Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Feral Attraction
| Titre | Date | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| FA 108 Toxic Popularity | 20 Dec 2018 | 01:19:59 | |
On this week’s show we open with a discussion of the sexualization of animals, and the various forms such sexualization can take (zoophilia, bestiality, zoosadism). Guest host Klik Wolf joins us to discuss our main topic, toxic popularity — we talk about how the desire to become popular can turn some well-meaning furs into people they don’t want to be. We close with advice about becoming more dominant in bed. Viro: Welcome back to Feral Attraction! Joining me as a guest host this week is Klik Wolf. Klik, why don’t you take a moment to introduce yourself? Klik: Hello, I'm klik Wolf. I'm an aspiring indie game dev and adult performer and I've been in the furry fandom for over 8 years but have just recently started getting involved in the community. Introduction topic What forms can sexualization of animals take? Zoophilia Taking a sexual interest in animals Fantasizing about animals or animal parts in a sexual way May include feral art / roleplay Bestiality Having sexual contact with an animal Zoosadism Torturing an animal for the purpose of sexual gratification What are the ethics of having a sexual interest in animals? Should we be tolerant of non-offending zoophiles? What are the ethics of thought crimes? What is the legality? Sexual contact with animals is illegal in many jurisdictions, including most of the United States Hawaii, Kentucky, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Vermont, West Virginia and Wyoming are the only states that lack explicit anti-bestiality laws Toxic Popularity What is the purpose of fandom? The furry fandom was created to be a place where anyone could be accepted and supported, a fandom where people could forget about shallow ideas like popularity and enjoy the company of others without worrying about social pretenses. Unfortunately, many furs don't feel like this is the case. How does popularity in the fandom actually work? What tends to get social media attention Often, things that are quite impersonal Positivity Memes Relatable sentiments Fursuit pics Humor/Puns Smut Porn What tends to make people avoid you Often, things that are quite personal Drama Negativity Contrarianism (unless you’re popular specifically for being a troll) Neediness Desperation Awkwardness Inappropriateness Cliques Many groups of friends in the fandom are essentially by invitation only It can be frustrating to attempt to befriend someone who is part of a clique The value of a clique lies in there being an “outgroup” of people who supposedly “aren’t worthy” of being in You do not need to internalize the message that you “aren’t worthy” just because a particular clique seems closed off to you What are the downsides of popularity? Haters Some people will be envious of you and will take a dislike to you, or even work to sabotage you Extra scrutiny Lots of eyes and ears on you means people notice your mistakes (microaggressions, moments of weakness/anger, etc.) Tone policing Can feel like you need to wear a mask, not be “human” Prejudice People who know you by reputation can form first impressions of you without you ever actually meeting them Can create a sense of paranoia Emotional bandwidth Fan interactions / fan service can become extremely draining and allow little time/energy for personal/intimate relationships How do you want to show up in the fandom? Why do you want to be popular? Attention? Sexual partner selection? Influence? Legacy? Power? What would popularity actually bring you? Weigh pros/cons How much of your “true self” are you willing to lose? How can you show up in a likable but authentic way? How else can you create the emotions you’re after? Who do you really want to be well liked by? Feedback “I just found your podcasts the other day through Culturally F’d. You guys do a wonderful service for humanity and the anthro community. Life’s been fucking dark so I look forward to the new episodes and I’m speechless for how this fandom is matured. Without a doubt, thank you for everything you do, seriously. In just about 6 months I returned to being a furry after like 10 years, and everywhere I look I see so much to fucking love in this community. Especially resistance regaining ground against empire. Seems so unreal.” - Daisy Question(s) What is the first step to going from being a submissive to becoming a dominant in bed? After five years, my boyfriend wants to have me dominate and take control. I’m a little nervous and really unsure of how to start to ease into the role without becoming overwhelmed. Received via Contact Form (name withheld) FA 023 BDSM Roles Demystified: https://www.feralattraction.com/shownotes/fa023 Learning to be more dominant in bed advice column: Closer Contact info Contact Viro: Telegram: t.me/viroscicollie Twitter: twitter.com/viroscicollie Contact Klik: Telegram: t.me/Klik2097 Twitter: https://twitter.com/klik2097 (warning: 18+ NSFW) Feral Attraction Twitter: Feral Attraction Contact Page: Coaching Services now available! As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service! For more information, visit: feralattraction.com/coaching Other business Patreon Joel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/ | |||
| FA 107 Friendship | 18 Sep 2018 | 01:31:11 | |
Feral Attraction Intro On this week’s show we open with a discussion of the history of happiness, and why happiness may be elusive. Soatok Dhole joins us to discuss our main topic, friendship — what is a good friendship, when is the right time to distance yourself from a friend, and how do you revive a fading friendship worth saving? We close with a question about how to handle developing feelings for a straight roommate. Introduction topic A history of happiness explains why capitalism makes us feel empty inside Sean Illing - Vox Topic What is friendship? “Essential and fundamental to friendship is that it is a natural, spontaneous, freely given and entered into relationship promised as much on subliminal cues that prompt liking as on anything that the parties could specify as a reason for engaging in it” – philosopher AC Grayling Friend vs. friendly acquaintance Common to both: People who make you a better person People who you enjoy spending time with People who you have a history of shared experience with People who share your values, your hobbies, your interests, and/or your kinks Unique to friends: People you can trust People you can confide in People you can be yourself around Loyalty Problems arise when you expect loyalty from someone you considered a friend, but who views you as a friendly acquaintance What is a bad friendship? “Our friends aren’t toxic — they’re just human” Ephrat Livni - Quartz https://qz.com/1352437/our-friends-arent-toxic-theyre-just-human/ Many people argue a “bad friend” is one who consistently brings you down or holds you back “The current cultural discourse suggests that friends are people who we use to improve ourselves, and get rid of when the going gets tough or if we’re not having enough fun. … It’s friendship as a capitalistic exchange, instead of relationships involving people who care about each other, hanging out, and helping each other through life’s ups and downs.” This philosophy leads many people to treat their friends as disposable, and to abandon them when they need support and are not contributing to the friendship — right when they need a friend the most It is important to remember the golden rule in friendship, and to treat others as we’d like to be treated You wouldn’t want to be abandoned during a time of hardship when you couldn’t be there for your friends as much as you’d like to be Abandoning a friend at the first sign of conflict or distress in the relationship will leave you with very few friends It is often worth it to attempt to reconcile or ignore certain conflicts for the sake of maintaining an otherwise valuable friendship Friends who consistently do not support you, who do not share your values, and who have a history of being unreliable may be less worthy of continued or increased investment of time and other resources In some circumstances, it can be worthwhile to invest in old friendships even when values and goals have drifted apart, for the sake of having someone who can “ground you” in your own history It is difficult for new friends to offer the same level of insight that old friends can provide to you If you have many old friends, and a particular friendship is no longer offering benefit to either of you, it is okay to let a friendship turn back into a friendly acquaintanceship Keep in mind: people change over time (and that’s ok!) What is a good friendship? In general, it is wise to invest in friends who: Share your values Support you as you pursue your goals Point out your weaknesses and mistakes in a loving way It can be tempting to seek friends who tell you everything you do is awesome, but it’s wise to have a few close friends who can call you on your mistakes Assume good faith: When your close friends suggest you’ve done something wrong, it is generally because they care about your success, and not because they want to put you down Have a history of being trustworthy and reliable It isn’t all about you “Real friendship is a kind of love, writes philosopher Bennet Helm. As such, it must ‘involve a concern for your friend for his sake and not for your own.’” It isn’t a great idea to be friends only with people who tell you everything you do is good “A true friend didn’t just flatter and please. Quite the contrary, their value lie in the fact that they sometimes corrected or fought with their pals, to whom they’d give their all.” Criticism that comes from a place of loyalty and respect, with the intent of making you a more authentic version of yourself, is very different from someone tearing you down When you’re around a good friend, you should feel liberated to act with authenticity. How do you revive a friendship? How to Revive a Friendship Anna Goldfarb — The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/26/smarter-living/how-to-revive-a-friendship.html Start by “identifying what variables, if any, have changed since your falling out.” “Maybe you’re in a more stable place in life and are confident you can be a better, more attentive friend this time around.” “Thinking about the reasons you grew apart and how things might be different now can help you take the steps needed to rebuild a closer and longer lasting friendship.” Make the first move! If