Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Honeydew Me

“My ex told me I have a wide vagina. Am I normal?” That’s this week’s listener confession. And after six years of reading listener messages, we can tell you with certainty that some version of “is my vagina normal?” is the single most-asked question we get. SO HERE WE GO. We dive into the medical facts (we looked them up), the biology, and the much bigger issue we need to be addressing: why men go straight for comments about our bodies when they want to hurt us and how to stop letting it get to you.

We Cover:

• The medical truth on “wide set vaginas” (spoiler: Mean Girls lied, it isn’t a real term, and here’s what Dr. Jennifer Wider actually says about vaginal diameter)
• Why your physiology (aka AROUSAL) might be the reason he felt “less friction” 
• The reason insulting a woman’s body is a shitty man's go to when they want to hurt you
• The reframe every vagina owner NEEDS to internalize... your vagina is normal, your labia are normal, your taste and smell are normal, all of it
• What to actually do if there IS a real size mismatch in a relationship (there are a thousand solutions, we cover a few)
• AND why even if you DO have a wide vagina it literally doesn't matter, and you are perfection personified 

Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast.

If you're in the Portland, OR area don't forget to join our "Portland, OR Girlies" group chat in our Instagram bio!

Rock-solid confidence, sex you genuinely enjoy, and healthier relationships all start with actually knowing yourself. This week, Em & Cass are talking with Laura Rubin, a creative coach, journaling expert, and founder of AllSwell Creative. She’s led breakthrough writing workshops for tens of thousands of people, been covered by The New York Times, Washington Post, Vogue, and Forbes, and built a career blending neuroscience and mindfulness to prove that writing by hand actually rewires how you think and feel. She joins Em and Cass to share how journaling can become the catalyst for confident decisions, healthier relationships, and better conversations in bed.

If you're thinking...

• “I always start a journal, go hard for a week, and quit.” Laura's got a 4-minute practice that will literally rock your world and make journaling feel practical and accessible. 
• “I don't even know what I would write about." Laura shares specific prompts to help you navigate your trickiest intimacy moments (when you don’t like how you look naked, when you have no idea what turns you on, when you can’t tell what’s yours vs. what you’ve been told to want). 
• “Isn’t this just more wellness bullshit?” Laura didn't come here to BS. She's sharing the science-backed, FREE methods to actually change your life both in the bedroom and beyond.
• “Will this actually change anything in my sex life or my relationships?” Yes. Press play already.

Connect with Laura and AllSwell Creative on Instagram and on her website.

Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast.

Last week, a top couples therapist presented us with the research. This week it’s just us, no therapist in the room, trading what has actually worked in our own long-term relationships (and what has very much not). Cass gets into her current trying-list for keeping sex alive when she's tired, parenting, and has nothing left. Em gets into how she ruined sex for herself in past relationships without even realizing it. Cass opens up for the first time, with her husband’s permission, about his bipolar diagnosis and the “my person wouldn’t do that” story she had to let go of to stay married. For anyone who felt called tf out by last week's episode and wants the unqualified besties version.

What you’ll learn:

• The two “secrets” we’re actually using to keep our relationships alive and thriving (tbh therapists might not agree lol)
• Cass’s current trying-list for keeping sex alive 10 years into her long-term love (pink pill, non-sexual touch, accountability for her desire, and actually using the resources we talk about)
• Why using sex as a repair tool is the fastest way to kill it, and what to use it for instead
• How to tell when you’ve slipped into a story about your partner (“they don’t get me,” “my person wouldn’t do that”) and how to quit before it ruins your relationship
• Our actual rules for what you can and can’t tell your friends about fights with your partner
• The habits we each need to kick to feel like adults in our relationships (one of us is lazy, one of us is a control freak)
• The very petty list of what the men we’ve slept with need to start doing to qualify as grownups

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Zach Brittle is a Gottman-certified couples therapist in Seattle, host of Marriage Therapy Radio, and author of the upcoming book Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes. He's been happily married for 27 of 30 years (as in he GETS IT and has actually done the work) and has interviewed hundreds of couples, which means when he talks about relationships, he's not guessing. He joins Em and Cass for a no-bullshit conversation about what actually makes long-term love work.

What you'll learn:

• How to actually build a thriving long-term relationship (and the two things most couples get wrong)
• Why "spontaneous sex" is a lie you've been mourning for no reason, and what to replace it with
• The exact sex negotiation one of his couples swears by (and how to steal it)
• Why learning the difference between physical intimacy that isn't sexual and sexual intimacy that isn't physical will completely change your sex life
• How to spot negative sentiment override in your own relationship (and why it's turning every "how was your day" into a fight)
• The one mindset shift that will change everything: why your relationship is NOT a zero-sum game, and nobody has to lose for you to win

Find Zach at @marriagetherapyradio on Instagram, listen to Marriage Therapy Radio every Tuesday, and pre-order Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes out in April.

One of you confessed: "I fear I'll never truly feel hot or sexy, and admitting that makes me feel even more lame." Em and Cass dive into why hotness feels like a make-or-break game we literally can't win: the impossible standards, the "hot girls are just born that way" myth, the way our attractiveness has been sold to us as our only real form of power, and why insecurity itself has somehow become the ugliest thing you can admit to. They get into the "am I f*ckable" question at the root of it all, the glow-up TikToks we've all saved, the effort we don't want to have to put in, and the small practices that have actually made them feel better (and hotter).

Introducing our new monthly segment where YOU send in the anonymous confessions you can't tell anyone else, and we give you the honest reaction, advice, and pep talk you'd get if you sent it to your group chat. Submit yours at the link in our bio or HERE!

Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast

We’re digging into the Honey Archives to bring back one of our favorite conversations, and one we think everyone could use a little refresher on.

Anna Kai, creator of Maybe Both and one of our favorite internet hype women, joins us for a brutally honest conversation about confidence, self-worth, comparison, and figuring out who the hell you are when life doesn’t look the way you thought it would.

If you’ve been feeling behind, questioning your worth, comparing your timeline to everyone else’s, or simply need a reminder that you don’t have to earn your right to feel good about yourself... consider this episode your confidence reset.

In this episode, we cover:

• What we should ACTUALLY be focusing on in our 20s
• How to build self-worth when yours feels nonexistent
• What to tell yourself when everyone else seems “ahead”
• Navigating rock bottom and finding your footing again
• Getting off the comparison train
• Letting go of the need to be liked by everyone
• Embracing the freedom of your 20s — single OR partnered

An oldie, a goodie, and your reminder to stop measuring your life against everyone else’s. 💛

Connect with Anna:

Listen to Brutally Anna

Connect on TikTok 

Visit her website HERE! 

Keep up with Honeydew Me:

• On Instagram
• On TikTok 
• On YouTube

Aja Vines... intuitive guide, oracle reader, and self-appointed "rebirth doula" who has personally survived approximately 100 identity pivots and expects to survive 100 more before she leaves this earth. She joins Em and Cass for a shamelessly real conversation about big pivots. Together they unpack why leaving something without a backup plan is sometimes the most sane thing you can do, why publicly changing your mind feels humiliating (and you should absolutely do it anyway), and how to tell the difference between burnout that needs rest and a real 'this chapter is over' kind of moment.

Emma unpacks her year of unemployment, Cass gets called out on tearing herself down mid-pivot, and Aja closes with a live oracle reading for anyone on a journey right now (or about to start one).

Find Aja on TikTok @ajavines and book a reading with her here!

