**SEXTEMBER STARTS ON SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 1. DOWNLOAD THE INTIMATELY US APP TO PARTICIPATE**

My hope for you after listening to today's episode is you'll laugh a little, be inspired and gain some practical tools that you can use to improve communication about intimate things in your marriage. 

My guest today is Alyson Bullock, a marriage and family therapist, communication coach, and has a popular Instagram account @relationshipswithaly. 

Today, Alyson and I are going to chat about your questions that will cover topics such as the following:

• How to talk to your spouse about wanting more variety in spice in the bedroom
• How to talk to your spouse if what they want to do with you in the bedroom is a bit too much outside your comfort zone
• How to discuss mismatched sexual desire
• How to address resentments in your marriage, especially when things feel lopsided when it comes to sharing household chores and the mental load of running a home

And we're going to talk about some really fun, practical things to implement in your marriage today!

Resources:

Get Your Marriage On Program

Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October)

Intimately Us App

FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13

Retreat testimonial videos

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

In the thick of raising children or building a career or juggling the many demands that life imposes on us, it's easy for couples to feel like relationship matters have been put to the side. You don't intend for this to happen, of course. It's easy for things to feel so vanilla, routine, or monotonous between you and your spouse.

So how do some couples work through these challenges effectively? I love releasing podcasts episodes like this one, because these guests aren't so-called "experts" that pretend to have everything figured out, they're ordinary men like me and you. They have regular normal challenges; yet, their stories are inspiring because their insights are applicable to everyone.

My guests, Clint and Tony, were part of the latest men's small group coaching program that I run periodically. You'll get to hear all about their experience as well as other special insights that they've gained as a result of participating in this life changing program.

One thing I've learned over the years of doing this work is that men need men. When good men band together, committed to helping each other become better husbands and fathers, great things happen.

Registration is now open for our next cohort for our men's small group coaching program, like the one Tony and Clinton just did. This 12-week program is limited to just 8-10 men, and it starts September 4. The program includes a comprehensive course and coaching to help you apply proven principles in your unique circumstances.

I'm absolutely certain this program is a good fit for you if you're in an otherwise healthy relationship, yet feel like something is missing when it comes to intimacy. You'll definitely uncover what's missing and witness a transformation in yourself over the 12 weeks we meet together. All of these details are here on my website.

By the way we also have an equivalent women's program starting in October, so check back for those details too.

Other Resources:

Get Your Marriage On Program

Intimately Us App

FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13

Retreat testimonial videos

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

I get asked frequently about what to do when you (or your husband) comes too quickly during sex, or has premature ejaculation.  I wanted to do an in-depth episode on this topic to address the many questions that we have because frankly, sex isn't that enjoyable when it's over too quick or you just don't last as long as you'd like to. Even if this is something you don't deal with right now in your marriage, the information in this episode will teach you how to keep your sexual health in tip top shape for your marriage.  

My guest today is Mark Goldberg. He is a sex therapist out of Maryland that specializes in common male sexual dysfunction issues, such as premature ejaculation. You can get more information about overcoming sexual dysfunctions on his website: erectionIQ.com

If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:

Intimately Us App

How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13

Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Normal people have marriage problems. In this episode, I'll introduce to you my three-stage framework to take your marriage and sex life to the NEXT LEVEL! This is something I'm passionate about. I hope you learn something new!

In every marriage, there's a person with a higher desire for sex and a person with a lower desire for sex. What are unhealthy and healthy ways of responding to your spouse's desire level? How can you work together as an intimate team to create a marriage that truly has room for both people, to transition from a "me vs you" to a more intimate "us"?

These are the questions I had on my mind when I met Amy Langford, a certified life coach, mother of 4, and fellow marriage & sex nerd. You're about to hear her story about how she learned to handle herself better in the midst of her husband's pursuit of sexual connection, navigate unwanted pornography use in the marriage, and a way to create space for more sexual desire within yourself, even if you're the one with less desire for sex.

100 podcast episodes for Get Your Marriage On! Wow! What a ride the past couple years have been. 

I've had the privilege of interviewing many sex experts. In many of the episodes, I ask them what black belt sex tips they'd give to a couple in a healthy marriage to help them up the quality of connection and pleasure in the bedroom. 

I've rounded up my favorites from the past 50 episodes (see episode 50 for Black Belt Sex Tips 1.0). This is an episode you're not going to want to miss! 

Ready? Let's go!

Our bodies are absolutely incredible and attest to the marvelous power and intelligence of our great Creator. Our heart beats nearly 100,000 times a day. Our eyes have self-focusing lenses and work in tandem to help us see images in three dimensions. Through our bodies, we can hold loved ones, offer a loving touch, and even participate in creating new life.  Our bodies are the temple of our spirit and the instruments of our hearts and mind. 

Despite the miracle of a body, many people struggle with liking their body or struggle with a body that doesn't function the way they want it to, or just plain 'ol struggling to be confident in their own skin and size. Sometimes this goes on to loathing ourselves in unhealthy ways, affecting our intimate relationships.

Vanessa Oly is my guest today to talk about her journey of learning to love her own body as it is. Her own transformation inspired her to study nutrition, hormones, and fertility. She teaches other women how to embrace who they are and to understand how their body works.

Many of you are in a similar phase of life as we are: raising young children and teenagers, and possibly thinking about having another baby. Conception is an incredible miracle because there are so many moving parts to making it work (no pun intended). 

I had the privilege of meeting with a world-famous fertility doctor, Dr. Allison Rodgers a OB/GYN and Reproductive Endocrinologist. and I'm so happy you get to listen to part of what I learned.

Think about the qualities that make you successful in your career: working hard, being the first to show up and the last to leave, and being an achiever. Sometimes very capable and successful people have a hard time in their intimate relationships. 

What if the same qualities that translate to success in one's career or workplace actually work against you in your intimate relationship?

Rhonda Farr is a certified Life Coach and works with high achievers on their intimate relationships. I got a lot out of this interview and there was a lot I could relate to. I suppose there are many parts that you'll relate to as well.

I used to think that a woman's period was just nature's way of telling you that you're not pregnant. But there's so much more to understanding one's cycle. Did you know that a woman's cycle can be broken down into four phases, and each phase has their own superpower? That understanding your hormones and what they're there for can give you more confidence and energy? And what foods should you eat (and what to avoid) to help support a healthy body and hormone levels? 

Ashlee has personal experience with PMS, debilitating period pain, and infertility is what ultimately set her on a journey to learn more about how food and lifestyle affect hormone health, and eventually creating her signature course, Cycle Strategy 101, as well as Exercise and Hormones, and Cycle Sexcess. As you'll see, Ashlee is passionate about teaching women how to tap into their superpowers by honoring their cyclical rhythms. 

Links mentioned in this podcast episode:

Wild Power

In the Flo

Julva

For most couples, there's a lot of hot passion and excitement during the early dating and engagement time and for a while after the wedding. But over time, we develop routines, scripts, and become habituated to each other. This is normal and serves a good purpose. However, herein lies the challenge: how do you create an intimate marriage with lots of passion long term?

This is the very thing I research, teach, and coach about in my program and at my retreats. And I was a guest on the Redhead Reveal podcast. The host, Jen Pinkerton, is a marriage and family therapist out of Houston, and I had a great conversation with her about navigating intimacy in long term marriages.

And this is the episode that we recorded that I want to release with you today. In this episode, we're going to answer the questions such asthese: Why is it hard to keep sex passionate when you've been married for a long time? What can couples do to create an environment for passion to thrive? What is validation seeking behavior and how does that tend to interfere with a healthy, intimate relationship?

And I think you'll find a lot of other great golden nuggets in this episode!

If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:

Intimately Us App

How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13

Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

Experiencing pain with sex is, unfortunately, all too common for many women. According to one peer-reviewed study I read out of Australia, 20% of women regularly experience pain with sex. Other research suggests that just about every woman at one point in their life will experience pain with sex.

But sex shouldn't be painful. There are tons of resources and therapies out there to make sex better for everyone. 

Today I have as my guest Dr. Rose Schlaff. She's a pelvic floor physical therapist and sex nerd that specializes in helping women enjoy sex and heal from painful sex. In this episode, we do a deep dive into what causes pain with sex, the different types of pain, and what you can do to heal from it to make sex great for you and your spouse.

For more information about Dr. Schlaff visit the following:

Let's get one thing out of the way first — dirty talk isn't dirty. It's actually an intimate form of communication to let your spouse into your heart and mind. It's a way to express the erotic part of you with your lover. It's about using your words to arouse.

The nice thing about married sex is that it's a place you can go where things don't have to be so cleaned up. You can be less formal with each other and use language with each other you wouldn't use in another context – creating more arousal, intimacy and excitement.

If "talking dirty" (and I put that in air quotes) is something you've always found awkward or have no idea where to start, you're in for a treat! This episode with Melanie Studley will hopefully help you and your lover discover a new way to draw closer together and have some sexy fun!

For more information, check out our tasteful, comprehensive, step-by-step guide to increase connection with your spouse through erotic conversations, or "dirty talk." This 40-page guide has something for both brand new, hesitant sexy talkers and those who may be a little more experienced. Use the included worksheets and game suggestions to explore new vocabulary and increase the connection, passion, and fun in your marriage!

@nakedheartcoach

I am so excited to talk about today's topic! 

The idea for this podcast episode was partially inspired by an upcoming podcast episode I'll be releasing in a few weeks. I interviewed an author, GS Youngblood. 

His tip was about how foreplay begins the moment your past sexual encounter ends, and that foreplay should be done throughout the day not immediately before sexual intercourse.

I've thought a lot about foreplay and I have been more intentional about making foreplay great in my marriage. Today I want to share a few ideas that I've learned from my own experience and from others that I admire about meaningful foreplay in sex. 

Now, let's talk about what foreplay is, how to do it right, why some couples may struggle with foreplay, and end with some specific, actionable things you can do right away to make better foreplay an amazing and rewarding part of your marriage.

You're about to meet my guests on today's episode, Zach and Darcy Spafford.  Zach used to struggle with habitual pornography use and Darcy struggled with trying to figure out what to do with her feelings of hurt and mistrust. 

After applying certain tools and committing to serious growth together, they've not only overcome but are now thriving together in their relationship, as you'll see! They now host a podcast titled: The Self Mastery Podcast: Overcome Pornography

Whether or not porn use is part of your story in your marriage, I hope you learn as much as I did from Zach and Darcy's courage and the action they took!

You might also be interested in my Life After Pornography App!

Initiating sex can be a very powerful way to communicate love and desire to your spouse. Initiating is a powerful bid for connection. It's a way of saying, "I want to connect with you." Initiating can be very intimate. And it's very validating to be wanted sexually.

To prepare for this episode, I ran an informal survey of our Instagram followers to get a better idea of what other couples struggle with when it comes to initiating. The answers were enlightening and I saw several patterns in the responses. 

I hope you find this episode just as insightful! Enjoy.

I'm interested in doing a podcast episode primarily for men about understanding intimacy, especially if it wasn't modeled in your home growing up. To be clear, I don't mean "intimacy" as a euphemism for sex. I mean Intimacy as in relational closeness: a willingness to know and be fully known by your spouse.

Many men struggle to get emotionally close to their spouse. They confuse intimacy with sex. They think showing emotion is a sign of weakness (with the exception of anger). I don't know how accurate this is, but I once heard this cliver quip about how men want to penetrate their wives sexually and women want to penetrate their husbands emotionally. Yet so many men have never learned how to let another person into their heart.

Today I interview Dr. Randell Turner, who's done a lot of research and ministry around teaching men intimacy skills. He's got an interesting story that you might relate to as well!

In every marriage, there is a spouse with higher desire for sex and a spouse with lower desire for sex. In this episode, I'll talk about the benefits of being higher or being lower desire.

As the high desire spouse in my marriage, I know what it's like to feel anxious or "needy", and it's not attractive. I'll share some thoughts on what we can do about our anxieties to improve intimacy and connection in our marriages coming from a place of strength rather than weakness. 

For this week's episode, we continue a Q&A session with Jenny Rose about sex and intimacy. Jenny is a family lifestyle influencer. She asked some questions from her audience that I tackle in last week's and this week's episode, such as:

• How do you balance time with yourself and with your spouse when you feel touched out at the end of the day
• How to transition from Mommy mode to Wife mode
• What to do with mismatched sex drives
• Toys, frequency, pregnancy,
• And many more wonderful questions

Let's jump back in where we left off last week.

It's so easy to notice how our spouse is making choices that get in the way of them getting what they really want.  Our brains expend tremendous amount of energy trying to get our spouses to see things our way, because from our vantage point, they're self-sabotaging, right? It's so obvious (to us anyway). 

Of course, our spouses think think the same thing about us. :)

If you or someone you love has ever felt this way, then this podcast episode is for you. We're going to talk about relational self-awareness: what it is, how to get it, and how to build a better relationship with your lover. 

My guest today is Dr. Alexandra Solomon. She is a professor of marriage and family therapy at Northwestern university in Chicago. I recently read one of her books, Love Every Day, and we have a great chat about the principles in her book and those she teaches in her class.

If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:

Intimately Us App

How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13

Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

Today's podcast is for the husbands out there that want to make sex great. There's far more to just the mechanics and geometry of sex to being a good lover. There's romance, creating exciting erotic contexts, sharing mental loads, and much more that go into making love with not just your body but your heart too. 

This might just be my experience as a man, but we men don't get as much helpful education on how to be a good lover. So I'm excited to have Keith Gregoire along with his wife Sheila, author of The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex. I've read this book and it's excellent. Keith and Sheila have been writing about sex in marriage for 10 years, and is respected for her approachable easy-to-relate to, and humorous style towards improving sex in marriage.

Be sure to listen to the very end because I'm giving away copies of their books, The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and revamped The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex. Those details are after our interview.

It's normal to seek validation from our spouse in marriage. By validation I mean to get a sense of our legitimacy as a person and a spouse, such as being told we're sexy enough, pretty enough, and desirable. And it's normal to seek that validation.

But what do you do when you don't feel it? What do you do when you feel like your spouse isn't interested in you romantically or sexually? What about those times you don't feel cherished or respected? 

If you're hoping to feel inspired today, you've come to the right place. Jessica shares how she grew more solid within herself in her circumstances and as a result has found great strength, even in her darkest moments. I think there's something wonderful in her message for everyone to hear! Jessica is a devoted Christian, is married to her sweetheart for over 17 years, and has four children. 

Like most kids, I loved taking on new roles when I'd play with my friends and siblings… whether it was cops and robbers, or ninjas, or race car drivers, there's a creative & playful element to trying on new roles and identities. 

As an adult in a romantic and committed relationship, you can bring that same creativity and playfulness into the bedroom through role play! Many couples role play instinctively to one degree or another as a way to add healthy newness and creative fun to bedroom play.

My wife and I have always been interested in what role play sex is and fortunately, we met Jon and Katie Runyan, who are experts at role play sex and the founders of Faithful Fling.

Whether you're new to the concept of role-playing or have a lot of experience getting into character in your encounters, I'm sure you'll love this episode!

Some couples really struggle with intimacy. And I'm not referring to "intimacy" as a euphemism for sex. I mean their relationship feels superficial and they've run out of "safe" topics they can discuss because all the harder topics make one or both of them anxious and uncomfortable. As a result, the marriage starts to feel a bit empty and unexciting, boring, and routine.

What do you do in situations like this? This is exactly the question I had for Adam and Karissa King. They are a husband-wife duo of therapists & coaches from Elk Grove, California. They have fantastic advice on how to better your communication skills and develop empathy for one another.

I had the privilege of being a guest on Manda Carpentner's podcast called A Longer Table, and wanted to share that interview here because I think the things we discussed are super valuable for you to hear.

In this interview, we talk about a number of topics such as: 

• Purity Culture
• What to do when you feel the need to manage an other's sexuality
• How important is sex, really?
• What is your definition of sex, and does it have to involve intercourse?
• If you're struggling sexually, what advice would give?
• Is scheduling sex a good idea?
• Is it bad to use toys? What about dirty talk?
• Perspectives on how pornography affects marriage

Manda Carpenter is a wife, mother, foster mom, and Christian. I love her podcast, A Longer Table, because she intentionally includes conversations with people that have very different backgrounds, just to get their perspective and to broaden her understanding with people that think differently than she does. I think we could all use a healthy dose of open and honest communication once in a while!

And this topic was all about sex, a topic I'm particularly passionate about :) 

For many individuals, myself included, intercourse can feel very pleasurable. Couples can find deep meaning through intercourse as well: feeling intimate, personal, sweet, and bonding. 

However, intercourse isn't always fireworks for both people. And how can you make intercourse better for both people? 

That's what we want to talk about in today's episode! I learned a lot from this episode and I hope you do too!

Ruth Buezis is a gifted educator that has taught thousands of people how to improve their sex lives from a Christian perspective. She was a guest on this podcast last year (see episode #17) and I've invited her back to teach us more about how to make intercourse amazing!

Feeling shame about our natural sexual urges is more harmful than we think. Clinton and Charity Munoz decided to share their story in hopes of helping others.

A few years into their marriage Clinton's secretive and compulsive use of pornography was distressing to Charity and took their marriage to dark depths. With the help of God and good resources, they've been able to restore their marriage to more than it was before and find new meaning.

I hope you enjoy this podcast episode as much as I did!

Al is from New York, and became a Christian in her early 20s. She's a mother, wife, award-winning motivational speaker, and author of three books, including one about marriage. She's inspired millions of people through her message.

I hope you enjoy this podcast episode!

For a lot of us, we associate the word "eroticism" with something that's distasteful or something that we probably shouldn't want as a Christ-loving people, right? 

We don't go embracing the things we see on Las Vegas billboards, for example. So eroticism to to some is kind of something hard to hear.  Now, this is a concept I teach towards the end of our retreats and my program because there's a lot of groundwork to cover first to understand it. And I understand that we generally don't talk about eroticism because it's very personal.

But whether you believe that the book of Songs of Solomon / The Song of Songs in the Old Testament was inspired by God or just purely, really good Hebrew poetry, we have many examples, even in the Bible, of married couples using their eroticism to create something special within their relationship, something precious. 

And that's the kind of eroticism I want to talk about today. It's the kind that will strengthen your marriage and bring you closer together.

If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:

Intimately Us App

How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13

Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

How does your current marriage dynamic help or hinder intimacy? Are you good at expressing your desires within your marriage? How does growing into your best version of yourself translate into a deeper connection with your spouse? And how can these things contribute to really good sexual experiences?

These are the questions I've had on my mind as I reached out to Eric and Kate MacDougall, founders of Evolved Marriage. They're marriage and relationship coaches, and I hope you learn as much as I did from this conversation.

Talking about sex with your spouse is not easy for most of us. Whether it's about preferences, desire level differences, pornography use, physical difficulties, or a number of issues, many of us find it easier to just resent our spouse rather than see the situation honestly as it is and take responsibility for our role in the matter.

I enjoyed this interview with Amanda Ammons. You'll get to hear us discuss practical and helpful strategies on how to discuss sexual issues with your spouse and how to design the kind of sex life you want for yourself and for your marriage.

You can learn more about Amanda and her work by clicking here.

What if your spouse isn't enthusiastic about the same things you are? I get this question often. Specifically, what to do if your spouse isn't on board with your desires sexually.

I have five thoughts about this that I want to share. There is much more that can be discussed here, as every person's situation is complex, but I hope some of these ideas can help!

This is episode #69, and in honor of everyone's favorite two-digit sexy number, I thought we'd have some fun and do an episode all about oral sex!

The best sex is intimate sex, and if you have the right mindset, oral sex can be very intimate, leading to deep connection and relationship satisfaction. There's something very intimate about opening your heart and letting yourself be known to your special someone in this way.

From a practical standpoint, oral sex is also very pleasurable, which we'll talk about. As Dr. Ian Kerner, an American sex educator, once said, "When it comes to pleasuring a woman, the tongue is mightier than the sword" (and you can probably guess what the sword is).

My friend Amanda Louder returned to join me in this fun discussion today. If you're not familiar with Amanda, she's a certified life coach and coaches women on embracing their sexuality as a part of their wholeness. She's also the host of the Sex For Saints podcast.

The thing that stood out to me the most in this interview you're about to hear is how important it is to focus on being our best selves if we want to fix our marriage. Also how important it is to shed our egos. And when we married, we signed up to love our spouse: meaning, to be their champion and cheerleader, not their critic.

Laura Doyle is The New York Times best-selling author of several books, including The Empowered Wife. She's also the star of the Amazon Prime series Empowered Wives. Her books have been translated into 19 languages and published in 30 countries. Over 15,000 women credit her with not only saving their relationships but also showing them how to become desired, cherished, and adored for life.

She is the founder of Laura Doyle Connect, an international relationship coaching company that teaches women the intimacy skills they need to have passionate, peaceful relationships.

Laura lives in Newport Beach, California with her hilarious husband John Doyle, who has been dressing himself since before she was born. They have been married for over 30 years.

Resources:

Laura Doyle's Website: https://lauradoyle.org/

Passionate marriages require a healthy tension between two forces that paradoxically are at odds with one another: Security which is love and intimacy and Growth which is desire, autonomy, and adventure.

In this episode, I had the privilege of interviewing Alana and Paris from the Kingdom Sexuality Podcast. We discussed how one can navigate love and desire in marriage and cultivate more desire & erotic energy in your relationship.

Alana and Paris have a cool story. They were friends as youth, attended the same church, but each moved away, married, and started a family of their own. About the same time, each of them felt impressed to start a ministry around helping others understand God's design for sex and intimacy. Alana and Paris reconnected and are now best friends, sharing their message of faith and hope. And that's how their podcast Kingdom Sexuality came to be!

Part of being an adult is unlearning the things that no longer serve you, and learning new things that bring richer meaning to your life. 

When it comes to sex, there's a lot that isn't helpful that we can unlearn, and a lot we can learn to bring deeper meaning and joy to our most important intimate relationships. 

I had the pleasure of interviewing Cami Hurst, a talented and passionate certified sex therapist out of Boise Idaho. We talk about how to make sex more "nutritious" and "gourmet" for the couple, why motives (or the why) around improving one's sex life are more important than the "what", and what to do when your spouse has different sexual preferences than you do.

A few years ago, I was sitting around a campfire with other dads, hearing their stories of exciting trips and getaways they've been on with their wives. I was depressed, thinking, "woe is me!" With 6 young kids, and on a budget, all I could think of was reasons why I would never be able to enjoy that kind of an experience.

Fast forward six months later, I was sitting on a beautiful beach in Florida with my wife, just the two of us, enjoying one of the most intimate and romantic moments of our marriage up until that point.

We had experienced a miracle in our marriage. 

Miracles happen, and 2022 can be the year you experience more of them in your life. 

One of the most often-repeated themes in the New Testament is "ask and ye shall receive." In one way or another, that theme is expressed 100 times!

God is a giver of good gifts. He wants to bless us with good things and experiences that give us growth, joy, and hope.

We invite God to help us by identifying clearly our goals, creating a vision, asking, and living with gratitude for everything we receive, both the good and the bad.

It's up to us to desire, ask, work for, and be grateful for the kind of marriage we want. You can have a smoking hot sex life as you put this process to work in your life.

The quickest way to improve your relationship with your spouse is to first work on yourself. However, working on ourselves can be hard. Participating in a high-quality group coaching program can often be just the thing to get you going in the right direction.

Last week we shared an inspiring story from Mark and Mindy. This week I have two inspiring guests, Tom and Jeff.

Tom and Jeff were part of the last cohort for my Men's Intimacy & Desire coaching program. Both Tom and Jeff are successful in their careers and have seen quite a bit of success in their marriages too. 

In this interview, I ask them what they learned from the coaching program they wish to share with others. My biggest hope is everyone that who listens to this episode walks away inspired, filled with hope. I love this interview because Tom and Jeff are real, raw, and unabashed in sharing the transformation they experienced over the last three weeks.

In case you're interested, the next cohort for my coaching program starts on January 19, 2022. There are only a dozen seats available and as of this recording, several have been taken. You'll find the details on my website at getyourmarriageon.com

In today's podcast, you'll have the privilege of meeting one of my favorite couples on the planet, Mark and his wife Mindy! Mark was in my most recent Men's coaching cohort. Six months ago Mark and Mindy were on the brink of divorce after 25 years of marriage. However, they have worked really hard and with God's help, and a little bit of effective coaching, they had grown a lot in a short time.

I'm excited for you to hear their story!

If you're interested, the next cohort for my coaching program starts on January 19th, 2022. There are only a dozen seats available and as of this recording, several have been taken. You'll find the details on my website at getyourmarriageon.com

Did you know that most couples that visit traditional sex therapy have very poor outcomes? They're still just as dissatisfied two years later as they were before therapy. 

Now this insight is particularly striking to me. I think this happens because conventional sex therapy has a primary focus on the individual genitals and sexual dysfunction; there isn't a lot of focus on sex in the context of a marriage relationship. 

I believe that both partners co-create their dynamic in the marriage. And thus, both people contribute to the challenges that they face in their relationship. 

In my experience, sexual struggles are actually symptomatic of deeper issues within the relationship. Recognizing the shift from the focus of merely trying to fix the sex to understanding and nurturing the entire relationship is really important. 

My guest today is Rhonda Farr. She is an intimacy coach and a personal friend of mine. In today's interview, you're going to hear about the time when a person asked her for sex while on an airplane. 😱 You'll get to hear her thoughts and why high achievers struggle in intimacy and in their marriage. 

You'll also hear us role-play what a conversation might look like when addressing sexual desire difference concerns between a husband and a  wife. Learn about how to 

If you've enjoyed this episode, you might like these resources:

Intimately Us App

How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less

Next Level Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, July 12-13

Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13

You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

I hope you've enjoyed the slight change of pace over the last couple of episodes. Rather than interviewing professionals, I want to share stories from real ordinary couples about how they've transformed their marriages into something extraordinary. Their stories are real, raw, vulnerable, and inspiring. 

This is our third and final "Sextimony" episode in our three-part Sextimony series, where we're sharing stories from ordinary couples about how they've transformed their marriages and found great joy and connection from a satisfying sex life. 

Maegan and her husband Sam have been married for over 10 years. You'll get to hear Maegan's inspiring story of overcoming unwanted pornography use, how a disappointing honeymoon lead to her speaking up more for her desires, how oral sex has helped her connect with her husband and led her to be more adventurous and confident, how honest improvement in her sex life has led her to a stronger faith in God, and how being playful in the bedroom leads to great sex.

*Please Note: Starting Friday, December 31st our podcasts will be released on Friday mornings. 

I've personally gained a lot from courageous couples opening up to me, in appropriate ways, how they've found deeper connection and joy in their sex lives. I want to share stories from real ordinary couples about how they've transformed their marriages into something extraordinary. Their stories are real, raw, vulnerable, and inspiring. These four couples talk about mindset shifts that lead them to better sex. We'll call this a "Sextimony" series!

This is our second installment in our four-part Sextimony series. Our guests today are Faith and Brennan West. They're such a great couple, as you'll soon find out :) I'm grateful they've been willing to share their story of overcoming the baby blues, gaining confidence in the bedroom, how the Intimately Us app helped them find excitement and connection in the bedroom, and how they're better connected to each other.

I'd like to be part of changing the stigma around talking about elevating sex in marriage. I've personally gained a lot from courageous couples opening up to me, in an appropriate way, how they've found deeper connection and joy in their sex lives. So far in this podcast, we've generally interviewed experts in marriage or sex-related careers to one degree or another.

I want to switch gears for the next three episodes. Rather than learn from professionals, I want to share stories from real ordinary couples about how they've transformed their marriages into something extraordinary. Their stories are real, raw, vulnerable, and inspiring. These three couples talk about mindset shifts that lead them to better sex. We'll call this a "Sextimony" series!

Our first "Sextimony" is from Sharon Williams. She talks about shifts that helped her realize she can be in charge of her pleasure and how it's changed sex from a chore to something she absolutely looks forward to. Be sure to read her award winning essay called "Bridging the Orgasm Gap" which captures her journey of learning how to get what she wants in the bedroom. Since our interview, I read her free downloadable ebook called "10 Tips for Bridging Your Orgasm Gap" and can recommend it to you too. You can find both on her website.