Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

You’ve tried explaining yourself. You’ve tried having the conversation. But what happens when nothing changes, no matter how carefully you say it? When you’ve spent so long questioning yourself, it can be difficult to trust your own judgment about what’s happening. If you’re struggling to make sense of your relationship, take my free Toxic or Troubled? survey to gain some clarity and explore your next steps. https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/toxic-troubled-survey Have you ever confronted a narcissist about something truly hurtful and watched it vanish in seconds? A flicker of discomfort, then a reset, as if it never happened? In this episode, Kerry and psychotherapist Lynn Strathdee take on the question listeners ask most: can a narcissist change? They explore why owning the problem is the real dividing line, the debate over shame versus humiliation, and what happens inside a disordered personality the moment it’s challenged. WANT TO GO DEEPER? In the exclusive podcast extra, Kerry and Lynn get honest about the promise that keeps so many people stuck: “I’ll change for you.” Learn why desperate promises to change vanish the moment the relationship feels secure again. Get immediate access to this and 100+ premium interviews when you become a Substack paid subscriber today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism and narcissistic abuse recovery, and former educator helping adults reclaim identity after chronic antagonism. WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/ 00:00 What happens inside a narcissist when you confront them 00:39 Can a personality disorder ever change? 02:56 Born with the tools: the wagon story 04:29 Why they won't own the problem 06:18 Do narcissists feel shame or humiliation? 07:43 Not enough of a "me" to change 10:30 Why real growth means sitting with discomfort 13:13 They reset right in front of you 16:56 Two years asking "can he change?" 18:59 How he faked change to keep me calm 22:22 Why victims get duped 24:41 Coming up in the Podcast Extra #Narcissist #NarcissisticAbuse #CanNarcissistsChange #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #CovertNarcissist #Gaslighting #EmotionalAbuse #ToxicRelationships #HealingAfterNarcissisticAbuse Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Reactive abuse isn't a sign you've become the abusive one. It's the predictable end of a setup: months of provocation, timed for the moment you finally break.  In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she takes on the night so many survivors never tell anyone about. When you, as the survivor, lost it. She also explains why the better question isn't "What's wrong with me?" but "What was being done to me?" In this episode, learn: • The four questions that reveal who in the room was actually the dangerous one • Why they bait you into reacting, then use it to tell everyone how unstable you are • How exhaustion, deprivation and constant provocation wear down anyone's self-control • Gray rock vs. yellow rock, and why snark is still engagement • "Is this an old feeling or a new feeling?" — the question that steadies you in the moment 00:00 The night you don't tell anyone about 01:59 Screaming in the shower 04:02 What the teacher never saw 05:58 Question 1: Whose arousal went up? 09:57 Question 2: Did your distress slow them down or speed them up? 12:41 Question 3: Was there repair afterward? 14:29 Why you finally broke 19:10 Question 4: Who ended up apologizing? 20:14 Gray rock vs. yellow rock: stop feeding the provocation 24:06 Is this an old feeling or a new feeling? #ReactiveAbuse #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #GrayRockMethod #YellowRock #SmearCampaign #EmotionalAbuse #AbusiveRelationship #TraumaRecovery #HealingJourney Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why do smart people stay in toxic relationships long after they see the pattern? It was never weakness — it was conditioning by design. In this episode, Kerry unpacks the hidden mechanics behind the 7-stage trauma-bonding trap — how predators wire dependency, hijack empathy, rewrite reality, and shut down your sense of self. In this episode, learn: 1. Why love bombing is conditioning that creates rapid pseudo-intimacy and makes you feel uniquely seen 2. How predators manufacture dependency by playing the sympathetic victim 3. How devaluation disguised as "helpful advice" slides into gaslighting that rewrites your memory and makes you doubt your feelings 4. Why submission and loss of self leave you centered entirely on keeping them happy while you disappear 5. How intermittent reinforcement re-hooks you right when you're ready to leave  00:00 Why smart people get stuck in trauma bonds 01:19 How Kerry discovered trauma bonding 03:45 Who exploiters target, and why it's you 05:20 Stage 1: Love bombing 06:37 Stage 2: Trust and dependency 11:22 Stage 3: Devaluation 12:18 Stages 4 and 5: Gaslighting and shrinking 13:16 Stage 6: Loss of self, and the cycle restarts 14:15 Why your intelligence works against you 16:47 Why knowing about narcissists doesn't protect you 17:46 Pavlov's dog: how you were conditioned 20:03 Where your real power is #TraumaBonding #LoveBombing #Gaslighting #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #EmotionalAbuse #ToxicRelationship #NarcissistRedFlags #TraumaRecovery #MentalHealth Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Are You Feeling Stuck?Take my FREE “Toxic or Troubled?” survey to discover your relationship type and get instant access to a complete, private mini-course—educational overviews, reflective questions, grounding techniques, and new strategies tailored to your situation.▶ Start here: https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/toxic-troubled-survey —— What if every explanation you offer becomes ammunition? Have you noticed how a narcissist stays one-up without ever having to raise their voiceIn this episode, Kerry and Dr. Les Carter expose the hidden power mechanics that keep you arguing in circles. Many narcissists use the Gotcha Game which flips every conversation into a confrontation because it’s all about power. WANT TO GO DEEPER? In the exclusive podcast extra, Kerry and Les get practical. Learn how to hold your ground, take your exit, and let go of the need to convince them. Get immediate access to this and 100+ premium interviews when you join as a paid Substack subscriber today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuseDR. LES CARTER is the creator of Surviving Narcissism, an author and educator helping survivors build self-trust, healthy boundaries, and stay out of the power trap with a narcissist.WEBSITE: https://survivingnarcissism.tv/#Narcissist #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #Gaslighting #CovertNarcissist #ToxicRelationships #EmotionalAbuse #Boundaries #SelfTrust #MentalHealth Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Future faking hoovering isn't a change of heart. It's a second round of grooming, aimed at exactly what the first round wanted.In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she takes on what's actually happening when someone shows up with flowers, apologies and a raked pile of leaves after months of silence — and why the answer has almost nothing to do with you.In this episode:• Why not being hoovered is a read on what you had left to give• Hoovering is a role vacancy, not a longing• Love bombing and hoovering: one objective, two stages, two sets of tools• Why "pathetic chasing behavior" isn't your flaw — it's how humans are built• The two questions that decode any hoover: what do they need, and why now?#Hoovering #FutureFaking #NarcissisticHoovering #NarcissisticAbuse #LoveBombing #NoContact #EmotionalAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #TraumaRecovery #HealingJourney Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What if naming the disorder never actually got you out? And what if the thing you've been calling proof was really just a way to feel in control?In this episode, Kerry and co-host Lynn Strathdee take on the debate splitting the recovery world right now — one universal predator type, or many distinct subtypes.You can know exactly what someone is and stay anyway. You can't choose your neighbor, your coworker, or the parent sitting next to you at the PTA meeting. Understanding the diagnosis is not the same as being protected from it.Certainty feels like safety — and that's precisely why it's worth questioning.WANT TO GO DEEPER?In the exclusive podcast extra, Kerry and Lynn get practical: learn a technique from Kerry's clinical supervision for reading a person by reading your own reaction to them. Get immediate access to this and 100+ premium interviews when you subscribe today.Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuseLYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change. WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/#NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #DarkTriad #DarkTetrad #Machiavellianism #VulnerableNarcissist #CoerciveControl #ToxicRelationships #EmotionalAbuse #MentalHealth Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Gray divorce isn't a midlife crisis. For a lot of people, it's the end of a con that ran for decades.When researchers ask why people divorce after 50, the top answer from women isn't money or infidelity — it was abuse.In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she takes on why so many people stay in psychologically abusive marriages for 20 or 30 years, and why leaving late isn't a failure of judgment. In this episode:* Why boomers are divorcing at four times the rate of 1990* Why the mask falls on the honeymoon, in pregnancy, or after the baby arrives* The attribution bias that made you call a pattern a mistake* Why every "fresh start" was engineered — and why you weren't foolish, you were fooled* The staircase of escalation: from control to criticism to being told you "just don't think"* Why leaving late is a sign of strength, not weakness#GrayDivorce #CovertNarcissist #CovertNarcissism #NarcissisticAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #Manipulation #TraumaRecovery #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #HealingJourney #MentalHealth Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why did you do things you swore you'd never do, just to get their love back? In this episode, Kerry and researcher Dr. Karen Mitchell unpack why affection from a narcissistic or predatory partner can feel like a drug. It's intense and strategic, and then it's suddenly withdrawn. They also explore who predatory people target:  honest, kind-hearted people. And why recovery can take years. This was never about you being weak. The pull you felt was engineered, and understanding it is how you break free. WANT TO GO DEEPER? In the exclusive podcast extra interview Dr. Mitchell unpacks the hidden mechanics behind spotting human predators. Get immediate access to this and 100+ premium interviews when you subscribe today.Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuseDR. KAREN MITCHELL is a researcher and author of Human Predators, behind the largest global study on predatory behavior and neurological differences outside of prison settings. She advocates for a new framework — 20 attributes and 25 tactics — to identify human predators and expose how they control, isolate, and escape accountability without physical force. Book: Human Predators: Groundbreaking insights into the red flags narcissists, psychopaths and manipulators don't want you to know  Website #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #DarkPsychology #HumanPredator #Psychopath #CoerciveControl #Brainwashing #ToxicRelationships #Gaslighting #MentalHealth Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why did the narcissist’s collapse look so real — curled on the floor, shaking, sweating, begging you not to leave — yet nothing changed after?What looks like a breakdown is often a temporary loss of status, not a loss of identity — the defensive structure drops for 30 seconds, then rapidly reconsolidates and the manipulation continues. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment.In this episode, Kerry unpacks the hidden mechanics behind narcissistic collapse and what it takes to step out of that role:• Why the dramatic display is often a performance to block abandonment• Why true collapse requires remorse and self-reflection• How the defensive structure drops when challenged, then reframes and re-hardens• Why they demand you affirm they are still good#NarcissisticCollapse #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #EmotionalAbuse #TraumaRecovery #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #MentalHealth #HealingJourney Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What if the reason you feel like you're always “nagging” has nothing to do with you being difficult — and everything to do with deliberate provocation?In this episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy and Lynn Strathdee break down the hidden mechanics behind pathological provocation — why abusers poke, prod, and sabotage your boundaries at bedtime and beyond. How they insist on misunderstanding you, wear you down, and then recast you as the “whining nag” to make themselves the victim. This isn’t about the victim — it’s about the dysfunctional nature of the abuser.Podcast Extra Exclusive SegmentWant to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and learn why owning the traits you don't want people to see in you (your "difficult" side) is actually what protects you from being exploited.Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interviews when you subscribe today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuseBring your questions live — Tuesday 60-min Live Stream (4 PM CDT/5 PM ET) & Wednesday Live Q&A at 11 AM CDT / Noon ET.LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/#NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #TraumaBonding #ToxicRelationships #Gaslighting #MentalHealth Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why did the narcissist’s collapse look so real — curled on the floor, shaking, sweating, begging you not to leave — yet nothing changed after?What looks like a breakdown is often a temporary loss of status, not a loss of identity — the defensive structure drops for 30 seconds, then rapidly reconsolidates and the manipulation continues. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment.In this episode, Kerry unpacks the hidden mechanics behind narcissistic collapse and what it takes to step out of that role:• Why the dramatic display is often a performance to block abandonment• Why true collapse requires remorse and self-reflection• How the defensive structure drops when challenged, then reframes and re-hardens• Why they demand you affirm they are still good#NarcissisticCollapse #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #EmotionalAbuse #TraumaRecovery #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #MentalHealth #HealingJourney Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What if the trait everyone praises you for is the exact one the narcissist is scanning for?That isn’t naivety. That isn’t missing the red flags. Agreeableness — assuming people are honest, wanting harmony, believing no one would be cruel on purpose — is a readable personality profile, and predators read it faster than you can.In this episode, Kerry sits down with therapist and author Chelsey Brooke Cole. Cole married two narcissists — one grandiose, one covert — while practicing as a clinician herself. She breaks down why agreeable people are targeted rather than unlucky, how narcissists game the therapy room while the professionals in it cheer them on, and the chilling answer her husband gave when she asked him what shame actually meant to him.🔒 Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper?Become a Substack paid subscriber and hear Chelsey give you the single question that collapses a gaslighting conversation in real time — the one you ask yourself when you can't tell whether you're being unreasonable or being worked. Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interviews when you subscribe today.Join here.CHELSEY BROOKE COLE is a licensed psychotherapist, Certified Partner Trauma Therapist, and best-selling author of If Only I'd Known! How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth. She specializes in narcissistic abuse and complex trauma, with her work routinely featured in outlets like USA Today, HuffPost, and Psychology Today. She is the host of Restoring Resilience, a podcast dedicated to helping survivors heal and reclaim their lives, and the creator of the program Rewired for Resilience: Reclaiming Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse. Book: If Only I'd Known: How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth Masterclass: The Narcissist Playbook Website #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #CovertNarcissist #BetrayalTrauma #PredatorPsychology #ToxicRelationships Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why does one person in the family end up carrying everything — the blame, the mood, the thing nobody will say out loud? That wasn't a flaw in you. That was a role, and someone cast you in it. Scapegoating is bullying that a family agrees not to stop, and it works because it holds the group together at your expense.This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Kerry breaks down why families choose a scapegoat, why the role follows you into adulthood, and why none of it was ever about you:• Why scapegoating is really bullying — and why a smear campaign is the same dynamic• The four reasons a family picks a scapegoat, including the truth-teller who sees too clearly• What the people who witnessed it learned to do instead of stopping it• Introjection: how you took in a role that was never yours to carry• Why the doubt you feel afterward makes sense — and why it was always about them Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What if it only takes him an hour to know exactly how to control you?That wasn't chemistry. That wasn't "instant connection." A predator ran a background check on your character to know if you had the exact traits he needs to exploit.In this episode, Dr. Kerry sits down with returning author and expert, Don Hennessy. Hennessy has spent decades working directly with abusive men. He breaks down the calculated, deliberate selection process predators use to identify and groom targets. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and hear Hennessy's blunt verdict on whether predators can ever truly change — and the one phrase he says you should never say to an abuser again. Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interviews when you subscribe today.Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuseDON HENNESSY is an author and educator who has spent decades working directly with groups of abusive men to understand the deliberate, calculated psychology behind intimate partner abuse. His work challenges the popular myth that abusers "lose control," arguing instead that their behavior is a conscious strategy — and that recognizing the pattern early is the most effective form of protection.Books:  The Mind of the Intimate Male Abuser : How He Gets into Her Head: The Mind of the Male Intimate Abuser Steps to Freedom: Escaping Intimate Control How He Wins: Abusive Intimate Partners Going Free Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why do you keep replaying a relationship that's already over — running the same five minutes on a loop, searching for the one detail that will finally make sense of it? That wasn't you overthinking. That was your nervous system trying to close a case file that has no ending. You survived a partner who gaslit you and switched faces so that the "true" version of them was never verifiable. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down why narcissistic relationships in particular trigger relentless rumination, and why logic can't stop it: Why the gaslighting-and-Jekyll-and-Hyde split that makes it difficult to verify the truth Why the mental looping can't doesn’t stop The best practical strategy to disrupt the fight-or-flight spiral And how to find closure that will never come from them Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What if the reason they keep coming back to you has nothing to do with love — and everything to do with boredom?  In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Lynn Strathdee break down the internal clock that drives narcissistic relationship cycles. How pathological partners idealize, withdraw, only to circle back. This isn’t about the victim—it’s about the dysfunctional nature of the abuser.   Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment  Want to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and learn why owning the traits you don't want people to see in you (your "difficult" side) is actually what protects you from being exploited.   Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interview with you subscribe today. Join here->https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse  LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.   WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/  Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

They said they'd "never talk to you again" — like it was a boundary. Like it was healthy. But the silence never actually stayed silent. Behind your back, a different story was already being told behind your back. And when you reach out, you’re blocked. This is a smear campaign with a "no contact" mask on. This episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy reads from your stories — real accounts from people who lived through the attack-then-block cycle — to break down what's actually happening when a narcissist "refuses to engage." In this episode: Why narcissists weaponize "I don't argue" as a performance for an audience, not a boundary for you The block-and-smear pattern: how silence toward you becomes a story told behind your back How this tactic exploits your trauma-informed instincts, making distance look like discernment Why survivors are left unable to defend themselves against a narrative they never even heard What documenting and disengaging safely actually looks like — without chasing the last word Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The divorce papers are signed. The marriage is over. But for survivors of narcissistic abuse, the legal system is often where the abuse escalates — not ends.   In this conversation, Kerry McAvoy and Family Law Attorney Diana Romanov decode the legal tactics narcissists weaponize after you leave. How conflict avoidance becomes your abuser’s most powerful legal advantage. Learn how the earliest red flags predict exactly how dangerous the divorce will be.  Exclusive Podcast Extra Segment Want to go deeper? What happens when survivors of narcissistic abuse hire an attorney who mirrors the very dynamic they just escaped?   In this Members-Only segment, Diana reveals why trauma survivors unconsciously gravitate toward legal representation that replicates familiar but toxic relationship dynamics and what it costs them. Learn the most important rarely asked question your attorney should be asking you.  Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access to this exclusive segment today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse  DIANA ROMANOV is a California-certified Family Law Specialist and divorce attorney with over 25 years of experience representing clients in high-conflict and narcissistic abuse cases. As the creator of Divorce Like a Boss, she brings legal precision and hard-won courtroom insight to the realities survivors face when leaving toxic relationships — revealing not just the legal strategy, but the psychological warfare playing out in filings, hearings, and depositions.   YOUTUBE: Divorce Like a Boss  WEBSITE #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #ToxicRelationships #npd #divorcinganarcissist #postseparationabuse #coercivecontrol #highconflictdivorce Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why does their apology leave you feeling like the one who did something wrong? \ Continuing this week's feed swap, I'm sharing a conversation from Renee Swanson's Covert Narcissism Podcast — this time a guest interview with Dr. Anthony Mazzella, a psychodynamic therapist and host of The Narcissism Decoder.  Together they get underneath the behavior to the "why," unpacking what they call the illusion of empathy: the moment an apology looks like remorse but is really about image control.  A note: this is part of an ongoing series on guilt and shame, so you'll hear Renee and Dr. Mazzella reference earlier conversations and tease the next one — you can follow the whole thread on Renee's feed.  Be gentle with yourself as you listen, and reach out to a trusted person or support resource if any of it hits close to home.  Find more of Renee's work and her coaching at covertnarcissism.com. Follow Renee: TikTok I YouTube I Facebook I Instagram I Website Listen to the Podcast: Bleav Network - On All Platforms #covertnarcissism #gaslighting #Narcissism #npd  Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

They said they were managing the finances — because you weren't good with money. That every purchase had to go through them. But somehow, there was always money for what they wanted. They made you feel like a child asking for an allowance — in your own home. And the moment you tried to leave, you realized you had nothing. Because they had made sure of it. That wasn't financial stress. That was financial control. This Thursday episode, Kerry reads from real accounts from people who lived inside financially controlling relationships. Learn what the 'broke' narcissist tactic looks like from the inside. In this episode: Why narcissists use money as a tool of surveillance and control The 'broke' performance: how narcissists claim poverty while draining your resources How financial abuse creates a dependency trap designed to make leaving feel impossible Why survivors so often exit these relationships starting over — in debt, isolated, and exhausted What financial recovery really requires Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

He checked the grocery receipt. And the look on his face said everything: he expected to catch you at something.  You weren't a partner. You were a suspected thief.  But that moment — that first time money became a surveillance tool — didn't come out of nowhere. It didn't start with the receipts, or the interrogations, or the separate account he opened without telling you.  It started the moment he made you feel like the luckiest person alive. Because that feeling — of being chosen, adored, and completely seen — was the setup for everything that came after.  This week, Kerry sits down with clinical co-host and  UK psychologist Lynn S. to break down exactly how narcissists use love bombing to lay the groundwork for financial control —  and why so many survivors don't recognize the trap until they're already inside it.  In this episode:  Why money is never just money in a narcissistic relationship  The "eating off my plate" impulse: the primitive threat response that drives financial control  How love bombing creates the emotional dependency that makes financial control feel normal — even deserved  The "empty jar" framework: why giving second chances too early is one of the most dangerous mistakes in new relationships.  Want to go deeper?  For the Podcast Extra interview:  Paid Substack subscribers get exclusive access to Kerry and Lynn's full conversation on "sitting in the grey" — the psychological skill narcissists systematically destroy, and why rebuilding your capacity to trust your own inner compass requires something most survivors never think to look for. 🔒 Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse  LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.   Website Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

They said they were managing the finances — because you weren't good with money. That every purchase had to go through them.  But somehow, there was always money for what they wanted. They made you feel like a child asking for an allowance — in your own home. And the moment you tried to leave, you realized you had nothing. Because they had made sure of it.  That wasn't financial stress. That was financial control.  This Thursday episode, Kerry  reads from your stories — real accounts from people who lived inside financially controlling relationships — to break down what financial abuse actually is and what the 'broke' narcissist tactic looks like from the inside.  In this episode:  Why narcissists use money as a tool of surveillance and control  The 'broke' performance: how narcissists claim poverty while draining your resources  How financial abuse creates a dependency trap designed to make leaving feel impossible  Why survivors so often exit these relationships having to start over in debt, isolated, and exhausted  What financial recovery really requires Key Moments: 00:00 — Caught in the middle: the child who can't take sides02:05 — "My worst enemy, but also my best friend": love with conditions03:39 — When the sensitive child becomes the target05:07 — The gaze that builds a self — and the one that breaks it06:36 — "I never said that": memory gaslighting and siblings who stop speaking08:55 — Protecting your kids: hypervigilance, loyalty binds, and staying regulated Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Your child comes home from a visit with the other parent guarded. Repeating things they couldn't have come up with on their own. Now they’re looking at you differently.  That's not just "divorce being hard." That's a smear campaign — and your narcissistic ex has recruited your own children to run it.  This week, Dr. Josh Davis — neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of The Difference That Makes a Difference — joins Kerry McAvoy to break down exactly how narcissistic exes weaponize children in their smear campaigns, and what you can do to protect your relationship with your kids without playing the narcissist's game.  In this episode:   Why narcissistic exes target children in their smear campaigns and what they're really trying to accomplish   The 3 signs your child is being used as a messenger or weapon against you   How to respond when your child repeats the narcissist's narrative  The one mistake most co-parents make that actually deepens the alienation  Exclusive Podcast Extra Segment Want to go deeper?  Paid Substack subscribers get exclusive access to Dr. Davis's most powerful technique — a simple mental shift that lets you step outside the chaos of a difficult co-parenting moment, see it clearly, and stop reacting  🔒 Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse  DR. JOSH DAVIS is a neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of The Difference That Makes a Difference. His work helps parents build stronger connections with their children using tools from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and neuroscience. Website Book: The Difference That Makes the Difference: NLP and the Science of Positive Change Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

