Grief Encounters – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Séamas O’Reilly is a Derry born writer for The Observer and The New York Times, who speaks to Sasha and Venetia about his mother Sheila, who passed away three weeks before his sixth birthday in October 1991. Driving back from the Belfast hospital on the night of her death, his father was faced with the mammoth task of raising 11 children as a loan parent for the first time. 

An exceptionally talented and descriptive writer, Séamas’s memoir “Did Ye Hear Mammy Died?” comes out in Spring 202, and he shares his own memories of that period, and some newly uncovered ones during this week’s chat. Sasha, Venetia and Séamas also share their own unique stories and perspectives on parenting and bereavement and their way to approach the subject of death with children. 

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week's Grief Encounters is a little bit different than usual. Regular listeners of the podcast know that we often focus an episode on the life and loss of someone dear to our guests. 

Kelsie Donelly  is a PHD graduate from Queen’s University Belfast who recently got in touch with us about her research that looks into the ways in which 21st century literature can provide a new perspective on our grief. We were delighted to share this podcast with her, as she discussed how 2020 and everything that has come with it, has changed the focus of grief, and how particular narratives changed around the subject particularly in relation to the pandemic. She also discusses with Sasha about a new potential landmark in grief culture, that took place in the quite literal form of Robert Kardashian’s hologram birthday message to his daughters. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“I walked into the bathroom and leaned on the sink. It was a strong contraction and instinctively I reached down to deliver my own daughter. She was born sleeping. No cry. No noise. No heartbeat. I yelled for my husband and he held my shaking body while we waited for the ambulance to arrive.

It was my third pregnancy and my first daughter. Nina. She had been with me for 38 weeks. I smiled the entire pregnancy daydreaming of holding my beautiful girl.”

These are words from today’s guest, Adriana Monique Alvarez, who’s daughter Nina was stillborn at 38 weeks, leaving her family heartbroken and feeling lost. Adriana joined Sasha in February and they discussed her own personal journey through the bereavement of her daughter, and how the grief fundamentally changed her outset on life. 

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dalymount Park, otherwise known as The Home of Irish Football has seen some really special performances taken place in it’s One Hundred and Twenty-year history.

This May, that trend will hopefully continue as, this week’s guests Tony Owen’s & Mike Culshaw will represent a team of bereaved fathers, as they take on an international team of men, who have also been affected by Stillbirth or Neonatal oss. Both teammates join Sasha for this special episode, as they chat about their experience with stillbirth, as well as addressing the problem of men not speaking about their grief to eachother.

Féileacáin (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Association of Ireland – SANDAI) was formed in 2009 and subsequently registered as a charity in 2010 ( CHY – 19635). Feileacain was formed by a group of bereaved parents to offer support to anyone affected by the death of a baby around the time of birth, and the organisation is now the national charity supporting families affected by perinatal loss.

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Sasha and Venetia were joined in studio by Bríd Shine, midwife specialist in perinatal palliative care and bereavement for over ten years to discuss her incredibly important role in helping mothers who suffer stillbirth and neonatal birth in Ireland.

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This weeks guest is Fiona Tuomey, Founder and Director of HUGG which is an incredible charity that provides suicide bereavement support groups and online resources. In January 2016, Fiona’s beautiful daughter Milly died by suicide at the age of 11, just six weeks away from her twelfth birthday. In the four years since Fiona has done incredible work, campaigning for vital youth and adult mental health services to be implemented countrywide, highlighting some gaping flaws in the Irish health system. 

In the interview, Fiona describes Milly with such vivid colour, that it’s clear to see how special of a child she was. “She felt very deeply about things and I felt that her barometer for empathy was really very strong. She could also feel great sorrow. The first time she saw a homeless man in Dublin she cried, and came home and said can I give him all my pocket money, what can I do?” 

After noticing a change in Milly’s personality, Fiona was made aware that her daughter was suffering from suicidal ideations, having told her peers she knew the exact day she wanted to die. Shocked and devastated, Fiona and her husband approached the situation with a huge amount of seriousness, but were ultimately let down by the state, after searching for support. The Tuomey families story is an incredibly sad one, and much greater questions need to be asked around the shortcomings of Ireland’s health infrastructure to help those struggling with mental health issues. Fiona’s tireless campaigning for these supports and greater accountability, will undoubtedly play a part in fostering a more proactive approach to dealing with suicide and the families affected by it. 

HUGG is a peer support organisation. We provide a safe, confidential environment in which those bereaved by suicide can share their experiences and feelings, so giving and gaining support from each other. The aftermath of a suicide is shocking, debilitating, surreal, life changing. But you can learn to live with this loss. It is not easy, but we are here to help.

People who are suicide bereaved sometimes find it can be difficult for people who have not experienced suicide loss, including professionals, to understand what they are going through. Often the best conversations are had with peers – other people bereaved by suicide. Our support groups are facilitated by people who have been bereaved by suicide. The groups are open, meet fortnightly and are free of charge. You do not have to speak, there is healing in just being with those who understand your pain.

If you would like to come along to a HUGG group, just call us on 01 513 4048 (monitored answering machine) or email info@hugg.ie for more information.

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Sasha and Venetia sat down to record a podcast without the addition of any guests, to discuss their own grief as well a variety of other important matters that have been brought up in the Grief Encounters community online. 

In the episode, they both discuss the recent anniversaries that have taken place for them, and what way the podcast has affected their own approach to these days. In the wake of some tragic and high-profile celebrity deaths in recent weeks, they also look at how we grieve for those we don’t know, and how a public death can often conjure up sad emotions relating to a loved one who has died.

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This weeks guest is The Sunday Times’ writer Laura Kennedy, a leading voice in grief conversation here in Ireland over the past five years. Laura’s work has done a huge amount in distilling a more modern approach to how we discuss the people we have lost in our lives, as well as the grief that comes with doing so. She spoke to Sasha about her beautiful mother Emma, who died from pancreatic cancer in 2015. 

In the interview she spoke in detail about her mother’s illness and trying to navigate her own emotions, knowing that her mother’s illness was progressively worsening. 

“I have always been very interested in emotions and have gone on to study those, and done a PHD in Philosophy relating to emotions because I found them interesting. And because my mother was always so strident about controlling them -that they are relevant, but they are not always true. So it seemed not particularly relevant. Her need was evidently greater. “

Laura’s grief has developed, particularly in recent years, and she now finds herself in a better place when thinking back about Emma. 

“I don’t feel the rawness of emotion that I felt then, and I think it would be deeply concerning if I did. I do feel the depths of emotion, but obviously I have learned to recognise it better, and cope with it better. And now also treat my responses with a bit of understanding and kindness, because you can feel like an idiot getting upset in the supermarket because of a song that came on. But you are a person. You’re not impervious and of course memory and emotion will affect you. And it’s not nice, but in a way its endearing, that even after 5 years, even a couple of lines from a song can bring her back in that moment” 

After hearing this chat, we think listeners will agree that how Laura speaks and describes her own grief is equally as beautiful as her writing on the matter.

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s guest is a mother from Manchester who’s life was turned completely upside down, on the night of May 22nd 2017. Figen Murray’s son Martyn Hett was one of 22 innocent concert-goers killed at a suicide bombing that devastated Manchester and beyond, as Salman Abedi, detonated an explosive device in the foyer of The Manchester Arena. 

Speaking to Sasha, she described the night of the terrorist attack, as they excruciatingly awaited some positive news, as information trickled into their family home. Figen’s maternal instincts sadly proved to be true in this case. 

“He’s dead. I just know, because it is like somebody has just taken this giant pair of scissors and cut off any presence of him. It feels like he’s suddenly gone, it doesn’t even feel like he is on the planet any more ”  She continued, ”call it mum’s intuition or something, but I just absolutely knew that there was suddenly no sense of him whatsoever. It was quite weird” 

It’s clear that Martyn had something extraordinarily unique about his personality and character. The 29-year-old was a self-professed superfan of Coronation Street and had garnered many connections with the thousands of followers subscribed to his social media channels. Although thinking back about memories of her beautiful son sparks a certain level of pain, Figen still delights in telling Sasha about just how loved he was. 

“ A lot of his friends were moaning that they had to make an appointment with him to even spend time with him, he was so popular. He lived life a hundred miles an hour really, and I don’t know where he got the energy from”.

On the podcast, Sasha and Venetia have spoken a lot about taking action in grief, and how a devastating loss can often spur a loved one on, to channel their energy into something new. This is no different for Figen, who at the age of 59 has begun a Masters Degree in Counter-Terrorism, in a bid to try and understand why and how an act like this is possible. 

Unlike the majority of death’s that have been discussed on the podcast, there was someone accountable for Martyn’s death, which makes the grieving process much more complicated. Remarkably, Figen has acknowledged in the past that she forgives her sons attacker, something requiring a huge amount of empathy and emotional intelligence. Through her Masters and advocacy work, she is determined now to focus her efforts into preventing radicalisation from an early age, which she believes is the root preventing terrorism claiming more lives.

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s guest is the New Zealand rugby journalist, charity worker and children's book author Brent Pope, who joined Sasha and Venetia to speak about minding your mental health after the loss of a loved one. 

There is a huge symbiosis between grief and mental health, and in recent years Brent has done stellar work in speaking about his struggles with depression and anxiety. Last April, Brent's father sadly passed away after battling Parkinson’s Disease at home in New Zeland. Brent delivers a beautiful account of his father’s character and what made him such a unique man. Having originally moved to Ireland for 3 months, he has lived here for the last thirty years and speaks candidly about the varying levels of regret he has about not seeing as much of his Dad as he would have liked to. 

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos , memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.