You never know when I'm gonna strike

It's 2021, mija!

I'm not like other girls, mija. I eat raw human flesh in my spare time! Trigger warnings: stalking, human trafficking, grooming, mention of r*pe, incestuous thoughts, p*dophilia

What song would you sing to reject Alpha-Wolf-Reggie, mija? Trigger warnings: human trafficking, su*cidal ideation/su*cide, physical violence, pedophilia, sexual assault, filming sexual content without consent

BREAKING NEWS! (news jingle plays) The rum bandit has struck again this morning at the Riverdale zoo, where multiple elephants have been found intoxicated. Zoos around the world terrified. More on this story after a word from our sponsors. (ending jingle plays) Trigger warnings: stalking, physical violence, human trafficking

Cherry Bomb (Riverdale's Version) deserves to be on your Spotify wrapped, mija. Trigger warnings: human trafficking, suicidal ideation, physical violence, sexual assault, pedophilia, self harm, murder

Have some syrup with that, m(ij)a'am. Trigger warnings: genocide, su*cide, alcoholism, parental abuse, physical violence

Tessa Leigh Williams, I would gladly kiss you on the mouth. Trigger warnings: r*pe, self harm, su*cide, conversion therapy, cults, organ harvesting, parental abuse, incest

Mija, I know it sounds like we recorded this episode from underwater. That's because we did. We haven't revealed this to you yet, but one of the podcast hosts actually suffers from fish person disease. If you'd like her to record on dry land next time, we are fundraising to try and pay for her gill surgery. Email endgameriverdalepodcast@gmail.com if you'd like to donate. If you are a fish person, you are not alone. Trigger warnings: alcoholism, cannibalism, su*cide, genocide, physical violence, sexual assault, grooming, recording sex acts without someone's consent

Did that Hiram scene make you hot and bothered, mija? 🥵 If so, you may be entitled to financial compensation. Trigger warnings: su*cide, car accidents, murder, addiction, eating disorders

Add another secret sibling to the list, mija. Trigger warnings: roofies, p*dophilia, teacher child relationship, child labor, animal abuse, abusive parents

Does anyone know how to get burnt bits of serial killer out of a carpet, mija? Asking for a friend. Trigger warnings: physical violence, roofies, being buried alive, gangs, child abuse, stalking, gun violence, burning alive

We recorded this so god damn long ago, mija. We have all changed as people. We've had character development. We've had character regression. I don't even know the people who are speaking in this episode. I wish you could understand.

Do you ever eat turkey and wonder vaguely when your mother will die, mija? Trigger warnings: homophobia, gun violence, death, parental abuse, sexual abuse, alcoholism, bombs, cults, su*cide, torture, mutilation

You can contact the national child abuse hotline by texting or calling 1-800-422-4453. If you are a victim of abuse, please contact someone you trust and ask for help. If you know someone being abused, help them access resources available online. If you need more information on how to get help, you can email endgameriverdalepodcast@gmail.com. Trigger warnings: physical violence, child abuse, lobotomies, stalking, taking pictures of unconsenting parties, homophobia, r*pe jokes, racism against Native Americans

We miss you Luke Perry. It's pretty sick that you turned into mushrooms ❤️ Trigger warnings: gangs, physical violence, death, car accidents, gun violence, murder

Welcome to the drunk, COVID infested, nippletastic season three finale, mija! Trigger warnings: drug use, organ harvesting, human trafficking, child marriage, conversion therapy, descriptions of violence

This is a plea for help from Genetics 101!! Please save me from my co-hosts, mija! They keep listening to Riverdale songs!! Trigger warnings: child abuse, cults, transphobia (shout out to JKR), mutilation, death, animal cruelty, su*cide, bullying, homophobia, Hiram shirtless

How far can Archie's fists take you, mija 😏🤤🤔 Trigger warnings: child abuse, eating disorders, beheading, necrophilia, cults, gun violence

Wow. I finally made the episode. And it's not even long.

Donate to Abortion Funds. Links: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/supportabortionfunds?refcode=1milmatch Trigger warnings: guns, cults, child brides, violence

Mija (Portuguese) Trigger warnings: mention of shootings, cults, child abuse, drug use, su*cide

This episode has a fourth person, mija. It's a good episode, you should listen to it. But also please note that I may or may not like this person anymore. Who can truly say. Trigger warnings: cults, drug use, su*cide, mention of domestic violence, conversion therapy

He is Risen!

