🥩🔥🍎 chi SPACCA: The Perfect 10 on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity 🍎🔥🥩

This week, I finally crown my very first perfect restaurant: chi SPACCA, the Italian butcher by Nancy Silverton and the best dining experience of my life. On Valentine's Day 2023, I discovered what true excellence tastes like, from cozy, candlelit vibes and flawless service to indulgent bites of steak, marrow, and candied apple pie. It was decadent, joyful, and unforgettable… even if our server's beef & bone marrow pot pie presentation went a little sideways.

🥔 Onion Rings & Mashed Potatoes That Redefine "Sides"
🥩 Beef & Bone Marrow Pot Pie: Messy, Beautiful, Delicious
🥬 Salanova Lettuce Salad with Lemon Vinaigrette = Good for a Salad...
🍖 Bistecca alla Fiorentina: Dry-Aged Steak of the Gods
👩‍🍳 Cozy Vibes and a View of the Chefs at Work
🍎 A Whole Candied Apple Baked Inside a Pie (Yes, Really)
🌹 Valentine's Day 2023: A Meal I'll Never Forget
⭐ Reading Only 5-Star Reviews in Yelp from Strangers
🏆 The First-Ever Perfect 10.00 on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity

💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's the best meal you've ever had in your life?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast
💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4
🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast
🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

Patreon Subscribers: David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Travis Langley

Free Patreon Followers: Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Michelle Elmer, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, & Aaron Hubbard

👉 NEXT WEEK: We've got to balance the scales, so I'll be going to the worst restaurant I've ever dined at and crowning a 0.00 on the bottom end of the Tchotchke of Mediocrity.

🎩🍟💰 McDonald's Monopoly: History, Scandal, and Astronomically Bad Odds💰🍟🎩

This week, we peel back the golden arches on one of the biggest promotions in fast-food history: McDonald's Monopoly. From the McMillions scandal that rocked the 2000s to the shocking odds that make the Powerball look generous, this episode dives deep into the strange world where fries meet finance. We explore the sweepstakes mechanics, the global variations, and the jaw-dropping aftermath of McDonald's paying out on a possibly fraudulent million-dollar game piece sent to St. Jude's.

🎲 The Wild Origins of McDonald's Monopoly
🕵️‍♂️ The McMillions Scandal That Changed Everything
📉 Why the $10,000 Lowe's Prize Is 9x Harder to Win Than Powerball
🏦 How McDonald's and Hasbro Both Profit from the Partnership
🇨🇦 The Game's Unique Twists in Canada and the UK
📜 Sweepstakes vs. Lottery: What the Law Actually Says
💸 McDonald's Randomly Paying Diners After the Scandal
🍟 The Most Unrealistic Odds You've Ever Heard

💬 COMMENT BELOW: Have you ever won anything more than food from McDonald's Monopoly?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast
💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4
🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast
🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

Patreon Subscribers: David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Travis Langley

Free Patreon Followers: Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Michelle Elmer, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, & Aaron Hubbard

👉 NEXT WEEK: I cover chi SPACCA, the Italian butcher by Nancy Silverton — and quite possibly the best meal of my life.

🍕 Gino's East of Chicago: Graffiti, Deep Dish, & Biscuit Crust 🧱

This week, we take a bite out of the legacy of Gino's East of Chicago — a deep dish pizza joint started by cabbies and made famous by its buttery biscuit crust and graffiti-covered walls. With a flavor profile heavy on cornmeal and sausage (sometimes too much sausage), it's one of Chicago's big four pizza spots — but is it the GOAT?

Joining me is actor and comedian Jacquis Neal (Dropout, Last Week Tonight) as we dig into this crusty cornerstone of Chicago culture, debate sausage autonomy, and marvel at how many cab drivers it used to take to buy property.

Plus, Jacquis pitches his dream soul food/Chicago fusion restaurant, and we read some absolutely wild Yelp reviews — one featuring a "phat boi" pizza and another featuring a man's descent into customer service madness.

🏙️ Born from Taxi Drivers with a Building They Didn't Know What to Do With
🧀 Biscuit Techniques & the Quest for Sausage Autonomy
🎨 A Deep Discussion on the Urge to Graffiti Bathrooms
📍 From Mag Mile to LA to Singapore
📦 Frozen Pizzas, Flopped Franchises, & a Surprise Comeback
🍕 Deep Dish vs. Tavern Style vs. NY Slice: The Ultimate Pizza Debate
🎶 A Soul Food Spot with Yacht Rock Vibes (Jacquis's Dream Restaurant)
🌟 Yelp Reviews That Involve Slithering Pizza & An Argument with the "Manager "

💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's your go-to Chicago pizza joint — and how much cheese is too much?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast
💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4
🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast
🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast
🎤 Jacquis on IG: @jacquisneal | Website: jacquisneal.com

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: We dig into our actual meal at Gino's East. Did Michael's cheese phobia survive? Or did deep dish change his life forever?

"Fine" Dining is back to weekly releases!

• The Melting Pot is in the midst of a renaissance, with ambitious expansion goals
• Michael details the changes moving into the new season
• Learn about the history of the franchise in Eat Deets (fka Resty Fact Round-Up)
• Guest host Rhyan Schwartz gives Michael someone to eat all the cheese that our host refuses to touch
• Michael rebrands cheese to ch**se
• Harrison Augustine 💸 Arrylius the XIV shares his wealth of knowledge to give The Melting Pot advice on their wall art
• The Melting Pot is sending mixed signals to platonic friends
• A battle between servers has Michael & Rhyan asking What's Going On Over There?
• Panic sets in as the stress involved with timing your meat-cooking is Way Too Much
• The most patriotic 5-star Yelp review ever in this week's Yelp from Strangers
• Stay tuned to the very end...there may or may not be a post-credits scene

Additional Voice Actors: Jessa Day

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose

"Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (October's episode explored Dave's Hot Chicken), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas

Get the 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send in your Melting Pot stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow the show on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let me know where I should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I read every one!

Next week on "Fine" Dining: Gordon Biersch Brewery Restaurant (Eat Deets)! I'm joined by All Elite Wrestling's "Pretty" Peter Avalon, and for the first part of the episode, I'll be teaching him the history of Gordon Biersch and their claim to have invented garlic fries. Ever work at a Gordon Biersch? Send your stories to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Totally Not Sponsored By: Harrison Augustine 💸 Arrylius the XIV

Season 2 starts November 8th!

• TGI Fridays is dark, red, and honestly feels like a murder room. Appropriate for the season
• Michael is joined by friend Sandy Rose to deliver the Resty Fact Round-Up while Garrett goes to town on Michael's bidet. Learn how TGI Fridays original incarnation was drastically different from what we know it as today
• Michael's pineapple son Juicy Jr. dons the mask as Juice-Son Vorhees in a terrifying murder spree homage to the Friday the 13th horror film franchise
• JUB issues an ominous warning
• Frequent dining companion Herbert Amaya goes to check on the suspicious boat on the ceiling while Michael & Garrett speculate What's Going On Over There?
• Garrett breaks the injunction and orders another Cinnabon-branded dessert
• Cheese correspondent Steven Zurita is a big fan of cheese
• The death of a cohost...
• Hear what others are saying about this TGI Fridays location in this week's Yelp from Strangers

Additional Voice Actors: Sandy Rose, Herbert Amaya, Steven Zurita

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (coming next week: Dave's Hot Chicken), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your TGI Fridays stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on the "Fine" Dining SEASON PREMIERE: The Melting Pot! The surviving host takes guest host Rhyan Schwartz to a cheese fondue restaurant, despite despising cheese! Hear what they have to say in two weeks for the season 2 premiere in two weeks! Ever work at a Melting Pot? Send your stories to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Totally Not Sponsored By: JUB

Do grocery store pies taste better in their restaurant of origin? Not by much!

• Marie Callender's Restaurant & Bakery feels like a slice of Michael & Garrett's childhoods, a wood-paneled wonderland that feels like a dentist's office waiting room
• Garrett details the history of the franchise in this week's Resty Fact Round-Up, including a history of "Pie Spies"
• Marie Callender's proves to be a haven of "old"
• The winner of the Septemburger Bracket $500 Giveaway is announced!
• Michael falls asleep in the booth...and Garrett is wondering What's Going On Over There?
• Table talk centers around Garrett's obsession with trashy reality dating shows, inspiring DILF Depot
• Michael's root beer gets bused, then...unbused?
• JUB's is getting in the biz of consulting; he'll teach you that all you need to be the greatest server is constant refills
• Hear what others (including a septagenarian cowboy) have to say about this Marie Callender's location in this week's Yelp from Strangers

Additional Voice Actors: Sandy Rose, Steve Moulton

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (September's episode: Septemburger's Semi-Finals & Finals), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Marie Callender's stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on the "Fine" Dining SEASON FINALE: TGI Friday's! Spooky season is upon us as the boys head to TGI Friday's on Friday the 13th! Hear what they have to say in two weeks for the finale episode of season 1! Ever work at a TGI Friday's? Send your stories to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Totally Not Sponsored By: JUB

The last quarterfinal match of Septemburger has arrived!

• Johnny Rockets is a genuine-hearted homage to the diners of the 1950s, which Michael would have been all about if this wasn't a "Sports Lounge" location
• Garrett details the history of the franchise in this week's Resty Fact Round-Up
• Septemburger match 4: Umami Burger vs. Johnny Rockets
• The You-Must Bowl has both Michael & Garrett crying, but insisting they're fine
• A CHAIR HEIST!!
• What's Going On with the restaurant's photographer snubbing our Fussy Little Boys?
• JUB's making meat frisbees. You read that right. Where did he go wrong? I blame his parents
• Hear what others have to say about this Johnny Rockets location in this week's Yelp from Strangers

Additional Voice Actors: Sandy Rose, Nick Adams, & Mindy Brown

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (August's episode: Burger King), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Johnny Rockets stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Marie Callender's! A drastic turn away from burgers, the boys head down to an old-fashioned pie shop. Hear what they have to say in two weeks for the penultimate episode of season 1! Ever work at a Marie Callenders? Send your stories to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Totally Not Sponsored By: JUB

Septemburger's #1 seed, Umami Burger is up to bat!

• Michael has an axe to grind after the best burger in Los Angeles changed up their recipe a few years back
• Garrett outlines the rise and fall of Umami Burger in Resty Fact Round-Up, and why they have a shot at regaining respect once again
• Septemburger will pit Umami against Johnny Rockets next week
• What's Going On with Umami feeling like it's still going through the pandemic?
• The service staff definitely noticed they were being reviewed and changed their effort level drastically
• JUB's opening a day care!
• A bunch of people share Michael's disappointment in the recipe change in this week's Yelp from Strangers
• Michael opts to join Garrett for next week's You-Must Bowl punishment in solidarity
  

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (August's episode: Burger King), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Umami Burger stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Johnny Rockets! Septemburger's winding down with the #8 seed. Can they pull off an upset against Umami Burger? Find out next week! Ever work at a Johnny Rockets? Send your stories to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Totally Not Sponsored By: JUB

Septemburger rolls along with the #5 seed, Red Robin!

• Michael & Garrett are not just joined by indie horror film producer John Angeli, but they're outright sponsored by his new movie Terror Firma
• Garrett outlines the surnameless "Sam" who founded Red Robin by annoying the heck out of anyone who would listen with his one Red Robin song
• More of a deep dive on the history of the franchise in Resty Fact Round-Up
• Septemburger match #3: Red Robin vs. Outback Steakhouse
• Forget the burgers, Red Robin's got amazing desserts!
• What's Going On with the black specks in the hot water?
• John breaks the bank by overusing the boys' eagle sound effect budget
• Child assassin?
• JUB's got a way to settle who gets which onion rings, and it's totally not plagiarized
• The longest run-on sentence ever in a restaurant review in this week's Yelp from Strangers
• John gives a brief rundown of his movie Terror Firma after Michael got to attend the premiere
• John tries to stump Michael & Garrett by being the fabled presenter of the Headline Game
  

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (August's episode: Burger King), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Red Robin stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Umami Burger! It's the #1 seed in Septemburger, but can they live up to their own hype? Find out next week! Ever work at an Umami Burger? Send your stories to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Totally Not Sponsored By: JUB

It's the burger battle of the year as Septemburger is now upon us!

• The tournament kicks off as the 8 entrants are announced and seeded
• Maybe the most badass theme song ever
• Garrett details the history of the hamburger in Burger Fact Round-Up
• #3 seed Fuddruckers faces off against the #6 seed Applebees
• #2 seed Islands faces off against the #7 seed Bob's Big Boy
• First round scoring for #4 seed Outback Steakhouse ahead of its match-up next week against the #5 seed Red Robin
• JUB will help you generalize your too-niche business plan
• Why's Outback so horned up? What's Going On Over There?

SUBMISSIONS ARE NOW CLOSED THE $500 BRACKET GIVEAWAY! Thanks to all who entered, and best of luck!

Music (including the Septemburger Theme Song): James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

"Fine" Dining Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month, extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas

Get your 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Red Robin! If you have ever worked for Red Robin or have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Michael & Garrett get back at Michael's niece-aged cousin Emma Danger for sending them to Hooters last time she was on the podcast!

• Twin Peaks is a breastaurant founded on the premise that Hooters had become "too tame," and lived up to that idea in its early years amidst scandals and indecent exposure charges
• Garrett fulfills his You-Must Bowl duties by donning Insane Clown Posse facepaint and consuming this meal while embodying the Juggalo lifestyle
• Even a little Judge Judy is more Judge Judy than expected
• Is there an underground fighting ring in this Twin Peaks? Find out in What's Going On Over There!
• JUB will help you gauge when a conversation has ended
• Emma's celery addiction has her spiraling out of control
• Some pretty wild takes about this restaurant in this week's Yelp from Strangers
• Totally not-at-all-biased scientific evidence "proves" that ogling women's bodies is good for your health
  

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

Voice Actor: Emma Danger

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (July's episode: McDonald's for Grimace's birthday!), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan & Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Twin Peaks stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Septemburger! Brace yourself as the Best Burger Tournament of the Year kicks off! If you have deeply held beliefs about certain burgers in the pantheon of casual dining, send your thoughts to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Totally Not Sponsored By: JUB

Michael & Garrett are now 80% garlic-by-volume!

• The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to sing his table's order to the entire restaurant
• Garrett details the garlicky history of The Stinking Rose in Resty Fact Round-Up
• Cheese correspondent Steven gives his thoughts on the Garlic Crab Alfredo Fondue
• A cursed piece of wall decoration has Garrett reeling
• The boys try Garlic Ice Cream??
• JUB tries his hand (or fingers) at being a stenographer
• A Real Doll placed right outside the restroom
  
• Garrett has the best chicken of his life

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month, extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan & Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Stinking Rose stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Twin Peaks! If you have ever worked for Twin Peaks and have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Michael & Garrett tolerate a subpar lunch buffet with the super-jacked Zeus Benitez!

• Garrett journeys to and from the buffet on his hands and feet as the You-Must Bowl has him crab-walking his way around Shakey's Pizza Parlor
• Learn about the first pizza franchise in America, Shakey's, and its founder: Banjo Hall of Fame member Sherwood "Shakey" Johnson
• An adult film about Shakey's? We certainly wrote one!
• The boys evaluate Shakey's arcade
• JUB will sell you prizes to give away at your arcade
• The worst pizza score in the history of the podcast
• Zeus reads a children's book about Garrett's crab-walking: The Crabomination
  

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

Voice Actor: VyVy Nguyen

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (July's episode: McDonald's for Grimace's birthday!), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan & Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Shakey's stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: The Stinking Rose! If you have ever worked for The Stinking Rose and have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

🍽️ This Place Sure Had a Lot of Food Items Score a 1-out-of-10 🫠

This week, we return to Golden Corral - this time, to eat. Joined by comedian and podcast host Ben Cassil (@bencassil), I finally test the buffet itself, from rock-hard bread to surprisingly okay tacos. We found joy in the strawberry shortcake Fanta ICEE and the sheer chaos of none of the food being accurately labeled.

Also, someone talked to their mom on speakerphone…from the toilet. This one had layers.

🍖 Ribs That Made Us Regret Everything
🍗 Chicken Fried Chicken That (Kinda) Slapped
🍞 Bread So Hard You Could Knock on It
🧙‍♂️ An All-Senior Magic Show (Is *THIS* Your AARP Card??)
🕹️ Claw Machines Everywhere
🧊 Strawberry Shortcake Fanta ICEE = Low-Key Amazing
🚽 Maybe DON'T Make Calls from the Toilet?
📍 Yes, This Was All Inside a Former Circuit City (But Who Is the Dreamer?)
📊 Golden Corral's Final Score: Better Than Chili's?

💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's the wildest thing you've ever seen at a buffet?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast
💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4
🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast
🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast
🎤 Ben on IG: @bencassil | Podcast: Live from the Big Apple

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: We dig into the Midwestern legacy of Gino's East of Chicago and how Chicagoans aren't just sitting around eating deep dish all the time.

The boys experience actual Fine Dining for once!

• The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to wear a suit made entirely of Pokémon cards to Mastro's Ocean Club
• Garrett details the history of Mastro's in Resty Fact Round-Up (Yeehaw!)
• Learn about Japanese vs. American wagyu, and the different classifications of beef grading
• Hands-down the greatest service experienced so far on this podcast
• Romantic music puts Michael and Garrett in a mood
• JUB will recalibrate your ratings scale
• Alcohol served with...interesting implements 
  

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month, extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan & Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Mastro's stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Shakey's Pizza Parlor! If you have ever worked for Shakey's and have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

The boys are joined by the delightful VyVy Nguyen!

• The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to consume his entire meal at Sizzler using only spoons
• Garrett plays Michael and VyVy a Sizzler commercial from 1991 
• Dessert pictures are catfishing unsuspecting customers
• Sex eyes are the only acceptable eyes to have in a Sizzler
• An ASMR Sizzler birthday soundscape, performed by VyVy
• Garrett pulls out the Fine Dining Bylaws to address Michael cheating at his You-Must Bowl punishment
• JUB welched on a bet once too
• Shrimp. Shrimp! SHRIMP!
• VyVy forces Michael & Garrett to spend a lot of money for the next episode...
  

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month, extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan & Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Sizzler stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Mastro's Ocean Club! If you have ever worked for Mastro's and have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

So much to do and only 12 hours to do it!

• Michael & Garrett hit up the LA County Fair for some crazy deep-fried food and a carny atmosphere
• They cover the history of the LA County Fairgrounds, which has an upsetting role as the site of a Japanese-American concentration camp during World War II and an Italian/German P.O.W. camp afterwards
• The boys get their palms read
• Garrett seeks out a Christian puppet show
• Seductive snakes bare it all at The Shed
• PIG RACING! <3
• The saga of Milk Steve the Cream Lord takes a tragic turn
• Roid raging 24-Hour Fitness salespeople
• A free full hour of an otherwise Patreon-exclusive episode!

Voice Actor: Jessa Day

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

We're on Patreon! Get part 2 of this episode (releasing soon!), an extra episode every month, extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan & Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your local state or county fair stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next week on Fine Dining: Sizzler! If you have ever worked for Sizzler and have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

It's dinner and a show at Medieval Times!

• The boys bear two hours of L.A. traffic to drive to Medieval Times only to discover the Union cast of this location are on strike and protesting outside
• Strike Captain Erin Zapcic shares what the striking workers are aiming to accomplish
• Garrett does a deep dive on the history of the franchise
• Imposters fill the castle as Union scabs have been bused/flown in from other Medieval Times locations
• 2 full-length songs about Michael & Garrett's night at Medieval Times:
  • "Overture" (2:47)
    
    • Music by James McEnelly
    • Lyrics by Michael Ornelas
    • Performed by James McEnelly
  • "Baby Dragon Hunt" (1:12:43)
    
    • Music by James McEnelly
    • Lyrics by Michael Ornelas
    • Performed by Michael Ornelas
    • Backing Vocals by James McEnelly
• The robotic sensibilities of the Red Knight has the boys asking What's Going On Over There?
• Two new audiodrama segments!
• Falconry!
• Jousting!
• Bloodlust!
• JUB's got a Kiss Cam!
• Terrible food is capped by awful "Baby Dragon" (chicken) and what seems like store-bought sheet cake
• Kyle finds what seems to be a pube in his eclair

Voice Cast: Bonnie Gordon, Sean Burgos, Jon Capraro, Emma Davalos, Simone Davalos, Steven Zurita

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

This episode contains allegations against Medieval Times that have not been proven in a court of law. Conversations regardling the strike are merely opinions.

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month, extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan & Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Medieval Times stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Sizzler! If you have ever worked for Medieval Times and have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

The boys found a Boomer utopia in restaurant form!

• The You-Must Bowl deems Garrett must embody the essence of Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville
• Garrett does a deep dive on the history of the franchise
• Cheeseburgers in Paradise aren't very good
• Michael tries to enforce a "No nudity, no touching" policy on Garrett
• An excerpt from a steamy romance novel authored by Jimmy Buffett
• JUB plans to make all public spaces a spoiler-free environment
• Strawberry Shortcake that is somehow neither strawberry nor shortcake
• Mason reviews the Margaritaville kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings
• Michael makes a rap in appreciation of a high-rolling top tier Patreon donor

Voice Actor: Jessa Day

Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)

Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish)

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month, extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan & Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Medieval Times! If you have ever worked for Medieval Times and have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

They changed the bread and killed our childhood!

• The boys color on the table at this week's pick: Romano's Macaroni Grill
• Garrett wants to bottle up Michael's spaghetti grease to eat later
• The bathroom signs are confusing
• Phil Romano has some crazy ideas for an Asian cuisine restaurant
• A pushy waiter demands to know why a nearby table is celebrating
• Garrett must become next week's restaurant, literally
• Audrey reviews the Macaroni Grill kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings
• JUB will make use of all your food byproducts
  

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month, extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Romano's Macaroni Grill stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville! If you have ever worked for Margaritaville and have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

It's Turbo Time!

• Steve Moulton (I Think You Should Leave, Young Rock, Sharknado) joins the boys in going to LAX, one of the busiest airports in the world, to dine at a pre-security Planet Hollywood
• Garrett orders the worst steak we've ever seen
• Planet Hollywood has no Hollywood decor?!
• The Floor Wing RETURNS!! And he's kidnapped (pineapplenapped?) Juicy Jr.
• Girthy paper straws are WAY TOO MUCH
• Steve & Garrett time out on The Headline Game
• A veritable Final Destination is What's Going On Over There?
• JUB needs you to set aside your ethics
  

We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month, extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Planet Hollywood stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Romano's Macaroni Grill! If you have ever worked for Macaroni Grill and have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• No service? No problem! The boys make a casual dining exception for Cinnabon
• Michael sues Garrett in Food Court (the honorable Judge Jessa Day presiding) to block him from ordering Cinnabon desserts outside of Cinnabon
• Nightmare Jimmy Buffett/dubstep hybrid music permeates the boys' ears as they scarf down their Cinnabon at an abandoned Margaritaville patio table
• A seemingly unconscious man on his truck bed has the boys wondering What's Going On Over There?
• JUB will help you manage your emotions
  

We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Cinnabon stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Planet Hollywood! If you have ever worked for Planet Hollywood and have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• Applebee's scores a 5.00 from one of the boys
• Michael tells about the time he chauffeured Ron Jeremy
• Alan Tudyk tags in as Steven's voice for this week's Cheese Review
• The presence of a Cinnabon-licensed dessert reignites an old debate
• Brisa reviews Applebee's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings
• JUB wants to make the skimmest milk ever
  

We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Applebee's stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Cinnabon! If you have ever worked for Cinnabon and have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• The boys are joined by comedian Casey Adler at Red Lobster
• The origins of Darden start at Red Lobster
• Casey recites a monologue on Red Lobster's stage
• Ollie reviews the Red Lobster kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings
• Garrett roams around the restaurant eating at different tables thanks to the You-Must Bowl
• JUB solves the lack of beverages named after Asians
  

We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Red Lobster stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Follow Casey on TikTok @caseyjadlercomedy and check out his website www.caseyjadler.com

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

In 2 weeks on Fine Dining: Applebee's Grill & Bar! If you have ever worked for Applebee's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Applebee's kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

This month on our Patreon: Portillo's. Subscribe at the link above to get this exclusive episode!

🥩 Golden Corral's 100-Year Plan & Dumpster Drama 🗑️

This week, we dive into the sprawling buffet empire that is Golden Corral. From hygiene scandals to military youth camps, this chain has been through it all and somehow, it's still opening new locations.

Joining me is Ben Cassil, host of Live from the Big Apple, to help unravel the chain's bizarre history, including its long-standing relationship with the troops, a giant brawl over steak, and a game of hide-and-seek with their meat because of an impending health inspection.

Plus, Ben pitches a Discworld-themed restaurant, and we dig into some unhinged Yelp reviews from our local Golden Corral.

🏢 A CEO with a 100-Year Plan
🫡 Ties to the Military (We Support the Troops)
🎤 If You're Jeff Foxworthy...You Might Be a Buffet Spokesman
🍫 Goodbye, Chocolate Fountain (We Hardly Knew Ye)
🗑️ "Dumpster Gate" & a Protected Whistleblower
🎸 Why the Founder is NOT the Lead Singer of Tool
🪄 A Discworld Restaurant That Lives in Our Heads Now
🌟 Yelp Reviews That Made Us Question Reality

💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's the wildest thing you've ever seen at a buffet?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast
💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4
🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast
🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast
🎤 Ben on IG: @bencassil | Podcast: Live from the Big Apple

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: It's finally our turn to experience the buffet ourselves. We eat at this Golden Corral (that definitely used to be a Circuit City) and let's just say... it wasn't great.

• It takes 2 hours for Michael & Garrett to finally get food in front of them
• A child pyromaniac in this week's "What's Going On Over There?" segment
• The least charismatic hibachi chef ever
• Michael & Garrett debate the merits of a restaurant having a minimum and maximum possible score before even walking in
• Wallace reviews Benihana's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings
• JUB puts your customers to work
  

We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Benihana stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Red Lobster! If you have ever worked for Red Lobster and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of Red Lobster's kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• Lucille's history provides some racial turmoil
• The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to wear a "Bride-to-Be" sash and tiara
• The boys enlist some Yelp from Strangers as the boys read their favorite 1 & 5-star Yelp reviews about the Lucille's they visited
• Garrett speculates that Lucille's is growing its future workforce in back
• Greta reviews Lucille's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings
• JUB has a bone to pick with a hot security guard's pick-up methods
  

We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Lucille's Smokehouse Bar-B-Que stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Benihana! If you have ever worked for Benihana and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of Benihana's kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• Michael & Garrett get big casino hotel vibes from The Cheesecake Factory
• The Factory Apocalypse reanimates Cheesecake zombies
• Colin Mochrie from Whose Line Is It Anyway? voices cheese correspondent Steven's review of the Stuffed Cheddar Burger
• NEW SEGMENT: Yelp from Strangers, as the boys read their favorite 1, 2, 3, 4, & 5-star Yelp reviews about the Cheesecake Factory they visited
• Nikki recounts her pervasive Cheesemares™ that haunted her dreams during her tenure as a Cheesecake Factory employee
• JUB will train your baby to be good
  

We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Cheesecake Factory stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Lucille's Smokehouse BBQ! If you have ever worked for Lucille's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of Lucille's kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• Michael & Garrett look back at 20 (+1) restaurant visits and analyze if their scores look correct on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity
• JUB will help you fill your life with regrets
• Garrett comes clean about DMing with Gatti's Pizza
• A full rankings recap at the end
  

We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your fan questions at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: The Cheesecake Factory. If you have ever worked for The Cheesecake Factory and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of The Cheesecake Factory kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• Michael & Garrett go all the way to south San Francisco just to eat at Chevys Fresh Mex
• Y'all ready for shits?
• CheeseGate sets Michael and Garrett off as their server cheeselights them
• The boys passionately debate the merits of Performance Enhancing Dessert-toppers
• Pierce reviews the Chevys kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings
• JUB sells you the Art of Denial
  

We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Chevys stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: A Special Look Back at 20 Entries on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity! And in 2 weeks: The Cheesecake Factory. If you have ever worked for The Cheesecake Factory and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of The Cheesecake Factory kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• It's the HOOTER BOWL!! Grab some chips, sit back, and put on the game as the boys talk wings, waitresses, and what day the week starts on
• We're on video for this one! Go to our Patreon (link below) to watch this episode in all its true glory!
• The Hooter Bowl is jam-packed with commercials just like the Super Bowl, but potentially more ridiculous
• Bonnie Gordon battles noise complaints from Michael's neighbors as she performs "Four Letters (ADHD)" off her upcoming album Con Artist for the Hooter Bowl Halftime Show
• Noah Gray from the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs pops in to voice Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita's review of Hooters' Chicken Philly Cheesesteak
• Garrett pilfers a tin foil birthday hat from another table
• Hooters employee (and new Best Server) Amy shares her on-the-clock break-up story
• Willa Mae reviews Hooters kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings
• JUB has some wet nap slogans he wants to test out
  

Additional voices: Nick Adams, Zeus Benitez, Jessa Day, Grayson Niles

We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!

Huge thanks to our Patreon Producer: Sue Ornelas

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Hooters stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Chevys Fresh Mex! If you have ever worked for Chevys and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Chevys kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• The boys bring Michael's second cousin (once removed) Emma to Chuck E. Cheese and she makes them feel elderly
• Chris Hansen from "To Catch a Predator" and the "Predators I've Caught" podcast reviews Chuck E. Cheese's cheesy bread on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita
• A passion for celery makes way for a Training Day-style Denzel monologue
• Brand new song "The Patreon Shuffle" is born
• Emma wins the Headline Game! What does that mean for next week's pick?
• JUB has a new best-selling item in stock
  

Additional voices: Sean Burgos & Jon Capraro

We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Chuck E. Cheese stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Hooter's! If you have ever worked for Hooter's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Hooter's kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• The boys feel sluggish and greasy as their Cheddar's meal obliterated their bodies
• Tommy Chong from "Cheech & Chong" reviews Cheddar's cheese fries on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita
• Garrett's You-Must Bowl punishment - where he can only speak to the wait staff in rhyme - tanks our service
• Michael's dad also tanks our service experience
• Bathe yourself in the new perfume scent Mediocrité
• JUB has a ploy to get all the free wood you could ever want from a Home Depot
  

Additional voices: Tommy Chong & Jessa Day

We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Cheddar's stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Chuck E. Cheese! If you have ever worked for Chuck E. Cheese and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Chuck E. Cheese kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• The boys get f***ing AMPED about their first cafeteria
• Pumbaa from "The Lion King" reviews Luby's mac & cheese on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita
• Michael & Garrett get to the bottom of why Luby's gave up on offering kids menus
• Michael wears a cone of shame
• Luby's nursing home feel scores a sponsorship from Old Old Ooooold SO OLD Navy
• JUB rallies against Goldblumers
  

Additional voices: Ernie Sabella & Jessa Day

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Luby's stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Cheddar's Scratch Kitchen! If you have ever worked for Cheddar's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Cheddar's kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• It's A Tale of Two Gatti's with the depressing dichotomy between buffet and arcade
• Michael & Garrett's air hockey game spills out to the entire arcade
• Garrett gets a huge wad of gum on his shoe
• Gray chocolate pudding and translucent fruits are a bad sign that this buffet will suck
• Michael tries desperately to win a blu-ray copy of Croods 2: A New Age and some full-size candy bars
• JUB will help you overcome the obstacles in your life
  

Additional voices: Sandy Rose and Nick Adams

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your GattiTown stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Luby's! If you have ever worked for Luby's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Luby's kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

🍑 Better Than Chili's? We Finally Taste Jollibee 🍗

This week, we're putting Jollibee through the Chili's Test. From sweet pies that taste like vacation to spaghetti that... didn't, we finally try the food and decide whether this beloved Filipino chain lives up to its reputation. With special guest Jason Patrick Galit (JPG) guiding the way, we get the full experience, even if we have to be Sweaty Little Boys in the process.

It's juicy fried chicken, a peach mango hand pie that has haunted my dreams (in a good way though), and one very loud iPad kid.

🍗 Fried Chicken That's "Better Than It Should Be"
🥭 A Hand Pie So Good It's Worth a Detour
🍝 Spaghetti That Scared Michael, Then Surprised Him
📱 iPad Kid & The Chuck E. Cheese Content FOMO
🇵🇭 Adobo Rice = The Ultimate Chicken Chaser
🪑 Why the Waiting Area Feels Like a Dermatologist's Office
🎮 Packing Bowls Like Filipino Babies
📊 Jollibee's Official Score: Is It Better Than Chili's?

💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's your Jollibee go-to order?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast
💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, AND NOW PET PHOTOS): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4
🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast
🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast
🎤 JPG on IG: @SpeakerJPG | Website: https://www.intermyth.org

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: I'm heading to Golden Corral to explore its history, legacy, and wild Yelp reviews with comedian Ben Cassil before reviewing it in Part 2.

• Michael's dad sets the bar too high for Mexican food
  
• Elvis lives at Chuy's
• 10 year-old Wil calls out Chuy's "kids menu" with the mouth of a sailor
• Fine Dining Cheese Correspondent Steven is not in Texas, so Michael's mom steps in
• The You-Must Bowl forces 3 mid-meal wardrobe changes
  
• 15-year Chuy's vet Kassie recalls The Miracle of the Tortilla
• JUBcaps and JUBHub comin' atcha!

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Chuy's stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

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Next time on Fine Dining: GattiTown! If you have ever worked for GattiTown and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the GattiTown kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• The fanciest restaurant yet surprises Michael & Garrett
  
• Three diary entries from His Majesty, the Alaskan King Crab
  
• A busser tries to steal a swimming pool
• JUB will teach you manners!
  
• 11 year-old Willa is too cool for the Pappadeaux kids menu
• Our waiter spills scalding hot butter on Garrett's hand

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Next time on Fine Dining: Chuy's! If you have ever worked for Chuy's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Chuy's kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• Michael & Garrett survive Waffle House on Halloween weekend at midnight
• Vape Man: Coming to a store near you this holiday season!
• Cheese Correspondent Steven has special guest Jerry Springer read his review of the Covered Hash Browns
• Former Waffle House employee Kendyll tells us just what happens at 3am at a Waffle House
  
• A Waffle House proposal lasts less than 24 hours
• JUB wants to repurpose your waffle batter
• A very special Headline Game: LIGHTNING ROUND! Michael has 2 minutes on the clock to answer Garrett's headline barrage correctly

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Waffle House stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

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Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen! If you have ever worked for Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Pappadeaux kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• Michael & Garrett annoint their friend Steven as their Cheese Correspondent
• Steven's jaw isn't working so Joel McHale reads Steven's review for him (around the 47 minute mark)
• More You-Must Bowl shenanigans ensued as Michael recruits his mom to make a painting of Bob's Big Boy
• Michael's mom tells her side of the story when Michael was pulled over by Officer Hot Dog (hear the original story in episode 8!)
• The boys have truly bad service
• JUB works inside of the Big Boy statue
• Garrett takes on Michael's mom in this week's Headline Game

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Bob's Big Boy stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

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Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Waffle House! If you have ever worked for Waffle House and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Waffle House kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• It's double date night at Rainforest Cafe
• Garrett inflates a gigantic pool toy at the table because of his You Must Bowl punishment
• Across the Sky podcast host Matt Holiner drops in to give a weather forecast for the Rainforest...Cafe
• Michael gives $100 to a balloon animal maker
• JUB has his own special ways of keeping the animatronics in check
• 6 year-old Austin tells his favorite joke on the Rainforest Kids Menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings
• Michael & Garrett hand out some high scores

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Rainforest Cafe stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

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Next time on Fine Dining: Bob's Big Boy! If you have ever worked for Bob's Big Boy and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Bob's Big Boy kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• It's Michael's 34th birthday dinner with almost a dozen friends!
• Michael & Garrett speculate why the bathroom is deafening
• Garrett sides with the waiter as a Dungeons & Dragons battle breaks out in the restaurant
• JUB will annoy your friends to ensure they're on time to their appointments
• 10 year-old Luke was snubbed by Gyu-Kaku in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings segment
• Michael & Garrett go in-depth on the expansive menu at Gyu-Kaku, even if they aren't always sure what they're eating

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Gyu-Kaku stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

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Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Rainforest Cafe! If you have ever worked for Rainforest Cafe and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Rainforest Cafe kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• Michael & Garrett are immensely disappointed by the churro stand next to Bubba Gump
• Michael tells the story of getting pulled over in Alabama "for having California license plates"
• Forrest Gump narrates the boys' adventure
• JUB makes souvenir pennies
• 7 year-old Nora "hates the man on the bench" in another adorable Munchkin Menu Musings segment
• Michael & Garrett go HAM on Forrest Gump trivia

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Gyu-Kaku Japanese BBQ! If you have ever worked for Gyu-Kaku and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Gyu-Kaku kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

WELCOME TO OUR MUSICAL EPISODE! You're reading that correctly!

• Michael & Garrett review Olive Garden
• The boys think they can top Olive Garden's in-house soundtrack by creating one of their own!
• JUB gets a real job
• What's going on with there being SO MANY BIRTHDAYS at Olive Garden??
• Former Olive Garden employee Trever Jones recounts meeting the love of his love on the job
• 3 year-old Yaretzi gives up on reviewing the kids menu, so her dad does it for her
• 7 full-length songs about Michael & Garrett's night at Olive Garden:
  • "We're All Family Here" (10:15)
    
    • Music by Kyle Schieffer
    • Lyrics by Michael Ornelas & Garrett Zwerk
    • Performed by Nick Adams, Cristina Bidagor, Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, & Kyle Schieffer
    • Additional voices by Kyle Schieffer, Alessandra Hill, & Jonny from Fiverr
  • "All We Want Is You (To Be Our Server)" (featuring alice the g00n) (26:45)
    
    • Music by James McEnelly
    • Lyrics by Garrett Zwerk & Michael Ornelas
    • Performed by Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, & alice the g00n
    • Additional voices by James McEnelly, Gabe Alvarez, Natalie Paniccia, & Caroline Paniccia
  • "Send It Back!" (32:12)
    
    • Music by Gabe Alvarez
    • Lyrics by Gabe Alvarez
    • Performed by Michael Ornelas & Garrett Zwerk
    • Backing vocals by Gabe Alvarez
    • Additional Voices by Alessandra Hill
  • "Charge for Sauce" (42:39)
    
    • Music by Kyle Schieffer
    • Lyrics by Michael Ornelas
    • Performed by Ben Valdmets, Michael Ornelas, & Garrett Zwerk
    • Additional Voices by Kyle Schieffer
  • "Room for Dessert" (featuring Ghettosocks) (52:48)
    
    • Music by Fresh Kils
    • Lyrics by Michael Ornelas & Darren Pyper
    • Performed by Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, Ghettosocks, & alice the g00n
  • "Perfectly Adequate" (featuring alice the g00n) (1:04:19)
    
    • Music by Kyle Schieffer
    • Lyrics by Michael Ornelas
    • Performed by Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, & alice the g00n
    • Backing vocals by Kyle Schieffer
  • "We're All Family Here (Reprise)" (1:08:49)
    
    • Music by Kyle Schieffer
    • Lyrics by Michael Ornelas
    • Performed by Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, Nick Adams, & Cristina Bidagor
    • Backing vocals by Kyle Schieffer
    • Additional voices by alice the g00n & Ghettosocks

All songs mastered by Perrier Grey

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Olive Garden stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com

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Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a 5-star review on iTunes. We read every one!

TELL A FRIEND ABOUT OUR SHOW!

Next time on Fine Dining: Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.! If you have ever worked for Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.'s kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• Michael & Garrett drive an hour away to review a Pizza Hut that still has a dine-in option
• The boys break their own rules because they were lied to by Yelp
• Why is Pizza Hut a magnet for cars crashing into them??
• The boys discuss Pizza Hut's marketing plan from the '90s to laser their logo onto the surface of the moon
• Garrett gives a eulogy
• Michael & Garrett fight over whether or not this dessert item is eligible to be rated

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Pizza Hut stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast

Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on iTunes. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Olive Garden! If you have ever worked for Olive Garden and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Olive Garden kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• Michael & Garrett review Denny's (at 2 in the morning on a Saturday night)
• The Wild West of late night dining: college students and homeless people galore
• "What's Going on over There?" is the theme of the night as there are so many unanswerable mysteries from this wild night, but the boys do their best to solve them
• The restaurant erupts with applause for a blindfolded Garrett after he finally gets his dessert to his mouth due to the You Must Bowl
• JUB hocks Peace & Quiet™
• 4 year-old Preston from Texas reviews the Denny's Kids Menu
• Super-Server Keith from Outback Steakhouse gets a run for his money from 85 year-old Shohreh, a battle-hardened veteran of the graveyard shift
• Michael & Garrett discuss a casting call for Milk Steve the Cream Lord

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Denny's stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

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Next time on Fine Dining: Pizza Hut! If you have ever worked for Pizza Hut and have a story to share, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

🍗 Jollibee Is a Filipino Treasure 🍗

This week, we dive into the sweet, crunchy, culturally iconic legacy of Jollibee, the Filipino fast food chain with a bee mascot, a cult following, and a spaghetti recipe that would confuse most Americans. But to millions of Filipinos, it's more than just a restaurant—it's home.

Joining me is Jason Patrick Galit (JPG) from InterMyth, who grew up with Jollibee and has the love to prove it. From his first spaghetti to a fried chicken hand towel, this episode is deeply personal as he offers a lot of amazing insights into Jollibee's cultural significance.

🍝 Sweet Spaghetti with Hot Dogs: Where It Came From
🇵🇭 Jollibee = Cultural Ownership & Diaspora Pride
💃 A Bee Mascot That's Slightly H*rny
🎤 The Chicken Outage That Brought a Country to Its Knees
💥 A Deep-Fried Hand Towel Can't Ruin Jollibee's Image
🍞 Michael's Garlic Bread Spaghetti Sandwich Recipe (!!!)
📱 Benny Blanco Got Dragged for Disrespecting the Bee
🤝 How Jollibee Connects Families Across Generations

💬 COMMENT BELOW: What was your first Jollibee experience?

📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast
💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4
🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast
🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast
🎤 JPG on IG: @SpeakerJPG | Website: https://www.intermyth.org

Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van

👉 NEXT WEEK: We taste the real deal—fried chicken, spaghetti, palabok, and more—as we visit Jollibee in-person to see how it stacks up to Chili's.

• Michael & Garrett review Island's Fine Burgers & Drinks
• Michael goes off-the-menu with a discontinued burger order
• The boys enter a lottery for a free bike
• JUB has yet another business ploy
• 10 empty mugs of beer on an older couple's table raise more questions than they answer
• The boys gush about THE BEST FRIES IN THE GAME
• 5 year-old Joaquin reviews the kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings
• TWO listener-submitted stories about break-ups and infidelity involving Island's

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Island's Fine Burgers & Drinks stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

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Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a 5-star review on iTunes. We read every one!

Next time on Fine Dining: Denny's! If you have ever worked for Denny's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Denny's kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• Michael & Garrett review The Old Spaghetti Factory
• The most mediocre dinner so far takes a sharp turn when the boys discover the place is super haunted
• An interview with special guest, Paranormal Investigator/Psychic/Author Jeff Dwyer
• Michael raises some eyebrows when the You Must Bowl forces him to bring a pineapple to dinner and insist it's his son
• Michael & Garrett tell you all about why they nicknamed the guy sitting across from them "Milk Steve the Cream Lord"
• JUB offers to bust ghosts
• 7 year-old Julian reviews the kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings
• Will Michael go 3-0 against Garrett in The Headline Game?

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Old Spaghetti Factory stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

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Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a 5-star review on iTunes. We read every one!

The Search Continues: next time on Fine Dining we dine at Island's Fine Burgers & Drinks!

If you have ever worked for Island's and have a story to share, or if you'd like us to hear your child's review of the Island's kids' menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

• Michael & Garrett review Buffalo Wild Wings
• A ceiling leak rains on the boys' parade
• The atmosphere almost gives Garrett a panic attack
• The security feed lets the boys know THEY'RE BEING WATCHED
• Garrett sets his mouth on fire
• JUB is back with a brand new business
• Michael writes and performs B-Dubs's unofficial corporate birthday song

Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!

Send us your Buffalo Wild Wings stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

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Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a 5-star review on iTunes. We read every one!

The Search Continues: next time on Fine Dining we dine at The Old Spaghetti Factory!