In this episode we cover the Aquarius stellium, the Jupiter-Chiron square, the Saturn-Neptune conjunction, Survivor 50, the return of 2016, and the Greenland drama.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

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In this episode we cover Aquarius season, Venus and Mars in Aquarius, Neptune entering Aries, Maduro's kidnapping, Timothée Chalamet's natal chart, and the 2026 astrology of the year ahead.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

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In this episode we cover our own irl meetup in Maine, Saturn's Rx back into Pisces, eclipse season, the Taylor Swift-Travis Kelce engagement, the Pam Anderson-Liam Neeson fake romance, Christianity, diamonds, conspiracy theories, and Shrek.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

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In this episode we cover Kate's dissertation on integration, Venus in Leo, a September t-square, parenting in the age of social media, Sydney Sweeney, breast milk ice cream, Pam Anderson, Taylor's new album, martial law in D.C, and the Lana Del Rey-Ethel Cain drama.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

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In this episode we cover the first 2 weeks of Virgo Season, the end of Mercury retrograde, more Sun-Pluto anxiety, Venus entering Leo, the Manhattan shooter, the Ghislaine Maxwell meetings, AI bunnies on a trampoline, and Spaghett.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

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Instagram: @inkblot_astro | @kronosastrology

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WELCOME BACK! It's been five years since the last episode, and a lot has changed — Jess is now a certified and diploma-holding psychological astrologer with a full-time practice, and there's a brand new co-host in the mix: archetypal astrologer Kate Kettelkamp of Kronos Astrology.

In this episode we introduce ourselves and cover Leo Season, Mercury Retrograde, recent major outer planet ingresses, Love Island, Labubu, Dubai chocolate, matcha, and Natalie Portman McRib.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

Support + Subscribe: Patreon

Newsletters: Inkblot | Kronos

Instagram: @inkblot_astro | @kronosastrology

Tiktok: @inkblotastrology | @kronosastrology

Huge news: I'm now offering natal chart readings! You can book one HERE. Listen for more details, including how you can win a free reading, + a fascinating interview with data scientist Alex Boxer, author of A Scheme of Heaven: The History of Astrology and the Search for Our Destiny in Data. Purchase his book HERE.

✑ EXPLORE THE DARK.

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More Taurus earthiness, immortality, Ashton Kutcher + Mila Kunis and their Quarantine Pinot Noir, and a discussion on wine with veteran sommelier Zoe Wilkins. 

✑ EXPLORE THE DARK.

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Taurus season, societal shifts, Chris Crocker, We Are The Union, and a discussion on the recent rise of OnlyFans sex work with OnlyFans content creator Blake.

✑ EXPLORE THE DARK.

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Aries season, our personal and collective nemeses, Becky Lynch, Ratboys, and a discussion on the world of professional wrestling with wrestler, musician, and cohost of Grap Grrrlz podcast Shahnaz Zarif.

✑ EXPLORE THE DARK.

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All bets are off. Join me for some quarantine stress relief.

✑ EXPLORE THE DARK.

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Saturn moving into Aquarius, a mini forecast, and Mulan.

✑ EXPLORE THE DARK.

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In this episode we cover the Capricorn stellium, its Jupiter opposition, its T-square with Chiron, Venus-Mars aspects and medical aesthetics, New Year's Eve, and our Astrology & Pop Culture Year In Review: Top 10 Moments of 2025.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

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Mercury Retrograde, Pisces season, a mini forecast, Kaina, and a discussion on the names of the planets with etymological investigation enthusiast Helen Zaltzman. 

✑ EXPLORE THE DARK.

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Valentine's Day, Cupid, J. Lo + Shakira's halftime show, the Grammy's, the Iowa Caucus, the Impeachment Trial, and a sign compatibility segment with Jenny Owen Youngs.

✑ EXPLORE THE DARK.

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Uranus, the 2020 U.S. Primary election, Aquarius season, Slow Pulp, and an interview with Democratic strategist Ryan O'Donnell. Click here for the 2020 Primary election dates by state.

✑ EXPLORE THE DARK.

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Mars, the New Year, astrology memes, Adam Sandler, Capricorn season, Big Thief, and an interview with Courtney Perkins of @notallgeminis. 

✑ EXPLORE THE DARK.

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Happy New Year! This week we bid Chris adieu in his final episode, discuss Astrology Apps: which to take into the New Year and which to leave in dusty 2019, plus an Astro Probe with music journalist Dan Ozzi.

Stay tuned for an all new show in 2020.
Explore the dark, at InkblotAstrology.com

This week's advice: 
1. How do I stop being reclusive and start dating again?
2. My partner and I both have Pisces Sun and Pisces Moon, how can we become better communicators? 
3. My school's band director had an affair with my friend's mom and I reported him to admin after he yelled at a student about it but I lost friends as a result, how do I let things go and stop feeling guilty about what I did?

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Become an Inkblot
Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! This week we celebrate with a special episode on the Harry Potter Houses. We sort the 4 elements, 12 signs, and ourselves, with guest host Hrishikesh Hirway of podcasts Song Exploder + West Wing Weekly and musical projects The One A.M. Radio + Moors.

This week's advice: 
1. My family is moving away, should I stay where I am or move with them?
2. My partner doesn't like to do much; how can I entertain myself without abandoning them?
3. What sign is SANTA CLAUS?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

This week we bore Chris with the Aspects, wind down the educational content of the pod, talk wrestling, money spending, Chris vows to stop talking about s*x, plus an Astro Probe with musician Shamir.

This week's advice: 
1. What advice would you give to the WWE to be a more entertaining show?
2. What would you do with $100 mil and how does that relate to your natal chart?
3. How would you group the 12 signs into the Harry Potter houses?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

This week we talk about the Lunar Nodes, the ecliptic, the Russian whale jail, several ninja turtles, + more, plus an Astro Probe with musician and cartoonist Tommy Siegel of bands Jukebox the Ghost and Narc Twain.

This week's advice: 
1. A lot of my chart is earth and air but lately I've been crying a lot, why is that?
2. I found out I was the side chick for year so we broke up and have a rocky friendship because of his girlfriend, what should I do?
3. I'm in love with my best friend but I don't think it's mutual, how can I move on?

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Become an Inkblot
Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

This week we talk about the 12 houses, Howard Sasportas, why the 13th sign is fake news, a barfing dog, dunk tanks, + more, plus an Astro Probe with Frankie of NY based band Macseal.

This week's advice: 
1. My crush shot me down and it hurts being friends, how do I let go?
2. How can I make my Cancer s/o feel loved and appreciated? 
3. My s/o wants us to have a threesome with her coworker but I don't think it's the right person for a threesome, what should I do?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

HaPpY ThAnKsGiViNg!!! In this ep we all go to Hooters for Friendsgiving with Chris' beautiful wife Cassie Farren, where we examine Chris and Cassie's charts using what we've learned so far.

This week's advice: 
1. How can I remedy my blunt Capricorn lack of filter when I'm depressed?
2. How do twins work within astrology?
3. I've become so used to living in chaos that sometimes I create it on my own, how can I exist peacefully?

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Become an Inkblot
Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

In this episode we cover Capricorn season, the end of the Grand Water Trine, Mars entering Capricorn, the Luigi McDonald's snitch audio, Jeffrey Epstein's dental chair, and the 1994 release of Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

Support + Subscribe: Patreon

Newsletters: Inkblot | Kronos

Instagram: @inkblot_astro | @kronosastrology

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This week we discuss Pluto and why it's no longer a planet, Disney freaks, A Goofy Movie, RIP Walter Mercado, the first bands Chris and Jess were in, that Calvin Klein lesbian poster, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with bbweems, the new solo project of Abby Weems from Potty Mouth.

This week's advice: 
1. Are astrology tattoos tacky?
2. My band asked me to switch instruments, are they trying to kick me out?
3. My Mars and Venus don't seem compatible with my wife's Mars and Venus, what does that mean?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

This week we discuss Neptune, the current Mercury Retrograde, the unfortunate way in which bears hibernate, Chris' new 55" tv, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Kevin Devine.

This week's advice: 
1. How can I make my partner more comfortable with having sex more often?
2. My partner is usually earthy and grounded while I am watery and ungrounded, but now they're going through a hard time and the roles have flipped, what should I do?
3. How do I know if any of my planets were in retrograde when I was born / what sites or apps can I use that will show me?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

Your astro hosts enjoy a candle lit dinner at the local Red Lobster. We review the 12 signs, compare them to Red Lobster menu items, and catch up w Chris on where he's at w astrology.

This week's advice: 
1. What are your craziest schemes on how to get my first kiss?
2. Does astrology apply to dogs?
3. What are your tips for getting over a bad breakup?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

ITS A HALLOWEEN EP. We watched all 3 Screams and talked about the characters as sign/planet archetypes, our Halloween costumes, Pixar depression, 90s lesbian fashion, Mojo Jojo, astrology apps, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Mike Kinsella of American Football + Owen.

This week's advice: 
1. What's the $30 astrology app y'all talk about?
2. I keep having bad luck and my daily horoscopes keep getting worse, how do I use astrology to steer me in the right direction?
3. Advice on dating someone with the same sun sign as you?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

In our sweet 16 ep we review Saturn, discuss the outer planets, get deep inside Uranus, Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson, The Parent Trap, Jeff Foxworthy, Ben Franklin, the Purge, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Jaclyn O'Connell of Philly-based company Bittersweet Media.

This week's advice: 
1. Do people with conflicting signs in their chart tend to be more stressed or tense?
2. Any advice on how to foster a DIY creative community near me?
3. I recently moved to a new place with my bf who is making friends, how do I find friends too and fit into my new life?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

This week we talk about Saturn, Amanda Bynes' vagina, the college admissions scandal, Beauty & the Beast, 50 Shades of Chris, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Evan Weiss of Chicago-based band Into It. Over It.

This week's advice: 
1. How do I move past the feeling of being incapable and inferior?
2. How do I stop being jealous in relationships?
3. I feel like I'm doing everything right but I still feel lost, what can I do?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

CHRIS IS HOME FROM TOUR. This week we talk about the four Elements, pool jet orgasms, Rain-X, Jessica Rabbit, Chris' hypothetical murder podcast, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Hrishikesh Hirway of podcasts Song Exploder + West Wing Weekly and of musical projects The One A.M. Radio + Moors.

This week's advice: 
1. I'm 16 and stressed that I won't be motivated to work hard when I get older, how do I maintain my focus and goals?
2. I'm a triple Scorpio, am I doomed?
3. I've never dated an Earth sign and I want to, is it weird to seek out certain signs to date?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

Another advice marathon 4 u. Regular episodes return NEXT WEEK.

This week's advice: 
1. I was born early, does this impact my sun sign?
2. I'm frustrated with my own emotions, how can I nurture my moon?
3. My bf just moved away, how can I make my LDR work?
4. Does astrology influence your impressions of people?
5. How can I find balance in my work and creative life?
6. My antidepressants make it hard to feel anything, what should I do?

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Become an Inkblot
Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

Chris is still away on tour so Jess and Producer Jenny have a slumber party-style Girls Night, complete with face masks/pajamas/snacks, astrology review, gossip about hot people, + Jenny's List, featuring an Astro Probe with Leah Wellbaum of LA-based band Slothrust.

This week's advice: 
1. Should I move in w my partner or stay living w my parents?
2. I'm about to move in with my long time partner, what tips do you have?
3. I saw someone at a music store guess people's signs based on their guitar pedal choices, is this real or a scam? 

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

This week we SWAP ROLES. Chris teaches Jess about something he loves that she knows nothing about — Tom Cruise's Edge of Tomorrow (2014) — and this time we give Producer Jenny A MIC (despite her very tender sore throat), featuring an Astro Probe with Samira Winter of LA-based band Winter.

This week's advice: 
1. What is an N Node? And how do people with heavy Libra learn to stop focusing on pleasing everyone?
2. How can I learn to show emotion while still keeping things in harmony with others?
3. Jenny attempts to ask Jess and Chris for advice :/ 

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

In this episode we cover Saturn stationing direct in Pisces, the Mars-Saturn-Neptune square, parasocialism, aliens, organ donors, Wicked 2, the Epstein files, reaching flow state, and the shuttering of MTV, Farmer's Almanac, and Teen Vogue.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

Support + Subscribe: Patreon

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Instagram: @inkblot_astro | @kronosastrology

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This week we talk Jupiter, Jess' ghost story, cat invasions, Boston terriers, letting ppl touch your lemons, emo Magellan, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Steph Knipe of Adult Mom.

This week's advice: 
1. The U.S. sucks, should I move to Canada?
2. How do I make things less awkward with one of my co-workers?
3. Is it worth continuing my long distance relationship if they won't commit? 

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

This week we talk Mars, candy bars, aphrodisiacs, Anchor Man, Winnie the Pooh, homeschool kids, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Sarah Tudzin of LA-based band Illuminati Hotties.

This week's advice: 
1. How many babies should I have?
2. I'm starting college, how do I survive and make friends?
3. Can Jess expand on how her brand of astrology isn't rooted in mysticism? 

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

This week with an audience of live spiders we discuss Venus, gravitational embraces, Oedipus, Banksy, prog rock, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Ally Einbinder, bassist of LA based band Potty Mouth.

This week's advice: 
1. How can my wife and I relight the flame?
2. I landed my dream job but my bosses always fight and make my environment bad, what do I do?
3. Can we expect an astrology-themed prog rock album from Jess and Chris?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

This week we take a break from teaching Chris astrology and launch our first advice marathon, featuring an Astro Probe with Conor Murphy, vocalist of St. Louis based bands Foxing and Smidley.

This week's advice: 
1. Does being born on the cusp of two signs bear much significance?
2. How do you stay hopeful about connecting with others?
3. My life feels like it's spiraling, where does it get better?
4. I don't like going to my gf's family parties, what do I do?
5. I have a good job that's adding to my resume but the environment sucks, what do I do??
6. Can people figure out a good 3rd person to join their relationship based on sun signs?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

This week we discuss Mercury (including retrograde), Gen Z, immortality, Deadpool, + more.

This week's advice: 
1. How do you ask someone for their natal chart without it being weird?
2. How would astrology work if you were born on another planet?
3. Is it crazy to purchase someone else's birth certificate online to make their natal chart?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

This week writer/comedian/actor Brittany Ashley joins us to discuss The List, where we look at the sun/moon signs of all our romantic partners and dissect our love patterns. We also introduce a NEW SEGMENT HEHE called Astro Probe, where we lightning round guests with 3 personal questions. 

This week's advice: 
1. How do I find love in a dating app age?
2. How can I stop trauma bonding and start flirting/dating?
3. How do I keep things romantically casual?

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Become an Inkblot
Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

This week we discuss the Moon, moms, the WB frog, Hooters, + more.

This week's advice: 
1. In new relationships, when is it necessary to bring up my ex-fiancé who left me for someone else?
2. I need a mattress for $400 or less, what should I get?
3. I recently discovered I am a Pisces-Aquarius cusp, what sort of changes should I make based on this information?

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Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

In our third episode we discuss the Rising Sign (with the assistance of a maraca), Snooki, The Sopranos, classic rock bass lines, + more.

This week's advice: 
1. Every time I hang out with the person I've been seeing she wants to get drunk, but I want to try hanging out sober. What do I do?
2. What has helped you keep going when you've felt stuck?
3. When I talk to the girl I like my confidence is nowhere to be found, how do you build confidence? 

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Become an Inkblot
Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

In our second episode we discuss the 12 signs and their corresponding vehicles, the number of udders a cow has, seeking retribution from your dentist, + more.

This week's advice: 
1. How do I get my therapist to stop bringing astrology into my sessions? 
2. Do certain signs attract or repel other signs?
3. I'm in a depressive episode and usually chop trees down as self care but now they're all chopped down, what should I do?

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Become an Inkblot
Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

In our first episode we discuss the natal chart, the Big 3, why we don't trust moms, Long John Silver's, our therapists, + more.

This week's advice: 
1. My significant other is flirting with someone else and I only know about it because I secretly read their texts 
2. I have a crush on a guy at work and someone told me he's into me, should I make a move? 
3. How do you stop loving someone who broke your spirit?

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Become an Inkblot
Astrology contributions at Hooligan Magazine

Astro Blast was produced by Jenny Owen Youngs
Art by Chris Farren
Theme song by Jess Abbott, Chris Farren, Jenny Owen Youngs

In this episode we cover Sagittarius season, Venus in Sagittarius, Mercury retrograde, the government shutdown, Mamdani's mayoral election victory, Rosalia's new album, The Mummy 4, Scream 7, and social media etiquette.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

Support + Subscribe: Patreon

Newsletters: Inkblot | Kronos

Instagram: @inkblot_astro | @kronosastrology

Tiktok: @inkblotastrology | @kronosastrology

In this episode we cover the Scorpio Sun-Pluto square, Mars in Sagittarius, Roof Man, Kirsten Dunst & Sofia Coppola, the government shutdown, the NBA/mob gambling scandal, the Louvre robbery, & Vogue's new editor.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

Support + Subscribe: Patreon

Newsletters: Inkblot | Kronos

Instagram: @inkblot_astro | @kronosastrology

Tiktok: @inkblotastrology | @kronosastrology

In this special Halloween episode we cover Scorpio season, the Mercury-Mars conjunction, mystic rectangles, the 8th house, Edgar Allen Poe's natal chart, the Salem witch trials, Jack the Ripper, the Smurl hauntings, Kate's own incubus haunting, the history of Halloween, Taylor Swift's album release, Greta Thunberg's power haircut, and the return of the Choco Taco.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

Support + Subscribe: Patreon

Newsletters: Inkblot | Kronos

Instagram: @inkblot_astro | @kronosastrology

Tiktok: @inkblotastrology | @kronosastrology

In this episode we cover Libra season, Venus in Libra, the Mercury-Mars conjunction, Jupiter returns, Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco, TikTok cronyism, free speech, Bad Bunny, Twin Peaks, and pumpkin spice lattes.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

Support + Subscribe: Patreon

Newsletters: Inkblot | Kronos

Instagram: @inkblot_astro | @kronosastrology

Tiktok: @inkblotastrology | @kronosastrology

In this episode we cover Libra season, eclipse season, Mars in Scorpio, Freakier Friday, bathhouses, The Imp of the Perverse, the TikTok trade deadline, Nike's new slogan, Charlie Kirk, and frogs.

Book a Reading: Jess Abbott | Kate Kettelkamp

Support + Subscribe: Patreon

Newsletters: Inkblot | Kronos

Instagram: @inkblot_astro | @kronosastrology

Tiktok: @inkblotastrology | @kronosastrology