Back to the Barre – Détails, épisodes et analyse

"An interview chair is fun for five minutes, but for twelve hours? Like being in the room with Abby having to interview her, a solid 40% of the time being on her phone with her lawyer because she doesn't want to answer one of the questions I'm asking? Telling me that I should have spent 15 more minutes doing my hair and make-up or listening to the stupid people in my ear? It's just like constant berating AND I was hungover. So it was a little bit of a disaster on Tuesdays." It's a special day at Back to the Barre as Christi and Kelly welcome Dance Moms Producer Annie Leonard to sit down and answer some questions and to set some records straight. Annie also offers a frank reality check that while she's friendly with our lovely Bitches, it was ostensibly her job to ruin their lives when possible since you can't make good TV without some conflict!

What does the Producer's job look like day to day? What was the most difficult aspect of producing Dance Moms and how did it compare to other reality shows? Which moms were the easiest to work with and which ones made a producer's job difficult? The answer to that last one may surprise you, so tune-in to find out the answers to the se questions and more!

Quotes

• “There were a lot of things that we used to do in reality TV that you could get canceled for now. A lot of things on Dance Moms that you could get canceled for now. That's Dance Moms, every episode we did something we shouldn't have done." (04:49-05:01 | Kelly & Annie)
• “The EP gave this speech about not fraternizing with you guys and vice verca. I think there was some of that the season before and they were trying to curtail that or something? I think the fraternization was Kelly and I. Hehe, we were bad.” (13:26-13:40 | Christi, Kelly & Annie)
• “I felt like most of the time I was prepping Kelly she wasn't really listening to me. Ha, because I hated all of you!" (18:41-18:46 | Kelly & Annie)
• “[Cameraman] Eddie you could also tell he was a little bit of a partier. But he was holding his camera in the viewing room one day and one of our PAs was feeding him Top Ramen while he was filming. Which they loved." (26:30-26:44 | Annie)

Links

Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 

Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Follow Annie on IG: www.instagram.com/annebreiter

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"I'm a horrible human being. Well no you aren't you have cancer so you have a pass right? Isn't that the way it goes? Yeah, and this is the cancer episode!" Well now that Kelly has an excuse and Christi is still AWOL on the second half of the Dance Moms Cares Special, it should be smooth sailing from here with no more infighting. Right? Abby even has to step out to care for her mother, thereby giving the moms some Abby free time, things have to be smoothing sailing from here. Well it never is as easy as one would hope, this is Dance Moms after all!

The day of the competition arrives and the moms find themselves waiting in a gymnasium for a change, leading to some reminiscing about their days as cheerleaders. But the happy times are short lived as Leslie continues her stand-off with Kelly, whom she sees as an obstacle in Payton's path onto the team. The moms are still confused by Leslie's insistence that Payton be included, as she's clearly out of place with the rest of the girls in both height and age, but Leslie doesn't back down. The moms also point out that it isn't a fair match between Chloe and Payton since Payton has had months to prep her dance compared to Chloe's few days, but once again nothing will sway Leslie from getting her daughter the spot she feels she deserves.

Quotes

• “People ask all the time: Were these fans real or did production set them up? It's both. I think they came to see us but they gathered them all together so they were all in one spot when we arrived." (12:04-12:16 | Christi & Kelly)
• “Holly says this is a wonderful opportunity for the girls to express themselves using dance, give back to the community and hopefully find a cure for breast cancer. Which kid is looking for the cure? I don't know but one of you need to find it.” (14:38-14:51 | Christi & Kelly)
• “It was astounding when those kids won as much as they did because you are literally dancing against people who do nothing but the same dance over and over and over and over and over and over..." (23:29-23:43 | Christi)
• “Maddie gets first place for her solo...Maddie. Maddie gets Maddie, Maddie and Maddie gets Maddie in the first place for the Maddie category." (34:06-34:13 | Christi)

Links

Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 

Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

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"What do we do with [Broadway Baby]? Put a Big Mac inside of her!" jokes Kelly as after many months of waiting Abby finally is reunited with Broadway Baby's stuffed corpse on "The Dancing Dead". But as Christi and Kelly point out, it's pretty obvious that Broadway Baby got a bit more than a facelift at the taxidermist. While the show notes Baby has a new set of eyes, the fur looks remarkable whiter than when Baby was alive! If the fur isn't even Baby's... could you even call this Broadway Baby at all? Abby decides Baby needs a proper-Abby sanctioned tribute dance and bestows Nia with her first solo in many months, though with choreography that has Nia literally bouncing around on her butt it isn't exactly the comeback Holly hoped for.

