Fear Isn’t the Enemy 👾
We often think we need to protect our children from things that scare them, but in reality it's better to help them face it.
“Fairy Tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.”
~GK Chesteron
Kids know that scary sh*t is out there. But their biggest fear is not the monster under the bed or the bully on the playground. The biggest fear many children have? Feeling powerless. That's why fear can lead to aggressive outbursts—because when a child feels scared, they try to regain control, often through extreme reactions.
What Helps? Facing Fear with Control 💪
It’s not about keeping scary things away from them, but about teaching them to face fear while remaining in control. Let them go at their own pace—approaching the edge of their comfort zone but not pushing them into distress.
Practical Tips for Managing Fear 👻
Here’s how you can help your child manage their fears:
- Take Baby Steps: Start small, letting them explore their fears in a controlled way.
- Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their fear without rushing to solve it for them.
- Playfully Conquer Fear: For imaginative fears (like monsters or vampires), try creative solutions—draw pictures of what they’re scared of and destroy them, or come up with funny tools to "banish" their fears.
- Create Safe Opportunities: Games like hide-and-seek can help kids practice separation in a fun, controlled setting.
The goal isn’t to shelter kids from fear but to help them practice feeling scared and managing that fear. When we let them take control, they become more empowered, resilient and ultimately cooperative!
On today's "Good Enough Parenting" podcast, I share a personal story of how I was able to move my three year old from paralyzed to playful on Halloween night.
And while we can't make all the dragons disappear, we can give our kids the swords they need to feel less afraid. And that's good enough.
To get Carley’s free video teaching you 4 play therapy techniques you can use TODAY to calm your emotional child and bring joy and freedom back to family life click here!
http://www.paceparent.com/play
And follow her @CarleyCounsels on FB & IG!
