Courage and Spice for Coaches: build your Self-belief and Business in under 30mins a week – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Something a little different for you today!

This is the farewell episode of the Three OG Coaches Talking Shop podcast that I have co-hosted with Lianne + Bridgette. 

21 episodes ago, we began with a conversation called The Rise of the Coachfluencer - where lifestyle content, product placement, and aspirational horseshit were masquerading as coaching. In this episode, we address the fall of so many characters from the coachfluencer pyramid.

As we see “gurus” being named in The Files, being sued, or hanging up their shingle, we chat about what this means for our work, our industry and for us as practitioners. Spoiler: it’s really bloody hopeful.

Resources:

Three OG Coaches Talking Shop (now hosted on Substack)

Brene Brown NYT interview

'Blowing The Whistle On Deepak Chopra, The Epstein Files, Cancel Culture, & Holding My Influencer Peers (& Myself) Accountable' by Dr Lissa Rankin

What does a political campaign have to do with your next launch? Quite a lot, actually! In this episode, I unpack the fantastic UK Green Party by-election campaign and what this teaches us coaches about launching successfully.

If you’re preparing to launch later this year (or quietly recovering from one that didn’t land the way you hoped), this is your reminder that you’re not just running a 10-day sales sprint: you’re building a campaign. The most successful launches are rooted in your values and a bigger future that your clients actually want. 

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Website: www.saspetherick.com | Instagram:  @saspetherick

This week I’m in conversation with one of my favourite humans, Stephanie McKinnon — certified life and liberatory leadership coach, community educator, and all-round balm for these late-stage capitalist times.

If you’ve ever wondered “Is it just me, or is this system WRONG?” this episode will feel like a long exhale. Steph brings a rare mix of grounded theory, lived experience, and big-hearted pragmatism. We explore what it means to navigate (and gently resist) capitalism as coaches, creatives, and humans who care about each other.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

• Why so many of the struggles we face (lonlieness, isolation, buying shit we don't need, feeling separate) aren’t personal failings, they’re by design
• How overwhelm, perfectionism, and the myth of the “hero individual” keep us isolated
• What community, care, and creativity offer as quiet (and powerful) forms of resistance
• Why art and beauty matter deeply in absurd times
• Practical, hopeful ways to influence change in your tiny corner of the world
• How reconnecting with your values, neighbours, and imagination can disrupt capitalist conditioning

Steph’s perspectives are spacious, compassionate, and deeply human. This is the conversation to listen to when you need reminding that you’re not alone, you’re not doing it wrong, and there are so many more liberating ways to live and work.

Links & Resources

• Find Steph on Instagram: @stephmilomack
• Steph's Website: https://www.stephaniemackinnon.com/
• Books mentioned:
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Adrienne maree brown, Emergent Strategy
  • Sarah Jaffe, Work Won’t Love You Back

Content note: this episode contains a discussion about dysfunctional relationships with alcohol that may be difficult for folks new to recovery.

Whenever I talk about my sobriety on Instagram I get a tonne of DM’s, so I’m overjoyed to have the wonderful Karen Johnston, champion of self-love, self-care and self-compassion, on the podcast today.

Karen Marie Johnston is an advocate of women who are sober or are in recovery.  She comes from a front-line social worker background who has run award-winning projects, and now, alongside social work, runs The Self Love Hub - an online community along with the most beautiful weekend retreats, (which is totally on my vision board to attend, but always seem to sell out).

So what’s this episode really about? 

• We get to the bottom of the reasons why some of us turn to drink to help us cope with life.
• Why in an increasing difficult world, it’s completely understandable that we choose to use alcohol to numb us out, or escape reality.
• How lockdown felt for as both in sobriety and how it effected people who drink excessively.
• How to spot the signs that becoming sober is right for you, or when you know it might be time to reduce your drinking.
• We ask the important question - are we avoiding our needs and emotions when we drink?

Why you should listen

Most of us aren’t taught how to navigate our feelings in a way that feels ok. We end up trying to avoid or dismiss them, some of us shop or scroll them away, some of us drink. This often creates a cycle of shame where the ways we cope with the underlying feelings, don't feel good.

But it's the reason why we turn to these shadow comforts that are worth our attention, curiosity and compassion. By finding safe spaces to talk about how we are actually doing, we can begin the process of feeling instead of numbing.

Most of us don't know who we will be on the other side of sobriety, or much-reduced drinking - understandably we feel apprehensive, fearful, even dismissive. It might not be something you have ever talked about with anyone but you can trust that soul-level recognition that wants to make a change.

We talk about how amazing sobriety is, that this shared path creates an incredible intimacy with others. 

Links:
Follow Karen on Instagram
The Self-Love Hub

You can quote me on that!
“Being able to feel the full spectrum of your emotions is being alive.” - Sas Petherick

“Our wound is not our fault, but our healing is our responsibility.” - Karen Marie Johnston

“I can access my intuition (now I’m sober), that feels incredible to me.” - Karen Marie Johnston.

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It was love at first sight with this weeks guest, the glorious Pippa Parfait. We met a dozen moons  ago at a posh party in London and we have been firm friends ever since. Pippa has had decades of experience before she retrained as a coach, leading big teams and sorting out big companies. This super resourceful lady now runs Disobedient Business, is a strategy whiz who totally gets systems and tech but is also a coach with a massive heart, who coaches businesses to run things their way. This chat will pretty much be like our co-working chats, we welcome you folks to be a fly on the wall!

So what's this episode really about?

• How comfortable we get with chaos as business owners and why we keep things in our own head.
• We both admit to bouts of toxic productivity and talk about leaning into looking after ourselves more, making time for rest and also being playful with our businesses.
• At what point in your business cycle you know that you are ready for help. (clue: it usually starts with a tech problem)
• How self-doubt comes up when there is too much complexity, when it feels too hard.
• How do I hire someone when I need to get over my perfectionism?
• How we find safety in over functioning.

Why you should listen
If you are the kind of person who has real crunchiness when it come to delegating in your business and to let those people you have delegated too, work in their zone of genius without micro-managing, this is the episode for you!

We also talk about how tech can let you down, you can have all your ducks in a row and things still don’t go to plan, but how we are able to let this go, it’s not the end of the world.

When you work with people rather than having people working for you and the joy that comes with that.

Links
Follow Pippa Parfait on Instagram
Work with Pippa

You can quote me on that!
“When we get really simple and clear about how we work with people, it becomes magnetising.” - Sas Petherick

“If we put all our ducks in a row, what happens then, how do we surrender to that?” - Pippa Parfait

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This episode is about, self-doubt, love, attachment theory and…burgers!

If you're sad at the prospect of being alone forever, terrified of settling for someone you don’t really like anymore, if you are convinced that there is only one true soul mate out there for you, if you are dating complete arses, or Insta stalking your ex, if you feel like the entire model of coupledom forever is just not for you, then grab a cuppa and listen in close, this episode is for you!

So what’s this episode really about? 

• The intersection of self-doubt in love, how many choices we have, why we want what we want and why we often don’t get what we want.
• Why we accept the love we think we deserve (quoting Charlie from The Perks of Being a Wallflower)
• How we show up in relationships and some ways you can reflect on this.
• The idea of love as we see it in our culture today.

Why you should listen
I take a look at attachment theory and self-doubt: how this can help us understand the beliefs and behaviours of how we connect with other people.

And you've got homework! Three questions to ask yourself about you and your relationship right now that can help you experiment with healthier ways of being in relationships. 

Links
Find your attachment style

Books I recommend:

• Insecure in Love by Leslie Becker-Phelps
• Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller
• Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson
• Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern

You can quote me on that…
“Love is hard, it’s one of the most emotionally complex things you will ever do. It’s a full house of psychological risk, so no wonder our self-doubt gets really twitchy.” - Sas Petherick.

“As soon as you raise your standards, as soon as you say I am worthy of being loved because I like myself enough to require that, you will never walk into a McDonalds and ask for a damn Whopper.” - Sas Petherick

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Dr Suzy Darke is a business coach like no other! I see her growing a quiet rebellion, inviting us to challenge the kinds of practices we all take for granted as business owners. Suzy is a coach, a mentor, a writer and she’s also a graduate of the Self-Belief Coaching Academy! Having spent six months in her company I’ve found her to be deeply empathic, she has an enormous heart, but she also has a really big impact. I’m sure you will really enjoy our conversation.

So what’s this episode really about?
Starting your own business is such a huge personal development journey, you don’t have to be louder, more extrovert, tougher. You are your own start line and you get to start from that space. Starting from a place of safety is so important.

• The push-pull between the ethics of marketing yourself with integrity and how does this fit with us as human beings.
• You don’t have to fit the mould of “girl boss” to get on in business and there’s never really a secret formula that works. You have to decide what is right for you.
• The steps you need to come back to your own heart and start to have some belief in yourself and your business.
• What you should stop doing - to make positive change in your life and business. (clue: this is all about comparison!)

Why you should listen:

Being more compassionate to yourself does not mean that you get less done. Trying not to judge ourselves for the mistakes we make, especially for the things we do not know yet. For some of us, self-compassion needs to be a daily practice!

Links:

Self Compassion by Kristin Neff

Google Project Aristotle

Follow Suzy on Instagram

Write better sales pages/Suzy Darke website

You can quote me on that!

“It’s not till we start showing ourselves compassion that we actually start to feel filled up.” - Sas Petherick.

“Never in my life have I been asked to show up as the true authentic me, never in the workplace where it’s about towing the line, at school it’s about being good, whatever that means! When do we get to be our whole selves?” - Suzy Darke.

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It’s my birthday week - I'm 48 - and I thought I’d share five big birthday thoughts for you.
 
This episode is a bit sweary so one for your earphones if you have little ones around.

So what's this episode really about?

• Life is RIDICULOUS - and we are constantly making this up.
• We are in this super interesting time of trying to identify ourselves - all of us yelling at each other: THIS IS ME. THIS IS NOT ME. 
• Each of us is a miracle – I take a deep dive into why this is, including the fact that the odds any of us exist at all is so infinitesimally small as to be miraculous.
• BECOMING looks different to all of us. And we can have many lives (for me this includes the life when I’m a mother of five living in Wales, a pagan lesbian living at Salmon Creek Farm in California, or a lonely violin playing heiress living in the Barbican!).
• Why I feel like we are living in the apocalypse. And all is well.

Why you should listen

It’s fun to step back and take an eagle-eyed view of life! This can also be super helpful for our self-doubt if it gets tangled up in the minutiae of daily life.

Links:

Alan Watts video
The odds of you existing at all.

You can quote me on that!

“Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.” – Alan Watts

“If you are resilient, let yourself fall apart. If you are controlling, practice surrender. If you are a perfectionist, be as imperfect as you can. If you are a dreamy unfinished-get something done. If you are locked in regret, forgive yourself. If you feel like you are constantly seeking the answer, practice tuning into your own intuitive responses. If you are super attached to your identities, play with alternative fantasy realities.” – Sas Petherick

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Hello folks if you aren’t following Keri Jarvis on Instagram then what are you even doing here?! Keri is an audacious feminist, a socialist, a speaker and leader of courses and business masterminds and a self belief coach. But more importantly, she a coach who is hear to answer, ‘who do you think you are?’

We have just spent the last six months together in the Self Belief Business Academy and Keri is infectious in the best way, I just know you are going to love our conversation!

So what is this episode really about?

• The feminist awakening that happens when you become a mother.
• How women that don’t become mothers embark on that feminist journey.
• Looking at 90’s music and Gen.X movies with a feminist lens and what comes up with that!
• Moving away from self care mode into community care and how helping others without being paid is a middle finger to capitalism.
• What to do with your anger now you're no longer a teenager.

Why you should listen:

When you care for your community and when you show up for others who have a more marginalised identity than you, but even if they don’t, its helps those people but it ultimately helps you too.

Links:

The Descent of Man - Grayson Perry

What White People Can Do Next: From Allyship to Coalition - Emma Dabiri

You can quote me on that!

“ The way that patriarchy, capitalism and white supremacy work is that it doesn’t work for men either.” - Sas Petherick

“ Taking time away from paid productivity to doing nice things for other people, is in itself a finger to capitalism.” Keri Jarvis

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Perfectionism is a protective belief that if you were perfect you will be safe. That's the bottom line. It can be any area of your life. It is also one of the most subtle and sophisticated forms of self-doubt. In this episode, we are going to talk about what perfectionism actually is in relation to self-doubt, but also a little bit about how this shows up for you, particularly in that protective self-doubt, the way we try to keep ourselves safe and hold ourselves back. I’m also going to talk about what it means to let go of perfectionism, kinda juicy don’t you think?

So what’s this episode really about? 

• What are these sneaky protective perfectionist beliefs and how do you know you have them? 
• How staying in possibility protects us from success. 
• The cycle feeds the self-doubt stories we tell ourselves. 
• How perfectionism shows up in four different forms of protection. 

Why you should listen
This episode is especially for those who identify with being a perfectionist, but it’s also for those of you who seem pretty ok with your perfectionist tendencies! And if you are a fellow practitioner – I invite you to noodle on what it means to you to be ‘a good coach’ and just see what pops up that might be related to perfectionism – about who you have to be, what you are not allowed to feel, what is required of you on social media, from clients, how much income you should be making, the qualifications and training you need.

Links
The four distinct types of Protector

You can quote me on that!

“Self-doubt is all or nothing. This or that. Always or never. No one or everyone. It's absolute.” - Sas Petherick.

"Perfectionism makes it impossible to appreciate what you have right now. Who you are right now. What you are capable of right now.” - Sas Petherick.

Like what you hear? 
Why not help me reach more ears (and give my self-belief a boost) with a 5-star rating?