Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Holding Space with Julia

Episode 30 – Flipping Your Lid: What to Do Next

In this episode of Holding Space with Julia, we explore what really happens after we "flip our lid"—and how moments of rupture can become powerful opportunities for repair.

Building on Dr. Dan Siegel's Hand Model of the Brain and the concept of the window of tolerance, this episode gently unpacks why overwhelm happens, how the nervous system moves into fight, flight, or shutdown, and what helps bring us back to safety and connection.

Through real-life stories and practical examples from parenting, partnerships, classrooms, and the playroom, this episode offers simple, compassionate steps for noticing dysregulation, pausing with intention, and repairing with honesty and care.

This is an episode for anyone who wants to respond rather than react—and to remember that flipping your lid isn't a failure, but a doorway back to connection.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 29 – The Hand Model of the Brain: Understanding Big Feelings Without Shame

In this episode of Holding Space with Julia, we explore Dr. Dan Siegel's Hand Model of the Brain—a simple, powerful tool that helps children and adults understand what happens when big feelings take over.

Using real-life examples from homes, classrooms, relationships, and the playroom, this episode unpacks what it means to "flip our lid," why it happens, and how shared language can transform moments of rupture into opportunities for repair.

This is an episode about co-regulation, compassion, and removing shame from emotional overwhelm. You'll learn how to use the Hand Model to:
• Understand behaviour as nervous system communication
• Respond to big feelings without escalating or shutting down
• Build emotional safety with children, teens, partners, and students
• Support repair through presence rather than control

Whether you're a parent, educator, therapist, or someone learning to be gentler with yourself, this episode offers a practical, body-based way to meet overwhelm with understanding—and guide the nervous system back toward connection.

https://www.clarity.family/

In this episode of Holding Space: Going Deeper with Julia, I share the story of how I came to understand safety—not as a technique or a strategy, but as a lived, relational experience built moment by moment.

Drawing from over 25 years of work with children, families, and therapists—beginning in long-term residential care and evolving through play therapy, group work, and training—I reflect on what it truly means to create conditions where nervous systems can soften and healing can unfold without words.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, to understand behaviour as communication, and to explore how presence, repair, and compassion create safety in our homes, our practices, and within ourselves.

If you've ever felt the weight of trying to "do it right," this is a gentle reminder that safety begins not with fixing—but with being.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 27: From Behaviour to Connection: A Nervous System Lens

In this integrative and deeply grounding episode, Julia weaves together the themes from Episodes 19–26—behaviour as communication, adult regulation as anchor, compassion over perfection, and repair as the heart of relationship. She revisits the nervous system lens that runs beneath every parenting moment, helping us understand that what feels like chaos or defiance is often a call for safety and connection.

Julia also introduces the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), a gentle, evidence-based listening program rooted in Dr. Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory. Through her personal reflections and stories from families she's supported, Julia shares how SSP strengthens the vagus nerve, deepens emotional regulation, and transforms family dynamics from reactive to relational.

✨ This episode is both a reflection and an invitation—to pause, attune, and explore the practices that help you return to presence. Because lasting change doesn't begin with behaviour—it begins with safety, connection, and the nervous system.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 26: Recovering After a Rupture

In this heartfelt and restorative episode, Julia explores what happens after the moments we wish we could take back—the ruptures. Whether it's with a child, partner, or student, she reminds us that disconnection is inevitable, but repair is where trust and growth truly begin.

Through the lens of nervous system awareness and attachment, Julia breaks down how rupture happens, why our bodies go into fight, flight, or freeze, and what it means to return to safety afterward. With practical, compassionate examples for toddlers, teens, partners, and classrooms, she shows how small, sincere gestures of repair rebuild connection more powerfully than perfection ever could.

✨ This episode is a gentle reminder that healing happens in the return. Rupture doesn't define you—repair does.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 25: "I'm Not My Parent… But Sometimes I Still Lose It"

In this tender and deeply validating episode, Julia speaks to the parents who vowed to do things differently—and still find themselves slipping into old patterns. She explores how those moments of yelling, shutting down, or reacting aren't failures, but reflections of long-held nervous system wiring shaped by our own childhood experiences.

Through the lens of Polyvagal Theory and gentle self-compassion, Julia shows how awareness doesn't erase old patterns overnight—it rewires them slowly, through presence and repair. With examples from parenting, partnerships, and classrooms, she illustrates how to pause, breathe, and choose compassion over shame.

