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Joe captained Bruno Fernandes as a differential, banked 111, and has been insufferable ever since. Josh finally got his bench boost to work and still lost the weekend to a single game. Jake scored 78, three below average, and somehow feels worse than both.

You've got to love FPL.

One week in and Josh has already missed a deadline and failed to pull the trigger on his bench boost, so just the small matter of Rogers and 18 points down the pan.

There was so much pre-season optimism, but Josh and Joe already sound about ready to quit. Jake is sitting pretty at the top of the league but even he's ruing those Kayode points sitting on his bench.

It can't go on like this can it...?

Last episode we said none of these teams would survive the week. They didn't. We set a rule that whoever changed the fewest players wins. The lowest score was ten.

Teams locked, deadline Friday, and everything we said in episode two now worthless.

One rule: fewest changes from your original squad wins. Nobody came close. One of us rebuilt his entire squad four hours before recording and finalised it thirty minutes before we hit record. One of us looks like he picked his team based on things his brothers said on this podcast. And only one of us has gone for Bruno...

Then we call our shots before a ball is kicked: what's going to ruin this weekend, who'll be first to send the premature celebration text, and which one of us is quietly pricing up the bus to Hull.

How do you build a squad that's well set to frustrate? Three brothers, three different approaches but one overriding conclusion: none of these squads will be in place come the deadline. And casual Jake is being anything but casual about pre-season... could this be the year he breaks into the top 500k?

Three brothers, one mini-league, and a season's worth of bragging rights on the line. Before a ball is kicked, we introduce ourselves properly: our FPL histories, our best and worst ever finishes, and the forfeit waiting for whoever finishes bottom.