#boardingoninsanity #boardingschoolsyndrome #emotionalintelligence #gabormaté #attachmenttheory 

Boarding On Insanity Relaunches On Saturday | National News Coverage Sunday 

To join the waiting list for the documentary: https://www.boardingoninsanity.com/ 

And to read the newspaper article from 20th April here: https://www.theguardian.com/theobserver/magazine 

Take care, Piers 

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I talk about being the sibling, brother or sister of a boarding school survivor.

What might have been the impact on you of having your sibling being separated from you and put into a boarding school?

Here I explore some of the psychology of the breaking of attachment and the rupture that the siblings must have felt.

Beliefs along the lines of: "there must be something wrong with me" "I am not special" might arise in the psyche.

The boarder will not have been able to share their experiences and due to the perception that boarding schools are a privilege the child left at home might think there is something wrong with them. Why am I not privileged?

Some reflections and thoughts following a great question.

Take care,

Piers

#siblings #boardingschoolsurvivor #rupture #attachmenttheory

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 A few reflections about the death of my wife. 

How has the last week been? 

I share some of my grief. 

And I talk about the documentary premiere in 10 days time in London at the Rio in Dalston: https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/ 

We have decided to go ahead with the premiere as my wife was so supportive of the film.

Take care,

Piers

#boardingoninsanity #grief #loss #boardingschoolsyndrome 

https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/ 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

What is the impact of taking a child age 13 away from their family for a year and putting them in a boarding school?

And during that year the child only sees their parents once for Xmas?

What would happen to that child especially if they were put into one of the top boarding schools in the UK, Westminster?

Today I am speaking with author Andrew Kavchak who shares his own experience of living away from his parents for a whole year at Westminster.

He shares his loneliness, how it felt like he “had been dumped in a foreign orphanage,” and how he struggled with his studies.

A really fascinating conversation. I also really recommend his book.

---

Andrew Kavchak was born in Montreal and has called Ottawa home since the late 1980s. Andrew studied political science (M.A.) and law (LL.B.) at university and then joined the federal civil service to pursue a career in public policy. After a lengthy career in the bureaucracy he began writing books that are available on Amazon. Today we will be talking about his book, Westminster: Reflections of a Boarder.

Some questions for Andrew:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. What drew to you to writing your book about boarding school?
2. In writing your book you talk about the history of boarding school. What did you learn about the tradition of boarding?
3. Having been brought up in Canada what was it like being in a British boarding school. How much of a culture shock was it for you?
4. What was the number one thing that stood out to you about boarding? Both positive and negative.
5. What was the long separation from your parents like for you?
6. You mention having a big emotional release after watching an interview with Nick Duffell. Could you talk us through that please? What happened? 
7. Other areas to talk about:

• How historically Public School boys seemed to have preferential treatment (P.73)
• What is the HMC and is it still in place? (P.79)
• The lack of privacy (P.103)
• John Dancy and Public Schools and the Future. I found what he wrote shocking. What was your response to his words? (P.106-109)
• Belonging and exclusion
• Abandonment and alienation
• How boarding school affected you
• Success and failure
• History and modernity

#lifeofaboarder #westminster #boardingschoolsyndrome #abandonment

To buy Andrew's books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Westminster-School-Reflections-Andrew-Kavchak/dp/B0BYR8PG12/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?keywords=andrew+kavchak&qid=1704370296&sr=8-1-fkmr0

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Touch is so important for #childdevelopment.

Last week I was reading author Andrew Kavchak's book about his boarding school experience:

"One of the features of being at a boarding school that contributed to my starting to feel like a grape drying on the vine and shriveling up like a raisin was the absense of any touching with another human being.

As the much-needed physical contact had vanished from my life I began to feel as though I was a Ieper."

Researchers, like Aikaterini -Katerina Fotopoulou talk about the importance of touch in human development.

Today I talk about the importance of touch and the lack of touch in boarding schools. How might that impact the children who are rarely touched for large parts of childhood?

#touch #trauma #traumarecovery #boardingschoolsyndrome #boardingschool

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

In working with ex-boarders I see that we are so hard on ourselves. 