✨ This episode reminds us that breaking intergenerational cycles isn't about perfection—it's about noticing, repairing, and meeting ourselves with the same grace we long to give our children. You're not your parent. You're healing forward.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 24: "Good Parents Never Yell"… and Other Myths

In this honest and freeing conversation, Julia dismantles one of parenting's most persistent myths: that good parents never yell. With warmth and compassion, she explains how yelling isn't a moral failure—it's a nervous system in overwhelm. Through the lens of Polyvagal Theory, she explores how stress, sensory load, and old emotional patterns can activate fight, flight, or shutdown responses—and how repair, not perfection, is what builds connection.

Using real-life parenting, classroom, and partner examples, Julia guides listeners toward self-compassion and repair practices that heal both parent and child. You'll learn to notice what's happening in your body, understand what your nervous system is asking for, and return to calm without shame.

✨ This episode reminds us that good parenting isn't about never losing our cool—it's about how we reconnect afterward. Yelling doesn't mean you've failed; it means you're human—and you can always come back to safety.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 23: Practices to Calm a Dysregulated Home or Classroom

In this grounding and practical episode, Julia offers compassionate, real-world tools to bring calm to the chaos—whether it's the after-school whirlwind, a buzzing classroom, or a home that feels emotionally charged. She reminds us that true regulation doesn't come from control—it begins with connection.

Through simple, body-based practices and gentle nervous system resets, Julia shows how our own calm becomes the anchor for others. She explores how co-regulation, tone, and presence can shift a space from reactivity to safety, and how even small pauses can change everything.

✨ This episode is a soothing invitation to lead with steadiness, to bring peace to the room by settling your own nervous system first—and to remember that calm isn't quiet; it's connection made visible.

Episode 22: What to Do When You Feel Like You're Failing as a Parent

In this compassionate episode, Julia speaks directly to the tender moments every parent knows—the ones where guilt, exhaustion, or overwhelm whisper, "I'm failing." She reframes these moments through the lens of the nervous system, showing how what feels like failure is often a sign of flooding, fatigue, and deep care—not deficiency.

Through real-life examples from home, partnership, and the classroom, Julia explores how repair—not perfection—is what builds trust and connection. She reminds us that when we pause, breathe, and offer ourselves compassion, we model exactly what our children need most: the courage to be human and the safety to return to connection.

✨ This episode is an invitation to soften the shame stories, hold space for your own nervous system, and remember—you're not failing. You're healing.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 21: When Our Kids' Feelings Trigger Our Own

In this deeply resonant episode, Julia explores what happens when our children's big emotions awaken the unhealed parts of us. Whether it's a toddler's meltdown, a teen's eye roll, or a partner's sharp tone, our bodies often react not just to the moment—but to echoes of our own childhood experiences.

Through gentle reflection and real-life examples from homes and classrooms, Julia helps us understand how these triggers arise and how to meet them with awareness rather than shame. She offers language, grounding practices, and compassionate pauses that help us stay steady—modeling for our children what emotional safety truly looks like.

✨ This episode is an invitation to notice, soothe, and reparent the younger parts of ourselves—so we can hold space for the big feelings of others without losing connection to our own calm and clarity.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 20: Kids' Behaviour is Communication, Not Manipulation

In this heartfelt episode, Julia invites us to shift the way we see children's behaviour—from something to manage or control, to something to understand. What looks like defiance, disrespect, or manipulation is often a nervous system asking for safety, connection, and co-regulation.

Through gentle reflection and real-life examples, Julia helps listeners decode what's really happening beneath meltdowns, morning chaos, and after-school shutdowns. She offers grounding practices and simple language shifts that bring calm to the moment while teaching emotional safety for the long term.

This episode reminds us that when we pause, breathe, and meet the need beneath the behaviour, we're not just guiding our children—we're healing patterns that began long before them.

✨ Tune in to learn how to hold boundaries with compassion, listen beneath the noise, and reconnect with the child behind the behaviour.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 19: The "I Am" Sessions

In this deeply personal episode, Julia invites listeners into the heart of her "I Am" sessions—transformative two-hour experiences designed to explore the roots of our emotional triggers, patterns, and reactions. Through gentle reflection and nervous-system awareness, these sessions uncover how our past shows up in the present—especially in moments with our children, partners, and loved ones.

Julia shares how healing begins when we slow down, listen to our body's stories, and meet the younger parts of ourselves with compassion. Parenting, she reminds us, is not just about raising children—it's about re-parenting ourselves.

If you've ever wondered why certain behaviours or moments feel so big, this episode will help you see those patterns not as flaws, but as invitations to heal.

✨ Join Julia as she helps us move from reaction to regulation, from attention to connection—and from old stories to new ways of being.

