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Episode 202: I Need A Vacation From My Vacation!05 Aug 202500:29:36

How do family vacations look for your family?  They often are a mix of rushing, relaxing, and new adventures. In this week’s episode, we share some of our favorite memories traveling as a family and how we learned to trust God in the unexpected twists and turns! 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 201: It’s Time to Go (on Vacation)29 Jul 202500:24:36

Have you taken a vacation recently?  Getting away can be really fun and healthy or it can be full of stress and anxiety.  In this week’s episode, we’re sharing and how we feel about vacations and our struggles around traveling. 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 200: Better TWO-gether22 Jul 202500:20:38

In honor of our 200th episode, we’re celebrating TWOs and the ways we are better TWO-gether.  Batman and Robin, Woody and Buzz, Paul and Silas - all dynamic duos where you can’t imagine one without the other!  In this week’s episode we share what makes a good partnership so that our marriage can be a dynamic duo!

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

 

Episode 199: Turn Off the Fan (ICYMI #38)15 Jul 202500:20:37

 Do you have Fan Wars in your house? One person who prefers the fan be on, and the other one who needs it to be off?  In this episode, we laugh about our dilemma with the fan and how we work through our differing preferences. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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myfaithpodcasts.com/podcasts/behind-our-smiles

Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

 

Episode 198: I'm So Glad You Were Born!08 Jul 202500:28:50

How do you feel about birthdays?   Maybe you love celebrating yours or maybe it brings up a host of negative emotions about your worth.  In honor of Joe’s birthday this week, we share some of our “birthday baggage” and how our identity is not tied to the circumstances surrounding our birth, nor who we are born to!

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 197: How Do I Show Kindness (Summer School #3)01 Jul 202500:18:24

In this last session of summer school, we share about another foundational skill that benefits our marriage: kindness. Once you’ve mastered forgiveness and offered grace, being kind is a great next step. It may be a simple skill to learn, but it can have a huge impact!  Join us this week as we share about the ABC’s of being kind! 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 196: How Do I Show Grace? (Summer School #2)24 Jun 202500:16:34

This week we’re tackling another foundational skill that we need for healthy relationships: grace!     Grace is one of those things that we love to receive but we are more hesitant to freely give.  In our second session of Summer School we share the ABC’s of showing grace in our marriages. 

These are the Conversation Cards that we mentioned :) 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 195: How Do I Forgive? (Summer School #1)17 Jun 202500:17:50

School’s out so that means it’s time for…. summer school!  Sometimes summer school is all about brushing up on foundational skills so you’re ready to move on to the next level.  In our marriage, one foundational skill we need to know is how to forgive.  In this week’s summer school episode, we’re sharing the “ABC’s” of forgiveness! 

Previous epidsodes on forgiveness:

Will You Forgive Me? Part 1

Will You Forgive Me? Part 2

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 194: You're Such a Good Dad! (ICYMI #90)10 Jun 202500:40:56

Did you have a “good Dad”?  Are you, or your husband, a good dad?   Joe and I have vastly different experiences with our own fathers but we can agree on the characteristics of what makes a good dad.  In this episode, we talk about the positive and negative influences our fathers have on us. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 193: We've Had Our Ups and Downs03 Jun 202500:36:48

We’re celebrating our 28th anniversary this month! Like many couples, we look back and remember the ups and downs, and all highs and lows in our marriage. This week we share some of those moments and what we learned through each season. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 192: I Want You To Pursue Me27 May 202500:30:59

Do you like to be pursued by your spouse?  What does it even mean to pursue each other?  In this episode we share about the value of pursuit in marriage and what it is that we are pursuing. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 191: I (Still) Love Weddings!20 May 202500:28:30

We have added another daughter to our family!  We recently celebrated the wedding of our son, Jeremiah, to his bride, Evangeline.  In this week’s episode we share highlights of the wedding day and a few things we shared with our newlyweds about marriage. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 190: You Make Me Smile!13 May 202500:15:26

What makes you smile when you think about your husband or wife?  Sometimes what makes us smile is the most random quirks and imperfections. This week we’re sharing fun comments and stories we received from you that make us smile!   

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 189: Can We Just Skip Mother’s Day? (ICYMI #29)06 May 202500:42:21

Is Mother’s Day a “loaded” holiday for you or your spouse?  Does it bring up emotions and memories you’d rather not deal with?  In this episode, Joe shares openly about the scars he still carries from an abusive mother and how he has found healing in Christ. 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 188: I Still Hear My Mother's Voice29 Apr 202500:33:13

As Mother’s Day approaches, what kind of emotions come to the surface?  Specifically, when you think of your mother, what do you hear her saying?   The messages we hear as a child can often stay with us for life, especially if those messages were negative or hurtful.  This week we’re sharing our emotions around Mother’s Day and the importance of replacing negative voices with God's truth.

 As Mother’s Day approaches, what kind of emotions come to the surface?  Specifically, when you think of your mother, what do you hear her saying?   The messages we hear as a child can often stay with us for life, especially if those messages were negative or hurtful.  This week we’re sharing our emotions around Mother’s Day and the importance of replacing negative voices with God's truth.

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 187: Becoming a MAN-ager of Your Marriage - Part 222 Apr 202500:28:13

What makes someone a good manager at work?   As Joe stepped into a management role, we saw that some of the same tools that make for a good work manager can be just as helpful in context of marriage. This week we share the last three principles of managing your marriage well as a husband.

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 186: Becoming a MAN-ager Of Your Marriage - Part 115 Apr 202500:29:21

What makes someone a good manager at work?   As Joe stepped into a management role, we saw that some of the same tools that make for a good work manager can be just as helpful in context of marriage.  Joe recently had an opportunity to share with a group of men at a local marriage conference about this topic.  This week we share the first two principles of managing your marriage well as a husband. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 185: Don't Touch Me08 Apr 202500:30:12

One of the most impactful types of “body language” that God has given husbands and wives is sexual intimacy.  But like other areas of communication, sometimes our messages get lost in translation and cause disconnection.  We’ve seen in our own story how our own relationship with physical touch and our past traumas can greatly affect our ability to give and receive physical love.  This week we share how we learned to communicate our desires and our fears, and how we worked together to overcome those barriers to intimacy. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 184: Your Body Language Says It All01 Apr 202500:31:15

What is the message that your body language is sending to your spouse?  The experts say that 70% of communication is non-verbal communication:  facial expressions, gestures, body language.  Just like our words, we can use our body language to build up or tear down.  In this week’s episode we share how we use body language to pursue connection. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 183: Would You Rather...25 Mar 202500:24:10

It’s the game that drives you crazy!  Both options seem so extreme but you have to pick one.   Besides having a little fun, this game also helps us to learn about each other and what makes us tick.  In this episode, we play a few rounds of Would You Rather and discovered what our answers reveal about what we each value. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 182: This Isn't Logical, But It's Real (Interview with Dustin & Sarah Lolli)18 Mar 202500:59:05

Dustin Lolli is the lead singer of Sanctus Real.

Have you ever faced challenges in your marriage that didn’t make any sense, but they were still very, very real?   Dustin is the lead singer of Sanctus Real and he and his wife Sarah make up the folk duo, This Way Home.  They shared with us their love story and the hardships that they have had to walk through together, including financial struggles, depression, and near-constant moving.  So much of their story, from how they met to Dustin joining Sanctus Real, didn’t always seem logical, but looking back, they can see God’s guiding hand in it all.   

Bonus:  Dustin and Sarah play one of their new songs for us at the end of the podcast!

 

Learn more about Dustin & Sarah:

This Way Home on Spotify 

This Way Home on Instagram

This episode's theme, "Smile," was perfromed by This Way Home. 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

 

 

Episode 181: Can I Have Your Attention, Please (Without Your Phone)? (ICYMI #92)11 Mar 202500:34:06

In recent times, smart phones have become the one thing that consumes most of our attention.  Almost every thing and every person can be brushed aside when we hear any type of “ding” coming from our phones.   How do we give our spouse our undivided attention with all the distraction that these devices bring?  It can feel like an impossible task.  This week we talk about how not to let our screens and devices pull us away from our husband or wife.

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 180: Can I Have Your Attention, Please? (ICYMI #91)04 Mar 202500:26:04

Attention is one of the greatest gifts we can give another person due to the fact that it is such a limited resource. We all only have 24 hours in a day, and we all only have so much mental energy to share with another person.  So many other people and things can demand our attention that it can leave our husband or wife feeling lonely. 

 In this week’s episode we talk about how to steward our attention.

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 179: I'm Feeling Overwhelmed25 Feb 202500:32:23

Are you in a season where you feel completely overwhelmed?   Or maybe several back-to-back seasons?  Living in overwhelm can leave us drained and can put a strain on our marriage.  In this episode we share ways to combat the overwhelm together and find refuge in the ROCK! 

 

O God, listen to my cry! Hear my prayer! From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me. Let me live forever in your sanctuary, safe beneath the shelter of your wings!  Psalm 61:1-4

 

R-Rest

O-Organize 

C-Communicate 

K- Kick out discouragement 

 

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 178: Is This What I Get For Obeying You? (Interview with Lee and Terry Burnham)18 Feb 202500:55:39

This week we’re talking with Lee and Terry Burnham, as they share how they found hope and renewed faith after the loss of their 3 year old daughter, Amanda.   Their story is one of sorrow, faith, and the unlikely survival of their marriage despite overwhelming loss. In this episode, Lee and Terry share the painful journey leading up to Amanda’s diagnosis, the heartbreak of losing her, and how their faith was tested in unimaginable ways. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 177: You Spoil Me!11 Feb 202500:30:01

When we go overboard with giving good gifts, it’s often called spoiling someone. But spoiling isn’t just for the grandkids: we can also show that abundant, extravagant love to our spouse!  We can find ways to make him or her feel super special and cherished.  In this episode, we share ways what that “spoiling” can look like and common pitfalls to avoid. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 176: Let Me Call You Sweetheart!04 Feb 202500:23:05

Do you have special pet names  for your spouse?  Babe, sweetheart, honey, darling? One easy way to grow our connection and intimacy in marriage is using those special names that only we can use!  This week we’re sharing our history with pet names and sharing a few new ones you might want to add to your vocabulary!

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 175: I Know You're Going Through a Hard Time28 Jan 202500:34:17

How does it affect your marriage when you or your spouse are going through a hard time?  That could be grief, depression, or feeling directionless.  This week we’re following up on the last two episodes and share what that struggle looked like for us and how we got through it with our faith and our relationship in tact. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 174: We Are Going to Make It! Part 221 Jan 202500:38:23

What happens when your perfect plan falls completely apart and you have to start from scratch?   We’re sharing about a time in our lives when Joe was figuring out what to do with his future and nothing went as he planned.  But God was faithful even in the rock bottom, walking with us and teaching us to trust.  In this week’s episode we share what we learned how we learned to trust God in that painful season. 

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 173: We Are Going to Make It! Part 114 Jan 202500:28:58

 Do you remember a time you felt hopeless and weren’t sure you were going to make it?  When your world seemed to be falling apart and you doubted if God would pull you through?   In this episode we revisit a pre-marriage season of our life that shook our world and our relationship.  And how God used those painful moments to bring us to where we are now! 

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 172: Yeah, I Can Work on That!07 Jan 202500:30:14

Happy New Year! The start of the year is a great time to set goals and reflect on the areas we need to improve.  Sometimes our spouse is the first person to notice and be affected by those weaknesses and then we react in defensiveness.  But when we own our weaknesses and commit to change, that benefits both ourselves and our marriage!  In this week’s episode, we share about how to give and receive grace as we work on our personal shortcomings. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 171: We Had More Money Going Out Than Coming In! (ICYMI #96)31 Dec 202401:05:02

Our special guests today are Larry and Hope Ware, hosts of the popular YouTube Channel, Under the Median.  Even though they specialize in helping families with practical frugality and getting our of debt, they also have a lot to share from their 35 years of marriage. From a rocky start to infertility to having babies “past their prime” to major financial hurdles, Larry and Hope have had to lean on God and learn to work together though it all.  Join us as share their wisdom and hear how God has provided for them in every season. 

Check out Hope and Larry’s frugal resources on their website 

https://underthemedian.com/

Under the Median YouTube Channel

(We also talked to just Hope on Episode 155, "I'm a Verbal Processor!" 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 170: Merry Christmas!24 Dec 202400:08:33

Joe and Tara are stopping in to wish and your family a Merry Christmas and to share about where they find joy when Christmas isn't everything we're dreaming it should be. We hope you and your family are enjoying a joyous and hope-filled Christmas season.  

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 169: The Miracle of Christmas17 Dec 202400:19:41

To quote C.S. Lewis, “The central miracle asserted by Christians is the Incarnation. They say that God became Man.”   At the heart of the Christmas story is the “word becoming flesh” and without that first miracle, the rest of the story doesn’t matter! In this week’s episode we talk about the significance of that primary miracle and our place in that story. 

Read more of Lewis’ thoughts on the incarnation:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 168: Christmas Is Complicated10 Dec 202400:36:03

Are you so excited it’s Christmas?  Will you get to see family?”  Have you ever wanted to answer: well, it’s complicated. The holiday season can be a magnifying glass to whatever joys and hurts you’re experiencing in your life.  For many people, it is a time that can be isolating and painful.  So even though the reason for the season hasn’t changed, our circumstances and feelings around it can vary widely. In this week’s episode, we talk about how Christmas has been complicated for us and how we navigate our differing emotions. 

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 167: I Don't Want To Be Late! (ICYMI #59)03 Dec 202400:23:55

One common source of marital contention is when one spouse is more interested in being on time than the other.   This simple difference can end up adding more tension to already stressful days.  In this episode, we share about growing love and unity even when we’re running late! 

 If you’re not 15 minutes early, you’re late.  That’s what they say, and I agree with them!  I really don’t like being late.  I’m sure some of that is a combination of some “fomo” plus I do like to respect people’s plans by being there at start time.   I can relax and feel less stressed when I’m early. 

But Joe doesn’t have the same dedication to being early.  He wants to be on time in a general sense. But he’s not going to hurry like a crazy person to make it happen. He’s the slow and steady, check-double-check kind of guy.  Everyone chill, we’ll get there when we get there.

No surprise that those differences cause conflict for us on those days we have somewhere to be.  Who’s right?   And how do we keep that conflict from hurting our marriage?

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 166: I Deserve... Part 226 Nov 202400:34:37

Do you ever feel like you deserve more than you’re currently getting in your marriage?  Look at the facts, it’s in the contract, I’m getting the short end of the stick and deserve just a little more.   Even though marriage involves a promise and even a legal document, feeling entitled will destroy the intimacy and connection in marriage.  In this episode, we share how we’re growing true gratitude in our marriage by eliminating the phrase, “I deserve”.

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 165: I Deserve... Part 119 Nov 202400:29:45

Have you ever thought, I don’t deserve this?  When you have experienced pain and suffering, you are often quick to think, I deserve better.  But the more we feel entitled to the good things that God has for us, the less we can truly appreciate them. In this week’s episode we share how understanding God’s grace and mercy helps move us to a place of true gratitude. 

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 164: Can You Give Me the Benefit of the Doubt?12 Nov 202400:34:17

Have you ever just wanted to be given the benefit of the doubt?   It feels awful when someone, especially your spouse, assumes the worst of you in a doubtful or unclear situation.  When it’s assumed that our intentions are off,  we get defensive and less likely to offer grace in return. This week we’re sharing how we’re learning to give each other benefit of the doubt and how to grow in grace in your marriage.  

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 163: We Get to Record a Podcast!05 Nov 202400:28:38

Behind Our Smiles just celebrated three years of podcasting! And over 160 episodes!!  Many listeners have asked us if we enjoy podcasting together (we do!) and where we find our topics for each episode.  This week we’re giving you a behind the scenes look at our podcast- how we plan our episodes and why we love spending time with you each week!  Thank you so much for listening these past three years! 

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 162: Vote For Me!29 Oct 202400:32:25

By this time in an elections season, we can become worn out from all the divisive rhetoric both from the politicians and their followers. Sometimes it makes you want to scream, can’t we all just get along?  Why is everyone talking and no one actually listening?  We can have similar issues in our marriages and relationships, where we become more and more polarized when someone doesn’t agree with us. Then we can fall into the same trap of divisive rhetoric and me-vs-you language that makes unity impossible. In this episode we share how we can find unity and consensus in our marriage so that we both win. 

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 161: Who's Under the Mask?22 Oct 202400:32:23

 As adults we may not dress up in costumes as often as our kids do.  But we do wear our own kinds of masks that keeps people from seeing who we really are.   In this week’s episode we’re sharing how to live without the masks and have more authenticity in our marriage.

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 160: Let's Have Coffee!15 Oct 202400:28:23

How do you feel when someone asks you to share a cup of coffee with them?  That request indicates that they want to connect with you and get to know you on a deeper level.  In our experience, coffee dates promote conversations that are both comforting, encouraging, and full of laughter.  Our marriages can benefit from coffee-fueled conversations too!! In this episode, we share from sharing about our daily habit of sharing a cup of coffee and how it strengthens our marriage!

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 159: This is a Silly Fight!08 Oct 202400:25:18

Sometimes conflict is necessary and other times we just need to pause and say, does this fight even make any sense?  We both want to be close an grow our connection… but we are sabotaging that very goal by fighting over something silly.  In this episode we’re working to avoid super silly arguments that serve no purpose but to divide us.

 

To connect with us on social media:

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 158: I'm Not In the Mood (ICYMI #56)01 Oct 202400:40:40

Sexual intimacy requires a vulnerability and giving of ourselves like nothing else that we share in our marriage.  Then throw in previous trauma, marital disconnection, and the demands of modern life, and it’s not surprising that we’re not always “in the mood”. In this episode, we talk about how we overcome our obstacles to sexual intimacy.

 

Content note: Although we do discuss the effects of trauma on sexual intimacy, there are no explicit descriptions of abuse or sexual activities. 

More resources:

J at Hot, Holy, and Humorous 

The Body Keeps the Score 

 

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 157: Whatcha Listening To?24 Sep 202400:13:30

Happy Fall!  Instead of bringing you a new episode of our podcast, we want to share with you some of the podcasts we’re listening to!  If you’re looking for other podcasts to binge on, these are a great start!

WowGod.com

Morning Focus Daily Devotional

Manly with Andy (The Sex Talk You Never Got w/ Sam Jolman)

I Love that Song (Consumed by Fire)

Mental Health w Dr. Mork  (Panic Attacks)

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 156: I'm an Internal Processor!17 Sep 202400:25:15

After an episode full of verbal processors, we’re letting Joe, our resident internal processor, respond to that conversation.  What exactly is going on inside the mind of a man who has less words to say? And why do steady men like him tend to not respond as expressively as their wives would like them to? What is the nothing box and how does it work?  We try to find the answers to those questions in this episode! 

 

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Episode 155: Behind Her Smiles - I'm a Verbal Processor!10 Sep 202401:02:25

Move over Joe, the ladies are talking- I mean taking over this episode!  Does your marriage have a dynamic with a very talkative, excitable wife, and a quiet, steady husband?  Verbal processor vs internal processor?? Then you’ll relate to the conversation I had with three of my friends who have similar marriage dynamics. 

But this is not an episode where the wives get together to complain about their husbands.  This is about celebrating the way God made them and learning how to extend grace and love them better. Even when they  don’t talk as much as we do. We hope you are encouraged and can laugh with us well! 

Hope’s YouTube Channel, Under the Median

Jennifer’s podcast, Living the Grace Life 

Listen to Kristy on weekends at WCIC 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 154: We Had A Lightbulb Moment! - Part 203 Sep 202400:30:03

We love to look back at those key moments that have radically changed the trajectory of our marriage- those times the lightbulb comes on and you’re able to see things more clearly.  Over our 27 years, there have been many lightbulb moments, most of which we wished we had had earlier!  In this episode we share some of those times in our marriage that we thought Aha!! 

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

Episode 153: I Had A Lightbulb Moment! - Part 127 Aug 202400:25:52

Have you ever experienced that A-ha!! moment? So often, we hit the same wall, again and again, until God gets a hold of us and A-ha! The light goes on.  We see what we were too blind to see before.  Ignorance to understanding.  In this episode we share about why we all need a good lightbulb moment!

 

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Email: tara@behindoursmiles.com

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