neither of you reach out, you won’t talk Being vulnerable and honest about missing your former friend can help you reconnect if they’re feeling the same way Be prepared for rejection Game out what you’d say and what you’d do to feel better if you are rejected Assume good faith It’s possible your friend would love to talk to you, but the thought just hasn’t occurred to them, because many other things are on their mind It’s harmless to remind them you exist and would like to talk Establish interest in re-establishing the friendship before jumping into emotionally difficult topics Go in as if this were a new friendship Start small with light topics and catching up on what is new with each of you Good topics for conversation are anecdotes and requests for advice that focus on what is shared between you right now Similar life experiences Places you’ve both been to Where you are in life Location Career Lifestyle/Living Situation Try socializing at first in a group setting Game night Movie night Dinner party Outing to a park for a hike or picnic Try to present your best self This will remind your former friend what they liked about you to begin with It isn’t always possible to get back to the same level of friendship you had before Be willing to accept a less intimate relationship, at least at first Feedback None for this week Question(s) I live with my best friend, who is a straight male. I am a gay male furry, and I am crushing hard on the the friend that I live with. How can I continue to be friends with him given the feelings I cannot share? Received via Telegram (name withheld) Closer Contact info Contact Viro: Contact Soatok: https://twitter.com/SoatokDhole Feral Attraction Twitter: Feral Attraction Contact Page: Coaching Services now available! As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service! For more information, visit: feralattraction.com/coaching Other business Patreon Joel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/ | |||
| FA 099 Protecting Your Online Identity | 01 Feb 2018 | 02:16:15 | |
Hello Everyone! We open this week's show with a discussion on recent studies into cuckolding. A recent article in CNN goes through the potential benefits of cuckolding as researched in an academic article co-authored by friend of the show and agony uncle expert, Dan Savage! Our main topic is on protecting your online identity. We bring on our friend, Soatok (https://twitter.com/SoatokDhole) who is an expert on Information Security, and he leads us on a terrifying discussion on how insecure your information online might be and ways you can mitigate against having anything stolen. We close out the show with a question on poly-quads. While triads are more popular and accessible for people in the poly community, what happens when two couples get together to form a quad? Is it swinging or something more? For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 098 All Questions Show Vol 9 | 25 Jan 2018 | 01:26:58 | |
Hello Everyone! Welcome to our first episode of 2018! Thank you for your continued support this year and we hope that this is a year filled with love and laughter for you and yours. We open this week's discussion with a review of 2018 so far. We briefly touch on Further Confusion and our panel and party there, and have a brief discussion of our respective vacations, cover bands, and how we use the support we get from our Patrons in order to grow our event schedule and make it out to more panel opportunities. We then shift into our ninth all questions show! We've received a ton of email during our time away and we wanted to address some of the backlog. We go over questions ranging from long distance libido, sexual insecurity, and how to stop chafing your junk when you dry hump. It's a sexy question time this week on Feral Attraction! For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 097 Journaling and Self Reflection | 28 Dec 2017 | 01:29:30 | |
Hello Everyone! We open this week's show with a reflection of our year. We talk about the show, areas we want to improve in the year to come, and the important highlights in our lives. We find it's important to look at the good moments and find ways to cultivate more of them moving forward, especially in a year that was difficult for many of our listeners. Our main topic is a continuation on our yearly retrospective: journaling and self reflection. We talk about how and why we journal, and detail two different styles that are commonly used: Bullet Journaling and Emotional Intelligence Journaling. We go through the strengths of both styles and how these can be used to focus your life, focus your strengths, and aid you in living an intentional, uninhibited life. As this is the final show of the year we at Feral Attraction wish you and those in your life a 2018 that is fulfilled with love and laughter. We will be back in Mid-January with our first episode of Season 3. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 096 Cuckolding and Hotwifeing | 21 Dec 2017 | 01:48:58 | |
Hello Everyone! We open this week's show with a discussion of social media and health. During the end of the year it can be a time of social anxiety and depression, especially for those of us encountering the cold, dark, winter months. We talk about a recent study that shows how social media can be used as a means of finding support but cautions about what can happen when that support becomes your sole means of communication. Our main topic this week is on Cuckholding and Hotwifeing. While you might refer to Hotwifeing as Hothusbanding or Hotspousing, we tend to use Hotwifeing but mean it in a neutral fashion. We talk about the differences between Cuckholding and Hotwifeing, how to safely and sanely get involved in either, and what the ultimate risks for this kink are. We also touch on the fun part of "why do people enjoy humiliation". This is a fun discussion about an often ridiculed and misunderstood portion of the kink community with serious undertones of the dangerous elements involved when you introduce a bull into the china shop that is your relationship. We close out the show with a question on selfishness: our questioner is worried and feels guilty whenever they act in selfishness in their relationship. Should they be more selfless, or is there a way to practice ethical selfishness without turning into Ayn Rand? For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. As a programming note next week will be our last episode of the year and we will be taking the first two weeks of 2018 off for vacation and business related travels. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 095 All Questions Show Vol 8 | 14 Dec 2017 | 02:20:16 | |
Hello Everyone! We open this week's show with a discussion of MFF. We wanted to talk about our panel, our party, what went right, and what the plans moving forward for future conventions will be. As MFF is now the world's largest furry convention we wanted to spend a little bit of time talking about it and having Viro share his experiences in lieu of a serious top of the show. We then dive headfirst into our eighth all questions show. We cover topics from choosing between potential lovers, to divorce, to handling jealousy when your partners find more sexual outlets than you do in your open, polyamorous relationship. We also open up a bit about our lives and ways that we've overcome obstacles that many of our questioners are currently facing. We close out the show with some feedback from the questioner in Episode 094 as well as a voicemail feedback on topics discussed in Episode 093. A minor correction: Metriko talks about a strip club in Tampa named 2001 Odyssey, however in the episode he refers to it as Sex Odyssey 3000. Mea culpa. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 094 Sexual Etiquette | 30 Nov 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone! We open this week's show with a discussion on a comic concerning cuckholding from Oh Joy Sex Toy! We go over what cuckholding is and why there has been heightened focus on people who are cucks within the past few years. What starts out as a lighthearted discussion almost turned into a full episode's worth of content. Stay tuned for a future show on cuckholding because we have a lot to say on this topic! Our main topic is on Sexual Etiquette. While we've discussed more of the varsity ideals of sex, we realized that we had not had a talk about the basics. An oversight on our behalf has turned into a discussion of best practices, of things you can ask, look for, and try to do. We talk about mistakes we've made, ways we've learned, and whether or not you should "superman that hoe". We close out the show with a question on breaking up. Our questioner has more to lose than romance if he breaks up with his boyfriend-- should he keep in a relationship he wants to end in order to keep the additional benefits? For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 093 Family Relationships | 16 Nov 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone! We open this week's show with a discussion on marijuana and sex drive. Conventional wisdom says that the more you smoke pot the less likely you are to be active at anything, sex included. However, recent studies show that daily users of pot tend to have more sex than average. We discuss why this might be and why more research is needed. Our main topic is on family. During the holiday season a lot of us will be returning home to visit family, friends, and other people we grew up with. As young adults (or burgeoning adults) we have to begin to transition our mindset from that of a child to that of an independent adult. How can we accomplish this in a way that is ethical and empathetic. You also might be in the position of being a teenager living at home. How can you work with your parents to find a way to meet your wants while also meeting their needs? We close out the show with some feedback on reduced cost mental health services and a question on how to handle an abusive parent when you are a younger teen. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 092 Porn and Self-pleasure in a Relationship | 02 Nov 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
We open this week's episode with a discussion on stoicism. On the show we've often discussed the tenants of stoicism in a general sense, however we recently found an article that we thought would be a great introduction for people who want to learn more about this school of thought. We talk about our lives and how we've grown from being more stoic in our approach to the hardships of life.
