Fill Me Up – Détails, épisodes et analyse

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Fill Me Up

ROL Productions

Religion & Spiritualité

Fréquence : 1 épisode/8j. Total Éps: 20

We know what you thought when you heard the name. We thought it too. But Fill Me Up is not what you think it is or maybe it is exactly what you think it is, just not the way you think it, at the root of every addiction, every toxic relationship, every desperate reach for something outside yourself, there is one cry underneath all of it. Fill me up. Fill this emptiness. Fill this ache that I cannot name and cannot shake no matter what I try. That is not a sexual cry. That is a spiritual one.

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Données mises à jour le 18/07/2026

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We Need to Talk About Men | Masculinity, the Manosphere & Recovery

mardi 30 juin 2026 • Durée 51:30

This week on Fill Me Up, Jessica and Nikki take on their favorite subject: men. Not man-bashing, not man-worship — just the truth as they've lived it, from years in recovery rooms to a past in exotic entertainment.

They get into why so many men feel lost, the economy where one income no longer builds a life, and the manosphere — Andrew Tate, the 6am hustle, "emotions are for losers" — and why a polished clip isn't the same as a righteous, honest life. From love addiction and fantasy addiction to the recovery answer underneath it all: radical honesty. You can't recover from something you refuse to name.

Plus a listener Q&A: a mom whose son is deep in Andrew Tate content, a man two years sober who still can't be honest in the rooms, and a wife of 14 years who's never heard "I love you" first.

⚠️ Explicit. Contains discussion of suicide. If you're struggling, call or text 988 (U.S. & Canada).

🎧 New episodes weekly. Follow and send your questions on Instagram.

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MAID, Mental Health & Why We Need More Than a Permanent Exit

mardi 23 juin 2026 • Durée 58:30

What does it mean when a system designed to help people in crisis starts offering them a permanent exit instead?

In this episode, Jessica and Nikki take on one of Canada's most contested policy debates — Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) — through the lens of recovery, spirituality, and radical honesty. They aren't here to tell you what to think. They're here to have the conversation out loud that most people are only having in their heads.

They dig into how MAID expanded from terminal illness to include non-terminal conditions where "suffering is intolerable" — and what that language means for people in active addiction, mental health crises, or simply in the middle of a very bad year. They share personal stories, answer real audience questions, and wrestle with a central truth from their recovery work: you cannot give informed consent to a permanent decision from inside a temporary crisis.

They also talk about what actually fills the God-shaped hole — not a government program, not substances, not validation — but spiritual training, radical honesty, community, and the willingness to stay long enough to find out what's on the other side of the pain.

In this episode:

The history of MAID in Canada and how it expanded through Bill C-7
Why the 12-step community sees addiction as an "intolerable condition" — and what that means in a MAID context
What happened when Veterans Affairs Canada directed veterans to MAID instead of treatment
The $149M question: who financially benefits from this program's expansion?
An audience question from an anonymous detox worker whose facility was approached by government officials asking for MAID referrals
A parent's question after their 12-year-old came home from school having been told about assisted dying
The case of a 26-year-old who received MAID in BC — and what his family wants people to know
Why spirit comes first — then mind, then body

Recovery isn't for people who want it. It's for people who do the work. This episode is part of that work.

Content note: This episode includes frank discussion of Medical Assistance in Dying, suicidal ideation, addiction, and personal trauma. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out to Crisis Services Canada: 1-833-456-4566 or text 45645.

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Stop Snorting People: The Real Reason You Keep Repeating the Same Patterns

mardi 16 juin 2026 • Durée 33:02

What's really happening when we get sober and immediately sprint into a relationship, a shopping habit, an obsession with our kids, or a new financial fixation? Jessica and Nikki get into it — raw, honest, and funny — in this episode of Fill Me Up.

They break down the substitution cycle: the way addiction doesn't disappear when we put down our substance of choice, it just shapeshifts. People. Money. Food. Anger. Victimhood. If you've ever found yourself asking "why does this keep happening to me?" — this episode is going to hit.