If you can name the patterns and see the behaviors, have you wondered why do you still feel so stuck? This week I'm sharing an episode from Renee Swanson of the Covert Narcissism Podcast — a feed swap I wanted to bring straight to this community. Renee unpacks what she calls "hitting the wall": the moment you can no longer live the lie in a covert narcissistic relationship, when you can't keep pretending that you're fine, that your family is fine, when it simply isn't. Renee Swanson, the host, walks through the two paths that lead there — the slow erosion that wears you down mentally, emotionally, and physically, and the sudden crack that changes everything in an instant — and what actually happens inside you when you reach that point: the numbness, the strange relief, the self-doubt. Then she gets practical about the conversation itself: what you're really trying to do when you name your reality out loud, the responses to expect (DARVO, minimizing, tears, an eerie calm), and how to stay grounded when it goes sideways. If any of this is your life right now, please be gentle with yourself as you listen — and reach out to a trusted person or a domestic-abuse resource if you need support. Find more of Renee's work and her coaching at covertnarcissism.com. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Food shouldn't feel like a threat — but for narcissistic abuse survivors, it often does. In this viewer stories episode, survivors share exactly how the narcissist in their life weaponized food — turning meals into rituals of control, criticism, and shame. Kerry shares her own experience too. If mealtime ever filled you with dread, this episode will name what you lived through and show you why it happened. In this episode:• The specific tactics narcissists use to weaponize food• Why this coercive control tactic is so hard to identify• How emotional abuse through food leaves lasting shame, body image wounds, and even eating disorders• 3 concrete steps to begin reclaiming your relationship with food after narcissistic abuse. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Food is the most primal human need — and narcissists know it. The demands that ruin a vacation. The meal that is never made right. The praise given once, then withheld forever. These are calculated moves in a much larger control strategy. In this conversation, Kerry McAvoy and co-host Lynn S. decode the psychology behind narcissistic food control: why it is never actually about the food, how narcissists exploit your deepest vulnerabilities through something as basic as sustenance, and why recognizing this pattern is the first step toward disengaging from a dynamic designed to make you feel perpetually inadequate. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper? In this Members-Only episode — Lynn and Dr. Kerry unpack what happens after the recognition and why healing from food-based control takes longer than most expect. Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change. WEBSITE Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

That flash of something is wrong you couldn't quite explain? Your body caught it before your mind could argue you down. In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy reacts to a so-called "prank" a husband pulled on his wife — secretly serving her breast milk in their guests' coffee, then bringing her breakfast in bed: toast smeared with their newborn's poop in place of peanut butter. The wife wondered if she was overreacting. Too sensitive. Unable to take a joke. This is everyday sadism — cruelty dressed up as humor — and it runs on the same engine as narcissistic abuse and gaslighting: make you doubt what you felt, and you'll never confront what they did. That's the trap. Everyday sadism doesn't hide in the shadows. Your own decency blinds you, because you can't imagine someone who claims to love you could be this callous. So instead of confronting the person who hurt you, you turn on yourself — convinced you must have gotten it wrong. That self-doubt isn't a side effect. It's the point. In this episode:  What everyday sadism and sadistic behavior actually look like Why your body registers danger before your mind can rationalize it away The exact mechanics of how cruelty disguised as humor enables gaslighting and coercive control in narcissistic abuse Why survivors are conditioned to question their own reactions and not their abuser's For more on everyday sadism, be sure to check out Dr. Kerry’s interview with Joe Navarro. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The most dangerous narcissists don’t go ballistic: they peck you to death. After spending decades studying dangerous personalities, former FBI agent Joe Navarro has learned that the cruelest narcissistic abuse almost never looks the way we expect.  It hides behind the withheld compliment, the public put-down disguised as a joke, the silent treatment and the affection that never comes. In this conversation, Joe and Dr. Kerry McAvoy name the covert sadism living inside everyday relationships with a narcissist, and why it leaves lasting damage. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper?  In this Members-Only Interview — Joe walks through the practical steps to breaking free. Learn exactly the first step on how to get started. Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here. JOE NAVARRO, a former FBI agent and one of the world's foremost authorities on reading human behavior, has spent his life learning to spot dangerous people before the rest of us see them coming. Recruited into the FBI at just 23 — one of the youngest agents ever — Joe spent 25 years in counterintelligence and counterterrorism, catching spies by decoding the nonverbal signals most people miss, and went on to train both FBI agents and the wider intelligence community in the science he helped refine. Since retiring from the Bureau in 2003, he has become a sought-after speaker, consultant, and author — including the landmark Dangerous Personalities — helping people everywhere recognize the predators hiding in plain sight. Website Navarro Dangerous Personality Inventory Latest Book: Mastering Connections, and the digital Navarro Dangerous Personality Inventory Dangerous Personalities: An FBI Profiler Shows You How to Identify and Protect Yourself from Harmful People Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

It's your special day. Your birthday. Maybe the narcissist participated in the build-out or maybe they pretended not to notice. But you knew. And you got your hopes up. Perhaps this birthday will go differently. What you didn't expect was to spend the rest of your birthday managing their feelings.In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry shares submitted accounts of birthdays that ended in tears, anniversaries engineered to fail, and being asked to comfort the person who hurt you. This is the Thursday companion to Monday's episode, "Why Narcissists Destroy Your Best Days — It's Not Forgetfulness, It's Sadism," with psychotherapist Lynn Strathdee Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The ruined birthday. The wrecked anniversary. The gift left in a drawer. It wasn't thoughtlessness. Dr. Kerry sits down with psychodynamic psychotherapist Lynn Strathdee to break down one of the most painful — and least-named — patterns in narcissistic relationships: the deliberate destruction of special occasions. Lynn identifies the core drive as pleasure at being the cause — a compulsion rooted in early development that, in character-disordered adults, becomes a form of covert manipulation. Your emotional pain isn't collateral damage. For a narcissist, it's the reward. In this episode: Why narcissists specifically target birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries The "pleasure at being the cause" drive — and how it escalates on your best days Dry begging: the manipulation tactic hiding in plain sight How devaluation becomes a source of narcissistic supply Why you kept making excuses — and what this pattern reveals about NPD Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment If the sabotage only makes sense in hindsight — can you learn to see it in real time? Kerry and Lynn unpack the quieter signal most survivors train themselves to override: the "something feels a little off"whisper — and how to turn its volume up without becoming paranoid. Plus: the chat-history article that's been haunting Kerry about an ordinary couple, and what one partner had actually been thinking all along. Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change. WEBSITE Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks the psychological damage done by narcissistic abuse, especially when you’re living with a partner who’s keeping a secret life. Learn how cheaters use gaslighting, lies, and calculated reality distortion to conceal their betrayals. They want to make you question your own mind so completely that you stop listening to your instincts, destroying your self-trust. If you've ever felt like you were going crazy, re-reading old texts to prove to yourself what was real, then you’ve experienced this kind of manipulation. And healing from narcissistic abuse begins when you discover your instincts were right all along. This is the Thursday companion to Monday's interview with therapist Cheryl Camarillo, "Sexual Addiction Looks Nothing Like What You Think" Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Most people imagine they'd recognize a sex addict. But here’s the reality most survivors never realize: you were never meant to see it. Sexual addictive behavior doesn’t look like deception or betrayal; it looks like distance, irritability, or a relationship going cold. You don’t realize you’re with someone who’s living a double life. In this interview, Dr. Kerry sits down with therapist Cheryl Camarillo, who specializes in sexual addiction and toxic relationships. Together they break down the deception architecture a sex addict builds, how narcissistic traits fuel the compartmentalization, and why partners so often blame themselves before they ever suspect the truth. It was never just about hiding an affair or a porn habit. It was about constructing a version of reality that kept you looking inward — at yourself — instead of at what was actually happening. If you've ever felt something was deeply wrong in your relationship but couldn't name it, this episode will give you language for what you experienced. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment  Want to go deeper? In the members-only Podcast Extra, learn the specific behavioral signs you’ll notice first. If you're wondering whether what you experienced was real, this is where you'll find your answer. Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here. CHERYL CAMARILLO, a trauma-informed social worker demystifies the complexities of deep-seated trauma and offers a compassionate, real-world roadmap for individuals and families navigating life's heaviest struggles. As a social worker, consultant, and adoptive mother, Cheryl has spent decades on the front lines of human resilience. She brings her vast expertise to two critical, modern battlegrounds: sex therapy and sex addiction/partner betrayal trauma. Website Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Abuse is something we imagine happens behind closed doors. For a lot of survivors, some of the most frightening moments happened not just in the home but in the passenger seat of a moving car. In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry pulls directly from your comments and unpacks what each one reveals about how narcissists weaponize the car. It was never about losing the narcissist losing their temper. It was about control. And if you've ever braced yourself just getting into the car with someone, you weren't imagining it. This is the Thursday companion to Monday's episode with co-host Lynn Strathdee, "Road Rage & Other Terrifying Ways Narcissists Use Cars to Intimidate You." To go deeper into what to actually do when you can't leave yet, be sure to check out the members-only Podcast Extra covers exactly that. Here's the link. Have a story of your own? Share by contacting Dr. Kerry at clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

If you've ridden in a car with a narcissist, then you've likely experienced them using their driving to intimidate, threaten, or scare you. People with narcissistic traits often use vehicles like a weapon, turning you into more of a hostage instead of a passenger. This week, Dr. Kerry and co-host Lynn break down why road rage and narcissism frequently co-occur and how the car gets used for far more than just driving, i If you've survived narcissistic abuse, want to watch the part we couldn't fit into the main episode? Become a paid Substack subscriber and learn: What to actually do if you're experiencing narcissistic abuse but you can't leave yet Why "how do I make them stop?" is the wrong first question, Why grey rock can backfire behind the wheel And the dangerous assumption nearly every survivor makes about their own safety. Become a paid subscriber here and unlock your access today! LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change. Website Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Narcissistic abuse doesn't just affect your mind — it gets stored in the mind-body connection. Do you have the kind of chronic pain no doctor can explain? Does it get worse the harder you try to fix it? Are you bracing, clenching, and shutting down without knowing what's wrong? In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks how narcissistic abuse gets stored in the body, not just the mind. Want to learn more about healing from narcissistic abuse, check out Monday’s episode with Liz Tenuto, The Workout Witch. Watch it here: https://youtu.be/gM9h4GjITpc?si=BxsgI-eUXsrZzTuA Have a story or realization you'd like Dr. Kerry to take on air? Send it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What if the chronic pain, the exhaustion, and the sleepless nights aren’t because of stress, or you’re getting older, but because your body keeping the score of narcissistic abuse?  In this episode, Dr. Kerry sits down with somatic healing expert Liz Tenuto, as known The Workout Witch, to explored one of the most overlooked truths: abuse doesn't just impact your mind; it affects your body.  Learn why survivors get trapped in a constant state of fight-or-flight and the surprising reason that talk therapy and EMDR alone often aren't enough to finally heal.  PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT   Ready to go deeper? 🔹 Think the abuse never touched you physically? Find out the truth.  In this members-only bonus, Liz walks Dr. Kerry through a simple body self-assessment to learn if you’re storing trauma. Learn the early warning signs before they turn chronic.  Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse   LIZ TENUTO (known to her millions of followers as The Workout Witch) demystifies somatic healing and offers a compassionate, science-backed roadmap for anyone struggling with the physical aftermath of stress and trauma. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and an abusive marriage, Liz spent years battling chronic pain, anxiety, and insomnia. She cycled through countless healing trends before discovering the life- changing power of somatics. Today, Liz is a trauma informed practitioner with a degree in psychology, 15 years of teaching experience, and advanced training in somatic movement through Pilates, Reiki, and 6 years of Feldenkrais mentorship with Augusta Moore.  Website Book: When the Body Speaks: How Somatic Healing Sets You Free Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why has the person who claimed to love you gone years without once saying your name — not even once? When a narcissist won't say your name, it isn't a quirk. It's name erasure: a slow, deliberate way of treating you as less than a full person. In this Viewers' Stories episode, Dr. Kerry reads real survivor stories and unpacks four ways the same tactic shows up. Each one is a covert control tactic, and together they're a form of withholding affection most survivors don't recognize as emotional abuse until much later.  You'll learn how to read what someone's use of your name reveals about how they actually see you, and why these small omissions add up to something far bigger than rudeness. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What if the sweet pet name your partner calls you isn't affection at all — but rather designed to keep you off balance?  In this episode, Dr. Kerry and co-host Lynn Strathdee unpack one of the strangest and most overlooked patterns in narcissistic relationships: the use of pet names.   Learn why some narcissists even speak about themselves in the third person, and the chilling moment when a "compliment" reveals exactly what they really think of you. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper?  🔹 What does it actually take to heal when the abuse has shaped how you see yourself? In this members-only bonus, Lynn and Dr. Kerry discuss why recovery requires building a stronger sense of self.   Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here.   LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.  WEBSITE Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Were you brainwashed to stay — and didn't even know it?  A cult doesn't need a compound, robes, or a manifesto. All it needs is two people: one who sets the rules and one who lives by them.   Dr. Kerry reads your most powerful wake-up moments — from the woman who recognized every cult trait laid down in the first three months of a nine-year relationship, to the viewer who grew up in a home where productivity meant safety, to the one who finally had a word for what she'd survived: brainwashed.  This isn't about missing the signs. It's about a system that was designed to make coercive control feel like love, devotion, and belonging. Have you been struggling to leave? Stop asking why you didn't see it sooner. Start asking if you were trained not to.  📩 Want Dr. Kerry to read your story on air?  Email your question to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Were you born into a cult — or did you unknowingly marry one?  If you've ever felt trapped, controlled, and unable to trust your own reality — whether in a religion, a family system, or a relationship — you may have been living inside a cult of two.  Narcissistic abuse operates through the same coercive control and psychological manipulation that keep cult members from ever questioning their reality.  Brooke Deanne, trauma healing mentor and author of Shattered, Broken and Beautiful, joins Dr. Kerry to share her remarkable survivor's story: 36 years inside a high-control religious cult, followed by 17 years married to a narcissist. Discover the chilling similarities between coercive control in relationships and cult indoctrination that make narcissistic abuse so hard to name.  Coercive control doesn't always look like abuse — sometimes it looks like devotion, duty, and belonging.  PODCAST EXTRA — EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT   Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse   🔹 If you've been in a narcissistic relationship, how do you finally release the shame? In this members-only bonus, discover Brooke Deanna’s full healing steps. BROOKE DEANNE is a Trauma Healing Mentor, Rapid Transformational Therapist (RTT), and NLP Practitioner empowering female survivors of abuse and trauma to reclaim their lives by rewriting their stories via a holistic approach to access new levels of mind, body, and spirit integration. After overcoming her history of abuse as an ex-Jehovah’s Witness and toxic relationships, Brooke brings profound insight to her work as an advocate against religious abuse and domestic violence.  Website  Books: Shattered, Broken, & Beautiful - Losing My Religion and Finding Faith Children’s Book: The Grief Monster Podcast: The Cult Diaries Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why can you spot every red flag, name every tactic, and still find yourself in another toxic relationship?  A commenter recently wrote that she had been raised by three narcissists, married to one, dated another for five years, recently lost a friendship to one, and a former partner just resurfaced. She wrapped up by saying “the law of averages can't explain it. So what can?”  In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks why insight alone never sets survivors free. Submit Your Question  If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Nobody taught us what a healthy relationship should feel like. Not in school. Not in graduate training. Not in the culture we grew up in.   And that missing lesson? It's costing survivors years of confusion, repeat heartbreak, and an obsession with understanding the very people who harmed them.  This week marks a major shift for Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse. After a year of flying solo, Dr. Kerry welcomes Lynn Strathdee as her new co-host — a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist, echoism specialist, and survivor whose path to this work mirrors so many of yours.  Inside this episode: How Kerry and Lynn met through echoism — and why their shared focus on the survivor's inner world changes everything   How free, violent porn rewired intimacy into rage   The Predator's Playbook: cobras, pit bulls, and the deliberate targeting of survivors  (Get your copy of the Predator's A-Z Playbook here!) Why you can't stop talking about the abuser  🔹 PODCAST EXTRA — MEMBERS-ONLY BONUS SEGMENT  Why does studying the abuser feel productive but actually keep you stuck?  In this exclusive bonus, Lynn and Dr. Kerry break down the difference between understanding your abuser and healing from them — and the one shift that moves you from analysis to recovery.  Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse   LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.  Lynn’s Website Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Have you heard of an Alpine Divorce? During a listener’s two-year marriage to a psychopath, her husband took her hiking and then left her clinging to a rock in gale-force winds while he filmed her terror and laughed. This is what’s commonly called an "Alpine Divorce." It is also an example of malignant sadism.In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks one of the most chilling tactics in a dangerous personality's playbook. Learn how some abusers engineer life-threatening situations to trap their victims in forced dependency. Also, learn how environmental gaslighting (the weaponized use of weather, terrain, and wilderness) gives these dangerous individuals plausible deniability. If you or someone you know has experienced this:  ▸ Be sure to preserve the photos and videos as digital evidence of criminal behavior  ▸ Consider seeking out a CPTSD-specialized clinician  ▸ And the only safe path is total severance   Submit Your Question  If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link.  Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

As we honor Memorial Day, there's another war, something that rages invisible, deliberate, and inside the most intimate relationships. This episode is dedicated to you.In this special compilation,  5 world-class experts answer the questions survivors ask most: How did I end up here? Why didn't I see it coming? And why was I the one chosen?Discover how narcissists and dangerous personalities identify, groom, and trap their targets — and why your kindness, not your weakness, made you vulnerable to narcissistic abuse.Enjoy a full complimentary Substack newsletter this week.EXPERTS FEATURED• Joe Navarro — Former FBI Special Agent & Author (Dangerous Personalities)• Dr. Peter Salerno — Psychologist & Author• Don Hennessy — Irish Psychotherapist & Author (How He Gets Into Her Head)• Dr. Leslie Dobson — Clinical & Forensic Psychologist• Dr. Peter Favaro — Forensic Psychologist & Author#NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissistRecovery #EmotionalAbuse #CPTSD #DangerousPersonalities #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #Narcissism #ToxicRelationship Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

A listener from Texas writes in: after escaping a narcissistic marriage, her adult daughter is now demanding that she admit that she was an abuser too.  How does she reach her daughter now?  In this episode, Dr Kerry unpacks one of the most painful and least-talked-about consequences of narcissistic abuse — what happens to your children when you stay. How do you hold two devastating truths at the same time: you were a victim, and your child was hurt by your inability to leave? Submit Your Question  If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Did you experience childhood neglect? If you keep repeating painful patterns in your relationships — choosing wrong partners, feeling invisible, never asking for what you need — this might be why.Dr. Rachna Buxani, author of "Unseen," joins Dr. Kerry to expose the hidden roles children are assigned in narcissistic family systems — and the lasting damage those roles leave behind in every relationship you'll ever have.Childhoos neglect doesn’t stay in childhood — it follows you.PODCAST EXTRA — EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT🔹 Were you the invisible child — and do you even know it yet?Find Dr. Buxani's specific, practical steps for healing from childhood narcissistic abuse in the members-only bonus segment and weekly newsletter.DR. RACHNA BUXANI-MIRPURI is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and National Certified Counselor with over 23 years of experience across the United States, Dubai, and the Cayman Islands. Known for her compassionate, culturally sensitive approach, she specializes in trauma, family dysfunction, and identity development. She is the founder of Buxani Counseling Care in Miami, a mental health advocate, and a board member of NAMI Miami-Dade. Her work extends to prisons, schools, and underserved communities, reflecting her deep commitment to accessible, inclusive care. BOOK: UNSEEN: A Therapist’s Reflection on a Daughter’s Journey Through a Narcissistic Father’s Shadow Website Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

A YouTube viewer asks: What about someone's makeup drives them to snoop instead of simply addressing the red flags?In this episode, Dr. Kerry digs deeper into a question raised in the February 19, 2026, Fan Mail segment, Feeling the Urge to Snoop on Your Partner? Here's What It's Really Telling You. Learn why victims of narcissistic abuse feel compelled to hunt for proof and why it never brings the relief you're looking for.Submit Your Question  If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Are you bracing for impact when your phone buzzes? Does every conversation turn into a nasty fight? This week, Sol Kennedy joins Dr. Kerry to reveal why co-parenting is never get better when dealing with a narcissistic or an emotionally immature co-parent.  Learn why courts don't understand narcissistic co-parents will never become reasonable and why most co-parenting apps only make the conflict worse. Sol Kennedy shares how to take back control by changing the entire dynamic.  List of the latest AI Tools for Narcissistic Abuse survivors PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT   Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse  🔹 You can divorce a spouse — but you can't quit your co-parent.  In this members-only bonus, Sol Kennedy goes deeper on how to set firm limits on when and how often your ex can reach you.  SOL KENNEDY is a technology entrepreneur and co-parenting advocate who built the first AI-powered co-parenting app after navigating his own high-conflict divorce. BestInterest has earned the backing of renowned narcissism expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula and is now used by co-parents, family law professionals, and therapists across the U.S. and Canada. Sol also hosts the podcast Co-Parenting Beyond Conflict.  FOLLOW SOL KENNEDY  Website Podcast: Co-Parenting Beyond Conflict Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What happens when a simple, healthy boundary triggers five years of stalking, dismantling your life?  A viewer declined an odd social interaction with a neighbor that then sparked a stalking campaign that has followed her and her 15-year-old daughter across state lines. Learn what’s called "street theater” and how these repeated tactics were ussd to make this victim sound crazy.  In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains:  • Why the public tends to dismiss extreme gang stalking stories • How stalking can be carried out across states and social circles  • How to protect yourself and your sanity if you’re being stalking. Submit Your Question  If you'd like Dr. Kerry to answer your question on air, email it to clients@kerrymcavoyphd.com or use this link. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What happens when the man who spent years love bombing and manipulating women becomes the victim of the very same tactics?This week, Wade Belair joins Dr. Kerry for a raw, unflinching conversation about the shocking overlap between closeted men and narcissistic abuse — and what genuine healing actually requires.Wade grew up the privileged son of an iconic retail brand founder — raised in an elite, hyper-masculine culture where conquest was currency, and vulnerability was weakness. He played the role perfectly for years: closeted, love bombing women, while living a dangerous double life. Now openly gay and two years out of a narcissistic abuse relationship, Wade speaks candidly about what it looks like when repression mimics narcissism and what real change actually requires. PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT   Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse  🔹 Are you dating a man living a double life — and missing all the signs?   In this members-only bonus, Wade and Dr. Kerry break down exactly what to watch for in a man who may be closeted or on the DL, and why the red flags so often get buried under love bombing.  More About Wade:  Instagram Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).