Our main topic is on porn and masturbation. One of the common pitfalls that relationships can encounter is the usage of porn or of self-stimulation without your mate(s) being around or being aware. We talk about when to discuss porn usage, how to discuss it, and why porn and masturbation may not, in itself, be the villain it is often made out to be.
We close out the show with a question on finding romantic love. Our questioner wants a relationship but he can't find one using the apps he has. Is he looking for love in all the wrong places, or is he perhaps wrong in how he is approaching it.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 091 Communication / NVC ability Mismatches | 25 Oct 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
We open this week's show with a discussion of a recent article in the New York Times concerning the rise of anxiety amongst American youth. We look at recent studies done that try to explain the sources of anxiety that we face in the modern day, as well as ways we can work to counteract it in our everyday lives.
Our main topic is on Communication Mismatches. After a discussion in our Telegram group concerning relationships where communication styles are not complementary (especially in regard to Nonviolent Communication), we wanted to go over this in more detail. What are the more common types of communication styles, how can they be improved on, and what do you do in a relationship where the communication styles are so different the relationship turns combative more often than not.
We close out the show with a question on breaking up. A younger questioner is blocked from talking to his boyfriend by potentially homophobic parents. Should he break up or not?
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 090 Getting a Derailed Convention Back on Track | 18 Oct 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
We open this week's show with a discussion on video games and sex ed. Is there room for crafted video games and smart phone apps that target vulnerable teenagers who may not have the best access to a sex-positive education about sexual health?
Our main topic is on getting a derailed convention back on track. Over the past two weeks we have discussed how to get to a con and what to do at a con: this week is all about what to do when something goes wrong at a con. We talk about mitigation strategies for commonly encountered issues from injury, hangover, hotel room issues, travel delays, and more. It's a conversational show as we talk about situations we've been in personally and ways that we have overcome them.
We close out the show with feedback on volunteering at a convention and a question on seeking love when you believe yourself to be undeserving of affection.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 106 Reconnecting With Family | 15 Aug 2018 | 00:43:56 | |
Introduction topic THE MOST RELAXING VACATION YOU CAN TAKE IS GOING NOWHERE AT ALL Ephrat Livni - Quartzy https://qz.com/quartzy/1342058/the-most-relaxing-vacation-you-can-take-is-going-nowhere-at-all/ Importance of unstructured time “Dolce far niente” - the sweet joy of doing nothing “Remaining close to home—or just in it, hanging out—leaves you refreshed and provides perspective. And it may be the key to your next great idea.” Become comfortable with being alone with yourself; wherever you go, your self comes with! Take time to be present and enjoy wherever you are avoid having a completionist mindset of ticking boxes just to say you’ve been somewhere Topic When is it a good idea to step away from family? Toxic behavior Emotional blackmail/coercion Abusive/threatening behavior Lack of acceptance Need to create space to establish own values/priorities Why reconnect with family? Source of stability/constancy in your life Reconnecting with unconditional love underlying family bonds Greater understanding of self (family of origin) If they loved you before, they can love you again Support Structure When is the right time to reconnect with family? Financial independence Stable, independent living situation no risk, nothing to lose if your family chooses to reject you. After time to heal / develop “new normal” “Most parents prefer having a gay son to no son at all” Times of crisis (family member ill/dying) How to reconnect with family Non-violent communication Provide “first-aid” empathy Seek to understand before seeking to be understood Express your feelings and needs without placing blame or judgement on your family members Look for a “win-win” “My lifestyle is not the same as your lifestyle, but both are okay, and we can choose to live the life that we want” Look for ways to spend time together that will meet everyone’s needs Don’t rush it, go at your own pace Reconnection isn’t going to happen overnight Feedback None for this week Question(s) What are some of the best techniques you could offer to help get over a toxic relationship? Doesn’t matter if it’s romantic or friends. Self-empathy Self-care Choosing to control what you can (your actions/perceptions/interpretations) and release control of what you cannot (your abuser’s past actions, what your abuser does now) Forgive your abuser (even if you don’t let them know) Empathy and understanding can lessen pain Forgiveness does not absolve someone of being responsible for their actions or of being held accountable Forgive yourself for allowing the abuse to happen as long as it did You are only capable of doing your best at any given moment, given the information you have It is impossible to make a mistake; mistake is a judgement applied to an action after it has occurred Figure out what you were getting from the toxic relationship Try to figure out how you can get these needs met in a healthier way Be mindful not to enter into a relationship with someone very like your previous partner We are often attracted to what feels familiar, not what feels good Closer Contact info Contact Viro: t.me/viroscicollie twitter.com/viroscicollie Contact Rhythm: twitter.com/Rhythm_Fox t.me/RhythmFox Feral Attraction Twitter: twitter.com/feralattractfm Feral Attraction Contact Page: feralattraction.com/contact Coaching Services now available! As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service! For more information, visit: feralattraction.com/coaching Other business Patreon Joel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/ | |||
| FA 089 Feral Attraction Guide to Convention Attendance | 11 Oct 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
We open this week's show with a discussion on the difficulty of admitting fault. We look into an article that analyzes why we as people are unlikely to seek responsibility for our mistakes and shortcomings. Is this an issue of the ego or is it something deeper, and how can this harm us in the long run?
Our main topic is our F.A.G. to Convention Attendance. With last week covering how to plan for the convention, this week we talk about how to enjoy a convention to the best of your ability. Part recap, part conversational, this is a show meant for newcomers to conventions. Spoiler: next week we talk about when the convention plans go awry and how to triage that.
