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TitreDateDurée
how to know yourself26 Aug 202400:51:32

we talk rejection, values, and our big plans for the ciss castle (see also: ciss cingdom).

disclaimer: we realized after filming that our mics weren’t plugged in properly! Theo is not the most reliable producer, but we couldn’t recreate this conversation if we tried, so try your best to enjoy anyway!!

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our love story!?!?22 Aug 202400:54:43

the girls recount how they met, talk pod ideas that almost made the cut, evolving attitudes towards men, and the doom and gloom of summer situationships (heyyy siri can you play august by taylor swift)










B!TCHES LOVE NUANCE02 Sep 202400:36:32

the ciss cueens are laughinggg in the ciss castle today!!! they talk dress codes, code switching, girl math, and deepfakes.

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madeline's summer of s*x and partying!!!09 Sep 202400:41:46

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!!! your ciss cueens recap MSoS&P. they cover stories from every date and every girl. now the question remains... who's the winner?

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i dated 9 girls in july (storytime)16 Sep 202400:43:47

part 2 of madeline’s summer of s*x and partying!!! the ciss cueens talk about the first time madeline got ghosted, revisit a drunk post-date voice memo, and expose who won her heart 👀 make your guess before you find out!

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the truth about a 12 year age gap 23 Sep 202400:56:05

madeline gets vulnerable and recounts her most traumatizing relationship with an older man. 


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our experiences with jealousy30 Sep 202400:42:08

your ciss cueens divulge their ugly feelings on shame, jealousy, online comparison, and parasocial relationships with your partners ex. plus the song that changed madeline’s life and the shocking influencers she has shared an ex with.

note: in this episode and prior episode description, we use the term “eskimo sisters," and we've since learned about its offensive history, especially in the context of colonialism & how it misrepresents Indigenous cultures! we are SO sorry for using language that disrespects the rich traditions and histories of Indigenous peoples and want to thank those who gently pointed it out, helping us learn! thank u cissers, we’re committed to getting better!!

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i was publicly HUMILIATED (storytime)18 Nov 202400:36:48

your ciss cueens dive into maalvika's musical trauma, talk hangxiety, dry heaving at your crushes house, one direction boyfriends, and daddy huberman. they're being silly today.

...and they were roommates! (q+a episode)04 Nov 202400:41:45

the ciss cueens answer your dm's and questions! from deciphering whether your feelings are romantic or just a platonic crush, to reflections on aging, the pros and cons of living solo vs. with roommates, and so much more <3

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i was a teenage model… and it was a nightmare28 Oct 202401:08:33

madeline recounts how she got signed, shares juicy details from her teen modeling days, and pulls back the curtain on the gritty side of glitz and glamour. tw: body stuff & grooming
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listen to this if you're afraid to be seen trying21 Oct 202400:39:13

your ciss cueens discuss their recent fight, why sibling order matters, and discuss the terrifying but empowering process of pushing past fear to bring their ideas to life :') this one is truly for the eldest daughters, mirrorballs, and not chill girls <3

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am i pretty enough to be in your life?14 Oct 202400:43:11

your ciss cueens dissect a weird text madeline received at 2am, talk gender roles in gay dating, and maalvika shares a deep insecurity.

as always, leave comments, reviews, and tag us in your stories listening!!! we love to see you :)


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Charlotte York is a closet case, pink eye, the best head, & toots 07 Oct 202400:29:18

your ciss cueens haven't laughed this hard in a LONG time. they sit down with a glass of wine to give you some sex and the city hot takes, madeline recalls her head trauma and butt-to-eye disease, and maalvika spills the beans on toots... it's a wild ride.

as always, leave comments, reviews, and tag us in your stories listening!!! we love to see you :)


please leave us 5 stars and follow us:

gaylor is a cult… here's how i escaped26 Nov 202400:56:45

your ciss cueens (a gaylor & a hetlor) take a deep dive into the internet’s Gaylor theories, unpack lyrical analyses, discuss queer projection, and reflect on their personal timelines of discovering and connecting with Taylor Swift’s music.

and this is just part 1 btw! stay tuned!
please leave us 5 stars and follow us:

podcast instagram: @cisspod

podcast youtube: @cisspod

madeline's instagram: @madelineaford

maalvika's instagram: @maalvikabhat



"my first time with a woman" (storytime)09 Dec 202400:43:28

madeline recounts her first time with a woman -- from a dm & to a plane ride 🤣
please leave us 5 stars & follow us:

podcast instagram: @cisspod

podcast youtube: @cisspod

madeline's instagram: @madelineaford

maalvika's instagram: @maalvikabhat

taylor swift & queerbaiting: the truth? (a debate)02 Dec 202400:46:03

hello cissers! here we have part TWO of your ciss cueens (a gaylor & a hetlor) diving into the internet’s Gaylor theories, kaylor vs. swiftgron, the matty healy of it all, and unpacking lyrical analyses.
please leave us 5 stars & follow us:

podcast instagram: @cisspod

podcast youtube: @cisspod

madeline's instagram: @madelineaford

maalvika's instagram: @maalvikabhat


"how i overcame bipolar 2 and severe depression"24 Dec 202401:03:49

tw: mental illness in this deeply personal video, madeline opens up about her mental health journey, sharing her struggles and moments of darkness with honesty and vulnerability. to anyone who feels like there's no hope: please know it can and will get better. you are not alone, and there is help available. 💛

please leave us 5 stars & follow us:

podcast instagram: @cisspod

podcast youtube: @cisspod

madeline's instagram: @madelineaford

maalvika's instagram: @maalvikabhat
if you or someone you know is struggling, here are some resources that can make a difference: 📞 crisis hotlines U.S. Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988 or visit 988lifeline.org Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (Available in the U.S., U.K., and Canada) International Suicide Hotlines: https://findahelpline.com 🧠 mental health support National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): Call 1-800-950-NAMI or visit nami.org BetterHelp: betterhelp.com (online therapy) Talkspace: talkspace.com

99% vanilla, being "queer enough" & the male ego (q+a episode)16 Dec 202400:48:08

the ciss cueens answer your questions on identity, breakups, and dating challenges. tangents include vanilla-shaming and bad ex stories!
please leave us 5 stars & follow us:

podcast instagram: @cisspod

podcast youtube: @cisspod

madeline's instagram: @madelineaford

maalvika's instagram: @maalvikabhat

our wildest childhood stories 06 Jan 202500:51:35

your ciss cueens are BACK for 2025! this time, discussing weird field trips, sneaking out, crushes, and childhood friendship breakups. one of our favorite episodes yet... loads & loads of giggling :)
please leave us 5 stars & follow us:

podcast instagram: @cisspod

podcast youtube: @cisspod

madeline's instagram: @madelineaford

maalvika's instagram: @maalvikabhat

we watched The Substance so you don't have to13 Jan 202501:27:00

disclaimer: this video is FULL OF SPOILERS. also, madeline’s audio is weak at the start but WE PROMISE IT GETS BETTER. the substance is a 2024 body horror film written, directed, co-edited, and co-produced by coralie fargeat. it’s about a fading celebrity, elisabeth sparkle (played by demi moore), who gets fired by her producer (dennis quaid) for basically aging. then she decides to use this black market drug that makes her a younger version of herself (margaret qualley), but it comes with freaky side effects. this movie is a france/uk/us co-production, following fargeat’s first feature film revenge. apparently, fargeat wrote the screenplay in two years with like, barely any dialogue but super detailed descriptions. iconic. demi moore got the lead role after interviews and margaret qualley was cast after. it was filmed in france over 108 days with a TON of prosthetic makeup, insert shots, creepy sets, and yeah, about 21,000 liters of fake blood. the prosthetic makeup is by pierre-olivier persin and it’s literally nightmare fuel. it premiered may 19, 2024, at cannes (where fargeat won best screenplay, yay!), and came out in the us and uk september 20, 2024, through mubi. it crushed it at the box office — $78 million on a $17.5 million budget. the film’s gotten tons of awards, including golden globe wins and critics' choice noms. demi moore killed it, obviously. but this movie makes you QUEASY. it's intense body horror, and that’s why most people probably won’t watch it. we did, though, so you don’t have to. and we’re gonna break it down scene by scene: what happened, what we liked, what we didn’t like, and all the messy, bloody, grotesque details in between. buckle up.

please leave us 5 stars & follow us:

podcast instagram: @cisspod

podcast youtube: @cisspod

madeline's instagram: @madelineaford

maalvika's instagram: @maalvikabhat

WE WATCHED 7 MOVIES IN 7 DAYS20 Jan 202501:00:30

follow us on letterboxd! @madelineaford & @maalvika

wicked (music and lyrics by stephen schwartz, book by winnie holzman, dir. by jon m. chu): the beloved musical. have you heard of it? uptown girls (written by julia dahl, mo ogrodnik, and leslie dixon, dir. by boaz yakin): a whimsical story about a carefree heiress (brittany murphy) and a precocious child (dakota fanning) learning from each other. the family stone (written and directed by thomas bezucha): a family holiday drama-comedy that perfectly balances heart and chaos. diane keaton and sarah jessica parker lead an ensemble cast navigating love, loss, and togetherness. promising young woman (written and directed by emerald fennell): an unforgettable, genre-defying thriller about revenge and justice. tw, tw, tw. bottoms (written by emma seligman and rachel sennott, dir. by emma seligman): an absurd lesbian comedy about two high schoolers starting a self-defense club (read: fight club) to hook up with cheerleaders. lol. shiva baby (written and directed by emma seligman): an anxiety-filled comedy about a young woman attending a shiva, where personal secrets unravel in front of family and strangers. rachel sennott supremacy!!! my old ass (written and directed by megan park): a mushroom trip brings free-spirited 18 year old elliott face-to-face with her 39-year-old self (aubrey plaza).

please leave us 5 stars & follow us:

podcast instagram: @cisspod

podcast youtube: @cisspod

madeline's instagram: @madelineaford

maalvika's instagram: @maalvikabhat

what we hate about each other 27 Jan 202500:55:25

your ciss cueens have a cosmo in hand & dish on what it's been like living together & being around each other 24/7 please like, comment, & share the pod with your friends. word of mouth is huge! also if you enjoy this pod at all, leave us 5 stars & follow us:

podcast instagram: @cisspod

podcast youtube: @cisspod

madeline's instagram: @madelineaford

maalvika's instagram: @maalvikabhat

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