Do As We Say, Not As They Did – Détails, épisodes et analyse

You've had some dramatic break ups, but have you ever had a relationship that ended with an album full of bangers about dysfunction, heartbreak, and anger?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley break down Lily Allen's therapeutic divorce album, West End Girl. And I gotta tell ya, they're so here for seeing a powerful man actually get his just deserts. They go through each song and all the raw, messy, and painfully relatable emotions.

In between Harris and Dr. Liz's in-depth chat about an open relationship that's nothing more than a smokescreen for selfishness, they go over:

• The power of the Nice Guy™ persona

• Why saying yes doesn't always mean consent

• The reason why rules for opening relationships usually bring more hurt

• Dr. Liz and Harris' favorite breakup bangers 

Press play, pour a drink, and get ready to scream at David Harbour (and all the men who always fail upwards).

Time Stamps

00:00 Introduction  

01:00 West End Girl: The call that changed everything  

07:00 Ruminating: Saying yes when you mean no  

12:00 Madeline: Broken agreements and love-light gaslighting  

20:00 Sleepwalking: Emotional erasure  

26:00 Relapse: Trying to be the "modern wife"  

27:30 Nonmonogamummy: Insecurities, age, and emotional exposure  

29:00 Dallas Major: "I hate it here"  

31:00 Tennis: Emotional betrayal in the smallest things  

33:00 Pussy Palace: The moment of discovery  

36:00 Madeline (Revisited): Real consequences  

38:00 4chan Stan: The greatest insult on the album  

39:00 Beg for Me: Wanting to be desired  

40:00 Let You Win: No longer carrying his shame  

44:00 Fruityloop: It's not me, it's you  

49:00 Album Reflections

55:00 Favorite Breakup Songs

1:03:00 Outro & Where to Find Us

Stay Connected

📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/

💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social

🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod

⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

If you expected a date and ended up at a Jehovah's Witness meeting, what would you do?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell unpack the wonderfully cursed waters of Reddit relationship stories. First up: a man whose compliments feel more like insults. Then, a surprising trip to a Jehovah's Witness meeting ended with a day of gaslighting.

Join for Reddit stories, stay for:

• The realization that old British horror movies are just another Tuesday for Dr. NerdLove

• Vampire Diaries lore (and why they should have chosen a poly relationship)

• An in-depth conversation about what should be disclosed before a first date

Enjoy learning about accidental forays into religious cults, being a nerd pre-Pokemon, and the reminder that you don't need to be a regular Romeo to find relationships. You just need to treat people like people!

Time Stamps

00:00 Welcome, chaos Muppets!

01:00 Reddit story #1: "others won't find you hot"

04:30 Let's talk negging

06:00 Shakespeare, Sonnet 130, and the original "you're not pretty, but…"

09:30 The Madonna-Whore complex in modern dating

12:30 You can't make someone "unhot" to the world

15:00 The dangers of dating people for who you want them to be

17:30 Sex parties, attraction, and why everyone's hot

20:00 Poly brain vs. jealousy brain

22:00 Reddit story #2: Surprise! You're in a Jehovah's Witness meeting

26:00 Cult tactics: lovebombing and recruiting through romance

38:00 What should you disclose in early dating

43:00 Dr. NerdLove's near-miss cult experience

50:00 Don't use AI to talk to people

53:00 Ask questions, be curious, get laid

57:00 Pretending to be someone else kills your sex life

1:04:00 The true cost of lies (even small ones)

1:14:00 Let it go. Seriously.

1:15:00 Where to find us online!

Stay Connected

📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/

💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social

🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod

⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

Would you trade in your human partner for an AI chatbot?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley discuss the hilarious highs and unnerving lows of human-AI relationships chronicled in Wired Magazine. As capital H AI-Haters, Harris and Dr. Liz talk about what it actually means when you romance a robot.

Get ready for:

• Anime goth girlfriends (AI, of course)
• The merits of corporate-owned AI babies
• The ethics of dating when your partner can't say no

If you want to laugh and cringe and wonder about the beauty of human-to-human connection, find a cozy spot, kick up your feet, and enjoy the first episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did.

Time Stamps

00:00 Introduction

01:30 Rusty podcast hosts, burnout, and why they're back

05:50 Today's Topic: Following 3 AI-human couples on a weekend getaway

10:40 Damien & Zia

18:40 Elena & Lucas

22:10 Roleplay mechanics

25:20 Eva & Erin

29:10 The "blue pill" moment

32:40 What happens when AI only tells you what you want to hear?

36:10 Please don't get an AI therapist

40:30 What happens when companies shut down

43:40 Strangers using Snapchat AI as "support"

46:00 Damien's breakdown

49:50 Games, fiction, and attachment

52:20 Risky couples game

53:30 Eerie "AI would love this" vibes

55:10 And that's a wrap

58:00 Where to find the hosts & final thoughts

Stay Connected

📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/

💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social

🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod

⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

Have you ever cared about the amount of someone's…ahem…ejaculation?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell talk about the men who really, really care about shooting ropes like Spider-Man. That's right. They're talking about nutmaxxers. Fueled by the fantasies of porn and a desire for self-optimization, these men might say their "enhanced performance" is for their partners, but Dr. Liz and Harris have their doubts. 

Highlights of the episode:

• Porn "money shots" aren't what you think

• Fast and Furious movies are a little like porn

• Having sex…with your balls?! 👀

If you're interested in staying blissfully unaware about the secret lives of nutmaxxers, turn away now, because things are about to get a little sticky.

Time Stamps

0:00 – Intro bloopers & ADHD brains unite

2:00 – Why this podcast is pre-recorded

5:00 – Meet the Nutmaxxers: semen obsession & supplement culture

10:00 – Cum fetish vs. the unbearable cringe of this article

14:00 – Porn isn't real

20:00 – Male insecurity

26:00 – Fantasy vs. reality

34:00 – "I don't want a gallon on my face"

38:00 – Micropenises, oral skills, and redefining good sex

45:00 – Bad partners, poor communication, and load shame

52:00 – Actually useful advice

58:00 – Why men need to listen (and not just to each other)

1:06:00 – What's really sexy

1:12:00 – Final thoughts: Be a person, not a cum performance robot

Stay Connected

📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/

💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social

🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod

⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

Where do you draw the line between calling out cheaters and a surveillance state?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell dive deep (deep 😉) into the surveillance nightmare that is Cheater Buster's facial recognition software. While their hearts go out to folks who've been cheated on, they also can't overlook how this technology will 100% be used by stalkers and abusers.

They chat about public call-out culture and the complete lack of privacy we've all come to expect, how technology is somehow made with negative ethical considerations, and the fact that men are often the ones at the scene of the crime.

Highlights of the episode:

• FetLife privacy scandals

• Debating the ethics of "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Facebook groups

• Remembering a time when life wasn't the constant content grind

Before you race to see if your partner is secretly still on Tinder, listen to this. You might just find that trusting someone (or breaking up with them) is better than turning to spyware tech.

Time Stamps

00:00 - Welcome back!

02:00 - Cheater Buster, Tinder, and facial recognition

05:00 - FetLife privacy scandal

10:00 - Meta smart glasses and surveillance tech

16:00 - Why Cheater Buster is actually stalkerware

21:00 - Trust in relationships

24:00 - You can't prove a negative

31:00 - The death of privacy and content-ifying people's worst moments

36:00 - Weaponizing apps

43:00 - Dating entitlement

49:00 - Healing trust issues

54:00 - Dr. Liz and Harris get recognized

60:00 - Final thoughts

Stay Connected

📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/

💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social

🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod

⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

Have you ever met someone with a punchable face…and even more punchable opinions?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell endure the pain of hearing from a man who claims celibacy taught him that he's "too smart to find love," and though he comes close, he never actually considers the problems might just be…him.

Reading The Telegraph's article from the man himself, Mattha Busby, they break down his actual problems in finding love (spoiler alert: it's him), what might actually help him, and offer up new perspectives on what "intelligence," "cleverness," and "wit" actually entail.

Highlights of the episode:

• A men's group that makes you make vows with an axe??

• Dr. Liz and Harris' first pop culture crushes (kids today just don't understand)

• Knowing who David Bowie is isn't a sign of intelligence

If you're a smarty-pants and you want to get into other smarty-pants' pants, then this episode is for you! Dr. Liz and Harris share how to actually find folks whose interests align with yours, without being a major jerk in the process.

Time Stamps

00:00 - Intro and Doc Holliday shout-out

01:20 - The article: "Celibacy Taught Me I'm Too Clever to Find Love"

03:00 - Red flags and a punchable face

05:50 - Education ≠ intelligence

10:45 - "My girlfriends were hot but dumb" 🤢

14:00 - Being witty vs being an asshole

17:30 - Treating women as interchangeable roles

20:00 - Finding a wife vs building a partnership

23:30 - The illusion of intellectual superiority

26:30 - Why people don't text back

29:00 - What are you actually offering in a relationship?

33:00 - Cleverness as a defense mechanism

36:00 - Performance vs real conversation

40:00 - Attraction is socially conditioned

54:00 - Curiosity vs judgment

1:00:00 - You're a soggy saltine

1:14:00 - Conclusion and where to find us

Stay Connected

📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/

💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social

🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod

⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

There have been a lot of advancements in the adult toy industry over the last ten years, so why are toys for men and AMAB folks still stuck in the dark ages?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley are joined by Step (they/them), founder of the gender-explosive adult toy company, Cute Little Fkers, to talk about affirming adult toys for queer folks, why toys for AMAB folks have so much room to grow, and how creating more accessible toys is a good thing for everyone.

You don't want to miss:

• How Cute Little Fkers changed Kickstarter (for the better)!

• How toxic masculinity makes boring adult toys

• A fun story on how their toys can be hidden in plain sight

• How and where to consensually spank Step 😉

It doesn't matter what's in your pants, what size or shape of body you have, or how able-bodied you are; you deserve toys that feel good and affirm your experience and identity! If you're ready to kick boring toys, shame, and stigma to the curb, you'll love this episode.

Who is Step?

Step (they/them) founded Cute Little Fkers in 2019 to create cute, accessible adult toys for trans and queer folks. Today, they have a range of toys that are inclusive, body-friendly, and downright adorable to help folks of all genders, sexualities, and identities explore pleasure without shame, dysphoria, or rigid gender expectations.

Time Stamps

00:00 - Intro & Welcome Step with Cute Little Fkers

01:35 - What is Cute Little Fkers

03:50 - Disability, career shifts, and building a queer sex toy company

04:40 - The first adult toy campaign on Kickstarter

09:26 - "Gender neutral" vs "gender explosive"

10:43 - 1st Reddit post: r/MTF

13:05 - Why AMAB toys are aesthetically nightmarish

15:00 - Masculinity, shame, and toys for men and AMAB folks

19:03 - Why trans-inclusive toy design matters

22:43 - Step's toy recommendations and toy design philosophy

28:16 - PSA: don't buy your toys from Wildflower

30:55 - Why AMAB-focused toys have fallen behind

32:52 - Furries are holding the internet together

35:00 - Why AMAB folks deserve more pleasure exploration

38:38 - Why men may struggle with receiving pleasure

44:17 - 2nd Reddit post: r/S**Toys

46:00 - Accessibility tools and adaptive toys

57:10 - Breaking the "design binary" in adult toys

01:00:04 - Surviving fascism through queer joy and pleasure

01:02:28 - Where to find Cute Little Fkers

01:05:48 - Where to Find Dr. Liz and Dr. Nerdlove

Connect with Step and Cute Little Fkers:

🌐 Website: https://cutelittlefuckers.com/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cutelittlefkers/

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CuteLittleFkers/

Stay Connected

📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/

💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social

🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod

⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

Looksmaxxing promises a simple solution: get hotter, get laid. So why are so many men following it…and still miserable?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell explore the ugly, uglier, and ugliest sides of the looksmaxxing incel communities that, unfortunately, are no longer niche corners on the internet. They break down the origins of the incel and looksmaxxing communities, why it's gaining popularity, and how this line of thinking only leads to a harmful separation of sex and humanity.

They dig into:

• There is nothing you can do to guarantee romance or success in dating (and that's okay!)

• How looksmaxxing is more about status with other men than appealing to women

• The role of shame, unprocessed grief, and the just-world fallacy

• Attraction isn't math (it's actually just phrenology)

• What you can do to actually be more attractive to women!

 So put down the hammer, say no to drugs, and take it from people who aren't trying to sell you something: the only thing you need for happy, fulfilling romantic relationships is a personality (and a killer stroganoff recipe wouldn't hurt, either).

Time Stamps

00:00 - Intro & Clavicular update and context

04:16 - What is looksmaxxing (and why it's everywhere)

05:43 - The origins and rise of looksmaxxing

13:17 - The determinism and lack of accountability in this community

16:48 - Entitlement to women's bodies and sexual access

20:28 - Broken generational promises

29:13 - Gen Z's obsession with gooning

32:00 - Reducing your own humanity with the "Sexual Market Value" scale

36:16 - Softmaxxing vs hardmaxxing

37:17 - The harm steroids and meth can cause

41:25 - How Clavicular embodies the grift and attention economy

44:48 - The white supremacist origins of looksmaxxing ideals

48:10 - Why this is actually about male approval

54:13 - Sex for status rather than pleasure

58:38 - Why women aren't attracted to looksmaxxers

01:02:17 - Looks don't equate to sexual satisfaction

01:05:41 - The endless grind of looking "perfect"

01:12:28 - Why that mindset will leave you feeling like nothing is ever enough

01:19:45 - What these men actually want

01:22:14 - What these men could have instead

01:22:30 - Actual dating advice

01:25:59 - Where you can find Dr. Liz and Harris

Stay Connected

📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/

💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social

🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod

⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

Is it still "support" if you're trying to change how your partner expresses and explores their gender?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by the talented Rae Hill, a nonbinary advocate, educator, designer, and founder of Origami Customs.

Together, they read two Reddit posts about gender exploration, fashion, attraction, and what it actually means to support your partner during a transition…spoiler: it's not turning them into your personal makeover project. 

Highlights of the episode:

• Binders, gaffs, and gender-affirming clothing 101

• A relationship that's somehow 80% "just friends" but still dating?

• A rant about how boxy, beige, and boring "androgynous" clothes are

• A reminder that gender-affirming care is for everyone!

If you've ever felt weird in your clothes, frustrated by gendered fashion, or you know someone who could use you as their hype person, this one's for you. And as a reminder, don't be afraid to put on the damn skirt!

Who is Rae Hill?

Rae Hill (they/them) is a nonbinary advocate and educator. They founded Origami Customs, a community advocacy program and clothing line for folks of all genders, bodies, and abilities. Origami Customs creates custom gender-affirming garments and works with organizations worldwide to provide free gaffs, binders, and education to people facing access barriers. 

Time Stamps

00:00 - Welcome to Do As We Say, Not As They Did

01:33 - Episode guest: Rae Hill, founder of Origami Customs

02:17 - What is Origami Customs

04:00 - Binders, gaffs, and gender affirming garments

05:13 - Binding and tucking safety

13:22 - Gender affirming care is for everyone

17:30 - Reddit post #1: "My partner is genderfluid, and their fashion sense is stressful"

24:32 - The pronoun choices are telling

26:09 - Attraction, transphobia, and respectability politics

30:53 - Let someone love this person properly

39:07 - The fear of losing relationships when you come out as trans

42:09 - Why does it matter what your partner wears?

48:07 - Hype your partner up!

56:31 - Update: they're still together, but the plot thickens

59:12 - Why trans community and mentorship matter

01:01:15 - Reddit Post #2: "Why are androgynous clothes so boring?"

01:02:01 - Why does androgynous usually mean thin, white, and male?

01:09:14 - Gendered clothing categories make no sense

01:15:36 - Limited gender expression hurts everyone

01:21:12 - Fascism and fashion

01:26:31 - Ethical queer fashion, clothing costs, and censorship

01:33:01 - Where to find Rae, Harris, and Liz

Connect with Rae and Origami Customs:

https://origamicustoms.com/

https://www.instagram.com/origamicustoms/

https://www.youtube.com/@origamicustoms

https://www.facebook.com/origamicustoms

Stay Connected

📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/

💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social

🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod

⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

Has a TV show ever completely changed how you think about relationships?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) are talking about Heated Rivalry, the breakout HBO series that's not only making waves with fans, but also with pro athletes who've found the courage to come out because of it. It's even encouraging men to actually talk to each other.

They break down the show from every angle: masculinity, emotional vulnerability, queer identity, and body image. And they explore how it flips the script on who gets to have feelings, and what those feelings are allowed to look like, especially in the hyper-masculine world of pro-hockey.

Highlights of the episode:

• Why we need queer stories that aren't rooted in trauma

• What the show gets right about the male gaze

• How male friendships are the key to addressing the male loneliness epidemic

• And what to watch next when you're left with a Heated Rivalry-shaped hole in your heart

So lace up your skates, this episode might just change the way you think about masculinity, emotional connection, and what it really means to be vulnerable in your romantic and platonic relationships.

Time Stamps

00:00 We're talking about Heated Rivalry

02:08 Plot breakdown and why it became a surprise hit

05:00 "It wasn't for me" vs "I'm obsessed"

07:00 Shane and Ilya vs Scott and Kip

08:00 Exploring the male gaze through emotional subtlety

16:00 Body image, diet culture, and the horror of never eating carbs

21:00 A quick overview of the Heated Rivalry book series

26:00 Pro hockey's reaction to Heated Rivalry

31:00 The beauty of a queer story not rooted in trauma

33:00 Coming out scenes and corrective emotional experiences

40:00 Queer identity and being told "it's allowed"

41:00 Emotional connection and masculinity

48:00 Push-pull relationships and fear of intimacy

58:00 Passion projects vs corporate media

01:07:00 Representation that impacts real people

01:09:00 Favorite moments and emotional highlights

01:15:00 Other media about "man feelings" and the male loneliness epidemic

01:17:00 Outro

Stay Connected

📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/

💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social

🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod

📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod

⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod