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Ep 138 - Deathly Hallows 23: Two Dobbies Died ft. Nikita28 Aug 202401:21:34

She's back! We can't get rid of her. Nikita has been patiently waiting under a blanket in my spare room for two weeks, waiting to return to the podcast and be forced to do more shots. She hates us! Please make her leave my flat.


Resources for supporting Palestine:

Write to your local representative. UK template here:

https://una.org.uk/sites/default/files/2024-02/template_letter_to_mps_-_gaza_feb_2024.docx


GoFundMe to Palestinian families on the ground -

Fundraisers for Palestinian families trying to flee:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-to-continue-our-live-in-gaza?utm_campaign=p_cp+fundraiser-sidebar&utm_content=icons_only_var_c&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer


https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-me-to-evacuate-my-family-to-survive-the-war?utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAabGp50XTYWiSkhcbBuVTZXIbSJH0xWydXefUX3WZwzgohcvyDJ_CU4nR0k_aem_loMhLQCd-Ei9zF3jKAWWqg


https://www.gofundme.com/f/bridge-to-life-evacuate-maryams-family-from-gaza?utm_campaign=fp_sharesheet&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link


Other resources and up to date info - https://palestinecampaign.org/


HP TV Show Petition: ⁠⁠⁠https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/nohptv/⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19H9-NRMfaISLNMAaLSssQFrNy8dUTR3Jeq6oioK4OwQ/edit?usp=sharing⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Merch - https://www.redbubble.com/people/gobletofwine/shop?asc=u⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠www.gobletofwine.co.uk  ⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/gobletofwine ⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod   ⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@gobletofwinepod?lang=en⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@gobletofwinepodcast

Ep 137 - Deathly Hallows 22: Stop The Goats ft. Nikita14 Aug 202401:40:53

But more importantly, stop Israel. Resources for supporting Palestine:

Write to your local representative. UK template here:

https://una.org.uk/sites/default/files/2024-02/template_letter_to_mps_-_gaza_feb_2024.docx


GoFundMe to Palestinian families on the ground -

Fundraisers for Palestinian families trying to flee:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-to-continue-our-live-in-gaza?utm_campaign=p_cp+fundraiser-sidebar&utm_content=icons_only_var_c&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer


https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-me-to-evacuate-my-family-to-survive-the-war?utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAabGp50XTYWiSkhcbBuVTZXIbSJH0xWydXefUX3WZwzgohcvyDJ_CU4nR0k_aem_loMhLQCd-Ei9zF3jKAWWqg


https://www.gofundme.com/f/bridge-to-life-evacuate-maryams-family-from-gaza?utm_campaign=fp_sharesheet&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link


Other resources and up to date info - https://palestinecampaign.org/


HP TV Show Petition: ⁠⁠⁠https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/nohptv/⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Enjoy Harry Potter Without Funding JK Masterlist - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19H9-NRMfaISLNMAaLSssQFrNy8dUTR3Jeq6oioK4OwQ/edit?usp=sharing⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Merch - https://www.redbubble.com/people/gobletofwine/shop?asc=u⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠www.gobletofwine.co.uk  ⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/gobletofwine ⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod   ⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@gobletofwinepod?lang=en⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@gobletofwinepodcast

Ep 128 - Deathly Hallows 10: It’s Todd’s World, We’re Just Living In It25 Feb 202401:12:46
Ep 44 - Goblet of Fire 19 & 20: Death chilling in the three broomsticks08 Jun 202000:31:51

#blacklivesmatter

https://blacklivesmatter.com  

Ello ello ello. What's that? You want another episode to relieve you from lockdown hell? WELL OK FINE. We're chatting chapters 19 & 20 of Goblet of....FIRE. Aka all things the first task, ethics in journalism, and transfiguration and dogs rights. Enjoy!

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Ep 43 - Goblet of Fire 17 & 18: Tubby Custard25 May 202000:46:18

Helllllo! Welcome back to another lockdown long distance GoW episode! In today's ep Charlie is drinking tubby custard, and we're chatting how degrees don't matter, arse vs ass, Hogwart's badge craze and how Rita Skeeta is a pedophile. If that sounds like fun then grab a glass and listen along!

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Ep 42 - Goblet of Fire 15 & 16: God Save The Dean11 May 202001:01:16

It's time for another quarentine episode! In today's ep we're reading chapters 15 & 16 of Goblet of Fire and chatting the national anthem, the imperius curse, butterfly hair clips, hating the french, and finding out which piece of me Hannah would chop off if she had to.

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Ep 41 - Goblet of Fire 13 & 14: Snape's Owl Fursona27 Apr 202001:17:04

Welcome to the first ever episode NOT RECORDED TOGETHER :( That's right, me and Hannah are doing some fun lockdown style long distance recordings. This episode may break our record for the episode we talk about Harry Potter the least in. Instead, we're talking about the British educational system, Charlie's teeth, Hannah looking after snails, and we read our BIRTH CHARTS! Because astrology is definitely...real. ENJOY!

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Ep 40 - Goblet of Fire 11-12: The Death Troll13 Apr 202000:43:49

It's us again! We're back with an episode that was pre-recorded before the entire country went into lockdown...yay. We're chatting about chapters 11-12 of Goblet of Fire, about how Charlie lives in a hole, ranting about British Geography and travel logistics (YOU CAN'T GET A TAXI FROM DEVON TO KINGS CROSS!!!), Draco's obsession with Harry, and the death troll. This episode also features a beautiful rendition of the sorting hat song by Hannah.

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Ep 39 - Goblet of Fire 9-10: Big Feet Big...30 Mar 202000:52:40

Sorry if you’re listening to this for a distraction from Corona Virus because we mention it within the FIRST FIVE SECONDS. Aside from our blissful naivety about COVID-19, we’re talking about Ron’s big...feet, JK Rowling’s questionable metaphors, how all Veela are lesbians, and most importantly - David Tennant’s tongue. We also have Tiktok now if you want to see us embarrass ourselves on there.   

Trigger warnings: 

18.30 - TW sexual harrasment/assault start 

20.30 - end 

21.55 - TW start again 

22.36 - TW rape 

24.35 - end

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Ep 38 - Goblet of Fire 7-8: Kinky Muggle Roleplay16 Mar 202001:15:33

Hello and welcome back to your favourite way to make coronavirus self isolation EVEN WORSE! Today we’re drinking Irish coffees (because quidditch, duh) and chatting about one of our favourite chapters - THE QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP. We’re also rambling about Hannah’s mum splitting a fox, transphobia in the books, #justiceforalibashir, Krum’s pull out game, and doing lots of maths...

Muggle Pants Video

Ludo Bagman

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Ep 37 - Goblet of Fire 5-6: Hogwarts School Musical02 Mar 202000:49:12

Welcome back to THE GAYEST CHAPTERS EVER! That’s right, today we’re reading chapters 5-6 of goblet of fire and discussing our latest Patreon goals, how the twins life is basically high school musical, how wizards need to stop going to Albania. We’re also answering a Patreon question about our favourite places in London!

Listener Survey  

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Ep 36 - Goblet of Fire 3-4: the 8 meter wide, perfectly round 14 year old named Dudley17 Feb 202000:34:03

We’re backkkk. This episode is dedicated to Hannah’s departed grandad Adrian…who has a shit taste in alcohol. We’re reading chapters 3 & 4 of Goblet of Fire and talking a LOT about fat phobia, bats, shrews, and the Weasley twins absolutely shite sense of humour.

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Ep 35 - Goblet of Fire 1-2: Milkin' Snapes03 Feb 202000:44:28
Omg - BOOK FOUR. Who can believe it - me and Hannah read three whole books. In today's episode over a bottle of 'Kinky Pride' I get very passionate about how much I hate Harry and wish the books weren't written from his perspective. We also get peak British and oveshare stories about growing up in villages and scrumping apples and breaking into private land to revise for exams - I was a really badass teen obviously. We also discuss how the fuck you milk a snake. Like seriously. What. Listener Survey   www.gobletofwine.co.uk   patreon.com/gobletofwine    Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod    Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast
Ep 127 - Deathly Hallows 8 & 9: YMC(GAY)12 Feb 202401:52:08
Ep 34 - Prisoner of Azkaban Film: Emo and Racist20 Jan 202001:40:00
It's time for the last episode of the season! We're talking about the Prisoner of Azkaban film and how it's emo, racist, has no plot and assassinates Hermione's character! Yay! We're also announcing which House has won the Patreon House Cup as well as the HeadHuman and Prefects for each house!  Listener Survey   www.gobletofwine.co.uk   patreon.com/gobletofwine    Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod    Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast
Ep 33 - Prisoner of Azkaban 22: Time for Time Travel ft. Neil MacQuarrie06 Jan 202001:37:32
We’re back and we’re FINALLY letting Neil speak about time travel! A lot! No seriously! Like a lot...a lot. If you don’t like time travel then I’m SO SORRY you’re going to hate this episode because we go into excruciating detail about open vs closed loop time travel, whether the time travel in Harry Potter works, and paradoxes. So buckle up! We also go on several spoilery rants about other franchises, so if you want to avoid spoilers or just don’t give a shit, here’s where you can skip:  Marvel Avengers Endgame: 3:15, 6:30-10:10  Game of Thrones: 52:20-1:00:00 Neil's Twitter   Listener Survey   www.gobletofwine.co.uk   patreon.com/gobletofwine    Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod    Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast
Bonus ep - Goblet of Mulled Wine: Gay Sex, Murder, Dildos, & Fan Fiction24 Dec 201900:35:43

It’s time for a very special FESTIVE bonus episode! We’re getting into the Christmas spirit with a Christmas themed fan fiction writing challenge! We asked our Patreon’s to send us prompts for: character, location, object, and spell. We picked these at random and the only rule was we had 10 minutes to write a fan fiction mentioning all of the prompts, AND Christmas. Trash ensued. Enjoy and don’t forget to head to our Twitter/IG stories to vote on your favourite fan fic!

Listener Survey  

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Ep 32 - Prisoner of Azkaban 21: Goblet of Thrones ft. Neil MacQuarrie23 Dec 201901:13:08

Hello! In today's episode we're drinking the most basic bitch of beers - Brewdog Punk IPA. Why are we being so basic you ask? Well, why else could it be - Neil is back! And by VERY popular demand (see, we DID read the listen survey responses!). This ep we read & discuss chapter 21 of PoA. "Only one chapter?!" I hear you all cry out in confusion - well, YES, we recorded for 3 hours, so now you get the blessing of not only one, but TWO basic bitch Neil episodes. It's a Christmas miracle. Neil REALLY wanted to come on to discuss time travel. Instead there's some absolutely spectacular accents at play (and some less spectacular), we go on a HUGE (and now very topical, despite this being recorded weeks ago) rant about JK Rowling, we talk a lot about Game of Thrones, and Marvel, and puberty, and we do a hell of a lot of singing. And absolutely no talk about time travel. Poor Neil.

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Ep 31 - Prisoner of Azkaban 19&20: Bad Things Happen When You Enter Holes09 Dec 201901:23:21

Hey there, sooo...forgive us for the audio. We know. We don’t know what happened but for some reason there were some irreparable issues with the audio file for this episode, we’ve done a lot to improve it but particularly at the end it gets a little bit wild. It’s more than listenable however, so we hope you can forgive us. These things happen. But, ANYWAY! This episode we’re covering some EXTRA JUICY chapters, so we hope you enjoy!

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Ep 30 - Prisoner of Azkaban 17&18: Harry Potter and the Tear-away Trousers ft. Melissa Anelli25 Nov 201901:21:17

Yo wassup. Today we have a very special episode as we're chatting with the one and only queen of the Harry Potter fandom - Melissa Anelli! We're drinking Scotch and reading chapters 17 and 18 of Prisoner of Azkaban, which ends up as mostly yelling. Seriously. Charlie yells about the terrible Werewolf/HIV metaphor, Melissa yells about Hermione being a flawed character, and EVERYONE yells about how the films ruined Ron. So if a bunch of adults drunkenly yelling about a children's book sounds like your thing, then smash that play button.

Melissa Anelli:

www.melissaanelli.com  

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Us:

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Ep 29 - Prisoner of Azkaban 15&16:The Dying Art Of Crafting A Shaft11 Nov 201900:47:43

Today’s episode goes out to our wonderful producer level Patreon Amanda, who made us drink the very questionable combination of red wine and coke, which turned Charlie a little weird. Blame Amanda. We’re chatting about chapters 15-16 of Prisoner of Azkaban, how you should always punch rich white men, the implications of cheering charms, Draco’s thighs, and most importantly: the dying art of crafting a shaft. Now...BUNDLE!

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Us:

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Bonus Ep - Charlie Reads Her Shit Fanfiction LIVE05 Nov 201901:03:37

SURPRISE BONUS EP! If you can’t tell by the title of this episode (in which case you may be just as dyslexic as Charlie was when she wrote this) we’re back for another bonus episode of READING CHARLIE’S SHIT OLD FANFICTION. Yup. Kill me. This story follows the antics of Paige, aka the worlds biggest emo, and her love interest Draco. It starts slow, but OH BOY does it really go to shit. This episode was recorded live at Draigcon, so the audio isn’t fantastic, but we promise you won’t notice because of how much you’ll be cringing at the contents.

https://harrypotterfanfiction.com/viewstory.php?chapterid=297960&showRestricted  

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Ep 28 - Prisoner of Azkaban 13&14: Hagrid's Furry Little Secret ft. Fanatical Fics28 Oct 201901:15:08

It's time for another episode! This week we're joined by Kim from our favourite Harry Potter podcast - Fanatical Fics and Where To Find Them - a self proclaimed 'shitty Hufflepuff'. If you haven't listened to Fanatical Fics then you need to, like, go do that, now. They're our sister podcast and our American, fan-fiction obsessed counterpart. We chat about chapters 13 & 14 of POA, including the feeling of wood between your legs, how Hagrid is clearly a furry, and how Draco, Vinnie, and Greg are clearly a throuple.

Listener Survey  

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Us:

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Ep 27 - Prisoner of Azkaban 11&12: Nuggets14 Oct 201900:33:26

Guten tag! Today me and Hannah are potentially starting World War 3 over our misguided attempt to pay tribute to Germany. We're drinking some...interesting German booze called 'Jagdstolz' and eating some authentic German Haribo courtesy of our wonderful listener Fiona! We’re chatting about Hannah’s obsession with tea, what our Patronus memories would be, how you can wank away depression and…nuggets.

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Ep 126 - Deathly Hallows 6 & 7: The Ghoul's Toupee29 Jan 202401:52:55
Bonus Ep - ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL12 Oct 201901:49:07
Much like Harry when he was left on a doorstep in late October to freeze to death and have his frozen body punted across the lawn by the front door opening in the morning, the podcast is A YEAR OLD!!!! Wow, wasn’t that a tenuous segue? THAT’S RIGHT! It’s been a whole year since me and Hannah first put out our awful, drunken takes on Harry Potter for the world to listen to, and somehow so far no one has stopped us - not even a time travelling version of our future selves or one of JK Rowling’s lawyers. So to celebrate a year of giving our largely unwanted opinions we’re coming at you with a bonus episode! Listen to us record a special episode whilst on instagram live, including: much reminiscing, answering YOUR Q&A’s, and answering Harry Potter themed ‘fuck, marry, kill’ voice notes from our Patreon supporters. Featuring classic moments such as us struggling over a dick shaped bottle, attempting to do American accents, and doing many, many shots. www.gobletofwine.co.uk   patreon.com/gobletofwine    Twitter.com/gobletofwinepod    Instagram.com/gobletofwinepodcast www.facebook.com/gobletofwinepodcast
Ep 26 - Prisoner of Azkaban 9&10: Stabbed In The Eye With A Turkey Twizzler10 Oct 201900:45:19

Hannah has many talents. Unfortunately, as we discover in this episode, making cocktails is not one of them. Yep, that's right, in today's episode we're drinking homemade Butterbeer to celebrate the trio drinking Butterbeer for the first time in these chapters. Only it's two recipes that Hannah made up, and can only be described as if someone has cummed an egg into a beer. I don't recommend you recreating them, but if anyone does want to, here are the recipes: 

  1. Ginger beer, shot of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum, Caramel Vodka, egg white, vanilla extract
  2. Beer, Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum, Toffee Liqueur, egg white

When we’re not gagging on Hannah’s vile creations, we’re going full British by discussing turkey twizzlers (and alienating every non-UK listener in the process), getting wayyy too into an idea for a Hermione/Wood smut fan-fiction, pondering over whether repair-o would fix a hymen, and drunkenly being completely unable to say any character names correctly. Also, due to the political state of the UK, me and Hannah are looking to get married to anyone with an EU passport. Please email us with serious enquiries only.

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Ep 25 - Prisoner of Azkaban 7&8: It Pees When I Burn16 Sep 201900:59:59

Ello ello ello. It’s time for another episode of Goblet of Wine. Today we’re spicing it up with special guest Sarah, aka Hannah’s “temporary-live-in-housemate” who since recording this episode has had a major life glow-up. We’re covering chapters 7 & 8 of Prisoner of Azkaban, chatting shit about chlamydia, covering snakes in lube, boggArts, and Hannah’s passion for wood.

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Ep 24 - Prisoner of Azkaban 5&6: I've Got A Dick In My Cup02 Sep 201900:42:29

'ello. Welcome back, why have you come back? Never mind, we're glad you have. We're breaking our format today and putting down the booze for once...but it's okay, we're already smashed. Instead we're drinking TEA! I can tell what you're thinking, "oh wow, these girls are really committing to the whole 'we're British' theme." Well, not quite (but also yes, had we mentioned that we're English?). No, we're drinking tea because it's TEA LEAF READING TIME! That's right, it's Harry's first divination lesson, which can only mean one thing - we're getting our fortunes told. Aka drunkenly spilling tea everywhere and predicting Brexit and the Cats trailer. At some point we also discuss chapters 5 and 6 of Prisoner of Azkaban, apparently. Enjoy!

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Ep 23 - Prisoner of Azkaban 3&4: Prisoners of Ouzoban19 Aug 201900:57:42

Fresh off the back of the excitement about our new microphones we’re here with an episode that we had to record THREE TIMES because we’re too stupid to use them correctly. To make up for it, we did an instagram live and did several shots of Ouzo as punishment and to make sure we were drunk enough for the episode to still be funny...hopefully it worked? Honestly it’s mostly just chaos (go figure). Join us as we chat about Harry whoring himself out on the streets, debate what goes on inside Fudge’s head, compare owls to eggs and chat about FANNIES. Please don’t unsubscribe. 

TW R*ape 25:30

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Ep 22 - Prisoner of Azkaban 1&2: Owl Orgies In Norfolk05 Aug 201900:57:54

NEW AUDIO NEW AUDIO NEW AUDIO!

Sorry we're a little bit excited about our NEW MICROPHONES! Now you can hear how posh and annoying we are IN HD!!! We're also super excited to finally be on Prisoner of Azkaban, aka the book where shit starts to get real. Join us as we discuss wax play, owl orgies, and monster book of monsters bondage as part of our quest to make this the least family friendly Harry Potter podcast ever. We also discuss some actual plot, and Hannah tells an excruiating story about what she had for breakfast and repeatedly refers to the Order of the Pheonix Dumbledore's Army because she's an IDIOT!

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Live from Draigcon! Ft Chris Rankin - Defending Percy Weasley22 Jul 201900:46:35

We're back and this week we're FOBBING YOU OFF WITH A BONUS EP! So me and Hannah have lives outside of the podcast (shock, I know) and unfortunately due to a combination of work trips, Draigcon, and Hannah selfishly gallivanting off on holiday, we haven’t managed to record and edit a real episode yet. BUT we thought it was the perfect time to take a little break between books and to share one of the live recordings from this weekend at Draigcon. So in today’s episode we’re going to be discussing all things Percy Weasley, joined (at 12:00) by none other than the man himself Chris Rankin! It was meant to be a super deep moral discussion of the pros and cons of Percy Weasley, but Chris was a bad influence and it unfortunately descended into discussions of slash fiction, S&M dungeons and fisting.

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Ep 21 - Chamber Of Secrets Film: The One After Draigcon08 Jul 201901:04:23

I'm going to be completely honest with you, we're uploading this just after Draigcon and we're exhausted to a level where I've only had time to proof listen to about 20-30 minutes of this episode. We discuss the second film, Chamber of Secrets, whilst hungover, and probably make a variety of sarcastic comments and sexual innuendos. Hannah probably makes a bunch of really smart and insightful comments about the makeup artistry, styling, and special effects used, and Charlie probably makes dick jokes and talks about which cast members she would or wouldn't fuck. You know, the usual.   

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Ep 20 - Chamber Of Secrets Ch 17&18: This Doesn't Seem Like Dying24 Jun 201901:10:54

It's the end of Chamber of Secrets! This episode we're drinking cider as England is unusually sunny whilst record (and uploading!) this. Charlie for once has actually made plot notes and we're discussing the epic amount of foreshadowing in these chapters, horcruxes and finding out who Alexa's favourite Harry Potter character is!  

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Ep 19 - Chamber Of Secrets Ch 15&16: Hagrid's Murder Quota ft. HeyAmyJane10 Jun 201901:18:11

Guess who's back? Back again...no it's not slim shady, it's Hannah and Charlie, sorry to disappoint. This episode we’re joined by special guest and general nerd-stuff youtuber HeyAmyJane! We’re discussing Ron’s incredible character development, how Hagrid was clearly sacrificing students each year, how the flying car is the goodest of all bois, and Percy wanking in cupboards. We also discover that Charlie apparently doesn’t know how many legs spiders have.  

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Ep 125 - Deathly Hallows 4 & 5: Ted McDreamy Tonks15 Jan 202401:46:14
Ep 18 - Chamber Of Secrets Ch 13&14: Snape's Furry27 May 201900:51:38

HOWDY! Welcome to our first THEMED episode! To apologise to the 58% of our listeners that are American, this episode we're making a totally awesome tribute to the U-S-of-A. We're drinking Jack Daniels, eating American sweets and....well, that's it. We tried okay! We also have a super special announcement that we'll be appearing at this years Draigcon! More info in the episode or at the link below. This ep we're discussing how Harry loves attention (big mood), how men are useless and unobservant, and speaking of useless - Charlie fucks up big time! 

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Ep 17 - Chamber Of Secrets Ch 11&12: Percy's Christmas Day F*CK!14 May 201901:02:02

Welcome back Wizards! This week Charlie and Hannah are drinking a super secret surprise alcohol that involves a spoon, sugar, and a lighter. It's bohemian, okay. We're discussing chapters 11&12 of COS and how Hermione casually abandons her family, how Ernie Macmillian cares more about being right than about his friend potentially dying (relatable), Harry's moral compass being based on whether or not he wants to fuck someone, and an unusually lucid observation from Charlie about a psychologist called Lombroso.  

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Ep 16 - Chamber Of Secrets Ch 9&10: Queer Eye for the Wizard Guy29 Apr 201901:03:45

Join us for this weeks episode where we're back and discussing chapters 9-10 of Chamber Of Secrets. So settle down with a brew and listen to us waffle on about how prophercies work, how Ron is like the Word paperclip of Wizardry, how Quidditch is bullshit and how Dumbledore should join Queer Eye for the Wizard Guy! 

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Ep 15 - Chamber Of Secrets Ch 7&8: The Basilisks Secret Friend15 Apr 201901:06:21

Trigger Warning - Domestic Violence - 53-55mins. 

Charlie and Hannah are back at it again for an episode that swings wildly between serious discussions of the racist implications of the word 'mudblood' and whether all the Basilisk ever wanted was a friend to chat to. All this is stirred up with Hannah's excited theory on the vanishing cabinet, Hogwarts being a shit school (what's new) and how on earth a ghost horse works. Grab a glass an try to keep up with the podcast that seriously can't decide what genre it falls into!  

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Ep 14 - Chamber Of Secrets Ch6: DJ Lockhart and the Curious Kipper ft. Neil MacQuarrie01 Apr 201900:53:53

We're back to complete the episode with special guest Neil and this time we finally get to focus on Gildery Lockhart. The Man. The Myth. The radio DJ? Also featuring a rant about whether anyone really eats kippers for breakfast and a hopefully somewhat intelligent dicussion on JK Rowling coding of the British class systems. Grab some alcohol and join in as we hopefully get a bit less screamy about geography!

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Ep 13 - Chamber Of Secrets Ch5: Norfolk'n'Chance ft. Neil MacQuarrie18 Mar 201900:52:17

We're back with our very first guest episode! Today's episode feature's Hannah's boyfriend Neil and a lot of ranting about Norfolk and the geography of the UK, dicussing chondoms aka chicken condoms, and teaching Hannah what filibuster means with dubious knowledge learnt exclusively from the hit show Parks and Recreation - we also at some point discuss Harry Potter. So grab a glass, a map of England, and listen along. Make sure to follow us on social media where we'll be sharing photos to illustrate just how badly JK Rowling has fucked up with her geography knowledge, as well as loads of other behind the scenes antics.

Neil:

indiecisiveblog.wordpress.com

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Ep 12 - Chamber Of Secrets Ch3&4: The Ouzo Who Must Not Be Named04 Mar 201900:42:56

Your favourite drunken-British-Harry-Potter podcast co-hosts are back - and this week they've been poisoned. Poisoned by Ouzo. We have our first ever producer level patreon Sandra to 'thank' for this who kindly chose Absinthe as our drink this week, which after we couldn't find easily because #BritishProblems, we chose Ouzo as the next closest thing. Never drink Ouzo. At some point between force feeding ourselves Ouzo and trying not to be sick we also discuss chapters 3 and 4 of the Chamber of Secrets, and answer Sandra's question of which character in the series would we most like to curse with incurable hiccups. 

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Ep 11 - Chamber Of Secrets Ch1&2: Dobby's Schlong18 Feb 201901:00:18

Welcome back for a very exciting episode - we can't believe we've gotten this far - we're onto book two!!! This episode we're discussing the first two chapters of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, talking about JK's weird thing of demonising ugly people, Harry rating people on whether he wants to fuck them, and Dobby's schlong! 

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Bonus Ep - Reading Charlie's Shit Old Fanfiction11 Feb 201900:42:52

Surprise! We have yet another bonus episode for you, you lucky things! Inspired by the amazing podcast Fanatical Fics (which if you haven't listened to, what are you doing here listening to us, GO LISTEN TO THEM!) we're reading Charlie's old fanfiction that she wrote when she was 13/14 years old. It's truly terrible and hopefully hysterical - we thought so anyway. If you want to hear more of this awful fanfiction (why?!) then you can head over to our Patreon where we'll be uploading the rest of this story, plus another of Charlie's stories, and two of Hannah's also! Don't forget to also check out our social media below to see the beautiful fanfiction banners that Charlie created for these.   

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Ep 10 - Philosopher's Stone Film: Daddy's Gone Mad, Hasn't He?!04 Feb 201900:55:08

Welcome to episode 10 (omg) of Goblet of Wine! And now we've finished the first book it's time for the first of our film episodes! In another (this time unplanned) format switch-up, it's the first episode where we aren't drunk. Nope, we're hungover. We *may* have accidentally got too drunk the night before whilst watching the film and had to go to bed early. Oops. But we wanted to get this recorded whilst the memories were fresh, and we definitely didn't want to start drinking at 9am, so here we are unusually sober and horribly hungover. Honestly, this episode is mostly us quoting the film incessantly in exaggerated British accents, fan girling over the cast and over analyising the era accuracy of their hair styles.

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Bonus Ep - Goblet Of Mulled Wine: Charlie Abuses Todd24 Dec 202300:34:47
Ep 9 - Philosopher's Stone Ch16&17: Don't You Open That Trapdoor20 Jan 201901:38:00

Another episode of Goblet of Wine and it's time for the final chapters of Philosopher's Stone! Hasn't time flown! To celebrate Hannah persuades Charlie to do a shot which obvious means chaos ensues, we discuss how Harry is a messy bitch who lives for the drama (we relate) and Charlie gets extremely excited over a show called Trapdoor which, as it's a pop-culture reference, Hannah has no idea about.

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Ep 8 - Philosopher's Stone Ch14&15: The Charlie Weasley Bro Code07 Jan 201900:35:04

Welcome back Wizards! And a happy New Year. We're kicking off the first episode of 2019 by talking about chapters 14 and 15 of Philosopher's Stone (merlins beard we've almost finished book 1!). In these chapters much dragon related hijinx unfolds, resulting in the oh-so-innapropriate but oh-so-Hogwarts punishment of a lovely walk through the forbidden forest, with added dead animals and evil Wizards. We're calling OFSTED.

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Bonus Ep - Goblet of More Mulled Wine: A Very Potter Christmas Quiz24 Dec 201800:55:27

If one festive episode wasn't enough for you, we've brought you a second one! This time with even more drunken merriment (seriously, we're smashed in this) and we're doing everyone's favourite Christmas activity - a quiz! But a Harry Potter festive one. It decends into complete chaos with Neil being verbally roasted at every possible moment, Charlie doing spectacularly badly at the quiz and Hannah alienating every American listener AGAIN. What could be more festive! Merry Christmas lovely listeners.

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