Serena F*cking Kerrigan... your favorite creator and soon to be new favorite author of the upcoming book Let's F*cking Date. A dating bible for all our girlies who are currently in the "trenches" of the dating world and looking for a way to "become the prize, enjoy the ride, and never settle again." She joins Em and Cass for a ZERO BS breakdown of everything we're getting wrong about dating, from why "waiting for your person" is a trap that will basically ruin your life, to how having a roster will kill off any remnants of your scarcity mentality. Plus, Emma reports back on the date she went on SPECIFICALLY to try out Serena's rules, and they rapid-fire the red flags every 30-something should probably already know. Find Serena on Instagram at @serenakerrigan and pre-order Let's F*cking Date wherever you get your books.

A listener wrote in mortified: "I do stuff in fights with my boyfriend that I would be so embarrassed for my friends to find out about. Very petty shit. Bringing up things from years ago, silent treatment, crying to get my way. Am I just an immature bitch?" We dive in head first with our own worst fighting confessions, from slamming doors to walking away for attention. Spoiler: we've done all of it. Then we get into why we do this shit in the first place and what actually helped us move from "immature bitches" to "slightly more mature bitches."

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A listener wrote in, and she's pissed. She's been dropping spicy hints like nobody's business (wearing what he likes, flirty comments, changing with the door open), and her partner isn't picking up on any of them. She wants him to initiate. She wants to feel pursued. And yes, she knows she could just ask. Em and Cass get into how we all still want a mind-reader, the community polls (62% of you drop hints instead of asking for sex, 85% want your partner to initiate more), and how to actually build a communication style that doesn't require your partner to be Edward fucking Cullen.

Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive content and ad free episodes.

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Alyssa Ljub is an intimacy and relationship expert who coaches dozens of couples a day in her role as a concierge at Arya. She joins Em and Cass to unpack the biggest hurdles couples hit when it comes to sex, why scheduling sex is FAR from unsexy, the difference between responsive and spontaneous desire, and the most common ways rejection shows up in long-term relationships. Find Alyssa at @alyssaljub on Instagram and TikTok and Arya at arya.fyi.

Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive content and ad free episodes.

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Dr. Justin Garcia is the Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, chief scientific advisor to Match, and the author of the new book The Intimate Animal. He joins Em and Cass for a wide-ranging conversation on why modern intimacy feels so hard, and why he's optimistic about it anyway.

They get into the intimacy crisis (why we can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely), the "all-or-nothing" marriage model that's crushing modern relationships, the real story behind the sex recession and why declining frequency might not be a bad thing, the biology of monogamy versus sexual novelty (and the three ways couples navigate that tension), why 80% of marriages actually got stronger during the pandemic, and how dating apps are breaking our brains by tricking us into thinking every person is disposable. Plus the stat that 70% of people become deeply attracted to someone they didn't initially think they would, why the "work on yourself first" culture might be keeping you single, and the line Justin's built his relationship advice around: the grass is greener where you water it.

Find The Intimate Animal wherever you get your books, and Dr. Justin Garcia on Instagram at @drjustingarcia.

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A listener wrote in asking about a version of jealousy a lot of us are ashamed to admit: "I don't feel excited when good things happen to my friends anymore. Engagements, promotions, pregnancies, whatever. I fake it every time and feel like a monster." Em and Cass dive in head first with their own confessions, including the jealousy they've felt toward each other, which they've never actually shared until now.

They read the community polls (89% of you compare yourselves to your friends), read anonymous submissions on comparing looks, cars, and friend groups, and lasty run a rapid-fire agree/disagree round on when jealousy crosses the line.

Come to "Bouquets & Besties" on Sunday, August 9th in Portland, Oregon! Get your tickets HERE!

Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive content and ad free episodes.

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Brooke Bralove has spent 22 years as a sex therapist helping women figure out what's actually going on when desire disappears. Her take: your desire isn't broken or gone, it's just stuck. She joins Em and Cass to talk about why the sex we had at the beginning of a relationship isn't coming back (and why we need to grieve that), why "just try to be in the mood" is terrible advice, and how a new kind of therapy called ART is helping women unstick everything from low libido to body image spirals in as little as one session.

Find Brooke at brookebralove.com and @brookebralovepsychotherapy on Instagram.

Want to hang out IRL?! Come to our event "Bouquets & Besties" on Aug. 9th 2026. Get your tickets HERE!

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We all want closer friendships, but too few of us are actually having the conversations that would get us there. This week Em and Cass answer a listener question about how to have hard conversations with friends, and get into the years they spent hiding things from each other: postpartum shame, a months-long sex-life crisis, feeling left out, feeling jealous, feeling like too much.

They read the community polls (68% of you have lied about how good your sex life is, 85% of you have hidden a relationship problem from your friends because you didn't want them to judge your partner) and answer five anonymous confessions, from the friend who's secretly not excited when her friends get pregnant, to the woman who hooked up with her friend's boyfriend before they started dating, to the one where you don't know how to tell your friend she isn't showing up.

For anyone who's been biting their tongue with their best friend because they were scared of what the honesty would cost, this epi is for you, babe.

Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive content and ad free episodes.

Want to submit a question or story? Do it anonymously HERE.

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HOT RELATIONSHIP TIP: fighting isn’t a bad thing… but you do need to learn how to fight fair. Emmalee Bierly, LMFT and Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT of Shrink Chicks are back and this time they’re sharing their expert tips on how to fight. We cover: -Why fighting is actually a part of a healthy relationship -How to fight fair -How to regulate your emotions during a fight -Scripts for expressing your feelings and apologizing -What resentment can look like and how it manifests in our relationships -The grief that comes along with committing to a long term relationship

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Dr. Adi Jaffe has a PhD in psychology from UCLA, is a TEDx speaker, and founded IGNTD, a platform reframing how we talk about addiction, shame, and recovery. He joins Em and Cass for a wide-ranging conversation on addiction, mental health, and the skill nobody teaches us: how to sit with discomfort instead of running from it.

They get into what addiction actually is, why so many of us are quietly struggling with some version of it, and why the behaviors we lean on to cope (porn, drinking, doom scrolling, work) all trace back to the same thing. Adi walks them through what happens in a relationship when one person uses those behaviors to avoid intimacy, how shame keeps people stuck, and his framework for working through it. 

Find Dr. Adi at adijaffe.com and on Instagram at @dradijaffe. Unhooked is wherever you get your books.

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A listener's boyfriend called her high maintenance in front of his friends, and now she's second-guessing everything. Em and Cass are here to break it down and help her figure it out. They share the results of their (very amateur) research... because it turns out 60% of you have also been called high maintenance. They read your stories, come clean about their own, and get honest about the ways in which they truly are a little hard to maintain. Lastly, they reframe the concept of being "too much" and remind you that the best shit always has more needs.

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Laura Federico is a certified sex therapist. Morgan Miller is a certified professional midwife who runs a birth center in Maine. They've been friends since their early twenties and recently co-authored "The Cycle Book," a guide and tracking tool built to teach people about their hormones before they're in crisis. They join Em and Cass to talk about why most of us only learn about our cycles when something is already wrong, and what changes when you actually understand what your body is doing.

From there, they get into the trap of cycle-syncing programs (the seed cycling, the diets, the "stay in bed during your luteal phase" advice), why ovulation deserves way more attention than it gets, the cervical fluid biomarker nobody was taught about in middle school, and why the natural-versus-unnatural binary is a red flag every time. They explain why they're fans of tracking your cycle even on hormonal birth control, what they actually think of Oura Rings, and the stat about period tracking apps that should be on every billboard (they're 21% accurate at predicting ovulation, and your data is being bought and sold).

You can find "The Cycle Book" wherever books are sold, and Laura and Morgan at itslauraandmorgan.com and on Instagram at @itslauraandmorgan.

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A listener wrote in about her upcoming girls' weekend. The rental has a hot tub, everyone's going to be in bikinis, and she's nervous about how she looks in a bathing suit. Em and Cass share their own experiences navigating this exact scenario, plus a few tips for managing the anxiety without limiting your damn life.

From there, Cass walks us all through her recent nose job: why she wanted it, the cost breakdown, post-anesthesia antics and the healing process.

Emma shares the story of Elise Ottesen-Jensen, a Swedish journalist and anarchist who started teaching women about their bodies in the early 1900s and went on to co-found the International Planned Parenthood Federation. 

They close with a "normalize-this" segment on what summer bodies actually look like, plus listener hot takes (i.e. FREE THE BUSH).

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You asked, our favorite gynecologist answered. We brought Dr. Maria Sophocles, a board-certified OB-GYN of 30 years, back on Honeydew Me to tackle the questions our community has been too nervous to ask their own doctors (which we COMPLETELY understand). 

Before we got into your questions, she explained exactly why so many of us feel behind: most of us learned about sex from porn, a sibling, or a condom on a banana, and the U.S. still largely refuses to teach it well. (The Dutch, it turns out, are doing it right, and their teens are WAY better off for it.) So no, it's not your fault you don't know this stuff, and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Now let's get into iiiiit!

We cover:

• When a doctor shames you for asking a question: why a dismissive provider is usually acting from their own discomfort, not your ignorance, and how to advocate for yourself anyway.
• Can your gynecologist tell if you've had sex recently? The honest answer is yes, but only in one specific case. Dr. Maria explains what actually gives it away and why there's no reason for shame either way.
• What to expect at your first gyno appointment: why a first visit may not involve an exam at all, what the full exam actually includes, and how to make it a two-step process if you're nervous.
• Do pap smears have to hurt? Dr. Maria validates that the pain is real and pushes back on the "tough it out" culture, with specific things you can ask for: a smaller speculum, numbing, and meds beforehand.
• Scared of the gyno or putting it off? Facing the real barriers honestly, including bias in women's healthcare, and why skipping care still only hurts you.
• What an "abnormal" pap really means: why it's usually not what you fear, what the levels actually signify, and how the HPV connection factors in.
• The fishy-smell question, answered: what BV actually is, the surprising polyester link, and how to treat it (including whether boric acid really works).

This conversation is educational and not a substitute for your own provider's advice.

Connect with Dr. Sophocles on Instagram @mariasophoclesmd, on her website here, or by ordering a copy of The Bedroom Gap!

⁠

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Anna Nickerson is the founder of Cherry, the first brand closing the gap between period care and pleasure. Their first product is a menstrual disc designed for completely mess-free period sex. She joins Cass and Emma to talk about why period sex is still taboo (and what we lose by avoiding it: roughly seven years of sex over a woman's lifetime), how to actually use a disc without panicking, the difference between period positivity and period neutrality, and why a man who refuses period sex is usually telling on himself.

In this episode:

• The real girl math we need to be doing: skipping intimacy during your period adds up to almost seven years of sex over your lifetime
• Period positivity vs period neutrality: what actually destigmatizes the conversation around periods and why we don't have to aim for absolutely LOVING our periods
• What happens when we apologize for being on our periods and what changes when we stop
• The double standard nobody calls out: women accept everything men's bodies do (the semen, the sweat, the lack of a headboard), but our blood is somehow the grossest thing in the relationship
• Cherry's menstrual disc explained: what it's made of, where it actually sits (under the cervix, not in the vaginal canal), how to insert it without it being scary, and why your partner shouldn't feel it
• The Berkeley study that found lead in tampons and the lack of FDA enforcement that lets it stay there
• Why a partner being disgusted by period blood is a red flag worth taking seriously

Find Cherry at cherry.love, on Instagram at @wearecherry.love, and follow Anna on TikTok at @theperiodseggsgirl.

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Emma and Cass open with a listener question that hits a little too close to home: "I just turned 30 and I hate my job, my apartment, and the city I live in. Do I blow it all up or am I just having a moment?" Emma says blow it the f up. Cass, who spent a year deeply unhappy in her marriage, her motherhood, and her life in general, says try 5% better first. \

From there: Cass on the motherhood imposter syndrome that hit her like a freight train (after 27 years of never feeling it), Emma on the version she's lived with her whole life, the menstrual blood research that's genuinely wild, and an unhinged agree/disagree game powered by Cass's husband's questions.

In this episode:

• The listener question: turning 30, hating everything, and Emma vs Cass on whether to blow it up or stay put.

• "Wherever you go, there you are." Cass on the year she was deeply unwell and what she did instead of running, plus the 5% rule for making your life better without burning it down.

• "If you're a girly pop in your 30s who has let decisions make you instead of making them, maybe it's time to fucking blow it up." Emma's case for the hard pivot, geographic escapism included.

• Motherhood imposter syndrome that lasted two years, the postpartum therapist who said stop waiting for the cute walks to happen to you, and the day at the park when Cass realized she was a real mom talking to real moms.

• Emma on feeling like an imposter in every room she walks into, including the one she literally built.

• Emma's run-in with a guy she used to sleep with, and a description of his anatomy you will not forget.

• New menstrual blood research: Dr. Gemma Evans at the Hudson Institute found menstrual plasma heals wounds 40 times faster than regular blood plasma. 

• A review of decades of yo-yo dieting research turns out to be way less scary than we've been told, and Cass is mad about how women get shamed either way.

• The SPF lip gloss that Emma keeps stealing from Cass's bathroom.

• The toy Emma can't get enough of. Get yours HERE at Bellesa!

• Agree/disagree with questions from Cass's husband: texting your ex, thirst-trap likes, body counts as a red flag, fighting a goose, landing a passenger plane, men should always pay.

For anyone in their late 20s or 30s who's ever wanted to quit everything by Tuesday, or felt like an imposter in a room they literally built.

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NYC-based comedian, actor, and storyteller Star Stone (@starstonespeaks) joins us to talk about the years she spent inside Onetaste, a Bay Area "sexual wellness" group that built a multi-million dollar operation around a 15-minute clitoris stroking practice and is now better known for being investigated by the FBI. Star takes us through the sex education gap that primed her for it, the relationship that kept her there, the empowerment language that quietly turned coercive, and the long road back to her own desires. 

In this episode:

• Why Star (and basically every millennial woman) ended up Googling her own anatomy in her 20s, and how that vacuum is exactly what predatory communities count on
• How "edge work" gets weaponized: when "lean into your edge" becomes a way to talk you past your own no, and what to listen for before you sign anything
• The exact red flags Star wishes she'd clocked sooner (absolute promises, paywalls disguised as inner circles, "you're blocked, that's why you need the course," and the universal cult truth: there's always land)
• What actually happened inside Onetaste: the practice, the paid intros, the group rooms, the moment the FBI investigation quietly ended in-person practices and nobody told the members
• Toxic empowerment versus the real thing: how organizations dress up dependency as liberation, and how to spot the difference before they have your money and your nervous system
• Getting out: the eviction, calling her dad, going viral and getting hated online days after leaving, and the five years of celibacy and self-isolation that followed
• Rebuilding a sexual identity from scratch when you can't tell anymore which desires were yours and which were normalized inside the group

For anyone who's ever wondered how smart, curious women end up in places like this, and for anyone trying to tell the difference between a teacher and a trap. Star's show CL*T CULT runs June 3rd at 7 p.m. at The Pit NYC, tickets at starstonespeaks.com or @starstonespeaks on Instagram.

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Cass turns 30 the day this episode drops, and this is the conversation we wish someone had handed us at 22. Not our Pinterest board versions of adulthood (there was too much turquoise and chevron on there anyway). The real one, where "adult money" gets spent on prenatal vitamins for thinning hair, a trampoline, and a personal finance book.

Emma found her old high school career class papers this week. Sixteen-year-old Emma wanted to open an equine therapy center, planned to go to college in the Pacific Northwest (where she'd meet her husband), wanted to fix "ignorance" in the world (misspelled), and confessed her most recent life lesson was that she didn't like pot pies but kept making them anyway. Emma's now 30, single, and living alone. Cass swore she'd be single, childfree, and a world-traveling journalist, and now she's married with a kid. We use that gap as the jumping-off point for the lives we pictured versus the lives we actually built.

In this episode:

• Cass on what nobody tells you: trying to be skinny made her miserable. Trying to be strong made her feel hot.
• "If you want to be someone who does, then do." How buying one shirt led to a triathlon, a solo trip to Europe, and fly fishing in Wyoming.
• Why "have more opinions" is a real New Year's resolution.
• The shift from being palatable for everyone to picking your people.
• Why community asks you to be inconvenienced, and the unsexy truth that no, it doesn't just happen if it's meant for you.
• Making and keeping friends as an adult when nobody's built-in anymore.
• What the listener polls said about what changes most in your 30s (spoiler: 48% of you said the same thing).
• Emma's 30th birthday recap: 90% on the couch, 5% in a hot tub, 100% a little high.
• What we hope we're doing at 40, and what we hope we never do.

For anyone in their late 20s or 30s who suspects all the adults around them are also winging it.

Thank you to Bellesa for sponsoring this week's episode! EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibeTM OR a FREE Rose toy with any WhisperTM order https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/honeydewme-pod

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Motherhood is supposed to come naturally… right? That’s the story so many women are sold, and according to Dr. Sarah Oreck, it’s one of the biggest reasons us mommys are struggling in silence. In this episode, we're unpack the guilt, pressure, identity shifts, and impossible expectations placed on women during pregnancy, postpartum, and motherhood. From “maternal instincts” to breastfeeding shame to the myth of bouncing back, Dr. Sarah is dispelling the myths that hold us back and offering a fresh take on what motherhood actually means.

We Cover:

• The myth of “maternal instinct” and why so many women feel blindsided by motherhood. How unrealistic expectations around motherhood can leave even high-functioning women feeling disconnected, anxious, or like they’re doing it wrong.
• The pressure to be the “perfect mom” from the moment you get pregnant. From food choices to birth plans to feeding decisions, we unpack the constant guilt and policing women experience during pregnancy and postpartum.
• Why “bouncing back” after having a baby is harming women’s mental health. Dr. Sarah explains how identity shifts, hormonal changes, and emotional overwhelm are often treated like personal failures instead of normal human experiences.
• The truth about breastfeeding, formula feeding, and maternal shame. A nuanced conversation about bodily autonomy, sexual trauma, mental health, and why feeding your baby should never come at the expense of the mother’s wellbeing.
• How motherhood can completely change your relationship with your body. From pregnancy to postpartum recovery, we talk about body image, autonomy, touch exhaustion, and feeling disconnected from yourself.
• Why moms desperately need more support, community, and honest conversations. The emotional labor of motherhood is massively underestimated, especially in a culture that expects women to do everything without complaint.
• Permission to make choices that actually work for YOU and your family. Whether it’s C-sections, formula feeding, medication, childcare, or mental health support, this episode is about rejecting shame and building a version of motherhood that feels sustainable and aligned with your values.

Connect with Dr. Sarah by following @sarahoreckmed and @mavidahealth on Instagram.

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠

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Zachary Zane aka “The Boyslut” joins us for one of our most freeing conversations yet. Zach is a sex expert, advice columnist, and author known for his honest, no-BS takes on sexuality, shame, and modern dating. We’re talking about what it actually means to embrace your sexuality without shame, how to define pleasure on your own terms, and why the word “slut” might not mean what you think it does.

We cover:

• Redefining “slut” (and taking your power back). Why being a “slut” has nothing to do with numbers and everything to do with ownership, desire, and self-expression.
• Why shame is the biggest block to good sex. How internalized shame shapes your sex life more than your actual experiences, and how to start unlearning it.
• What it really means to explore your sexuality. Moving beyond performative sex into curiosity, experimentation, and figuring out what actually feels good for you.
• The pressure to be “good” in bed (and why it backfires). How trying to meet expectations kills connection and pleasure, and what to focus on instead.
• Communication that actually makes sex better. Why being honest about your wants, turn-ons, and boundaries is the key to more satisfying sex.
• Letting go of labels and rigid sexual identities. How loosening your grip on labels can create more freedom, flexibility, and fun in your sex life.
• Permission to want what you want. The core of this conversation: you’re allowed to desire, to explore, and to define your sex life on your own terms.

Connect with Zach:

• Buy his book "Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto" HERE!
• Visit his website HERE 

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠

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In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. 

The Question: “Why do I enjoy sex more alone than with my boyfriend?”

What We Cover:

• Why sex feels better alone than with your partner. Breaking down the very real (and very common) experience of enjoying solo sex more and why it doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong with you or your relationship.
• What actually makes the difference: intentional, pressure-free pleasure vs rushed, performative sex. Why solo sex often includes more time, curiosity, and attention to your body while partnered sex can feel goal-oriented, fast, or just plain shitty.
• You know your body, your partner might not. How years of self-exploration give you an advantage and why many partners haven’t developed the same level of sexual awareness or skill.
• Why so much sex doesn’t actually center your pleasure. Unpacking how penetration-focused sex, lack of communication, and porn-influenced expectations can leave you feeling unsatisfied.
• The impact of feeling unseen, unheard, or disappointed in bed. How repeated experiences of being rushed, overlooked, or not fully considered can train your body to prefer solo sex.
• Solo sex is real sex. Reframing masturbation as a valid, fulfilling part of your sex life that doesn’t need to compete with or be replaced by partnered sex.
• How to use what works alone to improve partnered sex. Practical ways to bring your self-knowledge into the bedroom with your partner.

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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Dirty talk can feel… intimidating. What do you say? When do you say it? What if it comes out weird, awkward, or just not you? In this solo episode, we’re breaking down how to talk dirty in a way that actually feels natural, fun, and authentic to YOU. 

We cover:

• Why dirty talk feels so hard for so many people. How shame, pressure, and the idea of needing to “perform” can make it feel intimidating instead of fun.
• What dirty talk actually is (and what it’s not). Why it’s not about saying the “perfect” explicit line, and how it can be playful, romantic, confident, or even a little silly.
• How to start dirty talk without feeling awkward. Simple, low-pressure ways to ease into it.
• Real-life dirty talk examples you can actually use. Easy phrases like saying what you like, sharing fantasies, narrating sensations, and giving compliments that feel natural and doable.
• How to make dirty talk feel authentic to YOU. Why you don’t need to be a different person or “sexier version” of yourself, and how to find what genuinely turns you on.
• Confidence hacks to get out of your head during sex. Using humor, trying on a persona if it helps, and focusing on fun instead of performance.
• What to do when dirty talk goes wrong (because it will). How to laugh it off, recover in the moment, communicate after, and keep the experience light instead of shutting down.
• A simple dirty talk framework to fall back on. Using sensations, actions, and emotions as an easy formula when you don’t know what to say.
• Why dirty talk is a learned skill (not something you’re born good at). How practice, repetition, and lowering the stakes can completely change your confidence over time. 

Dirty Talk Cheat Sheet FREEBIE!

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Tara, tenured professor, award-winning researcher, and author of the new book "How Do You Like It: A Guide For Getting What You Want (In Bed)," to talk about what it actually takes to have a satisfying, connected sex life. From communication to confidence to understanding what it is you like, this conversation breaks down the practical skills behind better sex.

