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Consensual Non-consent, Negotiation, and the Classics with Tina Horn30 Nov 202300:54:54

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Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
Effy Blue @coacheffyblue
Jacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla

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#polyproblems with Effy Blue and Jacqueline Misla23 Nov 202301:00:42

What are some of the most common pitfalls when couples are opening up? Which conversations are essential when discussion non monoamy? What are some of the common myths when it comes to open relationships? And what about jealousy? 

Open relationships have a unique set of challenges and it’s often hard to know how to resolve them as open relationships have no specific roadmap. In this revisited episode, Effy and Jacqueline explore some of the common #PolyProblems that people face and share insights, tips, and personal stories for how folks have navigated through those challenges. 

Listen in as they explore common misconceptions that we have to unlearn in order to successfully practice non-monogamy for the long-term, as well as answers to some of the most asked questions.

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Tolerating Disconnection in Relationships20 Sep 202300:55:09

What exactly is connection, and what happens when we encounter disconnection in our relationships? Is there any value in temporary disconnection? How can we improve our tolerance to disconnection?

In this week's episode, Effy and Jacqueline delve deep into the intricate dynamics of connection and disconnection within relationships. Effy and Jacqueline unravel the multifaceted aspects of disconnection, shedding light on its causes and manifestations. They candidly explore the potential benefits that can arise from moments of disconnection, challenging the assumption that it's always detrimental and offer strategies and practical tools to enhance emotional resilience in the face of it.

3 Tips to Combat Loneliness While Your Partner is Out
30 Date Night Ideas That Will Transform Your Relationship(s)
Etsy - Roots & Wings

Be a part of our Halloween episode!
Listen to Episode 89: Haunted House of Relationships Fears, and then pick a fear that you have when it comes to love, sex or relationships and see if you can design your own scary haunted house room. Once you are done, get out your voice memo app on your phone and tell us all about it by sending it to listening@wearecuriousfoxes.com. 

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Love, Sex and Relationships During the Apocalypse17 Sep 202100:42:33

When the world feels like it’s tearing itself apart, how can we keep our relationships together? When the news feels terrifying, how do we revel in the erotic safely? When meeting new people feels like a health risk, how can we nurture new connections? 

Effy and Jacqueline return from their Summer hiatus and kick off our Fall programming by talking about the impact of global current affairs, the hyper-fast news cycle of apocalyptic headlines, and the still restrictive new normal on our nervous system and consequently our relationships and sex lives.

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Metamours LIVE (Revisited)06 Aug 202101:06:53

What is it like to love the same person? What kind of relationship is available for those who share a partner? Do you have to know your lover's lover?

Effy and Jackie revisit an old episode where a panel of poly folks discusses their experiences connecting with their lovers' lovers.

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Play Party Etiquette02 Aug 202101:05:11

From ancient civilizations to modern times, why have people been going to play parties? Are they only all about hedonistic indulgences? What happens at a play party?

Effy and Jacqueline talk about their first experience at sex parties, why they go and what they have learned from their experiences, and how to throw your own party while discussing Effy’s book Play Party Etiquette.

You can get the book from playpartyetiquette.com.

You can find Polysecure on our website at wearecuriousfoxes.com/readinglist

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Attachment Styles, Trauma and Non-Monogamy with Jessica Fern (Interview)25 Jul 202101:04:52

Do you think that there is a correlation between attachment style and one's propensity towards non-monogamy? How are our sex lives affected by our attachment styles?  How those in a non-monogamous relationship can work towards secure attachment?

Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Jessica Fern, a psychotherapist, public speaker, and trauma and relationship expert, and the author of Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy to discuss attachment styles and trauma and how they impact our relationship structures and sexuality.

You can find Jessica Fern via her website: jessicafern.com. On there, you can access her webinars and join her newsletter so that you get updates about her work and a notification of when her practice opens up to new clients.  

