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A tournament straight from the mind of Gianni Infantino is (predictably) a bit of a mess – but is the Club World Cup a totally lost cause, or is there a version of it that might actually work?

Pete tells Marcus and Luke why the whole thing reminds him of the bizarre new Sprite and tea combo. Plus, what are the player and club pairings we wish had happened? Come join us to find out!

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Find us on Bluesky, X, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.

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The Brazilian sides cannot be stopped at this Club World Cup thing. Flamengo dispatched Chelsea (while Nicolas Jackson dispatched himself) and who knows what a completely commando Alex Barboza will do next?

Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete analyse the weekend's action and sadly wave goodbye to Ulsan Ultra 4k and those brave boys from Auckland City. If only Pete could get his hands on some kind of commemorative plate to remember them by. Or an oil painting to go up in his local school? Either will do.

Plus, Southgate gets rejected by Poland (slugs) and Santi Cazorla continues to restore our faith in football!

If you want to see David Moyes' Kremlin doppelgänger, here he is.

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That's right! Luke's Game has been restored to its former glory for the summer of 2025.The rules are simple: can you name more clubs a footballer has played for than your opponent?

This week Luke is up against Marcus, with Pete officially appointed by PUGMOL as referee. Who's got that fire in their belly and their head frozen solid? Let's find out!

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These long summer days. They’re just made for throwing a ball in the backyard with, say, I don’t know... Brad Friedel, aren’t they?

Marcus, Luke and Pete haven’t left the studio since Wednesday and it’s just been wall-to-wall Club World Cup throughout: Botafogo beat PSG, Al-Hilal drew with Real Madrid and targeted Trent Alexander-Arnold, and... what? Donald Trump started talking about going to war with the Juventus squad stood behind him in the Oval Office? To quote Kevin De Bruyne: we don’t know the rules anymore.

Come join us for all that and much more!

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Today's episode is a special teaser of what you can expect every week on the Football Ramble Patreon!

For just $5 a month, you'll get an extended version of every Wednesday episode of the Ramble! It's called Ramble Uncut and it's all the stuff we would be talking about if football wasn't always getting in the way. You'll also hear from fellow Patreon subscribers and receive exclusive insight into what's going on in Pete's garden shed. Oh, and you'll get EVERY Ramble completely ad-free, delivered straight to your podcast app. What's not to like? 

Just head to patreon.com/footballramble to subscribe now!

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The Club World Cup might not be quite tickling our fancy at the moment, but it has meant a new Pitbull song. It’s a remix. And it might have been made in 10 minutes. What’s not to love?

But before you stick that on, get a load of Marcus, Luke and Pete, who celebrate Sergio Ramos’ glorious header, Boca Juniors' incredible fans and Fluminense’s 44-year-old keeper (guys, it’s a ‘slightly wee your trousers’ summer).

Plus, Marcus makes the mistake of asking Pete: what would you do to Pep Guardiola in a lucid dream? Oh no...

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With increasing scrutiny placed on the likes of Saudi Arabia, Qatar and even the United States, we wonder which countries could viably host a World Cup without any of the political or social controversies that have marred recent editions. Is that even possible?

Marcus, Jim and Vish also return to our ‘defining figures of the decade’ discourse, turning our attentions to managers this time. Plus: our favourite commentary teams, goalkeepers playing outfield and Premier League managers joining the Ramble!

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Never mind freed from desire, can we be freed from... this?

The Club World Cup is underway and Marcus, Jim and Vish are here to give it the serious, sage analysis it deserves. Like, did iShowSpeed really tell Sergio Agüero how to do a crossbar challenge?

The conditions have obviously already us worried about England next summer, but the goals (and the Can Can music) were flowing for Bayern Munich against unfortunate underdogs Auckland City. Plus, in chaotic developments that we can definitely get behind, Gennaro Gattuso is the new manager of Italy! But will it be rarely good, mostly s**t?

