Dive into the dark complexities of Aileen Wuornos's life in this thought-provoking installment of our 'Anatomy of Evil' series. This episode transcends the usual true crime sensationalism, offering a deep-dive into the psychological and societal factors that sculpted Wuornos's destiny. In this exploration, I unravel Aileen's turbulent early life, spotlighting the profound impact of her family dynamics—particularly the roles of her absent father and abusive grandfather. We delve into how these critical relationships, combined with societal neglect, forged a psyche ripe for turmoil. Unlike the typical narrative, this episode leverages psychological theories like Jungian archetypes to decode Aileen's actions, providing a nuanced perspective on her as the 'warrior' fighting against her 'shadow' self.

As we dissect her life further, we uncover how Aileen's relationship with Tyria Moore influenced her descent into criminality. We analyze the dynamics of their partnership through the lens of trauma bonding, highlighting how this relationship not only offered solace but also propelled Aileen towards her tragic fate. This episode also casts a critical eye on the sensationalist media portrayal of Aileen, contrasting it with her own stark perceptions of being exploited by a system that she felt was rigged against her from the start. This episode promises unique insights into lesser-discussed aspects of Aileen's story, such as her critique of the justice system and her prophetic warnings about societal collapse. By tuning in, you'll gain a deeper understanding of the intricate web of factors that can lead to criminality—a narrative that challenges the simplicity of the 'monster' stereotype. Join me in this meticulous unpacking of Aileen Wuornos’s life, where we go beyond the headlines to discover the real story hidden beneath. If you're captivated by the psychological underpinnings of criminal behavior and the societal constructs that influence it, this episode is essential listening. 

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 – 53:27.22: PART 1 (Introduction to Aileen Wuornos, her early life, family dynamics, psychological development, and societal influences)

53:27.22 – 01:52:29.54: PART 2 (Manifestation of criminal behavior, her relationship with Tyria Moore, societal and systemic influences, media portrayal, final reflections, and broader implications)

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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this episode, you’ll join me for an interview with author, screenwriter, and activist Rose Cartwright, whose battle with disturbing intrusive thoughts initially led her to a diagnosis of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. However, after rising to fame through a seeming liberation due to her diagnosis, she found herself at a crossroads that led her to drastically rethink healing and mental health.

A profoundly transformative moment at a silent meditation retreat during a personal dark night of the soul would mark the beginning of a new chapter. It was here where Rose encountered a profound silence that opened the door to exploring altered states of consciousness. This experience led her to the unconventional path of psychedelic therapy, where she found revelations and healing outside the rigid diagnostic frameworks of traditional mental health.

Throughout our conversation, Rose and I dive into how she moved beyond the biomedical model and labels that once defined her. From her initial diagnosis to her courageous exploration of psychedelics, Rose's journey illustrates a profound shift from seeing herself through the lens of disorder to embracing a spiral upward, becoming more truly herself while alchemizing the pain of her childhood.

My hope for listeners is that this episode will serve as an invitation to rethink what it means to truly heal. For anyone questioning conventional mental health approaches and finding themselves stuck at a crossroads and overcome by psychological suffering, Rose's story will offer a radical perspective on embracing the full complexity of the human experience.

REFERNECES: 

✧ Rose’s new book: “The Maps We Carry: Psychedelics, trauma and our new path to mental health”

✧ “I was the poster girl for OCD - Then I began to question everything I’d been told about mental illness” (article by Rose Cartwright via The Guardian)

✧ Knots by R.D. Laing

✧ We've Had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy--And the World's Getting Worse by James Hillman

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Join me for a conversation with Laila Mickelwait, a fearless anti-human-trafficking activist and the author of the newly released book, Takedown: Inside the Fight to Shut Down PornHub, a gripping account of her journey to expose and dismantle what she describes as ‘not just a porn site’ but a ‘crime scene.’ Throughout our conversation, which was her very first interview just days before her book was published, Laila sat down with me to share how her years of advocacy led her to uncover the disturbing practices of PornHub and its parent company, Mindgeek and how these ‘ubiquitous sex crimes remained hidden in plain sight for over a decade.’ Together, we’ll dive into the stories of victims and whistleblowers, the shocking lack of moderation on the site itself, illegal and non-consensual content, and how PornHub harvests user data.

Laila's story is not just about exposing sex crimes and systemic failures but also about the incredibly transformative power of grassroots movements, strategic litigation, and public pressure. She shares practical steps on how you can get involved and support the ongoing fight to make the internet safer for future generations.

This issue goes beyond politics and ideologies, attracting ardent support even from within the adult film industry. As Laila puts it in her book, ‘This fight for justice isn’t just about a website and pixels on a screen. It is about real, living, breathing, feeling human beings—people who have been severely harmed by those who abused them, and by the men running this website that is immortalizing their trauma.'

TIME STAMPS:

★ Intro + Takedown book trailer: 00:00 – 07:24

★ Interview with Laila Mickelwait: 07:24 – 01:23:25

RESOURCES:

★ Order your copy of the book at https://takedownbook.com/

★ Connect with Laila at https://lailamickelwait.com/

★ Click here to sign the Traffickinghub petition [over 2.3m signatures as of July 2024]

★ Click here to join Team Takedown to donate to the Justice Defense Fund

★ Click here to read my full review of Laila’s book on my Substack

VICTIM SUPPORT: If you are a victim of online sexual exploitation and want information about possible legal assistance options fill out the form at https://justicedefensefund.org/#find-help.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

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What is this sneaky, yet destructive thing called toxic shame, and could it be the root cause of our continued suffering and emotional dysregulation? Toxic shame lies at the heart of most self-sabotaging behaviors that keep us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and disconnected from others. Signs of internalized toxic shame can manifest in various ways and differ from person to person. Persistent feelings of unworthiness, negative self-talk, perfectionism, fear of vulnerability and intimacy, difficulty setting boundaries, chronic self-consciousness, avoidant behaviors, negative body image, and emotional instability can all be indicators of toxic shame. This is part five in a multi-episode series aimed at helping you alchemize and transmute your toxic shame. In this episode, we will explore the devastating impact on our lives when internalized toxic shame becomes our state of being. We will also dive into the different ways abandonment can present in childhood through physical abuse, emotional abandonment, and deprived narcissism.

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 – 11:24: Intro + reading of my poem “untethered” (the impact of toxic shame in my own life)

11:24 – 14:53: How toxic shame becomes a permanent state of being

14:53 – 19:35: Understanding the connection between toxic shame and abandonment trauma

19:35 – 36:32: Abandonment as physical absence

36:32 – 01:06:24: Abandonment as emotional neglect and deprived narcissism

01:06:24 – 01:12:57: Abandonment as physical abuse

PREMIUM PORTION: In the Premium half of the episode, I discuss my personal healing journey and the positive impact Somatic Experiencing therapy is having on my life. We finish up with a guided pendulation exercise inspired by the work of Peter Levine.

01:12:57 – 01:48:16: How somatic experiencing is helping me get back into my body

01:48:16 – 02:01:50: Guided pendulation exercise inspired by the work of Peter Levine (creator of Somatic Experiencing)

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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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This is part four of our multi-episode series aimed at helping you alchemize and transmute your toxic shame. In this episode, we’ll dive into the generational aspect of toxic shame and how it gets passed down and embedded into dysfunctional family systems. We’ll also discuss the various roles and rules in shame-based families and the pervasive impact this has on children in adulthood.

Check out the time stamps below for a more detailed description of the topics covered in this episode.

00:00 – 05:14: Intro + reflections

05:00 – 18:07: How toxic shame sabotages our most important relationships

18:07 – 33:13: A case study of how toxic shame gets passed down throughout generations

33:13 – 48:54: Exploration of the various dysfunctional family roles and their characteristics 

48:54 – 01:09:54: Multi-generational shame cycles (how children develop toxic shame)

01:09:54 – 01:30:53: Dysfunctional rules in shame-based families

01:30:58 – 01:36:57: How to become more fully human with the “five freedoms” of Virginia Satir

01:46:37 – 01:59:46: Guided meditation and affirmation session to transmute toxic shame

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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This is part THREE in our multi-episode series aimed at helping you alchemize and transmute your toxic shame. First, we confront the detrimental effects of toxic shame, its correlation with personality disorder labels, and its potential role in criminal behavior. We’ll also tackle how unprocessed toxic shame from childhood can manifest as traits of grandiose narcissism, causing individuals to seek validation through exaggerated self-importance. Finally, we’ll discover how the burden of shame can stifle our spiritual growth and impede our quest for self-discovery and our connection with others. Tune in to this captivating episode as we uncover the deep-rooted effects of toxic shame on our psyche and gain insights into how we can heal and reclaim our authentic selves.

Check out the time stamps below for a more detailed description of the topics covered in this episode:

00:00 – 07:18: Reflecting on what we’ve learned so far and an introduction to this episode’s topics

07:19 – 19:46: Toxic shame and personality disorder labels

19:38 – 34:41: Toxic shame and guilt in criminal behavior (recidivism prediction)

PREMIUM | My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health – “head-fucked by perfectionism (ft. a very special surprise guest)”

34:37 – 37:00: Toxic shame and sexual abuse (will be expanded upon in a further episode)

37:00 – 45:17: How unprocessed toxic shame from childhood can lead to feelings of grandiosity (grandiose narcissism)

45:17 – 49:25: Toxic shame and spiritual starvation

49:25 – 59:24: The dehumanizing quality of toxic shame

59:00 – end: [PREMIUM PORTION] My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health – “head-fucked by perfectionism (ft. a surprise appearance by my partner Zaz)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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This is part two in a multi-episode series aimed at helping you alchemize and transmute your toxic shame.What is this sneaky, yet destructive thing called toxic shame, and could it be the root cause of our continued suffering and emotional dysregulation? Toxic shame lies at the heart of most self-sabotaging behaviors that keep us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and disconnected from others. Signs of internalized toxic shame can manifest in various ways and differ from person to person. Persistent feelings of unworthiness, negative self-talk, perfectionism, fear of vulnerability and intimacy, difficulty setting boundaries, chronic self-consciousness, avoidant behaviors, negative body image, and emotional instability can all be indicators of toxic shame.

Check out the time stamps below for a more detailed description of the topics covered in this episode: 

00:00 – 05:56: Reflections from part one

05:56 – 11:06: Why discuss toxic shame? 

11:06 – 16:50: Shame and guilt in neurosis 

16:50 – 28:52: How childhood shame shapes adult identity

28:52 – 33:03: Understanding traumatic shame and abandonment

33:03 – 37:47: How toxic shame disconnects and freezes you out from your own needs and desires

37:47 – 46:42: How self-shaming = self-alienation

46:42 – 49:02: Toxic shame as the core of codependency

49:02 – 52:18: Toxic shame as related to BPD or ‘borderline personality disorder’ 

52:18 – 59:19: The role of toxic shame in addiction 

59:19 – 01:10:11: How are guilt and toxic shame related? 

PREMIUM | 01:10:19 – 01:37:32: My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health – “Out of My Head and Into My Body”

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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What is this sneaky yet destructive thing called toxic shame, and could it be the root cause of our continued suffering and emotional dysregulation? Toxic shame lies at the heart of most self-sabotaging behaviors that keep us feeling empty, unfulfilled, and disconnected from others. Signs of internalized toxic shame can manifest in various ways and differ from person to person. Persistent feelings of unworthiness, negative self-talk, perfectionism, fear of vulnerability and intimacy, difficulty setting boundaries, chronic self-consciousness, avoidant behaviors, negative body image, and emotional instability can all be indicators of toxic shame. This is part one in a multi-episode series aimed at helping you alchemize and transmute your toxic shame. Check out the time-stamps below for a more detailed description of the topics covered.

TIME STAMPS

00:00 – 13:48: How mythical interpretations of journeys “into the underworld” can help us understand the process of alchemizing toxic shame

13:48 – 17:56: Shame as myth and allegory

17:56 – 32:50: How toxic shame impacts our sense of Self

32:50 – 37:23: Can shame be healthy?

37:23 – 49:04: When do we develop a sense of shame in childhood? (Psychosocial stage 2)

49:04 – 52:16: Shame as embarrassment

52:16 – 55:21: Shame as shyness

52:21 – 59:12: Shame and community

59:12 – 01:03:07: Shame as a spark for creativity

01:03:07 – 01:05:31: How shame is viewed from a spiritual perspective

01:05:31 – 01:13:23: What happens if we don’t develop a sense of healthy shame? (Shamelessness and its impact on our lives)

01:13:23 – 01:49:10 – Control as a trauma response (how chronic trauma can lead to controlling or caretaking behaviors)

01:49:10 – 01:56:15: Heart opening + shame reduction mantras / affirmations

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this transformative episode, we go beyond understanding the mother and father wounds to explore how we can actually heal from them. With insights from Eastern spirituality and grounded practices, this episode provides a blueprint for addressing the lingering impact of parental wounds, empowering you to cultivate a deeply rooted sense of self, peace, and inner resilience. If you’ve ever wondered how to truly heal from the past and reclaim the parts of yourself that felt lost, this episode is a powerful place to start. We begin with an exploration of "family constellations therapy," unearthing the hidden patterns we inherit and untangling what Eastern philosophy calls samskaras—the karmic knots that keep us bound to past wounds.

Episode Highlights:

• 00:00 – 12:00 | Intro + reflections on mother and father wounds: listener insights and the groundwork for self-healing
• 14:17 – 21:00 | Family Constellations Therapy: Seeing how ancestral and family patterns influence us in subtle, powerful ways
• 21:07 – 32:36 | Karmic knots and samskaras: How our emotional pain can transcend generations, and how to begin releasing it
• 32:26 – 42:55 | Buddhist philosophy and mindfulness as tools for healing parental wounds: slowing down, observing, and finding freedom
• 42:55 – 50:48 | Making healing a yogic practice: turning inner work into a sacred journey of integration and self-compassion
• 50:48 – 55:17 | Hidden roadblocks: Misunderstandings that may be keeping you stuck in cycles of self-blame or resentment
• 55:17 – 59:24 | The Four Core Functions of Parenting: Nurturing, Protection, Empowerment, and Initiation
• 59:15 – 01:02:07 | Mother and Father as Nurturer: Learning to nurture yourself and provide what was once missing
• 01:02:07 – 01:07:24 | Mother and Father as Protector: Cultivating a safe, strong inner space where you can truly rest and trust yourself
• 01:07:24 – 01:17:22 | Mother and Father as Empowerer: Finding strength to claim your voice, pursue your goals, and live authentically
• 01:17:22 – 01:28:11 | Mother and Father as Initiator: Awakening your sense of purpose and meaning, and moving into a life of self-leadership

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

- Connected Fates, Separate Destinies: Using Family Constellations Therapy to Recover from Inherited Stories and Trauma by Marine Sélénée

- The Wounded Woman: Healing the Father-Daughter Relationship by Linda Schierse Leonard

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

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In this deep-dive episode, we unravel the complex and often misunderstood concept of "daddy issues"—a term that has been trivialized and sensationalized in popular culture. But beneath the stereotypes lies a significant psychological impact that can shape a person’s life in profound ways. Whether we label it as the "father wound" or simply recognize it as the lingering effects of a strained or absent father figure, these unresolved issues can ripple into our adult relationships, self-worth, and emotional resilience.

Together, we explore the father wound beyond the clichés, examining how it manifests in both men and women, its roots in societal expectations, and its distinct differences from the mother wound. From "father hunger" and feelings of abandonment to the ways cultural stereotypes keep men and women alike stuck in cycles of pain, this episode offers both insight and practical guidance on how to start the healing journey. Through storytelling, poetry, and guided introspection, this episode provides tools to understand and begin addressing the father wound—an important step towards self-compassion, healthier relationships, and emotional freedom. 

TIME STAMPS

00:00 – 04:05: Intro + reflections (why explore the father wound?)

04:00 – 17:54: What is the father wound?

17:58 – 21:25: How it feels to struggle with an unhealed father complex (poem snippet by Marcus Lee)

21:25 – 24:10: High-level description of the father wound and how it presents

24:10 – 31:20: Father hunger, father absence, father deficit

31:20 – 43:19: The impact the unhealed father wound has on well-being and relationships and how it contributes to the cycle of abuse

43:19 – 01:00:44: How the father wound manifests in our daily lives as adult children

01:00:44 – 01:08:30: What is the difference between the mother and father wounds?

01:08:30 – 01:11:32: How societal expectations and cultural stereotypes keep men stuck in the father wound

01:11:42 – 01:20:09: Masculine expressions of an unhealed father wound

01:20:09 – 01:34:54: Feminine expressions of an unhealed father wound

01:34:55 – 01:42:47: Is the Industrial Revolution to blame for the father wound? (spoiler alert: it’s complicated)

01:42:47 – 01:48:30: Psychology of the Father Archetype

01:48:30 – 01:55:44: Fathers in mythology and symbolism (exploring our need for heroes and villains)

01:55:44 – Practical suggestions and techniques for father wound healing

02:08:46 –02:17:48: HEALING SEGMENT - Getting into the meditative state

02:17:48 – 02:37:18: Father wound healing visualization exercise (inspired by the work of Virginia Satir)

02:37:18 – 02:52:48: Final reflections, where Mollie is at in her current healing journey, additional thoughts + recommendations regarding the father wound

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this powerful and deeply personal episode, we journey into the raw and often hidden layers of the "Mother Wound." This is more than a psychological concept; it’s an emotional inheritance of unresolved pain, abandonment, and unfulfilled needs that many of us carry from our childhood into adulthood, shaping our relationships, self-worth, and the way we view the world. If you've ever felt that lingering ache from unmet maternal love, or if you’ve struggled to break free from self-sabotaging patterns rooted in early wounds, this episode is for you.

Starting with a grounded exploration of the Mother Wound, we look at how these core wounds can manifest, ways to recognize their impact on your daily life, and how to begin the healing journey. We draw on insights from Bethany Webster, philosopher Alan Watts, and ancient myth to illuminate how generational pain influences us and, most importantly, how we can reclaim our wholeness. From guided visualizations and re-parenting exercises to the archetypal power of the Divine Mother, this episode is a space to start releasing what no longer serves you and to reconnect with your authentic self.

Time-Stamps and Episode Highlights:

Part 1 - What is the Mother Wound?

• 02:00 – 10:17: Introduction to the Mother Wound
• 10:23 – 54:49: In-depth exploration of how the Mother Wound manifests in our lives and relationships

Part 2 - Healing Through Age Regression and Re-Parenting Tasks

• 54:51 – 58:40: Preparing for guided healing exercises and visualizations
• 59:00 – 1:09:20: Meditative connection to the Mother Wound, inspired by the words of Alan Watts
• 1:09:21 – 1:13:40: Re-parenting practices to nurture your inner child
• 1:13:45 – 1:29:07: Inner infant age regression: reconnecting to early unmet needs

Part 3 - Embracing the Divine Mother in Myth and Mysticism

• 01:29:13 – 01:33:03: The story of Demeter and Persephone and the archetype of the nurturing mother
• 01:33:05 – 1:58:08: Healing the Mother Wound through myth, archetypes, and the subconscious: reframing the hero’s journey as a path to self-acceptance and wholeness

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

★ https://www.bethanywebster.com/ [download her free mother wound healing pdf]

★Article: “You are more myth than science” by Dr. Mia Hetenyi

★ Book: Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child by john bradshaw

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this inspiring episode, we dive into a vision of education that could reshape how future generations learn, connect, and thrive. At just 15, Zelda Poem felt the weight of a system that wasn’t designed to nurture individuality or emotional well-being. She took a courageous step and left school at 16, setting out to revolutionize education. Since then, she’s become a published author, trained in art therapy, empathic communication, and psychology, and advised various EdTech initiatives. Her current project, “Tomorrow’s School,” is a collective art gallery dedicated to reimagining education as a supportive, holistic, and personalized experience.

Zelda and I explore the deep-rooted issues within today’s public school systems in both the U.S. and Europe, and discuss the kind of paradigm shift needed to create schools that focus on emotional regulation, creative exploration, and individual growth. We touch on how AI might play a role in this transformation, offering tailored learning experiences and enhanced support for students, while also weighing its potential risks.

Key Topics and Questions Explored in This Episode:

• Systemic Issues in Public Education: Analyzing the negative effects of current educational structures on student well-being and learning potential.
• The Future of Education: Zelda’s insights on creating schools that prioritize community, individualized learning, and emotional support over rote memorization and testing.
• AI in the Classroom: Discussing how AI can enhance personalized learning, its benefits for educational outcomes, and the limitations of relying solely on technology for teaching.
• Fostering Creativity and Critical Thinking: Practical strategies for parents and teachers to nurture a child’s natural curiosity, creativity, and resilience in a world that often prioritizes conformity.
• Supporting Sensitive Students: Guidance on how to help highly sensitive or neurodivergent children navigate traditional school settings and manage the emotional challenges they may face.

Zelda’s story is a reminder that true change often begins with a willingness to challenge the status quo. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, student, or lifelong learner, this conversation offers valuable insights on creating educational spaces where every child can feel seen, supported, and inspired to follow their passions.

Listen in for a glimpse into what education could look like when we dare to imagine something better.

Connect with Zelda: Visit Zelda’s website, where you can read about her work and connect with her on her various social media platforms (click here)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this listener Q&A episode, we explore profound and complex themes around self-identity, relationships, forgiveness, and the search for emotional stability. Each listener brings a unique perspective and challenge, from grappling with the Buddhist concept of “no-self” to navigating the difficult terrain of forgiveness and dependency in relationships. Join us as we delve deep into these topics, offering insights that could reshape how you approach your mental health and interpersonal connections.

Episode Highlights:

• Priyasha’s Journey with “No-Self” and Identity (03:34): In Dubai, Priyasha reflects on her struggle to “find a sense of self” as she works through the symptoms of her BPD diagnosis. We explore how Buddhist principles, especially the concept of “anatta” or “no-self,” can provide a path to self-understanding, particularly in the realm of emotion dysregulation and how these ideas have been adapted into DBT.

• Allison’s Experience of Isolation after Suicide Attempts (25:08): Allison feels like her friends and family are pulling away after her recent suicide attempts, leading her to question the roots of her distress and the concept of emotional boundaries. We dive into topics like emotional vampirism, trauma-dumping, and ways to express vulnerability without overwhelming loved ones.

• Gia’s Struggle with Forgiveness and Past Trauma (52:17): Gia wrestles with forgiving her childhood caregivers while still feeling triggered by their presence as an adult. We touch on the nature of “magical thinking” in trauma recovery, the pitfalls of “going back to the empty well,” and how to approach forgiveness as a self-healing tool rather than an obligation.

• Fae’s Conflicted Feelings in Relationships (01:13:26): Fae finds herself developing crushes on friends while in a committed relationship, stirring up feelings of guilt and confusion. We examine the “Favorite Person” phenomenon often discussed in the BPD recovery community, the risks of objectifying others for emotional regulation, and strategies for creating emotional independence and balance in relationships.

This episode invites you to rethink how you relate to yourself and others, offering both practical guidance and deep reflection on managing emotional triggers, identity, and the pursuit of genuine self-acceptance. Tune in for an intimate, empathetic exploration of recovery and personal growth.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Join me for a transformative journey with Dr. Judy Tsafrir, a board-certified psychiatrist, Harvard Medical School faculty member, and a visionary in the field of mental health. A recipient of the 2024 Silver Nautilus Award for her groundbreaking book, "Sacred Psychiatry: Bridging the Personal and Transpersonal to Transform Health and Consciousness," Dr. Tsafrir brings a unique perspective shaped by her background as the daughter of Holocaust survivors. This deep personal connection to generational trauma has profoundly influenced her holistic approach to mental health care.

In this episode, Dr. Tsafrir discusses her transition from traditional to holistic psychiatry, integrating spiritual, environmental, and physical healing practices. She shares insights on the limitations of conventional psychiatry, which often relies heavily on pharmaceuticals and overlooks the holistic integration of the spiritual, emotional, and physical dimensions of health. Her comprehensive method includes extensive initial consultations to understand the deep-rooted causes of her patients' ailments, who often find her after being disillusioned with mainstream psychiatric approaches. Dr. Tsafrir is passionate about addressing Environmentally Acquired Illnesses (EAI), such as mold toxicity, a frequently unrecognized condition in conventional medicine with significant psychological and physical impacts. She elaborates on the extensive list of symptoms associated with mold toxicity and employs a multimodal approach to treatment, emphasizing diet, lifestyle changes, trauma healing, and community connection.

Moreover, Dr. Tsafrir engages with the existential questions that paralyze many of us—fears of death, impermanence, and loss. She criticizes societal tendencies to stigmatize those who confront these profound issues and praises the sensitivity needed to tackle such existential concerns. Throughout the episode, she discusses how embracing inevitable aspects of life such as aging, illness, and death can be transformative experiences. Tune in to gain invaluable insights into how the integration of heart, mind, body, and spirit can lead to a more fulfilling and healed life. Dr. Tsafrir shares strategies to foster resilience in a world facing ecological crises, offering a comprehensive look at how holistic practices can transform personal and global health.

✧ Click here to connect with Judy via her website (https://www.judytsafrirmd.com/)

✧ Click here to learn more about or purchase her book “Sacred Psychiatry: Bridging the Personal and Transpersonal to Transform Health and Consciousness”

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this episode, we tackle the complexities of emotion dysregulation and its deep-rooted ties to childhood emotional neglect and abuse. Many of us who grew up in chaotic or neglectful environments find ourselves craving love and connection yet struggling to maintain healthy, secure relationships. Through a Q&A format, I respond to listener questions and explore common patterns like overthinking, rumination, and drama addiction that often sabotage our chances for stability and connection. If you’ve ever found yourself caught in a cycle of self-sabotaging behavior, toxic relationships, or unresolved anger, this episode sheds light on why these patterns emerge and offers guidance on how to break free from them.

Episode Breakdown and Key Topics:

• Sophie’s Struggle with Rumination (08:11): We discuss why overthinking can make relationships feel doomed from the start, and how to break the cycle of anxious rumination.
• Anna’s Question about Leaving an Abusive Partner (16:50): Navigating the emotional turmoil of leaving an abusive relationship, and finding clarity on whether it was the right choice.
• Lauren’s Awkward Work Relationship Fallout (25:24): Tips for managing the discomfort and emotional fallout when a workplace romance doesn’t go as planned.
• Marina’s Reflection on “Abandonholics” and Drama Addiction (36:08): An exploration of the addictive nature of chaotic relationships, and why some of us are drawn to emotional highs and lows.
• Elinor’s Battle with Explosive Rage (01:11:27): Understanding the roots of uncontrollable anger and practical strategies to self-regulate in moments of intense emotion.

This episode offers a compassionate look at why we often feel drawn to self-destructive patterns and gives listeners actionable insights to foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Tune in to uncover the underlying forces at play and start building a life centered around true connection, rather than chaos.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this soul-stirring episode, we dive into the raw, resonant prose of Amanda Palmer’s article, What it feels like to get divorced—and possibly remarried—at TED 2023. This piece, originally shared on her Substack, captured my heart so profoundly that I wanted to read it aloud and share it with you, creating a moment of reflection for anyone struggling with life’s most complicated emotions. So brew a warm cup of tea, settle into your coziest spot, and let me read you some words that might help you feel a little less alone.

Through Palmer’s words, we explore themes of heartbreak, transformation, and resilience. She grapples with the disorienting aftermath of her divorce, the weight of parenting through tumultuous times, and the surreal experience of navigating these emotions against the backdrop of a TED conference. Palmer’s reflections on love, loss, identity, and belonging are both intimate and universal—giving voice to the raw edges of human experience.

Episode Highlights and Topics Discussed:

• Divorce and Reinvention: Palmer’s reflections on ending a marriage and the bittersweet hope of starting anew
• The Crisis of Belonging: Exploring humanity’s collective need for connection in a world increasingly defined by isolation
• The Power of Pain as a Teacher: Why embracing emotional pain, rather than numbing it, can foster growth and healing
• Mental Health in a Chaotic World: How Palmer’s honesty about grief, anxiety, and the complexities of parenting offers comfort to those facing similar battles
• The Fragility and Resilience of the Human Spirit: From ancient wisdom to modern struggles, how the desire for connection and self-acceptance remains timeless

TIME STAMPS

00:00 – 01:53: Intro

01:53 – 04:37: Why I chose to read the article on today’s episode / intro of Amanda Palmer and her work

04:37 – 50:06: Storytime reading of “What it feels like to get divorced—and possibly remarried—at TED 2023” by Amanda Palmer

50:06 – 51:26: Article reflections

51:45: Preview of SWSMH 19

BFTB BONUS: SWSMH #19 (preview): seeing the synchronicities: This week’s Stupid Walk is all about listening, but not in the way you’d expect. We’re diving into the concept of synchronicities. In psychology, synchronicity is defined as the occurrence of meaningful coincidences that seem to have no cause. During our walk, I’ll discuss examples of synchronicities in my own life and how they’ve shaped my recovery journey.

RESOURCES

·     “What it feels like to get divorced—and possibly remarried—at TED 2023,” full article by Amanda Palmer

·     Amanda Palmer’s Substack

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

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In this episode, we dive into the lasting emotional impact of childhood abandonment and neglect, a wound that can leave us feeling unworthy and disconnected well into adulthood. Set to calming medieval soundscapes, we explore how myths, fairy tales, and timeless stories hold profound insights for healing these deeply rooted scars. From the iconic tales of Cinderella and Vasilisa the Beautiful to the transformative journeys of heroes and heroines, we’ll examine how fairy tales reveal paths to resilience and self-discovery, even in the face of great loss.

The episode also features an excerpt from a powerful book that reframed my own perspectives on resentment and the weight of emotional burdens I’ve carried since childhood. Through these stories, we uncover how feelings of abandonment are universal—and how tales of magical godmothers, brave girls with enchanted dolls, and creatures from nature offer guidance for embracing our inner strength. Together, we’ll unravel how the themes of missing mothers, unfulfilled bonds, and wicked stepmothers symbolize the complex realities of human relationships, teaching us to confront our fears and embrace the parts of ourselves we often neglect.

Topics Covered in This Episode:

• How childhood abandonment impacts emotional well-being across a lifetime
• The symbolism of missing or absent mothers in folklore and fairy tales
• The mythological roots of resilience and how stories offer paths to self-worth
• An exploration of Carl Jung’s “shadow” concept and what fairy tale villains represent

TIME STAMPS:

00:00 - 3:56: Intro

3:56 - 50:13: Fear of Abandonment - Mothers in Fairy Tales

50:18: Preview of this week’s Premium Submarine Episode, “SWSMH 18: smash the peace button”

RESOURCES:

·     The Fear of Abandonment: Missing Mothers and Fairy Tales (article by Dale M. Kushner)

·     The Interpretation of Fairy Tales (C.G. Jung Foundation Books) by Marie Louise Von Frantz

·     The O Manuscript: The Seer, The Magdalene, The Grail by Lars Muhl

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

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Why am I here? What is my true purpose? If you’re feeling lost, stuck in a cycle of unfulfilling work, or questioning if there’s more to life than the 9-to-5 grind and occasional vacation, you’re not alone. Many of us are living on autopilot—choosing careers based on survival rather than passion, trapped by societal expectations, and rarely considering what a life of true purpose might look like.

In this episode, we’ll explore the ancient Japanese philosophy of Ikigai, a concept that translates to “reason for being”. Ikigai encourages us to look inward and discover what brings us joy, aligns with our strengths, and allows us to contribute to the world in a meaningful way. This isn’t about quick fixes or surface-level career advice; it’s about peeling back the layers to uncover the unique calling that only you can fulfill.

Through this exploration, you’ll discover:

• How Ikigai can help you define a life purpose that goes beyond the day-to-day grind
• The core elements of Ikigai and how they interconnect: passion, mission, profession, and vocation
• Practical steps for aligning your talents, passions, and work with a purpose that resonates on a soul level
• Ways to break free from society’s expectations and live intentionally
• How Ikigai bridges personal growth and spiritual meaning, transforming your life from mere survival to deep fulfillment

Imagine a life where your actions feel aligned with your values, where your work feels like an extension of your true self, and where every day brings a sense of contribution and joy. Discovering your Ikigai could be the key to that life. Dive in and take the first step toward a deeper, more meaningful existence.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Deepfakes have become an unsettling phenomenon in recent years, rising from niche technology to a widespread cultural issue that affects millions. While deepfakes hold potential for media and innovation, the darker side of this technology is alarming. AI-powered deepfake porn, specifically targeting women, threatens their sense of self-control, consent, and safety in the digital world. Victims are forced to see their likeness in explicit content they never agreed to, leaving lasting emotional trauma.

In January 2023, this issue gained global attention when popular Twitch streamer Brandon “Atrioc” Ewing accidentally revealed that he had viewed and paid for deepfake porn of fellow female creators without their consent. One of those creators, QTCinderella, responded publicly, shedding light on the devastating impact non-consensual deepfake porn can have on victims. This incident triggered national conversations around consent, safety, and the urgent need for legal protections.

In this episode, we explore the troubling implications of deepfake technology on privacy and autonomy, using the Atrioc controversy as a case study. From the legal loopholes that make deepfake porn hard to combat to the emotional toll on victims, we’ll delve into how this technology magnifies the sexualization of women, often with no legal recourse or protection. By the end of the episode, you’ll have insight into the evolving digital landscape, the necessity of safeguards, and the steps you can take to protect yourself and loved ones in the face of AI’s rapid advancements.

Topics discussed in this episode:

• The Atrioc deepfake controversy: how it unfolded and its implications
• What is a deepfake, and how is AI used to create it?
• Legal and ethical issues surrounding non-consensual deepfake content
• How deepfake porn escalates the objectification and sexualization of women in disturbing ways
• Emotional and psychological effects of deepfake revenge porn on victims
• UNFPA’s “bodyright” campaign and other movements fighting back

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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The need for approval is universal, but when it spirals into a cycle of constant validation-seeking, it can lead to something often called approval addiction. This lesser-known yet impactful form of addiction drives people to go to great lengths to secure affirmation and avoid rejection, often at the cost of their own well-being. In this episode, we explore what approval addiction is, how it manifests in our lives, and the signs that indicate we may be relying too heavily on others’ validation.

Learn how approval addiction shows up in daily life, from over-committing and people-pleasing to compromising your values for the sake of fitting in. We’ll also cover the different types of approval addiction, such as social approval and performance-based validation, and examine the differences between approval addiction and codependency. Finally, we’ll discuss how to break free from the need for constant validation, so you can build a stronger sense of self-approval and authentic confidence. Whether you struggle with people-pleasing, fear of rejection, or a need for external validation, this episode offers practical insights to help you start reclaiming your sense of worth from within.

Topics Discussed in This Episode:

• Signs of approval addiction and how to recognize it
• The role of people-pleasing and validation-seeking in approval addiction
• Differences between codependency and approval addiction
• How to break free from needing external approval for self-worth

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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When psychological suffering enters our lives, the modern psychiatric response is often to label, diagnose, and medicate what’s perceived as “symptoms” of conditions like BPD, EUPD, cPTSD, ADHD, ASD, and countless others. The DSM-5, as of 2022, lists criteria for 193 mental health disorders—a number that seems to expand with every edition. This episode challenges Western psychiatry's tendency to pathologize and medicalize human emotional distress, exploring what might happen if we viewed our symptoms not as problems to be "fixed," but as adaptive responses that reveal unmet needs and deeper truths about ourselves.

Imagine seeing these intense emotions and behaviors not as signs of a “disorder,” but as messengers pointing us toward growth and self-discovery. I share my own experience of hitting rock bottom, questioning life’s purpose, and how this perspective shift led to a profound change in how I approach mental health. Together, we’ll explore why reframing symptoms as “saviors” could radically change how we view mental well-being, reduce stigma, and transform treatment approaches for the better. This episode offers a perspective that invites compassion, self-awareness, and integration—helping us move towards a world where our daily emotional experiences are embraced as parts of a greater whole..

RESOURCES AND ADDITIONAL CONTENT MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

■ From Disorder to Design: A New Way to Understand Mental Health Symptoms (Ft. Philosopher Justin Garson)

■ Mental Health Symptoms or Hidden Spiritual Gifts? (Ft. Lisa Miller)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this dynamic episode of BFTB, we tackle the complexities of mental health stigma, low emotional intelligence, gaslighting, and the challenges of managing intense emotions. With voicemails and emails from listeners, we’ll dive into real-life scenarios that illustrate the misunderstandings surrounding mental health and the painful impact of stigma, both in Hollywood and in our personal relationships. Below is a breakdown of the topics we cover, including practical tips on self-regulation, boundary-setting, and navigating stigmatizing environments. Tune in for a packed episode that offers validation, perspective, and tools for anyone facing mental health stigma or emotional struggles.

TIMESTAMPS:

2:02 | The Power of Silence — Discover the benefits of “doing nothing” with insights from new neuroscience research, including a thought-provoking tweet from Billy Oppenheimer.

10:18 | BPD Stigma in Hollywood — Voicemail from Josie on how films like Bodies, Bodies, Bodies perpetuate harmful mental health stereotypes, and a discussion on reframing emotion dysregulation as something we can talk about openly.

17:02 | Navigating Family’s Mental Health Views — Email from Christian, a first-generation immigrant dealing with his family’s outdated and invalidating beliefs about mental health. We’ll discuss tips for handling invalidation in close relationships.

24:06 | Toxic Friendships and Boundaries — Voicemail from Sammy, who wonders how to recognize if a friend might have BPD. We’ll cover the importance of assessing toxic dynamics and setting healthy boundaries, regardless of diagnostic labels.

37:00 | Gaslighting and Emotional Reactions — Voicemail from Erin, who questions if her emotional responses are valid or “just the BPD.” We’ll explore the nuances of gaslighting, the dangers of label weaponization, and techniques to gain clarity over emotional reactivity.

58:00 | Preview of this week's episode of My Stupid Walk for My Stupid Mental Health (Ep 13)

RESOURCES:

■ Billy Openheimer Twitter

■ Ryan Holiday’s YouTube channel, The Daily Stoic

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this episode, we dive into the complex topic of splitting—a type of black-and-white thinking that can both serve as a protective mechanism and lead us into cycles of self-sabotage. Often linked to various mental health conditions such as BPD, cPTSD, ADHD, and ASD, splitting can profoundly impact our relationships and sense of self. But what if there’s more to splitting than just a label? Exploring splitting through the lens of both psychology and esoteric spiritual practices, we discuss how polarized thinking keeps us locked in cycles of dysfunctional behavior and perfectionism. We also dig into object relations theory to understand how splitting influences our ability to see people and ideas in nuanced ways, shaping everything from our self-perception to our closest relationships.

What we cover in this episode:

• How splitting affects individuals with traits associated with BPD, narcissistic personality disorder, and other “disorder” labels
• The psychological and spiritual origins of polarized thinking and its adaptive roots
• Practical steps to break free from black-and-white thinking and embrace a more flexible, growth-oriented mindset
• How perfectionism and splitting reinforce each other, keeping us in rigid cycles
• Insights from a listener voicemail from Charlie, who’s wrestling with feelings of guilt after learning how her intense emotional reactions are impacting her partner

If you’ve ever felt trapped in all-or-nothing thinking, this episode offers tools to help you recognize and soften these patterns, allowing for a more balanced and compassionate view of yourself and others.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Does he actually love you, or is he just tolerating you for as long as it takes him to get what he REALLY wants? It's a jarring question, one that challenges the very foundation of romantic relationships. But it's precisely the kind of provocative statement that modern female dating influencers use to capture the attention of millions. These influencers, with their sharp advice and confident personas, have sparked a resurgence in dating strategies that many thought had been left behind in the past. They are telling women to make men chase, to withhold affection, and to use their feminine wiles to manipulate relationships in their favor. But is this truly empowering, or is it simply recycling toxic advice from decades ago?

In this episode, we'll dive deep into the fascinating world of modern female pickup artists. We'll explore how these influencers are repackaging old dating tactics under the guise of empowerment and financial independence. Drawing parallels to the notorious pickup artist culture of the past, we'll examine how these strategies echo the advice from the 90s best-seller "The Rules," a book that preached the art of playing hard to get. Through this journey, we'll uncover the striking similarities between these eras and how these tactics have been modernized to fit today's digital landscape.

Listeners can expect to learn not just about the history and evolution of these dating strategies, but also about their implications for modern relationships. We'll discuss the rise of influencers like SheRa Seven, whose advice to women includes withholding sex to keep a man interested and using reverse psychology to manipulate men into financial support. We'll also delve into the social and economic factors that make these strategies appealing today, from financial instability to the pervasive pressures of modern dating.

By the end of this episode, you'll have a comprehensive understanding of how old dating advice is being repurposed for a new generation. You'll gain insights into why these strategies are resonating with young women today and the potential pitfalls they may lead to. We'll challenge you to think critically about the advice you consume and to consider what truly empowers you in your relationships. So, buckle up and get ready for a deep dive into the world of modern female pickup artists and their outdated 90s dating playbook.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Do your relationships leave you feeling frustrated, resentful, or unfulfilled? If you’re tired of struggling with intimacy and connection, this episode offers a compassionate look at codependency and the often hidden expectations that can erode closeness. Together, we’ll uncover how “control dramas” can push love away and examine the common trap of setting unrealistic expectations in relationships.

We’ll also listen to a voicemail from a listener who’s grappling with these very issues and fears she’s sabotaging her own chance at real love and intimacy. By the end of the episode, you’ll gain clarity on how to identify and voice your needs in a relationship—without it ending in conflict or emotional burnout.

Topics covered include:

• Recognizing codependency patterns and their impact on intimacy
• What are “control dramas” and how they damage relationships
• Moving past resentment and frustration toward healthier connections
• Tips for communicating your needs without emotional explosions
• How to create a more fulfilling and balanced partnership

This episode is for anyone ready to let go of old patterns and find a more authentic path to love and connection. Join me as we dive deep into the real challenges—and solutions—for building fulfilling relationships.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Have you ever felt like you’re playing a role rather than being your true self? In this episode, we dive into the concept of “personality masks” and how they can keep us from connecting with our authentic selves. We’ll unpack what “Self” and “personality” truly mean and explore why so many of us develop these protective masks—often as a response to social pressures, trauma, or past experiences.

We’ll discuss how masking behaviors can show up in daily life, particularly for those who identify with conditions like ADHD, Autism, or traits associated with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). By examining common signs of personality masking and examples of masking behaviors, you’ll gain insight into how these tendencies might be affecting your mental health and relationships. Plus, we’ll highlight the different types of masks people use, the unconscious reasons behind them, and the psychological toll they can take over time. If you’re ready to start the journey of unmasking, this episode provides practical tips for recognizing and shedding these layers, helping you reconnect with a more authentic, grounded version of yourself.

Key insights and topics covered include:

• What is a “personality mask” and how it impacts mental well-being
• Recognizing signs of masking in everyday life
• Why masking is commonly associated with ADHD, Autism, and BPD traits
• The psychological cost of wearing personality masks
• How to unmask and connect with your true self in a healthy, empowering way

This conversation offers tools and insights for anyone feeling disconnected from their true self and seeking to live more authentically.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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With the rise of the “sober curious” movement, more people than ever are questioning the role alcohol plays in their lives and exploring what it means to live (or drink) more mindfully. Inspired by a wave of viral stories and transformations, I set out to uncover what this lifestyle is all about and how it’s challenging social norms around drinking. In this episode, we’ll break down the concept of being “sober curious,” tracing its origins and hearing from voices within the movement who are reshaping our understanding of alcohol and wellness. From redefining social drinking to understanding why Gen Z is leading a cultural shift away from alcohol, we’ll explore the upsides, the challenges, and the powerful potential of a sober curious life.

Topics include:

• How the sober curious movement started and its growing influence on wellness culture
• The concept of mindful drinking and ways to integrate it into your social life
• Why a growing number of people are choosing to question their relationship with alcohol
• Insights into Gen Z’s changing attitudes toward drinking and social connection

Whether you’re considering a break from alcohol or just want a fresh perspective, this episode offers an inviting look at the benefits and possibilities of going “sober curious.”

Referenced resources: 

■ Book: “Sober Curious” by Ruby Warrington 

■ Book: “Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice Not to Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol”

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this episode, we dive deep into the emotional turbulence of high-conflict relationships, focusing on a listener’s experience with being gaslit. When Jade called in to share how she’s been made to feel “too much” or “too sensitive,” it highlighted the destructive power of gaslighting—and how easily mental health stigma can fuel feelings of self-doubt and guilt. Together, we’ll unpack the signs and effects of gaslighting, from the subtle shifts in self-perception to the ways it can derail emotional stability. We’ll also explore how partners who are open about their mental health can sometimes be manipulated into taking blame, and why self-soothing and emotional intelligence are key skills for handling intense relationship dynamics. Whether you’re navigating a high-conflict relationship, dealing with unresolved guilt, or simply seeking clarity, this episode will offer guidance and practical steps for reclaiming your sense of self.

Key topics covered include:

• Recognizing gaslighting and understanding its impact on your self-trust
• Identifying if and when your partner might be using gaslighting tactics
• The damaging role of mental health stigma in relationships
• Tips for initiating the conversation about couple’s therapy
• Self-soothing strategies and conflict resolution for high-conflict couples
• Moving beyond the blame game to build healthier emotional dynamics

Tune in for an honest conversation on gaslighting, emotional resilience, and the road to building stronger, more self-aware relationships.

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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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This week’s episode dives into some raw and relatable relationship struggles that many of us grapple with behind closed doors. We’ll listen to Liz’s story of battling guilt and shame after feeling responsible for her boyfriend’s eviction from his friend group’s apartment, and we’ll hear from Otillia, who is facing the painful aftermath of discovering that the person she’d been dating was hiding a pregnant girlfriend. These listener stories open the door to real, unfiltered discussions on navigating the tough moments that can make or break our self-worth and trust in others.

In this episode, we’ll explore:

• How to rebuild confidence after hurtful feedback and regain a sense of self
• Practical ways to cope with feelings of guilt and shame without losing yourself in them
• Managing social anxiety and finding ease when meeting new people in your partner’s life
• Approaches to building authentic relationships with a partner’s friends without overextending
• Moving forward after experiencing betrayal and the shock of infidelity

Through these stories, we’ll reflect on ways to strengthen our emotional resilience and deepen our understanding of ourselves in love and relationships. Whether you’re navigating guilt, trust, or the challenge of building new connections, this episode offers insights and support for the journey.

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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If you’re feeling stuck in the aftermath of a breakup, this episode is a space to help you begin untangling the pain and finding your way back to yourself. Healing from a traumatic separation isn’t a straightforward path—it’s filled with grief, self-doubt, and that persistent question: “Will I ever feel whole again?” We’ll dig deep into the emotional layers of heartbreak, looking at how to rebuild self-worth, embrace closure, and eventually, open up to love once more. We’ll explore how attachments, beliefs, and past traumas can shape our experience of love and loss. From breaking free of trauma bonds and recognizing the patterns of limerence—those addictive, all-consuming feelings that mimic love—to challenging the myth of a “perfect partner,” this episode is about grounding ourselves in reality and embracing a healthier view of relationships and self-worth.

Topics include:

• Finding purpose through helping others and using altruism as a lifeline
• Understanding limerence vs. true love, and breaking free from toxic cycles
• Insights into trauma bonding and its effects on adult relationships
• Letting go of the “One” myth to find a more balanced perspective on love
• Guided visualization to help you process pain and start moving forward

Through these reflections, you’ll gain fresh perspectives on navigating breakup pain and new ways to reconnect with yourself.

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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Struggling to stay organized, follow through on plans, or keep your emotions in check? You’re not alone. Many people face challenges with executive functioning—a set of mental skills that can impact everything from daily routines to long-term goals. In this episode, we’re breaking down what executive dysfunction really is, especially as it relates to ADHD and emotion regulation. We’ll dive into why executive dysfunction occurs, how it might show up in everyday life, and, importantly, practical strategies for managing it. Through fresh insights into how childhood development shapes executive skills and reflections on Gabor Maté’s perspectives on ADHD, this conversation is all about understanding the “why” behind these struggles and finding realistic steps to move forward.

Listen in to learn about:

• The basics of executive functions and what happens when they’re disrupted
• Signs and causes of executive dysfunction (and how to recognize them in yourself)
• Real-life impacts of executive dysfunction on focus, planning, and emotional regulation
• How childhood experiences and ADHD influence executive skills
• Practical tools and strategies for building up your executive functioning over time

This episode offers a compassionate look at executive dysfunction that goes beyond labels. Tune in to discover tools and insights that can help you create a more balanced, fulfilling life.

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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this episode, we’re taking a hard look at the medical model of mental health—a framework that focuses on diagnosis and medication but often falls short in addressing the true complexities of human suffering. Despite decades of research, psychiatrist and medical historian Dr. Marcos Ramos argues in his article “Mental Illness Is Not in Your Head” that traditional psychiatry has made little progress in diagnosing or treating mental health conditions. He suggests a radical shift in perspective: looking beyond the brain to societal, environmental, and psychological factors as essential elements in understanding and healing mental and physical health. We’ll explore how the medical model often overlooks the root causes of distress, and why it’s crucial to consider a more holistic approach to treatment. This episode invites listeners to question conventional psychiatry and embrace a broader perspective on mental health—one that considers trauma, social structures, and emotional well-being as integral parts of healing.

Topics discussed include:

• The limitations of the medical model in treating mental health conditions
• Why mental health diagnosis and treatment may not have advanced as much as we think
• The importance of addressing environmental, social, and psychological factors for more effective care
• Practical ways to advocate for yourself and loved ones in a system often focused on labels and medication

This episode aims to inform and empower, arming you with knowledge to navigate the mental health system with greater confidence—and perhaps even to challenge the status quo in pursuit of true healing.

Recommended resources: 

■ Full article from the Boston Review – “Mental Illness Is Not in Your Head” by Marco Ramos

■ Follow Marcos on Twitter (@mramos_histmed)

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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this powerful episode, I’m joined by 67-year-old Scott Schaeffer, whose journey through trauma, self-discovery, and resilience is one of the most impactful stories I've shared on the podcast. Scott’s life was shaped by severe physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his father, along with the struggle of growing up in a household where his mother couldn’t protect him or his siblings. Despite these challenges, Scott cultivated a strong, healthy marriage and chose to break the cycle of trauma in raising his daughter. With the guidance of a supportive psychotherapist, he began to identify with traits commonly associated with borderline personality disorder (BPD), which brought both clarity and healing.

Scott’s story is a testament to the power of self-awareness, the importance of emotional resilience, and the possibility of breaking generational trauma patterns. Whether you’re navigating family trauma, emotion dysregulation, or validation addiction, Scott’s insights and experiences will resonate deeply and offer hope.

In this episode, we explore:

• Scott’s path to realizing he needed help and how finding language for his experiences brought empowerment
• The impact of BPD traits, like “splitting” (black-and-white thinking), on relationships
• How validation addiction or approval-seeking can keep us stuck in self-destructive cycles
• The role of childhood trauma and abuse in shaping BPD traits and emotional sensitivity
• How Scott overcame the cycle of generational trauma in his own family
• Why men, especially cis-gendered heterosexual males, are less frequently diagnosed with BPD and how the medical model overlooks them

This episode is for anyone seeking to understand their own behaviors, heal from past traumas, or simply find encouragement in another’s resilience. Scott’s story shows that no matter your age or past experiences, it’s possible to find meaning, self-compassion, and peace.

Connect with Scott at https://www.usadogbehavior.com/.

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The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this hard-hitting episode, I sit down with Dr. Roger McFillin, a board-certified clinical psychologist, executive director of the Center for Integrated Behavioral Health, and host of the globally popular "Radically Genuine" podcast. Known for his fearless critique of the mainstream mental health system, Dr. McFillin exposes the detrimental consequences of psychiatric diagnoses and drugs, advocating for a deeper understanding of human suffering.

Dr. McFillin shares his journey from a disillusioned practitioner of evidence-based treatments to a vocal critic of the American mental health system. We discuss his "red-pill moment" while working in an in-patient child psychiatric unit, where he witnessed the heartbreaking reality of children being restrained and drugged. This pivotal experience led him to question the efficacy and ethics of psychiatric interventions and to explore the profound impact of the placebo effect in psychiatric drug studies.

In our conversation, Dr. McFillin highlights the hypocritical nature of psychiatric drugs being labeled as "medicine" when prescribed, yet still considered "drugs" when obtained elsewhere. He argues for the importance of finding the "story behind our suffering" rather than merely labeling and pathologizing it. Dr. McFillin also critiques the current mental health system, describing it as the "fast food of health care," prioritizing quick fixes over addressing the systemic issues underlying the mental health crisis.

We delve into his views on antidepressants, which he describes as potentially "one of the most lucrative scams in history." Dr. McFillin explains how our culture has "lost its language for suffering," and how focusing excessively on mental health can paradoxically harm our well-being. He emphasizes the need for a paradigm shift in understanding and addressing psychological distress.

Join me as Dr. McFillin shares his provocative insights and well-researched perspectives, challenging the status quo and advocating for a more compassionate, story-driven approach to mental health. This episode is a must-listen for anyone questioning the mainstream narrative on mental health and seeking deeper, more humane approaches to understanding and alleviating human suffering.

✧ Click here to listen to + follow Roger’s podcast Radically Genuine

✧ Click here to learn more about (or join) the Conscious Clinician Collective

✧ Click here to watch the video that was originally banned on YouTube mentioned in our discussion

CONTACT ME + UNLOCK PREMIUM: To join the Premium Submarines on Patreon (unlocking full + ad-free episodes), check out my sponsors and book recommendations, or contact me directly, visit backfromtheborderline.com.

Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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To truly advocate for yourself in mental health treatment, it’s crucial to understand the different frameworks that shape how mental health is approached and treated. The dominant view in Western mental health care, known as the medical model, seeks to pathologize emotional experiences, attributing symptoms to “disorders” or supposed chemical imbalances in the brain. But here’s the catch: the medical model is just one theory, and it’s not without its critics. In this episode, we examine alternative perspectives on mental health, including the trauma-informed approach, which many believe offers a more compassionate and effective way of addressing psychological suffering.

We’ll break down the four major models shaping today’s mental health landscape:

• The Medical Model: The traditional view, focused on diagnosing “disorders” and treating symptoms, often through medication.
• The Social Model: Emphasizing the role of societal structures and environments in mental health.
• The Biopsychosocial Model: Integrating biological, psychological, and social factors to understand mental well-being.
• The Trauma-Informed Model: A growing framework that views emotional distress as a response to trauma rather than a “disorder.”

By exploring and critiquing each of these perspectives, you’ll gain insight into why you may have felt disconnected or even disheartened by certain mental health treatments. This episode aims to empower you with knowledge so you can make informed choices and advocate for a therapeutic approach that aligns with your needs and experiences.

Listen in to learn:

• How different mental health models impact treatment outcomes
• Why the trauma-informed model is gaining traction as a humane approach to mental health
• What questions to ask your mental health provider to ensure your care aligns with your values

This episode will leave you better equipped to navigate the complexities of mental health care and reclaim your voice in your own healing journey.

Recommended resources:

■ Article by Mad in America | “Researchers Critique the Medical Model”

■ YouTube video by Dr. James Davies | Mental Health, Capitalism & the Sedation of a Nation

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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What do you do when you realize you’ve hurt the people you love? In this episode, I respond to a listener’s voicemail about the deep guilt that follows an episode of emotional dysregulation, where she “lost it” with close friends who haven’t spoken to her since. These moments—the ones where we realize, “I might be the problem”—can be some of the hardest to face on the path to healing. But they’re also powerful opportunities for self-reflection and growth. We’ll explore why emotional “blow-ups” don’t mean you’re back at square one and how moments of self-awareness can actually move us forward. This episode delves into the importance of atonement in relationships, providing steps for repairing the harm we’ve caused, as well as tools for forgiving ourselves.

Topics covered include:

• Recognizing signs that we may be hurting others in our relationships
• How to take accountability without wallowing in shame or self-hatred
• Finding the root causes behind emotional outbursts and self-sabotaging behaviors
• Steps for making amends and offering genuine apologies
• Practicing healthier behaviors as part of your ongoing healing journey
• Real strategies for self-forgiveness and moving forward after a mistake

This episode is a guide for anyone grappling with guilt and self-doubt in their relationships, offering insights on breaking free from cycles of emotional harm and nurturing healthier connections.

Recommended resources:

■ Article by Jim Tolles | “7 steps to Atoning for Pain You’ve Caused Another”

■ TedTalk by Kristin Neff | “The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion”

■ YouTube video with Lisa Romano | “Verbal Abuse in Relationships”

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Navigating the workplace can be an overwhelming experience, especially for those managing symptoms related to trauma recovery. Many individuals who resonate with the symptoms of various disorder/dysfunction labels are highly sensitive, intuitive, creative, and often find traditional job environments triggering or draining. In this episode, we explore the common workplace struggles faced by people on a trauma healing journey, from difficulties with job stability to feeling trapped in roles that suppress creativity.

We’ll talk about practical strategies for coping with workplace stress, handling emotional triggers, and managing job-related anxiety. This episode also offers guidance on finding meaningful work that aligns with your passions, rather than settling for roles that bring discontentment and emotional strain. If you feel caught in a cycle of jumping from job to job or repeating self-sabotaging patterns at work, this episode will provide insights and tools to help you shift toward a career path that feels fulfilling and sustainable.

In this episode, we cover:

• Common challenges and emotional triggers in the workplace for trauma survivors
• Practical steps for managing job-related anxiety and stress
• How to create boundaries that support mental health in professional settings
• Tips on moving from jobs you hate to meaningful work that aligns with your values

This episode is for anyone struggling with workplace dynamics while healing, offering hope and actionable steps to find a job that truly resonates with who you are.

Resources mentioned:

■ Essay by Paul Graham: “How To Do What You Love”

■ Twitter thread by Billy Oppenheimer: “12 habits and principles for doing your best creative work”

■ Book by Elizabeth Gilbert: “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear”

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this episode, my incredible partner Zaz is back to help tackle your pressing questions on love, intimacy, and the realities of building healthy relationships. Together, we’re diving into the complex dynamics that shape romantic connections, from understanding emotional abuse to breaking free from obsessive thoughts about a new crush. This conversation covers the importance of uncovering your core values, how delaying intimacy can strengthen a relationship, and the role unhealed emotional struggles play in partnership dynamics. Whether you’re exploring a new relationship or deepening a long-term connection, this episode offers insights to help you navigate the often-complicated world of love and connection with greater awareness and intention.

Topics discussed include:

• Recognizing signs of verbal and emotional abuse in intimate relationships
• Strategies for breaking cycles of emotional harm—and addressing the shame that often arises
• How identifying your core values can help you overcome identity issues and strengthen partnerships
• Practical advice on managing emotion dysregulation to support healthier relationship dynamics

This episode is for anyone seeking to build a mindful, values-driven relationship or break free from the patterns that keep them stuck.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In this episode, we explore the profound sense of spiritual starvation that so many of us grapple with—a feeling of emptiness, brokenness, and isolation that seems impossible to fill. Inspired by a voicemail from Thiago in Brazil and a message from Noura in Egypt, I’m reminded of why I started this podcast: to connect with those searching for meaning beyond the surface-level solutions often offered in mental health and self-help spaces. We dive into the concept of “zooming out”—taking a higher, broader perspective on our lives and struggles. By stepping back, we can begin to see our experiences not as signs of inherent flaws, but as part of a much larger journey of growth and self-discovery. This episode encourages you to follow your own “spiritual breadcrumbs” and find unique ways to reconnect with yourself at a deeper level.

Topics include:

• Exploring spiritual emptiness and feelings of disconnection
• Practical steps for “zooming out” and gaining a higher perspective on personal struggles
• How to use a spiritual lens to find peace and purpose
• Tips for navigating feelings of brokenness and finding inner resilience
• Cultivating self-awareness and autonomy on your own spiritual path

For anyone feeling lost or spiritually “starved,” this episode offers a refreshing perspective on reclaiming your journey and nurturing a more meaningful connection with yourself.

RESOURCES:

“How Do We Break the Habit of Excessive Thinking?” with Eckhart Tolle

“How to re-frame a challenging moment and feel empowered?” with Gabor Maté MD

“Let your relationships become a vehicle for freedom” with Ram Dass

“The principal of not forcing” with Alan Watts

“Holding the tension of the opposites” with Marion Woodman

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Anger is one of our most intense and often misunderstood emotions, but what if this powerful feeling could be used as a tool for personal growth? In this episode, we explore the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger, and ask: is society’s view of anger to blame for the “unhealthy” ways we express it? We’ll dive into practical anger management strategies and effective techniques for releasing anger and rage, uncovering how to recognize and work with anger in a way that strengthens self-awareness and emotional well-being.

Discover the concept of anger as a secondary emotion, what it truly reveals about our deeper needs, and how unprocessed anger may lead to destructive patterns in our lives. We’ll also discuss the spiritual meaning of anger and its potential to act as a pathway for healing and transformation. Whether you’re dealing with frequent anger, navigating deep-seated rage, or simply want to understand the role anger plays in your life, this episode provides actionable insights and emotional tools for growth.

Topics covered in this episode include:

• Healthy vs. unhealthy expressions of anger
• How cultural beliefs affect our relationship with anger
• Tips for managing anger, from grounding exercises to mindfulness practices
• Understanding anger as a response to deeper emotions
• Exploring the spiritual aspects of anger for personal development

If you’ve ever struggled to control or understand your anger, this episode will help you harness this powerful emotion to cultivate self-compassion, resilience, and balance in your life.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

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What if everything we think we know about depression is wrong? What if the very framework we've built around the concept of depression has been shaped, not by the inherent nature of the experience, but by changing cultural narratives and evolving medical perspectives?

In today's episode, we’ll trace depression’s origins back to ancient times, where it was known as melancholia—a term that encompassed a broader and perhaps more human understanding of the experience. Unlike the clinical, often pathologizing perspective we hold today, melancholia was viewed as a natural response to life's inevitable sorrows and hardships.

Fast forward to the modern era, and we see a shift—one that frames depression as a medical condition, a disorder to be treated and cured. This transformation didn't just happen overnight. It was the result of centuries of evolving thought, influenced by cultural changes, medical advancements, and societal expectations. As we navigate through this historical tapestry, we'll uncover how these shifts have impacted the way we experience and talk about depression today.

You'll learn about the ancient notion of melancholia, how it was perceived by thinkers like Freud and the ancient Greeks, and how modern psychiatry has redefined it. We'll discuss the implications of viewing depression as a disorder versus a natural human experience and explore how language and culture shape our understanding of mental health.

But more importantly, we’ll reflect on what these insights mean for us today. Are we, perhaps, pathologizing what might be a normal aspect of the human condition? Could our modern approach to depression be limiting our understanding and empathy towards those who suffer from it?

By the end of our journey today, you’ll have gained a new perspective on depression and melancholia. Perhaps you will see these experiences not just as conditions to be treated but as essential parts of what it means to be human. So settle in and prepare to uncover the rich history and evolving narrative of these deeply human experiences, and consider how we can move forward with a more compassionate and nuanced understanding of psychological suffering.

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CONTACT ME CHECK OUT MORE OF MY WORK: To read my Substack articles, access my Amazon book recommendation list, or contact me for collaborations, visit backfromtheborderline.com.

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Dissociation can feel like slipping out of reality itself—but what’s really going on when we disconnect from our surroundings or even from ourselves?

In this episode, we take an in-depth look at dissociation, breaking down its subtypes, including derealization (feeling detached from the world around you) and depersonalization (feeling detached from yourself). We explore how dissociation is often tied to trauma and how it manifests differently for those who experience it. From grounding techniques to mindful awareness, this episode offers practical tools to help you manage these unsettling moments and reconnect to the present. We also address the deeply isolating feeling of “going crazy” that can accompany dissociation and discuss how to seek supportive resources for ongoing dissociative experiences. Whether dissociation is something you experience often or only occasionally, this episode provides insights to help you understand, manage, and ultimately feel less alone in the experience.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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What if the pursuit of a “strong sense of self” is actually keeping us trapped in cycles of suffering? In this episode, we unravel the complexities of identity disturbance, especially as it relates to the “Favorite Person” dynamic often seen with BPD traits. We’ll explore how attaching our sense of self to others can lead to feelings of emptiness and imposter syndrome, questioning whether common therapeutic goals like developing self-esteem might sometimes do more harm than good.

Drawing on the Buddhist principle of anatta, or “non-self,” we’ll examine how loosening the grip on identity can open up new pathways for healing. You’ll also learn why mindfulness can feel challenging when we’re overly focused on the concept of self—and discover techniques for becoming more present without being bound by rigid ideas of who we think we are.

This episode offers a fresh perspective on the pursuit of identity, inviting you to see beyond labels and discover what might lie on the other side of “self.”

Recommended resources: “The Fiction of the Self - The Paradox of Mindfulness in Clinical Practice” by Ronald Siegel

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Have you ever wondered why so many mental health treatments seem to scratch the surface but don’t quite reach the root of what’s going on? For those who resonate with mental health disorder labels, the journey often begins and ends with skills-based therapies like DBT or CBT. While coping techniques can help us manage day-to-day challenges, these approaches rarely address the bigger picture—the societal narratives and systemic forces shaping how we see ourselves. Many people complete treatment programs only to find themselves still feeling unanchored, searching for identity and meaning.

In this episode, we’re taking a deep dive into narrative therapy and the concept of agency, examining how these tools can help us reclaim our stories and change the way we see our struggles. We’ll explore externalization, a technique that allows you to step back from negative thought patterns and take control of your life. Along the way, we’ll discuss cognitive distortions and how they keep us trapped in cycles of self-doubt and frustration. We’ll also confront the damaging narratives perpetuated in mental health discourse and consider the profound impact they can have on those in recovery.

Key topics we’ll cover include:

• The power of agency and why having a say in our own narrative matters
• What narrative therapy is, and how it’s being applied to those with BPD and other labels
• Externalization as a way to reclaim your identity from harmful labels and thought patterns
• Recognizing and addressing cognitive distortions that fuel negative thinking
• The often-overlooked role of societal narratives in shaping our mental health and recovery journey

This episode challenges traditional approaches to mental health, inviting you to see yourself through a new lens—one where you’re not just coping, but actively rewriting your story on your own terms.

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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If you no longer viewed your symptoms as proof of being “disordered” but as a part of your brain’s natural, adaptive design, how would that reshape your self-understanding? How would it impact the hope you hold for your future? For millions, the prevailing belief is that symptoms of mental distress stem from chemical imbalances or genetic flaws—issues inherited and hardwired. But groundbreaking research by Dr. Joanna Moncrieff is challenging this very foundation, shaking up the psychiatric field and prompting us to question: What if our brains are simply doing their best to keep us safe?

In today’s episode, I sit down with philosophy professor and author Justin Garson to explore this revolutionary perspective. Together, we’ll delve into how painful symptoms can be seen less as evidence of dysfunction, and more as deeply rooted responses that have adapted over time, especially through childhood. Our early experiences leave profound imprints, shaping how we perceive the world, relationships, and even ourselves. But what if recognizing these imprints as survival mechanisms could offer a path toward real change?

Join us as we reframe the entire concept of mental health, shifting from labels of disorder to stories of resilience and adaptation. This episode invites you to see yourself in a radically new light—one where healing means understanding, rather than “fixing” who you are.

Recommended resources:

■ Full article by Justin Garson - "Is Borderline Personality Disorder an Adaptation?"

■ Justin's website - https://www.justingarson.com/

■ Research by Joanna Moncrieff et. al - "The serotonin theory of depression: a systematic umbrella review of the evidence" (July 2022)

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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For many who resonate with symptoms associated with various different mental health disorder/dysfunction labels, the journey to “getting better” often begins with therapy and learning skills through methods like CBT or DBT. But what happens when those skills still don’t seem to bring the sense of peace or fulfillment you’re looking for? You’ve done the research, tried the techniques, yet find yourself feeling perpetually empty or caught in cycles of boredom and dissatisfaction. In this episode, we dig deeper—under the surface of symptoms—to explore the “why” behind our suffering. We’ll take a closer look at the way our brains chase happiness, fueled by biology and a relentless search for the next dopamine fix. This constant chase keeps us in a loop, always seeking the next “desirable” thing or person. By examining what happiness really means and breaking down some common misconceptions about it, we can start to see our lives and relationships through a new lens.

In this episode, we’ll cover:

• The concept of “Dukkha bias” and why we often feel like nothing is ever good enough
• The link between chronic boredom, emptiness, and high emotional sensitivity
• How our constant drive for desire can become a source of suffering—and what we can do about it
• Insights into human biology and how it perpetuates a cycle of never-ending needs
• A framework for defining happiness on your own terms, free from societal expectations

Join me as we peel back the layers of what it means to seek happiness and enter a path toward true and lasting recovery that isn’t about quick fixes, but rather a deeper understanding of ourselves.

Recommended resources: 

■ Book - Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture by Ryan Bush

■ YouTube - Interview with the author of Designing the Mind on the Modern Wisdom Podcast

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most of us are well aware of the patterns we want to break—the cycles that keep us from experiencing true peace and intimacy. We can see the behaviors that sabotage our connections, but knowing isn’t the same as changing. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on my own journey is that transforming our beliefs is essential to transforming our actions. In this episode, we’ll explore some of the deeply held beliefs that might be holding you back, and I’ll share why a temporary break from social media might become a lasting one for me. We’ll dive into how major platforms are shifting from “social media” to “recommendation media” and the effect this can have on our emotional well-being. I’ll also address a recent review that questioned my stance on the BPD label and why I continue to challenge the potential harms of labels that can reinforce limiting beliefs about ourselves.

Topics we’ll explore include:

• The impact of social media on emotional stability, particularly for those with high emotional sensitivity
• Whether mental health labels like “borderline personality disorder” are helpful or limiting
• How cognitive biases and “splitting” can affect our healing process
• The importance of adopting a “growth mindset” to improve communication and build healthier relationships
• Understanding and managing “obsessive” tendencies, such as constantly checking a partner’s social media
• Practical tips for navigating romantic relationships when intense emotions are part of the mix

This episode is a deep dive into how shifting your beliefs can open the door to new patterns, healthier relationships, and a more grounded approach to self-discovery and growth.

Recommended resources: 

■ Article – “The End of Social Media and the Rise of Recommendation Media” by Michael Mignano

■ Article – The people who want to get rid of the term ‘personality disorder’ by Emily Reynolds for Dazed Digital

■ Book – Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture by Ryan Bush

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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Former Nickelodeon child-star Jennette McCurdy's provocatively titled memior “I’m Glad My Mom Died” became a near-instant New York Times bestseller after its release in August 2022. The Audible version of the book is narrated by Jeanette herself and details her struggles with disordered eating, alcohol addiction, OCD, unstable relationships and – most notably – her extremely complicated relationship with her codependent, overbearing, and abusive mother. In this episode, I discuss my reflections on the book. Through dissecting Jeannette’s experiences she so bravely shared in this memoir, we’ll dive into what we can learn about parentification, enmeshment (also known as “emotional incest”) and the devastating impact these kinds of toxic family dynamics can have on childhood development that carry on far into adulthood. 

Questions answered and topics explored in this episode:

■ The exploitation of children in the entertainment industry (the trauma faced by child actors)

■ The devastating impact of emotionally immature and “narcissistic” parents

■ Signs you may have suffered childhood emotional incest (also known as “covert incest”)

■ Signs you were a parentified child (the damage parentification can have on highly sensitive children)

■ “The narcissistic mother” (the long-term effects these traits have on their daughters)

■ How childhood trauma can lead to adult identity problems

■ How children of cancer patients can experience post-traumatic stress disorder (parental cancer and its psychosocial impact on children)

Recommended resources:

■ I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

■ The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller

Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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In a recent interview with Howard Stern, 20-year-old singer-songwriter Billie Eilish revealed the devastating impact that having access to hardcore pornography from as early as age 11 had on her self-image and sexuality. In this episode, we delve into Billie's comments and explore the harmful effects of online porn on millennials and Gen-Z. Additionally, we discuss the potential increased risk of negative impact on individuals who experience symptoms of mental health disorder labels, including borderline personality disorder. Tune in to gain insight into the complex issue of easy access to porn and its effects on mental health and sexuality.

Key timestamps in this conversation:

02:00 – Discussion of our “quote of the week” by Stoic philosopher Epictetus (exploring how those who identify with symptoms of BPD can learn to tackle our issues with control)

08:00 – Billie Eilish’s comments on porn and an in-depth exploration on sexuality and mental health disorder labels

50:00 – Preview of this week’s premium episode on “borderline abuse”

Questions answered in this episode:

■ The impact easy access to porn has in our developmental years

■ The negative effects of porn on expectations of sex and body image

■ How the overuse of porn can negatively impact your mental health

■ The role mental health symptoms can play in your sex life and perception of intimacy 

■ What is “borderline abuse” (“borderline abuse”) and is it a real thing?

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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I received two listener emails this week that ripped my heart open. One was struggling with addiction, and the other was devastated by a recent heartbreak. These voicemails reminded me of why I started my podcast in the first place, so I decided to record this episode. It is a love letter to the person at rock bottom. The person who is so heartbroken, they feel like they can’t go on—the person questioning if they even want to be on this earth anymore. Through the words of authors who have inspired me and gotten me through my own dark times, it is my hope that this episode can be a light in the darkness. If it inspires just one person to keep fighting, it will have all been worth it.

Authors quoted in the episode:

■ In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Maté

■ The Hero's Journey: Joseph Campbell on His Life & Work by Joseph Campbell

■ Ether: Into the Nemesis by L.J. Vanier

Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of exclusive content on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.

The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.