Husband Help Haven Podcast: Marriage Advice for Men Facing Separation, Affair or Divorce – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Episode notes available at https://husbandhelphaven.com/episode-24/   Do you need help reconnecting with your wife? Maybe you need to know some specific things to say to your wife to navigate the often-challenging conversations that happen during separation? Or maybe you just want some tips to be a better husband overall.   In today's episode of the Husband Help Haven Podcast, I'm going to share some good ol' fashioned communication advice to help you build a better connection with your wife, whether you're happily married or in the thick of separation.   As you listen, you'll learn about 8 different three-word phrases that you can and should incorporate to your conversations with your wife. For each phrase, I'll tell you what it really means beyond just the words spoken, and I'll tell you how you can use it both in a happy marriage and a broken one.   This is a little different from our normal separation-focused topics, but should still be helpful for all men who care about being an excellent relationship partner.

Show notes and video for this episode can be found at https://husbandhelphaven.com/episode-23/   How do you know when it really is time to be done waiting for your wife to come back? This is the other side of the question answered in the previous episode. As a pro-marriage optimist, please know that I'm rarely going to tell you to move on from your marriage, but in this episode I will share the reasons that I've seen other separated men make that decision for themselves.   I will warn you, unlike the last episode, this one may not be very encouraging. But this is a real-life question that comes up regularly, especially among men who have endured lengthy or difficult separations with no end in sight. However, even though this episode is an answer to a somber and difficult question, we will make sure to finish on an encouraging note -- you'll learn why my hope is that hearing the reasons men decide to be done waiting could actually help you more confidently choose to keep going.

Today we're answering three reader-submitted questions:

• Question #1 - How do you have an open and honest conversation with your wife while you're separated?
• Question #2 - If you were the one to have an affair, do you do anything different to try and get your wife back?
• Question #3 - If your wife starts warming up to you AFTER you've stopped saying 'I love you', should you start trying to be affectionate again?

Since each of these questions were submitted by a Husband Help Haven subscriber, you'll be hearing the real problems other men are having in their marriage, as well as the advice I give in each situation.

Today's episode is a little different. Instead of direct separation-related strategy, we're going to talk about two important reasons to do the hard, but good thing in your marriage.

Most HHH readers / listeners can identify with doing the hard, but good thing. After all, being the only one to fight for your marriage is exactly that.

When you do the right thing, the good thing, when the outcome isn't guaranteed, when even recognition for trying isn't guaranteed... Is it worth it? In this episode, I give two reasons why I say yes.

 

Trust is something we've talked a lot about on Husband Help Haven, and for good reason. It is a prerequisite that must be in place before you can rebuild romantic love with your wife.

In today's episode, we're going to talk more in-depth about what exactly trust means in a relationship and what elements of trust may be missing or damaged in YOUR relationship.

Then, we'll talk about three unconventional - but powerful - ways you can look to rebuild trust with a separated wife, even when things are distant and even when she is adamant about not coming back to the marriage.

How do you endure a separation that drags on for months on end?

In today's episode, I'm sharing the 5 most common reminders that I give to men who are in long-lasting separations.

• For example, how do you keep the ball rolling once the relationship starts to improve?
• How do you handle a wife that keeps bringing up divorce, but still hasn't filed?
• How do you stay stable and consistent through the chaos of separation?

Spoiler alert, these are the things that you probably already know, or that already make sense to you, but they are easy to forget as the separation drags on and new challenges arise.

So, if you want some extra encouragement as you navigate the ups and downs of waiting for your wife to figure out what she wants, this episode is for you. And make sure you listen to the end for a special announcement!

Over time, I've noticed that there tend to be four major stages between marriage and divorce...

Those four stages of separation are:

1. She says she wants out
2. Plans are made to live separately
3. Someone moves out
4. Divorce is filed

Today's episode covers these stages in what I call the Separation Roadmap.

It is an overview of each one of these stages with answers to a few key questions about each one.

• What's going through her head?
• What mistakes do men tend to make at this stage?
• What have I seen get good results in each stage?
• What does reconciliation look like if it happens at each stage?

Obviously, every separation is different and sometimes stages get shuffled around or combined, but MOST separations go through at least three of these stages before the divorce is final.

If you want to know a bit more about where your separation is at and get some potential new ideas for creating positive change in your relationship, this episode ought to do both those things for you.

Today we'll be wrapping up the Get Your Wife Back With... series with a look at enforcing boundaries during separation. Learn how enforcing boundaries can be the thing that sparks your wife to change course and rethink leaving the marriage

Yes, believe it or not, I have seen marriages saved when the husband draws a line and enforces a boundary. The most common way this is done is with an ultimatum... "Do this, or else that will happen." "End the affair, or else I'm moving forward with divorce."

It should come as no surprise that enforcing boundaries is a last resort during separation. And of all the avenues we've presented in this series, this is the only one where YOU are taking back control of the separation. In this episode, you'll learn what boundaries are justifiable to enforce during separation (hint: there's one big one) and how you can go about doing that with the best possible chance of reconciliation.

Can friendship pave the way back to a happy marriage?

In the fourth episode of the Get Your Wife Back With... series, we're looking at how to get your wife back with friendship. Seems simple on the surface, but we'll talk about when it works best, signs that you're doing it right, and a couple extra things to know when trying to compete with some of the new friends your wife may have made for herself during the separation.

Plus, we'll talk about how to get your wife on the same page with you so that you both accept and engage in friendship with each other, without putting pressure on her that you're trying to manipulate her back to the marriage.

Overall, my hope is that after this episode you will understand the role of friendship with your wife during separation, how it can help you, and how to apply it to YOUR separation.

How do you get your wife back with fatherhood? Can stepping up as a father help you rebuild connection and trust with your wife during separation? If so, how?

In part 3 of the Get Your Wife Back With... series, we will examine the role of good parenting and how that can help bridge the gap of separation to find common ground with your wife.

Obviously, this only applies if you have kids, but for fathers going through separation, this episode will go in-depth on everything you need to know to help your wife see you in a positive light as you step up with your kids.