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Some stories need telling again 🥀

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Cassie to retell my story not for sympathy, but for truth. One year on, with the court case behind me and my nervous system finally out of survival mode, I’m able to speak about what really happened in a way I couldn’t before.

This is not a neatly packaged survivor story. It’s an honest, sometimes uncomfortable look at how abuse really unfolds slowly, quietly, and often disguised as love. We talk about how red flags don’t arrive all at once, how control creeps in disguised as care, and how trauma bonding can make even the most intelligent, strong women stay in situations that are destroying them.

I share what it was like living inside a relationship that felt safe one minute and terrifying the next, how my identity slowly disappeared, and why leaving didn’t instantly bring peace it brought grief, fear, withdrawal, and the hardest healing of my life.

This episode is also about what happens after you leave. The confusion. The shame. The urge to go back. The rebuilding. And the moment you finally realise that what you called love was actually survival.

House of H.E.R. was born from this journey not just to tell my story, but to give other women the language, understanding, and community I desperately needed. If you’ve ever felt stuck, numb, anxious, or ashamed for loving someone who hurt you, this episode is for you.

You are not weak.
 You are not broken.
 You were surviving.

What we cover

• How abuse really begins
 • Red flags you don’t see at first
 • Trauma bonding and why people go back
 • Why leaving isn’t the end it’s the start
 • Healing after the court case
 • Why House of H.E.R. was created
 • Rebuilding your identity after abuse

Trigger Warning

This episode contains discussion of domestic abuse, coercive control, physical violence, trauma bonding, suicide, and mental health.

If you need support

If you’re struggling right now or something in this episode has brought things up for you, you are not alone and help is available.

UK

Samaritans
Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)
https://www.samaritans.org

National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge)
Call 0808 2000 247
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

Women’s Aid
https://www.womensaid.org.uk

The Survivors’ Handbook (Women’s Aid)
If you’re not sure if your relationship is healthy, worried about someone else, or need guidance:
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/

Clare’s Law
Apply to find out if a current or ex-partner has a history of abuse and may pose a risk:
https://www.met.police.uk/rqo/request/ri/request-information/

USA

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call or text 988
https://988lifeline.org

UK & USA

Crisis Text Line
Text HOME to 741741
https://www.crisistextline.org

House of H.E.R. Support Hub

We have direct links to support services, community spaces, and healing tools here:
 👉 https://stan.store/houseofherpod

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

In the final episode of season one, Hollie and Mollie welcome their first ever guest: Katy Longhurst a survivor, mother, and tech innovator who has transformed unthinkable trauma into tangible change.

With grace and raw honesty, Katy shares her story of surviving years of coercive control, violence, psychological manipulation and how she went on to create Ask Joan, an app designed to help people in domestic abuse situations discreetly call for help from any household appliance.

Instagram: @askjoanapp

www.askjoan.co.uk

This conversation is one of courage, clarity, and deep truth. It’s a testament to every woman who has been told she’s imagining it and proof that healing isn’t just survival, it’s innovation.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussions of trauma, domestic abuse, stalking, and psychological manipulation. Please listen with care and take space if you need to.

💭 “You didn’t just survive, you rebuilt the system that failed you.”

If you need support right now, here are some resources that may help:

National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 200 0247

Samaritans (UK) – Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)

National Suicide Prevention Helpline (US) – Call or text 988

Crisis Text Line (US/UK) – Text HOME to 741741

Women’s Aid (UK) – womensaid.org.uk

‘I’m not sure if my relationship is healthy/ I’m worries about someone else/ I need support - The survivors handbook: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

Claires Law - Apply for information about your current or ex-partner because you're worried they may have a history of abuse and are a risk to you: https://shorturl.at/chTXf

We also have direct links to support resources on our landing page: https://stan.store/houseofherpod

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

It didn’t start with a fist. It started with love bombing, secrets, and silent treatments.

In this raw and fiercely honest episode, Mollie shares - for the first time in full, the story she has kept hidden for months. From falling in love with a man who said all the right things to surviving emotional abuse, financial control, and the terrifying realities of digital stalking, she reveals how leaving nearly cost her everything; including her safety, her business, and her identity.

This is not just Mollie’s story. It’s the silent epidemic of covert narcissistic abuse. It’s the story of women everywhere who wonder: Is this really happening to me?

And it’s proof that even when someone tries to erase your entire world, you can rebuild it, piece by piece, better than ever before.

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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, digital stalking, and trauma. If these topics feel too raw right now, it’s okay to pause, step away, or come back when you’re ready.

House of H.E.R. is a soft place to land, but we honour the fact that healing can be tender and complex. Please take care of your nervous system. You are her. And you’re home now.

If you need support right now, here are some resources that may help:

National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 200 0247

Samaritans (UK) – Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)

National Suicide Prevention Helpline (US) – Call or text 988

Crisis Text Line (US/UK) – Text HOME to 741741

Women’s Aid (UK) – womensaid.org.uk

‘I’m not sure if my relationship is healthy/ I’m worries about someone else/ I need support - The survivors handbook: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/

Claires Law - Apply for information about your current or ex-partner because you're worried they may have a history of abuse and are a risk to you: https://www.met.police.uk/rqo/request/ri/request-information/cl/triage/v2/request-information-under-clares-law/

We also have direct links to support resources on our landing page: https://stan.store/houseofherpod

We created what we needed when we were healing. Our house is your house.

- Hollie & Mollie 🥀

Email: info@houseofher.uk

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/houseofher__/

House of Her HQ: https://stan.store/houseofherpod

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

“Healing isn’t bubble baths. It’s the darkness that almost swallows you and the gold you find there.”

Welcome to House of H.E.R. - a sacred space built for women navigating trauma, heartbreak, ADHD, and the long, winding road back to themselves.

In our very first episode, we’re telling the story of how a random Instagram quote, two chaotic lives, and a thousand whispered truths became a podcast and a movement.

We share:

• How heartbreak and business breakdowns brought us together
• The brutal reality of healing (it’s not just journals and candles)
• Why so many women feel alone in their pain... and why you don’t have to
• Our vision for a community that’s bigger than any podcast

We built House of H.E.R. because we couldn’t find it when we were drowning. If you’re in the thick of it, if you’ve ever felt like “too much” or “too broken” this is for you.

Because you’re not too much. You’re not too late.

You are her. And you’re home now.

Thank you for being here with us, 

Hollie & Mollie 🥀

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, Hollie and Mollie open the doors to one of the most silenced parts of abuse, stalking and harassment.

They share lived experiences of what it means to live in constant fear, the reality of coercive control, and the devastating gap between the law and survivors’ safety. From phone hacking to online surveillance, this conversation exposes how digital abuse and psychological terror leave invisible scars that are still rarely recognised as violence.

This episode is raw, real, and a call for change: for systems that protect women, for online accountability, and for survivors to know they are not alone.

Trigger warning: This episode discusses stalking, harassment, trauma, suicidal thoughts and abuse. Please take care of your heart while listening, pause, step away, or come back when you feel ready.

🔗 Mentioned in this episode:
• The Holly Guard app: a free safety app for anyone at risk of stalking or violence.

https://hollieguard.com/

You’re not too much. You’re not too late. You are her. And you’re home now. 🥀

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

We’re back in a new studio, a new season of life, and a deeper layer of truth. In Part Two of our justice story, Hollie opens up about what happened after the arrest — the calls from CPS, the court dates, the waiting, the disbelief, and the slow realisation of just how much she’d survived.

This episode isn’t only about the legal process. It’s about what happens inside you when the noise stops. About the guilt and shame that linger even after you’ve left. About therapy, somatic healing, and learning that strength isn’t the same thing as being healed.

Trigger warning: this conversation includes themes of trauma, mental health and abuse. Please listen with care and step away if you need to.

If you’ve ever walked away from something that nearly destroyed you, or you’re still in the middle of it, this episode is for you. We’re building a roadmap for healing together — messy, nonlinear, and real.

“You are not too much. You’re not too late. You are her. And you’re home now.” 🥀

Love,

Hollie & Mollie 

⚠️ Trigger warning: contains discussion of abuse, victim shaming, suicide, and mental health.

If you need support right now, here are some resources that may help:

National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 200 0247

Samaritans (UK) – Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)

National Suicide Prevention Helpline (US) – Call or text 988

Crisis Text Line (US/UK) – Text HOME to 741741

Women’s Aid (UK) – womensaid.org.uk

‘I’m not sure if my relationship is healthy/ I’m worries about someone else/ I need support - The survivors handbook: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

Claires Law - Apply for information about your current or ex-partner because you're worried they may have a history of abuse and are a risk to you: https://shorturl.at/chTXf

We also have direct links to support resources on our landing page: https://stan.store/houseofherpod

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of House of H.E.R., Hollie and Mollie sit down to speak about the part of the story that was once untold the leaving, the aftermath, and the long road toward justice.

For the first time, Hollie shares openly about the police process, the court case, and what it really looked like to break free. From the trauma bond that kept her tied, to the car accident that became a turning point, to the relentless harassment and finally the courtroom where truth could no longer be denied this is the reality of surviving domestic abuse.

⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode contains discussions of domestic abuse, trauma, and mental health struggles. Please listen with care, and only if you feel ready.

Our hope is that by opening this chapter, anyone navigating similar pain feels less alone, more informed, and reminded that there is a way through.