We Cover:

• Why great sex is a learned skill, not something you’re just “good at.” Breaking down the myth that sex should come naturally and why education, practice, and communication matter.
• How to figure out what you actually want in bed. Simple ways to explore your desires, preferences, and turn-ons without shame or pressure.
• The biggest communication mistakes couples make about sex. Why avoiding conversations leads to disconnection and how to start talking about sex in a way that feels safe and productive.
• How to ask for what you want without feeling awkward or rejected. Practical tools for expressing needs, giving feedback, and building confidence when communicating about sex.
• Why desire can feel confusing or inconsistent in relationships. Understanding different desire styles and why your sex drive might not work the way you think it should.
• How to create more satisfying and connected sex in long-term relationships. Small shifts that can make a big difference in intimacy, pleasure, and emotional connection.
• What’s getting in the way of your sex life (and how to start shifting it). Common blockers like stress, shame, and unrealistic expectations, and how to work through them in real life.

Connect with Dr. Tara by buying her book "How Do You Like It" HERE, following her on Instagram HERE, or going to her website HERE!

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠

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In this episode, we’re sitting down with Dr. Jennifer Lincoln, OB-GYN and OB hospitalist, to talk about birth in the only way we know how... with a whole lot of honesty and oversharing. So many people go into labor thinking they know what to expect… and then everything feels confusing, fast, or completely different than what they had planned. We talk about what’s actually normal, how decisions get made in the moment, and how to stay informed without feeling overwhelmed by it all.

We Cover:

• What “normal labor” actually looks like (and why it’s more flexible than you think). Breaking down the stages of labor, timelines, and variations so you understand what’s typical, what’s not, and why there’s a wide range of normal when it comes to childbirth.
• How to advocate for yourself during labor and delivery in a medical system that can feel overwhelming. What informed consent really means, how to ask questions, and how to feel more in control of your birth experience even in high-pressure or emergency situations.
• The biggest myths about birth and pregnancy on social media (and what’s actually evidence-based). Separating fear-based narratives and misinformation from real medical guidance so you can make decisions rooted in facts, not that random TikTok you saw while doom scrolling.
• Your options during labor: inductions, C-sections, epidurals, and everything in between. A clear, judgment-free breakdown of common interventions, what they involve, and how to decide what’s right for you and your body.
• What happens when things don’t go according to plan (and how to navigate unexpected outcomes). Understanding complications, emergency scenarios, and how to mentally and emotionally prepare for the unpredictable nature of birth.
• How to approach decision-making when labor isn’t progressing as expected. Exploring how providers assess labor in real time, what “not progressing” actually means, and how to stay informed instead of rushed or pressured.
• Why so many people still feel unprepared for birth (even after doing all the research). How overwhelming information, lack of clear guidance, and mixed messaging can still leave you feeling unsure going into labor.

Connect with Dr. Lincoln by buying "The Birth Book" and following her in Instagram.

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠

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In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. 

The Question: “All my friends talk about how amazing their sex lives are, and meanwhile my partner and I are struggling. It’s starting to make me feel like something is wrong with me or our relationship. We’ve been together a couple years… is it normal to have this many issues or is this a red flag?”

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Why it feels like everyone else is having better sex than you. The truth about comparison, what people don’t share about their sex lives, and how this impacts your confidence.
• What are actual red flags in a sex life vs normal relationship struggles. How to tell the difference between fixable intimacy issues and deeper problems like lack of care, effort, or emotional connection.
• Why your sex life might not feel good (and it’s not your fault). How poor sex education, lack of communication, and not knowing your own desires can create a disconnect in the bedroom.
• How to figure out what you like sexually. Practical ways to explore desire, including solo play, Want/Will/Won’t lists, and expanding your understanding of pleasure.
• How to communicate about sex without making it awkward. Simple ways to talk about turn-ons, turn-offs, and different desire styles like responsive vs spontaneous desire.
• How to improve your sex life and feel more connected to your partner. Taking pressure off, redefining what sex means beyond penetration, and creating a version of intimacy that actually works for you.

FREE "Want, Will, Won't List" here!

Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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Pelvic floor health is one of the most overlooked parts of our bodies, and for many people with vulvas, it’s the missing link to better pleasure, stronger orgasms, and feeling more connected to their body.

This week, we’re joined by Jana Danielson, founder of Bloom Better, a longtime Pilates instructor, pelvic floor educator, and creator of the Cooch Ball, a pelvic floor fitness tool designed to help people reconnect with their bodies.

Jana shares her personal journey from years of chronic pain and medical dismissal to becoming a leader in pelvic floor education. We talk about why pelvic floor health matters for everything from core strength to sexual pleasure, how shame has kept many of us disconnected from this part of our body, and the small things you can start doing today to support pelvic floor health.

We cover:

• Jana’s journey from chronic pain to pelvic floor advocacy. How years of unexplained pain, medication, and medical dismissal led Jana to explore movement, Pilates, and the pelvic floor as a path toward healing.
• Why the pelvic floor is so misunderstood. How shame, lack of education, and gaps in traditional health care have left many people disconnected from this important part of their anatomy.
• The role the pelvic floor plays in pleasure and sexual function. Why pelvic floor health impacts arousal, orgasm, and sensation more than most people realize.
• How movement and breath affect pelvic floor health. The connection between the nervous system, breath, posture, and pelvic floor engagement.
• Common pelvic floor issues many people experience. From tension and pain to weakness and lack of awareness, and why these challenges are more common than most people think.
• How Pilates and body awareness can improve pelvic floor function. Why strengthening, relaxing, and reconnecting with the pelvic floor can transform both physical comfort and sexual wellbeing.
• The inspiration behind the Cooch Ball. How Jana created the first pelvic floor fitness tool designed specifically to help people release tension and reconnect with their pelvic floor.
• Why pelvic floor care matters at every stage of life. From postpartum recovery to aging and menopause, and why this part of the body deserves attention long before problems show up.

CLICK HERE to get your own Cooch Ball! 

Connect with Jana on Instagram or TikTok.

⁠Interested in 1:1 coaching with Cass & Em? Book a FREE strategy sesh HERE!⁠⁠

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Vulvas and vaginas aren't complicated or mysterious, we've just never been properly taught how to pleasure them. Until now. In this episode, we’re joined by Susan Bratton, intimacy expert to millions, educator, and longtime advocate for pleasure-forward sex education. Together we break down the anatomy of female arousal, the full erectile tissue system in the vulva, and why so many people misunderstand what our bodies actually need to experience deep pleasure.

We talk about why arousal takes time, how the body physically changes during sexual stimulation, and why expanding our understanding of pleasure anatomy can completely transform the sexual experience for both partners.

If you’ve ever wondered why foreplay matters so much, why stimulation can feel different depending on arousal levels, or how to create more pleasure in partnered sex, this conversation is for you Honey Bun.

We Cover:

• The vulva’s erectile tissue system. Why arousal involves far more anatomy than just the clitoris and how engorgement changes sensation.
• How arousal physically changes the body. What actually happens to the vulva and vaginal tissues during sexual stimulation and why time and blood flow matter.
• Why many people with vulvas struggle to feel enough stimulation during sex. How misunderstandings about pleasure anatomy can lead to rushed arousal and less pleasurable experiences.
• The role of engorgement in pleasure. Why the body needs time and stimulation for tissues to swell and become more sensitive.
• How to build stronger arousal before penetration. Why extended stimulation and touch can dramatically change sensation and comfort.
• Understanding different pleasure pathways. How different types of stimulation activate different parts of the vulva and internal erectile tissue system.
• Why sex education often gets vulva anatomy wrong. The cultural and educational gaps that leave many people confused about how pleasure actually works in these bodies.
• How partners can support deeper pleasure. Simple mindset shifts that help couples slow down and explore arousal more intentionally.

Resources:

• drivedesire.com 
• expandherorgasmtonight.com
• 1:1 coaching with Cass & Em. Book a FREE strategy sesh HERE!⁠⁠

About Susan Bratton:

Susan Bratton is a globally recognized intimacy expert, educator, and advocate for pleasure-positive sexuality. She has spent decades teaching people how to expand their understanding of arousal, connection, and pleasure in long-term relationships.

Susan is known for translating complex sexual health concepts into practical, approachable tools that help couples experience more intimacy, communication, and satisfaction in their sex lives.

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Most of us spend our entire lives being someone’s daughter, but we rarely talk about what that role actually asks of us. In this episode, we’re joined by Dr. Allison Alford, a professor of communication at Baylor University and a leading researcher on “daughtering,” to unpack the expectations, emotional labor, and pressure many women carry in their families and how those dynamics can quietly shape our relationships, boundaries, and even our sex lives.

• What “daughtering” actually means. Why the role of daughter is rarely talked about but deeply shapes our identities, responsibilities, and expectations in families.
• The invisible labor daughters often carry. How emotional support, family coordination, and relational maintenance quietly fall on daughters.
• Why being a “good daughter” becomes tied to self-worth. How many women internalize the idea that being available, supportive, and reliable is what makes them worthy.
• The pressure of family expectations. Why daughters often feel responsible for maintaining harmony, showing up for everyone, and never dropping the ball.
• The shift from “perfect daughter” to “good enough daughter.” A simple reframe that helps reduce the pressure and unrealistic standards so many of us carry.
• How daughterhood affects romantic relationships. Why carrying too much emotional labor in family dynamics can leave women feeling mentally tapped out and impact desire and intimacy.
• Why partnership and delegation matter. How allowing siblings or partners to share emotional responsibilities can relieve pressure and strengthen relationships.
• Setting boundaries with family members. Practical ways to decide what you are and are not willing to discuss and how to communicate those boundaries clearly.
• Preparing for difficult family conversations. Why going into family interactions with a plan can help prevent frustration and resentment.
• How to start reshaping your role as a daughter. Small mindset shifts that help relieve some pressure while still maintaining connection with family.

Connect with Dr. Allison Alford
Learn more about Dr. Alford’s research on daughterhood and family communication on her website or by listening her podcast Hello Mother, Hello Daughter, where she explores the mother-daughter relationship through both academic insight and lived experience. You can also purchase a copy of her book "Good Daughtering" HERE!

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In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. 

The Question: "Is there a way for someone with responsive desire to initiate sex? Do you have any recommendations?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Can you initiate with responsive desire? Yes. Initiation does not have to mean you are ready for sex right away. This episode explores how people with responsive desire can start connection in ways that feel safe, honest, and pressure-free.

• What responsive desire actually means. Why some people need emotional or mental build-up before physical arousal, and how explaining your “longer runway” can change the way your partner understands intimacy.

• The fear of being a tease or changing your mind. A real conversation about hesitation around initiating, including the pressure to follow through and how to reframe initiation as starting foreplay, not promising sex.

• How to talk about initiation with your partner. Scripts and examples for getting on the same page about timelines, expectations, and what initiating looks like when you need more build-up before intimacy.

• Creative ways to initiate without pressure. From morning cuddles and daytime flirting to teasing PDA and slow-burn make-outs, we share playful techniques that help build anticipation while honoring responsive desire.

• You are not too much for needing more. A reminder that responsive desire is valid, that foreplay and communication create better sex for everyone, and that your needs matter whether you are dating, single, or in a long-term relationship.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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In this week’s Honey Archive episode we’re answering one of YOUR questions with a mix of expert insight, personal experience, and a very real conversation about what to do when the sex in your relationship just isn’t clicking. If you’ve ever loved someone but felt disconnected in the bedroom, this one’s for you.

The Question:
“I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while now, and the sex… it’s just not great. It’s not that we don’t like each other, but it just feels off. I want to be honest, I just don’t know how to approach it, so please HELP!”

We cover:

• Questions to ask yourself first. How to figure out whether the issue is chemistry, communication, expectations, or simply not knowing what you actually want yet.

• Expert tips for talking about sex with a partner. Ways to start the conversation without triggering shame, defensiveness, or pressure so it feels collaborative instead of critical.

• How to give honest feedback without being harsh. Why tone, timing, and framing matter and how to express your needs in a way that builds connection instead of distance.

• What giving feedback in the moment can look like. Small language shifts that help guide your partner without turning sex into a performance review.

• Why being “bad at sex” is more normal than you think. How most people never receive real sex education and why awkwardness is part of learning, not a sign of incompatibility.

• The difference between skill issues and deeper mismatches. How to tell when something can grow with communication versus when values, desire, or attraction might not align.

• Permission to outgrow sexual dynamics that don’t feel good. Why it is okay to want more pleasure, more effort, or a different kind of connection.

• When it might be time to leave. A grounded conversation about recognizing when the sexual disconnect reflects a bigger relationship issue and giving yourself permission to choose what feels right for you.

⁠⁠⁠⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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For a lot of us, having kids absolutely wrecks our sex lives… at least for a while. And no one really prepares you for that. In this episode, we’re joined by Rebecca Howard Eudy, PhD, LMHC, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and couples therapist, to talk about what actually happens to desire, intimacy, and connection after kids (or even just in long term relationships). We dig into exhaustion, resentment, pressure, and why so many couples assume something is wrong with them, when really they’re just navigating a huge shift. This conversation is about understanding what’s happening and figuring out how to rebuild intimacy in a way that actually works for the season you’re in.

We cover:

• How pressure kills intimacy. What happens when sex becomes another expectation instead of a point of connection.
• Why resentment shows up in the bedroom. How unequal labor, emotional disconnect, and unspoken needs quietly erode desire.
• How to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy. Practical ways to reconnect that do not rely on forcing desire or “trying harder.”
• Why sex changes so much after kids. Rebecca explains how exhaustion, mental load, and identity shifts directly impact desire and arousal.
• The difference between low desire and low capacity. Why many parents still want sex but feel too depleted to access it.
• Understanding desire differences after parenthood. Why mismatched desire is common and not a sign something is wrong with your relationship.
• Why scheduling intimacy can actually help. How planning connection creates safety and reduces pressure instead of killing spontaneity.
• The importance of redefining sex after kids. Moving beyond penetration-focused sex and expanding what intimacy can look like now.
• How to talk about sex without blame or defensiveness. Language shifts that help couples feel like teammates again.

Connect with Rebecca:

• BUY HER BOOK HERE!
• Visit her website HERE!
• Follow her on Instagram HERE!
• Listen to her podcast HERE!

⁠⁠⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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What if your sex life could tell you something important about your health? In this episode, we’re joined by Dr. Elliot Justin, an ER doctor of 25 years who pivoted into sexual health innovation to change the way we talk about bodies, pleasure, and well-being. We explore how erections, cardiovascular health, data-driven tools, and honest conversations can give us earlier insight into what’s happening in the body and why sexual health should never be treated as separate from overall health.

We cover:

• Why sexual health is a health issue, not a vanity issue. Dr. Justin explains why pleasure, performance, and function are often early indicators of deeper health patterns.
• What erections can reveal about cardiovascular health. How nighttime erections are connected to blood flow and heart health long before other symptoms appear.
• Why men’s sexual health is often ignored until there’s a crisis. How stigma and silence delay diagnosis and meaningful conversations.
• The science behind nocturnal erections. What’s normal, what’s not, and why the body’s nighttime patterns matter.
• How data can change the way couples talk about sex. Why shared, objective information can reduce shame, blame, and guesswork in the bedroom.
• The role of technology in modern sexual wellness. How tools like FirmTech are bringing measurable insights into intimacy and performance.
• Why early awareness matters more than quick fixes. How prevention and understanding beat waiting for symptoms or relying on temporary solutions.

Use code "DEWME" for a discount at FirmTech!

⁠⁠⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. 

The Question: "I’m 22 and in my first long-term relationship with a partner I truly love. Everything is healthy and supportive, but I’ve noticed I’ve started deferring to his routines and preferences instead of my own. I miss parts of myself, like how I used to spend my free time and make plans just for me. How do I stay true to myself while still making room for my relationship?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Losing yourself in a relationship. Why this is common in early long-term relationships and how it can happen even when the partnership is healthy and loving.

• Staying true to yourself while partnered. Why maintaining your own identity, routines, and desires takes intention in a committed relationship.

• People-pleasing and resentment. How deferring to a partner’s needs and preferences can slowly lead to disconnection and frustration.

• Identifying what you’ve stopped prioritizing. How to recognize the hobbies, values, and personal time that have taken a backseat.

• Solo needs vs relationship needs. Understanding the difference between individual fulfillment and shared intimacy in a long-term relationship.

• How to communicate your needs. Practical language for talking to your partner about independence, boundaries, and personal time without blame.

• Following through with boundaries. Why awareness isn’t enough and how to actually implement change in your daily life.

• Rebuilding a relationship with yourself. Why solo time, self-dates, and personal routines support emotional health and relationship satisfaction.

• Why this improves intimacy. How staying connected to yourself strengthens attraction, communication, and long-term relationship success.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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Most of us were never actually taught how to understand our own sexuality. In this episode, we’re joined by Tash Doherty, author and sexuality advocate behind Misseducated, to talk about what it really means to become shamelessly sexy. We get into unlearning bad sex education, reconnecting with desire, and why curiosity, reflection, and self-knowledge are foundational to confidence and pleasure.

We Cover:

• Why most of us are still “miseducated” about sex. Tash breaks down the gaps in traditional sex education and how they shape shame, confusion, and silence.
• How shame disconnects us from desire. Why feeling awkward, guilty, or “behind” is incredibly common and not a personal failure.
• What it actually means to be shamelessly sexy. Moving beyond performative confidence and into self-trust, curiosity, and ownership.
• The role of self-reflection in sexual confidence. Why understanding your own patterns, turn-ons, and boundaries changes everything.
• How journaling can transform your relationship with sex. Tash shares how intentional reflection helps women access desire, clarity, and agency.
• Why desire changes and how to work with it. Normalizing libido shifts and learning to stay connected to pleasure across life stages.
• How to build a healthier relationship with your body. Tools for getting out of comparison and back into embodied experience.
• Creating space for pleasure without pressure. Why slowing down and listening to yourself is more effective than “trying harder.”
• What women actually need more of in sex education. And why access to better tools leads to better relationships, communication, and confidence.

Connect With Tash:

Misseducated

The Intimacy Journal 

These Perfectly Careless Things

Website

Connect with Us:

⁠⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE!

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If sex in your long-term relationship feels expected, routine, or disconnected, you’re not alone. In Part 2 of our 50 best sex tips for 2026 series, we talk about desire, pressure, and how to build a more satisfying sex life that actually feels good.

This episode is about when sex starts to feel like something you’re doing because you’re supposed to. Going through the motions. Having sex because it feels expected. Checking boxes. Trying to be a good partner. Forcing yourself to want it. And still wondering why it doesn’t feel good.

We cover:

• Doing what you think you’re supposed to do. Why “good partner” sex often disconnects you from what you actually want and feel.
• Going through the motions. How routine, obligation, and autopilot sex quietly drains desire.
• Having sex because it feels expected. Why expectation creates pressure and shuts desire down.
• Checking boxes instead of tuning in. How tracking frequency, effort, or outcomes pulls you out of connection.
• Forcing yourself to want it. Why trying to manufacture desire backfires.
• Trying to be a good partner. How people-pleasing and self-abandonment show up in sex.
• Wondering why it still doesn’t feel good. Why “fine” sex can still feel empty and what actually changes that.

Get your FREE Want, Will, Won't list in our Linktree HERE!

Connect with Us:

⁠Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.⁠

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We’re kicking off the year with a two-part solo series where we share 50 of the best sex tips to help you build a more satisfying, confident, and connected sex life in 2026. This episode is about the foundations of intimacy. The things that actually change how sex feels over time. Desire. Confidence. Communication. Pleasure. And letting go of the belief that something is wrong with you.

In Part 1, we dive into the deeper reframes that make great sex possible in real, long-term relationships. Especially when bodies change, desire shifts, and life gets full. If you’ve ever felt broken, behind, or like you’re doing sex “wrong,” this episode is for you.

We cover:

• You’re not doing it wrong. Why most people are measuring their sex lives against unrealistic standards and how that comparison quietly kills desire.
• You’re not broken. How shame becomes the biggest blocker to pleasure and what actually helps rebuild confidence over time.
• Responsive desire is normal. Why many people need time, safety, and context to get in the mood and why taking your damn time matters.
• You will never crave sex you don’t enjoy. How pushing through unenjoyable sex trains avoidance and what supports genuine desire instead.
• Redefining what sex means. Why orgasm and penetration cannot be the only goals and how expanding your definition creates more connection and satisfaction.
• Going back to the basics. Why simple, playful touch like dry humping, fingering, and hand jobs are lost arts that often work better than what we deem "full sex."
• Creating safety, fun, and structure. How scheduling intimacy, setting containers, using games, and talking about turn-ons builds trust, playfulness, and long-term connection.

Connect with Us:

Looking to apply these tips to your REAL life? Schedule a FREE 1:1 strategy session with Cass & Em to see if coaching can support you.

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To close out the year, we’re dipping into the Honey Archive and revisiting a fan-favorite episode. We went to a sex club as total first-timers and came back with an honest, behind-the-scenes breakdown of what it’s actually like, what surprised us, and what we wish we’d known before walking in.

If you’ve ever been curious, nervous, or just plain intrigued, this episode is your first step.

We cover:

• What it’s really like getting into a sex club for the first time, from check-in to the full tour

• The rules, boundaries, and consent culture (and why they made us feel safer than expected)

• How the club is set up and how different spaces are used

• What we saw, what we participated in, and what we chose not to do

• Our biggest takeaways and practical tips for other sex club first-timers

Whether you’re seriously considering going or just want the inside scoop, this episode answers the questions everyone has but rarely asks.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠

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Sex worker rights aren’t a niche issue. They’re a human rights issue. In this episode, we’re joined by Kaytlin Bailey, stand-up comic, sex worker rights advocate, and expert on sex worker policy and history, to unpack why moral panics around sex work harm far more than just sex workers. We talk about power, policy, women’s autonomy, and why everyone, especially women who care about freedom, bodily autonomy, and choice, should be paying attention.

We cover:

• Why sex worker rights affect everyone. How laws and stigma aimed at sex workers quietly erode rights for all women.
• What moral panics actually do. Why fear-based narratives around sex are so effective and so dangerous.
• The historical roots of sex work criminalization. How policy has long been used to control women’s bodies, labor, and sexuality.
• Why “good girl vs bad girl” thinking still shapes policy. And how that mindset limits freedom far beyond sex work.
• The difference between protection and control. Why many laws framed as “safety” measures actually increase harm.
• How storytelling changes public opinion. Why human stories are one of the most powerful tools for policy change.
• What sex worker rights teach us about bodily autonomy. Consent, agency, and who gets to decide what women do with their bodies.
• Why this conversation matters now. How current cultural and political shifts are putting foundational freedoms at risk.
• How to learn more and get involved. Ways to support sex worker rights through education, advocacy, and listening.