Kelly makes her contractually mandated return this week as she "invites" the moms over to her house, with the exception of Melissa who is intentionally left out over her most recent actions over the break. While the moms can't convince Kelly to bring her kids back yet, she does "agree" to join the team on their trip to Xpression Dance Competition in Florida. Of course this doesn't sit well with Abby, who decides the best course of action is to block Kelly from sitting down during the show. Kelly responds in-kind by standing next to Abby for four hours, a full on Mexican standoff.

Elsewhere Kristie Ray begins to prep for Raising Asia and starts to stir the pot as best she can, even though as far as the other moms can tell she has no reason to do so!

Quotes

• “I swear to god I thought that was Abby. Just for a second I looked, did you see me get really scared? Oh my god I would die. Well they said she wasn't here not long ago. And you're like, 'Today?!' No not today.'” (4:53-5:02 | Christi & Kelly)
• “I say, 'I'm on the verge of needing a drink.' We're always on the verge of needing a drink. At this point I'm on the verge of needing it intravenous! Hey I got a port!'” (26:07-26:19 | Christi & Kelly)
• “They bring in broadway baby. That has new fur! That is not that baby's fur. No. I think it's like when someone switches a baby at the hospital, someone switched that dead dog!" (34:30-34:41 | Christi & Kelly)
• “If you ever want to see Kelly dance just AI her, cause she can't dance if there isn't choreography." (1:04:13-1:04:17 | Christi)

Links

Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 

Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre

Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510

Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak

Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“There are two good episodes of Chloe in ‘Dance Moms’ and this is one of them,” says Christi of the final episode of Season 1. In this episode, the girls and their moms are still in L.A., (although there is a “pickup” scene that is filmed in Studio B back in Pittsburgh and everyone had to pretend otherwise.) Chloe is chosen to portray the younger version of singer Lux in Lux’s music video, “It’s Like Summer.” This was really a competition between Chloe and Paige, and as Christi points out, Paige received high praise from producers and more camera time than even Chloe in the video’s final cut. Yet Dance Mom producers made it seem like another rivalry between Chloe and Maddie to amp up the drama.

Kelly and Christi finally find an “abbey” they like. They talk about visiting The Abbey, a West Hollywood institution and wonder, not for the first time, how a group of moms from suburban Pittsburgh ever found themselves in such a crazy situation. Back then, reality stars didn’t think to brand themselves or utilize social media the way they do now. Only a few years later, other cast members like JoJo Siwa, capitalized on the mistakes and missed opportunities of the show’s original core cast. 

Kelly and Christi continue to share hilarious anecdotes about being recognized in their early days of fame, when people still thought they knew the ladies from the bank or from church, but we’re still waiting to hear the story about naked pizza. 

Quotes

“Abby uses one of my favorite quotes, the one that reminds me of the night I got roofied: It’s every man for himself.’ She said that when I got roofied.” (13:37-13:48 | Christi)

“It’s really unfortunate that Chloe and I are featured a lot in this episode’s interviews because these are the worst interview looks Chloe and I have ever had so far.” (22:47-22:59 | Christi)

“We had the bows before JoJo had the bow-bow.” (24:49-24:51 | Christi)

“Melissa looks like she’s from ‘Little House on the Prairie’ in these episodes, except with fake boobs.’ (34:19-34:26 | Christi)

“We weren’t of that era. Now, when people get cast on shows they think, ‘How can I have this be on my social media? How can I leverage this? How can I brand this like JoJo with the bows?’ We had bows in every episode but JoJo had someone to brand her. And she was three years later, and watched us so she knew what to expect.” (39:13-39:37 | Kelly and Christi)

