Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Confidence

Can you have a healthy relationship with someone who originally ghosted you? In this episode, I break down why ghosting creates such a lack of safety that it fucks the relationship up, and why people ghost in the first place. I answer two listener situations, one about a girl who got ghosted after three dates and can't stop wondering why he didn't reach out, and another about a guy who might still have feelings for his ex. Let me help you feel your feelings and learn to how to honor yourself as you've never done before.

Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application

You can change, but really how much? In this episode, I share my vulnerable feelings about my current dating life, where I am, how I got here, and why I would describe myself as "serial monogamous without dating." I'll describe how I am doing the work to combat my avoidance, become more grounded, and set myself up for finding genuine love. I also unpack how much your upbringing impacts who you are and how to change the patterns that keep you stuck. It's real, it's funny, and it's personal.

Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application

When you treat a man well and you're consistent, they don't like you, but the ones you don't like are in love with you. What gives? This week, I break down dating's million-dollar question: Why are guys so interested in women who don't put in any effort? Is it attachment style or is it just how men are wired? I'll walk you through my full dissertation on the chase, value, and why we want what we can't have. I also answer a direct question about whether it's your avoidant attachment or if you're just not into them. You guys aren't going to want to miss this one.

Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application

And just like that we are back baby. I went on my retreat, where I learned so much. I'll walk you through the whole experience, from being so down bad the week before I left (numbing myself hard), all the way through the cheese and mayo sandwiches we ate during the week, as well as the biggest takeaways I had. My view of myself is different. I feel enlightened, my energy has shifted, and I know how to handle myself so much more. It was like summer camp for geeky men who want to deepen their understanding of self. The things I'll do for self-growth.

Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application

Quick heads up, but I will be gone next week for a 7-day consciousness retreat. In this episode, I talk about going through scarcity in both relationships and finances, stressed nights where I can't sleep, and a book someone sent me about the power of the subconscious mind. I'll talk about self-discovery and how to use your most important currency (attention) to further understand yourself. I'll break down why it's so hard to change someone's perception of you, and if you should let your avoidant ex back in.

Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application

What's more important your goals or your peace? Do you feel you can only have one or the other? Today I attack the difference between wanting and needing something, and the desire for success/relationships while still being grounded in the present. I also bought a DJ set I couldn't afford even with no end goal in sight. I answer listener questions about men not being intentional, hitting up your ex, and why dating feels insane right now.

Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application

You don’t just want a relationship … you want a relationship with someone attractive, with solid values, who can actually meet you where you are. If you want that type of love you need to have a level of confidence that lives up to the request. In this episode, I'll talk about why I feel more confident than I've ever have (despite worse external results). I’ll break down the difference between being intentional versus calculated, why you need to get comfortable being misunderstood, and how to practice being vulnerable. I answer listener questions about early dating confidence, handling rejection, and overcoming the fear of being perceived. To be more comfortable being yourself, you got to be yourself.

Ready to break the pattern, apply to work with me: https://confidencechris.com/mentorship-application

I was definitely yelling a little bit this episode, but sometimes you guys like that shit. I share a lot of great nuggets about living in the now and understanding how our mental fantasies keep us trapped. I talk about my recent feelings of disconnection and how I processed those emotions to understand where I needed to take a risk. I'll break down why you need to stop asking questions and start making statements about what you want, and how to navigate dating speed without losing yourself. Today, you will learn to ask the hard questions and get really honest about what you want.

Work with me, subscribe to my Substack, or find out your dating personality: ⁠⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/links⁠

I used to feel so anxious and insecure. My life was filled with drama, but now I'm realizing it's hard to find many moments when I don't feel peace. In this episode, I'll talk about how every struggle in your life is self-inflicted, why drama isn't happening to you, and how to break free from the insecurity and anxiousness that is destroying your life. I'll address questions around rejection oversensitivity, comparing yourself to your ex's new partner, and why you keep attracting avoidant men.

Work with me, subscribe to my Substack, or find out your dating personality: ⁠⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/links⁠

In this episode, we're going to start surface level, and then we're going to get deep. I start by talking about leaving corporate life and never looking back, then I'll reflect on a question about what men learn when they sleep around a lot. Then we get into the hard stuff. Why do you feel lonely? Why do you feel like a burden? I'll talk about the deep work of eliminating loneliness from your life and what it means to believe you're significant even when nobody's around. I'll break down the difference between living from survival versus wholeness, why you need to get comfortable with the mundane, and how to stop needing external validation to feel whole.

Work with me, subscribe to my Substack, or find out your dating personality: ⁠⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/links⁠

What do you want? Not on the surface, I'm talking deep in your soul... In this episode, I'll talk about the uncomfortable introspection of being alone with yourself, how love is confused with attention, and what I believe love truly is. I'll talk about being honest with people even when it's hard, and how difficult it is to live in your truth. I answer listener questions about avoidant men wanting to be friends after they've already rejected a relationship, telling someone to their face that you're not that interested, and how to navigate your own feelings of insecurity when it comes to wanting and asking for commitment from your situationship.

Work with me, subscribe to my Substack, or find out your dating personality: ⁠⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/links⁠

She apologized for not texting me back, then didn't text me back at all. In this episode, I get into what happens when someone you're down for gets inconsistent and why your reaction to it matters more than theirs. I break down the exact regulation technique I use to calm down my nervous system. I also share a powerful client story about a woman who realized she's been using relationships to regulate her nervous system her entire life, and why that's keeping her stuck in situationships. Then I respond to a listener navigating feelings for a coworker who didn't choose her. This episode is about understanding your relationship triggers and becoming way more grounded through their bullshit.

Work with me, subscribe to my Substack, or find out your dating personality: ⁠⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/links⁠

A girl didn't text me back for 12 hours, and my stomach dropped. In this episode, I get raw about the self-doubt that creeps in when I put myself out there, and why the smallest rejection can trigger the deepest fear. I break down how to actually feel your feelings instead of just thinking about them, why self-improvement is often driven by insecurity, and what scares me most about committing to someone. I also answer fire questions from a listener about my dating patterns, what I look for in a partner, and my longest relationship. If you've ever felt that pit in your stomach when someone doesn't text back, I'll show you exactly how to handle it.

Work with me, subscribe to my Substack, or find out your dating personality: ⁠⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/links⁠

What happens when you're honest, vulnerable, and real... and still don't get what you want? Let's talk about showing up authentically and why it doesn't always work out the way you hope. I'll share two raw stories from my own life: getting stood up after putting myself out there, and ending things with someone I genuinely cared about because something just wasn't aligned. I break down why most people don't actually know how they feel (spoiler: thinking isn't feeling) and why your fear of being "too much" is really just fear of not being enough. I also walk through a listener situation about feeling worthless after a guy asks for space. If you've ever felt like you're the problem, been scared to speak from the heart, or stayed in something that felt good but wasn't right, this one's for you.

Work with me, subscribe to my Substack, or find out your dating personality: ⁠⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/links⁠

I've been feeling different lately, at peace, confident, secure. Today, I will reflect on the reason I feel so present, and how you can too. I'll discuss how your desires, such as wanting a family, a relationship, and success, can hinder your happiness, but also your progress. Then I get into your questions: what to do when you’re feeling anxious over delayed texts, I'll discuss how to calm yourself down and handle the emotion in the moment. I'll talk about how true security is so much more than just feeling confident all the time. Then I'll touch on what to do when you're not physically attractive to them, and how to handle the excitement of meeting someone new, and how to not get too ahead of yourself.

Work with me, subscribe to my Substack, or find out your dating personality: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/links

Have you ever been surrounded by people (even in a relationship) and still felt alone? That’s because loneliness isn’t about being alone, it's what happens when your sense of self is tied to something outside of you … so when connection disappears, you feel like you disappear. In this episode, I break down why most people feel lonely, why we’re scared of it, and how a lot of us are way more codependent than we think (we just call it “love” or “attachment” to make it sound prettier). I also asked you guys what you’re battling internally in your love life right now, and I respond to the stuff I see nonstop: why being single after a long relationship feels brutal, why it’s so hard to let go when someone makes you feel whole for the first time in forever, and why the second they switch up, you’re desperate to get that feeling back. Then I get into what “doing the work” actually is. This episode is a bid to help you start trusting yourself and letting go of the fear of being misunderstood.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

People think self-love is taking yourself on a date or going to the gym, but that's just the surface. In this episode, I share what true self-love is and how to practice it. I'll break down the difference between desire and attachment, and I'll go through the components of our emotions and how we project our feelings onto others instead of owning them ourselves. I share a specific example of how I was triggered in my relationship, how I reacted (needy, angry), and had to take a step back and work through my reaction. Through my personal example, I'll help you unpack your triggers and fears in a relationship and how to overcome them. It's a brand new season (and new year), buckle up because we are going deeper than ever before.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Last episode of the year, it has been a heck of a journey, and we have a great one for you. I start with a personal story of letting go of unintentional connections and the difference between high standards and seeking perfection. I'll tell you why your situationship might seem okay, but how it might actually be blocking you from true love. Speaking of which, I then share a powerful conversation I had with two close guy friends, one recently engaged, and how hearing him talk about feeling inspired by his partner shifted something big for me (I think it will for you too). Finally, I then reflect on: “I’m single and healed… and now I don't want anyone." We will see about that! See you on the otherside.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Don't tell me you love me if you want to keep me ... In this episode, I dive deep into how softness and avoidance go hand in hand. How everyone is a mirror and how our patterns keep replaying in dating without realizing it. I'll show you why you attract people who can’t fully meet you, why vulnerability feels risky even when it’s the thing we want most, and how the people we date end up reflecting the parts of ourselves we’re still avoiding.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Isn’t it funny how the “prize” for being such a boss is you now take care of everything? In this episode, I get into what healthy masculine and feminine energy actually look like in real life: direction, stability, container vs. receptivity, amplification, flow. I'll discuss why so many strong, high-performing women end up stuck in their masculine without realizing it (and spoiler, it’s not because you’re “too much). I walk through an 8-year relationship story to show you how breadcrumbs work, how your identity gets tied to hope, and how mixed signals are just an avoidance of the truth.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

You call it chemistry, your nervous system calls it chaos. I cover a bunch of your situationship questions such as: how soon is too soon, how long is too long, when detachment feels impossible, toxic exs, divorce, empty I love yous, ghost sightings, and finally standing up. This isn't just about situationships, it's a masterclass in letting go of everything you thought you knew about who you are and stepping into the most authentic version of yourself. Today, you are done chasing to be chosen.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Why do you step back when someone finally shows up? Why does safety feel like danger? I’m breaking down avoidance (specifically in women) and all the ways you self-sabotage when you meet a potential good connection. We also dig into the questions you sent in about the pressure surrounding social media in dating, from following Insta models to snooping through his following list. I also share my thoughts on watching p~rn in relationships.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

You're laid back, low maintenance, and you don't need much. The only issue is that you struggle with finding that balance of receiving the energy that you want. I'll talk about how to confidently communicate your feelings without losing your place. I will discuss why men pull away after months of consistency. If you're feeling like you're doing everything right but still not getting what you want, this is for you.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Your ego is about to get rocked, for real. This episode is a deeper look at what ego actually is (which is generally misunderstood). I'll talk about the different ways it manifests in relationships, how your personality is shaped by it, and how to live beyond it (and/or how to make it stronger and healthier). This episode is a wake-up call for anyone who is still stuck holding onto someone they know is not right for them.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Last week, I talked about how you need to challenge a man in order to get him to stay over the long haul. This week, I'll deep dive into what it truly means to be the woman he can't help but respect. I'll also provide you with another tool that you can use to generate instant confidence and build the life you want faster. Visualize what you want, embody the person you want to receive, and watch your world change.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

You know those phases in life where you’re torn between building your dream and building a life with someone? This episode gets deep down into how avoidance shows up in men, what they are actually thinking when they pull back, and why so many people are chasing achievement to fill a void they don’t even see. I also share a personal story of how I stood firm in my boundaries and truth with an avoidant. Today is a giant journey through my brain on the intersection of validation, success, and finding true love.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Let’s take you through the mind of an avoidant, a self-aware one at that. I’ll discuss why getting the ick might be a form of unconscious self-sabotage, why our society craves fake love, and how to better regulate and communicate as an avoidant. If you ever catch yourself missing someone who is not choosing you, let me teach you how to change the narrative and start attracting people who are actually available.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Did you really do too much? ... This week, we will start with why our nervous system pushes us into anxious spirals and overthinking. I'll then give you a powerful tool to combat your anxiety and show you how to stay calm when dating feels uncertain. I'll guide you on how to maintain your peace while meeting new people, especially if you struggle with limerance. I'll also touch on the invisible string theory and questions around whether dating standards have gotten out of control.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

02:58 Limerance & Regulating Your Anxiety

34:00 Invisible String Theory

39:19 Are Dating Standards Getting Out of Control

46:27 How to Date Without Losing Yourself

It's episode 100, wow what a journey! Today I am going to share the 3 most important mindset shifts I've discovered as a coach. Are you ready to release control, kill perfectionism, and know the steps to building true confidence? I'll also share a few recent dating stories from swallowing my pride, choosing love over fear, and a wild story about ghosting and ex lovers.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Dating is supposed to feel good, not confusing, not dismissive, not anxious. This week I talk about situations where ghosting might actually be necessary and why I have zero tolerance for poor communication. I'll share a great self-reflection exercise that reveals what drives you, what you fear, and where you place your worth, which will help you identify your attachments. I also tackle questions about how to know if you are emotionally ready for a relationship, how to handle dating a dismissive avoidant, and if there is anything you can do to help them see their own worth.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters

00:00 Zero Tolerance Policy

18:04 Self-Reflection Exercise

29:01 Dating & Nicotine

42:41What Makes Someone Emotionally Ready

58:29 Dating a Dismissive Avoidant

Have you ever been infatuated and start acting crazy? Well, do I have a story for you! I talk about my pattern of doing too much and how I am learning to slow down and trust myself. We’ll get into how you subconsciously communicate your worth, why being “too nice” too soon can kill attraction, and what it actually looks like to show up grounded and calm instead of overselling. Plus, I answer a listener’s question about whether people really change, why we chase the same patterns even years later, and what to do if you’re struggling with intimacy in avoidant relationships.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters

00:00 Handling Infatuation & Communicating Your Value Better

36:39 Can They Actually Change?

48:16 Avoidant Went and Dated Someone Else After Breakup

52:33 Physical Intimacy Issues with Avoidants

I just got back from a ten-day trip to New York that completely pulled me out of my routine. No TikToks, no structure, just late nights, new people, and letting go of control. I share stories from the trip such as extending my flight last minute, getting ghosted after being real, and trusting that the right people and moments always show up when you stop forcing. This is about choosing love over fear, presence over control, and freedom over validation.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Are they really the next best thing, or are they just like everyone else? Today I had a new voice note coaching client who came to me spiraling and overthinking about her potential new boo. He was throwing everything at her: masculine energy, plans, good vibes, and all of a sudden, everything shifted. She gave me permission to share her question live on the podcast as well as my response. In this episode, I'll talk about what to do when your nervous system goes into overdrive, how to handle the fear of being too much or ruining it before it even starts, and what happens when you sleep with someone quickly and the attachment spikes. Let me help you stay confident in your dating process and decisions.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

In today's episode, I am going to share with you my truest love and deepest fear. It's an exercise that I am going to share with you to help you get to the root of your more controlling beliefs. I'll talk about how these beliefs have played out in my relationships and why I’ve tied so much of my self-worth to attention. I get into the dark side of empathy, how being nice isn’t the same as being authentic, and why so many of the things we think we’re doing out of love are actually driven by fear. I share stories from clients navigating back to friendship when they used to include benefits. I'll discuss how to sit with and handle old traumas while dating or trying to find new partners. If you’ve ever felt invisible, overlooked, or not chosen, this is for you.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters

00:00 Empathy vs Fear

16:01 Deepest Fear vs Deepest Love Exercise

35:54 Single So Long Now You're Avoidant

42:54 Managing Triggers With Someone New

Some endings aren't meant to be rewritten. In this episode, I get into why it’s so tough to let go and why “spinning the block” usually leads to more chaos. I'll discuss how to find emotionally equipped partners, what it means when a man asks you to hang out but never follows through, and the harsh reality of why holding onto "what used to be" keeps you stuck. If you’ve ever needed the truth about whether that spark is real or just a trauma bond, you are about to get it.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters

00:00 Waiting For Commitment

25:33 When They Spin the Block

32:45 How to Find Someone Healed

41:47 “I Want to See You” But No Action

48:34 Intense Spark or Trauma Bond?

This week was a rollercoaster, dates, ghosting, old patterns showing up, and life testing tf out me. I follow up about the girl I went out with and how I still felt the energy was off, even though it looked good on paper. I'll give you guys a tool for how to digest a date, which will help you understand your experience. Then I get into a wild story about a four-hour FaceTime that went from “book a flight” to getting ghosted over lowercase letters. This episode is about slowing down, letting go of chasing attention, and learning how to handle rejection even when it's coming in bunches.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Are you ready to face yourself head-on? Today, I’m breaking down the discomfort and self-doubt that come with being on your own: the second-guessing, the weekends that feel too quiet, and the moments you want to run back to them for comfort. I talk about early-stage dating anxiety, how your avoidance sneaks into both relationships and work, and why relying on someone to “save” you is the fastest way to lose yourself (and them). Plus, I answer a listener’s question on knowing when to walk away from an avoidant partner, especially when their words don’t match their actions.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Ever catch yourself spiraling in overthinking just to realize it all comes down to a single feeling? In today’s episode, I’m getting brutally honest about why so many of us can’t hear ourselves clearly. We’re so stuck in our heads, chasing validation, playing games, and managing other people’s emotions that we completely ignore how we actually feel. I tell my story about picking up a girl in public, why I almost didn’t text her, and how that moment exposed just how deeply I’ve rejected myself. Plus, I break down what real self-trust actually looks like, why most people are living lives they don’t even like, and how to start making choices that are driven by your body, not your ego.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

I’ve always struggled to stand firm in my decisions. I used to see my trust issues as something outward, without realizing it was never about them ... it was always about me. Today, I'll share my breakthroughs on my journey to building genuine self-trust. I talk about how ego, fear, and expectation can keep us trapped in relationships and situations we don’t actually want to be in. I’ll give you examples from two of my clients, one who’s been struggling to let go of a relationship, and one who feels the pressure of finding marriage while the clock’s ticking. It’s not easy to take the world on alone, but I’ll share how I’ve learned to sit in the discomfort and overcome ego even when it's begging you to run back.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

I’ve been sitting with a lot of uncomfortable emotions this week. It’s hard not to feel some resistance when experiencing major change in your life. I’ve been learning to let go, surrender to how people show up, and recognize that building the most secure version of yourself takes time. I talk about what it means to really let go of safety, and why so many of us cling to relationships that don’t align with what we want. This episode is a wake-up call to let go of anything that is stopping you from receiving what you desire deep down.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: https://confidencechris.com

I took this solo trip thinking it would be like a peaceful little reset. But instead, it turned into so much more. This emotional rollercoaster cracked me open in a way I didn’t expect. I talk about what it was like being isolated, completely surrounded by people, having to surrender to all the anxiety and loneliness, and it honestly changed everything for me. As I sat there with all these feelings and finally let them go, something insane happened! This one moment forced me to look at the relationship I was already in and face some hard-ass questions: Am I in this because it feels good and safe, or am I avoiding the truth that it’s not actually what I want? I'll be honest, this part of the story gets messy, but I guess that is for you to judge...

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters

00:00 An Avoidant Takes a Solo Trip (A Wild Ride)

1:04:55 Not Holding Guilt After Showing Up Anxious in Your Relationship

I’ve been realizing how deep my avoidance runs, how I try to control everything just to avoid getting hurt. I talk about a moment this week that really triggered me, some shit came up in my relationship, and I was ready to dip … in the moment I realized that I had to sit with it and be like … am I actually scared of her, or am I scared of being loved? I discuss how I’ve been stuck in the cycle of pushing love away while still craving it, how fear of abandonment has shaped my whole routine, and why I keep people at a distance even when I don’t want to.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/⁠⁠

No Chapters

There’s nothing more devastating to your relationships than your own ego. In this episode, I’m breaking down the patterns that keep us stuck in comparison, insecurity, and why nothing ever feels like enough. I’m sharing how I’ve been navigating my own ego, including a real story about an uncomfortable moment in my relationship. I also get into what to do when you’ve outgrown certain friendships or relationships, and why checking your partner’s IG following might say more about you than them. This is a full breakdown on self-trust, ego, and learning how to stop needing external validation.

Chapters:

00:00 Ego Is Lying to You

39:58 How to Navigate Relationships You've Outgrown

49:19 Checking Their IG Following: Harmless or Insecure?

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

What if I told you that you ARE actually needy? That when you are accused of being too much, it ISN'T a lie, but it is not for the reason that you think! This week, I unpack a bunch of discoveries I've made for both anxious and avoidant attachments. I also made some enormous perosnal strides this week, I share about my incessant need for attention (maybe it's the attention I was deprived of as a kid, I am sure y'all will relate), fear of looking uncool, and finally understanding how destructive my current patterns are in my battle for inner security. I also answer a few listener questions, such as how to let go of someone who isn’t right for you (but you still miss) and what to do when an avoidant gets disrespectful, plus a special twist at the end.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Healing Insecure Attachment

45:39 Letting Go of Someone You Miss But Isn’t Right for You

50:11 How to Respond to Avoidant Calling You Clingy

They always come back, don't they? I hate being a statistic, but this week I embarked on a very questionable quest in the middle of an anxiety attack. In today’s episode, I unpack my anxious avoidant patterns with a few wild stories. I'll also share some recent massive breakthroughs, such as the power of prioritizing self-satisfaction over external approval, and how to choose peace over performance. Let’s talk about why you run, what you're actually chasing, and how to stop judging yourself for just being human. Also, at the end, I'll give you a 15-minute masterclass on flirting with people in the wild. Let's do it!

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Chasing Intensity Instead of Love (Deconstructing Avoidant Attachment)

45:22 How to Flirt: Flirting Masterclass

Today, I'm going off-script, but on script, it's weird. I break down the steps of what it truly means to build self-security. I discuss the trap of chasing external validation and how real happiness lies in the uncomfortable journey inward. I unpack how to stop molding yourself for acceptance, why true worthiness isn’t based on your achievements, and how taking vulnerably risky action will lead you to the authentic relationships you've always wanted. If you’re constantly worried about reactions or if you’re scared to show your true self, this episode is your reminder: the peace you’re seeking is already within you.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

6:53 How to Build Self-Security

43:07 My Subconscious Agreements Holding Me Back From Love

Isn’t it wild how you can miss someone you don’t even want to be with? In today’s episode, I’ll tell you how I’ve been second-guessing myself and why I’ve struggled to walk away from something I knew wasn’t right. We’ll dig into avoidant attachment, self-trust, and the guilt that keeps you stuck. I also talk about redefining what I really want, cutting the bullshit in my dating life, and how easily fear and external validation can run the show.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Intro: Struggling with Guilt & Over-Responsibility for Others Feelings

12:01 Overcoming External Validation

40:05 Fear that I Am Not Cool

52:18 When is the Right Time to Put Out

A lot of men can’t stay still in a relationship, I am one of them. Today, I share my inner dialogue around my recent separation. I discuss the struggle of having high standards versus navigating avoidant attachment. I also unpack some tricky dating scenarios on whether or not to take that extra next date (if you aren’t feeling that initial spark), or what to do when the person you loved ran away and now wants another chance (but you already met their replacement).

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters

00:00 Intro: I Ran Away (Again)

21:13 Should You Keep Dating Without Immediate Attraction

36:05 What to Do if They Come Back and You Already Met Someone New

This week I welcome Rieya on the show! Rieya is one of my current clients, and this week she shares her story about how you end up in a relationship where you abandon yourself, ignore the red flags, and chase breadcrumbs. It’s not always obvious while it’s happening. We get into anxious attachment, over-functioning, and why it’s so hard to let go of someone who once treated you well. We also talk about what emotional abandonment really looks like, how to break that people-pleasing pattern, and why your self-worth can tank when you're trying to “fix” someone who won’t even fix themselves.

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Coachee Spotlight Reiya - Situation Introduction

13:47 Her Biggest Fear Around Love

27:47 Where Her Struggles With Boundaries Came From

35:31 Why You Hold On So Hard

47:10 Men Chasing External Validation

58:02 Sharing a Dog with Your Ex

Ever find yourself stuck ruminating about why a relationship didn't work or obsessing over what could've been done differently? In today's episode, I break down the mindset shifts that helped me finally feel at peace, even amid uncertainty, and why embracing micro-rejections (or abandonment) can be your superpower. Plus, I'll cover the tough questions: When is the right time to break no contact with an ex? How can you tactically and effectively set boundaries early on in dating without causing awkwardness?

Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Chapters:

00:00 Intro - Letting Go of Control

16:03 Breaking No Contact with Your Avoidant Ex

40:48 How to Communicate Boundaries Tactically

59:44 How to Ask "What Are We?" Without Asking