You can find Polysecure on our website at wearecuriousfoxes.com/readinglist

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Roots and Wings and The Beanstalk17 Jul 202101:01:36

Why is it that when we feel comfy and settled, we suddenly long for passion and freedom? And conversely, why do a string of spontaneous adventures have us longing for stability? Is it possible for us to be both planted and to fly?

Effy and Jacqueline discuss how to balance the comfort of being rooted and settled with the desire for variety and passion but not before they catch up on crushes, books, family, and city life vs country.

You can find the Fuel Gauge Activity worksheet mentioned in this episode here:
https://craftyourpath.org/cyp-worksheets/day-1

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Asexuality with Angela Chen (Interview)12 Jul 202100:54:42

Why do some asexual folks have sex? In a hypersexualized society, what is it like to be asexual? Can asexuality be an important factor for female sexual liberation? 

Effy and Jacqueline are joined by journalist, editor, and the author of Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex, Angela Chen to talk about the asexuality spectrum,  its role in identity politics, and why her book is important all sexual orientations to understand the role of sexuality in society. 

To learn more about Angela Chen, follow her on Twitter @chengela, on Instagram at @angelaetcetera, or via her website: angelachen.org.

You can find her book along with other recommended reads at wearecuriousfoxes.com/readinglist

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Shocking. Funny. Inspirational. You Have Questions, We Have Answers.02 Jul 202100:05:32

We are planning a listeners' questions episode in the coming weeks. We'd LOVE to hear from you.

You can submit your questions in three ways: 

Note that if you submit your question by audio, we’ll likely include it in the episode. If for some reason you don’t want us to, then make sure you start your message with DON’T INCLUDE MY VOICE. 

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Complex Families and the Return of the Soap Box with Leigh Montavon (Interview)26 Jun 202100:57:14

How do you imagine a family that you have never seen before? How do you make it work? What is the difference between complexity and drama? 

Effy and Jacquline are joined by Queers Next Door's Leigh Montavon to talk about managing the complexities of a family by design, bringing up children in a non-traditional family, and what it takes to make it all work. Effy takes her turn on the Soap Box to officially renounce ethical non-monogamy for good. 

To learn more about Leigh, follow her on social media @sexcoachleigh, on her website at sexcoachleigh.com, and check out her handmade zine about sex, self-care, & relationships at queerlovezine.smvi.co. You can also tune into her podcast - Queers Next Door - wherever you listen to podcasts and find them on IG at @queersnextdoor.

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Your Stories Please21 Jun 202100:01:17

The Curious Fox team has intentions of doing a new series we're calling Fox Tales, where we share stories of curiosity, struggle, and thriving. 

We would love to hear from folks who are willing to share their stories. Specifically, 

  • if you are dating a sex worker
  • if you have a working relationship with a sex worker
  • if you've come out later in life
  • if you want to explore and talk about your race and ethnicity as a relates to consensual nonmonogamy
  • if you're in a triad or a thruple, with all parties in the relationship being with each other; 

We want to hear from you!

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Queer Dating with Ariella Serur (Interview)18 Jun 202100:56:05

Is there a difference between queer dating and mono-normative dating? What are the main concerns and common strategies? What is one thing that we can all do to be braver in our dating lives?

Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Queer Dating Coach Ariella Serur to talk about how to approach dating intentionally, navigate queer space when dating and remain connected to "feelings-based standards."
 
To learn more about Ariella, follow her on social media @queerdatingcoach, or on her website: queerdatingcoach.com

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Age, Affinity and Dating with Ashton Applewhite (Interview)13 Sep 202300:37:54

What impact does a significant age gap between partners have on relationships? Are there common misconceptions surrounding women dating considerably younger men? Does age alone determine affinity, and should we limit ourselves to dating within our age group

In this episode, Effy engages in a candid conversation with author and ageism activist, Ashton Applewhite. Together, they explore the profound effects of ageism on our perceptions of larger age gaps in relationships. Effy shares her personal experience of dating a younger man, prompting reflection on whether conflicts arise due to the age gap itself or if it's merely attributed to the age gap due to the ageist narrative prevalent in our society.

To find out more about Ashton Applewhite
An internationally recognized expert on ageism, Ashton Applewhite is the author of This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism. A co-founder of the Old School Anti-Ageism Clearinghouse, she speaks widely at venues that have included the TED mainstage and the United Nations, and is at the forefront of the emerging movement to raise awareness of ageism and to dismantle it. In 2022 the UN+WHO named Ashton one of the Healthy Aging 50: fifty leaders transforming the world to be a better place to grow older.

Twitter: thischairrocks
Facebook: ThisChairRocks
Instagram: thischairrocks
YouTube: AshtonApplewhiteVideos
LinkedIn: ashton-applewhite-64658
Websites: thischairrocks.com 
yoisthisageist.com 
oldschool.info

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Bisexuality is Real11 Jun 202100:54:09

How prevalent is bisexuality? What is it like to be attracted to all genders? Why don't see more representation of bisexual folks?

Effy and Jacqueline continue to celebrate Pride month by talking about bisexuality, bi-visibility, and the erasure of bisexual identity. They bust some myths and share some action points for how to be inclusive, not intrusive.

If you like the song at the top of the show, follow @sillymissallison on TikTok

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Pride March, Late to Lesbian, and To Queer or Not to Queer04 Jun 202100:54:53

What happens when you discover your sexual orientation later in life? What does it mean to be queer? Is Pride still relevant? 

Effy and Jacqueline celebrate Pride month by exploring experiences of coming out later in life, discuss what it means to be queer and how they each identify when it comes to their sexual orientation. 

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Codependency, Non-monogamy, the Octopus and the Turtle28 May 202100:49:35

Are we overuse words like codependency, trigger...etc? What does codependency look like and how can you move towards interdependency in your relationships? 

Effy and Jacqueline start a conversation about codependency and discuss how it may show up as you explore non-monogamy. They discuss the difference between attachment styles and codependency and talk through what it means to be dependent.

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Relationship Transitions Live (Revisited)21 May 202100:57:56

People change. Relationships change. How can you navigate through those changes in a way that honors everyone involved? How can you and your partner(s) create an environment that supports evolution and growth? From monogamous to open, a couple to a triad, a partner to solo poly, to conscious uncoupling - what can you learn from other people’s experiences around transition?

Effy and Jacqueline revisit the first-ever Curious Fox episode to explore relationship transitions through the experiences of a brave and diverse set of panelists.

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Moms, Money, and Meet Ups14 May 202100:53:24

Why is money so hard to talk about? How do finances impact non-traditional relationships? What are some of the creative ways to approach finances that reflects your relationships design? 

Effy and Jacqueline delve into the tough topic of money and money conversations within relationships.  They share how they have set up their finanes and give suggestions on different ways of thinking about money and easing into regular money dates. 

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Emotionally Focused Couple's Therapy with Dr. Thomas Whitfield (Interview)07 May 202101:00:04

What would it take to have shorter arguments? Can relationship bliss be as easy as being able to name your emotions? Why do we have to work so hard for our relationships?

Effy and Jackie are joined by Dr. Thomas Whitfield to understand more about Emotionally Focused Therapy and how it can help folks relate better, shorten arguments and provide insight into ourselves and each other.

To learn more about Thomas, follow him on social media @twhitfieldphd, visit his website: madisonparkpsych.com/thomas-whitfield-phd, and check out The Obsessables, wherever you listen to podcasts.

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What's Age Got To Do With It with Ashton Applewhite (Interview)30 Apr 202100:52:31

Do we stay in relationships longer in our older age because we think we won't find a new partner later on in life? What would online dating look like if age wasn't a part of the profile? When we "eeeew" older people having sex, do we realize we are "eeewing" our future selves?

Effy and Jacqueline are joined by author, speaker, and ageism activist Ashton Applewhite to discuss the intersection of age, ageism, relationships, and sex. Effy and Jackie have also come to realize that they'll never be too old to giggle at the fact that this is the 69th episode. 

To find out more about Ashton and her work, follow @ThisChairRocks on IG and FB and on her website ThisChairRocks.com.

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Relationship Anarchy (LIVE) (Revisited)23 Apr 202100:59:25

What is Relationships Anarchy? Can it be a sustaining and nurturing relationship structure that one can thrive in? Is there anything we can learn from this niche structure? 

Effy and Jacqueline revisit the most popular CF episode of all time where a panel of relationship anarchists share their stories and talk about their approach to relationships. 

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Butt-Plugs and Pick Up Lines, And F**k Your Definition of Joy16 Apr 202100:48:30

Do you need a break from the heaviness of our last few episodes? Do you want to skip your next zoom meeting and talk about butt plugs and pickup lines instead? Do you need a new outlet to get some joy because the status quo isn’t cutting it?

Effy and Jacqueline stick to their word and in this light hearted episode explore butt plugs and talk about pick up lines on online dating platforms. They round off the episode by redefining joy. 

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Easter Special: Sex in the Bible with De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson (Interview)09 Apr 202100:41:45

Can your faith in the bible support your sexual expression? Is there scripture that encourages sexual exploration? Are we all going to hell because we like to give and get head?

On this Easter special, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson as they embark on an Easter egg hunt to find passages and scriptures in the Bible that talk about sex not as a literally device for high drama or a word of warning but as beautiful, sensual expression and connection for the pleasure of it (marriage not required).

To find more about De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson follow her on Instagram @sankofasex and check out her website sankofasextherapy.com.

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Forks in the Road, Greener Grasses, and Subscribing to the Sucky06 Sep 202301:11:09

How often have you second-guessed a decision, wondering if the other option would have spared you the heartache? How do we navigate life's dilemmas when every path seems to have its own set of thorns? Can we ever truly escape the consequences of our choices, or is it about finding peace in the decisions we make?

Effy and Jacqueline return from their break, diving deep into the often overlooked aspect of decision-making: the inevitable challenges that accompany every choice. They candidly share the less glamorous sides of their own decisions and offer insights on how to weigh your options more holistically…and accept that things may simply suck either way.

Be a part of our Halloween episode!
Listen to Episode 89: Haunted House of Relationships Fears, and then pick a fear that you have when it comes to love, sex or relationships and see if you can design your own scary haunted house room. Once you are done, get out your voice memo app on your phone and tell us all about it by sending it to listening@wearecuriousfoxes.com. 

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Unpacking Infidelity, the Other Side (Part 2)02 Apr 202100:51:29

Why do people cheat? Are the people who cheat always the villan of the story? Can you break your relationship patterns? 

Effy and Jacqueline continue their exploration into infidelity through their own stories. In the final episode of the infidelity trilogy Effy tells her story of cheating. She explains why she cheated, what impact it had on her relationships and what she's done to break her patterns. 

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Compersion and Jealousy (LIVE) (Revisited)20 Mar 202101:03:27

Can jealousy be a revered teacher? Can you feel joy about your partner connecting with someone else? What does it take to cultivate sympathetic joy?  

Effy and Jacqueline revisit a classic episode about jealousy and compersion from the days where we recorded live panel discussion from the Curious Fox Socials. They are joined by Clara, Eric and Ltee who share their stories, thoughts and wisdom from years of practicing non-monogamy.

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Unpacking Infidelity, Surviving the Earthquake (Part 1 / Take 2)14 Mar 202100:40:01

What does your relationship look like after a betrayal? What happens when you explore the depths of your experience of infidelity? What does it take to the authentically bare your soul?  

In part 2 of our, now 3-part episode on infidelity, Effy and Jacqueline take a deeper dive into Jacqueline's story of surviving what feels like an earthquake when she discovered her wife was having an affair despite being in an open relationship.

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Stop the Press! A Message from Effy and Jacqueline06 Mar 202100:03:12

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Unpacking Infidelity, Consensual Non-monogamy After an Affair, and a Simple Request (Part 1)27 Feb 202100:28:15

Is an affair the end of the road? Can a monogamous relationship transition into an open structure after a transgression is uncovered? What kind of a relationship can you expect if "the other" person is now your metamour? 

In this two-part episode, Effy and Jackie tell two stories of infidelity. One from the point of view of the cheater and the other cheated on. Both as painful as insightful, these stories attempt to unpack the multifaceted dynamics of affairs and explore what's available in the aftermath.

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What About the Children with Dr. Eli Sheff (Interview)19 Feb 202101:07:08

What about the children??? Can children thrive in a polyamorous family? What are the downsides to raising children with an open construct? 

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline speak to Dr. Eli Sheff, doctor of Sociology, the author of “The Polyamorists Next Door” and “When Someone You Love is Polyamorous”, and more. They discuss Dr. Sheff's book “Children in Polyamorous Families: Research Findings in Brief", which highlights her findings from her decade’s long research on polyamorous families. 

To find out more about Dr. Eli Sheff on her website and on Facebook and Twitter

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Sh*ting all over Valentines' Day, History of Everything and The Soap Box13 Feb 202100:43:13

Valentines' Day sweeps the nation this weekend. Are you smothering your loved one in love hearts and chocolates or are you denouncing it all together?   

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline dig into the history of Valentines' Day, discuss alternative ways to celebrate and get on their Soap Box about Instagram. 

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Somatic Approach to Boundary Setting with Seza Aslanbas (Interview)05 Feb 202101:23:36

How do know where your boundaries are -- especially faced with new experiences?  Can our body give us clearer direction than our mind when it comes to knowing what feels good and what doesn't? Often considered to be an intellectual exercise, boundary setting is a key skill for life -- yet one most of us struggle with.

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Seza Aslanbas, a yoga and meditation teacher and a conscious living coach to discuss a somatic approach to figuring out what our boundaries are.

Seza has developed a guided meditation to hone in on the body-mind connection that you can practice to remain attuned to your boundaries. You can find a special recording of this meditation on our Patreon.

To find out more about Seza Aslabas, you can go to her website sezaaslanbas.com  and follow on Instagram @seza.aslanbas

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Masturbation as self-love and sex nest update with Stella Harris (Interview) (Revisited)29 Jan 202100:56:56

HAPPY SELF-LOVE MONTH!

Riddled with shame, secrecy, and stigma, can masturbation be reclaimed as a self-care and self-love experience? Too often a utilitarian act for relaxation or release, masturbation wields the power to connect us with ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

In celebration of Self-love Month, we are reposting this interview with Stella Harris where Effy, Jackie and Stella talk about all of the ways in which we can indulge ourselves through self-touch and exploration – from laying in the sun, to massaging oil on our body, to sexual touch.

We also included some updates on Jackie's sex next and Effy's controversial thoughts on self-love as a concept.

To learn more about Stella Harris visit www.stellaharris.net or follow @stellaerotica on Twitter or @stellaharriserotica on Instagram. She is offering coaching and classes online, use promo code STAYHOME for 20% coaching!

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I'm not ok! and Curiouser and Curiouser: Listener's Questions22 Jan 202100:59:44

What are YOU curious about? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline answer listener questions.

How should you prepare yourself and your children when families begin to blend? Is polyamory different for demi and asexuals? How do you manage the jealousy and hurt when opening up? Should you wait to find your career or get financially stable before starting a relationship? What if you want poly and they won't open? 

Effy and Jacqueline dive into these questions while sharing some personal stories and reflections of their own. 

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The Self, Parts and the Highway of Life19 Jul 202301:00:34

Why do we react in ways that seem counterproductive or self-defeating? Are our minds made up of distinct "parts" that influence our behavior? How can we understand and integrate these internal parts to create personal growth and harmony?

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline explore “parts work” and share their personal therapeutic journeys understanding, regulating, and befriending their parts. They discuss the benefits of developing "parts" from past experiences to help us navigate and respond to the world around us, and the consequences of using the outdated strategies of our parts to address current relationship fears. 

Referenced in the episode:
Episode 115: Integrity, the Rider and the Elephant
Book: The Body Keeps Score

Be a part of our Halloween episode!
Listen to Episode 89: Haunted House of Relationships Fears, and then pick a fear that you have when it comes to love, sex or relationships and see if you can design your own scary haunted house room. Once you are done, get out your voice memo app on your phone and tell us all about it by sending it to listening@wearecuriousfoxes.com

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Types of Human Bonding and Dating Apps with Dr Eli Sheff (Interview)16 Jan 202100:58:02

You know your love language, do you know your bonding style?

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline speak to Dr. Eli Sheff, doctor of Sociology, the author of “The Polyamorists Next Door” and “When Someone You Love is Polyamorous”, and more. They discuss Dr. Sheff's most recent collaboration, The Bonding Project. This quiz "helps people identify their bonding preferences and connect with partners with compatible bonding styles." Effy, Jacqueline, and Dr. Sheff take a deep-dive into the way humans connect to one another challenging the notion of human pair bonding.

To find out more about Dr. Eli Sheff on her website and more about the quiz at bondingproject.com

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An Anticlimax, Reflections and Trying Something New08 Jan 202100:55:22

How can we approach newness in love, sex, and relationships in the new year? How can we reflect on the year gone and embrace change? 

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline look back to the year gone and reflect on what they'd like to avoid, preserve, and create going forward. They also discuss how they will personally challenge the status quo in the way they love, approach sex, and relate to others in 2021.

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Fox Tales: A Holiday Family Story with Ryan DiMartino (Part 2) (Interview)01 Jan 202100:33:26

As the new year rolls in, can we renew and expand our ideas of love, parenthood, and family? Can we rethink how we approach pregnant people and the assumptions we carry around about motherhood? 

On this New Year episode, Effy and Jacqueline continue to talk to Ryan DiMartino who kindly shares the story of their family. In this second part of a two-part story for the family like no other, we hear the final twist of this riveting and inspiring story.

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Fox Tales: A Holiday Family Story with Ryan DiMartino (Part 1) (Interview)25 Dec 202000:38:16

On a day where we often think about family the most, can we think about family differently? Can we untangle pregnancy from motherhood; motherhood from womanhood and blood from family? 

On this Holiday episode, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Ryan DiMartino who kindly shares the story of their family. In this two-part story for the family like no other, we hope to warm your heart and challenge your ideas of love, parenthood, family, and more all at the same time.


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Curiouser and Curiouser: Listeners' Questions19 Dec 202000:48:38

What happens when you break up with one partner to focus on the other and remain in each others' social circles? How do you know you are ready to date? Can you ignore hypocrisy in a partner? 

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline answer questions submitted by our Foxy listeners.

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Fabulous 50, Falling in Love with Potential, and Picking your Pain11 Dec 202000:53:41

If new relationship energy (NRE) can be intoxicating, how do we avoid falling in love with the potential of a person or the possibilty of a relationship? How do we separate the noble intention to grow together from the incidious wish that our partner will change?

In this episode, Effy and Jackie celebrate the 50th episode, discuss why love distorts our view of the other person, and seemingly diminishes otherwise important factors into just-this-one-thing. 

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Boredom, Sex as a Hobby and The Soap Box04 Dec 202001:01:51

Could there be a miracle hobby that can help us stay connected to others, be creative, be physically active, and put us in a better mood? Effy and Jacqueline consider turning sex into a hobby, and explore ways to build sexual experience, become more sexually creative, and practice new sexual skills alone or with a partner(s). Looking for something to do in the comfort of your air conditioning? Sex may be the hobby you've been looking for.

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Tea & Jam, The Holiday Cluster F**k and Black Friday27 Nov 202000:44:13

When society and cultures pack so much meaning to certain times of the year, what does it look like for those who have multiple relationships? When a simple premise of "spending the holidays with loved ones" seems not so simple, how do avoid putting your relationship(s) on trial?

In this episode, Effy and Jackie talk about ways to navigate holidays when you are managing multiple relationships in your life. They share tips on how to schedule, have conversations, and make sure everyone feels loved and cared for. And how to make amends if it all ends up in a cluster f**k.

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From the Mouth of Babes, Sex-Positive Parenting and Slime20 Nov 202001:13:17

Amidst culture wars, identity politics, and the evolution of relationships as we know it, what does it take to bring up children who understand differences while remaining true to themselves? 

In this very special episode, Effy and Jacqueline chat with Jackie's 9-year-old daughter about what it's like to be a part of an open family as well as discuss sex-positive parenting, tips for anyone who's around children, and the joys of slime.

For the best slime around go to
www.slimessquareslime.com
Use promo code CURIOUSFOX for 20% off AND Curious Fox special slime in your mystery box.
Follow Slimes Square Slime on
TikTok: @officialslimesquareslime
IG: @slimessquareslime

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Glass Ceilings, Friends with Benefits, and The Soapbox13 Nov 202000:54:01

Can friends with benefits arrangement really work? What does it take to maintain a friendship with people you have sex with?  

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline explore if friends with benefits are a good option given the struggles around meeting new people during COVID and discuss best practices when approaching such topics with existing friends. 

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Navigating Mismatched Kinks with Partners: Finding Common Playgrounds with Miss Shayla (Interview)12 Jul 202300:55:51

We are curious: How can we explore mismatched kinks with our partners? How do we find common ground and understand where the resistance is without creating pressure or being coercive? And what can be done if there's no common ground?

In this episode, Effy enlists the expertise of a seasoned pro Dom, kink educator and a longtime foxy friend of the show Miss Shayla. Together, they embark on a candid conversation, delving into the intricacies of navigating mismatched kinks with partners. Effy and Miss Shayla offer valuable insights and strategies for approaching partners about kinky desires with respect, sensitivity, and consent. They unpack the complexities of finding common ground and explore alternatives when a shared playground for partners seems elusive.

Links mentioned in the episode
12 Step program fear inventory and resentment inventory
Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation Workbook

To learn more about Miss Shayla
Mistress Shayla Lange is an NYC based Pro-Domme, co-creator of the kinky educational series “7Days of Domination”, and owner of New York’s largest female-owned Dungeon

Instagram: @YesMissShayla
Website: 7DaysofDomination.com

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Anxiety, Attachment Systems, and Finding Joy06 Nov 202000:59:56

Given the current state of affairs, how do we manage anxiety so it doesn't trigger our attachment struggles?

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline talk about how our anxieties about the election, COVID, and subsequent worries can trigger our attachment systems and impact our relationships; how we can cultivate a sense of safety, self, an joy so we can show up for our relationships and our partners. 

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Halloween, Relationship Changes, and the Soap Box30 Oct 202001:03:14

If change is the only constant, how can we be prepared for it in our relationships and in our lives? 

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline talk about all the ways change can be experienced, managed and felt that aligns with our thriving state; frameworks to think about change, and what gets in the way of smooth transitions. This episode also sees the inauguration of a new segment we are calling The Soap Box where Effy and Jackie have a bit of a rant about topics that make them mad.

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Caretaking Dynamics and the Erotic Space in Relationships23 Oct 202001:03:14

Can a caretaking dynamic and the erotic exist in the same place within a relationship? How can you be caring without slipping into co-dependency? 

In this episode, Effy Blue and Jacqueline Misla talk about how leaning into caretaking in relationships can erode both a sense of self and eroticism within relationships and what people can do to disrupt old patterns. 

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