Topics this week:

The mental blind spot that lets us walk into dangerous situations while our dogs won't even cross the street
What "snorting people" actually looks like — and whether you've been doing it
Gay time, recovery time, and why two addicts moving in together in a week is a cliché for a reason
The difference between the establishing phase and the maintenance phase of recovery — and why you genuinely cannot do both at once
Sexual manipulation aging into emotional manipulation — and how to catch yourself
Patience as a practice, not a personality trait
Why "just get a new dog" is the same as "just meet someone new" — and why it completely misses the point
Surrounding yourself with higher-consciousness people vs. cosigning each other's old behavior
Managing, mothering, martyrdom, and manipulation — the four M's nobody wants to admit they're doing
Choosing radical thinking when self-pity moves in
The Stoics, soul school, and what it actually means to be a good human today

This is the episode for anyone who's ever wondered why getting sober felt like it was supposed to fix everything — and then didn't. The solution isn't a new person. It isn't more money. It's the work in between.

Fill Me Up is hosted by Jessica and Nikki — two women in recovery who don't sugarcoat anything and don't apologize for it.

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Nothing Happens in God’s World By Mistake: Grief, Money Fear & the Decision to Be Kind

mardi 9 juin 2026 • Durée 27:25

After three weeks away, Nikki comes home to grief — both family dogs have passed — and finds, even in that, the recovery principle she keeps returning to: nothing happens in this world by mistake. From there, she and Jessica get into the work that's actually changed their lives — that we're making decisions all day long, and the most powerful one is choosing to be kind, patient and of service whether or not anyone else changes first.

They talk about the "fear frequency" around money in 2026, why chasing a number can repel the very thing you want, and how getting honest about your story — not a certificate or a title — is what lets you help someone else. Jessica shares how being blocked from God looked, for her, like being blocked from responsibility and service; Nikki shares how losing her job during Covid brought her to her knees and, eventually, to freedom.

Recorded with their littlest co-host, Dodo.

Content warning: This episode includes candid references to past suicidal thoughts and to mental and physical health experiences. It is one couple's personal recovery experience and is not medical, psychological, or financial advice. If you're struggling, please reach out to a licensed professional or a crisis line (resources below).

Topics: grief & recovery · decision-making as spiritual practice · radical acceptance · service · money & fear · "your past is your greatest asset" · 12-step community language

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You Can't Heal Where You Got Sick

mardi 26 mai 2026 • Durée 22:27

Can you go back to the same places, people, and patterns — and actually get better? Jessica and Nikki break down one of recovery's most misunderstood ideas: the "immersion therapy" myth. They get real about what a genuine change in belief system looks like, why environment matters more than willpower, and how this applies to everyone — not just people in the rooms.

They also dig into:

The six Big Book principles for repairing relationships with family members you've hurt
Why God never actually says no (and what the three real answers are)
Intergenerational healing and soul contracts
Patience as a recovery tool — and why it's so hard to hear
The idea that we've all "been here before" — and what that means for childhood trauma

"Don't love me today — because I'm ascending every single second." — Nikki

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You're Not Depressed, You're Self-Obsessed

mardi 19 mai 2026 • Durée 24:13

Two tomatoes for ten bucks, a $35 sandwich, and a guy at the gym who can't stop saying "you made it" — Nikki and Jessica start with the small talk that makes their skin crawl and end up somewhere much bigger.

This week: the DM that went sideways, the funeral where "hi how are you?" came out on autopilot, the boss who got a one-hour fireside chat about how Nikki actually was, and the Starbucks bathroom story that may or may not have involved a person who didn't exist.

The thesis, courtesy of Nikki: you're not depressed, you're self-obsessed. And the way out isn't pills or another therapist circle-jerking your problems — it's radical acceptance, showing up for other people, and finding one good thing in every person you meet (especially the ones you can't stand).

Also discussed: NPCs, why "lol" from a man is a red flag, mood as a daily decision, and how to actually wake somebody up without being a dick about it.

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The Lies That Keep You Sick: Doctor Knows Best, Go to School & Social Media Myths

mardi 12 mai 2026 • Durée 18:35

What if the biggest obstacles in your recovery — or your life — weren't your past, your diagnosis, or your circumstances… but the stories you were handed as truth?

In Episode 15, Jess and Nikki go deep on the lies that keep people stuck, sick, and small. They're not holding back.

In this episode:

"Your doctor always knows best" — They challenge the blind trust most of us were raised with around medical authority, including how pharmaceutical incentives shape the advice you receive, why more people are firing their doctors, and what it actually means to advocate for yourself and your family's health.
"Go to school, get a degree, get a job" — Both hosts share their wildly non-linear paths — alternative school, multiple licenses never used, the strip club, real estate — and make the case that your lived experience is the credential that actually matters. Sound familiar, recovery community?
"Everyone else is living their best life" — The social media comparison trap. Why the highlight reel is a lie, what the Britney Spears moment taught an entire generation about public image vs. private pain, and a simple mindset shift to stop measuring your insides against everyone else's outsides.

They close with a powerful exercise: what if you threw all your problems in a pile with everyone else's — would you really swap?

This one is raw, funny, and deeply honest. As always.

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You're Not a People Pleaser — You're a Liar

mardi 5 mai 2026 • Durée 20:31

We're calling it: people-pleasing isn't a personality trait. It's dishonesty.

In this episode, Nikki and Jess take one of the most trending conversations on social media — people-pleasing — and flip it completely on its head. Forget the soft reframes. If you're suppressing your truth to avoid conflict, you're lying. And the person you're hurting most? You.

They dig into why people-pleasing never actually pleases anyone, what it really means to give someone authority to speak into your life (and why random people don't get that access), and how not doing the inner work now will catch up to you in your relationships later.

This episode is raw, honest, and exactly the kind of conversation you didn't know you needed. Words matter. Honesty heals. And your people-pleasing? It's costing everyone — especially you.

Soul School is back and she has no filter.

Nicki and Jess unpack one of the most misused terms in self-development: people-pleasing. Their take? Stop softening it. People-pleasing is a form of radical dishonesty — and until you call it what it is, you can't change it.

What They Cover

Why "people pleaser" is a comforting label that lets you avoid the real word: liar
The difference between avoiding confrontation and being honest
How to know who has actually earned the right to speak truth into your life
Setting limits on how and when people can access you — and why that's an act of love
The connection between not doing your inner work and people-pleasing in relationships
Why staying silent to "protect" someone is often just self-protection in disguise
The Burning Bed and what Farrah Fawcett's character teaches us about what happens when people-pleasing builds up
Taking full accountability for your life — not 50%, not your "part" — all of it

Notable Quotes from This Episode

"People pleasers — give me the phone numbers of the last five people you pleased."
"People pleasing is dishonesty. You're a fucking liar. Why don't you speak your truth?"

Spiritual Bypassing: Why Crystals Won't Save You

mardi 28 avril 2026 • Durée 24:45

Are you actually healing — or are you just keeping yourself busy enough to avoid feeling it?

In this episode, we get into spiritual bypassing: the sneaky ways we use crystals, shadow work, self-help books, Eat Pray Love trips, and endless "inner child" content to feel like we're doing the work — without ever actually sitting still long enough to let it happen.

We talk about toxic over-productivity, the restlessness that drives it, and why the most spiritually advanced thing you can do might just be... nothing. We also tell the Alan Watts Chinese Farmer parable — and by the end of it, you'll understand why "I don't know" might be the most honest and freeing answer you've ever given yourself.

Topics covered:

Why being sober isn't the same as being healed
What shadow work and inner child work actually mean (and when they become avoidance)
People addiction and why it's one of the hardest to talk about
The silent work behind real peace — and how it looks different than the content version
The Chinese Farmer parable and surrendering outcomes to God

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The Truth About Resentment, Sleep & Spiritual Growth

mardi 21 avril 2026 • Durée 18:21

What if the pain you keep feeling… isn’t happening to you — but being replayed by you?

In this episode of Soul School, we break down what resentment really is, why so many people stay stuck in the same emotional loops, and how spiritual growth actually happens in real life — not just in theory.

We talk about:

Why “resentment” isn’t just anger — it’s re-feeling old pain
How holding things in keeps you stuck in the same cycle
The discipline required to grow (even when you don’t feel like it)
Questioning the beliefs you’ve always accepted as truth
Why connection to something greater doesn’t require going through anyone else
Letting go of control, opinions, and the need to “play God”

This isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about becoming aware enough to stop repeating what’s not working.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, restless, or like something deeper is missing — this episode is for you.

🎧 New episodes weekly — follow to stay connected.

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Fill Me Up – Détails, épisodes et analyse

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