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Zidane and Ronaldo in the 2000s. Messi and Ronaldo in the 2010s. But who’s going to define this decade of world football? Marcus, Jim and Andy run through the contenders, from Kylian Mbappe and Lamine Yamal to future four-time Champions League winner Scott McTominay.

We also have a cracking discussion about who could succeed Harry Kane as England captain. Has Declan Rice emerged as the favourite? And does Jude Bellingham’s fiery character hurt his chances? Elsewhere, which manager will turn perceptions around next year and what’s the best signature celebration in football history? Apart from Speller at Old Trafford, obviously.

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18 years of this daft little podcast. All of it - every last episode - has been for this day to arrive: the fully-formed, gloriously-conceived FIFA Club World Cup!

Marcus, Andy, Jim and Pete cast their eyes over the tournament and - shockingly - Pete declares that he's excited. Chris Martin has 'fixed' him, to be fair.

Plus, el grande rato speaks Spanish and looks at a trophy at his Real Madrid unveiling, while Santi Cazorla wins our hearts and minds and there's concern about the orientation of new Spurs manager Thomas Frank's eyes. Join us!

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There are just 364 days until the World Cup kicks off in the Azteca Stadium. It's a good job there's nothing else overshadowing it this time...

Marcus, Jim & Vish assess the the runners and riders for the competition in one year's time, and take a look at how England are shaping up twelve months from the tournament.

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Turns out Thomas Tuchel is the bravest boy of all. A 4-4-2 tribute act, even when it doesn’t suit this team or opposition? RULE BRITANNIA!

Seriously though, what on Earth was that? Marcus, Jim and Vish try to work out what Tuchel’s plan is after a humbling defeat to an excellent Senegal side, as several England players did themselves no favours. Plus, Crystal Palace and Lyon play out the final scene from Reservoir Dogs, there’s transfers aplenty in Manchester and we somehow find ourselves in the pocket of Big Tuna.

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We all remember Jesse Marsch looking a little out of his depth while guiding Leeds United towards Premier League relegation. Well, it seems you can't keep a good man down. Now manager of Canada, he's made some extraordinary suggestions about a potential poisoning of his players.

But before that, Marcus, Jim, Pete & Vish discuss Spurs' sacking of Ange Postecoglou with Thomas Frank set to replace him. Poor Alfie Whiteman's had to hand over his big screen. Plus, an England vs Senegal preview!

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Portugal have lifted the Nations League once more! Bobby Martínez's boys edged it on penalties in a fighting performance that well and truly puts them in the mix for next summer.

Marcus, Vish, Pete and Jim react to that – and England's definitely convincing not at all worrying 1-0 win over Andorra. Elsewhere, it was Slicker by name, not by nature, for Scotland in their 3-1 defeat to Iceland – but on the upside, at least they haven't got David Raya between the sticks. Plus, Jim reveals what he really thinks about Robbie Williams and Pete really wants to visit a poisonous garden. 

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Not everyone can be a headline grabber. While the usual suspects have lapped up the plaudits, some have been quietly brilliant in the background – so how about we put them in the Ramble sun?

Marcus, Andy & Vish offer up their unsung heroes! Plus, could Chelsea emerge as the 'little horse' for the Premier League title next season? And if we could switch any result in football history, what would we pick? A bit of extra time in this year's Europa League final anyone? Nope, thought not...

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Vindication – at last – for Marcus Speller and the Nations League! Spain and France had a nine-goal punch-up last night and what can only be described as an incredibly post-season number of shots (40).

Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish discuss the game and turn their eyes to England's meeting with Andorra tomorrow, who – incidentally – are perhaps the only team in world football who might miss out on qualifying for next summer's 6-week long World Cup (more on that). We also hear about Gianni Infantino using himself as a number nine and narrow down the exact definition of Russell Martin's 'gothball'.

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It was another defeat on home soil for Germany and their moustachioed detective Julian Nagelsmann. This time, in the biggest competition of all...

Marcus and Luke jump on the mics after a thrilling (well, at least for one man) start to the finals of the Nations League which featured some inspired Bobby Martinez substitutions and what can only be described as a confusingly functional Cristiano Ronaldo up top. Come join us!

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**SPOILERS: If you haven't yet listened to yesterday's Jack's Encyclopaedia title decider, go check it out! The start of this episode contains spoilers and rumboggery...**

Marcus, Vish, Pete and INTERPOL's most-wanted Jim Campbell discuss Crystal Palace's UEFA dilemma which might require them to just start an entirely new European trophy.

Meanwhile, Manchester City might have just signed the next İlkay Gündoğan as their retail therapy continues – but there's also huge news for their red neighbours. Plus, the Nations League returns tonight! We're all excited for that, aren't we? AREN'T WE?!

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It’s all come down to this, ladies and gents. The grand finale of the greatest quiz in football podcasting!

It’s an opportunity for Marcus, Luke or Vish to write themselves into Football Ramble folklore. To become a legend. To prove their worth. To take home the coveted Jack’s Encyclopaedia trophy. It’s all on the line.

Let’s be having you!

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Low-scoring Inter win, was it? … Wait, what?

Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete recap a truly glorious PSG performance that was basically the emotional equivalent of watching your dad getting beaten up by a runaway freight train. But the performance of the night? Clive Tyldesley seamlessly shepherding IShowSpeed into touch. Class is permanent.

After this elaborate warm-up act, we unveil your definitive guide to the biggest prize in sport: the FIFA Club World Cup aka The Gianni Infantino Invitational. Nonsensical qualifying criteria, clumsy financial meddling and boldfaced cronyism: it’s all here! Plus, we get a seismic Carabao update and Oldham Athletic win a chaotic National League play-off final!

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All is not well in the Manchester United camp and now Bruno Fernandes could be on his way out of the club. Could they really be sliding towards a proper relegation battle next season?

Marcus, Luke & Andy debate that, plus should the Premier League be reduced to 18 teams? And is it time for Daniel Levy give big Ange the boot?

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It's time for Inter's chiselled old warriors to do battle with PSG's whippersnappers. But first of all everyone, here's Linkin Park with "the sights and sounds of the Champions League"! Oh joy.

Marcus, Luke, Jim and Andy give their music opinions and some football opinions ahead of the Champions League final – plus there's more reflections on Chelsea's Conference League win, respect for Chris Wood's Official Ramble trophy, and the news that Bruno Fernandes wants to leave Manchester United. That Asia tour isn't going too well either...

Plus, the lineal belt is on the line in Jack's Encyclopaedia!

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It was all going so well for Manuel Pellegrini and his band of merry former Premier League men. Isco was stroking the ball around midfield. Chelsea's youngsters were charging around to no avail. And Alan Pardew was shaking his fist at his telly.

But then Cole Palmer decided that was enough. Pete and Andy look back on Chelsea's Europa Conference League triumph, which featured a Palmer masterclass, the heaviest touch you will ever see, and an extraordinary haircut which Pete will be copying for the next Ramble Live tour. Come join us!

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The Prem might be over, but Aston Villa are not letting up in their pursuit of justice following the howler referee Thomas Bramall made against Morgan Rogers at the weekend.

Luke tells Marcus, Jim & Pete why he would have given the game to a more experienced referee (ahem David Coote) while Pete compares Manchester United to a vacuum box.

And we get an update from Gianni Infantino in... IShowSpeed's bedroom? Nothing weird about that.

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It’s that time of the season again, ladies and gents! The one where we dig out the predictions we made back in August and find out just how little actually played out the way we thought it would.

Marcus, Luke, Pete & Vish are here to look back at the 2024/25 Premier League season through the lens of optimism, gut instinct, and the very occasional spot-on call.

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Goodbye 2024/25 Premier League, it was real. Hello Manchester United post-season tour in Malaysia!

Marcus, Luke, Pete and Vish look back on the final day, which had lots of permutations but - for Aston Villa - ended up being decided by two quite simple things: Emi Martinez losing his mind and the referee losing his, too.

Elsewhere, Nuno Espirito Santo will face the wrath of Marinakis as Nottingham Forest miss out on the Champions League and there's an emotional farewell for Trent Alexander-Arnold at Anfield after Jürgen Klopp spanks the boo boys. Plus, Spurs' confusing season has a fittingly confusing end! But you can shut it, alright mate?

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Tottenham have only gone and done it! 17 years later, there’s a new addition to the trophy cabinet. Meanwhile, Arsenal are patting themselves on the back for finishing as runners-up in the Premier League and giving the Champions League a proper run. But who’s really had the better season?

Marcus, Luke & Jim wade into that diplomatic minefield - plus, was Thomas Tuchel right to recall the Saudi Pro League’s very own Ivan Toney to the England squad?

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Well, congratulations everyone, we’ve made it: the final weekend of the Premier League season is here. Marcus, Luke and Jim are here to answer the league's only remaining question: would you rather be stuck in a lift with Nathan Jones or Alan Pardew?

We do find time to preview the race for European places, with so many permutations it’s like a scene from the third Matrix film. Plus we look ahead to the biggest game in English football and Ivan Toney’s back in the England squad. Wait, what?!

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Tottenham Hotspur have won the Europa League. Yep, you read that right. And don't say Ange Postecoglou didn't tell ya!

Marcus and Jim react off the back of a (let's be honest) rather scrappy Europa League final. But it's a year of ending trophy droughts, so what might that mean for England next summer? Now we're talking.

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Marcus, Jim, Andy and Pete look ahead to a truly seismic Europa League final between Man United and Spurs, which boils down to two bald men fighting to the death over a £100m comb.

Before that though, we’ve got a couple of last night’s victory laps from Kevin De Bruyne and Crystal Palace to pore over - it seems Omar Marmoush has gladly took up the “smash bangers in from thirty yards” mantle. Plus, Ian Rush’s new AI musical about his legal troubles means Pete has *finally* had enough of the internet. God help us all.

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Football football football dum dum dum. Now you go, Harry!

Marcus, Pete and Vish review Harry Kane's sped-up rendition of Sweet Caroline at Bayern's trophy parade. It went about as well as you'd expect.

Elsewhere, there's the small matter of Arsenal securing Champions League football. But how do they avoid second place again next season? Vish thinks there's only one answer. Plus, after José Mourinho gets an almighty mugging off in Turkey, Marcus hatches a revenge plan involving one Jamie Richard Vardy...

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My giddy aunt. Oli Glasner and his boys have bloomin' well done it, even if they do have the referee to thank. Never a red, eh?

Marcus, Vish & Pete break down what was an astonishing FA Cup final, and give credit to a tiny magician for sprinkling that magic on the Wembley turf.

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It’s FA Cup final day, ladies and gents. And what an opportunity for Oli Glasner’s men! If Crystal Palace pull it off - and let’s face it, the neutrals are all in - where would it rank among the greatest underdog triumphs in football history?

Marcus, Luke & Andy dig into that - plus, who should Chelsea target to fix their goal drought and which ageing star do we most want to see make a Premier League move this summer?

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Can Crystal Palace cap off their impressive season with a historic cup win? Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pete wonder if the stars may just be aligning for Glasner’s Gang. Plus, can Pep Guardiola resist the urge to deploy some mad cup final tactics and play Kevin de Bruyne at left-back? Or will the lawyers pitch up on the Wembley touchline and deliver the verdict on those 115 charges two minutes before kick-off?

There are some Premier League games worth a glance, too - Everton will play their final men’s game at the iconic Goodison Park and Chelsea will hope to cash in their Man United voucher tonight. Oh, and we try to help John Carver get above a serial killer in the Google rankings after an impressive few months in Poland. Just part of the public service we provide.

There are a handful of tickets still available for our London live show tomorrow night! Get yours now: https://footballramblelive.com.

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Tell you what, there’s nothing quite like playoff limbs™ - even if Sunderland’s Dan Ballard struggled to get his shirt off after netting a 120th minute-winner. Marcus, Jim, Luke and Vish check in with the latest after another dramatic night in the Championship!