We close with some feedback on our previous episodes and a question on admitting love in the face of difficulty-- our questioner is closeted, unsure of his sexuality, and unsure how his friends and family will react if he follows through on his feelings for another male. What is he to do?
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 088 Planning Your First Con | 04 Oct 2017 | 01:34:13 | |
Hello Everyone!
We open this week's show with a discussion of an article on nonviolent communication. A relationship counselor spoke of the power of the word 'ouch', which at first glance sounds rather strange, but in examination this word has the form of an emotional safeword with the power to potentially shift an argument into an empathetic, vulnerable discussion that leads to resolution.
Our main topic is on Planning Your First Con. While Feral Attraction is a show about relationships, it is also a show about the furry fandom. We have gotten several questions from listeners who are interested in attending their first con, and we have decided to do a two part episode on conventions in this lead up to convention season. In this episode we talk about how to choose and budget for your first ever convention. While not a super sexy episode, we hope that this helps everyone in their planning process.
We close out the show with a question on roleplay. The questioner loves sending yiffy pictures and then having sexy talk with the people he's exchanging the pictures with. His boyfriend doesn't want him to have those conversations and would like for him to just send and receive those pictures. Neither of them can see eye to eye-- what can they do?
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 087 Lifestyling Furry | 27 Sep 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
We open this week's show with a discussion on depression and mindfulness. Conventional treatment for depression and anxiety has worked under the impression that it is due to a skewed view of stressed from the past or present, but recent research shows that we become more anxious or depressed over false visions and fortune telling of what the future might hold. We take a look into an analysis of a book concerning this topic, Homo Prospectus, and what it might hold for future treatment of these conditions.
Our main topic is on lifestyling. Within the furry fandom, the idea of lifestying often tends to come accompanied with derision or words of caution about being "too furry". We talk about why lifestyling can be fun and fulfilling, how to go about it, and how to balance it out with your own life responsibilities to ensure you don't neglect your life outside of the fandom. We also discuss ways you can get into lifestyling with other communities like BDSM.
We close out this week's episode with a question on asexual dating. A straight, ace male is worried that he will not find a partner that can look after his periodic kinks and general submissiveness. We talk about the virtues of sex workers and why looking for a relationship is not always the solution to improving yourself.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 086 Regret Sex | 20 Sep 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
We open this week's show with a discussion on the faulty science currently being used on US College Campuses to investigate and adjudicate sexual assault. While well purposed, the science cited by several leaders in the newer movements to protect college students from sexual assault is in several cases outdated, under researched, or incorrect in application. The impact of this ranges from sexual abusers finding loopholes to avoid legal prosecution to innocent bystanders getting caught up and forced to change their entire lives as a result. We take a look at part two of a three part series published on The Atlantic concerning this issue and the ramifications it has for college aged students and their sex lives.
Our main topic for the week dovetails from the top of the show and discusses sex regret. Oftentimes we as consenting, sexually active individuals have sexual encounters that, the morning after, we find ourselves feeling less than enthused that it happened. We talk about why this is, whether it is normal, and ways you can shake it off.
We close out this weeks show with some feedback from last week's fictiophilia question and a new question: what do you do when you find out your boyfriend has not just another secret boyfriend, but multiple secret boyfriends?
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 085 All Questions Show Vol 7 | 14 Sep 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
On this week's show we open with a discussion on Mobile Phones and relationships. In recent years, studies show that the higher the level of technoference (technological interference) in your relationship, the less fulfilled and happy you are in it. We talk about why this is and ways you can prevent phubbing (phone snubbing) your lover when you want to check your Twitter DMs.
Our main topic this week is all questions-- it's our seventh all questions show! We answer questions on topics of Fictiophilia, Expectations, Entitlement, Relationship Goals, and Potential Abusive Behavior. It's a wild ride as we tackle some of the more difficult questions we have in our queue.
We close out the show with some feedback from an individual who, in past years, was in a relationship with a Pick Up Artist. She offers her insight and advice on the community.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 084 Pick Up Artists | 30 Aug 2017 | 01:26:35 | |
Hello Everyone!
Metriko here! On this week's show Viro had a schedule conflict, so I'm solo-hosting.
I open with a discussion on passion. I had a conversation late last week with my roommate about why I do this show (when it takes up a majority of my time) and I realized that all-too-often we downplay or apologize for the things we are passionate about. I talk about never apologizing for your passions and how to balance a work/life ratio to ensure you don't neglect your well-being.
My main topic this week is on Pick Up Artists (PUAs). I wanted to talk about them because I think they are unethical assholes, and the methods that they offer prey not only on misconceptions, but also the vulnerable. With the fandom being a wonderful, liminal experience, it becomes important that we speak about unethical behavior when it comes to finding dates and fuckbuddies. While PUAs are primarily males that want to have sex with females, it is important to note that the techniques and skills that they practice are used in the LGBTQ+ community as well.
I talk in generalities about what they practice, what they teach, and why all of this is bad in the short and long run. I talk about the fallacies of the law of averages, and why the skills they have may not pay the bills.
I don't close out with a question this evening, but try to tie everything together with some feedback about denying interest or passion and how a listener was able to move forward with pursuing their interests thanks to the show. Next week, to compensate for the lack of a question, we have our seventh all questions show.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 083 DIY BDSM | 23 Aug 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
On this week's show we open with a discussion on valedictorians in high school. With so many people focused on finding a mate that has scholastic success we look into a study done of high school valedictorians and where they end up in life. Much like our previous discussions on success, this one might surprise you!
Our main topic is on DIY BDSM. With so many furries interested in the world of BDSM and with limited income, it can be a difficult choice between a steamy piece of art or a steamy piece of leather. For some, pre-fashioned gear lacks a personal touch, or maybe you want to remake that scene in Ghost (except with a whip instead of pottery). Fortunately, BDSM equipment is easy enough to fashion or, in some cases, a little imagination can convert common household items into playtoys (we call those pervertables). We discuss ways you can safely, sanely, and consensually fashion toys for use in your home without breaking the budget (or yourself)!
We close out the show with a question on selfish love. Our questioner loses arousal doing foreplay his partner loves: is there a middle ground to be had?
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 082 Furry Sex! Yiff! | 18 Aug 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
On this week's show we open with a serious discussion on forgiveness in the fandom. After the events in Charlottesville, we talk about the radical, racist elements in the fandom. It's no secret that we at Feral Attraction stand with those who stand against bigotry, racism, and hateful elements within the fandom (and at large), however the question of how to forgive people who were misguided participants in these groups has come up. How do we forgive those who, through misguided judgement or a perverse search for acceptance, found themselves on the wrong side of history?
We shift to a less serious main topic on Furry Sex and Yiff! While slightly academic, we talk about why we have sex. The secret answer is that we aren't entirely certain. We go over some theories and then launch into a discussion on what the future of sex looks like and why we, as furries, might actually be blazing the trail when it comes to the integration of technology and emotional intimacy. We also discuss how real-life, meatspace sex can be different for furries as opposed to mundane individuals and couples.
