Enough, the Podcast – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Have you ever wondered if people in the public eye feel bouts of not-enoughness? And if so, how they handle it? 

Janette Manrara is a former pro dancer on Strictly Come Dancing, a television show watched by 12-18 million people each week. Janette now hosts the TV programme, It Takes Two, and recently published Tiny Dancer, Big World: How to find fulfilment from the inside out. 

In this conversation, Janette and I discuss her unusual entry into professional dance (her “wiggly career”), her moments of not-enoughness resulting from the rejections along the way, and how she finally learned to relate to moments of imposter syndrome and self-doubt (because – spoiler alert – they never go away). There’s a secret insight from Janette in the Outro, so listen to the very end.

(3:18) Mandy’s experience of ballroom dancing.

(6:18) Self-love has been a quest for Janette.

(7:31) Janette shares her career moments of not feeling enough.

(14:11) LA is the most ruthless place on earth for rejection.

(18:57) Janette’s first year on Strictly

(20:56) Her inner critic and not feeling good enough or liked on the show.

(23:26) What Janette would say to her younger self.

(24:42) Lenny Kravitz also has bouts of not-enoughness.

(25:28) Defensive pessimism and a recap of Janette’s points.

(27:28) Imposter syndrome – Janette had no “specialty”

(32:15) Adam Grant’s Overblown Implications Effect, and ‘what are you listening for?’

(34:38) Wiggly careers/skill stacking.

38:52 Emma Reid Turrell: 3 reasons your imposter syndrome might get activated.

(40:20) How Janette handles moments of imposter syndrome.

(44:16) Gratitude (it works, even if it sounds “old hat”).

(47:08) The biggest takeaway Janette readers experience from her book.

(49:00) Enoughness is a practice. Recap of Janette’s practices.

(50:36) Janette’s Brick of Wisdom.

(51:25) Outro and secret bonus insight from Janette on what dance is like for her.

LINKS

Janette Manrara’s book.

Janette on Instagram.

Mandy Lehto on Instagram.

IG video of Lenny Kravitz discussing his moments of self-doubt.

Poet Alix Klingenberg on IG.

Episode 64 on Imposter Syndrome.

In this conversation, Emma and I dig into what’s keeping us “bound”, overwhelmed, and feeling not-enough. We touch on the types of happiness (Emma’s been researching happiness for 20 years) and why a contemplative practice is the foundation of having a more life-affirming relationship with yourself. You’ll hear about how people get “committed to burnout,” and how to break out of what Emma calls the “Matrix” that’s keeping you stuck and exhausted. There’s also a cameo from Dr Anna Lembke, best-selling author of Dopamine Nation, and Stanford professor. Emma and I get into the programs that are running our behaviours and thoughts – including one scenario where a salesperson insulted me, and I opened my wallet, fully aware of what I was doing (and I did it anyway!). Emma, why do we do this? Emma’s practical, evidence-based suggestions give you a path back to freedom, energy and your power. 

Links

Emma Seppälä’s website (and books)

Emma on Instagram

Mandy on Instagram

Sky breathing technique

Anna Lembke’s book, Dopamine Nation

If you’ve ever achieved a big goal, was it everything you’d hoped? Probably not. Callum Wilson dreamt of representing England’s national rugby team since he was a kid, but when it happened, it didn’t change his life the way he’d hoped. Sidebar: This is NOT an episode about rugby. It’s a powerful, tender conversation about how a tattooed, 113kg overachiever handled “arrival fallacy” – the concept that if we just achieve that big goal, THEN we’ll be happy. You’ll learn why diversifying your “goal portfolio” can create a positive shift, and how to handle the negative inner chatter when it insists you’re not enough. 

Links:

Callum Wilson on LinkedIn.

NYT article on Arrival Fallacy, with Dr Ben-Shahar

You’ve heard of burnout, but ever heard of bore-out? Apparently, it’s a leading cause of why people leave their jobs. I’m not talking about things feeling a bit drab. I’m talking about the loss of meaning in your work, and the adverse effects this can have on your mental and physical wellbeing. As you become more senior, maybe your days are full of admin, politics, and none of the juicy stuff that used to light you up. In today’s episode you’ll meet Kristi Turner, a former tech CMO, whose work stress was mainly due to boredom. Kristi took a pause from work, had a “Soulbbatical” (more on this in the episode), and found a new-found vigour to re-enter the corporate in a way that felt more aligned with her values. You’ll also meet Shelley Paxton, former CMO of Harley Davidson and founder of the Soulbbatical, who gives you some techniques to tackle bore-out – no resignation letter required. Pacey and practical, you’ll leave this episode tooled up, and (hopefully) enlivened. Join us!

Links:

Kristi Turner’s website.

Shelley Paxton’s website.

Soulbbatical book.

Brené Brown’s list of values.

Forbes article: Why boredom at work is more dangerous than burnout.

BBC article with Dr Lotta Harju’s comments.

Mandy Lehto on Instagram.

Do you have BLS? (Beige Leadership Syndrome). I just made that up, but it’s a thing. If you work in corporate, you know the meetings that are soda-cracker dry. The BS buzzwords. The slow death by Power Point. The lack of relatable, inspiring leaders at the top. What gives? Enter Erin Hatzikostas, ex-CEO turned author, TEDx speaker, podcaster and coach-sultant. We talk about how to start practicing authentic leadership, and before you roll your eyes, or think you know what that means, strap in for the ride. This is authenticity as you’ve never experienced it. You’ll leave with some radically practical ways to experiment with authentic leadership, and a new, life-changing tool: the 50% rule. I think I can safely say, this episode will rid the corporate world of BLS. Join us. You career will thank you.

Links:

Erin Hatzikostas’s website. Please watch her cool 2min video!

Erin on LinkedIn. Mandy on LinkedIn.

Me on Erin’s podcast (episode 233).

Dr Jeff Spencer is the man behind more than forty Olympic gold medals, and stellar performances by Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, and many other elite performers who are household names. In today’s conversation, you’ll get a sneak peek at some of the techniques Jeff uses with them. Hint, hint – it’s NOT more striving or hyper-focus. You’ll learn to do “Chameleon Eyes”, a process that opens more opportunities and more of your untapped potential. You’ll also learn to shift gears from striving into receivership, and how “resonant recognition” can be a new navigation system in your life. This is especially important as you leave your 30s, the decade of “conquest and acquisition.” Wise, experienced, and just the right amount of intense, Jeff will challenge how you go about success.

Links:

Dr Jeff Spencer’s website.

Jeff on LinkedIn.

Mandy Lehto on LinkedIn.

Dr David Yudis on LinkedIn.

David Brooks’ book, The Second Mountain.

Want to learn the real deal on your inner critic from a Stanford-trained neuroscientist? You’re in luck. Today’s guest is Dr Irene Salter, whose inner critic (named Draco) was taking too much airtime in Irene’s life. You’ll hear Irene’s hypothesis on where the inner critic comes from. Then she takes us through a real-life scenario of how she turned the volume down on Draco. You’ll learn about popcorn brain – and my favourite part of the episode, how to connect with your subconscious brain to find out what the heck is going on with that inner voice and the extreme behaviours it demands of you. Lab coats at the ready. 

Links:  

Microsoft research on short breaks for your brain 

Dr Irene Salter’s website 

Irene on Instagram 

Mandy on Instagram 

When work isn’t working, it’s easy to question yourself, “Why can’t I hack it? What’s wrong with me?” Maybe you’re feeling stagnant, exhausted, or even burnt out. Is it a capacity issue or are you high net growth? (stay tuned for what that means). I’m in conversation with award-winning author and podcaster, Jenny Blake. During her career at Google, she looked at her management and thought, “I don’t want that job.” If you’re languishing, and can’t see a way forward, what do you do? Jenny offers a refreshing perspective on our obsession with promotions, and what she calls “the sea of shiny shoulds.” You’ll learn about project-based purpose, how you can “turn into a goo” after leaving a company that has brand halo, and why an energy audit can be a big reveal. Join us.

Links:

Jenny Blake on Substack

Pivot podcast episode with Mandy Lehto

Article on Languishing

NYT article on Languishing, Adam Grant (subscription required)

If you love an act of kindness, this episode is gonna feel like lowering yourself into a hot mug of chocolate, with itty bitty marshmallows. Acts of kindness have proven health effects, but I’ve also noticed something else. They are a splendid antidote to feeling self-critical, not enough, and being too zoomed in on your own inner world. This episode originally aired in 2021, and I loved it so much, I wanted to give it a second life. I asked a bunch of guests back to the pod to share a collection of acts of kindness – either given or received – and the impact it had on them. Warm fuzzies guaranteed.

Links:

BBC article with University of British Columbia research.

Former litigator (and firefighter) Shannon Sedlacek is back by popular demand. She featured in episode 53, one of the most downloaded episodes of the year. She’s back to share what happened to her identity when she was forced to leave her impressive job. She shares how her sense of self shifted so dramatically, that at one point, she didn’t even want to be alive.

She also shares the two things that helped her transcend those difficult times. You’ll hear a cameo from a previous guest. You’ll also hear what I learned from a man in burgundy robes that messed with my thinking. If you’re highly identified with your job, but know deep down that you have a tough choice ahead, this episode is for YOU. 

Links:

Shannon Sedlacek’s website.

Gelong Thubten’s book.

Jessica Maguire’s website.

Nicole LePera’s workbook.

Mandy Lehto on Instagram.