Our inner critic can be brutal. 

Today I share some thoughts about #selfcompassion. 

What are 3 ways of cultivating it? #compassion 

https://youtu.be/PhHJ_ZlaaMc 

For the film fundraising: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/boarding-on-insanity#/ 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 Wishing you all a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year. 

Here's to a year of healing and moving into wholeness. 

Today I was asked some questions by someone who was going out with an ex-boarder. 

She tells me: "My ex partner is a boarding school survivor. We recently split up and I really miss him. I feel like he loves me, but pushes me away. I am wondering if I should just give him space? 

1. He pushes me away so much, so the point where he has blocked my number. Then, once I find a way to talk to him again, he acts like he really loves me. 

2. Is there a way I can get him to open up and talk to me? 

3. How can I express my needs to him without him getting frustrated and giving up?" 

Today I offer some reflections drawing on the work of attachment theory and the work of John Bowlby, CG Jung and Dr Diane Poole Heller. 

Warm regards, Piers 

#boardingschoolsurvivor #attachmenttheory #relationships 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

On today's podcast I am speaking with best selling author Michael Davitt, who writes under the pen name, Luke Pemberton.

Today he talks about some of his mental health journey.

He talks about his breakdown while working in the diplomatic service and how he links that into complex PTSD and his time spent as child growing up and at boarding school.

He also talk about Boris Johnson and how his boarding school experiences might have impacted his leadership.

---

Michael Davitt is an author focusing on mental health issues. He has published five books to-date under his author pseudonym, Luke Pemberton. His books are based around a series of his drawings illustrating how he experienced, and then recovered from, complex-PTSD stemming from emotional neglect in childhood. Prior to writing these books, Michael worked in the diplomatic field after several years in the private sector. He is from Porthcawl in South Wales and is now based in Vienna, Austria.

Some questions for Michael:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you start to realise the impact that boarding school has had on you?
2. The notion that boarding school education equals privilege which can then shame people into not seeking the psychological help that many people inevitably need in adult life. 
3. How to overcome childhood trauma and the boarding school experience through:

• Acknowledging that things might have gone wrong for you in childhood and identifying the issues;
• Working through and processing the trauma (involving therapy, but most importantly honest introspection, note-taking or journaling, and then converting notes into drawings using analogies); 
• Executing a new life based on the knowledge and wisdom gained. 

1. The impact of religious education in male boarding schools." 
2. Other areas to talk about: Emotional neglect

• Complex PTSD
• The tools for recovery
• How to find your way out of despair
• Building your self-esteem

 #mentalhealth #complex ptsd #cptsd #breakdown #boardingschool #trauma

To buy Michael's books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Find-Your-When-Despair-rediscovering/dp/1781327726?ref_=ast_author_dp

Or to reach out to him: info@lukepemberton.com Or to visit his website: https://www.lukepemberton.com/ 

Published books: How to Put a Troubled Past Behind You: A FRESH, drawing-based approach (Find help, Record your feelings, Sketch your thoughts, and Harvest your success (self-published 2021).

How to Feel More Beautiful Inside: Learn to love yourself a little more, one step at a time (self-published, with ebookpartnership, 2020).

How to See Religion Differently: What questioning your beliefs can reveal, and why it can lead to a healthier mind (Silverwood Books, 2018) 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 Today I wanted to offer some reflections about the film and the current fundraising which you can find here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/boarding-on-insanity#/discussion 

We are currently half way through the fundraising. 

A big thanks for all your help. 

We have raised £5000 so far which is wonderful, thank you. 

We are starting to organise a retreat as part of the film. 

This will be a 4 day event where we will film 10 ex-boarders male and females. 

I talk a little today about what has been happening with the film. Please feel free to share the promo as much as possible. Thank you. 

Warm regards, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today's conversation is with author Person Irresponsible (PI). PI is the author of two books. 

Her first book charts her walk from the Mexico to the border of Canada in 2020. Her second book talks about her journey around the UK in a van and also shares some of her boarding school journey.

In this episode we talk about her experiences of boarding school and how that has impacted her life. She talks about how she came across the issue of boarding school while attending Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). In one meeting 5 out of the 6 attendees were ex-boarders.

PI shares her journey of recovery and also talk about her experiences of being a third culture kid (third country kid). She also shares the difference between girls boarding schools and co-ed boarding schools. What does happen in a girls boarding school?

A fascinating conversation.

---

Person Irresponsible is the author of several bestselling book including Everywhere I Never Wanted To Go and Everything You Ever Taught Me about her travels across the UK and walking from Canada to Mexico. She is also an ex-boarder who attended two boarding schools.

Questions for PI:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you start to realise the impact that boarding school has had on you?
2. Other areas to talk about:
   1. Third culture kids
   2. Losing home
   3. Depression and how school dealt with it
   4. The language of denial – especially - “It never did me any harm...”
   5. The marketing and business side of a boarding school
   6. The psychological abuse girls are put under
   7. What were the punishments like?
   8. What in your eyes have been some of the side effects of boarding school on your life?
   9. Never settling
   10. Addictions
   11. Matriarchy

#boardingschool #girlsboardingschool #addictionrecovery #alanon 

To find out more about Person Irresponsible please visit: https://personirresponsible.com

And to buy her book please visit: https://personirresponsible.com/books or on Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Everything-You-Ever-Taught-Me/dp/1527295745

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 Stress - How To Relieve Stress. Stress Management Strategies 

Today I wanted to share some techniques for managing stress.

As trauma survivors we often struggle with stress and can get stressed quite easily.

In this podcast I wanted to share some thoughts about what you can do the next time you are feeling stressed. 

What are some practices you can use to manage your stress levels?

To support the film, Boarding on Insanity: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/boarding-on-insanity#/ 

Kelly McGonigal's Ted Talk. How to Make Stress Your Friend: https://youtu.be/RcGyVTAoXEU?si=iG0bud8yTZu-z-zj 

Warm regards,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 Review of RRR - Indian Film - The Psychology of the British Raj & The British Empire's Cruelty 

Today I wanted to offer some reflections about the Indian Telugu film, RRR, directed by Rajamouli, featuring Ram Charam and NT Rama Rao Jr. 

I watched this film at the weekend and today wanted to offer some reflections about the psychology of the British Raj which we see played out in the film. 

The story of the film starts with the British Governor played by Ray Stevenson and his wife who buy a young girl from a village they are visiting. The village presume they are being paid for the singing, not for the girl and try to get the child back.

The girl has a protector who tries to rescue the girl, a man called Bheem, played by NT Rama Rao Jr. 

The story shows his battle to get the girl back from the British whlie battling a policeman played by Ram Charam. 

I was drawn to writing a review because of how the trauma and cruelty of the British Empire is potrayed in the film and how I feel it links into the education of the British especially boarding school. 

I quote from Nick Duffell author of Wounded Leaders. 

#rrr #britishraj #britishempire #legacyofviolence 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RRR 

For more information about the film about the trauma of our leaders, Boarding on Insanity please visit: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/boarding-on-insanity/x/15184448#/ 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 What is the impact of private education on the UK? 

Should we abolish Eton?

Today on the podcast assistant professor in Sociology, Dr Sol Gamsu talks about elitism in education.

How does this show up?

And what is the impact on the UK?

---
Dr Sol Gamsu is an assistant professor in sociology at Durham University. He is also a sociologist and a geographer of education with a strong commitment to the politics of education and envisaging alternative futures for education and society more broadly. 

His research focuses on elite schooling and he was one of the co-founders of the Labour Against Private Schools Campaign/Abolish Eton in 2019.

Questions for Sol:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Why we do not need elitism in education? 
3. Why are some children worth more? What is the economic gap between state and private schools in the UK?
4. What is the impact on our education system of having such a disparity between the rich and poor schools?
5. In 2021 you wrote a report about the private-state school funding gap in England. What were your findings?
6. Could you please talk about charitable status in private schools? What is this and why is it still in place?
7. P.4: (1869): “This legislation effectively placed these schools 'beyond the reach of normal democratic process' where they have remained.” Please discuss.
8. Clarenden Commission & PS Act 1868: “great endowments were reserved for those who could pay.” You mention that this was against the founders wishes. What were the founders wishes? Is this still the case today?
9. What is the HMC? How much influence does it have?
10. What steps can we do to change the system? What are your policy recommendations?

#abolisheton #boardingschool #eliteeducation #privateschools #education

To find out more about Dr Gamsu's report please visit: https://www.common-wealth.org/publications/why-are-some-children-worth-more-than-others

https://www.durham.ac.uk/staff/sol-j-gamsu 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

What is the importance of emotional intelligence in leaders?

And why do so many leaders feel isolated, lonely and struggling with burn out?

Today, Pete Hunt, founder of Monumental, a network for growth focused leaders talks about his boarding school experiences.

What was the legacy he left boarding school with?

And how did it affect him as a leader?

An authentic and heart-felt conversation.

---

Pete Hunt is a leading men's group facilitator, podcast host and meditation teacher. He is also the founder of Monumental, which is a network for growth focused leaders.

Questions for Pete:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. What were your experiences like at boarding school? How did those experiences impact you as an adult?
3. What do you see and hear in men in who were being educated in Boarding Schools in the 1980’s and 90’s?
4. Could you please speak about the work you do with Monumental? What do you do?
5. What is the key issue with men's mental health at the moment? What can we start to do to change this?
6. Other areas to talk about:
   1. The importance of community and connection
   2. Isolation
   3. Loneliness
   4. Accountability
   5. Emotional intelligence
   6. Bullying
7. How do people find more about your work?

To find out more about Pete's work please visit: https://petehunt.com/ or www.monumental.global

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

A leading teacher and former head of department talks about the modern education system both private and state.

What is not working in the current system?

What needs to change?

What does he think about Ofsted?

A great conversation talking about Paul's experiences at a public school, boarding school and working as a teacher in the state system.

---
Paul has degrees in Geography and ICT. He has spent much of his teaching career as Head of ICT/Computing, Business Studies, Childcare & Development and Health & Social Care. He now runs Parent Guide to GCSE with his wife, Emily, which coaches parents in how to support their children through their teenage years.

Questions for Paul:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. I would love for you to speak about the difference between the private school education system and the state school system. What was it like spending time in each of those environments?
3. What was your boarding school education like?
4. What is currently not working in the modern education system?
5. What are some of the solutions to overcoming these issues?
6. Could you please talk about mental health in our education system? What are you seeing? What are the tools that are helping the young people with their mental health?
7. What can we do to start changing it?
8. What do you think of OFSTED? What are some of the stories you have heard in your time as a department head?
9. What can we do to start getting fathers to engage more with the upbringing of their children?
10. Fathers for Justice. I would love for you to speak a bit about fathers for justice. Could you please talk about your own experiences – what is the current system like and what needs, in your opinion, to change?
11. How do people learn more about you?

#education #privateschools #boardingschool #ofsted #failingeducation #fathersforjustice

To learn more about Paul and his work please visit: https://www.parentguidetogcse.com

or: https://www.parentguidetoeducation.com/

Email: paul@parentguidetogcse.com

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

A big thank you for your donations so far. 

We have raised $2500 after the first five days which is wonderful. 

Thank you. 

To watch the trailer and support the film please visit (please be aware that there is a trigger warning - some upsetting things are shared) : 

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/boarding-on-insanity/x/15184448#/ 

And if you can't financially support the film please do share via email or messenger to people who you think might really benefit from watching the trailer. 

Thank you, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

On today's conversation we explore trauma, child development, education and self-directed learning.

What is trauma? How might trauma show up as an adult.

She also talk about the modern education system. What is it like? What needs to change?

We also delve into boarding schools. What is the opinion of clinical psychologist, who specialises in education about boarding schools? Dr Fisher also attended boarding school in her sixth form. What was her experience like?

Are boarding schools developmentally damaging for children?

---

Dr Naomi Fisher is an independent clinical psychologist and EMDR-Europe trainer. She specialises in trauma, autism and alternative approaches to education. She works with children, adolescents and adults. 

She is the author of Changing our Minds: How Children Can Take Control of their Own Learning (Robinson, 2021) and A Different Way to Learn: Neurodiversity and Self-Directed Education (JKP, 2023). 

Questions for Naomi:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk about trauma and child development? How does trauma impact a child?
3. How might these trauma symptoms show up as an adult?
4. In one interview you mentioned “School is restricting children from a natural developmental process.” Could you please explain and expand? Is school the best way to educate your child?
5. What is your assessment of modern day schools? What needs to change?
6. In your clinical experience what do you think of boarding schools?
7. In my research it seems that no child development theory suggests that taking children away from parents is a good thing. If this is true, why do you think that we still say that boarding school is 'the making of us.'
8. What is neurodiversity?
9. What is a different way to learn? What is self-directed learning?
10. What is your vision for the future regarding education of our children?
11. How do people learn more about you?

To learn more about Dr Fisher and her work please visit: https://www.naomifisher.co.uk/

#trauma #childdevelopment #boardingschool #educationsystem #education #neurodiversity

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 Today I wanted to offer some more reflections about trauma recovery. 

In my own life I used to persecute myself a lot. As Pete Walker in his book Complex PTSD says, we can often have a very strong inner critic. This was me. 

Today I share some of the teachings of David Emerald from his book, The Power of TED, The Empowerment Dynamic. 

A few months ago I recorded the first part about Victim to Creator: https://youtu.be/9b75WXHtyLs Today I share the second part. 

What is the persecutor? What is the challenger and how do we move from persecutor to challenger?

I also talk about the work of Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette in King, Warrior, Magician, Lover. What is the Tyrant? 

I also spoke about the conference which will be happening this weekend in London with Joy Schaverien and Nick Duffell: https://www.bss-support.org.uk/final-call-for-conference-2023-registration/ 

Any questions please do let me know. 

Best regards, Piers 

#codependency #trauma #persecutor #tyrant #challenger #powerofted 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I am speaking with Marcus Gottlieb about sexuality in boarding schools. He talks about his experience of working with gay, lesbian and bisexual ex-boarders. 

He also talks about how boarding school was like “a penal colony on Mars” for him. He talks about fagging, being given sedatives as a home sickness medicine, what boarding school syndrome is and how it impacts adults.

A really fascinating conversation.

---

Marcus Gottlieb is an experienced psychotherapist of humanistic and integrative orientation. He is registered with the UK Council for Psychotherapy and accredited by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. One half of his practice is supporting boarding school survivors.

Questions for Marcus:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk about boarding school syndrome. What is it and how does it impact adults?
3. How was your boarding school experience like?
4. Boarding schools claim to instil 'character', self-confidence and self-reliance. Do you agree? What is your clinical experience?
5. What are some of the symptoms of boarding school syndrome as an adult?
6. Could you talk about the impact of sexuality in a boarding school setting?
7. How does boarding school impact us sexually, especially if we are gay, lesbian or bisexual? “...all experienced their schools as profoundly homophobic environments.” P.20
8. Why is it difficult for gay men and women to come to terms with their boarding school experience?
9. Other areas to talk about:
   1. The double bind
   2. How the body restricts itself – throat, chest
   3. Denying and ignoring the needs of the body
   4. If our leaders who have attended BS have denied and ignored their own needs how might that manifest when they are looking after a whole country?
   5. Timetabling
   6. The lack of privacy
   7. BS seem to “produce compliant conformists and sabotaging rebels.”
   8. “repressive, austere, joyless institutions from which everything tactile, sensual or voluptuous was deliberately excluded.” P.20

To reach out to Marcus or learn more about his work please visit either: https://nottinghilltherapy.co.uk/

Or: https://www.bodyinmind.london/

Or the website: https://boardingrecovery.com/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 Today I wanted to share some of the symptoms of boarding school syndrome. 

I draw upon the work of Prof Joy Schaverien and Nick Duffell. 

I also draw on my 8 years of clinical work with ex-boarders. 

What are some of the commons symptoms of having been to public school? 

You might not have had any specific trauma and yet being in the boarding school environment is considered a developmental trauma. 

How might this manifest as an adult? 

I also talk about the Boarding School Survivors conference: https://www.bss-support.org.uk/final-call-for-conference-2023-registration/ 

I will be there at the conference on the 11th November. 

And I talk about my own work with ex-boarders. You can find out more here: https://www.piers-cross.com/coaching 

And Boarding School Survivors therapists website: https://www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/private-therapy-for-boarding-school-survivors/ 

Take care, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Childhood Trauma and Forgiveness. Why We Need to Forgive Both Ourselves and Others 

 Today I wanted to share some thoughts about forgiveness. 

Why is forgiveness so important in the healing of childhood trauma? 

I talk about why forgiveness is not about condoning what others have done but it is more about ourselves. 

When we forgive we release the resentment and the hatred that we are carrying. 

I link it in to boarding school trauma and also to Jennifer Freyd's betrayal trauma. 

Here is the boarding school men's circle I spoke about: https://www.piers-cross.com/online-mens-circles 

And here is the latest podcast with leading parenting expert Sarah Ockwell-Smith: https://youtu.be/ijqYaxlXK34 

Warm regards, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

In this episode with bestselling parenting author, Sarah Ockwell-Smith, we talk about childism.

What is childism? Sarah shares that childism is the “unconscious discrimination of children in our world – and why it impacts everybody

Why are we childist as a society? Why do we not take care of our children especially in terms of discipline and sleep regimes?

Sarah talks about her new book, “Because I Said So!” about the history of childism and .

She also shares her thoughts about boarding school. Is boarding school childist?

---

Sarah Ockwell-Smith is a well known parenting expert and a highly regarded popular childcare author who writes about the psychology and science of parenting.

Sarah specialises in ‘gentle parenting’ (she is often credited as being the founder of the movement) and childism (the unconscious discrimination of children in society today).

Sarah has authored 14 parenting books, translated into over 30 languages, which have sold over half a million copies.

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please explain the core principle behind your new book, “Because I Said So!”? What is the book about? What's the main message?
3. Chapter 2: P.30: Historically, how have we treated children in the UK?
4. Chapter 3-4: Has this changed now? If not, what is still happening especially regarding discipline and sleep?
5. P.153: Cognitive dissonance: Why do people dismiss the idea of childism and get angry about it?
6. Boarding schools:  Do you feel that boarding schools are childist?
7.  P.88:“Politicians, ultimately, have control over almost every element of a child’s life.” Could it be that the reason our leaders are childist is due to their upbringings in these boarding school institutions? Many of our leaders received abuse, bullying and neglect in these schools e.g. David Cameron lost a stone in weight age 7 or 8, there was sexual abuse going on when Boris Johnson was at prep school.
   P152: “People raised on love see things differently than those raised on survival.” Joy Marino, Author. Nick Duffell: “Every single child when they arrive in a boarding institution - they have to survive. And they have to survive without their parents.”
8. Could you please talk about the UNCRC (UN Convention on the Rights of Children)? Why does there seem to be such a divide between children's and adults rights?
9. Why is our eduction system not fit for purpose?
10. What is the solution? How do we become a cycle breaker?

To connect to Sarah's website please visit:https://sarahockwell-smith.com/

To connect to her on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheBabyExpert

For her latest book, Because I Said So!: https://sarahockwell-smith.com/because-i-said-so/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Please note that some listeners might find this episode triggering. We cover some subjects which some people might find upsetting to hear.

In this episode, the creator of Judge Dredd and 2000AD talks about his experiences of attending a Catholic private school in the UK.

He shares his experiences of child sexual abuse while there. What happened?

He also shares a lot of the back story around the abuse in the Catholic Church. Why has it gone on for so long?

He talks about the safeguarding operations that the Catholic Church has put in and how effective they are, the RLSS, the CSSA.

He also talks about the Knights of St Columbus and the Masons.

---

Patrick Eamon Mills is an English comics writer and editor (who, along with John Wagner, revitalised British boys comics in the 1970s, and has remained a leading light in British comics ever since. He has been called "the godfather of British comics". His comics are notable for their violence and anti-authoritarianism. He is best known for creating 2000 AD and playing a major part in the development of Judge Dredd who was inspired by some of the abusive and violent monks at his Catholic boys' school. He also writes film treatments and screenplays, novels, and features, notably on World War One and is known for the documentary drama, Charley's War.

All of his stories are about fighting abusive authority figures. Pat would also be described as a whistleblower. He's got a really insightful grasp of the structure of the Roman Catholic Church, and how its highly organised structure has enabled a network of paedophiles to operate within it. He's working hard to expose this and make it more transparent to others.

Questions:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. When did you first realise that love of writing comics?
3. Could you please talk a little about your upbringing at Catholic Schools? What was being at Catholic schools like?
4. At what point did you start to uncover and realise what had gone on at school?
5. You started a website of survivors of abuse from your school. When did you realise that you weren't the only one to have suffered abuse? How did that feel to not be the only one?
6. How has the Catholic Church responded in your opinion to the claims of sexual abuse? Why do you think this is the case?
7. What about St Joseph's and the De Salle Brothers? How have they handled the claims against them?
8. What advice would you give to people who were abused at school either day or boarding who now want to speak up? 
9. Why is that so few people who were abused are willing to speak up? How can we change the system so that it becomes part of our culture to whistleblow when abuse or bad things have happened?
10. Could you please talk a little about the RLSS? How is this organisation supporting abuse survivors?
11. Could you talk about the financial exploitation of the Global South? What did you learn in your research?
12. I

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 This weekend with my wife and the director of my film, Boarding on Insanity we are going to be attending Gabor Mate's conference/ workshop. 

To sign up to support our film please visit: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film 

We will also be interviewing Alex Renton and Dr Suzanne Zeedyk while we are there. 

I am looking forward to it.

If you would like me to share what I learned on the conference please let me know in the comments below. 

Warm regards, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I share some really sad news. 

On Sunday 9th February my wife died. 

I have been feeling so sad. 

She was such a wonderful lady. 

So kind, loving and caring. 

Without her the film and my work would not exist. 

Thank you Michelle. Here is the interview I did with her: https://youtu.be/fKs1A_4xw7A 

Blessings, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

AEM #75 Nicky Moxey– ACES, Boarding School 

What are third culture kids? And what about military brats? 

And how does that link to boarding schools? 

Today I am speaking with author, Nicky Moxey about what third culture kids are. 

Nicky grew up in Africa but was sent to boarding school in the UK. 

She talks about the three different types of third culture kid - military, mercantile and missionary.

What is the difference between the three and why do third culture kids seem to struggle the most at boarding school? 

---

In today's episode we discuss these topics and why Nicky Moxey is a an author, an amateur historian and archaeologist who lives in the middle of rural Suffolk, UK. She is currently writing and editing a book about boarding school and has published several historical fiction books.

Questions:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please speak about your boarding school experiences. How was it for you? When did you fully realise the impact it had had on your life?
3. Could you please talk about ACES, Adverse Childhood Experiences? What are they? What is the impact of them on children and the adults they become?
4. Could you talk about the cross over between ACES and boarding school please? Is there any overlap and if so what is it?
5. Could you please talk about Third Culture Kids. What does that mean?
6. Could you please talk about your new book about boarding school? What is it about and what is the message of the book?
7. Could you also please talk about the new book about boarding schools, The Trunk in the Hall by Penny Cavenaugh? What did you think about the book? 
8. How do people find out more about your work?

#thirdculturekids #aces #boardingschoolsyndrome #adversechildhoodexperiences

To visit Nicky's website please visit: https://nickymoxey.com/

To buy Nicky's books please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=nicky+moxey&crid=98YVPH9QKK1O&sprefix=nicky+mox%2Caps%2C361&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_1_9

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 Been reading #GaborMate 's excellent book #mythofnormal. 