“No one knew what to do with us or our kids. It was just a totally different thing. Now, if you’re on TV you can say, ‘Here’s a link to my outfit.’ Then we just thought, ‘What isn’t dirty. What can I put on my body and just crawl into the dance studio and get through the day. We were not like that. The world wasn’t like that.” (40:52-41:19 | Christi)

“The kids spent 24/7 together, you didn’t really want to be in an argument with each other.” (42:42-42:48 | Kelly)

“I know everyone in the audience says, ‘You could have called and met with the producer Seven.’ No, I couldn’t. Just like I couldn’t go and meet with an acting coach because I was on a TV show, and I could only do what they allowed me to do.” (43:57-44:14 | Kelly)

“Let’s drink in honor of the kidnapper van. I wish it would kidnap me.” (47:43-47:48 | Kelly and Christi)

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“Before the show, I didn’t even know I rolled my eyes,” Christi says while recapping Episode 11 of Dance Moms. Christi’s eyes get as much of a workout this episode, which takes place in Lake Tahoe, as Chloe, whose dancing/filming schedule has been so punishing she’s starting to break down. When Abby sits the mothers down to give feedback about their daughters’ techniques, she says Chloe lacks confidence, not realizing her relentless criticism is the cause. She says Brooke and Paige are slow to comprehend things, and Kelly is quick to point out that Brooke is 13 and dancing with 6-year-olds, when she danced with senior girls as a 5-year-old. Brooke has several national title trophies, which Kelly tells Abby to shove up her ass. 

Kelly blows up in rehearsal because, once again, Maddie gets special treatment at the expense of Paige and Brooke. She regrets the times she got upset on camera because it let producers know what got under her skin and how to use it against her. Meanwhile Chloe and Maddie’s sweet exchanges backstage at the auditorium show how close the girls truly are without Abby’s negative and meddling influence. The moms had the same camaraderie with each other, despite producers only ever showing them fighting.

While filming these episodes, the moms were becoming more aware, in real time, of how they were being portrayed, what producers were up to, and how they needed to change their behavior in order to protect themselves and their daughters. Eleven years later, there are still regrets and fresh wounds, but ultimately a hard earned sense of humor about it all. 

Quotes

“It seems very glamorous. All these people who would come on and be featured and be told that they were amazing. They weren’t doing the grind like our kids. So, everyone thought it was super glamorous but when you really stepped into it, it was hard as hell.” (18:09-18:26 | Christi)

“I think that’s a little glimpse that you get into the moms. Even though the only interaction you see is us always fighting, we would sit upstairs for hours, and 90 percent of the time we laughed our asses off..” (23:50-24:04 | Christi)

“Normally, Abby is throwing us out. Last week she said, ‘You don’t need to be here, get out!’ Now, this week she wants us in. She probably wanted us to make costumes, honestly.” (25:49-26:03 | Kelly and Christi)

“I am just sheer misery on camera.” (30:16-30:19 | Christi)

“I don’t want my kids to be like Maddie and Chloe. I never cared if my kids got first place. My complaint always was good choreography that could compete and a good costume. I didn’t want to beat Chloe. I didn’t want to beat Maddie. And neither did they, they were always very happy for the others.” (32:45-33:04 | Kelly)

“The problem with our show is Abby had too much control. If there had been people behind the scenes–which we tried to get—an off-camera choreographer, an off-camera costume people and Abby wasn’t calling the shots on everything, (33:39-33:56 | Christi)

“Even for our kids to get good dances, the producers would have to almost kill Abby. They would have to bribe her, they would have to threaten her. (33:57-34:05 | Christi)

“They show a shot of me, and my eye roll is absolutely ludicrous. I have one eye closed, one eye in the back of my head. It looks like I’m having a seizure. (35:28-35:38 | Christi)

“Before the show, I didn’t even know I rolled my eyes.” (35:39-35:43 |Christi) 

“I’ve said this all along: When you have high expectations of someone, they rise to the occasion. When you’re constantly putting them down, then they feel like they’re a failure and can’t do it anyway, and think

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One thing Christi and Kelly understood very early on in filming the show was that they had a job to do. It was starring on ‘Dance Moms,’ complete with all of the personal and familial sacrifices that come with it. This was Abby’s job, too, though she fails to recognize this or act accordingly. Once again, the moms can be seen on camera signing paperwork (signing their lives away, Kelly jokes). It also means they realize for the first time this episode, they will have to deal with the wrath of crazy fans, even in a side alley in L.A. Guest choreographer Michael steps in to give Paige the attention and instruction that is Abby’s job to give. Kelly insists she would never hire Michael in real life, but had to listen to producer instructions. After all, she had a job to do. 

When it comes to her role as choreographer and star maker, however, Abby has always known exactly what she was doing. She has a power lunch with Maddie (who drinks her Shirley Temple from a martini glass) to discuss Maddie’s career. Abby later tells her the dance she’s about to perform will be the one that will make her a star. This dance is widely considered to be the one that inspired singer Sia to feature Maddie in her video ‘Chandelier,’ after which Maddie’s career was launched into the stratosphere. 

Eleven years on, the ladies continue to work hard to keep us as entertained in these recaps as they did on the show. Hear Christi detail that first encounter with a crazy Abby fan, why she and Holly were in an alley, how weed was involved, and what made Christi shit her pants, not once, but twice.

Quotes

“This is the first episode after the show premiered and you can totally tell that we’ve stepped up our glam.” (6:04-:6:11 | Christi)

“The producers like to make Abby look like she babysits our kids. Meanwhile, she never watched our kids, nor would we want her to.” (15:42-15:50 | Kelly)

“All of a sudden out of nowhere, in 14-inch stiletto platform pumps, Shangela hits the ground—boom!—in the death drop and we shit our pants.” (25:29-25:39 | Christi)

“No wonder Candy Apples was such a producer’s favorite because it’s almost like parody, the whole thing.” (30:40-30:48 | Christi) 

“One thing I was thinking is that Abby talked about what she gave up for the show. Well, we did, too. My ten-year-old is at home alone for the next month. I gave up things for the show, too.” (32:48-32:05 | Kelly)

“The minute I hear ‘Dream on a Star’ my heart squeezes. That is my favorite, it has a special place in my heart.” (41:19-41:34 | Christi)

“Then we have a weird interaction where Abby is talking to us like we’re humans. It’s weird.”(42:44-42:51 | Christi) 

“Abby goes on to say that it’s really unprofessional when one professional mocks another professional. But I’m thinking, ‘Isn’t it really unprofessional when a teacher mocks a student, too?” (55:22-55:34 | Christi)

“This might be the dance that Sia saw and decided she was moved by Maddie, and wanted her in ‘Chandelier.’ Abby was completely right because she said this could change your life and it has. It did. Look at Maddie’s career, it’s incredible. So, Abby knew what she was doing, and we’ve always said that.” (59:58-1:00:17 | Christi)

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“I’m so fired up,” says Christi in regards to episode 9 of Dance Moms, “This is one of those episodes that I’m still pissed off about.” It’s the episode in which the crew heads to Las Vegas, where the girls do their dance routine as each of the seven deadly sins. Kelly and Christi agree the theme was simply a way for Abby to get another dig in at the girls, (e.g. Chloe is envious of Maddie and Brooke wastes her talent by being lazy). The women discuss the den of lust that was the Rumor, a sleazy and completely inappropriate hotel for young children to stay. Abby herself commits the other sins like gluttony (only filming with the girls in Rumor’s restaurant because there was ice cream involved), and she’s as full of wrath as ever for anyone who gets in her way. She even breaks some commandments as Kelly insists that Abby truly wants the girls to disrespect their parents, and she spreads false rumors about all of the mothers knowing the audience will automatically believe her.

This episode is also a watershed as it’s the first one where a group of new mothers come into Cathy’s Candy Apple studios trying to be like the “core four” Moms and Christi and Kelly agree it doesn’t work. The Moms visit an ice bar and as soon as they leave they attend the premiere of Dance Moms, which is pretty much the moment their lives completely change. Christi says the ice bar is her all time favorite moment as it’s the last time they were just Kelly, Christi, Melissa and Holly–four regular moms from Pittsburgh. 

Join the party to find out why the moms were escorted out of the premiere, and the two words that Christi shares with Kelly that will haunt them both for the rest of their lives. 

Quotes

“I think Abby would like none of the children in the world to have mothers, so she could just rule.” (12:36-12:43 | Kelly)

“It didn’t take much to make the girls happy, the producers should have done something every week to make them happy. It wouldn’t have been that difficult.” (31:21- 31:29 | Kelly)

“Kelly you say, ‘I’m so excited that the girls are seeing this, because it shows what they’ve been working for.’ And then the very next sentence is Liz telling us that she works topless.” (32:02-32:15 | Christi)

“The night we premiered we were still filming. We couldn’t even have the night that our show premiered off. We were working.” (37:48-37:59 | Kelly)

“Let me just say, the only way they got Abby to go down there was the ice cream. She was not babysitting our children. They said you have to come down and film for 15 minutes with ice cream sundaes, or she would not have been filming.” (39:02-39:17 | Kelly)

“To be fair, Holly was probably only drinking because she was trying to use the alcohol to kill any germs she picked up at Rumor.” (52:30-52:36 | Christi) 

“Abby tells us that I’m rude and arrogant and clueless. Funny though, Abby always talks about how I was smart and you had to watch me. It just goes to show that she knows that whatever she says, people will believe. And she says it a few other times in this episode about other things and it pisses me off because I think, ‘They’re you go, just saying shit people will believe just because you’re saying it.’” (56:28-56:53 | Christi)

“We always start off strong at the beginning of the seasons, and then halfway through, by Nationals, when we get to the New Orleans episode in Season 3, you see me in New Orleans, and you when you’re sitting on the dumpster at the end of Season 2. We look like we have been ridden hard and put away wet. It’s exhausting. Rough.” (1:03:47-1:04:17 | Christi)

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“This is the worst dance I’ve seen yet on ‘Dance Moms,’” says Christi of Episode 8, “We look like snowbirds coming down from Cleveland.” The dance in question featured Brandon, whose mother Diane, a longtime friend of the two and member of the ALDC studio, joins the podcast to describe her experience of filming. Diane and Brandon surprised everyone by showing up in Orlando. Brandon is joining the group dance, in which he plays a photographer to the girls’ models. He and Brooke have a ‘dating history,’ going back to when they were nine, and even a decade since the episode, Diane and Kelly are convinced they might still get married. Diane makes no secret about the rushed and dishonest nature of filming the show– revealing that she was instructed to cause premeditated drama. Christi fills in gaps in the narrative to address long standing fan questions.

Once again, the ethics of the show’s producers are brought into question. Throughout this episode the children are being shown in an adult light, which ranges from hilarious (Brooke reflecting on her major growth between 9 and 13), to disturbing (Abby’s ambiguous descriptions of Brooke and Brandon’s dancing; Maddie saying if she couldn’t dance, she’d kill herself). Christi explains her frustration that Cathy and Melissa got to break the rules inside and outside of the show, while she and Kelly honored the job they agreed to do and suffered the consequences for it. The watermelon game and its fallout highlight the differences in the way the moms parent, and in the way Melissa acts on and off camera. The three note the sad irony that these girls, once dubbed ‘the dream team,’ lost all of their technique due to the demands of filming the show that made them famous. The show generated fury from the dance community, further isolating the girls from the opportunities they were working so hard to obtain. 

Find out why Abby was furious that Brandon and Diane appeared on the show, why Chloe didn’t appear in this episode, and the haunting specter of Abby’s starfish ring. 

Quotes

“Child abductors are what I think of when I see those vans. Then I just think of ‘Dance Moms’ and I think, “Aghh!”(9:29-9:36 | Kelly)

“You see me in an interview say that I’m not shocked that Cathy isn’t here, she picks and chooses what she goes to. Which is such bullshit. Every week it’s that!” (10:21-10:35 | Kelly)

“I always tell people that doing a reality show is like walking through a haunted house: you don’t know what’s coming.” (23:52-23:58 | Christi)

“Seeing Abby in a hotel room is like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. It’s unnatural, it’s weird. It’s just weird to see her out of the dance studio.” (35:45-35:5 | Christi)

“We all had a life before ‘Dance Moms,’ and in Season 1 we were definitely figuring out how to make it all work. We had dropped everything. My business was totally kaput, Kelly’s son was at home. We were all making these huge sacrifices.” (36:38-36:58 | Christi) 

“Brooke has the best line ever: ‘I think Brandon still likes me, but I’ve moved on. I’m not the same as I was when I was nine years old.’” (43:52-44:00 | Kelly)

“Wouldn’t you like to see behind the scenes what Maddie has encountered between Melissa and Abby, if she doesn’t win? What has she endured behind the scenes from them? What do they say to her to cause her that much anxiety.”(1:07:38-1:07:58 | Diane)

“It wouldn’t be ‘Dance Moms’ without Melissa crying at a solo.”(1:08:47-1:08:49 | Christi)

“My daughter cannot buy anything with a star on it because of Abby’s starfish ring. There was this really pretty Dior bag with a beautiful star on it that Chloe wanted for Christmas. She said, ‘I can’t have that bag, I don’t want anything with a star, I have trauma from childhood about stars from that ring.’”(1:12:25-1:12:44 | Christi)

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On this episode of Back to the Barre, Kelly is operating with a broken hand. Without giving away any spoilers, it’s related to a pair of burst water boobs, and more loosely related to the time she fell into a manhole during filming. She and Christi are reviewing Episode 7 of Dance Moms, Titled “She’s a Fighter.” This was the first episode filmed since the show became a hit and was picked up for a new season, so everyone is about to head out on the road to film for the next six weeks. Their first stop is at a week-long competition which takes place at a casino, and so Abby expects everyone to pack a themed outfit for each day. Melissa discusses her relationship with her late mother, for whom Maddie is dancing in tribute. Abby continues to be unfair (and culturally insensitive) to Nia. It only serves to bring out Nia’s sweet nature, and what would become Holly’s trademark gracious indignation. Vivi continues to foil Cathy’s pretentiousness with her deadpan honesty. Abby’s studio continues to be an unsanitary “shithole,” and Kelly and Christi vow to mention it every episode.

A recurring source of frustration while filming the show was that the moms didn’t get a chance to respond against false accusations–neither from Abby nor from producers. Abby accused them of not paying their bills, and production never showed the women’s response setting the record straight. During confrontations, Abby talked over everyone and walked out before anyone could get a word in. Kelly expresses sadness over the deterioration of her family’s long, close relationship with Abby. Christi says that the show would have been so different if it showed all the light moments they enjoyed, where the girls were just having fun. 

Join the party to find out why Melissa was always telling Maddie to go to the bathroom, why they had to wear the same clothes day after day, and what Holly carried in all of those big bags.

Quotes

“Holly was holding her bag again in Pyramid. I think she doesn’t want to leave it in the den because it’ll end up full of ants. I swear to God.” (13:49-13:59 | Christi)

“Abby says, ‘I’m proud, and I don’t say that often.’ And we’re like, ‘You’re right, you don’t.’ And she’s also proud of the moms because we kept our mouths shut.” (15:00-15:09 | Christi)

“And then we get the interview of Abby, and she’s glowing! And she says, ‘Maddie is doing a breathtakingly beautiful lyrical routine in a stunning white costume.’ I think she creamed her jeans.” (21:50-22:03 | Christi)

“Remember she told me I wasn’t paying my bills? They always cut out our responses. My bill was paid a year in advance.”(28:53-29:04 | Kelly)

“My cousin works for the police, and they were down there because they knew I was on the show, and they said that Abby was such a pain in the ass. She was always calling them there for stupid shit. They think she’s ridiculous.” (29:19-29:41 | Kelly) 

“Abby has her stack of papers. That is her move. She feels important when she comes in with her folder of papers. And she doesn’t let you speak first, she just goes at you, so you don’t have a chance to tell her what you think. She just goes at you with these papers. And when you’re responding to her, she just walks out.”(30:39-30:56 | Christi)

“Vivi is a mood. All day, every day.”(35:01-35:04 | Christi)

“Abby always asks why our kids look dumbfounded. It’s because they have to respond to dumb shit!” (36:43-36:49 | Christi)

“Nobody else would have ever gone up to Abby while she was sleeping and put a gummy worm in her mouth, but my kids were close enough to her that they would do that kind of stuff because they had that kind of relationship. It’s just sad for me to see that we had that kind of relationship in Season 1 and then coming to 2 and 3, that ends. It’s sad.” (49:01-49:20 | Kelly)

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Best friends Kelly and Christi are back! Today they are reviewing Episode 6 of their hit show Dance Moms called “Dying to Dance” (a title which they both agree is messed up.) It refers to the dance “Where Have All the Children Gone,” (which Christi nicknamed The Seven Dwarves of Suicide”) that the girls are performing this week, one of the most beloved by the company and viewers alike. Christi continues to point out more instances of “frankenbits,” where different moments of recording are spliced together to put words in people’s mouths, creating a false narrative for the audience. When they arrive at the competition, Brooke doesn’t have a costume. Cathy offers Brooke Vivianne’s but then takes it away only minutes before Brooke is scheduled to perform.

Meanwhile, it’s Kelly’s 40th birthday, and at Cathy’s passive aggressive urging, the ladies all go to get Botox. The women later gather at Kelly’s house for a birthday celebration and though they never showed the fortune teller who came to the party, they did show Melissa telling the world that Kelly has never had an orgasm. Later, Abby’s dog Broadway Baby makes a cameo, and Christi and Kelly reveal that she used to feed the dog her own Nutrisystem meals and then tell everyone she lost three pounds. Christi gets bad news about her grandmother and she takes Chloe back to her childhood home.

Join the party to hear about Kelly’s long lost golfing days, what she would like to ask Cathy now, and what “greeking” is.

Quotes

“Remember Abby said that she’s adding a little edge, because abduction is not edgy enough she had to add a suicide to it.” (22:02-22:06 | Christi)

“Producers probably told Cathy to say something about my nose because they know I was really insecure about camera angles.” (43:04-43:11 | Christi)

“Just so you guys know who ask, ‘How can Kelly who is such good friends with Christi not know about her sisters?’ I do not have a relationship with either of my sisters, so I don’t talk about them.” (45:02-45:10 | Christi)

“That was the first time I said Spanx on TV, and honestly Spanx should have sponsored us for the amount of time we talked about them.” (45:39-45:45 | Christi)

“You can tell when the days are long and who’s at the end of the interviews by how crazy we look.” (48:15-48:20 | Christi)

“We always filmed at my house. And it was like, I have three kids, and filming all day, and you tell me when I’m leaving at 10:30 at night that you’re coming to my house at 8 in the morning. My son and my husband have been using it like a bachelor pad, so it’s a disaster. Ugh, I used to hate it. ” (49:16-49:35 | Kelly)

“I’m not the most love-y, touchy, feely kind of person and they have me come over and hug you and try to console you and I’m thinking, ‘Oh, you’ve got the wrong girl for this.” (56:49-57:00 “ | Kelly)

“Brooke probably knew…Usually the kids knew when something like us hugging and consoling was going on, sometimes it was bullshit. It wasn’t something major going on. At this point, your grandmother really was sick, but usually it wasn’t. So, the kids could have cared less what we were over there talking about, because they figured oh, it’s nothing.” (59:04-59:25 | Kelly)

“When Chloe started dancing you can hear Paige in the background go, ‘Come on, Clover!’ If you watch any episode, Paige is always in the wings cheering her friends on. And then when they come on and off, she’s always hugging them. She’s the ultimate hype girl.” (1:04:15-1:04:35 | Kelly and Christi

“When they leave Brooke is carrying Kenzie in the background, it’s cute. She says, “Come on, Kenz!’ and picks her up and carries her. You have to pay attention to the back, there’s a lot of cute stuff.” (1:19:13-1:19:23 | Christi)

“I actually loved Candy Apple weeks because I knew Abby was going to leave me alone.” (1:23:56-1:24:01 | Christi)

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