Because leaving is not the end of the story it’s the beginning of reclaiming your life.

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

A candid, compassionate deep-dive into the blurry line between love bombing and real love. We unpack butterflies vs. nervous system chaos, boundaries vs. rules, conditional love, attachment styles, and why “calm” is the greenest flag. We share therapy takeaways (hi Angela 👋), inner-child insights, and real-life examples, from “you can’t wear that” to silent treatment. So you can spot control, honour your needs, and choose relationships that let you be you.

Trigger warning: contains discussion of abuse, victim shaming, suicide, and mental health.

Common traits of rigid, porous, and healthy boundaries.

Rigid Boundaries

• Avoids intimacy and close relationships.

• Unlikely to ask for help.

• Has few close relationships.

• Very protective of personal information.

• May seem detached, even with romantic partners.

• Keeps others at a distance to avoid the possibility of rejection.

Porous Boundaries

• Overshares personal information.

• Difficulty saying “no” to the requests of others.

• Overinvolved with other’s problems.

• Dependent on the opinions of others.

• Accepting of abuse or disrespect.

• Fears rejection if they do not comply with others.

Healthy Boundaries

• Values own opinions.

• Doesn’t compromise values for others.

• Shares personal information in an appropriate way (does not over or under share).

• Knows personal wants and needs, and can communicate them.

• Accepting when others say “no” to them.

⸻

Most people have a mix of different boundary types. For example, someone could have healthy boundaries at work, porous boundaries in romantic relationships, and a mix of all three types with their family. One size does not fit all!

If you need support right now, here are some resources that may help:

National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 200 0247

Samaritans (UK) – Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)

National Suicide Prevention Helpline (US) – Call or text 988

Crisis Text Line (US/UK) – Text HOME to 741741

Women’s Aid (UK) – womensaid.org.uk

‘I’m not sure if my relationship is healthy/ I’m worries about someone else/ I need support - The survivors handbook: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/informat...

Claires Law - Apply for information about your current or ex-partner because you're worried they may have a history of abuse and are a risk to you: https://www.met.police.uk/rqo/request...

We also have direct links to support resources on our landing page: https://stan.store/houseofherpod

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

In one of our most unfiltered and urgent conversations yet, we unpack the hidden harm of victim shaming and enabling: the moments when silence, minimisation, and misplaced loyalty feed abuse instead of stopping it. From family members brushing things under the rug to friends still inviting abusers to the barbecue, we name the ways “not getting involved” makes you part of the problem.

We share personal stories of being dismissed, doubted, and told “it’s not that bad,” and explore how that apathy can be more soul-crushing than the abuse itself. This episode isn’t just for survivors — it’s for friends, family, and bystanders who might one day be the lifeline someone needs.

It’s fierce, it’s raw, and it’s a call to action: stop excusing harm. Stop enabling it. And stop letting it hide in plain sight.

Trigger warning: contains discussion of abuse, victim shaming, suicide, and mental health.

10 ways you can help end violence against women:

1.   Listen to and believe survivors
2.   Teach the next generation and learn from them
3.   Call for responses and services fit for purpose
4.   Understand consent
5.   Learn the signs of abuse and how you can help
6.   Start a conversation
7.   Stand against rape culture
8.   Fund women's organizations
9.   Hold each other accountable
10.     Know the data and demand more of it

If you need support right now, here are some resources that may help:

National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 200 0247

Samaritans (UK) – Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)

National Suicide Prevention Helpline (US) – Call or text 988

Crisis Text Line (US/UK) – Text HOME to 741741

Women’s Aid (UK) – womensaid.org.uk

‘I’m not sure if my relationship is healthy/ I’m worries about someone else/ I need support - The survivors handbook: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/informat...

Claires Law - Apply for information about your current or ex-partner because you're worried they may have a history of abuse and are a risk to you: https://www.met.police.uk/rqo/request...

We also have direct links to support resources on our landing page: https://stan.store/houseofherpod

We created what we needed when we were healing. Our house is your house.

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

Trigger warning: This episode covers abuse, trauma and mental health. Please listen when you feel ready.

What if leaving wasn’t the hardest part?

In this raw and deeply honest episode, Hollie and Mollie unravel one of the most confusing and painful parts of abuse recovery, trauma bonding.

From brain chemistry to heartbreak, from missing someone who hurt you to rebuilding your sense of self, this conversation is both an education and a lifeline.

If you’ve ever thought “Why do I still miss him?” or “Am I going mad?”, this episode is for you. You are not alone. You are not broken. And there is life on the other side of this.

What Is Trauma Bonding?

•  Trauma bonding happens when a person develops a strong emotional attachment to someone who is abusive or harmful toward them.
•  It's driven by cycles of intense highs and lows - affection, followed by abuse, then affection again
•  which create confusion and dependency.
•  The bond can feel incredibly powerful, making it very hard for a person to leave even a dangerous relationship.

The Brain Chemistry Behind It

•  Trauma bonding isn't just emotional - it's biochemical.
•  After an abusive incident, the brain craves relief and connection, and when the abuser provides affection again, the brain releases dopamine (the feel-good chemical).
• Cortisol (the stress hormone) spikes during fear or conflict, then drops when the abuser is kind again, making the brain associate relief with the abuser.
•  This chemical rollercoaster can become addictive, reinforcing the bond.

Why It's So Confusing

•  People often wonder: "Why don't they just leave?" but trauma bonding can deeply affect judgement and self-esteem.
•  The victim may hold on to memories of the "good times" and believe they can get the loving side of the person back.
•  Abusers often isolate victims from friends and family, making the bond even stronger because the abuser becomes the centre of the victim's world.

It's Not Only Romantic Relationships

Trauma bonds can happen in various relationships:

•  Romantic partners
• Parent-child dynamics
•  Friendships
•  Cults or extremist groups
•  Workplaces with abusive leadership

Interesting Facts

1.  Stockholm Syndrome is a form of trauma bonding, where hostages develop sympathy for their captors.
2.  Trauma bonds can form surprisingly quickly, sometimes within days, in highly intense situations.
3.  The longer the cycle continues, the harder it becomes to break the bond because of entrenched neurological pathways.
4.  Even after leaving, victims may miss the abuser and feel tempted to reconnect, due to those deep emotional hooks.
5.  Therapy approaches like trauma-informed counselling, EMDR, and somatic therapy can help people break trauma bonds and heal.

Signs You Might Be in a Trauma Bond

•  Feeling loyal to someone despite repeated harm.
•  Making excuses for their bad behaviour.
•  Doubting your memory or reality (gaslighting).
•  Feeling "addicted" to the relationship.
•  Being afraid to leave because of how empty or anxious it might feel.

Hope and Healing 

•  Breaking a trauma bond takes time and support.
•  Understanding what's happening in your brain and emotions can empower you to make safer choices.
•  Support groups, therapy, and trusted friends or family can be crucial lifelines.

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

This bonus episode is pure gratitude and disbelief. Hollie & Mollie sit down, raw and unfiltered, to share the whirlwind of emotions from seeing House of H.E.R hit the top 10 in the Apple Podcasts Mental Health charts, right next to their idol, Roxie Nafousi.

From late-night tears and joyful car screams to the weight of transforming their own pain into something that now holds space for thousands of women, this episode is a love letter to every listener.

They also share the heart behind launching The Her Hood, an intimate community designed to connect and support women beyond the podcast.

If you’ve ever wondered what it feels like to turn heartbreak into healing — this is it.

Head to the link in our bio to join the HERhood 🥀

https://www.patreon.com/c/HOUSEOFHER_?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

Some stories are hard to hear.
Some stories are harder to live through.

This is Hollie's.
Of a love that turned violent. A friendship that turned into fear.
And the slow, sacred journey of finding her way home to herself.

We speak honestly here — about manipulation, gaslighting, control, and how hard it is to leave when the world only sees the highlight reel.

If you need a sign… this is it.

Please follow the links on our stan store for details on where to find support:
https://stan.store/houseofherpod ❤️‍🩹🫂

Or contact us via DM or email info@houseofher.uk 💌

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

Some stories don’t end when you leave 🥀

In Episode 2 of House of H.E.R, I sit down again with my friend Cassie to talk about what happened after I left the part of the story that rarely gets spoken about, and the part that almost broke me.

This episode is about the aftermath. The crash. The moment survival mode finally catches up with you. With the relationship over and the truth beginning to surface, my body and nervous system collapsed under everything they had been holding in for so long. I share what it was like to hit rock bottom, experience suicidal thoughts, and realise that leaving didn’t bring instant relief it brought grief, fear, confusion, and the most intense emotional pain of my life.

We talk honestly about going to the police, the shock of how serious the case became, and what it was like navigating statements, evidence, CPS decisions, arrest, remand, and court. I share why the Victim Personal Statement became one of the most powerful moments of my healing not because it changed the past, but because it gave me my voice back.

This episode also explores the losses that come with speaking up. Friendships ending. People choosing sides. The isolation that can follow telling the truth. And the painful reality that sometimes you have to lose everything connected to your old life in order to save yourself.

We talk about trauma responses no one warns you about  emotional numbness, flashbacks, body-based anxiety, fixation, shame, and the urge to minimise what you went through. And we talk about the slow, uncomfortable realisation that healing doesn’t begin when the danger ends  it begins when your body finally feels safe enough to fall apart.

This is not an easy listen. But it is an honest one.

If you’ve ever wondered why leaving didn’t feel like freedom, why you struggled more after it ended, or why your nervous system feels like it’s still fighting a war that’s already over  this episode is for you.

You are not dramatic. You are not failing. Your body is processing trauma.

What we cover

• What happens after you leave an abusive relationship
 • Nervous system collapse and delayed trauma responses
 • Suicidal thoughts and hitting emotional rock bottom
 • Going to the police and navigating the justice system
 • Arrest, remand, and the court process
 • The Victim Personal Statement and reclaiming your voice
 • Loss of friendships and social fallout after speaking up
 • Why healing doesn’t start when the abuse ends

Trigger Warning

This episode contains discussion of domestic abuse, coercive control, physical violence, strangulation, stalking, suicide, and mental health struggles. If you’re struggling right now or something in this episode has brought things up for you, please know you are not alone and help is available.

UK Support

Samaritans
Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)
https://www.samaritans.org

National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge)
Call 0808 2000 247
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

Women’s Aid
https://www.womensaid.org.uk

The Survivors’ Handbook (Women’s Aid)
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/

Clare’s Law
https://www.met.police.uk/rqo/request/ri/request-information/

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

This episode is the final part of my story not the end, but the beginning of something new.

After the trauma, the court case, and the survival mode, this is where I talk about what healing actually looks like. Not bubble baths and face masks but hard graft, grief, rebuilding self-worth, and learning how to be still after living in fight-or-flight for so long.

We talk honestly about how healing stripped me bare. How the noise didn’t stop overnight. How social media, control, and fear lingered long after the relationship ended  and why real healing couldn’t begin until I finally felt safe.

I open up about:

Why healing isn’t soft  and why it hurts before it helps
The impact of coercive control long after leaving
Social media, fake accounts, and how access doesn’t always end when a relationship does
Losing trust in myself and learning how to find my voice again
Body image, self-worth, and living with trauma-fuelled body dysmorphia
Why doing less healing work sometimes helped me heal more
The power of sitting still instead of running
Cutting out alcohol and seeing clearly for the first time

Turning pain into purpose  and how House of H.E.R. was born from the darkest chapter of my life
This episode is about learning to breathe again. About rebuilding foundations slowly.
About understanding that healing isn’t linear  but it is possible.
If you’re in the thick of it, if you feel like you’re “doing all the work” but still hurting, or if you’re scared you’ll never feel like yourself again this one is for you.

Trigger Warning

This episode contains discussion of domestic abuse, coercive control, physical violence, strangulation, stalking, suicide, and mental health struggles. If you’re struggling right now or something in this episode has brought things up for you, please know you are not alone and help is available.

Samaritans
Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)
https://www.samaritans.org

National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge)
Call 0808 2000 247
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

Women’s Aid
https://www.womensaid.org.uk

The Survivors’ Handbook (Women’s Aid)
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/

Clare’s Law
https://www.met.police.uk/rqo/request/ri/request-information/

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, I’m joined by my sister Amber someone who stood beside me through my experience of domestic abuse, even before she fully understood what was happening.

This conversation isn’t just about my story it’s about the ripple effect of abuse. How it impacts families. How it changes relationships. And how hard it can be to support someone you love when they’re living in survival mode.

Together, we talk honestly about what it was like from her perspective the red flags she noticed, the moments that didn’t sit right, and the guilt that can follow when you look back and realise something wasn’t okay.

We discuss:

• The subtle signs that something wasn’t right personality changes, distancing, silence
• How control shows up quietly before it becomes obvious
• Why family and friends often sense something before they can name it
• The reality of bruises, excuses, and covering things up
• How isolation happens  even within close families
• The impossible position loved ones are put in: wanting to protect, without pushing someone away
• Why “just leave” isn’t helpful  and what is
• How shame, fear, and trauma bonds keep people stuck
• What it’s really like when the truth starts to surface
• How abuse affects not just the victim, but the entire family unit

This episode is for:

• Survivors who feel misunderstood
• Family members who carry guilt or confusion
• Friends who don’t know how to help
• Anyone who has ever trusted their gut but didn’t know what to do next

There is no perfect way to handle these situations.
 But being a safe place can save a life.

You are not weak for staying.
 And you are not wrong for needing time.

If you’re listening and worried about someone you care about:
You are not alone, and there are resources to help you learn how to support safely.

• The Survivor’s Handbook from Women’s Aid offers practical information for anyone affected by domestic abuse  from safety planning, understanding abuse, and options for support.
• The Friends and Family Handbook provides guidance on how to approach someone you’re concerned about, how to listen without judgement, and how to encourage them towards support in a way that feels safe.

