We all know the standard: missionary, doggystyle, woman on top but have you ever heard of these...the Stand and Deliver, the Pearly Gates, the Pretzel? Maybe you're scratching your head right now. We hope you're at least intrigued and ready to join us on this fun, playful episode where we are talking all things sex positions! Inspired by an article in a recent issue of Men's Health by Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of "She Comes First," George and Laurie are introducing listeners to these positions and many more. Our sexpert, Dr. Laurie breaks down how these positions increase pleasure for both partners and can increase the quality of orgasm, lover connection and maybe even some laughter to the bedroom. This is a spicy episode that you'll definitely want to listen to with the lover in your life!  Check out this episode's sponsor and help support the pod! cozyearth.com -- the softest, sexiest lounge wear and sheets! Laurie won't buy any others! Use the code Foreplay at checkout and get 30% off your order!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Male orgasms--seems pretty straightforward right? Think again. Join our experts on today's show to learn all about the male orgasm and how to make it better! George and Laurie take you through some of the mechanics of the male orgasm and introduce listeners to several strategies to increase the time, duration and pleasure of the male 'O'. Did you know that eating more greens and reducing your overall stress will lead to increased sensation during sex? There is so much more going on for men and their bodies than meets the eye. Listen as we explore the erogenous zones to hit, incorporating kegels (yes, kegels) into your routine and how to focus less on performance and more on the overall experience. Open up this conversation about orgasms with your love and how you can help each other get that better, hotter 'O' the next time you hit the sheets. Keep it hot y'all! Check out this episode's special sponsors: RocketMoney.com/Foreplay -- get ahold of you finances! If you have online subscriptions that you're not using, Rocket Money can help find and eliminate those useless expenses! Uberlube.com/foreplay -- Laurie's long-time favorite personal lubricant! Help get your sexy on! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Foreplay listeners, join us today in a 'School of Love' lesson all about the withdrawer's world! Withdrawers are often shutting down, walking away or seeming closed off in the cycle. These moves help them get safe and regulated but are a step in the negative cycle because the pursuing partner is left alone. When we can slow down, and be patient we can help to reveal the vulnerable underbelly of the emotional and sexual withdrawer. In two amazing role plays, hosts Laurie and George display exactly how to get slow, and get curious to learn about the ouch underneath the protective move. Vulnerability is the solution to the negative cycle and so much healing lies in these conversations. Withdrawing partners may often feel like they are messing up, a failure or that something is wrong with them. Pursuing partners may try to help by jumping in to reassure but this would be like diving into the shallow end of a pool. Staying in the deep but being there together is where the change happens. Let us know what notes you take from today's show and as always keep it hot y'all! Please help the podcast by using our great sponsors! ForiaWellness.com/foreplay -- products to help you get and stay aroused! RocketMoney.com -- gain some money back in your budget by having Rocket Money find and cancel your unused subscriptions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here we are at the wedding night. After months, maybe years of planning, the special day is finally here. This episode is about sexpectations on the wedding night. Did you know over 50% of couples don’t have sex on their wedding night? Exhaustion and too many reception cocktails are often the culprit for this miss BUT are engaged couples having conversations about wedding night sexpectations before the big day? Hear George and Laurie talk about the importance of having these conversations and negotiating together what your idea of wedding night sex looks like. You may want to take stress off yourselves and save sex for the honeymoon, you may want to explore what your B.E.S.T sex looks like. Either way, we hope couples will reduce pressure to get it perfect on their wedding night. When we make these implicit conversations explicit, we can avoid disappointment and resentment taking space in what is otherwise a joyous union. Healthy sex conversations to help you keep it hot, right from the start! Check out our sponsors! Uberlube is the best lubricant on the market! Laurie has been recommending it to her clients for over 20 years. Order at uberlube.com with the code foreplay! Foria has sex oils that enhance a woman's orgasm! The reports from Laurie's clients give Foria's products 5 stars. Go to Foria for 20% off at foriawellness.com/FOREPLAY or use code FOREPLAY at checkout to receive 20% off your order.  