Episode 18 – Why Play Is the Language of Healing

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia brings the second series arc to a close—gently weaving together everything we've learned about play as the natural language of healing.

From non-directive play and symbolic storytelling to repetition, sand tray work, and the intentional design of the playroom, she reflects on how play allows children (and adults) to process emotion, integrate experience, and build safety from the inside out.

This episode is both a summary and a bridge—honoring the wisdom of play while opening the door to the next series: how parents and caregivers can bring these principles into their homes, relationships, and shared nervous systems.

Because when we understand play, we understand healing.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 17 – Sand Tray Therapy: The Stories Beneath the Surface

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores the quiet depth of sand tray therapy—a practice that helps children, teens, and adults give shape to emotions that words can't yet hold.

Through real-life examples and gentle neuroscience, she shares how sand and symbol become a bridge between the body and story—offering safety, distance, and expression. You'll learn what happens in a sand tray session, how meaning emerges through micro-shifts, and why silence, pacing, and presence matter more than interpretation.

Because sometimes, healing begins not with talking—but with placing one small figure in the sand, and letting the story unfold.

Episode 16 – A Tour of the Playroom Zones

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia takes listeners on a guided tour of the playroom—exploring how each zone within a play therapy space is intentionally designed to support regulation, expression, and healing.

From the nurturing zone where attachment themes emerge, to the power zone where children safely release big emotions, to the quiet zone where rest and reflection take shape—each area tells a story about what the child needs most.

You'll discover how every toy, texture, and corner serves a purpose, and why the most important "toy" in the room is the therapist's regulated, attuned presence.

Because in the right environment, play becomes more than activity—it becomes transformation.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 15 – When Kids Repeat the Same Game: What Does It Mean?

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores why children repeat the same play themes—building the same tower, hiding the same toy, rescuing the same figure—over and over again. Through real-life examples and gentle reflections, she explains how repetition in play helps children process emotions, integrate experiences, and build mastery.

You'll learn how to recognize healthy repetition, when to stay curious, and how to support your child's healing process without rushing it.

Because sometimes, the most powerful progress looks like doing the same thing—again and again—with a little more safety each time.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 14 – The Power of Symbolic Play (and Why It Matters)

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores the heart of how children communicate in therapy—symbolic play. Through stories, neuroscience, and gentle reflection, she reveals how metaphor and imagination allow children to process emotions, trauma, and power safely through play.

You'll learn why a dragon, a doll, or a simple block can hold profound meaning, how symbolic play supports nervous system regulation, and how adults can honor this process without rushing to interpret.

Because when we understand the language of symbols, we begin to see that play isn't just make-believe—it's how children heal.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 13 – What a Play Therapist Is Really Watching For

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia invites listeners behind the scenes of the playroom to discover what a play therapist is truly paying attention to. Through stories and examples, she explores how themes, patterns, symbols, and energy shifts reveal the unspoken stories children tell through play.

You'll learn why a therapist watches how a child plays—not just what they play—and how presence, reflection, and curiosity help transform simple moments into pathways for healing.

Because in the language of play, every choice tells a story.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 12 – Why Children Don't Need to Talk to Heal

What if healing didn't begin with words?

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores why children don't need to talk to heal—and how their bodies and play often speak the truths their words cannot. Through real examples and gentle reflections, she explains the neuroscience of regulation, the power of nonverbal expression, and the role of safe, attuned presence in helping children process big emotions.

You'll learn how to recognize the language of play, what silence and repetition really mean, and why healing happens not through explanation—but through safety, connection, and being seen.

Because sometimes, the most powerful conversations don't use words at all.

Episode 11 – The Difference Between Play and Therapeutic Play

Play is the natural language of childhood—but not all play is therapeutic.

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores the subtle yet profound difference between everyday play and therapeutic play. Through real examples and reflections, she reveals how attunement, safety, and curiosity turn ordinary moments of play into opportunities for healing and integration.

You'll learn how to notice the emotional stories beneath a child's play, how to reflect without fixing or analyzing, and how to bring the principles of therapeutic play into your home or classroom.

Because when play is met with presence and understanding, it becomes more than an activity—it becomes a pathway to healing.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 10 – What Is Non-Directive Play Therapy?

What if play isn't just something children do—but a language they use to speak the truths they can't yet say?

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores the world of non-directive play therapy—a gentle, respectful approach that trusts a child's inner wisdom to guide their own healing. Drawing on Virginia Axline's Eight Principles, she shares how safety, presence, and reflection create room for a child's story to unfold naturally through play.

You'll discover how this way of being—whether in the playroom, classroom, or at home—can transform how we listen, respond, and connect with the children in our lives.

Two small words—"I feel"—can transform the way we connect with ourselves and with others. Instead of blaming or accusing ("You never listen!" "You always do this!"), "I feel" statements anchor us in our own experience and invite connection rather than conflict.

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores the history and wisdom behind "I feel" statements, from Thomas Gordon's Parent Effectiveness Training to the humanistic philosophy of Carl Rogers. You'll hear how this practice shifts our nervous systems from defense to openness, and how it can be used in parenting, partnerships, classrooms, coaching, and even in the way we speak to ourselves.

Through real-life examples and gentle reflection practices, Julia shows how "I feel" creates accountability, clarity, and compassion—all while modeling to children and adults alike that emotions are safe to notice, name, and share.

Because when we begin with "I feel," we build bridges instead of walls, opening the way to repair, connection, and trust.

https://www.clarity.family/

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia pauses to share more of her own story—the decades she has spent creating safe spaces in residential homes, shelters, schools, and therapy rooms, and the personal journey that brought her here. Along the way, she opens up about the vulnerable side of this work: how hard it can be to hold space for herself, and how a simple reminder—"With Kindness"—guides her to show up authentically with compassion at the microphone.

This episode is both a reflection and a turning point. Julia looks back on the ground covered so far—naming feelings, "name it to tame it," co-regulation, mirror neurons, emotional safety, and the Feelings Wheel—and invites listeners to notice how these pieces form a toolkit rooted not in perfection, but in presence. She also shares what's ahead: deeper conversations about meltdowns and shutdowns, boundaries, somatic practices, compassionate language, and the ways emotional safety shapes our closest relationships.

At its heart, this episode is about honesty, tenderness, and the courage to begin again—with kindness for ourselves and others—as we continue practicing the art of presence together.

https://www.clarity.family/

What's really underneath when we say, "I feel bad" or "I'm upset"? Too often, we stop at vague words that don't fully capture what's alive inside us. The Feelings Wheel is a simple but powerful tool that helps us get more specific—moving from "mad" to "frustrated," "disrespected," or "powerless," or from "happy" to "calm," "safe," or "inspired."

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores how naming emotions clearly shifts us from overwhelm to understanding, from reactivity to connection. Through examples with children, partners, and even ourselves, she shows how the Feelings Wheel can turn a moment of snapping or shutdown into an opportunity for clarity, repair, and intimacy.

You'll also hear how this tool expands our language for positive emotions—allowing us to share not just that we feel "happy," but that we feel "peaceful," "light," or "courageous." That deeper naming builds stronger bonds and helps us be seen more fully in our relationships.

Because when we name what's real, our nervous systems soften, our connections deepen, and we discover that emotional safety begins with language.

https://www.clarity.family/

What happens when our nervous system decides it isn't safe to feel? For many of us, the response is to shut down—going quiet, disconnecting, or numbing out. This isn't weakness; it's a survival strategy our bodies learned, often long before we had words for it.

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores how shutdown shows up in children and adults alike, why it happens, and how we can begin to gently shift it. Through everyday examples with kids, partners, friends, and even ourselves, she shows how unsafe responses can close the door to connection—while safe, compassionate presence creates a pathway back.

You'll learn how emotional safety can be rebuilt, why shutdown is wisdom (not failure), and how small choices—pausing, softening, and offering presence—open the door to trust and healing.

Because when feelings are welcomed instead of dismissed, our nervous system learns it's safe to stay open, and real connection can begin again.

https://www.clarity.family/

What does emotional safety really feel like? It's the deep exhale of knowing you can show up with your whole self—messy, tender, unsure—and still be met with presence instead of judgment.

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores why emotional safety sits at the heart of every strong relationship. Through stories and real-life examples with children, partners, and even ourselves, she shows how safety isn't about perfection, but about repair, presence, and the courage to stay when it matters most.

You'll learn how to recognize and practice small moments of emotional safety—the friend who holds your tears, the parent who softens during a meltdown, the partner who listens without rushing to fix, the coach who steadies a player with one breath.

Because when we create safety—for others and for ourselves—we open the door to trust, healing, and deeper connection.

Episode 4 – Mirror Neurons and the Magic of Calm Presence

Have you ever felt your throat tighten when someone else cries, or felt calmer just by being near a grounded person? That's the work of mirror neurons—the brain cells that help us reflect what we see and feel in others.