Both guides are available online check the links in the show notes for direct access.

If someone is in immediate danger, always call 999.

You doing something as simple as listening or learning how to help can make a real difference. 

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

In this week’s episode of House of H.E.R i’m doing something a little different my first ever solo episode.

I answer the questions i get asked the most, the ones women whisper to themselves at 1am but don’t always feel brave enough to say out loud.

Why do i still miss him?
Why do i feel guilty for “ruining his life”?
Why do i feel worse after leaving?
Is it intuition… or is it trauma?

Why do i feel embarrassed about what i tolerated?
Does it actually get better?

We talk about trauma bonds, nervous system crashes, shame, self-blame and the reality of healing after abuse  especially the messy middle that nobody prepares you for.

I share honestly about what helped me, what didn’t, the things that made the biggest difference in my healing, and why feeling relief and grief at the same time is completely normal.

If your mind has been racing lately and you’ve been questioning yourself, this episode is here to remind you that what you’re feeling makes sense.

Trigger Warning

This episode contains discussion of domestic abuse, coercive control, physical violence, trauma bonding, suicide, and mental health.

If you need support

If you’re struggling right now or something in this episode has brought things up for you, you are not alone and help is available.

UK

Samaritans
Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)
https://www.samaritans.org

National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge)
Call 0808 2000 247
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

Women’s Aid
https://www.womensaid.org.uk

The Survivors’ Handbook (Women’s Aid)
If you’re not sure if your relationship is healthy, worried about someone else, or need guidance:
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/

Clare’s Law
Apply to find out if a current or ex-partner has a history of abuse and may pose a risk:

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of House of H.E.R., I’m joined by Danielle from Oasis Domestic Abuse Service a UK domestic abuse charity supporting survivors across Kent and the South East.

Danielle speaks not only as a domestic abuse partnership specialist, but also from lived experience. She understands coercive control, trauma bonds, and post-separation abuse both professionally and personally  which makes this conversation honest, grounded, and deeply real.

We talk about what domestic abuse actually looks like beyond physical violence  especially coercive control, emotional abuse, psychological manipulation, and the patterns that slowly erode your confidence.

Most importantly, we break down what happens when you reach out to a domestic abuse charity.

What is safety planning?
 What is a DASH risk assessment?
 What is MARAC?
 Do you have to report to the police to get help?
 What happens if you have children?
 How does refuge support actually work?

If you are thinking about leaving an abusive relationship or supporting someone who is  this episode explains the practical steps, risks, and protections available in the UK.

Leaving can be the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship. But you do not have to do it alone.

This episode is for anyone experiencing domestic abuse, coercive control, trauma bonding, and for those who want to understand how domestic abuse charities support survivors behind the scenes.

UK Domestic Abuse Support Links

Oasis Domestic Abuse Service (Kent & South East)
 Website: https://www.oasisdaservice.org

Helpline: 01702 302333

Hollie Guard Personal Safety App
 Download here: https://hollieguard.com

If you are in immediate danger, call 999.

You are not alone.
 Support is available.
 Love should never hurt.

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

In this powerful and deeply emotional episode of House of H.E.R., Hollie is joined by Annie, who shares her story publicly for the first time.

Released on International Women’s Day, this episode shines a light on a side of domestic abuse that is not spoken about enough  what it looks like to experience abuse while pregnant, becoming a first-time mum, navigating birth trauma, and then trying to survive early motherhood while living in fear.

Annie opens up about the early red flags, love bombing, violence, coercive control, the confusion that keeps so many women trapped, and the moment she knew she had to leave for good. Together, Hollie and Annie talk about how abuse can look “normal” from the outside, how difficult it can be to make sense of what is happening when you are in it, and why motherhood can both complicate and strengthen the decision to leave.

This is a raw, honest and incredibly important conversation that will resonate with so many women, especially those trying to navigate abuse while raising a child.

in this episode, we cover:

 ✨ the early warning signs and intense love bombing
 ✨ why red flags can be so easy to excuse at the beginning
 ✨ moving quickly in relationships and how abusers create fast emotional dependence
 ✨ the first violent incident and how the cycle began
 ✨ how apologies, charm and “good periods” keep women stuck
 ✨ Annie’s experience of doing Clare’s Law and what it revealed
✨ becoming pregnant and why abuse does not always escalate straight away
✨ how things changed after the baby was born
✨ birth trauma, neonatal care and navigating those early days alone
✨ the emotional abuse, criticism and cruelty Annie faced as a new mum
✨ how drink, drugs, disappearing and gaslighting became part of the pattern
✨ the reality of trying to survive abuse while caring for a newborn
✨ the moment Annie finally left
✨ what happened when co-parenting began
✨ the assault that led to police involvement
✨ social services, police response and how overwhelming that process can feel
✨ getting a non-molestation order for protection
 

important links mentioned in this episode

claire’s law / domestic violence disclosure scheme
Find out more about Clare’s Law on GOV.UK
 

non-molestation order form (FL401)
Apply for a non-molestation or occupation order: Form FL401

If this episode brings anything up for you, please know you are not alone.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse or are worried about someone you know, support is available. You do not have to wait until things get “worse” to ask for help.

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of House of H.E.R., Hollie is joined by Tiarny and Ben from Australia for a powerful conversation about healing after trauma, addiction, and abusive relationships.

Both guests share their deeply personal journeys  from surviving toxic relationships, addiction, and emotional wounds to rebuilding their lives and learning how to create healthy, secure relationships.

Together we explore the realities of healing after abuse, including the impact trauma has on the nervous system, attachment styles, and why relationships after abuse can feel so confusing and triggering.

This conversation also dives into how men can create emotional safety in relationships, why healing requires both partners to do the work, and the importance of accountability, boundaries, and self-worth when rebuilding your life.

This episode is not just for women it’s also an important conversation for men, partners, and anyone wanting to understand the deeper emotional impact of trauma and abuse.

By sharing these stories and insights, our hope is to remind anyone listening that healing is possible, growth is possible, and healthy love does exist.

• Ben’s journey from addiction, crime and prison to sobriety and rebuilding his life
 • Tiarny’s experience of domestic abuse and the long road to healing
 • Why trauma changes the nervous system and how hyper-vigilance develops
 • The difference between anxious and avoidant attachment styles
 • Why relationships after abuse can feel triggering and confusing
 • The importance of emotional intelligence in healthy relationships
 • How men can create emotional safety for women after trauma
 • Why healing requires both partners to take responsibility for their growth
 • Addiction, abusive behaviour, and why the two are often connected
 • Why therapy helps with understanding trauma but deeper healing requires action
 • The power of doing the inner work before entering a healthy relationship
 • Why shared healing journeys can transform relationships

I’m really excited for you to hear this one.

Go show them some love:
 @tiarnyls
 @benlowecoaching

https://insidious-pint-d0a.notion.site/Life-Beyond-The-Chaos-An-Invitation-3036da0d4b6a80f2b017e99178f8328a

If you are affected by domestic abuse, please know you are not alone and support is available:

• National Domestic Abuse Helpline (UK) – 0808 2000 247
• Women’s Aid – womensaid.org.uk
• Refuge – refuge.org.uk

If you are in immediate danger, please contact 999.

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, Hollie sits down with Holly, founder of Vera and Vale Private Investigations, to unpack the reality of emotional abuse, coercive control, gut instinct, manipulation, and what happens when your reality has been distorted for so long that you stop trusting yourself.

From the early warning signs of unhealthy behaviour to control disguised as care, this conversation dives into the hidden side of abuse that so many women live through but struggle to name. Holly brings a unique perspective through her lived experience, criminology studies, published research, police background, and investigative work helping women gain clarity when they feel confused, dismissed, or made to feel like they’re going mad.

This episode is honest, insightful, and incredibly validating for anyone who has ever felt like something was wrong but couldn’t fully explain why.

What we cover in this episode:

• what coercive control actually is and why so many women don’t recognise it at first
 • the early signs of emotional abuse and “control disguised as care”
 • why you feel like you’re going mad in certain relationships
 • the difference between gut instinct and trauma after abuse
 • how manipulation and gaslighting distort your reality
 • why “you’re overthinking” is often used to dismiss what you’re actually noticing
 • the link between infidelity, deception and emotional abuse
 • how a private investigator can help you gain clarity in confusing situations
 • the power of facts vs feelings when you’re stuck in self-doubt
 • rebuilding trust in yourself after your reality has been distorted

To get in touch with hollie, please visit her website where you can fill in a contact form:  https://veraandvale.co.uk or send her a dm on instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/veraandvalelondon/ X

Support & resources:

if anything discussed in this episode has affected you, please know you are not alone and support is available

• national domestic abuse helpline (uk) – 0808 2000 247 (24/7, free & confidential)
 • women’s aid – https://www.womensaid.org.uk
• refuge – https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk
• nspcc (for concerns around children) – 0808 800 5000

• clare’s law (the right to ask) – you can apply through your local police force to find out if a partner has a history of abuse
 • non-molestation order information – https://www.gov.uk/injunction-domestic-violence

if you are in immediate danger, please call 999

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

In this week’s episode, we are joined by naturopathic practitioner Kia Porter, who works with women to reduce inflammation and regulate their nervous system by addressing both the physical and emotional root causes. This conversation dives into why so many women still feel anxious, overwhelmed, and disconnected after leaving a traumatic or abusive situation, and how our body holds onto that stress long after we’ve physically left. We talk about the impact of food, hormones, and daily habits on your nervous system, why traditional approaches don’t always get to the root of the problem, and how small, realistic changes can begin to bring your body back to safety. This episode is for any woman who feels stuck in fight or flight and is ready to understand her body, reconnect with herself, and start healing properly from the inside out.

What We Cover In This Episode:

•  Why you can leave a toxic situation but still not feel “at peace” 
•  How trauma keeps your nervous system stuck in fight, flight or freeze 
•  The connection between emotional trauma, inflammation, and physical symptoms 
•  Why anxiety, brain fog, fatigue and hormonal issues are all linked 
•  The difference between “coping” and actually healing 
•  Why doctors often treat symptoms and not root causes 
•  How food, caffeine and blood sugar impact your mood and nervous system 
•  The truth about supplements and why not all of them are right for you 
•  How trauma and suppressed emotions are stored in the body 
•  The role of energy, gut health, and your internal state in healing 
•  Why you feel disconnected from yourself after abuse 
•  Small, simple daily habits to start regulating your nervous system 
•  The importance of stillness, boundaries, and slowing down 
•  Rebuilding self-worth and learning to be kind to yourself again 
•  How to start reconnecting with your body in a safe, realistic way 

To get in touch with Kia, you can connect with her on Instagram where she shares education around nervous system regulation, inflammation, and healing from the inside out: https://www.instagram.com/kiaporter_/

You can also find more information about her services, programs, and ways to work with her via the links in her bio.

Supplements Kia spoke about during the episode that can support nervous system regulation:

• Calm Complex – https://healf.com/en-uk/products/biocare-calm-complex?variant=46190027178223&selling_plan=6474727663

• L-Theanine 200mg – https://healf.com/en-uk/products/now-foods-theanine-200mg?variant=44836365795567&selling_plan=6028263663

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, Hollie is back in the hot seat with Cassie for one of the most emotional and defining conversations yet as she shares the real story behind the launch of the House of H.E.R Hub and why this is so much more than just a platform. What started as a podcast rooted in healing, empowerment and sharing her journey has now evolved into something built for every woman, at every stage, whether you are questioning, stuck, planning to leave, in the middle of leaving, or trying to rebuild your life after. Hollie opens up about what she experienced when she left, the confusion, the trauma bond, the constant questioning of herself, the lack of understanding around why she still missed him and went back, and the overwhelming realisation that whilst awareness of domestic abuse is growing, there is still such a huge gap when it comes to the emotions women are left carrying after it ends. In this episode, they talk about coercive control, trauma bonding, PTSD, the fear that doesn’t just disappear, and the reality that leaving is often the most dangerous and confusing part. Hollie shares how she relied on Google at the time and how isolating and impersonal that felt, and why she became so passionate about creating something that feels relatable, accessible and safe, a place where women can understand what they are going through, learn the terminology they may have never heard before, access support, and feel less alone without judgment. They also talk about the responsibility that comes with sharing stories like this, the emotional weight of holding space for other women, and how turning pain into purpose has become part of Hollie’s healing journey too. This episode is honest, raw and hopeful, and marks the beginning of a new chapter for House of H.E.R as it moves into Heal. Escape. Rebuild. If you have ever felt stuck, confused, scared or like you are losing yourself in a relationship, this episode is for you.

What We Cover In This Episode:

– The rebrand from Healed. Empowered. Rich to Heal. Escape. Rebuild
– Why awareness alone isn’t enough and the gap after leaving abuse
– The emotional reality of trauma bonding and going back
– Feeling “crazy”, confused and questioning yourself
– Why leaving can be the most dangerous time
– The lack of relatable, personalised support when searching for help
– Hollie’s experience of relying on Google and feeling alone
– PTSD, flashbacks and the ongoing impact after abuse
– Turning pain into purpose and building something bigger than yourself
– The vision behind House of H.E.R Hub
– Creating a safe, non-judgmental space for women at every stage
– Why community and shared experience matters in healing
– Fear around the future and life after abuse
– Hope, rebuilding and believing life can get better

Link to access website 
https://houseofherhub.com/

You can also save the website directly to your phone so it sits like an app on your home screen, making it quick, private and easy to access whenever you need it. To do this, open the website in your browser, tap the share icon, and select “Add to Home Screen”. For added discretion and safety, it may appear as “Wellness” once saved.

Please note: House of H.E.R Hub is not a replacement for emergency services, professional legal advice, or specialist domestic abuse support services. It is designed to provide guidance, education, resources and support. If you are in immediate danger, please contact emergency services or a trusted professional.

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