We close out the show with a question on small penis shame. For men who have a smaller unit how do they move past shame when their mate (or perhaps a metamour) might have a smaller penis. We talk about why penis size or girth is not important and how to accept 'yes' as an answer.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 081 Underwear and Sex Party Etiquette | 09 Aug 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
We open this week's show with a discussion about extramarital sex and relationships. Research likes to show that the older you get the more likely you are to engage in extramarital relationships. We discuss why the research might be biased against ethical polyamory and tear apart an article on the subject.
Our main topic is on Underwear and Sex Party Etiquette. For individuals at conventions or seeking play events within their local communities, the idea of a party centered around sex or mutual appreciation can seem rather overwhelming at first. We talk about what the do's and do not's are, as well as go over how to properly attend and organize such an event.
We close out the show with a question on guilt. For many people who have hurt others (either intentionally or not), the sensation of guilt after you have made amends can take some time to overcome. We talk about how you can move past your own feelings of guilt and shame and the role of ritual in healing and cleansing.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 080 First Times | 03 Aug 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
On this week's show we start with Metriko talking about transparency, politics, relationships, and the honesty and vulnerability required to make your life a more genuine, fulfilling one. We make fun of Scarmucci, Streisand, and the fallacy of transparency equating to absolution.
Our main topic is on First Times. Continuing our summer of conversation and introspection we discuss our first times and how they went great (but, really, how awful they were). We also give some advice on what the best practices are for a positive first time experience. Part whimsical, part sentimental, and entirely too much information, it promises to be a a fun trip down memory lane.
We close out the show with some feedback on murrsuit care as well as a question on how to break up with a clingy past relationship partner who refuses to dampen the flame of their desire for you.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 105 Choosing Your Values | 01 Aug 2018 | 01:37:56 | |
Introduction topic Rebooting the show Update on what’s been happening during the hiatus Explaining the new format Topic What Are Values? “a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life” - Google Dictionary We use our values to make judgements, particularly judgements of good and bad or right and wrong Chase’s perspective on values Personal constitution or bill of rights Values (In Combination with Morals and Ethics) form a personal doctrine by which to live Affects all decisions in Life Much like Laws, can be changed but it is a difficult process Where Do Our Values Come From? Parents Peers Friends Relationship partners Society Society at large Subcultures we participate in Types of Values Fear-based values Values based on fear are those that cause you to take action in order to avoid something Think “have to” Common fear-based values Safety / Security Absence of pain Avoidance of conflict/confrontation Physical appearance Power/Control Privacy Religousity (fear of hell) Recognition / Respect Knowledge (based in fear of the unknown) Consciousness-based values What do we mean by consciousness? Consciousness is your awareness of who you *really* are, as opposed to the “you” that you believe yourself to be, or the you that you were taught you were supposed to be Consciousness-based values are those that cause you to take action to bring something desirable into your world Think “want to” Common consciousness-based values: Pleasure/sensuality (as opposed to absence of pain) Freedom (as opposed to security) “Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” - Ben Franklin Achievement Vs recognition (internal to self) Leadership Vs. control/management Adventure/novelty Autonomy Spirituality (vs. religiousity, internal/external) Chase Wolf: Notes on his experiences growing up in a religious household and finding spirituality outside of that setting. Personal growth Intimacy (vs privacy) Community A metavalue; valuing others who share your values Important to know what your values are and what those of your community are to know whether it’s a good fit If a conflict in values are present: Accept paying the “price of admission” to be part of the community and tolerate the difference Examine your values, and decide whether yours should change Choose not to be a part of the community, and find a community that is a better fit for you Chase Wolf: Notes on changes in the Gamer Community values and the impacts thereof. Self-expression Fulfillment Truth Justice Knowledge (based in curiosity, as opposed to fear of the unknown) Chase Wolf: Notes on his curiosity in understanding the ABDL/Baby-Fur community allowing a shift in opinion Having fear-based values is not necessarily a bad thing, but as a general rule, happier people tend to hold more consciousness-based values than fear-based values Chase Wolf: Often, fear-based values are those instilled in us by friends, family, and society. Choosing Your Values Think of each new moment as a fresh opportunity to decide who you want to be; the greatest freedom is the freedom of choice “It is better to follow the voice inside and be at war with the whole world, than to follow the ways of the world and be at war with your deepest self” - Counselor and educator Michael Pastore What are your values? What situations or conflicts make you highly emotional, either positively or negatively? Think about what value was respected in the situations that made you feel positively Think about what value was not respected in the situations that made you feel negatively Empowering questions to ask yourself: What am I unwilling to tolerate? What am I unwilling to give up? What recharges my batteries? What really makes me feel excited? What experiences or activities have the most meaning for me? Why do I “need” the things I tell myself I need? When do I compromise my values? Why? What keeps me going when times get tough? Where is there a gap between who I am and who I really know myself to be? Why choose new values? When different values conflict with one another Reconciling values with a relationship partner or a community When acting according to a certain value just doesn’t feel right When you realize a value is coming from outside, and isn’t something you really care about When a particular value is constantly transgressed, to the point that it is draining your energy and emotional bandwidth When failing to live up to a value is causing you great deals of shame, guilt, anger, anxiety, or fear How Chase changed his values to serve him better How changes in Chase’s values allowed him to overcome issues in his life Values Assessment Tool https://www.dropbox.com/s/qg8hegtswsullwk/Values%20Assessment.doc?dl=0 Feedback None for this week Question(s) Subject: Mates now metamours My two mates recently broke up with each other leaving me in the middle. One mate is desperately clinging to me and the other is constantly offering advice on how to keep my other relationship healthy. How do I just let things happen without the other thinking they had a hand in it? Received via contact form (anonymous) Closer Contact info Contact Viro: t.me/viroscicollie twitter.com/viroscicollie Contact Chase: twitter.com/Chase_WolfBTG wolf4life.bandcamp.com Feral Attraction Twitter: twitter.com/feralattractfm Feral Attraction Facebook: facebook.com/feralattractfm Feral Attraction Contact Page: feralattraction.com/contact Coaching Services now available! As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro or Metriko in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service! For more information, visit feralattraction.com/coaching. Other business Patreon Joel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/ | |||
| FA 079 Murrsuits | 19 Jul 2017 | ||
Hello everyone!
On this week's show we open with the segment that Viro had on the Savage Lovecast with Dan Savage. We discuss why Metriko was not involved (it's okay) and what our intended points were. Thanks again to Dan Savage and his team for allowing us to air this content for you to enjoy.
Our main topic is on murrsuits. We discuss the practicality and the acceptability of the murrsuit. We discuss the difference between modified fursuits and murrsuits, whether they should be worn in public, and how to take care of your suit. It's another dive into the deep end as we go into one of the more popular (and scandalous) fetishes in the furry fandom.
We close out the show with two questions: one on dating if you are neurologically atypical, the other on how to date someone who comes from a traditional family that does not approve of your relationship-- at what point should you dump your bride to be when their family is abusive?
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 078 Sex Mistakes and Hot Takes | 12 Jul 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
This week we open with a conversation on weed. Many people think that it is strictly for relaxation or for creativity, but are there applications for marijuana in the bedroom as an aphrodisiac? We look at a study and try to remove the stigma from sativa.
Our main topic is a relaxed show. In response to last year's episode on our relationship mistakes, many people think that we are masters of sex. This is not the case. We talk about problems, errors, mistakes, and negative situations we've come across in our sex play throughout our life? Want to hear about the time that Viro had his dick pepper sprayed? About the time a guy laughed at a commercial and voided all over Metriko's bed? Want to take pleasure in our past miseries? This is your episode!
We close out the show with two questions: one on getting over negativity, the other on finding affordable sex toys and fetish gear.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 077 Poly/Mono Mixed Relationships | 07 Jul 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
This week we open with a discussion on the nine habits of emotionally intelligent people. On this show we like to talk about stoicism and pragmatism, but healthy relationships also take a good deal of emotional intelligence to ensure that you fight the right fights and cultivate your own integrity and moral compass. While clickbait-y in nature, we go over an article concerning these habits.
Our main topic is on Polyamorous and Monogamous Mixed Relationships. What happens when a monogamous individual dates a polyamorous individual who seeks other partners? What happens when one partner wants to keep the relationship closed but the other wants it to be open? We discuss our own experiences in relationships of this style, the pitfalls and warning signs to look out for, and ways to make this relationship style as healthy and ethical as possible.
We close out the show with two questions: one on erectile dysfunction, the other on a friend's fiance being potentially abusive. At what point do you abandon your friends when they make potentially destructive choices for their own life?
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 076 - Sensual Touch and Erogenous Zones | 21 Jun 2017 | 01:48:58 | |
Hello Everyone!
This week we open with a longer discussion on Gay Pride and the overall LGBT/Queer movement. After discussions on Twitter, Telegram, and other methods with friends and fellow queer individuals, it came to our attention that a lot of the history of queer people has not been shared, taught, or found important. We talk about the importance of queer history and why we must continue to fight for rights for all individuals who share intersectionality with our community.
Our main topic is on sensual touch and erogenous zones. We talk about how to find the parts of your body that you respond to the most, and give you some ideas as to how you can explore these places by yourself or with a mate.
We close out the show with some feedback on last week's Long Distance D/s question, and have a new question from someone who does not find their partner attractive in real life, but thinks that their fursona is super hot. Is there a problem with him, and if so how should he proceed to correct it?
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 075 All Questions Show Vol. 6 | 14 Jun 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
This week we open with a discussion on how to identify ways that your fuckbuddy, roleplay partner, or new romantic interest might not be into you. We look at an article from Grindr's blog (yes, we read it for the articles) concerning five ways to identify how he might just not be into you. We then tack on our own five and give examples from our own lives.
Our main section this week is our sixth All Questions Show! We cover a diverse range of topics, from how to decide between two potential lovers, to how to go about making friends in real life when no one seems to like you, to whether or not it is okay to not be interested in someone because of a perceived gap in intelligence. We offer our advice and, as always, invite you to offer your own takes on these issues.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 074 All Questions Show Vol. 5 | 07 Jun 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
This week we open with a discussion on Social Media and self-confidence. We look at recent studies from Princeton University and the University of South Wales that looks into whether or not tailoring your social media accounts and working to get likes and retweets actually acts as a self-confidence booster. Not to spoil you, but the answer is no, it does not.
Our main portion of the show is our fifth All-Questions Show! We take a trip through our backlog of questions, ranging from helping a younger fur in a conservative household with dating advice, to how to ensure your genuine self is being portrayed to potential partners online, to materials and resources for a couple wanting to slightly open up their relationship. Several of these questions are longer and, as always, we invite you to offer your feedback and offer your own take, especially if you think we missed the mark.
We close out the show with some feedback on our previous episode's question on how to remain optimistic when you feel like your life has been put on hold.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 073 Short Term Relationships | 31 May 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
We open this week's show with a discussion on low self-esteem and sacrifice. We look at research that shows that the lower the self-esteem one has, the higher the level of resentment that one can feel at the sacrifices one make in a relationship. We discuss ways to avoid these feelings of resentment and how to avoid making positive reinforcement a transactional reaction.
Our main topic is on Short Term Relationships. We talk about Summer Loving and how to have a blast. Many people like to look down on short term relationships as they are "temporary" and "fleeting", but we at Feral Attraction believe that you shouldn't measure a relationship by the length of time or the depth of commitment but by how happy you and your partner(s) are made within the relationship.
We close out this week's show with two questions: one on polyamorous parenting and dating, and the other on how to move forward and remain optimistic in a life that makes you feel like you are on pause while everyone is moving ahead of you.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 072 Outdoor Sex and Other Thrills | 24 May 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
We open this week's show with a discussion on sexting. Mainstream media likes to report on the fact that sexting is corrupting our youth and pushing us to make uninformed sex choices and practice unsafe (and possibly illegal) behaviors. We look at research that analyzes whether such a correlation exists and, if so, what can we do to stop the spread of evil sexting (spoiler: there is no such correlation and sexting is pretty swell).
Our main topic is on exhibitionism and other thrills. All too often we at Feral Attraction are asked why people like having sex outside, or why we think it's okay for people to wear tame BDSM gear at conventions, or why we think it's okay for people to privately engage in kink in public. We go through why people might like exhibitionism, what to look out for, and share stories about times where we've skirted the law on these issues.
We close out the show with a classic situation: furry meets furry, furry likes furry, but furry doesn't know what furry looks like in real life. How can you ask people you've met online to send you a picture of them in person without coming off like a superficial creep. We examine this (and talk about AOL Chatrooms: a/s/l, pic s2r, hyd).
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 071 All-Questions Show Vol. 4 | 17 May 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
This week we open with a discussion on negative and positive thinking. We go through an article on how negativity can impact your overall health, and ways that medical professionals and researchers advise that you can make your overall health better.
Our main topic is our fourth All-Questions Show! We take a trip through our backlog of questions, ranging from telling a non-fur partner about being furry to how to handle getting possessions back from exes who do not feel they have to return them. Several of these questions are longer and, as always, we invite you to offer your feedback and offer your own take, especially if you think we missed the mark.
We close out the show with some feedback on our Drugs and Alcohol show and how to go about doing drugs in as safe a fashion as possible.
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 070 Drugs and Alcohol | 10 May 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone!
We open this week's show with a discussion on radical honesty. We look at a Buzzfeed video where couples experiment with being totally honest with one another and, after cutting through the crap of the video, talk about ways you can implement some of the ideas they have in your own life and relationships.
Our main topic is on drugs and alcohol. Within the fandom there is a heavy focus on individuals being inebriated or high, and many such activities are praised or sought after as being inclusive in the fandom as a whole. We talk about why this is not optimal for your life or for relationships, how drugs and alcohol have impacted our life (positively and negatively), and offer some advice to new members of the fandom.
It's important to note that if you struggle with substance abuse, please seek help as soon as possible.
We close out this week's show with a question whether it is a good idea to re-establish a friendship with a former partner who might still be carrying a torch for you. Should you proceed with caution, or snuff out that flame?
For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode.
Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 104 Sexual Roles | 29 Mar 2018 | ||
Hello Everyone! We open this week with a discussion on FOSTA. This is an American bill that is soon to become law that is having a chilling effect on how we use the internet, and the impacts are being felt worldwide. We discuss what the bill is, why it's ten types of awful, and how this impacts the furry fandom. We at Feral Attraction would encourage those who feel so inclined to visit the Electronic Frontier Foundation to learn even more and find ways you can resist this awful legislation. Our main topic is on sexual roles. We go over the different axes that are present when it comes to sexual determination and how everything is fluid and in motion. We talk about how the persona you portray becomes your truth and the beacon by which you attract people in your life, how pretense is prologue and determines the lifestyle that you lead, and why it's not a bad idea to experiment with your sexual roles. We close out this episode with a question on poly and friendship. Our questioner is interested in a poly relationship with one of his friend's husband, but his friend doesn't want that. How can he keep his new romantic attachment and his friend? Spoiler alert: he probably can't. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks for everything everyone and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 069 Oral Sex | 03 May 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone! We open this week's show with a discussion of good BDSM Aftercare techniques. We look at an Oh Joy Sex Toy comic that goes over different ways you can help prevent SubDrop (and DomDrop), as well as an explanation as to basic BDSM terminology. Our main topic is on Oral Sex. For episode 69 we invite guest host Koji Fox back onto the show to help us on an adventure of self discovery, dick sucking, labia licking, sexploration. We go over tips, techniques, and ways to improve your oral game. We close out this week's show with a question on being emotionally available and ready for an open relationship. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 068 Disclosure | 26 Apr 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone! On this weeks episode we open with a discussion on rape culture. A recent article nods to the fear of false rape accusations as being a reason why millennials are having less sex. We discuss, and Metriko steps on his words a bit, at the top of the show. Our main topic is on disclosure. We go over the primary reasons and ways to disclose information, whether it's infidelities, diseases, or bad credit. Failure to disclose is, oftentimes, one of the reasons relationships fail. We discuss this, as well as ways we have failed at disclosure, so you can avoid relationship anxieties from this area. We close out the show with a question from someone in an open relationship. He wants a more poly-style relationship, but his partner is hesitant. What should he do? For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 067 Sexuality and Gender Expression Ft. Debra Soh | 19 Apr 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone! We open this week with a discussion on disclosure when dating. A recent study shows that sexual stimuli inspire people to be more vulnerable and forthcoming on themselves and their desires and interests in a partner when it comes to dating and long-term relationships. We discuss this phenomenon and go through why sex may not be as bad on a first date. Our main topic is a discussion on Sexuality and Gender Expression with Debra Soh! Debra is a sex researcher and neuroscientist who writes a weekly column for Playboy and has been published in several other outlets, from Scientific American to the LA Times to the Globe and Mail. You can read a separate interview that Debra had in Quillette earlier this year if you are further interested in her background and areas of focus. As a sexologist, Debra focuses on why people have the sexual interests they have and if there is cause, neurologically, for there to be a predisposition (or even if these paraphilias are hard-wired into the brain). She discusses recent research and findings in these areas, as well as whether this can be applied to gender identity. We also discuss some of the more taboo paraphilias, including "cub" attraction within the fandom. Debra invites all listeners that have questions for her, or if you want to keep up with her recent publications, to visit her Twitter page, @debra_soh. We would like to thank Debra for coming on and sharing her expertise in this. We close out the show a question from a listener who is in a long distance relationship with someone who is entirely incompatible in physical appearance, fetishes, and sexual roles. Do two tops make a bottom, or should the listener break up? Debra helps us out on this involved question. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 066 Shame 3: Direct to VHS | 14 Apr 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone! We open this week's episode with a discussion on monogamy and polyamory. We look at an article recently published on CNN's website that discusses polyamory in a mostly positive light. We go over the highlights, the minor issues, and why articles like this are important in the long run. Our main topic this week is the conclusion of our series on shame. We talk about the common missteps and conflicts that can prohibit you from finding true independence from a shameful existence, like fear of abandonment or betrayal. We then get to the light at the end of the tunnel and go over the steps and actions you must take in order to live a life of genuine self-validation, and how to communicate with your current partners about the path that you feel you must take. We close out the show with a question on long distance relationships and cheating. Our questioner's boyfriend claims that his multiple-personality-disorder is causing him to have an affair, and the questioner wants to know if this passes our smell test. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 065 Shame 2: Electric Boogaloo | 07 Apr 2017 | 01:20:22 | |
Hello Everyone! On this week's episode Metriko is alone as Viro was stuck on an airplane that wouldn't leave thanks to a few tornadoes. Viro made it to Furry Weekend Atlanta and will be back for next week's episode. With that in mind, this episode is slightly more personal and an intimate discussion with Metriko, so please enjoy! We open this week with a discussion on sex in America. Studies are showing that we are having less sex now than we were in 1989: could this be due to stress and working more in this shitty economy? Is Netflix and chill a lie and used solely for marketing (seriously though it's only $9.99). We look at why social media might be impacting your sex life. Our main topic is on shame. Last week we discussed what happens when you grow up with shame and choose to keep that subject secret and hidden from others. This week we discuss what happens when you reveal that shame and live life "openly". Metriko talks about his life when he was outed and how that was not the end of his quest for validation, and what it took for him to realize that he was living a lie. We go on a journey together to discover what it's really for. We close out the show with some feedback from Snares (one of our friends and Patrons)! He wants to know how our response from the Playboy article was, and if it contrasts at all with the feedback he got when he was interviewed for an article himself! Check out the show notes for a link to his interview. Metriko speaks for the show and reminds everyone that if you would like to have us appear in your publication to get into contact with us. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 064 Shame | 29 Mar 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone! On this week's show we open with a discussion on our recent article in Playboy. We go over some of the feedback we've received, explain some of our thoughts on the complaints, and explain why we agreed to give an interview in the first place in as least of a flippant fashion as possible. We also go over some feedback from last week's episode and add in a comic that was published by Oh Joy Sex Toy! which discusses Pup Play in comic format. We totally forgot to mention that-- our bad! Our main topic is on shame. We talk about what shame actually is, how it forms in you as an individual, and what it can do to your life if left unchecked. The first in a three part episode series, this is a personal episode about us as hosts and you as a listener. Let's journey together as we work collectively to undo our faults. We close out the show with a question on sexual intimacy. How can someone have a dick too sensitive to touch but not sensitive enough from penetrative sex to cum? Is there something wrong with him, or is he doomed to never pleasing a sexual partner ever. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 063 Pups and Handlers | 22 Mar 2017 | 01:53:36 | |
Hello Everyone! On this week's show we open with a discussion on five different theories as to why we get jealous in non-monogamous relationships. We go over theories from Freud to Labriola and get to the root to what we personally think on Feral Attraction and why jealousy might not be as bad as we make it out to be. Our main topic is on Pups and Handlers. We bring on friend of the show Pup Powder to talk about his experience with the pup community. He delves into various areas, like who the pup community is right for, what to look for (and look out for), various terms used within the pup community, and addresses why the pup community gets along so well with the furry fandom. He also talks about Rubbout and why it's awesome. We close out the show with some Feedback on how much Metriko talks in an episode and a question on reconciling polyamory with Christianity (or any religion, really). For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 062 Calming Your Emotions | 15 Mar 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone! On this week’s show we open with a discussion on sex-positivity and Orthodox religions. We look at an interview with an Orthodox Jewish couple who lead a double life: religious adherents by day, polyamorous couple by night. We discuss our opinions on their story and ways that it might be dangerous as an example for others. Our main topic is on Calming Your Emotions. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is the joining of Behavioral Therapy, Mindful Meditation, and Stoicism, three areas we have previously discussed. We go over the four pillars of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and discuss ways that you can employ these skills in your life to enhance your relationships with yourself and other people. We close out the show with a question on coming out to your family as bisexual. How do you tell your family that you are bisexual, want to move away, and also are a furry? Better yet- should you tell your family? We discuss the positives and negatives of both options. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 061 Accepting Love as a Damaged Individual | 09 Mar 2017 | 01:34:56 | |
Hello Everyone! We open this week's show with a discussion on how polyamory helps some people love being married. While some people view polyamory and marriage as being mutually exclusive, we look at an article on how polyamory has opened the door to love and longing in a marriage and how to overcome fear and trepidation at saying the things you are most afraid to say. Our main topic is on accepting love as a damaged individual. Within the fandom (and especially the LGBTQ+ community) many people face hardships and abuse. Perhaps it is a parent who hates that you are trans*. Perhaps it is a mate who acts in an abusive fashion. Maybe it is a lifetime of feeling rejected, or not belonging. It could be that you have depression or anxiety issues. Regardless, plenty of people feel that they are too broken, or they have too much baggage, to accept love from anyone or anything. We go over ways to overcome this mindset and to help you as an individual reintegrate within the vast, beautiful kaleidoscope that is love and accepting love. We talk about our own lives, and ways that we overcame (and still work on overcoming) our inner saboteur. It's a heartfelt episode and one of our most requested topics. We close out the show with a question on finding love and friendship when you're shy. Yes, we said there were two questions but, as it turns out, the second question is more involved and we wanted to give it its own space and time to truly dive into. Enjoy the minor gaffe (and later explanation) on this: it's a great episode. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 060 Sexual Roleplay | 02 Mar 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone! We open this week's show with a discussion on a survey that tries to answer the question of what queer singles are looking for. We look into some data to show just how queer singles find dates, how open they are about their sexuality and preferences, and what their views on long term relationship commitments are. Our main topic is on roleplay. As one of our most commonly received questions we wanted to dedicate a show to roleplay etiquette. How do you find an online roleplay partner? What if you're looking for a roleplay partner in meatspace? What are some things to look out for? How do you roleplay responsibly? We go over these, as well as the general dos and do-nots of role play to make you a more well rounded play partner. We close out the show with a question on how to know if you’re losing interest in a mate. In long distance relationships how sustainable is New Relationship Energy, and how can you cultivate intimacy digitally? For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 103 Life Transitions | 22 Mar 2018 | 01:39:40 | |
Hello everyone! We open this week with a discussion on to best mediate conflicts in relationships. While this is a topic that we've covered before we wanted to present an alternate take from one of the main contributors from PolyWeekly, LustyGuy, as he offers his views on how to fight fair in a relationship to ensure everyone has the maximum potential to "win". Our main topic is on transitions. During the course of last week's episode we discovered that this was a topic that we both wanted to delve into, so here we are. We talk about what the more common transitions that we will face in life are, and the ways we can best broach them, prepare for them, and thrive from them. We close out this week's show with a question about compatibility. Our questioner keeps dating guys that he discovers aren't compatible with him once they start dating. Is this a question of romantic connection, vulnerability, or of being true to yourself? For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 059 Handling Arguments at Conventions | 23 Feb 2017 | ||
Hello Everyone! We open this week's show with a discussion on STIs in New York City. Over the past three decades STIs have been on the rise while funding has remained stagnant. We look at factors as to why and ask the ultimate question: why is sexual health not considered to be recession proof? Our main topic is on handling arguments at conventions. We discuss the common arguments, causes for arguments, and ways to avoid arguing with loved ones at conventions. We also approach the topic of former lovers, jilted exes, and friends who might have issues with you and how to handle confrontation (or even break ups) while at one of the most public of venues we as a fandom encounter. We close out this week's show with a question on how to handle rejection. In a search for Mister Right, how can you handle being told no repeatedly or being matched with guys that just are not compatible? Should the expectations be adjusted, or is it perhaps too narrow a net is being cast? We discuss realism, optimism, and pessimism and how to appropriately set expectations. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 058 Commissioning Art | 16 Feb 2017 | ||
We open this week's show with a discussion on workplace discrimination and sexuality-based pay gaps. In the past research was done on a binary approach (heterosexuals versus non-heterosexuals). Now that more data is in, we can dive in and see which group in the LGB community (still not enough information for Trans*/NB individuals quite yet) make the most-- and least-- money. If this were other websites, we would inform you that number five will surprise you. Our main topic is on Commissioning Art. With this being the day after Valentine's Day, we wanted to tackle a lighter, more fandom related topic, and one of the more common questions we receive is what is the best etiquette to practice when commissioning art of your character (and perhaps of other people's characters). We go through a quick checklist of things to look out for, points about copyright law, and steps that commissioners and artists alike can take to ensure the goodwill continues to be fostered in the fandom. We close with a question on how to make friends if you are older than most other furries and also might have physical impairments you might be self-conscious about. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. | |||
| FA 057 Sex and Romance After Assault | 09 Feb 2017 | 01:34:28 | |
Hello Everyone! Before we get into the content of this show, we want to advise you that this episode contains discussions on abuse (emotional, physical, and sexual). If you are sensitive to such discussions we caution you against listening to this episode. Please consider listening to a show from our library, or hugging someone, or waiting until next week to listen to our next episode. Thank you for your consideration! We open this week's show with a discussion on mouth wash and gonorrhea. While gingivitis and bad breath are the standard enemies of Listerine, is it possible that your daily hygiene regimen can mitigate against the spread of an STI? Our main topic is on sex and romance after assault. As individuals who have gone through various forms of abuse, we open up about our experiences, our healing process, and ways that we were able to grow and learn to love ourselves (and others) after the fact. This is a rough subject, and a heavy episode-- however it is an important episode and we encourage you to listen. We close out this week with a question on suicidal mates and the burden of support. How can you support a suicidal partner, and what should you do if you no longer feel you can offer that support. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||
| FA 056 Rebuilding Trust (After Betrayal) | 02 Feb 2017 | 01:56:56 | |
Hello Everyone! We open this week's show with a discussion on poppers and eyesight damage. No, we're not talking about jalapeño poppers, but the kind of poppers you huff (if you huff jalapeño poppers please let us know). Known as VCR Cleaner, Tape Cleaner, or Leather Cleaner, this is a commonly encountered additive to sex that many people enjoy, and it is not well researched in terms of consequences to your long-term health. We look at one investigation that links damage to your vision to the usage of poppers and add another reason to consider carefully your choice to include them in your play. Our main topic is on rebuilding trust in a relationship after a betrayal, cheating, or a rule violation. Relationships are never perfect and mistakes happen, but how to move beyond that mistake is not often discussed and it is consistently one of our more commonly asked questions. We look into this area of relationship healing and offer advice to both the offender and the hurt, as well as provide looks into our lives when we have been put on either side of this situation. We close out this week's show with a discussion on love. What is love? Am I in love? What's love got to do with it? These are questions that singers and sages have asked for years but have yet to provide an answer. We hope to help one of our listeners figure out whether or not they are in love with their best friend and, if so, should they pop the question. For more information, including a list of topics, see our Show Notes for this episode. Thanks and, as always, be well! | |||