Dear Doula – Détails, épisodes et analyse

TW: This episode contains adult content of a sexual nature 

As a doula, I've had countless conversations with new parents navigating the complexities of intimacy after childbirth. Whether it’s regaining libido, feeling physically or emotionally more comfortable having sex, or adjusting to the significant hormonal shifts postpartum, there's a lot tied into it.

This week, I’m joined by one of the best people in the business to help me unpack these issues: somatic sex educator Kiana Reeves. Our conversation highlights the importance of patience, understanding, and open communication in postpartum intimacy and Kiana encourages us to prioritize self-care, redefine intimacy, and seek professional support when needed. As the chief education officer for sexual wellness brand Foria®, we also get to hear her top product recommendations for enhancing intimacy after childbirth!

References

Visit the Foria® website 

(Use discount code “DearDoula” for 20% off all Foria® products!)

Follow Foria® on Instagram

Connect with Kiana:

Follow her on Instagram

Visit her website

Steamy Chick Institute

Ellen Heed

Tami Lynn Ken

Kimberly Ann Johnson

You can follow Brandi and her work @deardouapodcast on IG, @brandi_jordan_official IG, and send questions, comments and platitudes to brandi@deardoulapodcast.com. Have a question you want Brandi to answer? Shoot her an email or a DM and she might include it on her next podcast episode!

Audio Stamps

• 01:27 - Brandi’s guest, Somatic Sex Educator Kiana Reeves, tells us about her background and the people she serves.
• 03:23 - Kiana discusses the emotional, physical, and hormonal aspects of postpartum intimacy.
• 09:22 - As the chief education officer at Foria®, Kiana shares how this company and its products cater to the female body.
• 11:03 - Brandi and Kiana discuss how lack of sexual education can cause problems further down the line with consent and sexual pleasure.
• 14:42 - Kiana talks about the role of sexual pleasure in childbirth and the shame surrounding this.
• 15:41 - We find out what moms should focus on to maintain sexual health and wellness and what to do if you’re still struggling in the pleasure department.
• 21:54 - Kiana explains how to judge if someone is a reputable sex therapist or not.
• 24:50 - Brandi asks about the stigma surrounding somatic vaginal work.
• 30:32 - Kiana recommends some fun products that she thinks listeners would enjoy using and trying

TW: If you have lost a child, had birth complications, or know someone who has, please be aware that some of those themes will be discussed in this week's show.

Many of us dream of the day that you finally get to meet your baby. Labor and delivery is one of the most powerful, life-changing events not only for you, but for your family too. And so getting ready for that moment to make sure that you deliver a healthy baby, and that nothing happens to your baby during childbirth is so incredibly important.

Gina Mundy is a childbirth attorney and mother of three. After spending over twenty years analyzing the decisions made during childbirth, it is now her mission to share this information so that families around the world can experience safer childbirth.

I am delighted to speak with Gina in this episode about some of the insights from her one-of-a-kind book that blends together the realms of medicine and law:  A Parent's Guide to a Safer Childbirth. Listen in to discover some of the most common problems that occur during childbirth and how YOU can help prevent them.

References

 A Parent's Guide to a Safer Childbirth by Gina Mundy

Connect with Gina:

Visit Gina’s website

Instagram: @GinaMundy  

Facebook: Gina Mundy, Author 

Linked In: Gina Mundy 

Twitter: @ginamundy_  

You can follow Brandi and her work @deardouapodcast on IG, @brandi_jordan_official IG, and send questions, comments and platitudes to brandi@deardoulapodcast.com. Have a question you want Brandi to answer? Shoot her an email or a DM and she might include it on her next podcast episode!

Audio Stamps

01:28 - Gina shares her journey to becoming an attorney that specializes in childbirth cases.

02:55 - We discover the most common factor in the childbirth cases Gina deals with.

07:33 - Brandi asks what Gina recommends with the use of Pitocin to enable a safer birth.

09:44 - Gina explains how busy labor and delivery units are preventing safe births and the importance of having a baby advocate.

11:47 - Brandi and Gina discuss the role of doulas in supporting parents by working alongside the delivery team.

