses and sexual tension
• Triggers and nervous-system responses
• Neural pathways and creating new experiences of safety
• Somatic healing and body-based responses
• Shaking, movement, dancing and laughter
• Orgasm and pleasure
• Play as a healing modality
• Trauma becoming connected to erotic arousal
• Forgiveness vs. reconciliation
• Boundaries after harm
• Self-forgiveness
• Healing within healthy relationships
• Time, memory and healing
• Why healing doesn't necessarily mean never being triggered
• Reclaiming pleasure, agency and identity
• Building a life beyond simply “surviving”

Follow Lauren:Instagram: @sex_ed_for_you

Website: www.sexedforyou.com

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online

Sponsor:

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2638-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator, event planner and author Niki Davis for a conversation about sexual shame, uncommon desires, kinks, fetishes, fantasies, self-pleasure, relationships and the psychology of arousal.

Why do so many people feel ashamed of what turns them on? Niki Davis shares what she has learned from working with people with uncommon desires and explains the difference between shame and guilt, how shame can create a spiral of negative thoughts, and why people can feel like they have a “fetish self” and a separate identity.

Topics discussed:
• Sexual shame and how to recognize it• Shame vs. guilt• Uncommon sexual desires• Kinks vs. fetishes• Sexual fantasies• How the brain influences arousal• Whether desires can change or evolve• Exposure and developing new desires• Partner acceptance and exploring a partner’s kink• Balloon fetishes (poppers vs non-poppers)• Wet floor sign fetishes• Foot fetish• Carpet fetishism and Giorgio Carpet• Vore and being swallowed fantasies• Fantasy vs. real-life sexual experiences• Threesomes as fantasy vs. reality• Scat play• Disgust and arousal• Finding community around uncommon desires• Shame spirals and negative thought loops• Identifying sexual and emotional triggers• Keeping a thought log• Exploring kinks independently• Using imagination as part of erotic experiences

Follow Niki:Instagram: @missbloomsexeducator

Website: www.nikidavisf.com

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with gynecologist, sexual medicine expert, and author Dr. Maria Sophocles to talk openly about painful sex, vaginal health, sexual pleasure, menopause, low desire, and everything in between.

Topics discussed:

• Why does sex hurt? How common is painful sex, and when should you see a doctor? Dr. Maria Sophocles breaks down the most common causes of sexual pain, including vaginal dryness and inadequate lubrication, lack of arousal, vaginismus and a hypertonic pelvic floor, dermatologic conditions such as lichen sclerosus, STIs including herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhea, and internal causes such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts, fibroids and scarring.
• Alexa and Dr. Sophocles also get into why lubrication isn't the same thing as arousal, the importance of taking time before penetration, sexual scripting, communication with your partner, the orgasm gap, faking orgasms, low libido and desire differences, and why treating pain can sometimes bring sexual desire back.
• They discuss estrogen, genitourinary syndrome of menopause, perimenopause, postpartum and breastfeeding-related changes, surgical menopause, chemotherapy, vaginal estrogen, systemic estrogen, birth control and its potential effects on dryness and libido, as well as pelvic floor physical therapy, Kegels and pelvic floor relaxation.
• The conversation also covers PMS and period symptoms, breast tenderness, mood changes, back pain, exercise, sleep, meditation, mindfulness, magnesium, ibuprofen, vitamin E and evening primrose oil.
• Pap smears, trauma during gynecological exams, pediatric speculums, lubricant during Pap testing, and the future of at-home HPV/Pap sample collection. 
• They also play fact vs.fiction on cotton underwear, synthetic underwear, thongs, tight leggings, sweating after workouts, panty liners, vaginal discharge, vulva washing, soap, feminine washes, vaginal pH, normal genital odor, BV, boric acid, antibiotics, the vaginal microbiome, diet, fermented foods, probiotics/microbiome testing, vulvar irritation, pubic hair and friction.

Follow Dr. Sophocles:Instagram: @mariasophoclesmd

Website: www.mariasophoclesmd.com

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sponsor:

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2638-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator Jill Lissner, aka @sexedprincesss, forconversation about performative sex, pleasure, body image, consent, communication, and the weird sex trends taking over the internet.

Topics covered:

• Performative sex and what it means
• Pleasure vs. performance
• Authentic/non-performative sex
• Gendered expectations around appearance
• Penis size, erections and stamina
• Moaning and performing sounds
• Staying quiet because of shame or expectations
• Soft penises and body acceptance
• Decentering penetration
• Mutual masturbation and vulnerability
• Porn as a performance
• Being perceived and worrying how you look
• Likeability, acceptance and social performance
• Reducing performance anxiety through exposure
• “Spectatoring” during sex
• Advocating for your needs during sex
• Defaulting to giving as a performance
• Preference vs. performance
• Orgasm faces
• “Cracked” and modern sexual terminology
• Active participation in sex
• Riding/on-top positions and performing for appearance
• Recording sexual experiences
• Penetration as a performance expectation
• Critical thinking about sexual norms
• Internet sex trends
• Ball maxing/scrotum maxing
• Scrotum size and attraction
• How sexual trends spread online
• The need for more scientific research on emerging sex trends

Follow Jill:Instagram: @sexedprincesss

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Small Hands (Aaron Thompson) to talk about what really creates sexual attraction, the difference between confidence and competence, rough sex, kink, consent, boundaries, and the fantasies people don't always know how to talk about.

In this episode:

• Non-sexual turn-ons and how they become sexual turn-ons
• Hands, feet, scent and other physical turn-ons
• Acts of service, chores, cleaning and thoughtfulness as turn ons
• Appreciation, validation and keeping long-term relationships connected
• Boundary talks before professional collaborations
• Reading someone's comfort level and adjusting in the moment
• Sexual toys, magic wands, lube and taking initiative
• Confidence vs. competence
• Why competence may be more attractive than confidence
• Humility, ego and letting actions speak for themselves
• Sexual performance anxiety and the pressure to “deliver”
• Small Hands' first gangbang and early experiences in porn
• CNC (consensual non-consent) fantasies
• Dark fantasies and the importance of genuine desire and safety
• Kink, trauma and how life experiences can shape sexual interests
• Reclaiming autonomy through fantasy
• The unexpected origins of a foot fetish
• What “rough sex” actually means
• Physical, verbal and psychological elements of rough sex
• Why rough sex requires context, intent and communication
• Rough sex vs. disrespect
• Consent, boundaries and negotiating BDSM/kink
• Choking and assuming a partner wants it
• Hot ways of checking in during sex 
• Why porn should never be treated as a guide for real-life behavior
• Trust and safety as foundations for exploring darker fantasies
• Small Hands' private fantasy of slow, romantic, sensual sex

Follow Aaron:
Instagram: @thesmallhands_

Follow Alexa Andre:
Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sponsor:

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2633-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in back bed with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, creator of Future Method, and author of Butt Seriously. They discuss anal health, pleasure, preparation, and all the questions people are often too embarrassed to ask.

Topics discussed in this episode:

• Anal pleasure and breaking down taboos and myths
• Exploring anal stimulation for the first time
• The P-spot/prostate and prostate orgasms
• The A-spot and anal pleasure for women
• Topping vs. bottoming
• Why tops should understand anal anatomy
• Anal foreplay and gradual penetration
• The three sphincter muscles
• Breathing, relaxation and communication
• Pain, bleeding and discomfort during anal sex
• Lube and why anal sex differs from vaginal sex
• Penis size, thickness and anatomy
• Mushroom-shaped penises and preparation
• Bad first anal experiences
• Self-exploration and masturbation
• Pressure vs. in-and-out stimulation
• Riding and controlling penetration
• Dilators and gradual anal training
• Anatomy vs. psychological/neurological factors
• Bleeding, tightness and when to seek medical care
• Poop during anal sex
• Shame and anxiety around cleanliness
• Douching and over-douching
• Gut health, fiber and diet
• Prebiotics and probiotics
• Food and how diet can affect anal sex
• Condoms and anal sex
• PrEP and DoxyPEP
• The “toy test” after douching
• Hemorrhoids and what they actually are
• Fissures and skin tags
• Pegging and strap-on play
• Prostate massage and prostate milking
• Edging and gooning
• Anal Botox and pelvic floor physical therapy
• Butt facials
• Butt acne, ingrown hairs and hair removal
• Wet wipes and anal irritation
• Bidets and portable bidets
• Toilet paper vs. water-based cleaning
• Evan's work with Bespoke Surgical and Future Method

Follow Dr. G:Instagram: @drevangoldstein | @bespokesurgical | @thefuturemethod

Website and more: Bespoke Surgical

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sponsor:

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2633-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, creator of Future Method, and author of Butt Seriously. They do a deep dive into anal sex, butt health, and everything you've always wanted to ask about your asshole.

Topics Discussed

• Dr. Evan Goldstein's journey from heart surgery to anal surgery
• Coming out and discovering anal health as a medical specialty
• Cosmetic vs. functional anal procedures
• Hemorrhoids, fissures, skin tags, and anal anatomy
• Post-pregnancy anal changes
• Grooming injuries and anal skin concerns
• Confidence and body image around the anus
• Anal bleaching and whether it's worth it
• Perineum "sunning"
• What makes a "healthy" vs. "perfect" asshole
• The truth about anal douching
• Protecting the anal microbiome
• Why over-douching can increase STI and HIV risk
• Future Method and isotonic douching
• Safe products to use in the anus
• Can anal sex make you loose?
• Incontinence myths
• Male vs. female pelvic anatomy
• Anal Botox
• When surgery is necessary
• Dilators for beginners
• Fingering mistakes that cause injuries
• Proper lubrication
• Relaxation techniques for anal penetration
• Understanding the three anal sphincters
• The three "types" of assholes
• Building up to anal safely
• How often bottoms should practice
• Fiber, probiotics, hydration, and digestive health
• Whether everyone needs to douche
• Preparing for occasional anal sex
• The prostate (P-spot)
• The A-spot
• Prostate orgasms
• Common myths surrounding anal sex
• How to reduce injury while maximizing pleasure

Follow Dr. G:Instagram: @drevangoldstein | @bespokesurgical | @thefuturemethod

Website and more: Bespoke Surgical

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Carly, founder of Read Aurore, to talk about why written erotica is becoming one of the most powerful tools for pleasure, communication and self-discovery. 

Together they explore how true erotic stories differ from fantasy, why women are increasingly choosing erotica over visual porn, the psychology behind imagination and desire, how writing about sex can help process emotions and improve communication, and how reading erotica can inspire better sex and stronger relationships.

Topics discussed:

• Carly's path to creating Aurora Erotica
• Interviewing strangers about sex
• Dating in Europe vs New York
• Vacation confidence and sexual freedom
• Why true stories are hotter than fantasy
• Turning real experiences into erotica
• Writing as emotional processing
• First-time sex that is actually good
• Why men should read erotica
• Women's real sexual desires
• Affairs and taboo fantasies
• Open relationships vs secret affair
• How Aurore selects submissions
• Writing as therapy
• Rewriting difficult experiences
• Smut vs erotica
• Romance vs erotica
• The decline in Gen Z sexual activity
• Benefits of reading erotica
• Benefits of writing erotica
• Reliving pleasurable experiences
• Reading erotica together as foreplay

Follow Carly:Instagram: @readaurore

Website: readaurore.com

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sponsor:

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2629-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with clinical psychologist and relationship coach Gaby Balsells to unpack one of the hardest questions in love: how do you know whether to stay in a relationship or walk away?

Together they explore:

• how to tell the difference between a temporary rough patch and true incompatibility
• the danger of ignoring red flags during the honeymoon phase
• emotional vs. sexual compatibility
• settling vs. honoring your needs
• trusting your desires
• healthy communication
• overcoming defensiveness
• becoming "us vs. the problem”
• emotional labor
• the initiator/receiver dynamic
• why actions matter more than words
• consistency over empty promises
• repairing conflict, couples therapy,
• sexual compatibility, mismatched libidos & feeling desired
• knowing when you've waited long enough
• guilt around leaving
• selective effort & weaponized incompetence
• and why love alone isn't always enough

Follow Gaby:Instagram: @gabybalsells

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with urologist Dr. Jed Kaminetsky to unpack everything you need to know about men's sexual health: from vasectomies, erectile dysfunction, testosterone, fertility, sperm count, pornography, performance anxiety, lifestyle habits, microplastics, prostate health, post-nut clarity, and why great sex is about so much more than penetration.

In this episode, Dr. Jed shares insights from performing over 6,000 vasectomies, explains why vasectomies don't affect erections, orgasms, ejaculation, libido, or masculinity, and discusses who should (and shouldn't) get one. We also dive into why more young men are experiencing erectile dysfunction, the difference between psychological and physical ED, performance anxiety, refractory periods, Viagra vs. Cialis, low testosterone, healthy ways to increase testosterone naturally, pornography's impact on arousal, penis pumps and rings, fertility, declining sperm counts, microplastics, prostate health, ejaculation frequency, steroids, testosterone therapy, men's fears around penis size, micro-penis stigma, post-nut clarity and more.

Topics discussed:

• ​Dr. Jed's experience performing 6,000+ vasectomies
• ​Why vasectomies don't affect erections, orgasms, ejaculation or libido
• ​Who should and shouldn't get a vasectomy
• ​Vasectomy reversals and success rates
• ​More childfree men choosing vasectomies
• ​Psychological vs. physical erectile dysfunction
• ​Performance anxiety and first-time sex nerves
• ​What erectile dysfunction actually means
• ​Lifestyle causes of ED (sleep, obesity, smoking, alcohol, exercise)
• ​Stress, anxiety and blood flow to the penis
• ​Refractory periods and why they change with age
• ​Viagra, Cialis and how they work
• ​Daily Cialis vs. as-needed dosing
• ​Testosterone testing and common misconceptions
• ​Natural ways to increase testosterone
• ​Weightlifting vs. endurance running for hormone health
• ​Penis pumps and cock rings
• ​Pornography, masturbation habits and sexual conditioning
• ​Low libido vs. erectile dysfunction
• ​Fertility, declining sperm counts and modern lifestyle
• ​Microplastics and male fertility
• ​Sauna use, heat exposure and sperm health
• ​Prostate enlargement, prostate cancer and ejaculation research
• ​Steroids, bodybuilding and infertility
• ​Testosterone replacement therapy risks
• ​Women's testosterone and libido
• ​Post-nut clarity explained
• ​Why men's physiology isn't an excuse to neglect a partner's orgasm
• ​Communication, sex therapy and relationship dynamics
• ​Micro-penis myths and penis size insecurity
• ​Why erectile dysfunction is a symptom, not a disease

Follow Dr. Jed:Instagram: @drjedkaminetsky

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sponsor:

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2629-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Coral Osborne (@theunrealcoralosborne), sexologist, intimacy coach for men, former sex worker, and writer. 

Coral shares how sex work has changed over the last decade, why the industry has become increasingly polarized, and why she believes decriminalization matters for safety and autonomy. She opens up about the realities behind influencer culture, escorting, OnlyFans, AI, the loneliness epidemic, and why becoming a content creator today is harder than ever.

The conversation takes a deeply personal turn as Coral recounts hiring a male escort, what she hoped to experience, why it didn't unfold as expected, and what the experience revealed about vulnerability, performance, pleasure, and intimacy. 

Topics discussed:

• The changing landscape of sex work over the past decade
• Political divides and hypocrisy within the sex industry
• Escort culture in Los Angeles, New York, Dubai, and Las Vegas
• Why older sex workers often earn more than younger ones
• The rise of OnlyFans and if it’s easy to become a millionaire
• The loneliness epidemic and why AI won't replace real intimacy
• Building an audience on social media without sacrificing integrity
• Writing vulnerable essays on Substack
• Why Coral hired a male escort
• What it felt like to be on the client side of sex work
• Performance anxiety from a woman's perspective
• Receiving versus giving pleasure
• Faking orgasms and learning how to stop performing
• Oral sex, vulnerability, and intimacy
• Dating after leaving sex work
• Meeting her current boyfriend and navigating honesty early on
• Why intimacy and transaction can coexist
• Double standards around dating former sex workers
• Lived experience versus academic credentials in sex education
• Why coaches should continue investing in their own healing
• Using relationship tools like Yes/No/Maybe lists and relationship menus
• Bringing curiosity and intentional communication into long-term relationships

Follow Coral Osborne:Instagram: @theunrealcoralosborne

Substack: https://substack.com/@coralosborne

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with sex educator, relationship coach, and OnlyFans creator Ashley Manta for a deep dive into pussy worship, oral sex, receiving pleasure, and what truly creates incredible sex. They discuss what pussy worship actually means, why enthusiasm and verbal reassurance matter and creating safety for the receiver.

Topics covered:

• What pussy worship really is
• Why enthusiasm changes everything
• Verbal reassurance before oral sex
• Creating emotional safety during sex
• The ideal 60-minute pussy worship session
• Foreplay being needed before oral sex
• Labia massage techniques
• Consent before penetration
• Pleasure-focused vs orgasm-focused sex
• Tension orgasms vs relaxed orgasms
• Betty Dodson's orgasm techniques
• Breathing through orgasm
• Why sex educators have higher standards
• Escaping performative sex
• Raising your standards for pleasure
• Porn vs real-life sex
• Learning to receive instead of always giving
• Overcoming people-pleasing in bed
• Mutual masturbation as education
• Giving and receiving feedback during sex
• Hormonal changes and changing preferences
• Pussy worship fantasies
• Bisexual experiences and women's play parties
• Breast worship and body worship
• Toys during oral and hand sex
• Why everyone should use lube
• Oral-anal hygiene tips
• Choosing partners who prioritize your pleasure

Follow Ashley Manta:Instagram: @cannasexual

Website: pussywhisperer.coach

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sponsor:

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2629-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Vee and Elle from the Girls Gone Deep podcast for Part 2/2. Together they explore whether non-monogamy is really about unmet needs, what happens when a partner satisfies nearly everything you're looking for, the role of new relationship energy in long-term relationships, primary partnerships versus non-hierarchical polyamory, freedom and autonomy in love, catching feelings for people who aren't a match, maintaining boundaries despite intense attraction, and the science behind oxytocin, dopamine, attachment, and post-sex bonding.

They also unpack cream pies, breeding kinks, ownership versus feeling chosen, BDSM dynamics, worship, possessiveness, fertility awareness methods, Oura Ring tracking, vasectomies, accidental pregnancy stories, relationship satisfaction, energetic pleasure, arousal, and what it really means to build a "bulletproof pussy."

Topics Discussed

• Whether non-monogamy is fundamentally about unmet needs
• Can one person satisfy all your emotional, sexual, and relational needs?
• New relationship energy (NRE) and its role in long-term relationships
• Catching feelings for people who aren't a good match
• Oxytocin, dopamine, endorphins, and attachment after sex
• Bacterial vaginosis (BV): causes, treatment, recurrence, and prevention
• Yeast infections and recurring vaginal health issues
• Gut health's connection to vaginal health
• Creating a “bulletproof pussy”
• Sleep, alcohol, drugs and sex
• UTIs and post-sex hygiene
• Self-checking vaginal health through scent and taste
• Cream pies, breeding kinks, and why people find them attractive
• Accidental pregnancy stories
• Ownership, possessiveness, worship, and feeling chosen
• BDSM dynamics and core desires in sex

Follow Girls Gone Deep:Instagram: @girlsgonedeeppod

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Vee and Elle from the Girls Gone Deep podcast for an honest conversation about sexuality, identity, motherhood, non-monogamy, desire, dating, pleasure, and why "sluthood" has nothing to do with how much sex you're having.

Together they explore whether you can still be a slut while celibate, the difference between sex positivity and sluthood, and why owning your desires without shame is at the heart of sexual empowerment.

Topics Covered:

• Why "sluthood" is a mindset, not a body count• Sex positivity vs. sluthood• Owning sexual desires and boundaries• Polyamory and relationship de-escalation• Solo poly life and finding a new primary partner• BDSM dynamics, D/s relationships, and sexual compatibility• Playing together vs. playing separately in non-monogamous relationships• Feeling sexually satiated in long-term partnerships• Asexuality, demisexuality, and the ace spectrum• Whether you can be an asexual slut• Anonymous sex vs. sex with emotional connection• Sex parties and sex-positive communities• Building trust, safety, and desire with recurring partners• Female arousal, nervous system safety, and orgasm• Why one pregnancy can feel completely different from another• Postpartum sexuality and loss of desire• Returning to sex after giving birth• Masturbation during pregnancy and postpartum• First postpartum orgasms and sexual rediscovery• Oral sex, receiving pleasure, and people-pleasing tendencies• Why some women struggle to receive• "Real eaters" and enthusiastic oral sex partners• The psychology of receiving pleasure• The Wheel of Consent• Foreplay, full-body arousal, and erotic anticipation• Female desire and what actually creates arousal• Grinding, making out, and erotic tension• Bad kissers and sexual compatibility• What makes oral sex feel incredible• Leaving casual sex behind• Dating with intention• Childfree dating and relationship dealbreaker• Having sex on the first date• Slow burns versus instant chemistry• Building tension before sex• Boundaries, self-control, and emotional attachment• Future sexual adventures and lifestyle goals

Follow Girls Gone Deep:Instagram: @girlsgonedeeppod

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sponsor:

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2624-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with porn historian, writer, and adult industry expert Noelle Perdue for a fascinating conversation about pornography, fantasy, sexuality, kink, technology, trauma, aging, relationships, and the hidden ways porn shapes our world.

Noelle shares her unlikely journey from software developer to porn scriptwriter, her work with Pornhub and the adult industry, and why she believes pornography is one of the most misunderstood cultural forces of our time.

Together, Alexa and Noelle unpack the relationship between porn and real-life sexuality, whether porn influences behavior, the myths surrounding porn addiction, the role of fantasy, kink exploration, sex education, censorship, free speech, technology, consent, and how pornography impacts legislation, culture, and online platforms.

The conversation also explores giantess fetishism, size kink culture, porn parodies, queer sexuality, healing after sexual trauma, alternative forms of intimacy, body image, aging, MILF culture, hookup communication, sex work, human trafficking misconceptions, and why people are often far more sexually diverse than they realize.

Whether you're curious about porn's role in society, interested in sexual exploration, or simply want a deeper understanding of human desire, this episode offers an honest, nuanced, and thought-provoking perspective.

Topics discussed:

• How Noelle became a porn historian• Leaving tech to write porn scripts• Writing porn parodies for major studios• Working with Brazzers and Pornhub• Pornography's influence on technology and culture• Section 230 explained• FOSTA-SESTA and online censorship• Sex work vs. human trafficking• Porn and free speech debates• Does porn affect relationships?• Porn addiction and dependency myths• Porn as a tool for exploration• Why porn should not replace sex education• Fantasy vs. reality in sexual desire• The dangers of using porn as sex ed• Giantess fetish and SizeCon• Expansion fetishes and breast expansion• Vore and consumption fantasies• Alternative forms of intimacy• Expansive definitions of sex• Communicating desires with partners• Casual sex and queer relationship dynamics• Why sexual communication matters• The popularity of MILF content• Body diversity in porn• Criticisms of pornography• The "teen" category debate• Pornography as a reflection of culture• Sexual violence and porn studies• Gooning culture explained

Follow Noelle:Instagram: @all_day_breakfast_

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator Tara Michaela for a nuanced conversation about the ethics of public sex, public play, PDA, kink visibility, consent, social norms, and why society struggles to define where the line actually is.

Together they unpack whether public sexuality is inherently unethical, why people are drawn to public play and exhibitionism, the role of novelty and desire, and how context changes our perception of what's acceptable. They explore everything from making out in public, wearable vibrators, public bathrooms, sex in cars, beach hookups, PDA at parties, BDSM at Pride, leash dynamics in public spaces, sex-positive parenting, children witnessing nontraditional expressions of sexuality, consent education, sex negativity, and the difference between legality and ethics.

They also discuss whether bystanders can truly consent to what they encounter in public, how social norms shape our reactions to sexuality, why people react so strongly online, how consent is often taught as a black-and-white concept despite living in gray areas, and why intent and impact both matter in conversations about consent violations.

Topics discussed:

• public sex vs. public play
• PDA, making out, and cultural attitudes toward affection
• Why public play is exciting and appealing
• Novelty, desire, exhibitionism, and fantasy fulfillment
• Wearable vibrators and remote-control sex toys in public
• The ethics of public sexual behavior
• Consent and uninvolved bystanders
• Social norms versus personal freedom
• The difference between legality and morality
• Being the "naked neighbor" and visibility at home
• BDSM visibility in public spaces
• Kink at Pride and public kink discourse
• Walking a submissive on a leash in public
• Public conversations about sex and sexual experiences
• Elevator conversations, social etiquette, and discomfort
• Consent education and its limitations
• Intent versus impact in consent violations
• Ethical gray areas in sexuality
• Sex on the beach and secluded public spaces
• Sex in cars and privacy expectations
• Public bathrooms and ethical considerations
• PDA at parties, raves, and social gatherings
• Exhibitionism and safer alternatives
• Sex parties and kink events as consensual spaces
• Online outrage and reactions to sexual content
• How sexuality can challenge and change social norms

Follow Tara:
Instagram: @yourexgirlfriendtara

Follow Alexa Andre:
Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sponsor:

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2624-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Norma Buster, sex positive victims rights advocate, Chief of Staff at CA Goldberg Law, survivor of image-based abuse, and online sex worker, for a raw and nuanced conversation about stalking, leaked intimate images, deepfake abuse, consent, shame, sexuality, healing, OnlyFans, bisexuality, and reclaiming agency after trauma.

Topics Covered:

• Norma Buster’s experience with stalking and image-based abuse
• Why “revenge porn” is an inaccurate and harmful term
• The evolution of image-based sexual abuse laws
• Victim blaming from judges, police, and society
• Trauma, shame, and psychological impact after leaked intimate images
• CA Goldberg Law and victims rights advocacy
• The federal Take It Down Act
• Why intent-to-harm clauses make prosecutions harder
• Free speech debates surrounding image-based abuse laws
• AI deepfakes and nudifying apps
• Deepfake abuse affecting women, minors, and students
• Consent, impact vs intent, and digital privacy
• Supporting friends through stalking or abuse
• Victim vs survivor terminology and trauma identity
• Purity culture and sexual shame
• Bisexual awakening during the pandemic
• Dating couples and exploring non-monogamy
• Threesomes and alternative relationship dynamics
• Healing through sexuality and sex positivity
• Starting an OnlyFans after surviving image-based abuse
• Sex work stigma and online identity
• Reclaiming agency and personal autonomy
• Advice for survivors struggling with shame and harassment

Follow Norma Buster:Instagram: @normabuster_CA Goldberg Law: cagoldberglaw.com

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa

Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sponsor:

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2619-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with hypnotherapist, content creator, and non-monogamy advocate Kate Shelor for an unfiltered conversation about open relationships, outsourcing fantasies, emotional labor in swinging, and the surprising ways long-term couples keep intimacy exciting.

Kate opens up about why she rarely dates outside her marriage despite being ethically non-monogamous, how hiring sex workers simplified their relationship dynamic, and the realities of jealousy, chemistry, group play, and sexual compatibility. They also dive into anal sex, fantasies, OnlyFans attention, emotional burnout, aging, confidence, kink exploration, and the difference between fantasy and real-life sex.

Topics covered:

• Ethical non-monogamy & swinging
• Why Kate rarely wants other partners
• Being a sex educator while dating
• Being intimidating or “unapproachable”
• Emotional labor in open relationships
• Using escorts and sex workers as a couple
• Negotiating fantasies and boundaries
• Why paying for sex can be simpler than dating
• Outsourcing anal and mismatched sexual interests
• Jealousy, communication, and trust in marriage
• Male vs female sex workers
• Exploring kinks safely
• Why group sex stopped being exciting
• Realistic female orgasms vs porn fantasy
• Aging, hormones, and changing libido
• OnlyFans, validation, and sexual attention online
• Keeping long-term relationships exciting
• Matching underwear subscriptions
• Cruise playrooms and glory hole adventures
• Novelty, intimacy, and maintaining attraction

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with… herself for a raw, unfiltered solo episode catching you up on everything from life on a Temptation Cruise to her evolving dating standards, sexual boundaries, and relationship mindset.

Alexa shares what it’s like attending a Temptation/Desire-style cruise solo for the first time (people-watching couples, navigating swinger culture, and breaking down exactly how playrooms, workshops, and non-monogamous dynamics work in real life). 

She dives into her personal shift away from casual sex and into intentional dating, explaining why she’s now prioritizing emotional connection, aftercare, and partners who genuinely meet her needs, especially when it comes to oral sex. 

The episode explores deeper questions around monogamy vs. non-monogamy, whether one partner can meet all your needs, and how exposure to different relationship styles can expand your perspective, whether you ever practice them or not. She also shares behind-the-scenes insights into her workshops, from pussy worship to anal education, and what it’s like teaching pleasure in a fully immersive, hands-on environment.

Topics Covered

• Swinger cruise culture: Temptation & Desire breakdown
• Playroom rules, dynamics, and etiquette
• Workshops: pussy worship, anal 101, handjob techniques
• Observing newbies vs experienced couples in non-monogamy
• Community, connection, and friendships on lifestyle cruises
• Using pleasure and joy as a form of balance in a difficult world
• Transition from casual sex to intentional dating
• Sexual dissatisfaction and unmet needs in casual dynamics
• The importance of oral sex and prioritizing female pleasure
• The orgasm gap and stimulation differences during penetration
• “Real eater only” mindset and not settling sexually
• Monogamy vs non-monogamy reflections
• Fluid relationship identities and changing over time
• Learning from different relationship structures
• Expanding social circles: queer, kinky, celibate, non-monogamous perspectives
• Masturbation and solo pleasure practices
• Behind-the-scenes of sex workshops and teaching live experiences
• STI education gaps and common fears
• Orgies, private room dynamics, and cruise experiences
• Community vs sex focus in lifestyle spaces
• Building a career as a sex educator and coach

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2619-alexa

Temptation Cruises Info

Desire Cruises Info

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Ashley Manta to explore the world of energetic sex: what it is, how it works, and whether you can actually feel pleasure, connection, or even orgasm without physical touch.

They break down the concept of the energetic body vs the physical body, how breath, presence, and visualization play a role in directing energy, and how practices rooted in tantra, mindfulness, and somatic awareness can expand what we think of as sex. Ashley explains how energy can be shared between partners (with consent), how couples can sync breath and build intimacy without touch, and how techniques like eye gazing, chakra visualization, and intention-setting are used in workshops.

The conversation covers everything from solo exploration to partnered experiences like “energetic penetration,” heart-to-heart connection exercises, and combining touch with energy to enhance sensation. They also discuss real workshop experiences where beginners reported feeling physical sensations, emotional releases, and even orgasms while fully clothed.

Topics discussed:

• What “energetic sex” is
• Energetic body vs physical body
• Breathwork and presence in sexual experiences
• Visualization and directing energy
• Solo energetic pleasure practices
• Partnered energetic connection
• Eye gazing and breath syncing
• Chakra system and energy movement
• Hand energy exercise (feeling energy between palms)
• Energetic “penetration” concept
• Combining physical touch with energy
• Workshop experiences and beginner reactions
• Reports of no-touch orgasms
• Emotional and somatic responses (shaking, release)
• Building confidence in energetic practices
• Energetic kink and power dynamics
• Energetic restraint and roleplay
• Tuning into a partner’s “frequency”
• Feedback cues and responsiveness
• Breath orgasms vs other orgasm types
• Laughgasms, coregasms, and non-traditional orgasms
• Expanding definitions of pleasure
• Self-pleasure and manifestation practices
• Using orgasmic energy for intention-setting
• Longer orgasm experiences
• Tantra workshops and festivals
• Tantric massage (what it may involve)
• Skepticism vs openness
• Long-distance energetic connection
• Phone sex using energy and visualization
• Alexa’s personal experiment and results

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Star Stone to unpack her real-life experience inside OneTaste, the controversial “orgasmic meditation” (OM) community often described as a sex cult.

Star shares how she was drawn in while searching for better sex and multiple orgasms, what “OMing” actually is, and how quickly curiosity turned into something much more complex. From communal living and blurred consent to coercion, confusion, and trauma bonding, this episode dives deep into the psychological dynamics of cult-like environments and how they operate under the guise of empowerment and sexual wellness.

We talk about why people join, how boundaries get blurry, what makes leaving so difficult, and what healing looked like afterward. Star also opens up about rebuilding her relationship to sex, safety, and intimacy after the experience.

We also cover the recent sentencing of OneTaste founder Nicole Daedone and what accountability, justice, and systemic change actually look like in cases like this.

Topics covered:

• How Star first discovered OneTaste 
• What “orgasmic meditation” actually is and how it works
• Wanting to become multi-orgasmic and seeking better sex
• The structure of OM classes and partner pairing
• Why the first experience didn’t work but still hooked her
• Moving into communal “OM houses”
• Sharing beds with strangers and lack of privacy
• House rules and daily OM expectations
• Confusion as a control tactic in cult dynamics
• Pressure to override boundaries and say yes
• Consent vs coercion in group environments
• “Lean into discomfort” and loss of autonomy
• Sexual dynamics, power, and unsafe partner experiences
• Trauma bonding and cycles of abuse
• Why it’s hard to leave cult-like environments
• The role of belonging, community, and vulnerability
• Leaving the house vs leaving the organization
• Therapy, treatment, and understanding narcissistic abuse
• Processing trauma through art, comedy, and storytelling
• Life after OneTaste and rebuilding sexual safety
• How the experience impacted her sex life and relationships
• Learning boundaries, discernment, and partner selection
• Moving to Costa Rica for healing and nervous system reset
• Writing and performing her one-woman show
• Humor as a tool for processing trauma
• Cult psychology and why smart people still join
• Justice vs systemic change in cases of sexual exploitation

At the time of this episode, Star chose not to speak in detail about the legal case.

However, here are the key verified facts:

• Nicole Daedone was sentenced to 9 years in federal prison in March 2026 for forced labor conspiracy
• Co-defendant Rachel Cherwitz received 78 months (6.5 years)
• Prosecutors said the organization used psychological, emotional, and financial coercion
• Victims were allegedly pressured into unpaid labor and sexual acts with clients or investors
• The court ordered $12 million in forfeiture and nearly $900,000 in restitution to victims
• The case followed a five-week federal trial in 2025

If you want to read more:

• DOJ sentencing announcement
• Guardian coverage of the case

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2615-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with sex therapist and author Ian Kerner to break down what’s really going on in your sex life, starting with one simple question: “So tell me about the last time you had sex.”

From there, they unpack the patterns most couples fall into and why sex often becomes routine, disconnected, or unsatisfying over time. This episode dives into the hidden dynamics behind desire, communication, and intimacy and how to actually fix them.

They cover:

• sex scripts and why most people follow the same predictable pattern
• spontaneous vs responsive desire and why mismatched libidos happen
• why initiation often fails (and creates rejection cycles)
• obligation sex vs genuinely wanting it
• the role of foreplay, arousal, and why rushing to penetration backfires
• the orgasm gap and importance of clitoral stimulation
• why couples stop prioritizing sex in long-term relationships
• communication struggles and how to actually say what you want
• turning complaints into clear desires
• building anticipation, tension, and erotic connection
• practical tools like the “willingness window”
• how to create better sex through intention, not just chemistry

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with comedian Tina Friml to talk about:

• Growing up with cerebral palsy and dating insecurities
• Becoming a successful comedian even without a drivers license 
• Bullying around desirability and sex
• Having sex for the first time at 26
• Slow burn vs instant chemistry in dating
• Navigating ambiguity and attraction
• Making dates go to her comedy shows
• Using comedy to express kinks and boundaries
• Bad sex due to lack of communication/understanding
• Polyamory vs monogamy experiences
• Sex parties and exploration
• Discovering a love for restraint and being tied up (Shibari)
• Sex toys and accessibility issues
• Misconceptions about disabled people being non-sexual
• Emotional labor of making others comfortable
• Rejection and people avoiding honesty
• Green flags in dating disabled people

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2615-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with kink performer, educator, and co-founder of Hit Me Up, Hawthorne, to talk about the future of sex, switches, kink exploration, nipple clamps, and the very real phenomenon of post-nut clarity.

We get into how sex parties are evolving beyond just hooking up, and why community might be the most important part of modern sexuality. From mixers and workshops to co-working spaces (yes, really), we explore how people are using these environments to build real connections, not just get laid.

We also talk about:

• Why community comes before sex (and how that changes everything)
• How kink and non-monogamy have become more visible
• The rise of switches and why rigid dom/sub roles are fading
• What people still get wrong about power dynamics
• Post-nut clarity, what actually happens psychologically and physically after orgasm, and why so many people completely drop the ball right after they come
• Why private orgies > big parties (sometimes)
• How to approach people at events without being weird
• The reality of running a sex party business

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2610-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex therapist and relationship coach Gaby Balsells to talk about emotional connection: what it actually means, why it matters, and how it directly impacts your sex life.

From feeling “seen, heard, and safe” to understanding why some people need emotional connection before sex (and others after), this episode breaks down the real dynamics behind intimacy, desire, and long-term connection.

Alexa and Gaby explore how disconnection happens  (even in good relationships) and how couples can rebuild it through communication, attunement, and intentional effort. They also unpack why relying on your partner as your only emotional outlet can kill attraction, and how having a “menu” of support systems actually strengthens your relationship.

In this episode, we cover:

• What emotional connection actually means
• Emotional vs physical connection and how they influence each other
• Why some people need sex to feel emotionally connected
• Why emotional safety is the foundation for intimacy
• Reconnecting after a fight (without forcing sex)
• Meeting your partner in the middle instead of rejecting bids for connection
• Expanding your “menu” of emotional support beyond your partner
• Why relying on your partner for everything kills attraction
• How to feel connected again when life gets busy
• Weekly check-ins and “heart to heart” conversations
• The importance of non-sexual touch
• Appreciation, praise, and feeling seen in relationships
• Creating novelty (why hotel sex hits different)
• Why good sex doesn’t equal emotional connection
• Resentment as the biggest relationship killer
• One-sided effort and what to do when your partner isn’t trying
• “We accept the love we think we deserve”
• Outgrowing relationships and evolving needs
• How to know if a relationship is worth saving
• Dating tips to assess emotional compatibility early
• Why safety is essential — even in casual sex
• Attunement: the sexiest relationship skill

Thank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with comedian, podcaster, and host of The Manwhore Podcast, Billy Procida, to talk about humor in dating and relationships and why so many men feel the need to be the funniest person you’ve ever met.

From prank culture to competitive humor between partners, Billy and Alexa unpack the difference between being funny, being fun, and trying way too hard. They discuss why some people struggle to accept being the “joke receiver,” why men can feel threatened by funny women, and why humor can help smooth conflict.

In this episode we cover:

• Why humor matters in relationships
• The difference between being funny vs being fun
• Why trying to be funny often backfires
• Men feeling pressure to be the funniest person in the room
• Why some men get uncomfortable when women are funnier
• Humor competition in dating
• The role of banter and shared humor styles
• Why prank humor often crosses the line
• Accepting that you might not be the funny one
• Humor as a tool to diffuse conflict
• Different types of humor compatibility
• Why forcing jokes is unattractive
• Humor as part of flirting and connection
• Why being playful may matter more than being funny
• The pressure comedians face in dating
• Dating when humor is part of your identity

Thank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ 

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2610-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with writer, sex educator, and polyamorous creator Gabrielle Alexa Noel to talk about the fantasy everyone has — and the one that goes wrong the most: threesomes.

From “unicorn hunting” to couple privilege, from jealousy to communication, this episode breaks down what actually makes a threesome hot and what makes it awkward, performative, or emotionally messy.

Gabby and Alexa unpack why “the third is the star of the show,” why gifting a threesome is a red flag, why kissing rules are often a dealbreaker, and why straight couples may have an easier time swapping than finding a unicorn.

In this episode, we cover:

• The biggest communication mistakes couples make
• Why “creating safety” changes everything
• Kissing rules some couples have
• “Couple privilege and why it matters
• Why the third needs to feel special
• How to DM a third correctly (and what NOT to say)
• Signs a couple isn’t actually ready
• Emotional labor being offloaded onto the third
• Why you should take the third on a date
• Why swapping couples may be easier than unicorn hunting
• Jealousy and insecurity during group sex
• What to do when someone feels left out
• Aftercare expectations and debriefs
• Why porn positions aren’t realistic
• STI prep, condom changes, and fluid bonding
• Toys in threesomes
• Single men’s best strategy for getting a threesome
• Why romance still matters even in casual group sex

Thank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with abortion activist and founder of the Abortion Positivity Project, Sophie Nir, for a fact-based conversation about abortion positivity, stigma, bodily autonomy, forced pregnancy, abortion bans, medication abortion, procedural abortion, and more.

This episode breaks down what abortion positivity actually means: removing stigma and shame from the conversation entirely. Sophie explains why abortion bans do not reduce abortions, why 1% of abortions happening after 20 weeks is weaponized misinformation, and why “bodily autonomy does not expire at any point in pregnancy.”

She also covers how to support a friend through an abortion, how to navigate abortion inside relationships, what reproductive coercion is, how medication abortion works (mifepristone + misoprostol), why abortion is overwhelmingly popular despite political narratives, and why forced pregnancy is the real moral issue.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why shame around abortion is taught, not inherent
• The difference between being “pro choice” and abortion positive
• How political language stigmatizes abortion
• Why abortion access is in the worst position in 52 years
• The myth that abortion bans reduce abortion rates
• Abortion statistics
• Forced pregnancy as government control
• Medication abortion vs procedural abortion
• How mifepristone and misoprostol work
• Accessing abortion in restrictive states / countries
• How to support a friend having an abortion
• Letting go of internalized abortion shame
• Talking about abortion openly with friends
• Reproductive coercion in relationships
• Partner influence vs bodily autonomy
• Why consenting to sex is not consenting to pregnancy

Thank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ 

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2606-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Aimee, sex coach, host of Come Talk With Aimee, to unpack red flags in hookup culture, casual sex boundaries, love bombing, ghosting, emotional unavailability, situationships, sexual compatibility, and how to protect your peace while still having fun.

This episode dives into the blurred lines between “hot” and “toxic,” how to define red flags in early dating, and why casual doesn’t have to mean careless. Alexa and Aimee break down how to navigate casual sex in a way that feels empowering instead of chaotic.

In this episode, we cover:

• How to define a red flag (and why they aren’t always universal)
• The difference between mystery and emotional unavailability
• Why hot-and-cold behavior is a major warning sign
• Love bombing and how to spot it early
• Why ghosting happens (and when it’s acceptable)
• Fear of rejection and craving validation
• How to state your needs without playing games
• Casual sex vs. friends with benefits vs. fuck buddies
• Setting boundaries before sex happens
• How to avoid situationships and why we’re both against them
• Why “casual” doesn’t mean careless
• How to reschedule a date properly from both sides
• Signs someone may be selfish in bed
• Unsolicited nudes and consent in sexting
• Condom jokes & sexual health red flags
• Boundary pushing and subtle manipulation tactics
• Negging disguised as “banter”
• Why talking badly about all your exes is a red flag
• Pussy worship vs. oral as a chore
• Abundance mindset vs. scarcity mindset in dating
• Why you shouldn’t do casual if it creates chaos for you
• Protecting your peace while still enjoying sex

Thank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ 

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2606-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sexologist, intimacy coach for men, and former sex worker Coral Osborne for a conversation about conflict, repair, emotional safety, and how to fight in ways that actually strengthen relationships instead of destroying them.

This episode breaks down why conflict is inevitable, why resolution is not the same as repair, and how most people unintentionally make things worse by avoiding discomfort, suppressing feelings, issuing ultimatums, or apologizing without real empathy. Coral shares tools drawn from attachment theory, coaching, lived experience, and relationship psychology to help couples navigate fights with curiosity, accountability, and emotional intelligence.

Topics covered include:

• The difference between conflict resolution and emotional repair
• Why 69% of conflict in relationships is recurring
• Secure vs anxious vs avoidant attachment styles
• Why conflict is necessary for real intimacy
• Sulking, silent treatment, and “read my mind” behavior
• Fight, flight, freeze responses in relationships
• How avoidance fuels resentment and rupture
• The importance of reassurance during conflict
• Why “do you want to be right or happy?” matters
• Active listening and emotional attunement
• How to bring issues up without score-keeping
• Why feelings don’t have to “make sense” to be valid
• Rejection and abandonment as core emotional wounds
• What a real apology actually includes
• Why ultimatums damage trust and safety
• Repair rituals and post-conflict reconnection
• Why makeup sex doesn’t work for everyone
• Gamifying conflict and repair to reduce defensiveness
• When recurring fights are about values vs preferences
• Emotional safety as the foundation for erotic surrender
• Curiosity as the key to intimacy, sex, and connection

Thank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Aaron Thompson (aka Small Hands) to unpack how an awkward, short kid with a conservative upbringing became one of the most desired men in adult entertainment, and why confidence has far more to do with self-awareness, humility, and emotional intelligence than looks, height, or stats on a dating app.

They go deep on real intimacy versus performative sex, porn myths versus real-life pleasure, and how men can become better lovers by listening, learning, and caring more about their partner’s experience than their own ego.

Topics covered include:

• The “Short King” mindset and why height doesn’t matter
• Masculinity, confidence, and owning what you can’t change
• Penis size myths and sexual insecurity
• Why personality beats looks in real attraction
• Dating apps, stats culture, and first impressions
• Porn vs real sex (and why porn is not sex education)
• Communication, consent, and “checking in” during sex
• Reading body language, sounds, and partner feedback
• Helping partners orgasm without killing the vibe
• Using vibrators, magic wands, and toys with confidence
• Sexual worship, power dynamics, and mutual pleasure
• Learning from women and having real female friendships
• Dating as a porn star and navigating fans vs real intimacy
• Performative sex vs lazy, intimate, off-camera connection
• OnlyFans, AI digital duplicates, and fantasy fulfillment
• Erectile health, Viagra and injectable performance drugs
• Aaron’s natural erection health routine

Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈ 

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2602-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with writer, performer, director, and sex worker Lucy Hart for an honest conversation about reinvention, desire, identity, and learning how to start over without losing yourself. Lucy shares what it has been like to transition later in life, rebuild after financial loss, find community through kink and creativity, and forgive herself through every stage of change.

In this episode, they discuss:

• Reinventing yourself multiple times throughout life
• Transitioning later in life and trusting your timing
• Building chosen family and supportive community
• Talking about sex before getting into bed
• Ending sex based on satisfaction, not performance
• Communication, oral sex, toys, kink, and curiosity
• Sexual responsibility, testing, PrEP, and harm reduction
• The importance of kissing and chemistry
• Exploring kink slowly and without pressure
• Power dynamics and shifting roles
• Losing financial stability and rebuilding from scratch
• Divorce, grief, and letting go of relationships that no longer fit
• Forgiveness as a daily practice
• Letting go of resentment and self-blame
• Redefining success and happiness
• Making peace with impermanence
• Trusting yourself to rebuild again if needed

Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified holistic sex educator and Beyond the Beez founder Elizabeth Ashford for a deeply practical, funny, and no-BS conversation about talking during sex—and why silence, shame, and faking orgasms are some of the biggest barriers to good sex. From dirty talk and giving direction to toys, lube, boundaries, aftercare, and post-sex debriefs, this episode is a masterclass in how communication transforms intimacy, pleasure, and connection.

In this episode, Alexa and Elizabeth discuss:

• Why silence during sex creates insecurity and confusion
• Dirty talk vs simply communicating during sex
• Using your voice for pleasure, direction, and curiosity
• Why most people struggle to talk during sex
• Cultural shame, lack of sex education, and sexual confidence
• Finding your sexual voice and understanding your desires
• Why dirty talk looks different for everyone
• Trauma, shame, BDSM experience, and comfort levels with dirty talk
• Blending dirty talk with practical direction
• Giving feedback without killing the mood
• Starting with positive reinforcement before giving direction
• How safety makes sexual communication easier
• How faking orgasms reinforces bad sex habits
• Why honesty leads to better long-term sex
• The orgasm gap and why penetration alone isn’t enough
• Why partners need to genuinely care about your pleasure
• Oral sex as a baseline expectation, not a bonus
• “Non-eaters” as a dealbreaker
• Curiosity as the foundation of good sex
• Sex worth having vs sex worth avoiding
• Starter phrases for people new to dirty talk
• Keeping dirty talk simple and natural
• Compliments during sex and feeling desired
• Post-sex communication and debriefing
• Aftercare beyond cuddling
• Talking about what worked and what didn’t
• Porn, audio erotica, and learning language for desire
• Erotic menus and yes/maybe/no frameworks
• Borrowing phrases instead of reinventing dirty talk

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2602-alexa

Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with pleasure coach, intimacy educator, and professional Dom Sir Marvelous for a conversation about real dominance, fake Doms, pleasure-centered sex, and why communication and patience are the foundation of good BDSM—and good sex in general. This episode breaks down what dominance actually looks like beyond performance, how to spot manipulative dynamics early, and why prioritizing pleasure leads to deeper trust, safety, and better sex.

In this episode, Alexa and Sir Marvelous discuss:

• What actually makes someone a real Dom vs a fake Dom
• Why “pleasure Dom” is often misunderstood and misused
• How fake Doms weaponize submissive language on dating apps
• Manipulation, rushing dynamics, and early red flags
• Patience as the most attractive and essential Dom skill
• Why dominance is about giving and not controlling
• Why dominance doesn’t have to include pain, whips, or chains
• Eating pussy before, during, and after penetration
• Anxiety, erections, and why losing one isn’t a failure
• Strap-ons, toys, and removing ego from penetration
• Asking better questions about pleasure and satisfaction
• The brain as the biggest sex organ
• Post-sex debriefing: what worked, what didn’t, what to do more of
• Advocating for pleasure in Dom/sub dynamics
• Beginner Dom mistakes to avoid
• Why Doms should experience submission or bottoming
• Performative dominance vs authentic presence

Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with musician and content creator Emi Larraud for a raw, funny, and deeply honest conversation about vulnerability, masculinity, oversharing on the internet, and why emotional availability makes men more desirable and better lovers. From shitting yourself on the subway to tips on how to be more vulnerable, this episode explores how being human, communicative, and emotionally present leads to better sex, safer intimacy, and more meaningful connections.

In this episode, Alexa and Emi discuss:

• Masculinity, patriarchy, and how it harms men
• Why toughness, aggression, and emotional suppression are not attractive
• Healthy masculinity and being raised with emotional permission
• Men crying, expressing emotions, and being fully human
• How emotional openness improves dating and sex
• Why men shouldn’t center other men’s approval
• Seeking male validation vs caring what women actually want
• Listening to women instead of guessing what they want
• Being bisexual and how that shaped Emi’s perspective on intimacy
• The hot take: men who refuse to eat pussy are kinda gay
• Why vulnerability filters out the wrong people
• Getting approached more after being emotionally open
• Emotional growth through therapy
• Holding male friends accountable for harmful jokes
• Sex, intimacy, and performance anxiety
• Feeling pressure to perform sexually
• Liking women vs just wanting to fuck them

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey. https://beducate.me/pd2602-alexa

Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping my guests cozy and mess-free <3

🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with hypnotherapist and intimacy coach Kate Shelor for an in-depth conversation about erotic hypnosis, the subconscious mind, and how our thoughts, beliefs, and emotional conditioning shape pleasure, desire, and orgasm. Recorded on the Temptation Cruise, this episode breaks down what hypnosis really is, how it differs from pop-culture myths, and how erotic hypnosis can help people get out of their heads, release sexual shame, and reconnect with their bodies.

In this episode, Alexa and Kate discuss:

• The role of the subconscious mind in sex, pleasure, and behavior
• Why so many people struggle to stay present during sex
• Anxiety, body image, and self-conscious thoughts in the bedroom
• How hypnosis helps people get out of their heads and into sensation
• Why all hypnosis is ultimately self-hypnosis
• Consent, collaboration, and personal agency in hypnosis
• Common myths about hypnosis from movies and pop culture
• Whether some people are “more hypnotizable” than others
• Sexual blocks related to orgasms, erections, and arousal
• Kate’s personal journey using hypnotherapy to overcome orgasm struggles
• How language and self-talk program sexual responses
• The power of repetition in shaping subconscious beliefs
• Blindfolds, sensory deprivation, and imagination in erotic play
• Practical self-hypnosis and mindset exercises for home
• Auditing negative self-talk and replacing it intentionally
• Rewriting old conditioning with new emotional experiences
• Why the subconscious mind overrides logic every time
• Surrounding yourself with sex-positive language and media
• The best time of day for self-hypnosis
• How long hypnosis takes to create change

🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with tantric practitioner, pleasure educator, and soon-to-be author Davia Frost for a deep conversation about decentering penetration and expanding what sex can be. Recorded on the Temptation Cruise, this episode explores how slowing down, breathing, presence, and creativity can lead to more satisfying, intimate, and embodied pleasure without sex needing to revolve around penetration.

We discuss:

• What it means to decenter penetration and why penetration is overemphasized in mainstream culture

• How expanding your definition of sex increases pleasure, intimacy, and satisfaction

• Why heterosexual couples tend to rush to intercourse and how this limits pleasure

• Using the full body as an instrument of pleasure rather than focusing only on genitals

• Slowing down, softening the body, and learning how to receive pleasure

• Myths around sex, obligation, and the idea that penetration is required

• Making penetration optional without sex feeling “incomplete”

• Erogenous zones beyond genitals (neck, ears, inner thighs, behind the knees, clavicle, elbows, nipples)

• Nipple play and nipple orgasms

• Different types of orgasms and expanding orgasmic capacity

• Breathwork, sound, humming, and tantra as tools for pleasure

• Why holding your breath can limit orgasmic potential

• Presence vs performance in sex

• Oral sex as intimacy, honoring, and shared pleasure rather than a chore

• Eye gazing, kissing, dirty talk, and touch as deeply intimate acts

• Ego, vulnerability, and why sex often ends when penetration ends

• Ending sex based on satisfaction, not orgasms or penetration

• Communication strategies for talking about pleasure without hurting egos

• Sexual menus, check-ins, and having conversations outside the bedroom

• Scheduling intimacy, playfulness, and creative erotic invitations

• What straight couples can learn from queer sex culture

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with sex & relationship coach Catherine Drysdale for the most honest, nuanced conversation about voluntary celibacy you’ve ever heard. Together they break down how intentionally stepping away from partnered sex can reset your dating patterns, raise your standards, calm your nervous system, help you stop centering dating/sex, reconnect you to your body, and ultimately make your sex life better.

In this episode, Catherine opens up about:

• What voluntary celibacy actually means
• Why she’s chosen celibacy multiple times
• Libido dips during high-stress seasons– Prioritizing outercourse for better sex
• Celibacy as a tool for breaking validation cycles
• How to stop centering dating, sex and external validation
• Dating while celibate & setting clear boundaries
• How long a celibacy period should last
• How to decide when to re-enter sex or dating into your life
• What she learned about sexual compatibility
• The “reset effect” on desire and self-esteem
• How celibacy helped her see red flags sooner
• Why a sex break often leads to better sex
• How to be more intentional once you start having sex again

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2548-alexa

🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator, pleasure expert, and the Handjob Queen herself, Ashley Manta (@cannasexual), for the most comprehensive handjob episode ever recorded, all from the middle of the Ionian Sea aboard a Desire Cruise.

Together, they dive into Ashley’s entire sexual evolution, her journey into sex education, her non-monogamous love story, and her insanely detailed handjob techniques that go way beyond the basics. This episode is part sex education masterclass, part storytelling, part technique demonstration and entirely iconic.

We cover:

• How Ashley de-centered penetration in her relationships and learned to prioritize warm-up, touch, and manual stimulation

• Why she prefers clitoral stimulation with fingers over any vibrator / oral

• Squirting vs orgasm: why they’re different experiences and how Ashley experiences both

• Handjobs in cars, the “blowjobs for rides” era, and giving a handjob in a DHL truck

• Working at a sex shop and learning techniques from experts like Reid Mihalko, Ducky Doolittle, Tristan Taormino, and more

• Her decade of learning technique through sex parties, workshops, and hands-on practice

• The “toxic tantra boyfriend” who was incredible at sex but emotionally manipulative

• How handjobs became Ashley’s specialty and why she teaches them professionally

• Using partners as “live demos” during workshops

• Her handjob philosophy: connection, breathwork, presence, pressure, rhythm, and affirmation

• How to handle soft cocks, why softness is normal, and how to help someone relax into arousal

• Why lube is non-negotiable, why Ashley prefers silicone lube, and her love for the baby bottle warmer hack

• Circumcised vs uncircumcised penis techniques and what adjustments matter

• Full techniques breakdown

• Why Ashley doesn’t enjoy giving blowjobs (TMJ + dislike of cum), and how she clearly makes up for it

• Outsourcing BJ duties during group play thanks to her and Nick’s non-monogamous dynamic

• Anal play safety and boundaries: how Nick discovered he loves anal, how they explored it safely, and hygiene must-knows

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA69 to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 65% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2544-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of the groundbreaking bestseller She Comes First, He Comes Next, and So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. They talk about why his 2004 classic is still changing bedrooms two decades later, how the clitoris remains misunderstood, and what makes sex truly great.

We discuss:

- Why She Comes First is still a global bestseller 21 years later

- ⁠The science of the clitoris and its internal structures

- Why all orgasms are clitoral — and what “outercourse” really means

- Why penetration-only sex leads to bad sex and performance anxiety

- The most common sexual problems heterosexual couples face today

- How to shift from intercourse-focused sex to pleasure-focused sex

- Why rhythm and persistence are essential for clitoral stimulation

- Why novelty helps early on but routine deepens connection

- How rushing and orgasm-chasing have ruined slow sex

- The differences between male and female arousal cycles

- ⁠The three assurances every giver should offer during oral sex

- Why enthusiasm is the sexiest thing a partner can show

- How women’s insecurities (“I’m taking too long,” “Do I smell?”) block pleasure

- Why giving oral sex might be the key to your erection problems

An unfiltered, intimate conversation about why She Comes First is still essential reading and how better sex starts with slowing down, getting curious, and caring more.

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA69 to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 65% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2544-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Amanda Dames, the kink consultant and sex & relationship coach, for a deep dive into the world of kink — from power dynamics and negotiation to choking, bondage, chastity, and aftercare. Amanda, a former dominatrix and current coach for couples and individuals, breaks down how to safely explore desire, communicate boundaries, and find confidence in both dominance and submission.

We discuss:

• What a kink consultant actually does and how Amanda works with couples and individuals

• How to talk about kink and start negotiating scenes with a partner

• The concept of core desires: what drives your kinks on a deeper level

• Power exchange and why it’s one of the most common and misunderstood kinks

• How to safely practice choking and the difference between sides and trachea pressure

• How to create and close a scene, use safe words, and practice aftercare

• The difference between a kink and a fetish (and why fantasizing isn’t cheating)

• What to do when one partner is kinky and the other isn’t

• The importance of curiosity, consent, and mutual care in exploring desires

• Why choking porn shouldn’t be banned, it should be taught safely

• How to avoid nerve damage in bondage and the importance of safety scissors

• How to transition between dominance and submission when you’re a switch

• Why chastity for men is on the rise and what makes it exciting

• The realities of power play, punishment, and control

• What good aftercare looks like: from cuddling to next-day check-ins

• Why communication before, during, and after sex prevents harm and deepens connection

• The role of negotiation, consent, and enthusiasm in every scene

• Why more women should take control in bed and why more men should learn to be submissive

• How lingerie, pegging, and roleplay are more common (and fun) than people think

• Amanda’s fetish for being punished and how fantasy enhances orgasm

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@⁠sexwithalexa⁠)⁠ sits on the couch with Robyn Silber⁠ — a former Google software engineer who slept with 70 men in 10 months and then realized she’s asexual. Robyn opens up about her “slut era,” sexual health, discovering demisexuality, navigating autism and dating, and why she’s now working to help lonely men build real connection.

We talk about:

• Dating younger men and having 70 sexual partners in her first 10 months in NYC

• Sexual health: chlamydia, BV, yeast infections, UTIs, and learning to advocate for herself

• Why only ~5 of 70 partners made her orgasm and how she wasn’t asking for pleasure

• The difference between physical attraction and real sexual desire

• How asexuality doesn’t mean low libido or lack of masturbation

• Her current relationship: emotional connection, sensuality, and slow intimacy

• Why everyone should have a “slut era” and what to keep in mind

• Her idea to launch an online support group for men who aren’t getting laid

• The male loneliness crisis and how empathy can rebuild connection

• Why men should focus on friendship, hobbies, and social skills before dating

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Haley Jakobson, author of Old Enough, bisexual Dream Girl, and OCD Princess, to talk about friendship, therapy, OCD, and sex. Haley opens up about how her OCD has shaped her relationships, sexuality, creative life and how vulnerability and repair have transformed her friendships and intimacy.

We discuss:

• The importance of friendship and why it can be even more transformative than romantic love

• Learning to fight and repair conflict with friends instead of avoiding it

• Friendship breakups, grief, and when to let go vs. when to repair

• How attachment styles (anxious vs. avoidant) affect friendships and conflict

• The parallels between romantic and platonic relationship skills

• Navigating OCD, intrusive thoughts, and relationship anxiety

• Sexual shame, low libido, and reconnecting with desire during recovery

• The impact of COVID on libido, self-pleasure, and intimacy

• How OCD and anxiety affect sexual intimacy and self-image

• Learning to find satisfaction without pressure to perform sexually

• Haley’s upcoming novel Cave Girl and the story behind its title

  
  

  Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:

  https://beducate.me/pd2540-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Nina Divina, Mama Muse and founder of Haus of Muse, for a powerful and playful conversation about confidence, burlesque, sensuality, and how to be the main character in your sex life.

We talk about:

• What “cunt is an energy” really means and how to embody it

• Overcoming body image struggles and learning to love your reflection

• How to be the main character in your sex life and in everyday life

• The power of adopting a persona to boost confidence

• Why teasing is the most underrated form of foreplay

• Teasing vs. flirting — and how anticipation makes everything hotter

• Building sexual confidence through self-love and self-touch

• Reconnecting with your sensuality after losing it

• The importance of breathing, eye contact, and connection before sex

• How “fake it till you make it” and “delulu is the solulu” actually work

• Stretching, sensual movement, and small daily rituals to feel sexy again

• Why confidence, play, and teasing make sex better for everyone

🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2540-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Jeff Perla, host of Oh Dear I’m Queer, for a candid, funny, and unfiltered conversation about queer sex, dating, and intimacy.

We discuss:

• Morning hookups, blowjob confessions, and the idea of “nut clarity”
• Seeing Jeff's nudes & live reactions
• Snapchat vs. Instagram, hookup apps, and why Jeff made hoe cards while Alexa makes hoe friendship bracelets
• Bold ways of flirting IRL
• Fire Island and Hamptons stories, including Jeff’s secret hookup with “Chad,” a DL late-blooming bi guy
• Sex toys, magic wands, vibrating cock rings, and why toys aren’t just for women
• Gay hookup culture, Grindr chats, and whether there’s really a “top shortage”
• Therapy insights: Jeff wants to settle down and went to therapy to see if he's the problem
• Bi men in gay spaces, biphobia, and the fear of being “left for a woman”
• Girls’ gays vs. gays’ gays, and the tension over women in gay bars
• Eating disorders, body image, intermittent fasting, and gay pool party pressures
• Open relationships, monogamy fears, and rules like “our bed is our bed”
• Family dynamics, supportive siblings, grandma’s vibrator advice, and parents learning about OnlyFans
• What makes a “pretty dick,” hygiene, cut vs. uncut, and why enthusiasm matters most in oral sex
• Grindr bios, faceless profiles, and navigating hookup app etiquette

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2536-alexa 

🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram! www.patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Ali Weiss, New York native, host of Tales of Taboo and unapologetic oversharer, for a raw conversation about rejection, vulnerability, and why we’re all obsessed with the forbidden.

A funny, honest, and deeply relatable episode on being human, craving connection, and owning your messy truth, why rejection stings less when you know yourself, and how vulnerability can be both a calling and a curse. Ali opens up about running her anonymous confessions podcast, burnout, parasocial relationships, and why taboos like sex work and drug dealing deserve compassion instead of judgment.

Other topics we cover:

• The complicated relationship with oversharing and boundaries

• Why rejection isn’t the end of the world, and how to approach people IRL

• The obsession with being a “clean girl” vs embracing messiness

• Why taboo fascinates us and how it secretly connects us all

• Friendships that go deeper than relationships

• Learning to accept yourself so you can handle rejection and find real connection

👉 Support the podcast and get bonus content on Patreon: patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back in bed with Vee, co-host of Girls Gone Deep and almost-certified somatic sex and relationship coach, for a juicy conversation all about sexual fantasies.

We cover:

• Why fantasies are so important for a fulfilling sex life

• The difference between fantasies you should keep in your head vs. the ones you might want to bring to life

• Vee’s wildest fulfilled fantasies (from MFM threesomes to DVPs and even public play at Broadway)

• What it’s really like to plan a gangbang (and why you might not want to force it)

• How shame around our bodies, vulvas, and desires can hold us back — and how to push through it

• Fantasies that should stay fantasies (monster-fucking, Khaleesi worship scenes, etc.)

• The role of community and how to find people who will help make your fantasies a reality

• Fantasies that grow out of childhood wounds, trauma, or praise/degradation kinks

• How to actually ask for what you want and deal with rejection

• Tools for couples and individuals to explore fantasies safely (even if they never leave your imagination)

It’s raw, personal, and full of both funny and vulnerable stories — from getting DVPed on a cruise to being worshipped by multiple partners at once. If you’ve ever wondered where fantasies come from, how to share them without shame, or how to make them happen in real life, this is your guide.

💋 Support the show on Patreon for bonus content, behind-the-scenes, and more at patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2536-alexa