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121: The Keys to Responding to "You're So Lucky You Don't Have Kids"
This might be one of the most "triggering" remarks that parents make to people who don't have kids. If you wanted kids, you sure don't feel very lucky, right? In fact, you might feel pretty unlucky.
Have you had this scenario come up before? I have and I'm going to walk through the steps I used to handle it with love and kindness.
This is the last solo episode in my summer series on responding authentically to all the questions and remarks we get as women without kids. I'll share:
the sign that you're on the "treadmill of triggers"
how to shift your mindset and approach this question with grace
options for responding in different scenarios
If you are someone who wants to be prepared for ALL the insensitive remarks and questions - whatever comes your way - send me a DM to @sherijohnsoncoaching with the words "episode 121" and I'll show you what you can do next.
So many childless and childfree women hate this question. A simple "no" answer often leads to awkward silences or the other party trying to back track or fill the space. But what if you could answer this question with ease and grace and both you and the person asking the question could walk away from the conversation feeling good?
That's what today's episode is all about. It's not about coming up with snide or sarcastic comments that will "put the person in their place". It's about responding with a new perspective and with love and kindness.
In this solo episode, I'll show you how to:
get into an empowering mindset
shift your perspective on what causes people to ask this question
be prepared with easy answers
If you want to find out how to answer ALL the insensitive questions and remarks about women without kids, send me a DM at @sherijohnsoncoaching with the words "episode 120" and I'll give you the next steps!
If you are anything like me, you're probably tired of hearing about JD Vance and the comments he made publicly about childless women being miserable cat ladies and having no stake in America's future.
I'm not even American, and yet angry reactions to this have been filling my feed these days.
The thing is, the majority of them have been simply reactions to his comments. And my question became, "what good is this doing?"
So I'm taking a different approach on the pod this week and actually showing you how to dissipate any reaction you may have had to JD Vance's comments.
Now let's get clear on one thing. I am not on his side. I'm not condoning what he said. I just want to shift your own perspective so that you can move on and let it go.
So this is what I'm going to share with you on this episode:
what these kinds of comments show you about yourself
how JD Vance's comments show you about him and his beliefs
how lashing out against him is not actually going to change the way people think about childless women
If you're ready to take take a more empowering stance when it comes to insensitive comments and questions and find out how to let these triggers roll off your back, send me a DM on Instagram to @sherijohnsoncoaching with the word “powerful”. I’ll give you the steps on how to do it.
If you want to be able to answer questions like “do you have kids” with authenticity instead of awkwardness, you must shift your mindset. It's not enough to just rehearse how you'll respond. And if you're anything like I used to be, what you're rehearsing might feel more defensive and hurt than empowering.
When I first realized that I wasn't going to have kids, I just wanted everyone to just stop asking me about kids, stop giving me advice and stop saying things I didn’t want to hear. But once I realized that it was my own mindset that needed a shift, I felt a huge sense of empowerment.
In this solo episode, I'll share 7 signs that you might be stuck in a mindset that is blocking you from moving forward.
"Time heals all wounds" is the biggest lie we've been told about grief. I used to believe this lie, myself. After any sort of big emotion, I thought time would eventually clear it away.
This is a super-short solo episode where I break down why this common, widely-held belief is actually a myth, and what you can do about it.
This is the second episode in my summer series on how to answer all the insensitive questions and remarks we get as childless women. Tune in each week all summer long if you want to have more authentic, less-awkward conversations.
If you are someone who wants to stop waiting around for time to heal your wounds and take action instead, so you can answer all the questions with grace, send me a DM on Instagram with the word, "grace".
Do you have kids? Who's going to take care of you when you're old? What's your purpose then? You can borrow my kids anytime!
You've probably heard them all, or at least some of the questions and comments that bother us women without kids. Maybe you've thought to yourself, or maybe even out loud, "I wish people would just stop asking questions or saying insensitive things". And if you have, you might have noticed that there's always someone else who says something that gets under your skin and sometimes it comes right out of left field.
I'll let you in on a secret: it will never end. There will always be another mole in this endless game of wac-a-mole. Unless you heal the wound that is continuously being triggered by these questions and comments.
If you want to find out how to respond with authenticity and grace, have a listen to this episode, the first in a series during which I'll share my secrets.
And if you really want to go all in, summer is the perfect time to join the Women of Worthy Program! Your summer is going to get a whole lot better in the few weeks that are left, and you’ll be in a much better position to handle all the social media stuff around back to school and Halloween. Send me a DM on Instagram with the word SUMMER and I’ll share the details.
Childless? Childfree? Woman Without Kids? Take your pick!
I've been really curious about how women who don't have kids and wanted them identify themselves. Some appear to be really attached to the Childless Not By Choice term, and yet my own experience and in the multiple discussions we've had in my group program, childless seems to make us FEEL less.
In this solo episode, I unpack all the different terms, the fact that it's not as black and white as childfree versus childless, and how to detach yourself from the terminology altogether.
If you are someone who wants to have this kind of discussion openly and lovingly with other "childless" women, summer is the perfect time to join the Women of Worth program. Imagine how much better your summer could look with the right support through grief and to manifest your best life? Send me an email or a DM with the word "podcast 115" and I'll share the details with you.
Feeling lonely is one of the most common complaints I hear from childless women so if you're feeling lonely, you are definitely not the only one!
I felt lonely too when I first started down the path to permanently childless, especially once my husband seemed to have moved forward without me and didn't seem to understand what I was going through.
So I thought it was high time to talk more openly about loneliness and how to dissipate it. Tune into this solo episode to find out:
why retreating and avoiding the situations that make you feel like an outsider is actually making you feel worse
how shame makes its way into your psyche when you feel lonely
the one thing that is actually going to shift things for you that you've never thought of doing
If you are done with feeling lonely and ready to have an amazing summer, even without kids, I'm opening up the Women of Worth program to a small group of women. It's only open to women who are ready to take action.
Send me an email to sheri@sherijohnson.ca with the word "summer" if you wanna find out more.
There was a time when I didn't quite feel like I had found a place within the childless community and the reason was that I had not done IVF. It seemed as though so many of the women there had tried IVF and they had this common language and terms that I wasn't familiar with.
Then I realized that there are SO many different paths that all converge on leading a life without children and yet perhaps there were other women out there who felt like I did. So on today's episode, I'm pulling back the curtains on why I chose not to pursue IVF and how I grappled with that choice.
You'll find out:
all the reasons I decided not to do IVF
the fears that kept me on the fence
the judgment that came afterwards
If you're struggling with the decision between whether to quit trying to become a mom (in some way, shape or form) and embracing your life without kids, send me a DM on Instagram with the word DECISION. I'll show you how you can get off the fence.
Harrison Butker's commencement speech at Benedictine College ruffled a LOT of feathers, especially within the childfree community. There were a lot of insults thrown at him, arguments started on social media comment sections, even calls to cancel his NFL contract. Were they justified? In my opinion, it doesn't really matter.
What matters is this: how do YOU feel when you hear words like Harrison's and if it's outrage, do you know how to dissipate that? You might think you don't want to dissipate that anger, because, well, it's justified right? But what good is it, if everyone just walks away from the comment section feeling angry and nothing has changed?
In this solo episode, I'm breaking it all down:
why you feel so outraged when you hear words like this and why they make you feel so slighted
the mistakes that you might be making that are causing you to feel worse
the first few steps you can take to feel relief
how to actually close the gap between childless/childfree people and parents
Last week I talked about how purpose is not something you "find". It's also not a singular mission. It's not a destination. And it doesn't have to be big.
Once you begin to practice all the things that I outlined that will bring you a sense of meaning and purpose, you may find that you are still struggling. It might mean that there is something standing in the way.
Identifying your personal obstacles is the first step. In this episode I share:
4 possible obstacles that may be standing in the way of your purpose
Purpose is not some concept that you find. It's not a destination. It's not singular. And it doesn't come from having kids. I understand why you believe it does. I did too.
It's because society tells us that when you have kids, you'll be flooded with purpose. Especially as women, becoming a mother is supposed to be our sole (and soul) purpose. And when we don't get to have kids, we end up feeling lost, unfulfilled, like there's a big open space in front of us that we don't know how to fill.
And I'm here to tell you that it's entirely possible to live a beautiful, exciting, purpose-filled life, even without kids! I've done. My clients have done it. And I'm going to give you the two steps to doing it yourself today. Tune back in next week to find out how to remove any obstacles to living your purpose.
It is so clear to me that Ruby Warrington is a thought leader in the childfree/childless space! She has authored, Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood, and in my view, the whole book was revolutionary. She discusses concepts that were swirling around vaguely in my head and my mind was blown when I saw them so well articulated on the pages of her book.
We get into some of these concepts on today's episode. Topics ranging from the "motherhood spectrum" to the urge to leave a legacy and it's link to the fear of death. We discussed grief and self-worth and even sex and homophobia.
Have a listen to this episode and find out for yourself, how diverse the issues really are when you are woman without kids and how simply changing your perspective can actually change how you feel about your circumstances.
Many childless people don't even realize they are grieving. Who would have known you can grieve the loss of an imagined future? What I find is that many women without kids, even those who choose not to have them, feel some sort of grief and it's not always the loss of that future. Identifying what specifically you're grieving is key to processing it.
In this solo episode, I'm giving you the first step of the Grow Through Grief pillar of my framework: identify what hidden grief might be lying under the surface. That is, after you realize or admit that you are feeling grief.
I'm sharing 7 different less-obvious things you might be grieving and didn't even know it. Many of these will resonate even with those who chose not to have kids, or those who are sort of ambiguous about it. So have a listen no matter what your circumstances.
These are 5 steps you haven't heard before. You've probably heard people talk about staying off social media and opting out of Mother's Day emails. Maybe doing something nice for yourself and saying "no" to the celebrations. These are all valid things you can do to avoid feeling the pain of Mother's Day as a childless woman who wanted to be a mother.
And yet, they're all band-aid solutions. None of them will actually help you feel better next year on this day. Or throughout the year. None of them will help you to live a happy, purpose-driven, joyful life as a woman without kids every day.
My steps for navigating Mother's Day go against the grain. They'll seem counterintuitive but they work.
And if you want to take this a step further and find out my exact framework for living a purposeful, happy life as a childless woman THIS year so next Mother's Day feels amazing, email me the word "Mother's Day" at sheri@sherijohnson.ca or @sherijohnsoncoaching.
Menopause is a huge transformational time for women and another topic that we don’t talk about enough. Women may joke about their memory, or hot flashes or complain about heavy periods. But they don’t talk about the deep stuff. The vulnerable stuff. Or the scary stuff.
There is SO much going on for women during perimenopause and midlife, and childless women experience it, quite often, right alongside trying to start a family before it’s too late. That, to me, adds a whole other element.
In this solo episode, I shed light on:
what childless women experience that is different from the norm
why we want to hold onto our youth even more than a mother might
how to defy societal conditioning and move through this period in your life with joy
DM me "AGING" on Instagram @sherijohnsoncoaching if you are ready to let go of societal norms so you can love your childless midlife.
It's hard to fit in when you are in the minority. Childless women over 40 make up roughly 20% of the population (depending on what country you live in). Sometimes I wonder how many of them are living in the larger cities because it sure feels like everyone around me in my little town are parents.
But what if we embraced this unchosen nonconformity? What if we unleashed the inner rebel within us and did EVERYTHING our own way? How liberating would that feel, especially if you let go of what everyone else thought about it?
In this solo episode, we'll explore together...
the societal pressures and expectations placed on women to conform to traditional roles and identities, even after they know they won't have children
how to overcome the fears around truly embracing authenticity, defying societal norms, and forging your own path to fulfillment
how to uncover alternative paths for yourself and have the courage to fulfill them without feeling the need to justify it to others
getting through the self-doubt
If you want to take one step towards your best life, download my free PDF guide to Create Your Best Year, Even Without Kids.
In our current society, women without kids make up anywhere between 15 and 25% of the adult female population, depending on the country. Recently, I started to wonder what life would look like - what grief would look like - if that were reversed.
If mothers were in the minority, would childless women feel so much FOMO, inadequacy or lack of belonging? Would the grief run as deep? Would we still wonder what our legacy or purpose is?
Join me for this solo episode where I contemplate:
aging in a world where childless women made up a larger proportion of the population than mothers
how different purpose and legacy might look in this alternative reality
what grief might look like for women without kids
It's this kind of reality that I'm creating inside the Women of Worth group immersion. A place where childless women feel a sense of belonging, meaningful connection, an open space to create their best lives, even without kids.
If you want to take one step towards your best life, download my free PDF guide to Create Your Best Year, Even Without Kids.
Have you ever come away from a conversation thinking "gosh, "people just don't get it"? Either they say something insensitive or simply can't empathize with your childless circumstances.
It's definitely happened to me. Even recently. But the mistake I see in the childless space is the assumption that there is nothing you can do about it. You just have to deal with the irritation or "trigger" and move on somehow.
What I have noticed, in myself and my clients, is that there IS something you can do about it. The first step is recognizing when it's happening and then taking steps to do what's in your own control instead of trying to change them.
Listen to this solo episode to find out:
what lies beneath the feeling that people "just don't get it"
10 different ways that your feelings might be invalidated
4 steps you can take to avoid feeling this way
DM me or email me the word "empathy" if you're ready to find true connection and empathy within a community that understands you.
Anger is an emotion that comes up a lot with my childless clients who wanted kids. Anger can be a really complicated emotion because it's not only an emotion in and of itself, but it can also disguise other emotions.
What makes it even tougher to manage is that most little girls are taught not to express the tough emotions. Anger is something boys are allowed to show, but not girls. Yes, even in today's society. So you might be someone who was conditioned to suppress anger, and maybe other negative emotions as well.
Join me on this episode as I share:
the difference between true anger and anger that disguises other emotions
why we feel anger and the mistakes you might be making to avoid it
what to do about anger specific to your childless path
If you are ready to let go of anger so you can feel at peace with your path, send me a DM on Instagram or an email at sheri@sherijohnson.ca with the word "anger".
As I embark on the next 100 episodes on the Awakening Worth Podcast, I spend this session reflecting on the deeper reason I keep hitting record and why you should keep hitting the play button.
I've come to realize that so many of us are stuck in this pronatalist ideology and it's impacting, well...really, all of humanity. It's us, the childless women, who feel it the most, but it's affecting all of us.
On this solo episode, I'm delving into:
what pronatalism is and why you need to start paying attention to how it's affecting you
the magic that will happen when we start dismantling it
the difference between grief and feeling like you don't belong, or like a second class citizen next to the moms
the two epidemics we're experiencing in our culture that no one is talking about
What if we, the childless women, are the ones who can break down and break free of this centuries old ideology? What if it's us, who can lead the transformation of our society and deeply impact the lives of not just other childless women, but women in general?
If you want to be a part of this kind of transformation and change in the world, start by taking my Self-Worth quiz to find out how deeply pronatalism is impacting YOU. sherijohnson.ca/quiz
Celebrating 100 episodes today! My husband, Mike Johnson, and I mark this special occasion together on the podcast with a conversation that makes its way through life without children from HIS perspective. As we share the narrative of our journey, from the heartbreak of miscarriage to the multitude of decisions along the fertility treatment path, we peel back the layers of our different perspectives.
Mike lends his voice to explore the complexities of a partner's role in facing childlessness, an area frequently overshadowed by the focus on women. We shed light on the decision-making process behind IVF and donor eggs and dissect the influences that his own previous life-altering events had on the anticipation of parenting.
This milestone episode doesn't just celebrate the podcast's growth; it honors the dance that happened while adapting our hopes for the future together.
Mike gets pretty vulnerable and open during our conversation with some questions that took him off guard. Join us for the raw and honest episode!
The moment I sat in quiet meditation with an energy healer, I never anticipated the floodgates of emotional pain that would open from my womb space. That pivotal encounter ignited a journey into womb healing, leading me to create womb healing retreats that help women to release emotions stored in the womb space.
On today's episode, I replay a conversation that my sister, Jen, had on her show, Leading with Grace. We venture into the transformative power of acknowledging and addressing womb trauma, not just for those who've grappled with infertility or sexual trauma, but for any (and we argue ALL) woman.
You are going to discover:
what womb "trauma" is and how almost every woman has experienced some kind of it
how we store emotion in the womb space in much the same way that we store stress in our shoulders
how and why releasing this emotion allows you to tap into purpose, self-worth, creativity and your innate intuitive gifts.
This one is more than just a conversation; it's an invitation to transform your deepest wounds into unparalleled strength.
To find out more about our Energetic Womb Healing Virtual Retreat, visit sherijohnson.ca/womb Deadline to sign up is Thursday, Feb. 29th.
This episode is a bit controversial. I think there's this an expectation that if you are a woman, you are onboard with everything International Women's Day stands for. But I'm not known for just getting on board with something simply because of an expectation. Do I want women to rise? Yes. Do I want there to be equitable pay in the workforce? Yes. Do I want to see more women at the top? Absolutely!
At the same time, there are some aspects of IWD that I look at from a different perspective. I'm sharing all my thoughts on this episode and I'm curious about your reaction.
You'll hear me discuss:
how I won't strive for equality, but I will strive for equity
I'm doing a solo episode today and pulling back the curtain on pronatalism even further. In this episode, I will peel away the layers of this pervasive belief system, examining how it shapes the sense of purpose and self-worth in those of us without children. By uncovering historical and contemporary pressures from society, government, and religion, we pave the way for acceptance and a redefined sense of meaning and purpose beyond traditional expectations.
Tune in to find out:
what pronatalism is and how it affects our subconscious beliefs about purpose
how my own sense of purpose and fulfillment unfolded over a number of years
how your own sense of purpose might be affected by pronatalism and what to do about it
As a leader in the childless space, Maria Hill brings a ton of wisdom to this episode. Her story of parental and societal expectations as a woman growing up in the 60's shed so much light on what we are going through now as childless women.
Maria and I cover some unexpected topics in this conversation from how Ayurveda supports the grief journey to highly sensitive people to the patriarchy and how it's impacting us all.
The most fascinating part of the conversation for me though, was on the topic of how our current culture perpetuates survival mode. You'll discover:
how our society and the leaders within it are keeping us from thriving
some of the surprising ways that we can shift our mindset as women without kids
Maria's best tip for women just embarking on the childless path
Legacy. It's a word I hear a lot in the childless community. What kind of legacy will I leave now that I'm not having kids? As though having kids is the only way to leave a legacy.
In this episode, I'll unpack:
what legacy is and the role of ego in this need to leave a legacy behind
how to know if you're ego is coming into play and the mistakes you might be making while trying to leave a legacy
how to delink children and legacy
strategies for redefining legacy
To get Sheri's FREE guide to Create Your Best Life Even Without Kids, click here.
A feeling of regret and fear of future regret are two things I hear so many childless women talk about. We regret decisions and choices we made in the past that have led to our current circumstances. We also are afraid to make decisions in the present because we might regret them later.
I'm going to unpack it all in this episode. You'll find out:
what is regret and what purpose does it serve
what happens when you stay stuck in regret or stuck in decisions because of the fear of it
how to make peace with it and truly live with no regret
It's entirely possible to step into peace and acceptance of your path without feelings of regret. If you want that, send me a DM on Instagram with the words "ep 94" and I'll show you how.
Embarking on the path of adoption or deciding against it—either one is a journey laden with emotion and complexity. Today, I open my heart to you in a candid narrative of my own experiences with the profound choice of not adopting.
We'll cover the unpredictable adoption landscape, unpack societal expectations, and contemplate the often-overlooked emotional and logistical hurdles that can steer one away from this life-altering decision.
Listen to this episode and also discover:
How I answer the question, "why not just adopt?"
How shame and self-worth show up during the route to and away from adoption
What to do if you're stuck in the decision
If you're struggling with the tangle of societal expectations, judgment, fears and your own true desires that keep people from making a decision, DM me "ep 93" on Instagram and I'll guide you through it.
I continue to be enlightened and inspired by my good friend, Kirsten Frey. She returns for a second time on this episode to share her expertise on recovering from grief and opens us up to the multitude of different kinds of loss.
We tend to think of the acute sense of loss after a loved one has passed as the primary type of grief, but there are 40 other kinds of valid loss that may not have anything to do with physical death. The realization that you're never going to be a mother is one of them.
If you're a woman without kids, or even if you're a mother, this episode is going to blow your mind. Kirsten and I discuss:
what "completing" grief is and we answer the question as to whether grief can ever be fully processed and healed
the difference between tangible and intangible loss
the importance of acknowledging and feeling your emotions
why taking action is imperative for moving through grief
Kirsten Frey is a Transitional Life Coach, Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist and Reiki Guide.
I used to start every year during my pursuit of motherhood thinking, "this is going to be my year". And it never was. Once I came to terms that my future was going to be childless, it started to look pretty dismal. And yet, I wanted to feel optimistic about the year ahead. What I didn't realize was that I had some obstacles in my way that needed breaking down. Consciously.
In this solo episode, you'll discover:
what those 5 obstacles are
how to identify if they're standing in the way of your joyful 2024
what to do if they are
Join me, and let's step into 2024 with courage, grace, and the freedom to craft a life of meaning, motherhood aside.
If you are ready to create a joyful 2024, DM me "episode 91" on Instagram.
It's 3 days before Christmas as I record this special episode. This is not my usual all-talk episode or guest interview. Today, in this heartfelt episode, I'll guide you through a visualization exercise that promises to lift your spirits and shift your emotional state towards love and joy.
So find yourself a quiet spot where you won't be disturbed, put your ear pods in and get ready to transform. This powerful meditation will change your whole day, if not your entire holiday.
If you are a childless woman, and you want more of this, meditations and visualizations are something we do a lot of inside the Women of Worth group immersion and I'm opening up a new cohort in January. Head to my IG account and DM me "ep 90" if you want to find out more.
It's pretty normal to feel like you don't belong when you're a childless woman. We grow up thinking that eventually, we'll belong to the mom club. And then it leaves us with a pretty big feeling of exclusion when we don't get to join.
Most people in the childless space, assume that this feeling of not fitting in is a part of the grief and that once the grief starts to lift, we'll also start to feel more included. But that is not the case.
In this episode, I'm going to share :
why belonging is actually a deeply seated survival need
how and why does this survival instinct show up when our basic needs for survival are already met
3 ways to hone your own sense of belonging without relying on the people around you to include you
If you are ready to start taking action toward developing your own sense of belonging, DM me "ep 89" and I'll share how you can take this deeper!
When we want something, it's not actually that thing that we want. It's the feeling that we imagine we'll have when we have the thing. When I wrapped my head around this concept, I could use it to determine exactly what I wanted to feel and how to bring those positive emotions into the holidays.
The holidays don't have to be full of dread. They used to be for me. I'd avoid anything that had to do with kids and stuck to the adults-only parties and activities as much as I could. And then I suffered through the rest.
But then I found a way to intentionally create the holidays I wanted. For me, that was a season full of peace, joy, beauty and a little excitement and anticipation sprinkled in.
In this episode, I share:
exactly how I shifted my mindset around the holidays and now, dare I say, love the season
how I was able to tap into my true desires and the feelings I imagined they would bring
the holiday traditions that bring me those exact feelings
If you want to find out more about how you can find Meaning Beyond Motherhood, DM me "focus group" to join my free focus group for childless women.
No one likes to be pitied. And childless women who wanted kids are no different. I certainly don't like it and I did feel as though people pitied me when I first began to accept that I would never be a mom. But when my clients started asking how to get past pity, I realized that I didn't feel it at all anymore and had to really dig into how I shifted my perception. Because the people around me certainly haven't changed. I did.
On this episode, you're going to find out:
what pity really is and why it feels so isolating
how to know if you are actually being pitied and how self-pity comes into play
how to shift your mindset so that you never feel pity again
I’m really curious to hear how this episode lands for you. It’s a tough topic and one that comes up a lot. If it has for you, then my next question for you is this: are you going to continue to just plow through and hope that you just wake up on the other side of it all ? Or will you take some action, and figure out a way to let go of feeling pitied?
If you are the latter, head over to Instagram and send me a DM at @sherijohnsoncoaching with the words “ep. 87” . I’ll give you the step by step.
If you’re already worried about feeling grief and triggers while at a family gathering or social event through the holidays, this episode is for you. I’m going to give you some solid steps for preparing yourself before, during and after so you can breeze through them like a woman of grace.
You'll discover:
the mistakes I (and many childless women) make when planning for the holidays
how to avoid resentment and maintain your boundaries
the steps you can take before, during and after a gathering so you can actually enjoy socializing, even when there are kids around
If you want to go deeper, head over to my Instagram account and send me a DM with the words "episode 86" to get a copy of my holiday guide for childless women.
The holidays are probably one of the toughest times for childless women. Grief can hit at unexpected moments and the triggers seem to be all over the place. They hit our social media feeds, our shopping excursions, and the middle of the football game on TV. Even a quick trip to the grocery store can seem daunting.
One of the hardest things about it might be imagining how futures holidays might look without all the traditions you thought you'd be creating with your kids.
I know how this all feels and yet, I've managed to create a holiday season that I absolutely love. On this episode, I share my best 10 tips for you to create yours.
You'll find out:
how to process the grief that comes up
how to prepare for the potential triggers and release them
what to do if you want to redesign your holidays in a way that feels good for you
Head to Sheri's Instagram Account and DM her "ep 85" if you'd like a copy of the free guide that goes along with this episode.
If you are a childless woman who feels triggered by how mom-focused and kid-centric our society seems to be, you might be stuck in the pronatalist ideology. If you're stuck here, you often feel like you are somehow worth less than mothers, you get irritated when someone asks if you have children, you feel as though you're treated differently at work, at church or even in your social circles.
Breaking free of the societal norms and expectations that stem from pronatalism is a key piece to feeling worthy in the world. This is why I do what I do. Ultimately, when we are able to shift our mindset as childless women, the world we see begins to change.
On this solo episode, I am going to unpack pronatalism and its influence on how we feel about ourselves as childless women. You'll discover:
what pronatalism is
my own story about how it affected my decisions on the childless path
the mistakes I was making while trying to navigate pronatalism
how pronatalism negatively affects mothers as well
what do to about it all
My journey is not just about sharing experiences but also about extending an invitation to you. Together, we can challenge these outdated ideologies and empower ourselves to define our worth. If you want me to show you how, DM me "episode 84" on Instagram.
Are you feeling like you're navigating uncharted territory as a step-parent without any children of your own? I'm not a step-parent myself, but I've learned from my clients that it can be complicated with its own set of challenges and emotions.
Join me today as I interview Gail Miller, who is a life coach, maternal fetal medicine physician, TEDx speaker, founder of Path Onward Life Coaching, and step-parent.
Gail's journey of acceptance as a childless woman and step-parent is a testament of resilience and courage, a saga that will move, inspire, and empower you to challenge societal norms and live a fulfilling life despite some unique struggles.
Listen to this episode to find out:
Gail's story through the ups and downs of caring for children who are not her own
3 tips for setting boundaries, handling expectations and cultivating a positive relationship with your stepchildren.
Insights for handling sensitive conversations with your healthcare provider from Gail's first hand experience as a physician who supports high risk pregnancies
If you’re grieving your dream of becoming a parent, you probably assumed at least someone amongst your family and friends would provide you with the support and empathy you need. And yet, my own experience, and that of most of my clients, is that their closest friends and family - and sometimes even their partner - are not able to offer empathy or understanding.
This is why looking for support among those closest to you – or worse, expecting it from them – might not be the best way to get the support you need.
Here's what you'll discover in this episode:
Why support may not come from your loved ones
Why childless women tend to minimize or invalidate their feelings and struggles
How to source genuine support
What to do to truly accept and receive support
Impact Question: Have you deemed yourself, or your grief, not worthy of receiving support? If you've answered yes, send me a DM with the word "support" and I'll show you how to get the support you need, whenever you need it.
Lisa Hohenadel uses an intriguing behavioural therapy method to help childless women work through the grief and triggers. It's called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy or DBT. I've never come across this particular type of therapy before and I wanted to hear more about how Lisa uses it in her coaching practice.
Here's what you'll discover in this episode:
what is DBT and how Lisa discovered that it would work on her own grief while coming to terms with the fact that she would never be a mom
how to manage some of the trickier situations we encounter as childless women
3 DBT tools for managing triggers and grief and how to use them on yourself
Get a free copy of Lisa's "10 Tips for Managing your Triggers": Send an email to familyredifinedwithlisa@gmail.comor go to Lisa's Instagram and DM the word "resource" for a copy.
If you've found yourself stuck in grief and triggers unable to get past it, today's episode is for you.
I'm unpacking five major blunders that keep childless women from moving forward and embracing their future.
And don't worry, I made every single one of these mistakes and so do my clients. I'm sharing them here not to judge, or cause you to judge yourself, but to show you that when you stop making these mistakes, your grief and triggers will lift.
You'll be able to genuinely support your pregnant cousin, attend the baby showers with grace and sit through your friends' stories about their kids with curiosity and interest.
It's such a relief! In this episode, we'll cover:
the 5 biggest mistakes childless women make
the consequences of making these mistakes and what happens when you stop
Did you know that most financial plans and planning software are geared entirely to the traditional parenting path? I hadn't really thought about how my saving, spending, retirement and estate planning might be totally different than that of my child-rearing friends. Until I met Jay Zigmont.
Jay Zigmont, holds a PhD, MBA, and CFP® and is the Founder of Childfree Wealth, a life and financial planning firm dedicated to helping Childfree and Permanently Childless people. Childfree Wealth is the first life and financial planning firm dedicated to serving people without kids.
In this episode, Jay shares his story about how he came to be on the childless path and what lead him to start Childfree Wealth. It was a fascinating and enlightening discussion where Jay shares:
why financial plans for people without kids often looks entirely different than that of a parent
the questions you can ask yourself that will help you uncover what you want to save for and spend your money (and energy) on
tips for choosing a financial planner
Dr. Jay is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™, Childfree Wealth Specialist, and author of the book “Portraits of Childfree Wealth.” Dr Jay is the co-host of the Childfree Wealth podcast. His Ph.D. is in Adult Learning from the University of Connecticut.
He has been featured in Fortune, Forbes, MarketWatch, Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Business Insider, CNBC, and many other publications. In 2023, he was named a “Rising Star” by Financial Planning.
Has someone ever said to, "you're so lucky you don't have kids"? If you wanted kids, of course you don't feel very lucky to have that unfulfilled dream. Sometimes I wonder if parents say things like this - or complain about their kids - to us childless women because they want us to feel as though we're not missing out on anything great. But then, of course, they swoon over their kids in the next breath.
In this solo episode, I break down:
the misconceptions we carry about this statement and how it affects our reaction
what happens when you reframe these misconceptions
There's this misconception out there that if you can get past the grief of your unexpected childless circumstances, your future will somehow just appear brighter. But unfortunately that's not true in most cases.
You've probably come across women in their 50's and 60's who are still struggling to feel worthy, happy and confident in their lives. Do you really want to go another 5, 10 or 20 years of living life not quite happy?
No! You deserve to be joyful, not just in your future, but right NOW in the present. In this episode, you'll find out:
the story of living my entire life as it landed on my plate - very little of it was truly intentional - and where that landed me
the mistake many childless women make when thinking about their future
the first three steps to manifesting joy in the present, not just the future
What if I told you that you could still have a bright future without children? It's all about identifying your desires and taking actionable steps towards achieving them. To support you on this journey, I'm introducing my Women of Worth group immersion. It's a group coaching experience that will support, empower and guide you towards embracing your childless future and present.
Navigating a sea of baby showers and first birthdays can feel isolating, especially as a woman who has not had children. If you've found yourself avoiding friends with young ones or feeling a twinge of envy every time a pregnancy announcement pops up on your feed, you're not alone. In this episode, we're confronting those feelings head-on, not as something to be ashamed of, but as a step towards finding peace.
You will discover:
3 mistakes childless women make when it comes to envy
how to identify the actual emotion you're feeling when you see a pregnancy announcement
the first 3 steps to facing envy and working through
Jody Day is back for a second episode on the podcast! Our first conversation was so eye-opening for me, I had to have her back after I had actually digested all of what she shared with me.
Jody is often referred to as the founder of the "childless movement" and is the founder of Gateway Women, a global advocacy and support network for childless women. She’s the author of what many professionals consider to be the ‘go-to’ book on the topic, "Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children" (link below).
Jody was chosen as one of the BBC’s 100 Women in 2013 & a UK Digital Woman of the Year in 2021. She’s a global thought leader on female involuntary childlessness, a psychotherapist, a 2017 and 2022 TEDx speaker, and she’s been an Ambassador for World Childless Week since its inception in 2017.
Jody and I have a deep and eye-opening conversation about ageism and pronatalism in today's society and how they affect childless women's perception of their future. We delve into the fears, challenges, societal and economic impacts associated with aging without children. We explore body image and self-perception through midlife as well as purpose and potential of childless women.
Listen to this episode to discover:
how childless women can shift their mindset about midlife, ageing and who will take care of them when their old
a powerful exercise for reconciling connection with your body - something that most women lose as early as their teen years
This is an extra-special episode as my twin sister, Dr. Jennifer Reimer, joins me. As two women who were childless until our 40s, we unravel the deep societal pressures, personal grief, and associated triggers on the pregnancy loss and infertility journey that we travelled at the same time. We came to a pivotal moment within weeks of each other: the decision to do IVF or not. This is where our paths split.
The real topic of this episode is the societal glorification of busyness and how it often masks the pain and feelings of unworthiness, in both mothers and in childless women.
Jennifer and I share our battles with the "six faces of doing", the different ways we've stayed busy to avoid dealing with our true feelings. We explore societal norms and the undue pressure they place on us, making us feel inadequate if we aren't mothers. This heart-to-heart conversation will urge you to question your own preoccupation with busyness and its correlation with your self-worth.
In this episode, you'll discover:
the three reasons childless women are just as busy as mothers
Jen's "6 Faces of Doing", the ways in which we keep ourselves busy, with a spotlight on perfectionism and people-pleasing
how the recognition and confrontation of these causes of busyness can lead to an elevation in self-worth
If you're a woman without kids, you are likely keenly aware of some of the judgments out in the media and in the world about childfree women being selfish, lonely and unable to truly know unconditional love.
But as a woman who didn't make that choice, what are your feelings toward those who did? What I discovered deep within myself, was some judgment. And it was keeping me from fully embracing a happy future without children.
Listen to this episode to find out:
Whether you're also judging childfree women
What happens when you let go of your identity as a childless woman who wanted kids
Have you ever had a deeply personal dream not come true? Have you felt pressured by societal expectations conflicting with your own path? Join us on a journey with Stephanie Joy Phillips, the incredible head and founder of World Childless Week, who will share with us her journey of not becoming a mother. As a child, Stephanie dreamed of motherhood, but life led her in a different direction - to create a community for childless women, providing support for those who share her experience.
In this episode, Stephanie and Sheri discuss:
the unique challenges childless women face, whether they're rooted in biology, finances, society, or mental health
some of the lesser known reasons that women remain childless
the therapeutic power of connection and expression
Stephanie shares how writing and reaching out to others can alleviate the weight of grief and fortify your emotional strength. We celebrate World Childless Week's incredible expansion since its inception in 2017 and the invaluable emotional refuge it provides for those affected by childlessness. Let's honor every woman's worth, whether they are a mother or not, and learn more about this often misunderstood community.