Disordered: Anxiety Help – Détails, épisodes et analyse

This week Drew and Josh are looking at the social impacts of anxiety. What happens when panic attacks, anxiety waves, or a flood of scary intrusive thoughts happens in public or while in social situations or when interacting with friends, family members, co-workers, or relationship partners?

If your past experiences in life or past relationships have contributed to developing self-beliefs or persistent worries about being rejected, excluded, or being exposed as being "less than", you may be tempted to insist that being anxious in social settings can't possibly be OK and that there must be some special way to approach this issue.

The short answer is that there really is no special way, and the same principles will apply. Its always helpful to be able to identify reasons why your threat response has latched onto themes like rejection, exclusion, or being unworthy or less than.

Even then the path forward is THROUGH. In this episode we're talking about identifying and challenging core beliefs focused on social fears, and learning two valuable lessons :

1. The worst case often does not happen

2. Even if it does, you are capable of handling the feelings that come with that

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Disordered Roundtable is coming! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Humans will often make the mistake of trying to apply our analytical and problem solving skills in areas where they do not belong. Anxious people - people struggling with anxiety disorders - do this all the time.

• Are you trying to fix how you feel?
• Are you trying to solve your anxiety and figure it out?
• Are you in the habit of trying to control how you feel, engineering away bad feelings and trying to manufacture only good feelings?
• Are you always on the lookout for more tools, tips, techniques, and instructions on what's good "for anxiety?"

These are hints that you might be a fixer or a perfectionist or both, and that you might be trying to fix or solve your anxiety .... perfectly. If this is you, tune in to this episode of Disordered for more on the fixing trap and how what seems like a good idea can often backfire and make things worse.

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Disordered Roundtable is coming! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Mindfulness is good for anxiety, right? Isn't this what everyone says? Mindfulness fixes anxiety and makes you happier? Isn't that it?

Well ... not really. This week Drew and Josh are taking a look at the practical applications of things like meditation and mindfulness practice in the context of anxiety disorders and anxiety recovery. A few key points:

• Mindfulness is paying attention to what you want to pay attention to without judgment or evaluation of your ability to pay attention.
• PRACTICE is the key. The practice of training one's attention is where the win is. This is something we do. A process. It's not a state we achieve or a skill to perfect. Expecting calmness, happiness, or perfection in meditation or mindfulness is not a good approach.
• Mindfulness and meditation are NOT calming tools or anxiety shields in this context. Please do your best to steer clear of trying to use these concepts to escape from your anxious state. That usually leads to frustration and a much more fragile state of recovery.
• Mindfulness and meditation apps are great! General wellness advice on how to use mindfulness and meditation is great. Just be careful about trying to apply general advice to the specific context of disordered anxiety and recovery.

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The book we talked about in this episode is Drew's "Seven Percent Slower" which is a short, friendly read on how to use the principle of slowing down to help navigate more mindfully through anxiety, fear and stress. Learn more here.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Everyone talks about the fight or flight response. But what about the freeze and fawn responses, which are also found in the anxiety disorder community?

This week Josh and Drew dig into the freeze response to anxiety, panic, and perceived threat. What is the freeze response? What does it look like? Does the freeze response mean being literally frozen and completely immobilized? Do we need special instructions or rules for how to "fix" the freeze state when anxious or experiencing panic?

Along the way, the guys also touch on the fawn response, which also doesn't get enough discussion in this community. We'll be doing a dedicated fawn response episode next week.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

When working through the process of chronic or disordered anxiety recovery many will find that at some point they are fixated on or have become a bit obsessed with monitoring and evaluating their mood.

This week on Disordered Drew and Josh take a look at why recovering and anxious people tend to get stuck in "mood monitoring mode". Generally speaking, the issue here is the belief that mood is an important indicator of recovery progress or status, or that mod is a predictor of doom or certain downward spiral. Little room is allowed for the natural ebb and flow of mood that all humans experience organically every day.

If you find that you're always monitoring your mood to check to see if you're feeling "right" or if you're OK, this episode may shed some useful light on the topic for you, so tune in.

As always, some successes are shared by members of the community, and the guys answer a question about compulsively consuming anxiety and mental health content and seeking the "miracle cure" for an extended period of time.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-----

Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

How does one approach recovery from chronic or disordered anxiety when grief is part of the picture? Do the same principles apply? Do we use concepts like acceptance, surrender, or willful tolerance when handling grief?

Grief is a powerful thing that will almost certainly impact not just anxiety recovery but all aspects of life and even daily functioning at times. In this episode Josh and Drew explore the relationship between anxiety, anxiety recovery, grief, and the grieving process.

This can get complicated and as always there are subtle details and nuances so tune in. We hope you find this episode helpful.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

This week on Disordered we're looking at anxiety focused on relationships, specifically a form of OCD known as Relationship OCD (ROCD).

ROCD - like all forms of OCD - will glue itself to things that really matter to us. In this case, being in loving, secure, successful relationships with people we love and who love us. Someone with ROCD even when involved in what by all accounts may be a very healthy and satisfying relationship experiences doubt about various aspects of those relationships. Far beyond the usual questions and doubt that all people might experience now and then, ROCD doubt will trigger extreme discomfort and a sense of distress, demanding that one engage in rituals and compulsions designed to alleviate that sense of distress.

The thing is ... as usual ... that relief never lasts. ROCD will toss whatever assurance, solution, or peace our compulsions bring us, demanding that the cycle of doubt and rituals be repeated again and again.

The episode does include discussion of attachment theory/styles and self-esteem issues that may in fact play a role for people with ROCD, however the focus remains on treating the OCD itself before digging into what may be associated issues.

As always, the guys share some success stories from the listener community and answer a question about the difference between distraction and productive focusing of attention.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

WHAT ABOUT NOCTURNAL PANIC ATTACKS? HOW DO WE DEAL WITH THOSE?

Nocturnal panic attacks are scary, disturbing, disruptive, and often feel like they are different from any other kind of panic attack. Anxious people will often insist that they are special, they can't possibly be approached with an attitude of tolerance or surrender, and that there must be special instructions or techniques for preventing them, stopping them, or getting over them.

But nocturnal panic attacks, as difficult as they are to experience, are not special nor different. This week on Disordered Josh and Drew are digging into what nocturnal panic attacks are all about and why they seem different or in need of a particular or special approach.

The guys also touch on how nocturnal panic attacks can impact people struggling with OCD or recurring or intrusive thoughts. There's also a discussion of scary or vivid dreams and how they are also often interpreted as dangerous or very important.

As always we have some excellent "did it anyways" from the community and an excellent question about what happens when living according to one's values becomes a bit extreme and results in overwhelm and burnout.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠

-----

Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

WHAT DOES "VALUES DRIVEN RECOVERY" MEAN?

Anxiety recovery can be seen as one long journey away from fear driven behavior and toward behaviors that support the things we really value in life. This week Josh and Drew are talking about what values driven recovery mean and how your values - the things that matter to you and make you who you are and want to be - play a role in the recovery process.

A few key points from this episode:

• Identifying and exploring your values is worthwhile because knowing WHY you are choosing to do scary, difficult things can support your recovery efforts.
• Not really remembering what non-anxious you looks like is a common experience in our community. Focusing on values and can help us re-connect to who we really are rather than who anxiety tells us to be.
• Connecting to your values and working on values driven recovery is a great plan, but be careful about assuming that your values will instantly override your fear. Sometimes but look to your values as a source of motivation, not as a way to smash anxiety and run it over.
• Sometimes life gives us no choice and waves our values in our faces, demanding that we either follow them or retreat in a given moment. See if you can recognize those moments and use them in a positive way rather than defaulting to feeling defeated when you can't easily "rise up" to meet those challenges on demand.

As usual we're celebrating some "Did It Anyway" submissions from members of the community, and we answer a question about how social anxiety and agoraphobia can be connected in some cases.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠

-----

Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

BUT WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU'RE TENSE AND SORE? HOW CAN YOU HANDLE THAT?

This is one of those questions we get asked all the time. In this episode of Disordered, we're taking a look at how tension, soreness, twitches, and feelings of muscle weakness fit into the anxiety and recover picture.

Anxious, scared bodies are going to anxious, scared body things. That's how we're designed. There's nothing wrong with being medically checked, and once you've been cleared your job becomes acknowledging that tension and related issues are going to be part of this equation.

It's not the tension, the soreness, or the twitching that matters most. These are certainly impactful and unpleasant, but the part we care most about is the continued choice to focus on these sensations, ruminate on them, and attempt to frantically escape from them or force them to stop. That just makes things worse.

Once again, we find ourselves confronted with the difficult task of acknowledging in a compassionate way, then exercising the skills of letting go and willfully tolerating an unpleasant experience. Why? So we can learn that unpleasant doesn't automatically equal dangerous or catastrophic.

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠

-----

Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, when you have questions about your well-being, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.