… we survived Thanksgiving Week, Hallmark-style

Chinggay and Patty live out the true Christmas miracle—watching all eight movies from Thanksgiving week. We got it all this week—a few awful ones that no one should watch (or rewatch), some middle of the road movies with people we love (s/o to Wes Brown and Marco Grazzini), a time-traveling dark horse of a movie, and then there are the hits. Props go to the Hallmark Scandi team for taking us to Iceland and Finland. And all hail the Chiefs for making this partnership with the Hallmark Channel the touchdown of the season.

• Debbie Macomber’s Joyful Mrs. Miracle (Rachel Boston, Pascal Lamothe-Kipnes, Tanner Novlan, Matthew James Dowden and Max Lloyd-Jones)

• Believe in Christmas (Meghan Ory and John Reardon)
• Christmas Under the Lights (Heather Hemmens, Marco Grazzini)
• Deck the Walls (Ashley Greene, Wes Brown, Danny Pellegrino)
• The Finnish Line (Kim Matula, Beau Mirchoff, Nichole Sakura)
• The Christmas Quest (Lacey Chabert, Kristoffer Polaha)
• A ‘90s Christmas (Eva Bourne, Chandler Massey, Katherine Barrell)
• Holiday Touchdown: A Chiefs Love Story (Hunter King, Tyler Hynes)

Thanks to ⁠Pietro Lazatin⁠ for our music and ⁠Paola Lazatin⁠ for our cover art. Follow us on Instagram: ⁠@butmakeithallmark

… and just like that, we’re back on the naughty list

Chinggay and Patty hate on half the movies that came out this week, but are fully in love and committed to #MIraclesOfChristmas “A Novel Noel” and #CountdownToChristmas “Three Wiser Men and a Boy.” Skip the below-average hospital movie and the even worse marriage boot camp movie in favor of repeat watches starring Hallmark regulars Julie, Brendan, Tyler, Paul, and Andrew. Bonus: An extra round of F and M because we cannot K anyone in this week’s best movie.

• To Have and to Holiday (Madeleine Arthur, Robert Bazzocchi, Eric Close)
• Christmas on Call (Sara Canning and Ser’Darius Blain with a cameo appearance by Donna Kelce)
• A Novel Noel (Julie Gonzalo, Brendan Penny)
• Three Wiser Men and a Boy (Paul Campbell, Tyler Hynes, Andrew Walker, Margaret Colin)

Thanks to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pietro Lazatin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for our music and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Paola Lazatin⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for our cover art. Follow us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty fixate on their current Hallmark kinks: Patagonia sad dads and crumbs from a kind friend-to-lover. This week’s movies fall under No Man’s Land season, where random themes reign supreme — female empowerment care of fighter pilot moms and car mechanic daughters. Two favourite actresses, Erin Cahill and Rachel Boston, return for less than stellar movies; and two favourite Hallmark hunks Niall Matter and Tyler Hynes battle it out (and fail). At the end of the day, it’s the dude who scratches the dependability itch that trumps all.

John Mayer dependability kink

A Taste of Love (Erin Cahill, Martin Kove)

The More Love Grows (Rachel Boston, Warren Christie)

Come Fly with Me (Heather Hemmes, Niall Matter)

Shifting Gears (Katherine Barrell, Tyler Hynes)

Guiding Emily (Sarah Drew, Antonio Cupo)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty get loud, proud, and prejudiced because it’s Austen month on the Hallmark Channel! It is a truth universally acknowledged that when certain actors who BMIH has deemed disgraced come on-screen, you get a pod filled with intense rage. On the opposite end of the spectrum, this season is also happily full of intense longing, love, and female empowerment… thanks to the dazzling display of talent presented by old faves Will Kemp, Mallory Jansen, and newcomer Eliza Bennett. Fellow Jane-ites, you’ll need to give this ep a listen.

Love & Jane (Alison Sweeney, Benjamin Ayres)

Sense & Sensibility (Deborah Ayorinde, Bethany Antonia, Dan Jeannotte)

Paging Mr. Darcy (Mallory Jansen, Will Kemp)

An American in Austen (Eliza Bennett, Nicholas Bishop)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty actually get through New Year New Movies without a hitch! The year started with a slew of sports offset by Hallmark’s usual tropes. Rugby + fascination with a foreign land, golf + dead moms, aerial silks + small town festival. The one movie that managed to steer clear of any tropes, of course, took our breath away—and we have Laci J. Mailley’s fabulous bob and Marco Grazzini to thank for that.

A Scottish Love Scheme (Erika Durance, Jordan Young)

Love on the Right Course (Ashley Newbrough, Marcus Rosner)

Betty’s Bad Luck in Love (Laci J. Mailley, Marco Grazzini)

Romance with a Twist (Jocelyn Hudon, Olivier Renaud)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty share their Top 12 movies from this year’s Countdown to Christmas and Miracles of Christmas season. This year, we get fans, family, and friends to share their thoughts on our top picks; and rank our best holiday movies from across the years. It’s been a rollercoaster of a season—thanks for sticking it out with us!

Round and Round (Vic Michaelis, Bryan Greenberg, Rick Hoffman)

A Biltmore Christmas (Bethany Joy Lenz, Kristoffer Polaha, Jonathan Frakes, Robert Picardo)

Never Been Chris’d (Janel Parrish, Pascal Lamothe-Kipnes, Tyler Hynes)

Christmas Island (Rachel Skarsten, Andrew Walker)

Haul Out the Holly: Lit Up (Lacey Chabert, Wes Brown, Stephen Tobolowsky, Melissa Peterman, Ellen Travolta)

My Christmas Guide (Amber Marshall, Ben Mehl)

Holiday Hotline (Emily Tennant, Niall Matter)

Mystic Christmas (Jessy Schram, Chandler Massey, Patti Murin, William R. Moss)

Rescuing Christmas (Rachael Leigh Cook, Sam Page)

A Season for Family (Brendan Penny, Stacey Farber, Benjamin Jacobson, Azriel Dalman)

A Not So Royal Christmas (Brooke D'Orsay, Will Kemp)

Flipping for Christmas (Ashley Newbrough, Marcus Rosner)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty throw well-deserved shade at nearly every movie this week and unwillingly come up with a nice movie amidst a sea of naughty ones (the bar was on the floor for the end of Countdown to Christmas). That said, we celebrate our lezzie queens and admit that all we want for Christmas is a Sugar Daddy.

Sealed with a List (Kate Findlay, Evan Roderick)

Friends & Family Christmas (Humberly Gonzalez, Ali Liebert)

An Ice Palace Romance (Celeste Desjardins, Marcus Rosner)

The Secret Gift of Christmas (Megan Ohry, Christopher Russell)

Miracle in Bethlehem, PA (Laura Vandervoort, Benjamin Ayres)

Heaven Down Here (Krystal Joy Brown, Tina Lifford, Juan Riedinger, Richard Harmon, Phylicia Rashad)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty just cannot with Hallmark’s attempt at making a “This is Us” movie; plus Paul Campbell and Kimberly Sustad come to the screens but in separate movies, and it breaks our hearts a little. We celebrate Sam Page’s return to the channel (with Rachael Leigh Cook as an added bonus). And for the fourth year in a row, Hanukkah steals our hearts, wipes the competition, and kicks Christmas movies to the curb.

Round and Round (Vic Michaelis, Bryan Greenberg, Rick Hoffman)

Rescuing Christmas (Rachael Leigh Cook, Sam Page)

Magic in Mistletoe (Lyndie Greenwood, Paul Campbell)

To All a Good Night (Kimberley Sustad, Mark Ghanimé)

Christmas on Cherry Lane (Catherine Bell, Jonathan Bennett, John Brotherton, Erin Cahill, James Denton, Vincent Rodriguez III)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty trudge through another round of mediocre movies saved by one gem and one gem alone. There’s the yearly call to arms protesting the Time For x Miracles of Christmas movies, and an unfortunately messy Mahogany movie with what would have been a promising cast (hello again, Ronnie Rowe Jr.). Hallmark’s Fascination with a Foreign Land transports us to Norway this week, and we’re also whipped off to a fake kingdom where Will Kemp pretends to be a Count. Disclaimer: we slept through many of the week’s duds.

Time for Her to Come Home for Christmas (Shenaie Grimes-Beech, Chris Carmack, Grace Leer)

Christmas with a Kiss (Mishael Morgan, Ronnie Rowe Jr., Jaime M. Calica)

My Norweigan Holiday (Rhiannon Fish, David Elsendoorn)

A Not So Royal Christmas (Brooke D'Orsay, Will Kemp)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty speed through eight movies in under a week and weed through the naughty ones so you don’t have to watch them. Fast forward through holiday mediocrity and more couples in trouble and hit pause for a surprise makeout scene. We see Patty’s most beloved tropes from across the Pond demolished, and Chinggay gives in to Love, Actually-inspired schmaltz. The clear winners of the week are Hallmark’s go big or go home fare: a zany neighbourhood comedy and time-traveling Bethany Joy Lenz with 1940s Kristoffer Polaha in “A Biltmore Christmas.”

Our Christmas Mural (Alex Paxton-Beesley, Dan Jeannot)

Catch Me If You Claus (Italia Ricci, Luke Macfarlane)

A Season for Family (Brendan Penny, Stacey Farber, Benjamin Jacobson, Azriel Dalman)

Christmas in Notting Hill (Sarah Ramos, William Moseley)

Letters to Santa (Katie Leclerc, Rafael de la Fuente)

Holiday Road (Sara Canning, Warren Christie)

Haul Out the Holly: Lit Up (Lacey Chabert, Wes Brown, Stephen Tobolowsky, Melissa Peterman, Ellen Travolta, Seth Morris, Jennifer Aspen)

A Biltmore Christmas (Bethany Joy Lenz, Kristoffer Polaha, Jonathan Frakes, Robert Picardo)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty trudge through the holiday sludge before getting to the cream of the crop of this week. Nikki deLoach gets crowned as Queen of all Couples In Trouble ™, Lucas Bryant and Stephen Huszar are nominated as Dead Eyes Sr. and Jr., and Lacey Chabert looks fab in off-shoulder tops. The cameo to end all cameos happens this week, plus a callback to “You’ve Got Mail” that makes Niall Matter one of our top DILFs.

Navigating Christmas (Chelsea Hobbs, Stephen Huszar)

A World Record Christmas (Nikki DeLoach, Lucas Bryant, Aias Dalman)

A Merry Scottish Christmas (Lacey Chabert, Scott Wolf)

Holiday Hotline (Emily Tennant, Niall Matter)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty call it a tie—two naughties and two nice movies this week. We send Cindy Busby our Yuletide sympathies, are glad to have Good Witch Joy back in circulation, and are in support of Hallmark’s Fascination with Foreign Lands™️. Lastly, it’s a battle between Hallmark’s Finest with burly Victor Webster and king of the Almost Kisses Andrew Walker.

Everything Christmas (Katherine Barrell, Cindy Busby, Corey Sevier, Matt Wells)

A Heidelberg Holiday (Ginna Claire Mason, Frédéric Brossier)

Mystery on Mistletoe Lane (Erika Cera, Victor Webster)

Christmas Island (Rachel Skarsten, Andrew Walker)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

… it’s another Hallmark homerun this week

Chinggay and Patty are in utter disbelief because all four movies on Week Five of #CountdownToChristmas and #MiraclesOfChristmas are worth everyone’s time. We’re celebrating excellent ensemble casts in all the movies, a unique anti-hero, fun and of-the-moment culture clashes, Andrew Walker as a Spon-Con ex pro-athlete, and a delightful first movie from Angela Kinsey of The Office. Bonus: Two special mentions for the Dan Jeanotte Redemption Award.

• A Reason for the Season (Taylor Cole, Kevin McGarry)
• Christmas with the Singhs (Anuja Joshi, Benjamin Hollingsworth)
• Jingle Bell Run (Ashley Williams, Andrew Walker)
• Confessions of a Christmas Letter (Angela Kinsey, Alec Santos)

Thanks to ⁠⁠⁠⁠Pietro Lazatin⁠⁠⁠⁠ for our music and ⁠⁠⁠⁠Paola Lazatin⁠⁠⁠⁠ for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@makeithallmark⁠⁠⁠⁠ and on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty have zero notes because this week’s movies are pitch perfect—two thumbs up for every Hallmark genre. The always delightful Hunter King leads the pack in an ensemble / girls’ night out flick. Our fave Heartland gal Amber Marshall melts our hearts as she gets it on with professorial heartthrob + Hallmark newcomer of the week, Ben Mehl. We are tied up in knots over beautiful people flipping houses with Marcus Rosner and Ashley Newbrough. And our best gal Janel Parrish finally paired with master of swagger Tyler Hynes? It doesn’t get better than this.

The Santa Summit (Hunter King, Benjamin Hollingsworth)

Flipping for Christmas (Ashley Newbrough, Marcus Rosner)

My Christmas Guide (Amber Marshall, Ben Mehl)

Never Been Chris’d (Janel Parrish, Pascal Lamothe-Kipnes, Tyler Hynes)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty have a huge slice of humble pie this week as their former Hallmark hates become this week’s big winners. While we wish Jaicy Elliot and Brant Daughtery could get a better storyline (no more stupid fables, please), we have no notes for the ultimate Zaddy himself, Brennan Elliot. Patty makes peace with Barbara Niven, while Chinggay eats her words and admits we got a Jessy Schram-tastic movie in Mystic Christmas. Surprise surprise, Chandler Massey finally gets in BMIH’s good graces.

Christmas By Design (Rebecca Dalton, Jonathan Keltz)

Joyeux Noel (Jaicy Elliot, Brant Daugherty)

Ms. Christmas Comes To Town (Erica Durance, Brennan Elliott, Barbara Niven)

Mystic Christmas (Jessy Schram, Chandler Massey, Patti Murin, William R. Moss)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty return to the pod as Hallmark launches Countdown to Christmas. On the first week of holiday movies, we get women in STEM with a too-hot brother, Kevin McGarry’s blue eyes and perfect hair, and Michael Rady making a comeback in a magical realism movie no one asked for but inevitably stole our hearts. Not a bad start to the season!

Under the Christmas Sky (Jessica Parker Kennedy, Ryan Paevey)

Checkin’ It Twice (Kim Matula, Kevin McGarry)

Where Are You, Christmas? (Lyndsy Fonseca, Michael Rady, Jim O'Heir, Julie Warner)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty skip the winter season and head straight into spring…

with way more movies than they bargained for. It’s a mixed bag with clear losers, middling airtime fillers, and two of the best movies we’ve seen in a while, thanks to Hallmark’s two Erins—Krakow and Cahill. Plus: a new nemesis to watch out for.

Love in the Maldives (Jocelyn Hutton, Jake Manley)

A Picture of Her (Rhiannon Fish, Tyler Hynes)

When Love Springs (Rhiannon Fish, James O'Halloran)

The Professional Bridesmaid (Hunter King, Chandler Massey)

A Pinch of Portugal (Heather Hemmens, Luke Mitchell)

The Wedding Cottage (Erin Krakow, Brendan Penny)

Hearts in the Game (Erin Cahill, Marco Grazzini)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty’s own Miracle of Christmas? Making it through 10 weekly episodes, 40 movies, and a ton of surprises cameos this year. 2022 was a stacked year, but we’ve managed to whittle it down to the best 15, just for you. Happy New Year folks—see you next season.

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty go bananas over the utter perfection that is “Hanukkah on Rye.” We’re talking Jewish nuance, a smashing ensemble cast, smart writing, witty banter, and our favorite trope of all: “You’ve Got Mail / The Shop Around the Corner.” Forget every other movie this week and just watch this one four times over. Plus: a husband wife switcheroo for f*ck marry kill.

Five More Minutes: Moments Like These (Ashley Williams, Lucas Bryant)

Holiday Heritage (Lyndie Greenwood, Brooks Darnell and Holly Robinson Peete)

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (Torrey deVito, Zane Holtz)

Hanukkah on Rye (Yael Grobglas, Jeremy Jordan)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty revel at all the barriers that were broken this week. Jonathan Bennett’s efforts to spearhead inclusivity for the LGBTQ community were top notch—“The Holiday Sitter” is joining the ranks of Hallmark Christmas classics for years to come. The surprise of the season is Dayspring’s Christianity-centric movie, which had fast faves Niki DeLoach and Zaddy himself, Brennan Elliott, exploring grief. Bonus: a f*ck marry kill where the extras reign supreme.

Catch us every week until December for our roundup of holiday hits!

Christmas Class Reunion (Aimee Teegarden, Tanner Novlan)

The Most Colorful Time of the Year (Katrina Bowden, Christopher Russell)

The Gift of Peace (Nikki DeLoach, Brennan Elliott)

The Holiday Sitter (Jonathan Bennett, George Krissa, Chelsea Hobbs)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty nearly call it quits after the most disappointing lineup of movies BMIH has ever seen. Kudos to Steven Huszar for sending shockwaves into our hearts by playing an ex-Navy Seal bodyguard. We watch these movies so you don’t have to—hear our thoughts and immediately tune into “Undercover Holiday” for shits, giggles, and holiday Huszar action.

Catch us every week until December for our roundup of holiday hits!

A Big Fat Family Christmas (Shannon Chan-Kent, Shannon Kook, Tia Carrere, Jack Wagner)

A Fabled Holiday (Brooke d'Orsay, Ryan Paevey)

The Holiday Stocking (Nadine Ellis, Tamala Jones, and BJ Britt. Cameo by Mykelti Williamson)

Undercover Holiday (Noemi Gonzalez, Steven Huszar)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty divvy up the Merry Thanksgiving movies into three categories—mediocre non-performers, basic Hallmark fare, and all-new classics everyone’s sure to rewatch for years to come. BMIH kings Tyler Hynes and Victor Webster take the cake this week, while HCU queens Lacey Chabert and Rachel Boston show everyone how it’s done. There’s a little something for everyone this week and that’s enough reason to go through eight movies in one go. Special mention to Hallmark’s next gen up and comers Jaicy Elliot and Hunter King.

Catch us every week until December for our roundup of holiday hits!

A Holiday Spectacular (Ginna Claire Mason, Derek Klena, Eve Plumb, Ann-Margret, and features the Radio City Rockettes)

A Tale of Two Christmases (Katherine Barrell, Chandler Massey, Evan Roderick)

A Royal Corgi Christmas (Hunter King, Jordan Renzo )

Time for Him to Come Home for Christmas (Holland Roden, Tyler Hynes, Tenille Townes)

My Southern Family Christmas (Jaicy Elliot, Ryan Rottman, with Moira Kelly, Bruce Campbell)

#Xmas (Clare Bowen, Brant Daugherty)

A Christmas Cookie Catastrophe (Rachel Boston, Victor Webster)

Haul Out the Holly (Lacey Chabert, Wes Brown, Stephen Tobolowsky, Melissa Peterman, Ellen Travolta)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty speed through the week’s meh movies in order to a fully fleshed out, in-depth look at Hallmark’s most highly-rated movie yet, “Three Wise Men and a Baby.” Andrew Walker (aka Captain America of the HCU) as a firefighter who looks after his family because he’s perfect like that, Paul Campbell as an anxiety-ridden pet therapist who’s socially inept, and Tyler Hynes as a nerdy gamer who suffers from Peter Pan syndrome come together in a whipsmart movie that pays tribute to the invisible labor of women (co-written by Kimberly Sustad and Paul Campbell). The sheer starpower of this movie required two full rounds of F*ck, Marry, Kill.

Catch us every week until December for our roundup of holiday hits!

Long Lost Christmas (Taylor Coke, Benjamin Ayres)

Inventing the Christmas Prince (Tamara Mowry-Housley, Ronnie Rowe)

When I Think of Christmas (Shenae Grimes-Beech, Niall Matter)

Three Wise Men and a Baby (Andrew Walker, Paul Campbell, Tyler Hynes, Margaret Colin)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

… Hallmark, you sneaky little minx

Chinggay and Patty are floored. Every one of Week Four’s movies was worth watching; and an entire ensemble cast receives the Dan Jeanotte Redemption Award for proving us that first impressions can be changed given a good script and good direction. Here we discover our love for a sexy drawl, Europeans in Hallmark movies, and a wacky meta comedy that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Bonus: two rounds of FMK.

• Five Gold Rings (Holland Roden, Nolan Gerard Funk)
• Trivia at St. Nick’s (Tammin Sursok, Brant Daugherty)
• Santa Tell Me (Erin Krakow, Daniel Lissing, Benjamin Ayres, Christopher Russell, Kurt Szarka)
• ‘Tis the Season to Be Irish (Fiona Gubelmann, Eoin Macke)

Thanks to ⁠⁠⁠Pietro Lazatin⁠⁠⁠ for our music and ⁠⁠⁠Paola Lazatin⁠⁠⁠ for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠@makeithallmark⁠⁠⁠ and on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty are shocked. A Hallmark spy movie with royalty, children, and kidnapping? Hallmark Movies & Mysteries managing to cast someone as huge as Beau Bridges? An ambitious take on Love Actually… actually working? Patty not hating on Barbara Niven? And Brendan Penny being the dork to superstar Patti Murin? Wonders never cease. This week, embark on an IMDb rabbit hole with us as we survey the best directors of the HCU… and hear about our latest most f*ckable most marry-worthy man.

Catch us every week until December for our roundup of holiday hits!

Christmas at the Golden Dragon (Kara Wang, Osric Chau, Sara Canning, Antonio Cupo, Barbara Niven)

In Merry Measure (Patti Murin, Brendan Penny)

The Royal Nanny (Rachel Skarsten, Dan Jeanotte)

Our Italian Christmas Memories (Sarah Power, Beau Bridges)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty have called it—the first terrible movie of the year has made it to the lineup (consider yourselves warned). Ali Sweeney fails to appeal to BMIH’s cold, cynical hearts, but Marlo Thomas becomes a contender for Christmas mom of the year. Two of the HCU’s biggest leads go head to head this week in two different movies: Andrew Walker gets sappy in a maple farm and Kimberly Sustad takes over Hollywood. Bonus content—Tyler Hynes Tiktok: an education.

Catch us every week until December for our roundup of holiday hits!

All Saints Christmas (Ledisi, Roger Cross)

A Magical Christmas Village (Alison Sweeney, Luke Macfarlane, Marlo Thomas)

Maple Valley Christmas (Peyton List, Andrew Walker)

Lights, Camera, Christmas! (Kimberly Sustad, John Brotherton)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty’s jaws have dropped as they discuss a multitude of holiday twists. A resurrected dead husband? A non-Scrooge possibly falling in love with his grandma? Will Kemp’s American accent? Jodie Sweetin charming our hearts? Snark has left the building and has been replaced by pure, wholesome holiday cheer. As the Naughty List stays empty, we wonder: Is it all downhill from here?

Catch us every week until December for our roundup of holiday hits!

Ghosts of Christmas Always (Kim Matula, Ian Harding, Beth Leavel, Lori Tan Chinn, Reginald VelJohnson)

Jolly Good Christmas (Reshma Shetty, Will Kemp)

A Cozy Christmas Inn (Jodie Sweetin, David O’Donnell)

Christmas Bedtime Stories (Erin Cahill, Steve Lund, Charlie Weber, Alice Comer)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty kick off the third annual BMIH Countdown to Christmas + Miracles of Christmas reviews with high hopes and high praises. Resident HCU A-lister Kristoffer Polaha leaves a lasting impression once again, Sarah Ramos makes waves as 2022’s fresh, bright newcomer, and in the biggest twist of all, Carlo Marks goes from Chesapeake Shores roadkill to silver fox of Patty’s heart.

Catch us every week until December for our roundup of holiday hits!

• Noel Next Door (Natalie Hall, Corey Sevier)

• We Need a Little Christmas (Erica Durance, Patrick Sabongui, Lynn Whitfield)

• A Kismet Christmas (Sarah Ramos, Carlo Marks, Marilu Henner)

• We Wish You a Married Christmas (Marisol Nichols, Kristoffer Polaha)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty mourn the end of their favorite Hallmark series and move through all the Season 6 highs, lows, and shoulda-woulda-couldas with heaps of nostalgia and sentimentality. There’s no contest when it comes to the O’Brien winners (Kevin and Mick 4ever; with Connor as a solid runner-up), but there’s a lot to discuss when it comes to the worst family member—listen to F*ck Marry Kill Chesapeake Shores edition to find out who gets the BMIH kiss of death.

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty agree that watching the entire fall lineup of the Hallmark Channel is next to impossible, and settle for six movies instead (most of which of don’t make the grade). The stunners of the season, however, are Hallmark royalty—there’s not a lot that Amanda Schull, Brennan Elliot, Rachel Boston, and Paul Campbell can’t do to win our hearts (and win back our trust). PS: BMIH lore is also unlocked this episode as we finally talk about the reason why we’ve been hating on a certain Zaddy for the last two years.

• Love in the Limelight (Alexa Penavega, Carlos Penavega)

• Game, Set, Love (Davida Williams, Richard Harmon)

• Marry Me in Yosemite (Cindy Busby, Tyler Harlow)

• Romance in Style (Jaicy Elliot, Benjamin Hollingsworth)

• Marry Go Round (Amanda Schull, Brennan Elliot)

• Dating the Delaneys (Rachel Boston, Paul Campbell)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty send salty season’s greetings to movies from the HCU’s Christmas past and Christmas present. Aside from some horribly cast and terribly written oldies, it looks like fan faves Kevin and Kayla are dealt yet another dud. Good thing this season gave some sexy and surprising slays with a fun, flirty toy movie and a blended family flick. Bonus: Some commentary on Hallmark’s widest hulk smash lumberjacks.

A Perfect Christmas (Susie Abromeit, Dillon Casey, Erin Gray)

The Christmas Cure (Brooke Nevin, Steve Byers, Patrick Duffy)

My Grown-Up Christmas List (Kayla Wallace, Kevin McGarry)

Crashing Through the Snow (Amy Acker, Warren Christie, Brooke Nevin, Kristian Bruun)

Christmas in Toyland (Vanessa Lengies, Jesse Hutch)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty dive right into Summer Nights ‘22 and are pleasantly surprised by its many hidden gems. A-listers Ashley Williams and Ryan Paevey steal the show with “Two Tickets to Paradise” and HCU rookies Hunter King and Beau Mirchoff make a case for enemies to lovers with “Hidden Gems.” Stay tuned for F*ck Marry Kill as Patty makes her case for who the true “Beast” of the Hallmark Channel is.

Moriah’s Lighthouse (Rachel Lefevre and Luke Macfarlane)

Caribbean Summer (Heather Hemmens and Ser’Darius Blain)

Two Tickets to Paradise (Ashley Williams and Ryan Paevey)

Hidden Gems (Hunter King and Beau Mirchoff)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty talk lowlights, highlights, and plot suggestions for Season 10. Puppy love in the time of cholera, an alternate DILF timeline, and (just maybe) killing off the main character of the show. Plus, the new couple everyone needs to root for: Mountie Nathan and Newly Single Doctor Faith. We also welcome our favorite HCU standby, Matthew James Dowden into the WCTH fold.

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty play catchup on Hallmark’s 2022 lineup and pick five movies to diss and dish on. Get ready for all-new pitches for the HCU: the Luscious Locks Club, a cast switcheroo between our favorite WCTH couple Kevin and Kyla + superstars Tyler Hynes and Autumn Reeser, and a Regency period Hallmark series.

Always Amore (Autumn Reeser and Tyler Hynes)

Butlers in Love (Stacey Farber and Corey Cott)

Feeling Butterflies (Kayla Wallace and Kevin McGarry)

A Royal Runaway Romance (Philippa Northeast and Brant Daugherty)

The Perfect Pairing (Nazneen Contractor and Brennan Elliot)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

… take a shot every time we ask, “What are we doing, Hallmark?”

Chinggay and Patty share a mild case of anger towards Hallmark for continuing to push its musical agenda with the wrong people and for hard-selling A-listers but giving us Z-list plots. Props to Warren Christie for coming out of the dark side and for Sabrina the Teenage Witch’s aunties for giving us the perfect comfort watch (and two newcomers we hope to see on the channel again). Special mention goes to singer-swimmer Jordan Litz.

• A Carol for Two (Ginna Claire-Mason, Jordan Litz, Charlotte d'Amboise)
• My Sweet Austrian Holiday (Brittany Bristow, Will Kemp)
• Our Holiday Story (Nikki DeLoach, Warren Christie)
• Holiday Mismatch (Caroline Rhea, Beth Broderick)

Thanks to ⁠⁠Pietro Lazatin⁠⁠ for our music and ⁠⁠Paola Lazatin⁠⁠ for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: ⁠⁠@makeithallmark⁠⁠ and on Instagram: ⁠⁠@butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty kick off Year 3 of Hallmark movie reviews with Lacey Chabert, Autumn Reeser, and Allison Sweeney—three best friends who find an antique wedding veil said to bring true love to whoever owns it. Expect violent rants from Chinggay, 3/3 leading man raves from Patty, and a sudden craving for all things Italian (wink, wink).

The Wedding Veil (Lacey Chabert, Kevin McGarry, Autumn Reeser, Alison Sweeney)

The Wedding Veil Unveiled (Autumn Reeser, Paolo Bernardini, Lacey Chabert and Alison Sweeney)

The Wedding Veil Legacy (Alison Sweeney, Victor Webster, Lacey Chabert and Autumn Reesera0

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty look back on all 40 movies they’ve watched since October and rank the worst, the almost but not quites, and of course, the year’s Top 12. Also included: this year’s secondary characters who need to score major roles, our dream collabs among the stars of the HCU, our (loving) co-opting of Hanukkah traditions, who our Hallmark Santa is, and the one star who deserves so much credit, we mention him in all our Christmas episodes. Stand by for F*ck, Marry, Kill: Holiday Edition.

The Christmas House 2: Deck Those Halls - Ana Ayora, Sharon Lawrence, Robert Buckley, Jonathan Bennett, Treat Williams, Brad Harder

'Tis the Season to Be Merry - Rachael Leigh Cook, Travis Van Winkle

The Eight Gifts of Hannukkah - Inbar Levi, Jake Epstein

An Unexpected Christmas - Bethany Joy Lenz, Tyler Hynes

My Family Christmas Tree - Aimee Teegarden, Andrew Walker

One December Night - Peter Gallagher, Bruce Campbell, Eloise Mumford, Brett Dalton

Debbie McComber’s Mrs. Miracle Christmas - Caroline Rhea, Katilin Doubleday, Steve Lund

A Christmas Together With You - Laura Vandervoort, Niall Matter, Harry Lennix

The Nine Kittens of Christmas - Kimberly Sustad, Brandon Routh

A Very Merry Bridesmaid - Emily Osment, Casey Diedrick

Nantucket Noel - Sarah Power, Travis Donovan

Time for Them to Come Home This Christmas - Jessie Schram, Brendan Penny

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty are sad to see the Miracles of Christmas bangers come to a resounding crash with this week’s tragic movies. But are revived and revved up with two of the year’s best movies yet: a reprise from the beloved Christmas House cast and the best triple-name pairing we’ve seen yet: Rachael Leigh Cook and Travis Van Winkle. Raise your hot cocoa glasses—we made it to the end of 2021!

A Godwink Christmas: Miracle of Love (Katherine Barrell, Alberto Frezza)

Christmas for Keeps (Christa B. Allen, Ashley Newbrough, Marielle Scott, Ryan Rottman, Cardi Wong)

Sister Swap: Christmas in the City (Ashley Williams, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Keith Robinson)

A Royal Queens Christmas (Megan Park, Julian Morris)

‘Tis the Season to Be Merry (Rachael Leigh Cook, Travis Van Winkle)

The Christmas House 2: Deck Those Halls (Ana Ayora, Sharon Lawrence, Robert Buckley, Jonathan Bennett, Treat Williams, Brad Harder)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty have waited years for Kristoffer Polaha to make his Hallmark holiday comeback—they finally get their wish this week with an amazing meta/parody performance. Plus, newcomers to the HCU take their breath away and the Williams ladies deliver a Sister Swap slam dunk.

Sugar Plum Twist (Jamie Gray Hyder, Laura Rosguer, Ektor Rivera)

Our Christmas Journey (Holly Robinson-Peete, Lyriq Bent, Nik Sanchez, Aloma Wright)

A Dickens of a Holiday! (Brooke D’Orsay, Kristoffer Polaha)

Sister Swap: A Hometown Holiday (Ashley Williams, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Mark Deklin, Keith Robinson)

A Very Merry Bridesmaid (Emily Osment, Casey Deidrick)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty recast the week’s many mistletoe misses by summoning the long-missed big guns: Kris Polaha, Autumn Reeser, and JerJor to come save Christmas. In a surprising turn of events, they cement their love for holiday heroine Lacey Chabert, crown Brendan Penny as king of Hallmark’s service and care professions, and freak out over the 3/3 Hanukkah hit, “Eight Gifts of Christmas.” Stand by for F*ck, Marry, Kill for another double wedding.

The Christmas Contest (Candace Cameron Bure, John Brotherton)

Making Spirits Bright (Taylor Cole, Carlo Marks)

Christmas in Tahoe (Laura Osnes, Pat Monahan, Kyle Selig)

Christmas at Castle Hart (Lacey Chabert, Stuart Townsend)

Time for Them to Come Home This Christmas (Jessy Schram, Brendan Penny)

Eight Gifts of Christmas (Inbar Levi, Jake Epstein)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty cringe through a few misses and revel at the massive number of hits that Hallmark’s Merry Thanksgiving streak had to offer. It was like the veritable HCU Avengers came to town, with Niall Matter (worming his way into our panties again), Tyler Hynes (who we have F’d and M’d one too many times), unexpected cameos from actors who’ve stolen our hearts, unexpected bad guy from the big city Trevor Donovan, actual DC superhero fireman Brandon Routh, and Hallmark comedy queens Kimberly Sustad and Bethany Joy Lenz. We lose our sh*t in this episode, and if you watch our recommendations, you’ll know exactly why.

Christmas CEO (Marisol Nichols, Paul Greene)

Five More Minutes (Nikki DeLoach, David Haydn-Jones)

A Kiss Before Christmas (Teri Hatcher, James Denton)

A Christmas Together WIth You (Laura Vandervoort, Niall Matter, Harry Lennix)

The Nine Kittens of Christmas (Kimberly Sustad, Brandon Routh, Gregory Harrison)

Nantucket Noel (Sarah Power, Trevor Donovan)

An Unexpected Christmas (Bethany Joy Lenz, Tyler Hynes)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty can’t believe the network finally gave Andrew Walker an electrifyingly awesome holiday movie. And if that wasn’t enough excitement for one week, Peter Gallagher has entered the HCU, proving that he is the real Hallmark Zaddy. Plus, Patty divulges our secret grudge against one unnamed leading man.

A Holiday in Harlem (Olivia Washington, Will Adams, Tina Lifford)

Open By Christmas (Alison Sweeney, Brennan Elliot, Erica Durance, Michael Karl Richards)

My Christmas Family Tree (Aimee Teagarden, Andrew Walker, James Tupper)

One December Night (Peter Gallagher, Bruce Campbell, Eloise Mumford, Brett Dalton)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty barely made it through this week, remembering only the bare minimum from Countdown to Christmas’ three MIstletoe Misses. The bright spot this week comes from Hallmark Movies and Mysteries’ Miracles of Christmas again. Who knew we’d choose a wholesome, family drama over all the would-be romcoms this year? Stay tuned for the mass homicide happening this episode at F*ck, Marry, and Kill.

A Christmas Treasure (Jordin Sparks, Michael Xavier)

Gingerbread Miracle (Merritt Patterson, Jon Ecker)

Next Stop, Christmas (Lyndsy Fonseca, Chandler Massey, Lea Thomspon, Christopher Lloyd)

Debbie Macomber’s A Mrs. Miracle Christmas (Caroline Rhea, Katilin Doubleday, Steve Lund)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty were at a loss this week—how could Ryan Paevey and Janel Parrish come up with a dud? Why do hardcore Christmas musicals even exist? Who green lighted these movies? Thankfully, yet another “You’ve Got Mail” remake comes to the rescue and gives us something worth watching. Plus, favorite actors make a fantastic comeback.

Christmas Sail (Katee Sackhoff, Patrick Sabongui)

Christmas in Harmony (Ashleigh Murray, Loretta Devine, Michelle Williams, Luke James)

Coyote Creek Christmas (Janel Parrish, Ryan Paevey)

The Christmas Promise (Torrey DeVitto, Dylan Bruce)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Ho ho ho! Chinggay and Patty start Season 2 of BMIH’s holiday festivities with many mistletoe misses and one movie that actually sleighed. For interracial freshness, an investigation into “where haven’t we seen Luke Macfarlane,” plus waxing poetic on Paul Campbell’s snazzy new swagger, give our BMIH Christmas launch a listen.

You, Me & the Christmas Trees (Danica McKellar, Benjamin Ayres)

The Santa StakeouT (Tamera Mowry-Housley, Paul Campbell)

Christmas in My Heart (Heather Hemmens, Luke Macfarlane)

Boyfriends of Christmas Past (Catherine Haena Kim, Raymond Ablack)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty soldier through three duds and end with a rewarding 10/10 movie directed by Corey Sevier, newest inductee to the But Make It Hallmark Hall of Fame. We walk you through problematic casting, perfect pairs with imperfect plots, and actors we love who give us a bad case of friendzone sibling energy. Rachel Skarsten steals the spotlight with her wackiest, zaniest performance yet.

• This Time Each Year (Allison Sweeney, Niall Matter)
• Operation Nutcracker (Ashley Newsborough, Christopher Russell)
• The 5-Year Party (Katie Findlay, Jordan Fisher)
• The Christmas Charade (Rachel Skarsten, Corey Sevier)

Thanks to ⁠Pietro Lazatin⁠ for our music and ⁠Paola Lazatin⁠ for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: ⁠@makeithallmark⁠ and on Instagram: ⁠@butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty call it—this is Chesapeake Shores’ best season yet. Every character from Grandma Nell to all of Abby’s and Bree’s love interests get a well-earned shoutout in this comprehensive breakdown. Plus, F*ck Marry Kill, Chesapeake Shores edition.

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty are so floored by fall, they actually deign to recommend their usual Hallmark nitpicks: “believable” time travel, country music cha-cha-chas, and divorced exes riding horses together. The most notable stars of this season, however, bring spicy Argentinian and Cuban flavors to a slowly evolving HCU. Bring out the wine and the ropa pie, and cheers to fall!

Love Strikes Twice (Katie Findlay, Wyatt Nash, and Marshall Williams)

Roadhouse Romance (Lauren Alaina and Tyler Hynes)

Advice to Love By (Erinn Westbrook and Brooks Darnell)

Raise a Glass to Love (Laura Osnes and Juan Pablo Di Pace)

South Beach Love (Taylor Cole and William Levy)

Taking the Reins (Nikki DeLoach and Scott Porter)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty speculate on the upcoming holiday movies, since Hallmark failed to give us any info on what to expect. Also included, the folks we’re missing this year, and the folks + movies we wish we didn’t have to watch. Brace yourselves for some BMIH snark.

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty take a stab at even more summer movies — going meta with tv-themed storylines, embarking on yet another adventure in search of wildlife and waterfalls, and finally finding justice for Wes Brown.

Before ditching your sunnies for pumpkin spice lattes, listen to the detailed dissection of Andrew Walker’s impeccable Hallmark-copyrighted talent.

Sealed with a Kiss: Wedding March 6 (Josie Bissett, Jack Wagner)

A Little Daytime Drama (Jen Lilley, Ryan Paevey)

Love, For Real (Chloe Bridges, Taiana Tully, Scott Michael Foster, Corbin Bleu)

Journey of my Heart (Rhiannon Fish, Darien Martin)

Sweet Pecan Summer (Christine Ko, Wes Brown)

The 27-Hour Day (Autumn Reeser, Andrew Walker)

Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art

Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark