Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Dysfunctional

In this episode, Josh sits down with trauma coach Ana Gersch to explore emotionally immature parents, estrangement, and the role of validation in family relationships.

Ana shares her journey into trauma work, blending somatic practices, spirituality, and modern coaching. Together, they unpack how trauma lives in the body, why emotional immaturity shows up in parents, and what actually defines emotional maturity.

They also dive into the rise of estrangement, whether no contact is a trend, and how social media is shaping these conversations.

A key theme throughout is the difference between validation and agreement, and why this misunderstanding often keeps families stuck.

This episode offers a grounded, honest look at healing, boundaries, and what it really takes to have a relationship with someone as they are, not who you wish they could be.

Find Ana - https://www.instagram.com/ana_traumacoach/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For more information or to grab you spot at the festival use these links -

Instagram - 

https://www.instagram.com/oneretreatwellness?igsh=dWl1d3Q2NzhjMGto

Facebook - 

https://www.facebook.com/share/1GyyZMdpeQ/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Website - www.oneretreatwellness.co.uk 

Ticket section of the site - https://www.oneretreatwellness.co.uk/tickets

And you can find Alex and Same here - 

Sam - https://www.instagram.com/samrigs/

Alex - https://www.instagram.com/alexhydecoaching/

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In this episode, I’m joined by Amber Hughes for a powerful conversation about addiction, homelessness, grief, and the impact all of it has on families.

Amber shares the story of her sister Hannah, who experienced addiction and homelessness before passing away in 2017. We talk about the chaos and heartbreak of loving someone through addiction, the stigma that still surrounds homelessness, and how these struggles affect the whole family, not just the person at the centre of it.

Amber also shares how she has turned that pain into purpose through Amber Lights in Oxford, raising awareness, supporting local charities, and helping children understand homelessness with more compassion and humanity.

A raw, honest and deeply human conversation.

Links:

https://www.instagram.com/amberlightsinoxford

https://www.linkedin.com/in/amber-hughes-bem-1a888b38a/

https://amberlightsinoxford.com/

https://www.gofundme.com/f/Publish-our-book-on-homeless-education-forchildren

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Dysfunctional, I’m joined by Becky Ray.

Becky works in workplace culture and leadership, helping organisations improve toxic work environments and develop better leaders, especially middle managers.

We talk about toxic workplace culture, sexism, bullying disguised as banter, and how poor leadership becomes normalised over time.

We also explore “accidental managers” and why so many people are promoted without ever being taught how to lead.

A big part of this conversation is resilience. Not just pushing through stress, but understanding emotional capacity and why burnout is often about what people are already carrying, not just workload.

We also touch on men’s mental health, emotional suppression, and the importance of release, whether through breathwork or other ways of getting out of your head and into your body.

In this episode:

Toxic work culture and leadership

Bullying vs banter in the workplace

Accidental managers and poor leadership

Burnout and emotional capacity

Men’s mental health at work

Resilience and emotional release

Connect with Becky: 

https://www.culturekick.co.uk/

Breathwork:

https://www.culturekick.co.uk/breathwork

Insta - https://www.instagram.com/culture_kick_/

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In this episode, I sit down with Laura Marston for one of the most raw and honest conversations we’ve had on Dysfunctional.

Laura shares her journey from being labelled and sectioned, spending years in and out of psychiatric units, struggling with addiction, and being told she had a “disordered personality”… to beginning to understand her experiences through the lens of trauma.

We talk about emotional neglect, family dysfunction, self-harm, psychosis, and what it’s like to grow up without your needs being met.

But more than anything, this episode is about what happens when you stop seeing yourself as broken… and start taking your life back.

We also explore:

• What psychosis actually felt like from the inside
• The reality of psychiatric wards (and why they often don’t help)
• Being diagnosed vs understanding trauma
• Addiction, survival and coping mechanisms
• Going no contact with family
• Breaking generational patterns
• Learning to sit with yourself instead of escaping
• Rebuilding your identity from the ground up
• 
  

Laura also shares how she’s now supporting others through resilience coaching and community, and what helped her move from survival mode into something that actually feels like living.

This one is raw, emotional, and incredibly powerful.

Trigger warning: This episode includes discussion of self-harm, suicide, childhood trauma, abuse, addiction and psychiatric hospitalisation.

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In this episode of Dysfunctional, Josh sits down with Kevin Brown for a raw and honest conversation about men’s mental health, addiction, shame, and the long road from self-destruction to self-respect.

Kev shares his journey through chaos, binge drinking, drug use, and living a double life, before a powerful moment of clarity helped him finally understand the impact of his childhood and the wounds he’d been carrying for years.

They explore father wounds, generational patterns, endurance running, breathwork for emotional release, and why healing isn’t a single breakthrough moment, but a messy process of getting back up again and again.

This episode is a grounded, deeply human conversation about learning to sit with the boy you once were… and becoming the man you choose to be.

Find Kevin -

https://www.instagram.com/mindmastersscotland?igsh=MTZzb2x5Z2RvMjlqMw==

https://www.facebook.com/share/1BEhesPJTD/

https://open.spotify.com/show/1dK4Zs6jcve7K3aWID7eAr?si=TJ2tlZ5cSG2dygMd5ueksw

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rich Finegan joins me for a powerful conversation about family estrangement, neurodivergence, anger, shame, and what it means to finally let yourself feel.

We talk about emotional suppression, accountability, parenting, dyspraxia, and the relief that can come when you realise you’re not broken and you’re not alone.

A deeply honest episode about healing, self-acceptance, and learning to show up for yourself.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Dysfunctional, Josh sits down with comedian and creator Laura Belbin, best known online as Knee Deep in Life, for a raw and wide-ranging conversation about healing, family estrangement, therapy, and self-respect.

Laura opens up about growing up in a dysfunctional family system, surviving childhood sexual abuse, and the painful reality of walking away from family relationships that could no longer be healthy. Together, Josh and Laura explore the complexities of trauma, therapy, accountability, and what real healing actually looks like.

They also discuss misogyny, relationships, emotional responsibility, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and the courage it takes to rebuild your life on your own terms.

This is an honest conversation about healing, boundaries, and the messy, complicated work of becoming yourself.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Josh sits down with Sue Deagle for a powerful conversation about loss, grief, resilience, and life after everything changes.

Sue shares the sudden loss of her husband and the journey of rebuilding a different kind of life in the aftermath. Together, Josh and Sue explore why grief and joy can exist at the same time, why people often struggle to support those in pain, and how loss is something we all face in different forms.

They talk about friendship, courage, work, parenting through grief, and Sue’s powerful idea that after loss, a different kind of great is still possible.

Let me know if you want an even tighter version.

https://thedobook.co/products/do-loss-a-new-way-to-move-through-change?Format=eBook&mc_cid=d1b275e995&mc_eid=2cb75235bb

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This week I’m joined by Leona Waller and Ana Ally, hosts of The Body Knows, for a conversation that goes way beyond “regulating your nervous system.”

We explore the three things your body is constantly organising around — safety, belonging, and dignity — and why so many of us were taught to override them.

We talk somatics vs embodiment, the productisation of healing, chronic illness, disconnection, and what it actually means to come home to your body.

If you’ve been stuck in your head trying to fix yourself, this one might change how you see everything.

Find them here - https://thebodyknows.substack.com

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In this powerful episode, I sit down with five extraordinary young people to talk about what it’s really like to grow up with a parent in prison.

The courage and maturity they bring to this conversation is breathtaking. They speak honestly about shame, stigma, anger, confusion and loss, but also about resilience, ambition and who they’ve chosen to become because of it.

This isn’t just a conversation about hardship. It’s a conversation about strength, success and the voices we don’t hear enough. I have no doubt this episode will help a lot of people feel seen.

https://childrenheardandseen.co.uk

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Jolene Ironside is a trauma therapist specialising in teenagers and neurodiversity, a somatic mind-body coach, yoga teacher, and holistic therapist.

In this conversation, we talk about what happens when you grow up around addiction, how perfectionism can be a survival strategy, and why “understanding it” isn’t the same as actually feeling it.

We get into suicide and addiction with honesty (and a lot of love), the limits of talk therapy, and what it looks like to come back into your body after years of living in your head.

We also talk neurodiversity, diagnosis, and why the system often labels people as “disordered” instead of simply giving them what they need.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the healing things but still not actually here… this one will land.

Find Jolene - https://www.heart-in-mind.com/about

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n this episode of Dysfunctional, Josh Connolly is joined by Ian Stringer and Scott Murdoch to talk about Chasing Yesterday Marathons a powerful endurance challenge raising money and awareness for NACOA (National Association for Children of Alcoholics).

We unpack what it’s like growing up with an alcoholic parent, the silence and shame that keeps families stuck, and why children of alcoholics often feel like they’re the problem. Ian shares the devastating story of losing his mum to alcoholism. Scott shares his journey from chaos to purpose, and the urgent need to get support into schools.

We also explain the challenge: running a marathon in Samoa, then flying across the International Date Line to run another marathon “yesterday” in American Samoa all within 24 hours.

👇 Donate / Sponsor / Support NACOA

https://www.justgiving.com/page/chasingyesterdaymarathons?utm_medium=FR&utm_source=CL

https://nacoa.org.uk

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This week on Dysfunctional I’m joined by Kate King, author of Mend or Move On.

We talk about the question so many people live inside for years: should I stay and try to repair this relationship, or should I move on and finally choose myself?

In this episode we get into:

Why “mending” gets glorified and “moving on” gets shamed

The 3 signs a relationship is genuinely toxic (not just difficult)

Why leaving is rarely the “easy option” and what can escalate after you go

Nervous system truth: you can’t regulate in an unsafe environment

Needs vs “needy”, reciprocity, and reclaiming autonomy

Kate’s book Mend or Move On is out now - 

https://a.co/d/3igvgLz

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In this episode, Josh is joined by Karl Melvin to unpack the recent Beckham estrangement headlines, Oprah’s conversation on family estrangement, and why this topic provokes such strong reactions. Together, they explore abuse, validation, projection, and what actually helps when families break down — especially when children and parenting are part of the picture.

To sign up to the event secure your spot here - https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/parenting-through-estrangement-tickets-1979401930458?aff=oddtdtcreator

Find out about Karl here - https://www.karlmelvin.com

#beckham #estrangement 

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In this solo episode of Dysfunctional, I walk through the six chapters of the Inner You process and share why this work has been so important in my own healing.

We talk about intention, self-compassion, meeting the different versions of yourself, healing relationships, and what inner child work actually looks like in real life.

This is an honest, grounded conversation about integration, emotional safety, and learning to come home to yourself.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected, reactive, or unsure why certain things hit you so hard, this episode is for you.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I’m joined by Elaine Baxter, a breathwork facilitator who’s been through the full arc of modern wellness, from fixing and performing, to actually holding space in a way that’s real.

We talk about ditching the “spiritual costume” and why so much of the healing industry rewards masks over authenticity. Elaine shares how breathwork helped her reconnect with feeling after years of numbness, grief, people-pleasing, and trying to hold everything together.

We explore what trauma-informed actually looks like in practice, the difference between fixing and holding, and why safety, honesty, and grounded language matter more than aesthetics, labels, or vibes.

This conversation is for anyone who wants deep work without the performance, and real healing without having to become someone they’re not.

Elaine is a Breathwork Facilitator who has supported people in processing emotions through the breath since 2020 and is a qualified Inner You Breathwork Facilitator. At the heart of Elaine’s practice is a commitment to creating a safe, compassionate, and non-judgemental space, where people are met without pressure to change and genuine healing can naturally unfold.

https://www.instagram.com/rebalance_with_elaine

https://misneachcentre.ie/allied-health-professionals/

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Leaving an abusive relationship doesn’t always mean the abuse stops.

In this episode, Josh speaks with Miranda Allen, an ambassador for Mums in Need, about post-separation abuse and how control continues through courts, finances, smear campaigns, and children. Miranda shares her lived experience and why believing survivors matters more than ever.

Learn more or support the work of Mums in Need:

👉 https://mumsinneed.com

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In this episode of Dysfunctional, I’m joined by relationship recovery coach Jo Westwood for a deep, honest conversation about toxic relationships, codependency, and what real self-worth actually sounds like in practice.

We talk about love bombing and how to spot it early, the moment “the switch” happens after commitment, and why being nice, polite, or endlessly understanding can quietly turn into self-abandonment.

We also unpack why so many people rush to defend power, fame, and parents at all costs, using the viral Anthony Hopkins estrangement clip as a real-world example of how society struggles with accountability, family loyalty myths, and reading the energy behind someone’s words.

This is a conversation about slowing down, trusting your instincts, and learning to say:

“You don’t know me well enough yet.”

And meaning it.

We explore:

The difference between love bombing and genuine connection

Why codependent people can be manipulative without meaning to be

The “special one” fantasy and how it keeps people stuck

Why healthy relationships can handle a slow start

Estrangement, boundaries, and the myth of unconditional family loyalty

Politeness vs kindness, and why people-pleasing pushes people away

Why abusive people don’t cut you off, and why survivors often have to

This episode isn’t about blame, cancel culture, or perfect healing.

It’s about self-reflection, personal responsibility, and building relationships that don’t require you to disappear to keep the peace.

If you’ve ever felt confused, drained, or like you keep ending up in the same painful dynamics, this one’s for you.

Find Jo:

Website: http://jowestwood.com

IG: http://instagram.com/jowestwood

The Anti People Pleasing Podcast link:

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-anti-people-pleasing-podcast/id1576679526

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4av63LLVwYNt8MNMu8Ygar

Audible: https://www.audible.co.uk/podcast/The-Anti-People-Pleasing-Podcast/B08K61YDSF

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alex Williams was eight years old when his mum was murdered by his stepfather.

In this episode, Alex shares what it’s really like to grow up after extreme trauma, how it shaped his nervous system, identity, and relationships, and why “healing” is often misunderstood.

Alex is an NHS mental health practitioner with over 20 years of experience and a suicide and self-harm prevention trainer. He brings both lived experience and frontline insight into what actually helps people after childhood trauma, and what doesn’t.

We talk about:

Growing up after domestic abuse and parental homicide

Why safety matters more than therapy in the early stages of trauma

The long-term impact of unprocessed grief in childhood

Compassion fatigue in mental health and helping professions

Why forgiveness is not required for healing

How the mental health system labels people instead of holding them

Phone addiction, numbing, and modern forms of escape

Meaning, survival, and choosing a life after trauma

This is a raw, honest conversation about loss, resilience, and what it means to live a good life after something unimaginable.

If you grew up in dysfunction, abuse, or emotional neglect, this episode will likely resonate.

Find Alex here -

https//instagram.com/thealexjwilliams

https//tiktok.com/thealexjwilliams

https//www.linkedin.com/thealexjwilliams

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Trauma doesn’t just live in your head. It can shut down your voice too. Vocal coach Claire Delaney joins me to talk C-PTSD, nervous system survival, toxic industry culture, and finding your voice again.

"Claire is a vocal coach who works with singers and actors whose voices have to hold up under real-world pressure. She’s coached performers across the West End, Broadway, and the National Theatre, and has worked for Italia Conti and ITV’s Mamma Mia: I Have a Dream. 

Her approach is trauma-aware and shaped by the belief that you can’t separate a voice from the person using it. Her work blends science, psychology, and practical technique, with a lens shaped by lived-experience. She helps performers rebuild the physical, emotional, and technical foundations of their voice, aiming for long-term reliability, confidence, and self-trust to make singing actually enjoyable again."

Instagram: @clairedelaney.vocalcoach

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I’m joined by Jared Shurin, a strategic communications specialist who works in counter extremism, violent radicalisation, misinformation, and social cohesion. We dig into the psychology of people who reach the point of extreme violence, why it often starts with the loss of trust, hope and faith, and how communication can pull people back from the edge.

We talk about:

How people become vulnerable to radicalisation

The link between extremism, suicidality, and hopelessness

Why most people sit in the exhausted moderate middle

The role of belonging, community, and agency in prevention

How governments, NGOs and everyday people can reduce social harm

What actually works when trying to talk someone down from violent thinking

This episode explores the real human drivers behind extremism, how isolation fuels dangerous behaviour, and why rebuilding local community may be our best defence.

Find Jared -

https://extra-fox.com/

newsletter - https://raptorvelocity.beehiiv.com/

https://www.instagram.com/straycarnivore/

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What if those moments where you’re convinced you’re a horrible person who “shouldn’t even be here” aren’t proof that you’re broken… but that you’re in what my guest calls a shame storm?

In this episode I’m joined by Melinda Delisle, MS LCCE – clinical nutritionist, former childbirth educator, and someone who has spent years navigating intense emotional dysregulation herself. We talk honestly about what it actually feels like inside a shame storm, why some of the most popular “healing tools” can make it worse, and how food, supplements and nervous system health quietly drive so much of our emotional world.

We get into:

- The difference between a shame swamp, a shame spiral and a full-blown shame storm

- Why gratitude lists, mindfulness and “just be present” advice can feel like gaslighting when you’re in survival mode

- How trauma, high sensitivity and people-pleasing set us up for chronic hypervigilance

- The link between nutrition, B vitamins, SSRIs and emotional dysregulation

-- Mistaking familiarity for safety – and why so many of us feel unsafe even with “nice” people

- Self-parenting, accountability and facing the ways our own dysregulation can make us the “toxic” one at home

Melinda also shares a free upcoming 4-week program she’s creating to help people build awareness, have better conversations around triggers and start finding their way out of constant dysregulation.

Substack: https://melindadelisle.substack.com/

Free 4-week program: https://melindadelisle.com/foundation/

Instagram: @melindadelisle

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melinda-delisle/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Children with a parent in prison are some of the most invisible kids in the country. In this episode, I sit down with Sarah (founder of charity Children Heard and Seen) and Felix (communications officer) to talk about what really happens to those children when a parent goes to prison, and why nobody is officially keeping track of them.

We talk about:

How Children Heard and Seen supports kids in the community with mentoring, groups and one to one support

The shocking reality of children left completely alone at home when a parent is sent to prison

Why there is no national data on which children have a parent in prison

The role of media, stigma and vigilante attacks on already vulnerable families

Why support must be child led, not focused on “fixing” the parent or forcing contact

The first ever Children with a Parent in Prison Day (25th November) and the national conference

If this episode moved you, please share it, talk about it with someone, and check out Children Heard and Seen to see how you can support or spread the word.

Link to the conference:

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/hear-me-see-me-parental-imprisonment-lived-experience-conference-tickets-1700692921309?aff=oddtdtcreator

Link to our website:

https://childrenheardandseen.co.uk/

Lived Experience Blogs written by adults who had a parent in prison as a child:

https://childrenheardandseen.co.uk/hidden-voices/

#parentalimprisonment

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Josh talks about:

Why the phrase “toxic person” makes some people more uncomfortable than abuse itself

The difference between “people doing toxic things” and people who are mostly harmful

How spiritual bypassing and “it’s all trauma” language can erase accountability

Why victims get to choose the language for what happened to them

Empathy with no boundaries and why it’s self-destructive

Healthy shame vs toxic shame

Why it’s okay to walk away and even hate someone who hurt you

#toxicpeople

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Maike is the author of The Confession: A Journey to Acceptance, her memoir of growing up with a father with undiagnosed mental health issues who went on to take his own life. She is a lived experience speaker and volunteer for Survivors of Bereavement by suicide

When Maike Mullenders was eleven years old, her dad sat her down and told her he was going to end his life — and made her say goodbye.

He survived that night. But ten years later, he died by suicide and left behind a confession to the police saying he’d “been inappropriate” with her — something Maike had no memory of.

In this conversation, we talk about what happens when your childhood forces you into the role of caretaker, and how that shapes everything that follows. We explore dissociation, survival, and what it means to grow up reading every tone of voice in a room just to stay safe.

Maike shares how decades of therapy, yoga, and community work helped her reclaim her body, her boundaries, and her right to take up space — even without ever knowing the full truth about her past.

We talk about:

Surviving a parent’s suicide attempts and living with the aftermath

The lifelong impact of emotional enmeshment and hypervigilance

Parenting after trauma and breaking generational patterns

Acceptance versus forgiveness — and why you don’t need both

Learning to feel safe in your body through movement and presence

The healing power of community and self-compassion

This episode is about what real healing looks like — messy, nuanced, and deeply human.

It’s about learning to live with not knowing, and finding peace anyway.

Please take care of yourself while listening.

Find Maike here -

https://www.linkedin.com/in/maike-mullenders-3021232b7/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100091853840552

#suicideawareness #mentalhealth

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We call it “mental health,” but what if the real diagnosis is a sick system?

Wellness anthropologist Aurora Leigh joins Josh to argue that disconnection — not individual defect — sits under our crises of addiction, anxiety, and depression. We dig into stoicism as emotional shutdown, the trap of pathologizing pain, and how somatic, community-based healing outperforms label-and-medicate approaches.

Expect Rat Park, the Roseto effect, sexual trauma as an ignored root cause, and Aurora’s “Somatic Regeneration” blueprint for moving the nervous system from survival to open, curious, connected. We finish with practical tools listeners can use today — and a challenge to rebuild policy, schools, and healthcare around safety, love, and belonging.

Find out more about Auroara here -

https://www.skool.com/simply-sacred-wauroara-leigh-2570/about?ref=9e5561a6facc4f2586229fc89b4fbee6

www.simplysacred.ca

https://youtube.com/@auroaraleigh?si=Xl7bT3OHHHEyy3s-

#mentalhealth

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This episode includes candid references to suicide, depression and self-harm.

It’s just been World Mental Health Day. I’m asking a hard question with no easy answers. Is the mental health conversation helping… or are there places it’s making us worse?

I talk about the tension between compassion and consequence. The risk of romanticising suffering when public figures die. How awareness can accidentally normalise behaviours. Princess Diana speaking about bulimia and what followed. The pathologisation of being human. My own swings, labels I once clung to, and what it takes to pull myself out of a spiral without shaming the struggle.

This isn’t anti-awareness. It’s a call to evolve it. Less performance. More truth. Fewer labels as identity. More community and responsibility. Let’s bring the pendulum back to the middle.

In this episode

• The double-edged sword of public compassion after tragedy
• When “normalising” crosses into normalising the thing itself
• Labels, identity loops and the algorithm effect
• Appropriate pain vs “mental health” language
• Finding the line between care and a loving push to move

If you’re struggling

Please reach out to someone you trust. You can also contact crisis support in your country (e.g. Samaritans in the UK, CALM, or your local emergency services). You don’t have to carry it alone.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this solo episode of Dysfunctional, Josh asks a raw question:

Is the world actually worse, or are we just being fed constant content that keeps us triggered?

As a highly sensitive person, Josh reflects on how algorithms exploit empathy, why stress has become a hidden addiction, and how our compassion is being stretched to breaking point. He dives into the danger of compassion fatigue, the blurred line between activism and doomscrolling, and why protecting your nervous system matters more than ever.

This is a conversation for anyone who feels overwhelmed by the state of the world — and who needs reminding that caring doesn’t mean carrying everything.

#highlysensitiveperson

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Old friends. Real talk. A mini 115 Miles reunion.

Hasan Khair joins me to unpack why work feels like a moving target and what to do when the ladder you were climbing gets ripped from the wall. We get into how school trained us for compliance, how hyper capitalism rewards harm, and why AI is speeding up a reckoning in every industry.

This is not doom. It is a plan. We get practical about midlife pivots, redundancy, belief, and the tiny actions that rebuild confidence. If you feel stuck, dehumanised by job boards, or scared to start again, this one will help.

In this episode

The real shift in work since 2008 and why restructures never stop

AI and automation. Why senior roles are getting cut first

School as a factory model. How it kills agency and creativity

Confidence and class. The advantage of environment

Hasan’s story. Failing A-levels, Blockbuster, Virgin, executive roles, redundancy, reinvention

Panic vs purpose. How to pause and design a different path

Ikigai without the fluff. What you love. What you’re good at. What the world needs

Nano steps. Not grand gestures

Why community multiplies belief

Hasan - https://www.linkedin.com/in/hasankhair/

Tyllr - https://tyllr.co

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Lauren Smallcomb grew up the “golden child” at home and in church. When compassion widened and questions came, the role cracked. We get into:

• Golden child vs scapegoat dynamics and why families swap those seats
• Conditional love, estrangement, and the pressure to “get back in line”
• High control religion, missions in Thailand, and leaving the system
• The body keeping the score: hives, chronic symptoms, and slow repair
• Rebuilding through mind body work, movement, breath, and safe love
• Her new book and who it’s for

Work with Lauren and Luke: Flourish Therapy (mind body practice, global)

• Instagram & Facebook: @flourishtherapy
• Website: flourishtherapy.co

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In this episode, Josh sits down with Theresa and her son Cody for one of the rawest and most hopeful conversations yet.

Cody shares what it was like to grow up with an alcoholic mother, the emotional estrangement that followed, and how he once decided, “I don’t have a mom anymore.” Theresa opens up about her alcoholism, early recovery, the shame of realizing she had become the toxic parent she swore she wouldn’t be, and the painful accountability required to begin repairing.

Together, they talk honestly about the darkest years of their relationship, the role of recovery and IFS (Internal Family Systems) in healing, and how they slowly rebuilt trust—not through excuses, but through deep accountability, boundaries, and a willingness to really listen.

What emerges is a story of hope: proof that repair is possible, even after estrangement and years of hurt.

Whether you’re an adult child of a toxic parent or a parent carrying shame for the harm you’ve caused, this conversation offers both validation and possibility.

Teresa is now a a Somatic Wellness Practitioner who uses the Triad of Healing which is Parts Work, Breathwork, and Somatic Release to gain the full spectrum of emotional healing. Teresa says she does this as a profession because of the healing it brought her in her life. She works with anyone overcoming any kind of trauma.

Teresa can be found here -

www.energiesinmotion.com

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What if everything you’ve been told about mental illness… isn’t true?

In this raw and uncompromising episode of Dysfunctional, I sit down with psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Jessica Taylor to tear apart the myths and corruption within psychiatry and the wider mental health industry.

We talk about:

👉Why so many psychiatric “truths” are based on weak science (or none at all)

👉How labels and diagnoses can keep people trapped instead of free

👉The profit-driven systems that benefit from keeping people sick

👉 true healing might look like outside of psychiatry

👉Why being human has been pathologised — and how we can reclaim it

This conversation is not comfortable, and it’s not supposed to be. Some of you will feel liberated. Some of you might feel defensive or upset. Wherever you land, I invite you to sit with it, question it, and decide for yourself.

🔗 Connect with Dr. Jessica Taylor:

Website: https://www.drjessicataylor.com

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In this episode of Dysfunctional, Josh sits down with Debra Paynter — business manager, single parent, and advocate — for a raw conversation about raising her son, Teddy, who is autistic and has a learning disability.

They explore:

Why SEND families are so often failed by schools, local authorities, and society

The difference between a tantrum and a meltdown, and what public judgement really feels like

How lockdown became a turning point in Teddy’s development

The exhausting fight to secure the right school place and legal protections

What society could do — right now — to better support SEND parents

The unexpected joy, connection, and resilience Debra has found in her journey

This is a conversation about courage, love, and truth-telling — and it will make you think differently about SEND parenting.

Follow Debra:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debs.does.asana/

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In this raw and unfiltered conversation, Josh sits down with Dr. Sherrie Campbell — psychologist, author, and unapologetic disruptor in the toxic family space — ahead of their joint Come Home to Yourself event in Los Angeles on October 4th.

What starts as an excited chat about the event quickly dives deep into some of the most taboo and misunderstood truths about healing from family abuse:

• Why forgiveness can become a weapon that keeps you trapped.
• How anger is an emotion of justice — and why you need it to set real boundaries.
• The myth that boundaries can “fix” toxic people.
• How bypassing, “love and light” culture, and the obsession with being nice can actually harm survivors.
• The danger of therapists colluding with abusers (often unintentionally).
• The reality of parental sadism and why you may never get a satisfying “why.”

Dr. Sherrie shares the most vulnerable moment of her healing journey — the day she realised her mother had no respect for her because she kept forgiving her — and how that moment became a turning point toward freedom.

This is not a conversation for those looking for sugar-coated healing. It’s for those ready to face the truth, drop the audition for love, and come home to themselves.

🎟 Come Home to Yourself — Los Angeles, October 4th

A full-day interactive experience with Josh & Dr. Sherrie featuring deep teaching, inner child work, live Q&A, and a powerful breathwork session for emotional release.

Spaces are limited: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/come-home-to-you-tickets-1461867257319?aff=oddtdtcreator

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In this episode of Dysfunctional, I’m joined by therapist and childhood trauma expert Patrick Teahan for a raw and powerful conversation about healing from toxic family systems.

We explore:

• Why estrangement can be necessary for healing — and the grief that follows
• How toxic parents keep control through subtle emotional tactics
• The long-term impact of growing up in dysfunctional family systems
• The limits of 12-step recovery when it comes to childhood trauma
• Why grieving the parent you never had is a turning point in recovery
• How society mirrors toxic family dynamics — and what it takes to break the cycle

Patrick also shares insights from his group therapy model, the Relationship Recovery Process, and reflects on his journey from early therapy to becoming a leading voice in the trauma recovery space.

If you're healing from family dysfunction, this one will land deeply.

Find Patrick here - https://linktr.ee/patrickteahan

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What if the same coercive control you grew up with in your family is playing out on a societal scale—and no one’s supposed to name it?

In this unapologetically raw episode, I’m joined by political punk artist Hyphen to call out the hidden systems most people are too afraid to touch. We unpack classism, manufactured consent, and how we’ve all been programmed to blame individuals instead of broken structures.

Hyphen shares how losing a close friend, burning out in finance, and growing up as the child of Indian immigrants shaped his activism—and how political punk gave him a voice loud enough to be heard.

We get into:

• Why being angry is the only sane response to injustice
• The truth about “freedom” under capitalism
• How systems mirror abusive family dynamics
• Why 3.5% of people are all it takes to ignite change
• And how slogans like “Hate Yachts, Not Dinghies” can become rallying cries for a generation
• 
  

This one is for the misfits, the scapegoats, the question-askers.

This is Dysfunctional. And we’re not here to behave.

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In this raw and emotional episode, I sit down with Lulu and Georgina—two sisters who grew up in the chaos of having a father in prison. What starts as a conversation about parental imprisonment unfolds into a powerful exploration of shame, silence, systemic failure, and the unbreakable bond between siblings who carried each other through the storm.

We talk about what it’s really like for the children left behind:

The raids.

The media frenzy.

Being judged by teachers, friends, and strangers.

And the complete absence of support.

Georgina was arrested at 17—just for being related to the man who committed the crime. Lulu was a child being searched at prison visits, isolated by her peers, and silently carrying the burden of a family under siege.

Together, they’ve turned pain into purpose—becoming advocates for Children Heard and Seen, a charity supporting children affected by parental imprisonment.

This conversation is a call to action. It’s about seeing the invisible victims of crime, breaking the cycle of silence, and reminding every child out there who’s been impacted: It’s not your fault.

Key Topics Covered:

Living with media stigma when a parent goes to prison

The trauma of police raids and prison visits as a child

The emotional toll of secrecy, shame, and being judged

Attachment wounds and survival responses

How families hold each other together in chaos

The desperate need for better support and resources for children of prisoners

Why advocacy matters and what needs to change

Trigger Warning: This episode contains emotional conversations around childhood trauma, imprisonment, police raids, and systemic neglect.

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In this bold and unfiltered episode, I’m joined by Christian John — a truth-teller who walked away from a toxic family system and now uses his platform to speak the things most people are too afraid to say out loud.

Together we explore:

• What estrangement really means — and why it’s often an act of survival
• How narcissistic abuse in families mirrors the dysfunction of society
• The performative trap of modern healing spaces
• Rage, grief, identity, and the reclaiming of personal truth
• How capitalism gaslights the nervous system and commodifies healing
• And why consciousness without community is just another echo chamber

This conversation is real, raw, and deeply validating for anyone who’s been scapegoated, silenced, or made to feel like they’re the problem.

🔗 Follow Christian on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hype.r.vigilance?igsh=MXUwbnJ6NzNiemlndA==

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of childhood sexual abuse, religious trauma, suicide attempts, and domestic violence. Please listen with care.

In this powerful episode of Dysfunctional, Karinne shares her story of surviving a childhood shaped by the Jehovah’s Witnesses — a group she now calls a cult — and parents who were both abusive and narcissistic.

Kicked out at 16 after being groomed and blamed for it, Karinne found herself completely alone in the world, trauma-bonded to the very people who harmed her, and struggling to make sense of a reality she was never prepared for.

What follows is a conversation about real healing — not the Instagram version with matcha and mantras, but the messy, angry, beautiful kind that happens when you start telling the truth.

Together we explore:

What it’s like growing up in a high-control religious cult

The impact of narcissistic parenting and spiritual abuse

Purity culture, fear-based control, and enforced submission

The trauma bond and why it’s so hard to break

What healing actually looks like — day-to-day, years on

Karinne is funny, fierce, and real. She’s not here to sugarcoat anything. This is what healing sounds like in real life.

📲 Connect with Karinne on insta - @girl_inshambles

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Most people think they’re broken. Most people think dysregulation is a problem. Most people think the answer is to regulate, reframe, or reset.

But what if all of that is just another distraction?

Another way to bypass what actually needs to be felt?

This episode is a full-bodied dismantling of the healing and wellness world as we know it — with the brilliant Sam Miller, who teaches Mind-Body Recovery through a trauma-informed, Jungian, and deeply embodied lens.

We talk about:

Why your symptoms might actually be your body healing

How emotional repression creates chaos in the system

Why "cognitive reframing" is like shouting to the basement from the attic

The cult of regulation and fake safety in the healing space

Performative masculinity, football fights, and the grief men won't feel

And how real emotional healing often looks more like screaming, shaking, and collapsing into a ball in a sauna than it does cold plunges or coaching frameworks

We also dig into the absolute state of the wellness industry — the bypassing, the ego-led facilitators, and why a lot of what’s branded as “healing” is just a new costume for the same old disconnection.

This one goes deep. It’s raw. It’s real.

It’s Dysfunctional.

Best place to find Sam is here - https://youtube.com/@the_mindful_gardener?si=WasM11Ci0DIGsXCg

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Today, I’m joined by the brilliant Dr. Genevieve von Lob – clinical psychologist, conscious parenting coach, and author of Five Deep Breaths: The Power of Mindful Parenting. Genevieve is a powerful voice for highly sensitive people (HSPs), and she's on a mission to create healing spaces for parents and children who’ve never felt like they fit the mould.

In this raw and deeply validating conversation, we explore what it really means to be highly sensitive in a world that often gets it wrong. We talk about the link between sensitivity and misdiagnosis, the emotional toll of being pathologized, and the damaging impact of growing up misunderstood.

Genevieve shares why many sensitive children end up labelled, punished, or shamed – and how their intense emotional world can actually be their greatest gift. We discuss addiction, bullying, co-regulation, parenting struggles, empowered sensitivity, narcissistic abuse, and why true healing happens in community, not isolation.

This is one of those conversations that might just change how you see yourself – or your child – forever.

Find out more about Dr Genevieve von Lob here - 

www.drgenevieve.com

@drgenevievevonlob (instagram) https://www.linkedin.com/in/drgenevieve/ (linkedin)

01:00 Introduction to Dr. Genevieve Von Lobb

02:59 Discovering High Sensitivity in Children

06:19 Personal Journey and Understanding Sensitivity

09:28 Challenges of Highly Sensitive Children

13:21 Recognizing and Supporting Sensitive Children

25:04 The Western Medical Model and Sensitivity

34:19 Bullying and Sensitivity

40:30 Understanding Trauma and Its Impact

41:59 The Dilemma of Highly Sensitive People

42:35 Ignoring Red Flags and Gut Instincts

45:38 Energetic Entanglement and Boundaries

47:12 The Reality of Bullying and Narcissism

50:03 The Journey to Empowerment

01:03:30 The Importance of Community Healing

01:04:57 Final Thoughts and Future Plans

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Josh is joined by IFS coach Kevin O’Neill — the man who guided him through 10 transformational sessions of Internal Family Systems work. Together, they explore what it really means to stop fighting your inner world and start leading from your Self. Josh shares the breakthrough that changed everything: realizing he was still judging himself through the lens of who he was at 22. They dive into shame, identity, addiction, inner protectors, and why even the messiest parts of us are just trying to help. This episode is a raw and moving deep-dive into parts work, masculinity, and what happens when you realise… there are no bad parts.

Working with Kevin was life changing for me and you can find out more about him and how to work with him yourself here -

www.nobadparts.coach

On instagram here - https://www.instagram.com/no_badparts/

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What if your burnout, your self-doubt, your struggle to belong weren’t personal problems, but symptoms of a system that was never built for you?

In this raw and powerful conversation, Josh is joined by master intuitive psychology coach Helen to dismantle the myth of individual healing in a broken society. Together, they explore how patriarchy, capitalism, and outdated leadership models disconnect us from our true selves and how coming home to our intuition is an act of resistance.

This isn’t just another coaching chat. It’s a call to break free from the systems that broke you. Expect uncomfortable truths, gut-punch insights, and a reminder that real change starts within but never ends there.

Find Helen here -

www.helendudzinska.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/helen-dudzinska-b75087184

Insta - @helendudzinska

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If you’ve ever dealt with a toxic person online or in real life, this episode is for you.

Josh breaks down a recent Facebook interaction that perfectly illustrates the exhausting tactics toxic people use to wear you down — from word salads to projection, reactive abuse, triangulation, moral superiority, and weaponised vulnerability.

You’ll learn:

• Why you’ll never “win” against a toxic person
• How they twist your words, deny reality, and drag you into chaos
• The difference between true vulnerability and manipulative victimhood
• How these same toxic tactics show up in cult-like communities and spiritual spaces
• Why gray rocking might be the only sane response

It’s raw, honest, a bit messy — and definitely dysfunctional.

Whether you’re healing from family dysfunction, dealing with online trolls, or navigating toxic dynamics in your life, this one will help you feel a little less crazy.

00:00 Introduction to Toxic Relationships

00:57 Personal Anecdote: The Persistent Commenter

04:32 The Facebook Confrontation

07:59 Understanding Reactive Abuse

17:17 The DAVO Tactic Explained

20:01 Confrontation and Gaslighting

22:22 Understanding Word Salad

23:45 Triangulation in Toxic Relationships

25:22 Weaponized Vulnerability

29:26 Moral Superiority and Cult-like Behavior

36:45 Personal Reflections and Community Building

40:55 Final Thoughts and Podcast Wrap-up

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What really happens when you cut ties with your own family?

In this episode, I’m joined by psychologist and author Karl Melvin, whose book Navigating Family Estrangement has been a lifeline for people trying to break free from toxic family systems. Together, we dive into the misunderstood world of family estrangement — exploring the deep grief, the guilt, the gaslighting, and the complex layers of going no contact.

We talk about:

• Why estrangement is sometimes the healthiest choice
• How society often sides with the abuser
• The pressure to forgive, reconcile, and “just move on”
• What healing can actually look like on the other side

Whether you’ve cut contact, are considering it, or are struggling to stay away, this conversation will help you feel seen, validated, and a little less alone.

Karl Melvin is an IACP (Irish Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists) accredited psychotherapist with an MA in Counselling and Psychotherapy. He has spent 14 years working with estranged adults of different perspectives, including adult sons and daughters, siblings and parents. He has spent several years training professionals on his own approach to understanding the complex reality of family estrangement in contemporary society and how to support clients through the various psychological, relational, and social challenges they face. 

He has published one paper in the Family Journal, entitled The Changing Impact and Challenges of Familial Estrangement, and his first book, Navigating Family Estrangement, published by Routledge, is a practical guide for professionals and estranged adults and is available from all book sellers now. 

Link to Book (There's sale on at the mo):

https://www.routledge.com/Navigating-Family-Estrangement-Helping-Adults-Understand-and-Manage-the-Challenges-of-Family-Estrangement/Melvin/p/book/9781032423067

Link to Workshop on Jun 5th (8 things everyone needs to know about family estrangement):

https://www.therapyacademy.ie/details/webinar/1673

Socials:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/karl-melvin-psychotherapist-ma-miacp-2a29679/

https://www.instagram.com/karl.melvin/

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In this deeply personal and vulnerable episode, Josh Connolly shares his journey to 13 years of sobriety. But this isn’t just a story about putting down the drink. It’s a story of survival, chaos, pain, and ultimately transformation.

Josh opens up about his early experiences with cannabis at age 12, the spiral into alcohol and hard drugs, and the chaos that followed — from blackouts and self-destruction to brushes with death. He recounts traumatic events, addiction-fueled madness, and his darkest moments, where the idea of escape felt like the only way out.

But this episode is more than just a retelling of a troubled past. It’s about healing. Josh reflects on how sobriety didn’t fix everything overnight, how emotional wounds ran deeper than the addiction itself, and how he learned to live with — and eventually love — himself.

Whether you’re struggling with addiction, supporting someone who is, or just curious about the raw reality of sobriety beyond the social media highlight reel, this episode is a must-listen.

🔹 Topics Covered:

• The raw reality of addiction — beyond the social media facade.
• The love affair with substances and the chaos that followed.
• The turning point — from suicidal despair to a life of service.
• The truth about sobriety — why it’s more than just quitting.
• Josh’s ongoing journey — the challenges and the gifts of 13 years sober.
• 
  

Listen now to hear the story behind the resilience.

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In the very first guest episode of Dysfunctional, I’m joined by writer and embodiment coach Leona Waller — and we go all in on the toxic side of self-improvement culture.

We explore how the wellness and personal development world can subtly (and not-so-subtly) feed the same control, shame and conformity that many of us grew up with. We talk about embodiment as an antidote — not the trendy version, but the real, messy, human kind. The kind that gets you out of your head, back into your body, and into a life that actually feels like yours.

We also dig into:

— Why gratitude lists can actually make things worse

— How capitalism hijacked healing

— Why being “zen” isn’t always the answer

— The problem with trying to meditate your trauma away

— And how embodiment can help you feel less crazy and more you

Leona Waller is a writer and facilitator helping people trust their own bodies and emotions more than Instagram wellness influencers. She’s the co-creator of The Body Knows, a newsletter and community using somatics and embodiment to help people stop optimizing life and start living it. With a background in neuroscience and emotional psychology, she creates spaces where people shed the shoulds and come home — to the power and joy that are their birthright.

Follow Leona’s work here:

🔗 The Body Knows on Substack

—

Subscribe to Dysfunctional for raw, unfiltered conversations about healing, systems, and seeing clearly — because if you grew up in dysfunction, chances are, you’re still surrounded by it.

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Back from the bank holiday chaos with a so-called “bite-sized” episode (spoiler: it’s not). I’m checking in after a couple of messy, kid-mode weeks—reflecting on how quickly I spiral into my childlike state and how the lows still hit me hard, even after all these years.

Then I’m answering some of your deep, messy, crunchy questions. Everything from “Is it ever okay to yell at a toxic parent?” to “Do narcissists know what they’re doing?” to “Why does the wellness industry feel so f*cking toxic?”

I also share where this podcast is going: we’re pulling the curtain back on toxic and dysfunctional systems, family, society, politics, wellness culture, the lot. If you’ve got guest ideas, I want them.

This one’s raw, honest, a bit sweary, and definitely dysfunctional.

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