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores the science and magic of mirror neurons and why our presence carries so much weight in the lives of our children, partners, and communities. Long before words are spoken, our nervous systems are scanning for cues of safety or danger. When we arrive scattered, kids feel it. When we arrive calm, they borrow that steadiness.

Through practical examples from parenting, partnerships, classrooms, therapy, and even self-reflection, Julia shows how mirror neurons shape the way we regulate:
✨ A child overwhelmed by shoes that won't go on
✨ A partner tight with work stress
✨ A teen spiraling over social media
✨ A co-parenting handoff with tension in the driveway
✨ The everyday overwhelm of our own endless to-do lists

You'll learn how even small shifts—like slowing your breath, softening your shoulders, lowering your voice—can change the entire emotional landscape of a moment.

This conversation is an invitation to remember:
✨ We don't teach calm with words alone—we teach it by embodying it.
✨ Co-regulation plants the seeds for self-regulation.
✨ Regulation isn't about never having big feelings—it's about staying connected to ourselves inside of them.

Join Julia as she guides you through reflection, practice, and gentle reminders that we teach what we embody—and when we embody calm, we create safety, connection, and resilience for ourselves and those around us.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 3 – Co-Regulation vs Self-Regulation: What's the Difference?

What's the difference between self-regulation and co-regulation—and why does it matter so much for our children, our relationships, and even our own nervous systems?

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores these two essential skills through the lens of nervous system science, attachment, and everyday life. Self-regulation is the ability to calm ourselves and come back to center—but it isn't something kids just "figure out" on their own. They first learn it through co-regulation: the presence of a calm, attuned adult who can help anchor them through big emotions.

You'll hear real-world examples of how co-regulation looks in action—with children, partners, classrooms, therapy sessions, and even with ourselves. Julia shares practical tools for pausing, softening, and breathing so that our calm becomes another person's safety, and their nervous system learns:
✨ "It's safe to feel."
✨ "I'm not alone in this."
✨ "My feelings don't make me too much."

This episode also highlights why self-regulation and co-regulation are deeply intertwined, how trauma can make these skills harder to access, and why safe, connected relationships are the foundation for emotional resilience.

Through gentle reflection invitations, Julia guides listeners to consider:
✨ Where in your life could you invite more co-regulation?
✨ How might you soften or pause before reacting?
✨ How can you let someone else be the calm for you?

Join this conversation to discover how safety and connection shape the way we regulate—and how every pause, every breath, and every moment of presence lays the groundwork for healing and deeper connection.

https://www.clarity.family/

Episode 2 – Name It to Tame It

Big feelings can feel like crashing waves—anger, sadness, anxiety, frustration. When we ignore them, they can overwhelm us. But when we name them—"I'm anxious," "I feel hurt," "I'm frustrated"—we give those feelings shape and create a path through them. This is the heart of Dan Siegel's powerful tool: Name It to Tame It.

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores why naming emotions matters for both kids and adults. You'll hear how language shifts the nervous system from reactivity to regulation, and how simply saying what's true opens the door to clarity and connection.

Through real-life examples from parenting, couples, classrooms, and therapy sessions, Julia shows how emotional language helps us:
✨ Ride the wave of a feeling instead of being swallowed by it
✨ Build trust and safety in relationships
✨ Model vulnerability and courage for children
✨ Anchor ourselves in the present moment

This isn't about fixing or suppressing feelings—it's about noticing, naming, and allowing them to move through. Julia also offers guided reflection practices you can try right now to connect with your body, find the words, and experience the shift that comes when we name what's real.

Tune in for practical tools, gentle reflections, and stories that remind us: when feelings are named, they can be felt and moved through. And that's how we tame the waves, one breath, one word, one moment at a time.

https://www.clarity.family/

When we say "I'm upset," what do we really mean?

In this episode of Holding Space, Julia explores the power of emotional language in our closest relationships—with our children, partners, classrooms, and even in therapy. Too often "I'm upset" becomes a vague catch-all, leaving others confused and ourselves disconnected. But when we slow down and name what's true—"I feel hurt," "I'm overwhelmed," "I'm lonely"—we create space for connection instead of conflict.

Through real-life examples with parents, partners, educators, and children in therapy, Julia shows how naming our feelings supports nervous system regulation, reduces blame and escalation, and models emotional responsibility for the next generation.

This episode is an invitation to pause, breathe, and practice emotional clarity:
✨ Tune into your body.
✨ Find the words beneath "I'm upset."
✨ Speak them with honesty and courage.

Because feelings that can be named can be felt and moved through. And when we use clear emotional language, we don't just change conversations—we deepen connection.

https://www.clarity.family/