‘Are you kidding me? I’ve got to go through all this AGAIN?’

Realising your grief hasn’t actually ‘got better’ after the first anniversary of loss can cause absolute despair. The idea of facing another tumultuous year of pain and heartache seems impossible.

Claire Louise, author of And Always Annaliese, shares her story about how she coped with Year 2 and beyond after losing Annaliese in 2018. With Debbie, she discusses some of the key issues that arise in this difficult phase and examines some of the theories and practices that might help you get through.

This episode is dedicated to Annaliese.

Resources:

And Always Annaliese, by Clare Louise

Midowed: a mother’s grief, by Debbie Enever

Bereaved Parents' Club podcast webpage fore more information and resources

‘Just remember that you're worthy of love. Remember that you're worthy of compassion. You're worthy of having space to laugh.’

To mark National Bereaved Parents Day, Aisha Peters shares her words of hope, and talks of how she has created a Beautiful Vision in her daughter Damali’s name.

When Damali died suddenly aged just 3, Aisha had nowhere to turn that offered the safe and culturally appropriate support she needed. Now she’s the CEO of a wonderful organisation doing just that.   

Damali Beautiful Vision CIC is a community interest company supporting Global Majority community members and their families in their navigation of bereavement due to the sudden loss of a young child and or a young adult. 

Summertime events with Damali Beautiful Vision CIC.

VEWA Productions is Aisha’s vocal coaching, sound healing and guided meditation company offering online sessions for 1-1 and groups.

This episode is dedicated to Damali.

When Vicki’s daughter Fi was involved in a road traffic incident, her parents helped to enact her wish to become an organ donor.

Vicki talks about that process, and how she finds ‘active grief’ allows her to pursue a happy and fulfilling life without taking away from the sadness of losing Fi.

She also tells us about how Fi continues to drive some amazing things that are done in her name, mainly relating to FEES Fund. 

For more information about the Donor Family Care Service, click here.

You can find all about FEES FUND here

If you fancy trying open water swimming, Swim England will help you find a local venue.

Vicki has also written about her family and their wider losses and stories of survival, and you can find details on our website.

This episode is dedicated to Fi.

Smothered with kindness or have friends seemingly abandoned you? What is the right thing to do when a child dies?

We’re heading off down a different path in this episode, taking a look into research around the ‘should and shouldn’ts’ of grief behaviours in our society, and what that might mean to us specifically as bereaved parents.

Our guest is Dr Jennie Dayes, and as well as explaining her research she’s also taking us through how she came to produce some rather lovely continuing bonds resources.  

To read Jennie’s research about grief etiquette, click here.

To view the Continuing Bonds cards, click here.

This episode is dedicated to Betty.

Lynsey lost both of her beautiful children to Batten’s Disease, a rare and complex disease that is always fatal. In this episode, she speaks with grace and compassion about her family’s journey through these terrible losses, and how she is now able to help others facing similar challenges, as a peer befriender. 

To find out about the Batten’s Disease Family Association, click here.

To buy Poppy’s single, When You Were With Me, follow this link. To listen on YouTube, click here. 

This episode is dedicated to Ellie Mae and Caleb.

The Library for Bereaved Parents…meet Mary, who runs a fabulous library for The Compassionate Friends, an organisation working across the UK to support bereaved parents. Mary shares her own story of loss and explains how she chooses books for others. She also runs us through some of her favourite and most important book choices. God Is An Octopus, anybody?

To find out about The Compassionate Friends, click here.

To email Mary about borrowing books, contact her at library@tcf.org.uk

For more details about all the books mentioned in the programme, visit the Bereaved Parents’ Club website. 

This episode is dedicated to Claire.

Is child loss different for men? After losing his son to suicide in 2021, Dave Thompson opens up about his mental health journey, support groups, and his newfound love for Stockport County.  

To find out about Mentell, click here.

Healthy Minds was NHS driven mental health support and may be called something else where you live. NHS Mental Health Support can be found here.

To reach Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SoBS), click here.

Stockport County Community Trust information can be found here. 

GHT online: https://ghtonline.co.uk/pages/about-ght

This episode is dedicated to George.

Two days after the devastating loss of her 23-month-old son Reuben, Nic Graham decided to set up a charity giving families of children with complex needs or illnesses the holidays they needed to create the memories they deserved. Listen to Nic tell her story and how she’s built much more than she could ever have dreamed of.

To find out about Reuben’s Retreat, click here.

This episode is dedicated to Reuben.

You probably can’t believe you are searching for this podcast. Join us to find some reassurance, some gentle words of support, and to help you perhaps find some further sources of help and advice. 

Our guest is Michelle Meredith from the Child Death Helpline, and she and podcast host Debbie Enever will be guiding you through some aspects of this early period of loss and grief. 

To find out about the Child Death Helpline, click here. To contact them for support, call 0800 282 986.

To understand Edward’s Syndrome, click here.

For support relating to Edward’s Syndrome, click here.

 ‘Grief of the Newly Bereaved’ leaflet, produced by the Compassionate Friends.

The Justin Bieber song that Michelle mentioned is this one: ‘What Do You Mean?’

Cruse offers bereavement counselling.

This is the shoes poem.

For more details about any resources mentioned in the programme, visit the Bereaved Parents’ Club podcast website. 

This episode is dedicated to Alice.

It’s the club none of us want to be members of, but here we are.

My name is Debbie, and I’m a bereaved parent and your host. 

This podcast is for all of us, to share and celebrate the stories of our children, and offer support to each other. Each episode will explore topics that have relevance to us as we navigate the world as bereaved parents. Whether your loss was last week, last month, last year or even last century, you are welcome here. And whether your child was a baby, a youngster, a teenager, an adult, or even a parent themselves, you are welcome here. 

Please be aware that each episode will deal with themes of death and loss. 

At 25 weeks pregnant, Pete’s wife Gina knew something was wrong. Their concerns unaddressed by health professionals, they suffered the loss of their baby boy Danté. With incredible calm and candour, Pete shares the harrowing series of failures that led to this terrible outcome, and we discuss the glaring health inequalities that black parents face during pregnancy and birth.

This episode is dedicated to Danté.

Tommy’s charity is dedicated to finding causes and treatments to save babies’ lives as well as providing trusted pregnancy and baby loss information and support. Statistical data is available here.

Theintergenerational impact of baby loss in Black communities by Leah Letwin, April 2024.

Black Box Thinking, Matthew Syed.

Hudgell Solicitors are the firm supporting Pete and Gina’s claim.

No one Famous Tailoring, Leyton, who made Danté’s suit.

Ebony Bonds on Instagram. Ebony Bonds Bereavement Peer Support is dedicated to providing a safe and nurturing space for families who have experienced the heart-breaking loss of a baby.

Find out about Hilary Grierson, the Highgate Baby Loss Tree and the work of North East London SANDS.

Want to listen to Soca (Soul of calypso) music to bring some light in? Listen here and here or search for Soca on any music platform! And to listen to Pete, Gina, and Danté’s special song, Bacchanalist by Kerwin Du Bois, you can find it here.

https://www.bereavedparentsclub.org.uk/

Is work a saviour or a source of anxiety after loss? What can employers do better to support bereaved parents? What happens when you find your job just doesn’t seem to matter any more? How do you work out what to do next?

Jillian Bain, a bereaved mum herself and a Career Development Professional from Scotland, talks us through some of the complexities of grief and a return to work, and how we might navigate this aspect of life after loss.

If you’d like to read Jillian’s research, please email her for a copy on jillmill1972@gmail.com

ACAS information about Bereavement and Time Off Work

Want to volunteer but don’t know where to start? Check these out:  Volunteering Wales website, Volunteer Scotland website, and National Council for Voluntary Organisations for England and the UK.

For more resources discussed on the episode, please visit the Bereaved Parents' Club. This episode is dedicated to Rachael.

Dads want to join golf clubs and football clubs. But for those men who find themselves experiencing child loss, Trevor Dwyer-Lynch has set up ‘The Exclusive Club Dad’s Don’t Wanna Belong To’. Today Trevor tells us about how setting up his podcast has given him a way of expressing his own feelings, and hopefully helping other men acknowledge and express theirs. There’s also Buddhism and poetry…

Resources

The Exclusive Club That Dads Don't Wanna Belong To podcast

For more understanding about different faiths and their beliefs around death, Child Bereavement UK has a dedicated information page.

Read more about Angels United FC, and there’s lots more similar teams run through SANDS.

For more resources as discussed on the episode, please visit the ⁠Bereaved Parents' Club⁠.

This episode is dedicated to Jordan.

This episode is dedicated to Jordan.

Sharron Huddleston has been campaigning for the introduction of a Graduated Driving License Scheme since her daughter Caitlin was killed in a car crash in 2017.

Caitlin was the passenger of a driver who had only held a license for 4 months and whose inexperience contributed to the fatal outcome. Here Sharron talks about her lovely daughter, her grief, and her determination to make our roads safer.

Resources

Brake’s Graduated Driving License campaign

Caitlin’s Story

Road Peace the National Charity for Road Crash Victims.

Forget-me-not Families Uniting private Facebook group

For more resources as discussed on the episode, please visit the ⁠Bereaved Parents' Club⁠.

UPDATE!!

Email from Sharron on 15th October 2024:

The big news was, that we have received the full support for GDL to be implemented as law from Chief Constable Jo Shiner who is the most senior roads policing officer in the UK. She holds the road safety portfolio…

The campaign group has now grown to 157 bereaved family members all calling for GDL. 

https://mailchi.mp/roadpeace/graduated-driving-licensing-in-the-national-spotlight-again?e=67740e583d 

In the last few days a member of our group has set up a new petition for GDL:

https://www.change.org/p/safer-driving-licensing-for-newly-qualified-17-19-year-olds?recruited_by_id=94381330-880d-11ef-9530-d3f149c6d31c&utm_source=share_petition&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&utm_term=psf&utm_medium=copylink&sfnsn=scwspmo

The RAC Foundation proposal to Government on what they think a British Graduated Driving License system should include was released last week too…If you listen from 1hr 46 mins 36 secs you can listen to Elizabeth Box from the RAC Foundation explaining the RAC Foundation proposal for a British Graduated Driving License system and why and how it will save young lives on our roads. Ian Greenwood and myself speak too. Chief Constable Jo Shiner is interviewed at 3 hours 11 mins and 45 secs giving her support, where again you can hear Ian and myself speak. Listen here:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0js7yjs 

This episode is dedicated to Caitlin.

Where do you turn when your baby dies? How do you express your loss, connect with others, and find some comfort? What happens when you go on to have a child after loss?

Whilst finding a creative outlet for her own grief, Jess reached out and created online spaces for others facing similar challenges.

Find out about the Legacy of Leo, #BabyLossHour, Advent to Remember, and the ups and downs of navigating family life.

Resources

LGBT Baby Loss: https://thelegacyofleo.com/lgbt-baby-loss/

Baby Loss Hour:

https://thelegacyofleo.com/babylosshour/

Advent to Remember: 

https://thelegacyofleo.com/adventtoremember/

Allsorts Parents & Carers Service emerged in 2013 in response to the need for parents/carers of children and young people who are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or exploring their sexual orientation and/or gender identity (LGBT+), to connect and provide each other with support, community and friendship. 

The National Bereavement Care Pathway was initiated by the All Party Parliamentary Group (APPG) for baby loss. Piloted in 11 sites in 2017/18, the NBCP is now used in 99% of NHS England hospital sites. The full list of resources is available on our website so please visit the ⁠Bereaved Parents' Club⁠. This episode is dedicated to Leo.

By taking an active and creative response to the loss of their son Josh, Jane Harris and husband Jimmy Edmonds have developed fantastic resources for all bereaved parents. Jane joins us on this episode to talk about -amongst other things - the wonderful film A Love That Never Dies, the book When Words are not Enough, and their hugely popular active grief retreats. 

This episode is dedicated to Josh.

Jane Harris is a psychotherapist and bereavement specialist with over 30 years of experience in the NHS and private practice. She is also a grief educator, supervisor and public speaker​, regularly appearing in podcasts and radio.

Her partner Jimmy Edmonds is ​a photographer and documentary film editor with over 100 TV credits. He is also a Winston Churchill Fellow and BAFTA award-winning filmmaker with several critically-acclaimed documentaries to his name​, including Chosen for Channel 4 and Breaking the Silence for BBC1. 

After the death of their son at the age of 22 in 2011​, they created The Good Grief Project www.thegoodgriefproject.co.uk a charity dedicated to a proactive approach to grief. Using ideas that flow from the concept of ‘continuing bonds’, as opposed to society’s expectation of detachment from the deceased, they developed their Active Grief programme, comprising a series of residential retreats and workshops. Here, bereaved parents and siblings are helped to discover new and imaginative ways of expressing their grief, through creative writing, photography, boxing and fitness training.

Grief is energy, they say, and their own skills have enabled them to make a number of significant films, including the award-winning A Love That Never Dies, Gerry’s Legacy, Beyond Goodbye, Say Their Name, and Beyond the Mask. 

Their films, workshops and retreats speak to a new appreciation of what it means to grieve in a society that often has difficulty talking openly about death, dying and bereavement. 

Their latest book, When Words Are Not Enough: Creative Responses to Grief is available worldwide. 

https://www.quickthornbooks.com/title-list/when-words-are-not-enough/ 

“The word I keep coming back to with this book is beautiful, not a word I would usually associate with grief. But this book is rich in detail and compassion, it is authoritative and kind. Jane and Jimmy have done an extraordinary thing, through their immense loss and pain they have chosen to redefine grief as love turned inside out and walk alongside the bereaved. They make grief less scary. I have not read a better book on grief.”  Annalisa Barbiere – THE GUARDIAN 

Resources:

Please visit The Good Grief Project to learn more about Jane and Jimmy’s work, including the film A Love That Never Dies and the book When Words Are Not Enough.

This link takes you directly to their Active Grief Retreats and you can find out about Grief Fit too.

The July Three Peaks Challenge that Jane mentioned is on the Events page.

The Compassionate Friends can be contacted here. The Helpline is 0345 123 2304.

The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O’ Connor.

In January 2020, Liam Walsh's 15-year old son Patrick went to a football game with his brother and never came home. He collapsed as they dashed for the last train out of Marylebone and died, suddenly, unexpectedly and still, without cause.

Two weeks later, Liam's Dad, with his sense of purpose desperately unravelled, gently died too.

'Red Balloons' traces their last months, and how Liam endured the next ones.

Today, he discusses writing, running, and family life after loss.

Resources Red Balloons, Liam Walsh

SUDC UK (Sudden Unexplained Death of a Child) SUDC is the unexpected death of a child aged between 1-18 years that remains unexplained. SUDC UK is a registered charity dedicated to awareness, research and family support.

There are running clubs across the UK, for all ages and ability levels. Here’s some places to start:

• Run Together (England Athletics)
• The UK Good Run Guide A-Z directory

If you need a more bouncy and excitable excuse/reason to get outdoors…Borrow My Doggy

For more resources as discussed on the episode, please visit the ⁠Bereaved Parents' Club⁠.

This episode is dedicated to Patrick.

Dreading December? Can’t face Christmas? No idea how you are going to manage your grief in the face of all the baubles and cheer? We’re here to try to help you through. Listen to Abi May and Debbie discuss the difficulties of seasonal festivities and suggest a few things that just might help.

Resources Living With Loss is Abi’s webpage with details of the retreats and workshops on offer

The Compassionate Friends leaflets Coping with Special Occasions and Coping with Christmas and Other Seasonal Events

Winston’s Wish Coping with Christmas blog 2023

Untangle Grief’s guide to coping at Christmas (do check the accuracy of the 2024 events listed by downloading the app)

Christmas Day Helplines

• Child Death Helpline 0800 282 986
• The Compassionate Friends 0345 123 2304 open from 10am to 4pm, and 7pm to 10pm, every day of the year.
• Samaritans 116 123

This episode is dedicated to Pax and Catherine.

Shushma Jain shares her story of losing her brother Arvind. We’ll find out why siblings are ‘forgotten mourners’ and what Shushma is doing to help other adult siblings to cope with their grief.

Resources

SLOW Support for Bereaved Parents and Siblings

The Dead Sibling Society video podcast

Sibling Support mainly for young people

Sibs For brothers and sisters of disabled children and adults

For more resources as discussed on the episode, please visit the ⁠Bereaved Parents' Club⁠.

This episode is dedicated to Arvind.

Kasia shares her story of her son Jakub including his musical talent and his final day.  We hear about Jaks World, a suicide prevention charity, and how this has helped Kasia in her grief.  Kasia explains the need to change the narrative around suicide and providing education to all and the important work Jaks World is doing in honest open conversations around suicide and its prevention.  Kasia, as a qualified EFT practitioner, talks openly about her experience and how she uses this practice daily in trying to help regulate her nervous system.Please be aware this episode covers grief, loss and suicide.

Meet Debbie and Tracy, the two mums behind the Bereaved Parents’ Club. And meet Dan and George, their brilliant sons whose deaths led to the mums joining the club that nobody wants to be a member of. 

This is an opportunity to find out how Tracy and Debbie met, and how the podcast came about. You’ll also hear about their books. Debbie wrote Midowed, published last year, which describes the first year of grief and celebrates the mother-son bond and coins the word ‘midowed’ to describe a mother that has lost her child. Tracy’s book Cooked with Love celebrates food as an expression of love and a way of sharing wonderful memories. Gathering recipes from bereaved parents it’s a mouth-watering testament to meals loved and shared, and a glimpse into the lives of the children we miss so very much.

Join us as we think about what we have achieved and what might be coming next for the Bereaved Parents’ Club. 

This episode is dedicated to George and Dan.

We are so grateful to Emma Ruby's Mum for taking the time to record this special podcast short on how her family handle Christmas and include/honour their daughter Ruby who died in May 2020 at the age of eighteen from lymphoma a form of blood cancer.

We hope it resonates and provides comfort and support to other bereaved parents as this time of year is particularly tricky and at times overwhelming.

Ruby's family and friends have raised a truly incredible £292k during the last five years through Live Kindly Live Loudly which is Ruby's motto and her legacy.

All the money raised goes directly to CCLG: The Children & Young People's Cancer Association  raising vital funds for research into T-cell lymphoma and leukaemia.

You can find out more information by visiting @livekindlyliveloudly on instagram and clicking on their web link in the bio.

Thank you Emma xx

This podcast short is dedicated to Ruby ❤️.

#livekindlyliveloudly
#bereavedparents
#childloss
#survivingchristmas
#saytheirnames

Today we are so thankful for Sascha's little sister Stefanie who has kindly recorded this special Christmas message.

Her older brother Sascha died aged 18 in 2004 from Glioblastoma which is an aggressive cancer in the brain.

Stefanie shares how they honour and include Sascha at Christmas and have formed ways of doing this as a family every year.

We love the candle lighting idea and having a candle burning into the new year as a symbol of Stefanie taking Sascha into the next year with her.

Coping with a new year without your loved one is often very challenging and a particularly complex time in grief.

Sibling grief is complicated as not only does it change the dynamics of your family. You may now be the only living child yet this was never meant to be. Often siblings have special close relationships they can be best friends, confidents and protectors and the loss of them is felt in so many ways.

The focus after a child dies is often on the parents as this is against the natural order of life. For a sibling they are grieving the loss of their sibling and on top the loss of the son/daughter relationship they had before as their parents are struggling with their own grief. This can have further impact the family connection with living siblings as each of their relationships with their parents and siblings are uniquely individual to them.

This is a truly beautiful message from Stefanie which clearly shows the growing love and bond she has with her big brother Sascha.

Thank you Stefanie x

This podcast short is dedicated to Sascha ❤️

#glioblastomaawareness

#siblingloss

#siblinggrief

#survivingchristmas

#saytheirnames

We are so honoured @love.from.dad Matt has recorded this very special Christmas Message for parents who are navigating the devastating loss of a baby or young child.

Matt talks about navigating that first Christmas without their baby daughter Wren who died at eight days old in April 2022.

Matt explains the difficulties of handling family photos and how they include Wrens bunny in these family gatherings.

Matt shares some beautiful ways of how they include and honour their daughter Wren at Christmas.  Including buying an age appropriate toy at and donating it to a local charity in Wren's honour.

From the bottom of our heart we send our love to Matt, his family and to anyone affected by the loss of a baby 🩷💙.

For parents seeking understanding please follow Matt @love.from.dad . Matt is an advocate for the @stillparentspodcast hosted by Dads who have all experienced baby loss.
Please reach out to your local baby loss charity and national ones that offer support and a helpline.

This podcast short is dedicated to Wren 🩷.

We are thankful that Katja Faber Argenta has taken the time to record this very special Christmas Message.

Katja shares her experiences of navigating Christmas over the last eleven years after her son Alex was killed on 30th December 2014.

For parents more newly bereaved or parents struggling this year with the difficulties of Christmas we hope you find some comfort in Katja's words on how her family have reinvented Christmas as the years have passed and that it has felt lighter and softer in more recent years.

@katja.author.faber is a mother, writer, speaker and grief mentor. I like so many other bereaved parents took great comfort from Katja's posts over the years as her words resonated and I could identify in what she was writing.

We would like to wish Katja, her family and all our listeners a peaceful Christmas. Whatever you choose to do or not do over the coming days is enough.

Extending our love to you and your loved ones no longer physically with us ❤️.

This podcast short is dedicated to Alex ❤️

#childloss

#bereavedparent

#survivingchristmas

Nicola shares her heartbreaking story of her daughterLaura's bravery and determination after being diagnosed with aggressive brain cancer Glioblastoma. 

How Laura defied the initial terminal prognosis timeline, the families fight for treatment to keep Laura alive.  Nicola shares stories of Laura's bucket list which went viral. 

How Laura became a young ambassador for the Brain Tumour Charity and re-enrolled at university whilst having Chemo and completed her degree course and graduated with a 2:1.

Nicola shares the need for the narrative to change in termsof more support and recognition for sibling loss and that her other daughter Gracie now works for Sibling Support UK to help other siblings like herself.

Nicola Nuttall has become a passionate fundraiser, speaker and campaigner, fighting to raise awareness of the disease.

Her book ‘The Stars Will Still Be There’ published by Harper Collins, is an unflinchingly honest account of how the family coped with Laura’s devastating diagnosis and helped to make the most of her remaining time, reminding us all to live life to the fullest and ‘Be More Laura’ every single day.

Nicola runs The Be More Laura Foundation which funds vital research in the hope of finding kinder, more effective treatments for glioblastoma and works with organisations such as Our Brain Bank, Brain Cancer Justice and The Brain Tumour Charity to call for change in how brain tumours are treated, particularly in young adults.

Please be aware this episode will include themes of death, loss and cancer treatment.

How do you tackle wills, pensions and legacy post the death of your only child when you have little family and no future bloodline?

Tracy George's Mum shares her experience and recent difficult conversations and being four years on with still no plan?

We would be happy to hear any thoughts and what other parents and families have done?

#childloss​