Me hoy minoy, mija. Trigger warnings: drugs, violence, abuse

R.I.P to Riverdale, mija, ending after 7 seasons 🥲🥲🥲 Trigger warnings: gang violence, mention of beheading, cults, child abuse, drug use, self harm, mention of r*pe

DONATE TO U.S. ABORTION FUNDS! Any amount of money is appreciated!! Go to https://abortionfunds.org/need-abortion/ if you need help or wish to donate. Trigger warnings for this episode: cults, violence

Would you bottom in a bunker with a bussy full of beans, mija? Trigger warnings: homophobia, outing, slut shaming, conversion therapy, gun violence, drug use, pedophilia, alcoholism

They make fun of sex workers in this episode. It's a bad look, mija. Cafe con leche, mija. Trigger warnings: su*cide, gun violence, alcoholism, slut shaming, drugs

I'm not like other bear attack victims, I drink root beer and soak with Jeffrey Dahmer🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️Trigger warnings: death, being buried alive, being skinned, bear attacks, cults, drug use, PTSD, su*cide, abuse, torture, child marriage, shootings, gang violence

How fuckable are the smurfs, mija? Trigger warnings: bear attacks (??), drug use, abuse/violence, human trafficking, su*cide

If I had a nickel for every time someones limb was cut off this season, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but its weird that it happened twice. Trigger warnings: drug use, medical abuse, torture, conversion therapy

We looked up farm porn for this episode, mija. Trigger warnings: Archie being horny, drug use, violence/death, corporal punishment, conversion therapy, medical abuse, force feeding (???)

How many things can you shove up your vag, mija? Trigger warnings: miscarriage, su*cide, child abuse, death/violence, kidnapping

Do you like our new cover photo ;-;-;-;-;

We're here to let you know that Archie Andrews is canonically average at sex, mija. We were surprised, too. Trigger warnings: police violence, torture, child abuse, assault, su*cide

Listen, mija. We know apartheid was bad. The joke is that the Riverdale writers think that's a hot take. It's fucking not. Anyway this bio doesn't make sense unless you listen, mija. Trigger warnings: racism, abuse, incest, child marriage, drug use, death/violence

Is it cheating if you have to go to a sex bunker to become worthy of the King's Scripture, mija? Trigger warnings: su*cide, drugs, violence

This podcast does not support J*hn M*laney, mija. But we do use his jokes. Trigger warning: su*cide, drug use, gang violence, assault

We're really not good at doing this podcast, mija. If you saw the other bio, no you didn't. Trigger warnings: su*cide, abuse, drug use, conversion therapy/homophobia

Does your peepee have a hat, mija? Let us know!

Pop your pussies for the gang war, mija 💋

Chapter 32? Never heard of her, mija. Also, this episode sucks.

I swear to god this episode is actually edited. Over 40 minutes of stuff was cut I swear. I promise, mija. I tried.

Does the sound of Hiram saying "good boy" make you melt, mija? Can you feel his hot daddy breath on your neck, mija? Are you... ready..mija? (Trigger warning: homophobia, conversion therapy)

Do you remember your first time being tickled, mija? Did it change you? Do you think about it? At night?As your partner sleeps beside you, oblivious? Do you crave the sweet sound of laughter? Does the feeling of this want, this craving, haunt your mind? Do you dream of it? Do you? Trigger warnings: sexual assault, murder, cults, p*dophilia, underage sexual content

Boobs are sweaty/ knees weak/ arms are heavy/ there's vomit on his sweater already/ mom's spaghetti

Do you want some nuts to top off that shake, mija?

Hiram's bussy is slicker than a bottle of snake oil, mija 🤪 Tumblr: https://endgameriverdalepodcast.tumblr.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/endgame.riverdale.podcast/ Email: endgameriverdalepodcast@gmail.com

Are you cummy, mija? Do you know only mobsters can fuck, mija? Have you ever had a three way in a cabin, mija? Let us know! Trigger warning: eating disorders, sexual assault Tumblr: https://endgameriverdalepodcast.tumblr.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/endgame.riverdale.podcast/ Email: endgameriverdalepodcast@gmail.com