18:00 -  We learn how every hospital system is so different and the importance of checking out the hospitals in which you went to birth if possible.

21:57 - We discover how the complications and the mistakes that Gina sees in childbirth cases typically occur after the patient's water has broken

26:13 - Brandi asks if Gina has seen evidence of the black maternal health crisis in the work that she does.

27:42 - Gina talks about the approach she took when writing her book. It is not about scaring people about what can go wrong, but how to make sure it goes right. 

31:36 - Gina encourages us to be ready and have a plan for your birth so you can enjoy the moment you’ve been looking forward to.

In today’s fast-paced world, “pause, rest, be” are three simple words that many of us (especially parents!) often overlook. Society doesn’t give us any accolades for taking time out to rest, but as people’s schedules get busier, our presence and connectedness as humans gets weaker.

Joining me today to normalize and demystify the practice of rest, is Octavia Raheem, an award-winning author, rest coach, and restorative yoga teacher. Octavia invites us into practices that enhance presence, groundedness, and a better sense of wellbeing– all of the things that we need and desire, yet are not reflected in our day-to-day living and calendar. We also explore how we can instill this practice into our children, without feeling like we’re limiting their opportunities. 

References:

Connect with Octavia:

Visit her website

Follow her on Instagram

Connect with Octavia on LinkedIn

Learn more about Devoted to Rest™, a transformational rest focused experience for visionary women leaders making a high impact in their fields

Octavia’s books:

“Gather”

“Pause, Rest, Be”

You can follow Brandi and her work @deardouapodcast on IG, @brandi_jordan_official IG, and send questions, comments and platitudes to brandi@deardoulapodcast.com. Have a question you want Brandi to answer? Shoot her an email or a DM and she might include it on her next podcast episode!

If you are looking for support with your children, you can reach out to us at The Cradle Company for more information on hiring a parenting or baby specialist.

If you appreciate Dear Doula, please take a minute to subscribe, rate and review!

Time Stamps

1:42 - Octavia tells us about her bestselling book “Pause, Rest, Be” and what brought her to the space of telling people that they need to pause.

4:58 - Brandi asks Octavia how we can decondition ourselves from the narrative that we can only be successful if we are being productive.

10:50 - Rest isn't just simply sleeping, but it does start with good sleep hygiene. Recording restful, affirming, and restorative messages for you and your children can help to wind down.

13:59 - People are very overscheduled but embracing blank space can yield a lot of creativity.

16:36 - For people who didn’t have access to lots of activities growing up, it can lead to overcompensating and putting our kids in things to make up for what we didn't get. 

22:12 - Octavia and Brandi share their personal stories of times they have been overly productive to feel worthy and how they were able to catch this and build in rest and space.

27:46 - Brandi asks Octavia how she handles people who feel like they understand they need to rest but think that they don’t have time.

34:07 - Octavia invites us into a one minute pause to help us embody the practice of pausing so that we can start to find that drop of peace for ourselves in our everyday lives.

When you've been a doula for as long as I have, you start to get a lot of the same questions—which comes as no surprise for the absolute flood of information, products and advice new parents are given. 

That's why, to kick off season 3 of Dear Doula, I'm doing a quick overview of my top 15 most-asked questions. Wondering what diapers, bottles, or blankets are best? Not sure if those sleepy "dream feeds" are the right call? This is the episode for you. 

Brandi's Recommendations:

• Bottles and Breastfeeding
  • Wabi Bottle Sterilizer
  • Dr. Brown's Bottles
  • Swehl
• Bras and Clothes
  • Kindred Bravely
  • Target Nursing Bras
• Diapers and Wipes
  • Pampers Swaddlers
  • Kirkland Wipes at Costco
  • DiaperChamp Diaper Pail
  • Ubbi Diaper Pail
  • Keekaroo Peanut Changer
  • Dy-Dee Diaper Service (the cloths also make great burp cloths!)
• Baby Carriers and Lounges
  • Dockatot Baby Lounge
  • Artipoppe Baby Carriers
  • Solly Baby Carriers
• Sleep
  • Sleep Pea Swaddle
• Care For Mom
  • OHLOLLY Lotions and Skincare
  • Osea Body Oil
• Other Recommendations
  • NoseFrida (and other Frida products)

My Interview with Romper: "Do I Need A Baby Bottle Sterilizer?"

If you appreciate Dear Doula, please take a moment to subscribe, rate, and review! 

Get more on Instagram from Brandi and Dear Doula

Have questions or comments? Want to suggest a topic or guest? Reach out to brandi@deardoulapodcast.com.

Podcast Description

Working with families for the past 20 years I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to relationship issues. There has been no shortage of relationship stories from life in the trenches, including a dad leaving in the middle of the night to go to Vegas just 3 days into postpartum!

Despite its prevalence in society, divorce remains such a taboo topic. People can feel a sense of shame and failure when separating from a partner, and emotions are often running high. So how do we continue to prioritize the children when going through a divorce? And can we reframe divorce to be a positive experience for our kids?

In today's epsode, I’m delighted to be joined by Kim Korven, aka The Conflict Queen, who helps us to explore a gentler way through family conflict and reminds us that while you won't be the first or the last to do it, you can do it where everyone wins.

Connect with Kim

Visit Kim’s website: www.gentlewaydivorce.com

References

“High Conflict” by Amanda Ripley

“Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After” by Katherine Woodward Thomas

“Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It” by Chris Voss

Kim Korven’s workbook: how do I tell my husband I want a divorce?

If you have further questions about this topic, you can follow Brandi and her work @deardoulapodcast on IG, @brandi_jordan_official IG, and send questions, comments and platitudes to brandi@deardoulapodcast.com. Have a question you want Brandi to answer? Shoot her an email or a DM and she might include it on her next podcast episode!

If you appreciate Dear Doula, please take a minute to subscribe, rate and review!

Time Stamps

01:52 - Brandi introduces today’s guest, Kim Korven, who tells us more about herself and her work in helping clients find a gentle way through divorce.

03:38 - Kim gives advice to people who may feel shame for walking away from something that they know is not working for them.

07:17 - Kim discusses how to prioritize the kids when emotions are running high during a divorce.

08:58 - Brandi asks what to do if one person is not willing to be amicable.

11:36 - We find out what often leads people astray from the idea of putting the kids first.

15:59 - We learn what Kim recommends for being able to amicably share resources and the raising of children.

19:45 - Brandi asks Kim how couples can turn it round if emotional hurt is fueling disagreements during a divorce.

23:44 - Kim names some good resources for someone who's looking to be conscious about how they're going about divorce.

25:56 - We hear some words of wisdom for anyone who's going through divorce or thinking about it.

26:40 - Brandi shares how her own parents’ divorce created a lot of positive things for her in her life.

Podcast Description

As a board certified lactation consultant, I have seen just how disheartening it can be for new mothers facing breastfeeding challenges. I also know how much more difficult this is made by the amount of myths and misinformation floating around on this topic.

One of the most common hurdles I have seen in recent times is low milk supply, which can lead to concerns about providing enough nutrition for your little ones. In this episode, we will explore some common reasons women struggle with milk supply, and offer practical tips and strategies to help overcome these issues and boost milk supply.

References

War on Want was the first organization to draw attention to the damage caused by baby milk companies like Nestlé with its groundbreaking 1974 publication The Baby Killer.

View Mrs Patel’s lactation treats and teas at www.mrsmilk.com

Swehl Latch Kit

If you are struggling with breastfeeding, The Cradle Company offers an array of services for breastfeeding mothers, with lactation consultants that can help you virtually or in person. Go to www.thecradlecompany.com or follow us on Instagram or on Facebook.

If you have further questions about this topic, you can follow Brandi and her work @deardoulapodcast on IG, @brandi_jordan_official IG, and send questions, comments and platitudes to brandi@deardoulapodcast.com. Have a question you want Brandi to answer? Shoot her an email or a DM and she might include it on her next podcast episode!

If you appreciate Dear Doula, please take a minute to subscribe, rate and review!

Time Stamps

01:27 - Brandi shares the shocking experience that led her to become a board certified lactation consultant.

04:47 - We get an overview into why a lot of people are struggling with milk supply.

05:37 - We learn how having an induction can affect milk supply.

08:00 - We find out how people who have had assisted pregnancies can be at a higher risk for developing milk supply issues.

09:25 - Brandi gives some advice for people who are having issues with milk supply, including pumping and galactagogues.

18:19 - We discover how issues with the actual anatomy of the breast can also cause problems with milk supply.

Podcast Description

Unrealistic expectations can often overshadow the immense achievements of working parents. Working moms in particular can get so wrapped up in all the fires they have to put out, that they end up at the very bottom of their to-do list. In my work, I’ve seen first hand how that can lead to feelings of resentment, overwhelm, and failure.

Today’s special guest Lindsay Dreyer was an overwhelmed business owner not so long ago, suffering from poor physical and mental health, and drowning in intense guilt that she wasn’t spending more time with her baby.

She joins me today to discuss how she managed to turn this around to make space to enjoy her success, her family, and rediscover what she loves. Lindsay’s practical insights on navigating this fulfilling yet challenging path will empower you if you’re struggling to strike the right balance.

Connect with Lindsay:

Follow her on Instagram

Visit her Website

If you need more support for this or if you have questions about this topic, you can follow Brandi and her work @deardoulapodcast on IG, @brandi_jordan_official IG, and send questions, comments and platitudes to brandi@deardoulapodcast.com. Have a question you want Brandi to answer? Shoot her an email or a DM and she might include it on her next podcast episode!

If you appreciate Dear Doula, please take a minute to subscribe, rate and review!

Time Stamps

01:21 - Lindsay tells us more about who she is and what she does.

02:44 - Lindsay explains what her clients struggle with most and how she helps them.

05:15 - Brandi and Lindsay discuss why “work/life balance” is a myth.

08:33 - We find out the importance of putting yourself first and modeling that to your kids.

12:43 - Brand and Lindsay discuss how society is pitting working moms against stay-at-home moms.

16:28 - We hear two important things mompreneurs should keep in mind when building or scaling a business.

23:48 - We find out the perks of being an entrepreneur and a parent.

24:46 - Lindsay gives advice to those craving more flexibility about how to take the leap into entrepreneurship.

As new parents or parents-to-be, we can spend hours going down rabbit holes trying to find the best information to support our birthing and parenting decisions. In a lot of instances, the articles people see online talking about controversial issues are heavily slanted towards the author’s own views and not necessarily backed by evidence.

While most of what I talk about is related to what I’ve seen in the trenches working with families over the past 20 years, I am a strong believer in passing evidence-based information to parents to inform decisions. 

My special guest today, Dr. Rebecca Dekker, became fed up with how the system treats birthing families. She is now working hard to take the stress out of research and make science sexy for parents and birth workers alike! She is the founder of Evidence Based Birth®, and has made it her mission to ensure all birthing families have access to safe, respectful, evidence-based, and empowering care. 

Join our conversation now to hear her evidence-based insights into two controversial birthing topics.

Resources

Read the Evidence Based Birth® article on circumcision here

Read more on the evidence around waterbirth here

Watch the College Humor video on the history of circumcision

Listen to the Evidence Based Birth® Podcast

Follow @ebbirth on Insta

Go to the Evidence Based Birth® Youtube Channel

If you need more support for this or if you have questions about this topic, you can follow Brandi and her work @deardoulapodcast on IG, @brandi_jordan_official IG, and send questions, comments and platitudes to brandi@deardoulapodcast.com. Have a question you want Brandi to answer? Shoot her an email or a DM and she might include it on her next podcast episode!

If you appreciate Dear Doula, please take a minute to subscribe, rate and review!

Time Stamps

01:22 - Dr. Rebecca Dekker tells us more about Evidence Based Birth® and the work that they do.

02:47 - Brandi tells us about her own experience of circumcision with her now 16 year old son.

03:58 - Dr. Dekker discusses her background and how she approached the evidence-based work she has produced around circumcision.

06:02 - Dr. Dekker shares how she was personally confronted with the topic of circumcision and how this put the procedure into perspective for her.

07:59 - Dr. Dekker discusses the ethical considerations around circumcision.

11:46 - We find out what the evidence shows with regard to circumcision.

16:30 - Brandi and Dr.Dekker speak about the regret parents can feel around their decision to circumcise their children.

23:06 - We learn about the historical context of circumcision.

26:25 - Dr. Dekker talks through evidence-based information surrounding waterbirths.

Are you a parent who's gearing up to start the potty training journey with your child? Potty training is a significant milestone in a child's development and can be an exciting yet challenging time for both parents and children. 

Parents often feel the pressure to meet societal expectations when it comes to potty training. Whether it's comparing your child's progress to that of other children, feeling judged by other parents or family members, or facing cultural expectations, it's important to manage these societal pressures.

As with any new stage in parenting, being prepared and equipped with the right information to make the process as smooth and stress-free as possible is key. In this episode, I’ll be guiding you through the tips and tricks that will help you navigate this important transition with confidence.

If you need more support for this or if you have questions about potty training, you can follow Brandi and her work @deardoulapodcast on IG, @brandi_jordan_official IG, and send questions, comments, and platitudes to brandi@deardoulapodcast.com. Have a question you want Brandi to answer? Shoot her an email or a DM and she might include it on her next podcast episode!

Brandi does do potty training consultations, so feel free to email and check that out if you're interested!

If you appreciate Dear Doula, please take a minute to subscribe, rate and review!

Time Stamps

00:57 - Brandi introduces this week’s topic of potty training and one of the main issues that causes us problems.

01:42 - We hear Brandi’s experience of potty training her now 16 year old son.

02:47 - We learn about the role of culture defining when a child is potty trained.

05:54 - Brandi talks about the importance of exposure and why the Western world often gets this wrong.

08:43 - We find out why we need to consider the language we use on this topic with our kids.

10:41 - We discover how diaper free time can play a part in successful potty training.

13:16 - We learn what to avoid when working with children when it comes to potty training.

14:35 - Brandi addresses the idea of ‘bootcamp’ style potty training methods.

The lights go out after another busy day of parenting but for many, the dread of bedtime with a toddler begins…

Whilst battling with any of these sleep problems can feel extremely isolating, I can tell you after working with infant and toddler sleep for 20 years, most of the issues parents experience are incredibly similar. 

Toddler sleep challenges often come in the form of struggling to go down at night, waking during the night and wanting to come into your room, or waking at an ungodly hour in the morning. You may even have a combination of these if you’re really lucky. 

If you’re facing any of these issues, you’re certainly in good company, but that does not mean it has to become your new normal. In this episode, I’m breaking down the root causes of some of the most common toddler sleep problems and giving you the strategies you need to resolve them. 

Resources:

A lot of the concepts I talked about in my recent episode ‘Establishing Good sleep Habits: Newborn to 3 Months’ are essentially the foundations for building toddler sleep.

See my recent episode on gentle parenting: Raising Intrinsically Motivated Children with Megan Cordaro

Discover more about nasal hygiene in babies and young children

You can follow Brandi and her work @deardouapodcast on IG, @brandi_jordan_official IG, and send questions, comments and platitudes to brandi@deardoulapodcast.com. Have a question on sleep you want Brandi to answer? Shoot her an email or a DM and she might include it on her next podcast episode!

If you are looking for support with your own child’s sleep, you can reach out to us at The Cradle Company for more information on hiring a pediatric sleep consultant.

If you appreciate Dear Doula, please take a minute to subscribe, rate and review!

Time Stamps

01:34 - We find out the 3 main issues Brandi has noticed in her 20 years of working with infant and toddler sleep.

02:31 - We learn the role of limit setting when it comes to toddler sleep.

03:37 - Brandi discusses strategies to help your toddler go down more easily at night.

08:18 - We hear Brandi’s recommendations for optimal times to put toddlers to bed.

11:20 - We learn when the ideal times are for toddler nap transitions. 

14:17 - Brandi talks about overcoming the issue of night wakings and coming into your room.

18:13 - We find out what to do if early rising is an issue with your toddler.