Enough, the Podcast – Détails, épisodes et analyse

You know the moment: you've chosen to be clearer, less accommodating, a bit braver. And it feels good… for about two seconds. Then the wobble comes. That tightening in your chest. That playback in your head. The urge to explain or undo what you just said.

In today's episode, I talk with Jon Prince — former professional poker player, coach, and author of Start Before You're Ready — about exactly that: how to hold your nerve when you raise the stakes, and your nervous system screams for relief.

Poker isn't just about cards. It's about emotional control under pressure. If you make a move to calm yourself down, you lose. The skill is staying in the hand while your body wants to fold.

We dig into what actually happens after you make a brave choice in life: the growth hangover, the inner critic revving up, the post-boundary shake, and the real work of sitting in tension without fixing, rescuing, or smoothing it over.

This episode will resonate if you've ever:

• said something aligned and then questioned it

• chosen a new way of being and felt exposed

• held silence and wanted to fill it

• wondered if holding your ground meant you were too much

Jon's perspective brings both the rawness of real nervous systems and the wisdom of real growth.

If you've ever been braver than usual and then wanted to take it back, this conversation is for you.

LINKS

Jon Prince on Instagram

Jon Prince's Book, Start Before You're Ready

Jon Prince's Website

Christopher Sexton – Instagram (poet of the quote we opened with)

Have you ever thought, If I just fixed that one thing, I'd finally feel OK?

In this episode of Enough, the Podcast, we're talking about body image, shame, and the quiet fix-it logic so many women live inside — especially in midlife.

My guest, Kate Gies, was born without an ear and underwent 14 reconstructive surgeries as a child, each one promising to finally make her whole. What she learned — far earlier than most of us — is that fixing the body rarely delivers the relief it promises.

This conversation isn't about giving up on your appearance. It's about questioning what you're asking your appearance to do for you.

We explore:

• Why the beauty industry relies on low-grade shame to keep us fixing

• How body image becomes a stand-in for deeper questions about worth

• The myth that one more improvement will finally make you feel enough

• What wholeness looks like when it isn't tied to perfection

• How to tell the difference between choice and conditioning

If you've ever negotiated with your reflection…
If you care about how you look and resent how much it matters…
If you're curious about what changes when appearance stops being proof of your worth…

This episode will land. Press play and consider what might be driving your appearance-related decisions – zero judgment; no fixing (or solutions;) just pure curiosity. 

LINKS

Kate Gies's website (and her book, It Must Beautiful To Be Finished).

Kate Gies on Instagram.

Mandy Lehto on Instagram.

 On the outside, Dr Mel Hicks (47) had it all. She's been a global philanthropist for two decades. She's a published author, keynote speaker, and has travelled to 44 countries. But another failed marriage, and an emergency hysterectomy threw Mel into shame and self-doubt. She was alone again, and she'd never be a mother – and she blamed herself. As a high-achiever and a self-proclaimed "runner" from her problems, Mel dove into her charity work, and drank and partied so she wouldn't have to face her feelings of not-enoughness. She finally had to confront the big emotions she'd been running from. Can she find a new way of relating to herself if she's not a mom, and still feel enough? Let's find out… 

0:00 Intro

2:22. Why Mel's inability to have children caused her to feel so much not-enoughness

4:03 When Mandy's second marriage fell apart, and the not-enoughness she felt

4:59 Mel's second divorce was a pivotal moment for her

9:49 The shame of not being part of the "motherhood club"

12:27 Mel's fibroid diagnosis

13:35 Mel's coping mechanisms (wine and work)

15:41 Liz Gilbert quote. Mel gets fed up of her own BS

17:31 "I forgive you"

20:04 The exhaustion of pushing down emotions

21:22 Mel allowed her shame stories to surface

24:58 Moving forward vs "running"

26:23 Shame resilience

28:09 How Mel picked shame apart

32:57/Outro What Mel has recently said "Enough!" to

Links

Melanie Sue Hicks's website and book.

Mel on Instagram

Mandy on Instagram

Operating from fear and scarcity means you're not reading life accurately. The same is true if you're moving through life guided solely by intellect – head wisdom – ignoring the superior wisdom of the other senses. My guest is spiritual teacher and NYT best-selling author, Sonia Choquette, who shares some practices from her new book, Read Life Accurately. She helps us to tune into our energetic alerts, within ourselves, others, and the places we work and live in. More and more scientific research supports what intuitive practitioners have known all along – that being connected to our bodily sensations, listening to those "nudges" can help us perform better in high-pressure environments, manage stress, and make less impulsive decisions. 

Links

Sonia Choquette's website/books.

Sonia on Instagram

Mandy on Instagram

Jessica Maguire's blog on the nervous system (including reference to London traders research).

Dene Logan post on Instagram about over-giving as a desire to be rescued.

Is your measure of success focused purely on your own achievements? Maybe you're at a time in your life when you're questioning legacy, purpose, and who you are beneath your job title. Maybe you're thinking about what it means to contribute and to matter in society.

Baroness Lola Young was one of the first black women members of the House of Lords. She's been an actress, an academic, and a cross-bench peer. She's also an active campaigner against modern slavery and unethical fashion. Her new book, Eight Weeks, an account of being raised in foster care and children's homes between the ages of eight weeks and 18 years.

In this conversation I talk to Lola about the influence of her challenging past on her identity and choice of career. We probe into what it means to matter – I'm curious if mattering might be an antidote to the hyper-individualization, loneliness and disconnection so many people are feeling. What could "mattering" look like in your own life? Could being of service (more intentionally) help you to feel enough? Let's find out.

00:00 Intro

4:47 Who is Lola Young?

6:08 Lola's thoughts on identity – being black, female and "in care."

7:45 Jerry Colonna's big question, "To whom do I belong?"

8:21 How Lola's early experiences shaped her identify and feelings of enoughness.

14:46 Description of her book, Eight Weeks: Looking Back, Moving Forwards, Defying the Odds.

18:45 The connection between enoughness and the hyper-individualistic society we live in. What is "mattering?"

20:40 Mattering and enoughness.

23:14 Her peers growing up were tuned into the public need and public service.

24:43 Did Lola's challenging upbringing influence her choice of career?

28:39 Does Lola feel enough in this season of her life?

31:31 Lola's Brick of Wisdom

32:43 Outro

34:04 Sonia Choquette is my next guest.

LINKS

Lola Young's book Eight Weeks.

Lola Young's Wikipedia page.

Dr Gordon Flett's book on Mattering.

Episode 85 on Kindness with Dr David Hamilton.

Episode 77 with Jerry Colonna.

You may have heard about the health benefits of being kind. Not only can it lower blood pressure, and boost immunity. It can also positively alter your relationship with yourself, which piqued my interest for those of us who've spent decades driving ourselves relentlessly. Is kindfulness a solution to feelings of not-enoughness? 

Dr David Hamilton is a speaker, columnist, and author of twelve books, including his most recent, The Joy of Actually Giving a F*ck. He's delivered kindness sessions for Google, Bank of England, the NHS, and many others. 

In this episode, David and I discuss "kind genes", how mindfulness doesn't help everyone to be kinder, and rethinking what success can feel like. David also gives us a kindness challenge, which I've been taking. Hear some of the things I've been trying. 

0:00 Intro

3:04 Definition of "kindfulness"

4:00 Does mindfulness work for everyone?

6:26 What mindfulness actually does.

7:18 Does it make you more self-critical?

11:02 David's "Inner Buddha" technique

15:50 The fear that self-compassion means we lose motivation

17:12 Productivity, creativity and neural networks

20:35 What success "feels" like as you're pursuing it

28:45 The Physical benefits of kindness

33:21 Research on kindness and self-esteem

35:04 "Writing as a technology of healing," (to use Jessica Waite's phrase from the previous episode)

41:29 David's 7 days of kindness challenge

44:18 List of what Mandy tried

47:17 One of David's ideas

50:19 David's Brick of Wisdom

51:12 Outro

Links:

Dr David Hamilton (includes his new book).

Episode 66 of Enough, the Podcast (on kindness). 

Alexandra Franzen's list of 50 ways to be ridiculously generous.

Headphones recommended. 

I'm in conversation with Jessica Waite, best-selling author of The Widow's Guide to Dead
Bastards. Sean, Jessica's husband of 17 years, died unexpectedly, and after his funeral,
when some of his personal effects were returned, she started piecing together parts of his
secret life. In this conversation we talk about how you put your life back together after a
romantic relationship ends. What if it's complicated by grief, shock, and infidelity? Jessica
talks about the importance of feeling her feelings – including questioning her enoughness,
and an act of revenge. We discuss the use of writing as a technology of healing. You'll also
hear how she's navigating being thrust onto the world stage with her vulnerable story, and
how she's grounding herself. Compelling, thought-provoking, and insightful. Join us!

3:44 How Jessica's life unravelled after her husband's unexpected death.
8:35 How did she make sense of his pornography addiction – and how that was different to
the breach of trust in her marriage when she uncovered her husband's affair.
13:42 "Emotional Spanx" – Emotions will bulge out somewhere; they cannot be cordoned
off.
16:00 What is wholeness?
18:03 How Jessica practiced levity and compassion. How writing helped her to see herself as
a character.
23:36 Writing as a technology of healing.
27:00 Some odd, paranormal situations start happening in Jessica's life.
35:44 When starting to share vulnerable stories, it's important who you share with.
36:01 The risk of sharing is real. Jessica's story hits the British tabloids.
40:10 What Jessica is learning about who she is in this season of her life.
42:40 Grief as a dissolution of identity that leads to a reforming.
44:30 Strictly Come Dancing ex-dancer Janette Manrara talks about the pressures of public
scrutiny
47:46 Jessica's take on the arm-chair critics.
51:22 Brick of Wisdom

52:29 OUTRO – with a closing comment by Jessica

Links
Jessica Waite's website
Jessica Waite's book.
Jessica Waite on Instagram.
Mark Silverman's episode (he discusses "Morning Pages").
Rosie Nixon's episode (where she talks about life-changing lists).
Full episode of Janette Manrara from Strictly Come Dancing.

Welcome to the first ever Coaching Corner episode of Enough, the Podcast. These conversations are shorter and focus on a particular challenge. I hope you find them practical and immediately actionable. Coaching Corner episodes will be interspersed between the usual ones, just to spice things up. This week, the work dilemma is around being interrupted – what can you do when that happens? My guest is fellow coach, Alina Addison, author of The Audacity Spectrum: Leading with Care, Courage and Non-Conformity. We offer up some ideas you can try in those challenging conversations. 

1:15 Alina's key question if you're being talked over

3:22 Using a gesture – if you're feeling audacious

3:50 The acknowledging tool

5:40 Self-awareness isn't enough – the other lenses to pay attention to

8:26 Check your story

8:34 Recap of the tools and ideas so far

10:52 Alina's Assertiveness Formula

16:09 Kate's boss speaks over her – what could she do?

19:00 Implementing the Assertiveness Formula

21:30 Internal calculations – what's your tolerance level for interruption

28:17 OUTRO

Links:

Alina Addison's book: The Audacity Spectrum

Alina on LinkedIn

Alina on Instagram

Mandy on LinkedIn

Mandy on Instagram

Have you ever wondered if people in the public eye feel bouts of not-enoughness? And if so, how they handle it? 

Janette Manrara is a former pro dancer on Strictly Come Dancing, a television show watched by 12-18 million people each week. Janette now hosts the TV programme, It Takes Two, and recently published Tiny Dancer, Big World: How to find fulfilment from the inside out. 

In this conversation, Janette and I discuss her unusual entry into professional dance (her "wiggly career"), her moments of not-enoughness resulting from the rejections along the way, and how she finally learned to relate to moments of imposter syndrome and self-doubt (because – spoiler alert – they never go away). There's a secret insight from Janette in the Outro, so listen to the very end.

(3:18) Mandy's experience of ballroom dancing.

(6:18) Self-love has been a quest for Janette.

(7:31) Janette shares her career moments of not feeling enough.

(14:11) LA is the most ruthless place on earth for rejection.

(18:57) Janette's first year on Strictly

(20:56) Her inner critic and not feeling good enough or liked on the show.

(23:26) What Janette would say to her younger self.

(24:42) Lenny Kravitz also has bouts of not-enoughness.

(25:28) Defensive pessimism and a recap of Janette's points.

(27:28) Imposter syndrome – Janette had no "specialty"

(32:15) Adam Grant's Overblown Implications Effect, and 'what are you listening for?'

(34:38) Wiggly careers/skill stacking.

38:52 Emma Reid Turrell: 3 reasons your imposter syndrome might get activated.

(40:20) How Janette handles moments of imposter syndrome.

(44:16) Gratitude (it works, even if it sounds "old hat").

(47:08) The biggest takeaway Janette readers experience from her book.

(49:00) Enoughness is a practice. Recap of Janette's practices.

(50:36) Janette's Brick of Wisdom.

(51:25) Outro and secret bonus insight from Janette on what dance is like for her.

LINKS

Janette Manrara's book.

Janette on Instagram.

Mandy Lehto on Instagram.

IG video of Lenny Kravitz discussing his moments of self-doubt.

Poet Alix Klingenberg on IG.

Episode 64 on Imposter Syndrome.

In this conversation, Emma and I dig into what's keeping us "bound", overwhelmed, and feeling not-enough. We touch on the types of happiness (Emma's been researching happiness for 20 years) and why a contemplative practice is the foundation of having a more life-affirming relationship with yourself. You'll hear about how people get "committed to burnout," and how to break out of what Emma calls the "Matrix" that's keeping you stuck and exhausted. There's also a cameo from Dr Anna Lembke, best-selling author of Dopamine Nation, and Stanford professor. Emma and I get into the programs that are running our behaviours and thoughts – including one scenario where a salesperson insulted me, and I opened my wallet, fully aware of what I was doing (and I did it anyway!). Emma, why do we do this? Emma's practical, evidence-based suggestions give you a path back to freedom, energy and your power. 

Links

Emma Seppälä's website (and books)

Emma on Instagram

Mandy on Instagram

Sky breathing technique

Anna Lembke's book, Dopamine Nation