Green Chef overs tasty and healthy meals for all the different lifestyles: Keto, Paleo, diet, etc. Great meals that are easy to prepare. Saves time that you can use for sex! Go to GreenChef.com/foreplay135 for $135 off your first 5 boxes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Am I too much? Will I always hunger for this connection?" If these are common questions you've asked yourself while stuck in a negative cycle with your partner you may be a sexual pursuer. Join George and Laurie in today's episode where they discuss new ways sexual pursuers can communicate their needs in Stage--2 of EFT. In Stage 2 the couple is aware of their negative cycle and understanding of the good reasons they have been missing each other. Stage 2 is the creation of a positive cycle that is focused on understanding, connection and expression of needs. The work of the sexual pursuer in Stage 2 is to soften the expression of those needs--rather than using criticism to express the felt rejection, working towards expressing with vulnerability. George and Lauri's role play will provide reassurance that new conversations and getting needs met are possible as couples are working together against the cycle in a new cycle that fosters closeness and connection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've discussed the negative sexual cycle couples get stuck in and highlight just how important it is to name and tame it. As EFT therapists we know that de-escalating the cycle is the first step in moving partners from fighting one another to fighting the cycle together. In today's episode we are talking about Stage 2 in EFT and the creation of a new, positive cycle. [Insert episode link] In stage two, the cycle is de-escalated, partners feel more on the same team and there is safety to begin exploring and expressing needs and longings to your partner. George and Laurie role play the needs a sexual withdrawer might have and the new moves they make to share with their sexual pursurer. In the role play, George comes away with three possible moves for the newly reengaged sexual withdrawer: permission to not be interested in sex tonight, reassurance if they struggle during sex and celebration if they are successful. If you are a sexual withdrawer you definetely want to listen to this episode. And pursuers, we didn't forget you at all! We see how hard you work for the relationship and thank you for your patience. As you hear Laurie say, "Don't tell me to calm down!" We'll be back next week to talk all about pursuers in Stage 2! Don't forget to join us on October 28th at our Great Love, Great Sex virtual couples retreat. Register at www.foreplayrst.com under the resources tab. We can't wait to see you there! Check out our most excellent sponsors! Green Chef -- if you are busy like George and I are, Green Chef is for you! Rather than scrounging for something to eat in the pantry and ending up ordering out for pizza, Green Chef sends you what you need for great, healthy meals. They have vegan, Paleo, and other specialized meals that taste great! Dine like you have your own privat chef. Go to https://www.greenchef.com/Foreplay135 and get $135 off your first 5 boxes and your first box ships free! Uberlube.com -- Uberlube is our preferred lubricant for great sex! It's silicone-based and won't stain, is water-soluable, and is all-around fantastic! OMGYes.com -- Great information about women's pleasure. Science-backed information that is tasteful and helpful! A great resource that gives you language to talk about sex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve talked about the cycle before and we’re talking about it again. This time we explore what EFT calls Stage 2. Why? because after de-escalating conflict there’s more to do to get closer with your partner! Join Laurie and George for this episode to understand how your moves and your partners moves impact one another and the deeper, unseen meanings they have. When we start to understand the good reasons we are missing each other there is opportunity to connect. Does your partner’s criticism represent their hope for the relationship? Does their silence mean they are trying to keep the pressure low? Hear how we flip the script to help you keep it hot!! Hey therapists, do you need help understanding and de-escalating the sexual cycle for your couple clients? We hope you’ll meet us on March 3 & 4th 2023 (date change) for our training on this topic. Check out our great sponsors! Dame Products produces fantastic, innovative vibrators for women! Go to DameProducts.com and use the coupon code 'Foreplay' for 20% off your order! ZocDocs is the place to go on the web to get immediate attention to your medical issues. Go to zocdoc.com/foreplay and download the app. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is your body communicating? During one of our most essential episodes, Laurie and George discuss the value of bringing attention and awareness into our bodies. Emotions show up physically and send out signals. It’s been reported that anger often shows up as a headache, anxiety as tension in the chest and throat, sadness as a caving in sensation, happiness as a whole-body warmth. When partners have more awareness of what shows up physically they increase their ability to slow down in the face of conflict and also connect more with their sexual selves. Bringing the body on board reflects our holistic mission to integrate the mind, heart and body. Try this exercise today to tune into what your body is communicating to you: Sit comfortably, find stillness and recall a time when you felt hurt/shut down/rejected by your partner. Where does that show up on your body? Now recall a time where your partner turned to you during pain/comforted you/expressed how meaningful you are to them. Slow down and notice what is there. Let us know in the comments what you observed. We’re right on this journey with you! Keep it hot and get into the body! Join Laurie and George for their Great Sex, Great Love virtual retreat on October 28th. Partners can expect to learn more about listening to what your body is saying and how to share it with your love! Check out our sponsors: Laurie has been recommending Uberlube to clients for years; long before Foreplay started. It is an awesome lubricant that makes sex better! Use the coupon code 'Foreplay' to receive 10% off your order! Check out our sponsor OMGYES.com for fantastic information about how to get her to climax. Tastefully crafted information that is research-based and rock solid. Visit omgyes.com/foreplay for more information! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The million maybe billion-dollar question: how do we increase low sexual desire in women? Laurie and George discuss what is shutting down sexual desire in women. George gets it right by saying women often put everyone else’s needs ahead of their own. And Laurie discusses their disconnection to their own sexual needs. Click on the link below to hear Laurie and George address blocks to sexual desire and their lifelike roleplay of how this affects a couple’s dynamic. Laurie puts on her therapist hat and the work is pure magic! Sexual withdrawers will feel so validated listening to this episode. Check out our sponsor OMGYES.com for fantastic information about how to get her to climax. Tastefully crafted information that is research-based and rock solid. Visit omgyes.com/foreplay for more information!   Don’t forget to join us on October 28th for our Great Sex, Great Love virtual couples retreat. If your relationship is good but needs some extra attention or you and your partner want to learn how to deepen your sexual connection, we hope to see you there! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listen to a caller who leaves us a message about her husband telling her he thinks she’s too heavy to be attractive. Laurie and George work through their own reaction and anger at this painful message to our listener. We question the narrowness of her partner’s focus on a minimal change (she’s young and fit) as opposed to having a broader view of eroticism that includes her body, her spirit, her heart, and her mind. If you ever wanted to hear George get hot under the collar with pursuer energy and righteous anger.. here’s a good episode. Visit Dame Products for a complete line of excellent and innovative vibrators. Rev up your sex life with Dame! Use the coupon code 'Foreplay' for 15% off your first order! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So many women seem to just give up on sex. Maybe they reach menopause and they’re done with sex. Or maybe well before menopause , she and her partner haven’t gotten through to each other and sex stops. Orif sex continues, she just is unengaged. How can something that feels so good be relegated to such a low/no priority? Here’s why. Females who don’t want to have sex are often stopped in 3 areas: the relationship - especially lack of communication, worry areas – disgust about certain sex acts, poor body image, or fear about not pleasing their partner pleasure – loss of interest when she doesn’t climax or experience pleasure   George and Laurie discuss these areas and role play an initial conversation as a couple talking about her sexual blocks.   Visit ZocDoc.com/FOREPLAY to get the free app in order to find the best doctors, in the specialty you need, with the insurance you have closest to your neighborhood! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In our world with its focus on physical perfection, we all have aspects of our body which we criticize, and even avoid looking at in the mirror. These critical thoughts can intrude before, during, and after sex, diminishing our ability to be in the moment with our partner. We talk through this thorny issue as an example of how to begin to address it with your partner. Check out our sponsor: Uberlube for the best in siilcone-based lubricants! As George says, silicone makes everything is a little bit better. Get 10% off with the coupon code 'foreplay'! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oral sex - you like it. You don’t like it. What works. What doesn’t work. Laurie and George talk about it all. They role play a couple who gets stuck in retaliation - if you don’t go down on me; I won’t go down on you. Then, they demo how a couple might talk to help each other work through their difficulties with oral sex. For a great hands-free vibrator, go to dameproducts.com and use code FOREPLAY today for 15% off site wide. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we’re in distress as a couple, it’s hard to see that our partners protective moves - either criticism or withdrawal - are really ways that they are covering their deeper hurt, pain and vulnerability. But in order not to be lost to each other, first, we need to recognize that we are in a cycle where our partner triggers us and we trigger our partner… over and over. Secondly, we have to allow enough space for our partner to express themselves without expressing our pain at the same time. We have to let them go first. Third, we have to get curious about the deeper meaning of their protective moves. Do they go away because they feel like they’ll never measure up? Do they harp on relational issues because ironically, they want us to have a better relationship? Join George and Laurie today as they work through not just one, but two role plays in both the emotional and s*xual cycle and share with listeners what lies below the surface. To be successful here, listeners are reminded to have an understanding of the moves of their negative cycle and how each partner contributes. This way we can slow down, practice patience and have empathy for one another's vulnerabilities. Learning this process helps lovers meet one another in places where they previously left each other. Interested in working with an EFT couples therapist? Visit www.iceeft.com and head over to our IG @foreplay_sextherapypodcast. Let us know what you want to hear from us next. Keep it hot y'all! Check out our great sponsors! RocketMoney.com -- Stop those unused subscriptions from renewing! Rocket Money does the work for you! Uberlube.com -- Laurie's 20+ year favorite lubricant! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes sex is awesome; sometimes not. This episode shows you how to turn up the heat when it's not! Thanks to our sponsors: BetterHelp.com/Foreplay for 10% off your first month! Uberlube.com - Foreplay rated as the best lubricant! Use the coupon for 10% off! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

She needs more foreplay and he doesn’t wanna lose his erection. Women need a slow patter of arousal to reach the best climax. Men when they’re on sildenafil (viagra, etc.) need to use their erection - soon. This is a familiar dilemma for couples in their 50s. George and Laurie role-play a couple who learns how to talk about this problem. Check out our great sponsors: Foriawellness.com/foreplay or use the code foreplay at checkout for 20% off your first order! These oils help improve your orgasm ladies...You'll thank me later! North Texas EFT -- If you are a psychotherapist, come down to Texas to have face-to-face training time with George and Laurie as they train about sex and attachment. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Libido is shared between the couple. The pursuer afraid of being rejected, almost starts every initiation with an edge of criticism. So the sexual moment starts the partner off without even being given much of a chance at feeling desire. In our case example, she’s not turned on because she hears the edge and then she’s blamed.  On the flip side is a lack of engagement. The withdrawer can nearly erase the whole idea of sex because it’s safer. But unfortunately this sends the purser a message that they don’t care. And send the pursuer the whole responsibility for the sexual relationship. Thanks to our sponsors: Uberlube.com Uberlube.com with the coupon Foreplay for the slipperiest, safest silicone lubricant I've been recommending for 2 decades! For delicious tasting, convenient meals go to GreenChef.com/foreplay135 for the #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well and $135 off the first 5 meals! Delicious! Dameproducts.com and enter code FOREPLAY today for 15% off site for Aer -- the suction vibrator and their hands-free couple toy Eva! Keep it hot baby! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In most of our episodes, we use the emotional and sexual cycles to bring coherence to the issues that plague committed relationships. We wanted to explore and summarize the emotional and sexual cycles in one condensed episode. Many couples feel like they are facing unique, specific troubles, when the reality is, these relational upsets are all manifestations of the underlying sexual and emotional cycles. A clear understanding of how these cycles power your relational upsets provides an avenue for hope and change; rather than dealing with hundreds of different issues, you and your partner can team up to clarify the cycles and understand your partner better.   Please check out our sponsor Foria! Their Awaken Arousal Oil and Intimacy Sex Oil (both with CBD) help relax you and heighten your orgasm and sexual pleasure. Laurie recommends these great products and you can get 20% off your first order by going to Foria’s website and using the coupon code Foreplay.   Attention all therapists! Join Laurie and George in North Texas August 12 & 13 for a 2-day training on integrating sex therapy and attachment theory. We’re tired of Zoom meetings and are so excited to be with colleagues in person to train and have fun! Go to www.northtexaseft.com/upcoming-events or click the link below to find out more. Great Love Great Sex for Couples- Integrating Sex Therapy and Attachment Theory Training for Therapists Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There can be so much disappointment even shame when a couple is in a sexlessness marriage. Couple can tune out and shut down their need for flesh on flesh and over time it gets harder and harder to get back. They don’t know how to repair or even talk about normal failure and so they ignore the failures. This doesn’t happen just with aging. It’s people who resign themselves to not talking about it and both withdraw. George and Laurie talk about how to get back in bed! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Laurie and George define secrets as issues, fantasies or alliances that block connection. We certainly have a right to privacy and sometimes our private erotic thoughts makes our world sexier and makes us more available to our partner. Certainly some people choose and open marriage but they do it with… openness. we think talking about your fantasies or actual affairs with your a partner while incredibly difficult makes it possible for YOU not to be carrying the guilt of a secret that you find unethical and against your promise.  Sponsors: Uberlube -- Go to Uberlube.com with the coupon 'Foreplay' for 10% off! Bluechew - BlueChew.com, promo code Foreplay to receive your first month free! Dame Products -- DameProducts.com with the coupon 'Foreplay' for 15% off! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“I’m just not attracted to you anymore.” - OUCH!!!I Sounds like a showstopper doesn’t it? But Laurie and George have hope for you to get it back. We use our favorite acronym BEST SEX Conversations - to explore why people might lose attraction for the partner they’ve committed to and some ideas about getting it back. We go through the primary areas of sexual attachment from a holistic viewpoint to discover what is causing lack of attraction. Then we offer ways you can feel the gas - how to increase the turn-ons! and then we talk about ways to release the brakes on the things that turn you off. Sponsors: Bluechew.com - promocode FOREPLAY for your first month free Foriawellness.com/foreplay or use the code foreplay at checkout for 20% off your first order,  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Confidence is essential for a great relationship. But how to you grow in confidence if you've lost it or never had much of it? Confidence is the end result of a string of successes. We discuss moves you can make to help yourself -- and your partner -- build their confidence by how you interact, particularly in the difficult conversations. Learn new moves to help you be successful -- and grow your confidence. Check out our sponsors: Blue Chew -- use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get your first month free (with only $5 for shipping)! Manscaped -- the Performance Package 4.0 is here! Great grooming products for 'down under'! Coupon code 'foreplay'. Uberlube -- Our favorite silicon lubricant to make everything smoother! Use coupon code foreplay for a discount! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most of us grew up not talking about sex. But the more detailed you get, the more power you can have to change things. Go play-by-play and have more choice and agency about shaping your experience and connecting with each other. One woman’s grimace during oral sex or another person’s turning of their head during sexual intercourse send messages to their partner that in our example are indeed misinterpreted. Knowing exactly what happens - the detail- helps the couples discover what is really going on. A look, a certain touch, a sigh may turn us on. Or these very same actions can be misinterpreted We can get triggered into the negative cycle. Join Laurie and George as they talk about getting down to the nitty-gritty details when you counsel someone or when you communicate with your partner. Sponsor: BetteHelp.com/FOREPLAY for 10% off your first month of therapy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Everyone wants to feel desired certainly. But the research shows that for women - being desired, hearing their partner's verbal admiration and open "want" - is very important to their turn on. When men are dating they instinctively know how telling their partner how sexy they look, sending flirty messages, giving their partner longing looks - tells her she's hot! George and Laurie talk through the shut down to this process and encourage men to go for it again. #couples #eft #sexpodcast #marriage #desire #secureattachment Sponsor: BetteHelp.com/FOREPLAY for 10% off your first month of therapy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking between the sheets or rather how to break the silence between the sheets. We always say that if you can talk about sex then you can have great sex. But what happens when you don't know what to talk about? Join our hosts today as they bring up how to start a sexy conversation and what to share with your intimate partner. Conversation might start with ideas about romance, foreplay, turn ons and lead to fantasies and more! The art of having these chats enhances your intimate world and deepens the bond that couples share. If you find yourself stuck in a sex rut, this episode can help you break out of the mundane and explore a more playful, fun side of sex with your honey. Keep it hot y'all! Check out our fantastic sponsors (and help support Foreplay!): Foriawellness.com/foreplay -- great massage oils to enhance your erotic times! The code 'foreplay' gets you 20% off your first order! Addyi.com -- an FDA-approved drug for certain premenopausal women with low libido! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Touch is vital for intimate communication. We learn so much with touch - pleasure, safety, exploration and curiosity! So often we don’t put it into words and then we find ourselves in intimate relationship with a partner without really explaining what we need and want. For instance, tickling may be fun and erotic or triggering. There are lots of ways me might miss each other in the conversation but Laurie and George explore people’s reservations and offer ideas of how to communicate about intimate touch better. #EFT #Couples #Marriage #Sex #SexPodcast #SecureSexualAttachment Best Lubricant - Uberlube.com/Foreplay for 10% off! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re talking about good-enough responding - responding to our partner in ways that keep us connected even when we disappoint them. Think about when a withdrawer finally comes forward; while their pursuing partner may long for whatever they’re offering, the same pursuer most likely feels doubt and mistrust about the sincerity of their withdrawing partner or the evidence that this is a start of a change pattern. George is so confident that mistrust is going to be present at this stage - he calls it a natural part of the change process. So of course - the pursuer doesn’t reward their withdrawer with success for initiation and guess what? - the withdrawing partner backs away. Fail. But what if there were a way to find a secondary target, a secondary path to stay connected. George and Laurie discuss how you can target a lesser but important target (other than true responsiveness); you can give permission for you partner’s defensive/protective move - you can let them know it makes sense to you. As hard as it seems to do, validating your partner’s defense actually helps them feel seen by you and keeps you in connection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wanna spice it up? What have you fantasized about doing? It takes vulnerability to tell each other about ideas for novelty and change. Are you willing to risk? Laurie and George talk about how couples choose to spice things up - ways that novelty can be gas petals or brakes for different couples often dividing the couple themselves. Porn, gummies, alcohol, vibrators, handcuffs, feathers, etc… and other toys might add to arousal or block connection! Knowing that you’re gonna have a glass of wine, you’re gonna loosen up, you’re gonna feel less inhibited…. some of it is simply the ritual, the getting ready, looking forward to a bit of change that can create a little fun. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it worth it to accept something that your partner wants to give you sexually instead of holding out for what you really want? Is something better than nothing? Laurie and George use a tried and true EFT principle called "slicing it thinner" - find a way to help your partner get closer to what you want without them losing themselves or feeling compromised. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Would you just love to go for a walk with Laurie and talk about sex? Well, on this episode, L invites all of her girlfriends out there to talk about all the stuff - hacks to conquer menopause, how to use a vibrator and what to do if his erection fails. Join in for some girl talk! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The million dollar question! (for pursuers) how do you get someone to pursue their own pleasure. In our Q&A, Laurie and George see a reader’s point. For so many  reasons it works better when your partner is engaged sexually - they supply desire that fuels the sexual fun, it’s a turn-on to see your partner in uninhibited abandon plus it takes the pressure off from always having to initiate. But there’s a flip side that is often dynamic.      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

  Lovemaking, maintenance sex, icebreaker sex, the 5-minute window, RED HOT sex, and scheduled sex - all have their merits. Compliments of our friends' blog @thehappymarriageau, George and Laurie riff on these six modes of sex - what they're good for, what the drawbacks are and how connected relationships might make use of all of them.   Please follow @thehappymarriageau and us as well on insta @Foreplay_radiosextherapy. And find some fantastic lube at Uberlube.com with 10% off using our coupon "Foreplay." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Keeping connected is easier when we're in green brain - when our brain says we are safe, cared about and even loved - when we can relax, talk, listen with openness.  Red brains are escalated, tense, maybe angry or in total shut down.  Listen to George and Laurie talk about pulling a partner in red brain into the calm connected place where sex and connection can happen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FOREPLAY welcomes Emotionally Focused Therapy, founder Dr. Sue Johnson to talk with us about George's driving and the sexual cycle. We laughed together about their early relationship and more seriously about George asking for help after 9/11 with the couples he was seeing and Sue's generous response.  Sue gives us a keen example of a uber sexual pursuer and how his needs for attachment drive him even thought his behavior pushes his partner away. Listen up to our discussing with someone who has changed the world with her theory and life's work! For an EFT Therapist or to purchase her bestselling books LoveSense or Hold Me Tight - contact Sue's organization: ICEEFT.com   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listen to this emotional episode to to help the withdrawers in your life. Trained to suppress emotions, withdrawers have decided early in life - it's is not okay to have needs. Their nervous systems don't trust because in the past people haven't shown up for them. Even if their pursuing partner are longing to be close and cover them with their love, their hearts believe others are not safe or dependable. George and Laurie think about the actual words that withdrawers might say when they finally reach out to their waiting partners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In last week's episode we discussed the purpose of the protected moves. On today's show we are going deeper to the "ouch," the pain, the vulnerability that lies below that protection. George and Laurie invite listeners today to explore the pain that we can all feel when we experience rejection, shame or worthlessness in an interaction with our partner. They acknowledge that this is a HEAVY topic but an important one if we want to understand our moves in the cycle, ourselves and our partners on a deeper level. You may want to avoid these conversations but this is where we need conversation the most. Grab your pencil and take notes during the school of love lesson. Believe it or not, understanding the ouch can lead to a bigger, better O!  Please consider partnering with us by using our sponsors: RocketMoney.com/foreplay -- Get rid of those automatically renewing subscriptions that you don't use that are money down the drain! Uberlube.com -- Lauries favoritest lubricant! Be sure to use the code foreplay at checkout to get your 10% discount! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Withdrawers in relationship are steeled against the three waves that come for them... first, they do it wrong for their pursuing partner, next it's their fault for withdrawing and third, they really are nothing after all.  Can you see why it makes sense not to engage? If all you get when you engage with your partner is ultimately the knowledge about being not good enough, maybe unloveable - it's soo much better to stay distant.  Laurie and George talk about the different strategies that withdrawers use to stay as far away from failing as they can. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We want to help pursuers get what they need and then take it into their hearts when it finally comes their way. We know there can be mistrust when a withdrawer at first tries to understand and meet the pursuer's need. Your longing for attention, engagement or sex has left you in fear of always feeling this way.  It makes sense that when your withdrawer starts to come forward that you would have serious doubt about their intentions and authenticity.  But Laurie and George want to set up both partners for a better reconnection.    Please support our sponsors: Uberlube.com/FOREPLAY for 10% off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is George and Laurie's love letter to those pursuers out there! We see how hard you work. Male or female, sexual or emotional pursuer. We see your good intentions. We see your longing for your partner. We know you are working hard at doing it right and often are only criticized when you blow it. But we are sending love and encouragement. Hang in there. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

George says the value of my hour is equal to the value of your hour! Laurie says if there are big inequities in responsibility between couples - there's gonna be big problems in the bedroom! Hear G and Laurie exclaim over how important it is to get FAIRPLAY before FOREPLAY is possible. We know so many couples fight about this and we know it's so important to straighten this out in order to keep the bedroom hot! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We promise fidelity in marriage - a promise of an erotic life with our partner. So what gets in the way? Why do people joke that marriage is where sex goes to die? George and Laurie believe facing the discouragement that couples might feel, is better than settling for low engagement. They explore how men and women may stabilize each other and destabilize each other at different points - in the emotional and sexual cycles. It's complicated and George and Laurie dig in!   #couplescounseling #couplestherapy #vulnerability #marriage #anxiety #foreplayradiosextherapy #sextherapy #withdrawer #lovequotes #marriagetherapy #EFT #couplescounseling #marriageadvice #insecurities #intimacy #communication #sex #sexuality #coregulation #marriagecounseling #pursuer #attachmenttheory #EFTtherapist #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #couples #secureattachment #pursuerwithdrawer #attachment #emotions   Please help support the podcast by purchasing the best lubricant out there - Uberlube.com/Foreplay for 10% off! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our Q&A - What happens when you can’t orgasm during intercourse like you used to?  George and Laurie come up with many different ideas about what might be happening and techniques to help our listener. A listener doesn’t think Laurie gets hookup culture and why orgasm isn’t always the focus.  Here’s to a deeper look at what people might be looking for.  Heartbroken over her partner’s rejection due to herpes, we help a listener come to terms with what she needs to do.  Please support us at the podcast and get slippery, slick sex by using Uberlube.com with the coupon Foreplay for 10% off! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all have scripts that have been handed down. Our families have told us how we are to behave sexually. Gender roles proscribe the way we should act in the bedroom.  Our culture tells us what makes us valuable in sex.  Let's examine these scripts instead of just unconsciously following them.  Free yourself from scripts that might have outlived their purpose! Welcome special guest - Dr. James Hawkins from the postcast: The Leading Edge! Please check out Uberlube.com/Foreplay for the slickest, slipperiest sexual experience.  And support the podcast!       Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you tired of having the same fight over and over? Would you like to discuss things without triggering your partner. Can you imagine that underneath your partner's defense lies a hurt and even below that a need? George tries to help make it simple, in a nutshell there are three parts to how we react in a conflict - our protection, our hurt, and our need Together Laurie and George make sense of defensiveness and role play a different way to reach each other.   Please find the best lubricant on the market @ Uberlube.com/Foreplay for 10% off!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens to sexual desire after marriage? Everything can change! Men are usually sexually consistent throughout the dating process and marriage. Women, on the other hand, are statistically more likely to switch from sultry to celibate after the wedding cake digests. Even women who were sexually engaged throughout the dating process can fizzle out once they embrace married life. For husbands, the switch can be confusing, and so in this episode, we will try to iron out a bit of that confusion by digging into what it is about marriage that dampens sexual desire.  Research concludes that in dating and early partnership, what secures a woman emotionally is male sexual desire.  Women rely on this primal sense from men that creates a feeling of being wanted. As far-fetched as it sounds, in early partnership, the man’s relative emotional availability is not meaningful in making her feel secure. What makes her feel secure is his sexual desire for her. In short, male desire drives female desire, but unfortunately, desire also has enemies. While it’s easy to blame marriage, the byproducts of marriage–time and togetherness–are the real villains. Listen as we talk about the real reasons for the shift in desire after marriage! “Being desired is the best sexual orgasm for women.” – Meredith Chivers, Canadian sex researcher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does your orgasm feel like? An orgasm is so powerful – It’s almost indescribable!  In this episode we talk about how to put words to it! And give you tips on how to talk about orgasms with your partner. Laurie and George also open up about what their own experiences are like… Practicing what we preach – VULNERABILITY! If your partner asked you to describe how an orgasm feels in your body, could you do it? Would you do it?  It's difficult to find the words to describe the feeling and to explain what the body experiences during sex. Sex is, after all, a non-verbal language. However, that doesn't mean we should resign to remaining non-verbal about sex. Working through the discomfort of such an intimate conversation can improve the quality of our sexual encounters and, subsequently, our romantic connections. If you're ready to talk about the big O, we have 5 open-ended questions you can use to keep the conversation flowing smoothly while improving the emotional connection you have with your partner.  The conversation isn't meant to put pressure on either of you. The ultimate goal of sex is pleasure and connection, not orgasm. Instead, it's intended to open the door to communication. It's a way to explore how orgasms work and don't work while encouraging intimacy. As the saying goes, "communication is lubrication." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever wonder why you get angry in a fight? Have you been unsure why conflict makes you want to run? Join George and Laurie in today's episode to learn the purpose of your protective move, the healthy function it is trying to achieve and the impact it has on you and your partner. These moves, often seen as fight or flight are there to keep us safe and in some way to protect the relationship. However, this is where a negative cycle forms as each partner's protective move triggers a move in their partner and round and round we go. If you have been caught in this cycle you know just how exhausting it can be and probably have thought if we could just talk about it now, or if we could just take some space it would be SO MUCH BETTER! Learn with us today in this episode all about protective moves and how you can slow down and begin developing new moves, ones that can keep you connected with your partner. Get connected and keep it hot y'all! Check out our great sponsor: Foriawellness.com/foreplay -- check out their sex-enhancing oils! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A person’s sexual history is profoundly revealing. Those who have attempted to discuss sexual histories with their lover know the conversation can elicit different emotional reactions. It can be awkward to ask your partner about their past or have your partner ask you about your sexual past, but the outcome of braving such a conversation is stronger intimacy. Join George and Laurie as they get beyond numbers and into curious questions. Find success in discussing sexual histories, learn about your partner's accelerators and brakes. Caveat: use caution if your partner is a jealous person. Please checkout the best lubricant on the market: Uberlube.com with the coupon code FOREPLAY for a discount! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Not fair. Women have less orgasms than men; Laurie and George talk about the disturbing stats. Why is this happening? Do men still not know how a woman gets aroused and reaches orgasm?   Are we as parents and a culture teaching young women and men about what a female bodies might need?   Women are socialized to give instead of to get. And men are more shaped to get what they need. George volunteers that women also need "fairplay" not just foreplay.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we heal the pain created by reaching for our person and finding they aren’t there? We’ve all experienced hurt and disappointment in relationships. When a healthy attachment is present, the pain is acknowledged, and you move past it together. However, when there’s an attachment injury, the process of moving forward is blocked... Dr. Sue Johnson defines an attachment injury as a “feeling of betrayal or abandonment during a critical time of need.” If our lover isn’t there for us in those moments or doesn’t show up, it’s incredibly painful, and our bodies are smart enough to avoid future pain.  The pain we experience in these moments is sent to our limbic system. In response, our limbic system releases stress hormones, alerts our amygdala to danger, and embeds a message in the hippocampus that says, “Do not depend on this person again.”  The good news is that it’s never too late to heal an attachment injury! The body and the brain stand outside of time. Our bodies hold memories, and we can go back to them and heal them now. While you can’t change what happened, you can change how you feel about what happened, which can change everything.  Let’s talk about HOW to heal these attachment wounds… together. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices