Dropping your armour – Détails, épisodes et analyse

In this episode, Neha speaks to Steve Graef, a counseling psychologist with specific expertise in sport and performance psychology. Neha digs into Steve’s background, how he came to found Mindurance, and how he continues to use his guiding principle – LEGS – in his life and work. Their conversation considers both the theoretical and practical aspects of choosing to “dance” on your own terms. A thoroughly engaging, “excellently average” episode, we hope you find it insightful and enjoyable! 

Steve and Neha reference Tim Ferriss’ The 4-Hour Workweek a couple of times during their conversation Details of that book are 

Ferriss, T. (2007). The 4-hour workweek: Escape 9-5, live anywhere, and join the new rich. Crown Publishing Group. 

Steve also mentions his past experience with Gestalt training, including “polarities.” If you wish to read a bit more about such polarities, I suggest the following: 

Maurer, R. (2002). Managing polarities: An interview with Barry Johnson, Ph.D. Gestalt Review 6(3), 209-219. 

Reach out to Dr Steve Graef via https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstevegraef/  or follow him on Instagram https://linktr.ee/mindurance

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In this spotlight episode, Tolga shines a light on talent selection with Dr. Richard Hossiep. Richard is the co-founder and managing director of Applysia, a company that supports clients across industries with their unique assessment software. As an organizational psychologist with a diverse set of experiences including academia, consulting, and being a business leader, Richard has developed his keen interest in talent selection. Listen in as Tolga and Richard discuss the importance and impact of doing talent selection well. 

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Welcome to our special end-of-year episode, where Neha talks with past colleague and current professional peer Brian Stoll. Together they reflect on what it means to them to drop your armor – at work, at home, and with friends. As part of this conversation, they also dig into sharing on social media, “emotionally unloading” to our friends and loved ones, perfectionism, psychological safety, and how all these different things can support, block, and degrade true vulnerability. 

Useful resources for this episode 

Bruk, A. (1 November 2021) Other people don’t think you’re a mess. Scientific American. 

Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 115(2), 192–205. 

Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2022). You and I both: Self-compassion reduces self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 48(7), 1054-1067. 

Forest, A. L., Kille, D. R., Wood, J. V., & Holmes, J. G. (2014). Discount and disengage: How chronic negative expressivity undermines partner responsiveness to negative disclosures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 107(6), 1013–1032.  

Grant, A., & Brown, B. (2021). Taken for granted: Brené Brown on what vulnerability isn’t. TED.com podcast. 

Rosh, L., & Offermann, L. (October 2013). Be yourself, but carefully. Harvard Business Review.

As always please send your feedback to droppingyourarmour@atrain.com 

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Neha

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In connection to the episode on creating a compassionate world (link), where we briefly touched on the philosophy of Buddhism, this spotlight episode explores this topic further. Today our guest host Joachim Stempfle is talking with Maurice Jonquet, a practicing Mahayana Buddhist. Together they discuss how we can apply the spiritual teachings in connection with neuropsychological aspects in our modern world and how it can help us on our journey to a more compassionate leadership.

As always please send your feedback to droppingyourarmour@atrain.com 

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Neha

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Guest host Joachim Stempfle speaks with Compassion Focused Therapy founder Paul Gilbert. Paul shares how his early training and experiences helped him appreciate the importance of compassion and explains how Compassion Focused Therapy is linked to both scientific realities and spiritual philosophies. Joachim and Paul also discuss how compassion is not just a therapeutic tool, but something that is essential to thriving schools and workplaces. Paul’s warmth is infectious, and we hope it provides you with some positive, uplifting “emotional textures” to take away. 

To learn more about Paul’s work and Compassion Focused Therapy, visit the Compassionate Mind Foundation (https://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/). We also suggest the following books: 

Gilbert, P. (2009). The compassionate mind. Robinson. 

Gilbert, P., & Simos, G. (Eds.). (2022). Compassion focused therapy: Clinical practice and applications. Routledge. 

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This is a Spotlight episode, where the goal is to shine a light on certain topics together with an expert and explore it through different lenses. In this episode, we discuss emotional agility: What it is, why it’s important, and how to develop it as a skill. We speak with Andreia Lungulescu, who is a hands-on people and organizational development consultant and coach with a passion for nurturing and championing human potential. She has a background in clinical psychology and cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy, with specializations in schema therapy, co-active coaching, and compassion-focused therapy. Her knowledge about human emotions and behavior, combined with her years of practical experience in organizations and her spot-on pop culture references, make this an insightful and fun conversation.

Further readings and resources mentioned in this episode: 

Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the heart: Mapping meaningful connection and the language of human experience. Vermilion. 

Interview of Brené Brown by Oprah Winfrey on this book and related topics: https://www.oprahdaily.com/entertainment/books/a38569758/brene-brown-o-talks/  

David, S. (2016). Emotional agility: Get unstuck, embrace change, and thrive in work and life. Avery. 

Brené Brown podcast (part 1) with Susan David: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-dr-susan-david-on-the-dangers-of-toxic-positivity-part-1-of-2/ 

Brené Brown podcast (part 2) with Susan David: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-dr-susan-david-on-the-dangers-of-toxic-positivity-part-2-of-2/  

TED How To Be A Better Human podcast with Susan David: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-to-nurture-your-emotional-agility-with-susan-david/id1544098624?i=1000544114715  

TED Talk by Susan David: https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_david_the_gift_and_power_of_emotional_courage 

Frankl, V. E., (1959). Man's search for meaning. Beacon Press.  

[Original German publication: Frankl, V. E. (1946). Ein Psychologe erlebt das Konzentrationslager. Verlag für Jugend und Volk] 

 Frankl, V. E. (1979). The unheard cry for meaning. Touchstone. 

Nagoski, E. & Nagoski, A. (2019). Burnout: The secret to unlocking the stress cycle. Ballantine. 

Brené Brown podcast on this book: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-emily-and-amelia-nagoski-on-burnout-and-how-to-complete-the-stress-cycle/ 

Sapolsky, R. (2017). Behave: The biology of humans at our best and worst. Penguin. 

Willcox, G. (1982). The Feeling Wheel: A tool for expanding awareness of emotions and increasing spontaneity and intimacy. Transactional Analysis Journal, 12(4), 274–276. 

Films and television shows mentioned in this episode 

Doctor, P. (2015). Inside Out [Film]. Pixar Animation Studios; Walt Disney Pictures. (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2096673) 

Nolan, C. (Director). (2010). Inception [Film]. Warner Bros.,;a Legendary E

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Neha has a moving conversation with Maysoun Ramadan, who has forged a long career in the healthcare industry. In this conversation, Maysoun describes how her values have informed and motivated her life and her work and helped her address her own personal experiences with illness and grief. 

Additional resources and reading related to this episode: 

There are many charitable organizations worldwide which provide bereavement support. In Europe, your can find a list of potential organizations in your country here. 

Boccalandro, B. (21 January 2021). Why your values belong at work. Harvard Business Review. 

Clear, J, (2018). Atomic habits: An easy and provien way to build good habits and bread bad ones. New York: Avery. 

Rabow, M. W., Huang, C. S., White-Hammond, G. E., & Tucker, R. O. (2021). Witnesses and Victims Both: Healthcare Workers and Grief in the Time of COVID-19. Journal of pain and symptom management, 62(3), 647–656. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpainsymman.2021.01.139 

As always please send your feedback to droppingyourarmour@atrain.com 

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Neha

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A conversation with Marie-Louise Howett, the Chief Human Resources Officer at Cint. With more than 20 years of experience, Marie-Louise reflects on her career and the choices she made that stretched her out of her comfort zone and have brought her into her current dream job. The dual realities of those choices - the sacrifices, but also the joy - is an important lesson on the myth of "having it all."

Further Readings:

During the conversation, Neha and Marie-Louise discuss stretch assignments and getting out of one's comfort zone as a necessary part of career development. Neha refers to Senninger's (2000) model about learning zones, which differentiates between a comfort zone, a learning zone, and a panic zone. Similar to Senniger's model is Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's flow theory, which highlights the power of experiences finding that balance between the challenges of our current situation and the skills we have to meet those challenges.

• Beard, K.S. (2015) Theoretically Speaking: An Interview with Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi on Flow Theory Development and Its Usefulness in Addressing Contemporary Challenges in Education. Educational Psychology Review, 27, 353–364.
• Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: the psychology of optimal experience. New York: Harper and Row.
• Friedman, R. (16 December 2014). Why work should get a little harder every day. Harvard Business Review. (https://hbr.org/2014/12/why-work-should-get-a-little-harder-every-day)
• Lovejoy, C. (2018). The benefits of reflection and role models in learning medicine: An interview with Dr. Paquita De Zulueta. Cambridge Medicine Journal, 1-3. (https://cambridgemedicine.org/new/doi/cmj.2018.09.001)
• Senninger, T. (2000). Abenteuer leiten – in Abenteuern lernen. Münster: Ökotopia. 

Marie-Louise's views on having it all have been echoed by others, with former U.S. first lady Michelle Obama highlighting it as myth in 2018.

• Salam., M (7 December 2018) Does 'having it all' mean doing it all? The New York Times. (https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/07/business/michelle-obama-women-having-it-all.html)

As always please send your feedback to droppingyourarmour@atrain.com

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In this episode, you'll hear the story of Asma Ahmed. She's a clinical psychologist based in Karachi, Pakistan who's an active member of the Autism Spectrum Disorder Welfare Trust. Asma works intensely with children and people with autism and their families. She's extremely passionate about creating inclusive environments at school, in the workplace, and in society. Against this backdrop, we dive into the topic of neurodiversity, including understanding what neurodiversity means, and ways to create more support structures, reduce stigma, and accommodate people to improve lives. This includes challenging our own assumptions about what's normal, what's necessary, and what's desirable for a person to live well.

Further Readings on the topic of neurodiversity

• Doyle, N., & McDowall, A. (2021). Diamond in the rough? An "empty review" of research into "neurodiversity" and a road map for developing the inclusion agenda. Equality, Diversity and Inclusion: An international Journal. https://doi.org/10.1108/EDI-06-2020-0172
  • author Nancy Doyle is also the founder and Chief Research Officer at Genius Within, a social enterprise focused on supporting neurodiversity and neurominorities
• Silberman, S. (2015). Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and How to Think Smarter About People Who Think Differently. Avery/Penguin.

As always please send your feedback to droppingyourarmour@atrain.com 

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Neha

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Our spotlight episodes aim to provide a deep, comprehensive view of key topics. For our first spotlight episode, Neha talks with Joachim Stempfle about transformation. Bringing together ideas from philosophy, psychology, and business across two episodes, Neha and Joachim give us a lively and enlightening look at the concept of "organizational transformation" and how a human-centric approach enables both the inner transformation of people in the organization (part one) and the outer transformation of the organizational operating system (part two).

For further reading on concepts, authors, and primary sources mentioned in this spotlight, we suggest:

Frankl, V. E., (1959). Man's Search for Meaning. Beacon Press
[Original German publication: Frankl, V. E. (1946). Ein Psychologe erlebt das Konzentrationslager. Verlag für Jugend und Volk]
Frankl, V. E. (1979). The Unheard Cry for Meaning. Touchstone.

Koan (n.d.) MBO vs. OKRs: What are the differences? (blogpost) Inside the Labyrinth. via https://www.koan.co/blog/mbo-vs-okrs.

Rigby, D., Sutherland, J. & Takeuchi, H. (2016 May). Embracing agile: How to master the process that's transforming management. Harvard Business Review, 40-48, 50.

Weaver. W. (1948) Science and complexity. American Scientist 36(4), 536-544.

As always please send your feedback to droppingyourarmour@atrain.com 

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Neha

As always please send your feedback to droppingyourarmour@atrain.com

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