We also celebrate the best collab we’ve seen in modern football: Brazil x Carlo Ancelotti - but why now? And will he be a success? Plus, Jose Mourinho’s reign of terror continues, Wayne Lineker pushes Arne Slot’s classy demeanour to breaking point and don’t worry, Man United fans: Sir Jim’s having a BBQ!  

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Did somebody call for a Tuesday treat? European finalists Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester United continued to provide us with performances worthy of a European trophy as they fell to home defeats against Crystal Palace and - checks notes - West Ham United - respectively.

Marcus, Jim, Pete & Vish dig into that and celebrate Fulham finally opening their swimming pool! Marcus is still waiting for his invite...

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We’re in Glasgow! Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete retreat to their man cave to discuss one of the busiest football weekends we’ve had in quite a while - but not before we rate some of Newcastle’s legendary nightlife spots from our weekend jolly.

It turns out we weren’t the only show in town this weekend after Newcastle pushed Chelsea aside, and Arsenal were spurred on by Trent Alexander-Arnold getting booed at Anfield. Turns out you can indeed walk alone.

Plus, we get through an array of bicycle kicks, from the heights of MLS to a listener concussing himself and breaking a few ribs in his back garden.

Our live tour is happening THIS WEEK! Get your tickets now before it's too late: https://footballramblelive.com.

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Marcus, Luke and Andy wave Tottenham and Man United into the Europa League final with a simple question: does the fact that one of these basket cases will qualify for the Champions League make a mockery of the Europa League? And what needs to be done to address the imbalance in the Conference League?  

Elsewhere, we explore the unique reasons behind players becoming club legends and after a certain humdinger earlier this week, we try to work out the ingredients for a perfect game of football. Plus, could Nottingham Forest’s unique brand of football suit them in a potential European campaign? 

Our live tour is happening THIS WEEK! Get your tickets now before it's too late: https://footballramblelive.com.

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Well, would you look at that - Gareth Southgate’s version of Manchester United made it to the Europa League final, where they’ll face Ange’s boys after their own unusually composed performance.

Marcus, Vish, Jim and Pete pick through that confusing conclusion and look ahead to some spicy weekend action on today’s blockbuster Preview Show! We wonder if Newcastle can get the job done against Chelsea, welcome in the Championship play-offs and plot the rest of Kevin De Bruyne’s career as he transitions from silky Brentford midfielder to setting up a bakery.

Our live tour is happening THIS WEEK! Get your tickets now before it's too late: https://footballramblelive.com.

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Marcus and Luke bid farewell to Arsenal’s Champions League challenge after a game that summed up their entire season: impressive and eye-catching in places, but missing that final... oomph. 

Speaking of oomph, the lads praise a deadly PSG performance and wonder if they’ll finally reach the top of their mountain, 13 years after they begun the climb. Just Inter to overcome now, lads… 

Our tour starts THIS WEEK! Get your tickets now before it's too late: https://footballramblelive.com.

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My giddy aunt, that was quite the spectacle last night. A thirteen-goal thriller across the two legs?! That’s what football do to ya.

Marcus, Luke, Andy & Vish are here to ponder on what might be the greatest two-legged game in football history. Plus, Luke explains why it's okay for Trent Alexander-Arnold to want a move to a bigger rat ball, Andy offers a 90s reference that even catches Marcus out, and we look ahead to Arsenal’s date with destiny.

Our tour starts THIS WEEK! Get your tickets now before it's too late: https://footballramblelive.com.

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Pete stops burning his Trent Alexander-Arnold shirt long enough to join Andy and recap a weird stalemate between Nottingham Forest’s mildly stoppable force and Crystal Palace largely movable object.

They do find time to enjoy more sparkling Eberechi Eze form - even after he was seen moonlighting as a chess grandmaster over the weekend - and wonder where both he and Morgan Gibbs-White could end up this summer. In typical fashion for two talented English midfielders, it looks like one will need to stay while the other goes. 

Our tour starts THIS WEEK! Get your tickets now before it's too late: https://footballramblelive.com.

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Marcus, Luke and Pete jump into the studio after Arsenal’s latest wobble, which could condemn them to third place in what's been a two-horse Premier League title race. Never mind, PSG this week lads! 

Elsewhere, Man United do another lol and can we attribute Cole Palmer’s great performance to Chelsea’s new relationship with a Dubai-based property developer? Their press release certainly says so. Plus, the Basildon Bond (Harry Kane) won his first trophy, the Championship played out a chaotic final day and Jamie Vardy kicked off his refereeing career in style. Bank Holiday Banter aplenty! 

Our tour starts THIS WEEK! Get your tickets now before it's too late: https://footballramblelive.com.

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Arne Slot and his merry men got the title over the line, but how does his (and his pal Jürgen Klopp’s) Liverpool rank among the Premier League title-winning sides of old? That’s the nice, uncontentious topic Marcus, Pete & Vish are discussing today. Gulp...

Plus, after Jonás Gutiérrez was spotted busking in Newcastle city centre, who makes our garage band of rock-and-roll footballers?

Our tour starts NEXT WEEK! Get your tickets now before it's too late: https://footballramblelive.com.

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Enjoy your chilled wine and nice food, but leave the football to us lads.

The words of Vithushan Ehantharajah, who can - AT LAST - bask in his smugness this season after another impressive Man United performance in Europe. Marcus, Pete and Andy join Vish to hail Harry Maguire's transformation into prime Cafu.

Elsewhere, Spurs win but Andy explains why the Bodø/Glimt upset is very much alive. Plus, Cole Palmer's heavy breathing blows his cover and Pete Donaldson promises to print all of you a Europa Conference League winners medal. If you come to Football Ramble: Time Tunnel, of course.

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Pete and Andy catch their breath after a truly unhinged Champions League semi-final between Barcelona and Inter - and guess who was strutting his stuff in the middle of it all? That’s right, the dapper of royals himself, Lamine Yamal.

Andy explains why Yamal is better than Messi was at 17, but also why he both loves and questions Hansi Flick’s kamikaze tactics. Plus, after UEFA’s Instagram gets hacked, Pete gets all nostalgic for hackers in the noughties. Come join us!

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Did you see that first 20 minutes from PSG last night? Bloody Nora. Marcus, Luke, Vish and Jim - fresh from the Emirates - react to PSG's dominant display against Arsenal and their tiny but somehow unstoppable midfield. Can Arsenal turn things around? Not with tifos like that, they can't...

Elsewhere, Brazil press their big Carlo Ancelotti button who's primed and ready to join Fizzer in his Speedos on the Copacabana.

We also set fire to our reputation in Glasgow... but at least we'll have our new line of artisan Pope smoke bacon to keep us going. See you on May 12th, Glaswegian Ramblers!

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Jimmy Campbell, are you quaking in your boots? Luis Enrique's PSG are coming to town. They've already taken the heads of Liverpool and Aston Villa. How can the Gunners put a halt to the English batterings?

Jim tells Marcus and Luke why he's expecting a very different game to their previous meeting in October.

Elsewhere, the mighty National League South title race is decided and a Honda Jazz gets lost in a football stadium...

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Liverpool have done it! They’ve won the Premier League and their 20th top flight title. It’s party time on the red side of Merseyside.

Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete look back on Liverpool’s incredible season and the surprisingly chill Dutchman at the heart of it all.

Meanwhile, Crystal Palace’s remarkable display at Wembley gets us head-clapping and Man City fans show their lawyers how to do the poznan. Plus, Real Madrid have been Galactico w***ers again.

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Welcome back to the Premier League, Leeds and Burnley! So nice of you to join us for the year...

Seriously though, with the gap between the Premier League and the Championship bigger than ever, what can the promoted sides do to extend their stay in the Premier League?

Marcus, Luke & Pete give their thoughts on that, plus does Jamie Vardy regret turning Arsenal down back in 2016?

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