Kaytlin Bailey is the Founder & Executive Director at Old Pros, a nonprofit that uses storytelling to advocate for sex worker rights. She hosts The Oldest Profession Podcast and is touring the live show The Oldest Profession. Follow @oldprosonline — Email Newsletter | Instagram | X

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠

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Painful sex is common, but it’s not normal and it’s definitely not something you just have to live with. In this episode, we’re joined by Kristen Damery, a pelvic health physical therapist and the founder of Lava lube, to break down what’s actually happening in the body when sex hurts. We talk about muscles, nerves, lubrication, stress, and why so many people are dismissed or misunderstood when they bring this up to doctors.

We Cover:

• Why painful sex is so often misunderstood. Kristen explains why pain during sex is frequently minimized, misdiagnosed, or written off as “normal.”
• What’s actually happening in the pelvic floor. How tension, weakness, and coordination issues can all contribute to pain.
• The role of the nervous system in sexual pain. Why stress, anxiety, and anticipation can cause the body to brace before penetration even happens.
• Different types of pain and what they can mean. Burning, stabbing, pressure, dryness, or deep pain and why the type of pain matters.
• Why lubrication alone isn’t always the solution. How dryness, friction, tissue health, and muscle response all interact.
• How pelvic PT helps retrain the body. What pelvic health physical therapy actually looks like and how it supports healing, comfort, and confidence.
• Why pain during sex is not a personal failure. How shame and self-blame make symptoms worse and why pain is a body signal, not a flaw.
• When to seek support and what to ask for. How to advocate for yourself and find providers who actually understand pelvic pain.
• Tools to support comfort and pleasure. Kristen shares practical tips for reducing pain, improving lubrication, and making sex feel safer and more enjoyable.

Get Lava for 25% off with code DEWME!

Follow Lave on Instagram!

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In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. 

The Question: "I'm a 35yo woman who’s been married to a really good guy for the last seven years. He never pressures me or anything, but every time I don’t want sex, I instantly feel like i’m being a shitty wife. I know that’s some leftover ‘good girl / keep your man happy’ garbage, but the guilt is still really loud. How do I stop feeling like I’m failing him every time I’m not horny?"

What We Cover in This Episode:

• Why you never owe anyone sex. Why consent and desire are required every single time, even in a loving and committed marriage.
• Where the guilt comes from. How “good girl conditioning” teaches us to prioritize a partner’s pleasure over our own boundaries.
• Obligation sex vs wanted sex. Why a supportive partner should only want intimacy you are genuinely excited about, not sex given out of pressure.
• How guilt impacts pleasure and connection. How anxiety, obligation, and performance mindset shut down arousal and make sex feel high stakes.
• What happens when you keep overriding your no’s. Why ignoring your boundaries leads to resentment, disconnect, and a shrinking desire for sex.
• Rewriting what it means to be a good partner. Why your value is not based on a penis ejaculating, and how honoring your needs strengthens intimacy.
• How to support your own desire and autonomy. Tools and mindset shifts to release pressure, protect your no’s, and show up with real desire when it is there.

⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠

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Traditional Chinese medicine looks at your sex life very differently than Western medicine and honestly, it’s VERY refreshing. In this episode, we’re joined by Jaiming Ju, a 2nd-generation Chinese medicine practitioner and founder of Kun Health, to talk about how TCM understands libido, pain during sex, ED, arousal, and overall sexual wellbeing. We get into body patterns, energy balance, lifestyle habits, and what your symptoms are actually trying to tell you.

We cover:

• How Chinese medicine understands sex and pleasure. Jaiming explains why sexual health is seen as a major indicator of overall wellbeing, not an isolated issue.
• Why pain during sex is never “just in your head”. How TCM views dryness, pelvic pain, tension, and discomfort and why it’s almost always linked to imbalance, depletion, or circulation issues.
• Understanding libido changes. How arousal, desire, and lubrication map to warmth, energy, and hormonal patterns + how aging, stress, lifestyle, and depletion impact the body.
• ED from a TCM perspective. Why erections are about circulation, warmth, and “yang energy,” and what it means when interest and performance don’t match.
• Tongue diagnosis and what it reveals about your sex life. Yes, your tongue really can show dryness, heat, coldness, stress patterns, or issues affecting libido.
• Why stress and exhaustion shut down desire. How nervous system overload, burnout, and irregular routines drain the body’s resources and impact arousal.
• Practical pleasure support from a Chinese medicine lens. Food, warmth, routines, habits, and small changes that help your body feel safer, softer, and more responsive during sex.
• How to support long-term sexual health at every age. Daily practices Jaiming recommends to maintain circulation, lubrication, desire, and overall balance.

Connect with Jaiming HERE!

Follow her on Instagram HERE!

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In this week’s solo episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on our mental health journeys and talking about the parts we’ve never shared publicly. Cass opens up about what postpartum OCD and anxiety really looked like behind the scenes and Emma shares how her lifelong anxiety shaped the patterns she still works through today. From intrusive thoughts and panic spirals to the shame, the turning points, and the actual support that helped us get better, we’re breaking down what healing looked like in real time. It’s messy, honest, sometimes dark, and ultimately a conversation we wish we'd heard when we were in it. 

If mental health has ever knocked you on your ass (especially in early motherhood) this one is for you.

We dive into:

• What postpartum OCD and anxiety looked like behind the scenes. Cass opens up about the intrusive thoughts, fear spirals, and emotional numbness that made early motherhood feel nothing like the highlight reel she expected.
• Emma’s long-term anxiety and the patterns that came with it. Panic cycles, overwhelm, and the instinct to shut down instead of sit with big feelings.
• Why both of us struggled to admit something was off. The pressure to look fine, the fear of being judged, and the mental gymnastics we used to convince ourselves we could handle it alone.
  
• The turning points that pushed us to get help. The honest conversations, therapy breakthroughs, and moments that forced us to stop pretending.
• The support and tools that actually helped us feel better. OCD treatment programs, medication, grounding routines, and small daily habits that made life feel manageable again.
• How healing shifted our identities and relationships. Rebuilding confidence, reconnecting with our bodies, and experiencing love and connection in ways that weren’t accessible in survival mode.

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Most of us don’t realize we’re in a toxic pattern until we’re deep in it — choosing the same partners, having the same fights, or falling into the same role over and over again. In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Joy Berkheimer, psychotherapist and relationship expert, to talk about why these patterns feel so familiar, why they’re so hard to break, and how to finally choose something healthier. If you’ve ever wondered “why does this keep f*cking happening?” this conversation will hit home.

We cover:

• Why toxic patterns feel familiar and why that’s the problem. Joy breaks down why your brain and body are drawn to what they already know, even when it’s not good for you.
• How to actually recognize a pattern while you’re in it. The subtle signs and behaviors that show you’re repeating an old story.
• Why your nervous system keeps you stuck. How fear, comfort, and old survival responses pull you back into the same dynamics.
• What breaking a toxic pattern really takes. The realistic, day-to-day shifts that help you choose differently, even when it’s uncomfortable.
• How to tell if your intuition is speaking… or if it’s anxiety. Joy explains the difference so you can stop second-guessing yourself.
• What “not abandoning yourself” looks like in real relationships. How to stop minimizing your needs or shrinking to keep the peace.
• Why change feels scary, lonely, and messy. And why that discomfort is actually a sign you’re doing the work.
• How to reconnect with the version of you who knows they deserve better. Joy shares tools for rebuilding self-worth and choosing healthier connections.

Connect with Dr. Joy:

• On her website HERE!
• On Instagram HERE!

⁠Learn more about Honeydew Me 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠

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