I talk today about the overlap between his chapter about our leaders "the traumatized leading the traumatized" and Nick Duffell's wounded leaders. 

David Cameron: Age 7 talking about his time at boarding school: 'The food was spartan. I lost a stone in weight during a single term. There was one meal that consisted of curry, rice – and maggots.’ 

Richard Branson: BBC Interview: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8mig8c 11.13
“I know that my parents sent me to boarding school because they thought that that was the best thing and the best thing for me. To bring us up tough. And my mother would say not to mollycoddle you at home. But I think that it was wrong. We would never do it with our kids or grandkids. I remember distinctly, I was 7 and a half, throwing up the first night and the matron coming in and telling me I had to mop up the sheets myself. I think that’s a bit much for a 7 and a half year old. Fortunately, things have changed a little bit since those days.” 

And more about his boarding school: “We got beaten all the time. You’d be beaten with a bare arse and sometimes until you bled. It was pretty horrendous in those days and as a dyslexic I thought I must be stupid because the word dyslexia didn’t exist. "

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

David Howe is a retired Professor and Dean for the School of Social Work and Psychosocial Sciences at the University of East Anglia, Norwich. He is the author of many book in the field of child abuse and neglect, including Attachment Theory for Social Work Practice and Child Abuse and Neglect.

Questions:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please speak about neglect. What is it?
3. Could you please talk a little about attachment. What is attachment and how important is good enough attachment for children?
4.  Could you please talk about why researchers are saying “child neglect has a more severe and adverse impact on children’s development than abuse.” (P.111)
5. What are some of the symptoms that might show up to signify a child is being neglected?
6. And might some of the symptoms be for an adult who was neglected as a child?
7.  Below is a quote from your book combined with a quote from a biography. I would love for you to speak to this and about physical neglect: “The broad characteristics of physical neglect are familiar to most childcare practitioners. Nutrition can be poor. Clothes are old or dirty or too big. Bedrooms are sparsely furnished and cold. Children are left unsupervised and under stimulated.” David Howe Child Abuse and Neglect, P.111 “The food was spartan. I lost a stone in weight during a single term (7-8 years old). There was one meal that consisted of curry, rice – and maggots. In the school grounds were woods and a lake where we could play unsupervised in green boiler suits - it is something of a miracle that no one drowned.” DC P.21
8. I would love you to talk about this from your book: “Our evidence supports the hypothesis that the most severe psychological conflicts arise from neglect.” Ney, Fung and Wicket 1994) P.111 
9.  Another quote from your book and a biography: “Take away our affective links with others and we feel vulnerable, alone and distressed.” P.112 “I missed mum and dad terribly, and on the occasional night where I felt this the worst, I remember trying to muffle my tears in my pillow whilst the rest of the dormitory slept.“In fact I was not alone in doing this. Almost everyone cried, but we all learnt to hide it, and those who didn’t were the ones who got bullied.” BG P.58
10. Could you please talk about emotional neglect. What does emotional neglect look like?

#neglect #childabuse #childhoodneglect #trauma

To buy David's books please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=david+howe&crid=3F9I74L1F8SFC&sprefix=david+howe%2Caps%2C263&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I explore the question about childhood neglect and boarding school. I draw upon the writings of David Cameron, ex-Prime Minister of England who said about his boarding school, "The food was spartan. I lost a stone in weight during a single term. There was one meal that consisted of curry, rice – and maggots. " 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7464599/How-David-Camerons-brutal-prep-school-1970s-featured-regular-beatings.html 

So today I draw upon the work of Joy Schaverien and share some thoughts from the NSPCC about neglect. 

As they say on their website: "Neglect is the ongoing failure to meet a child's basic needs and the most common form of child abuse." https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/neglect/ Is boarding school neglect? 

I also quote from Bear Grylls. 

Any questions please do let me know, 

Warm regards, Piers 

--- Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man. He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1 For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community Many blessings, 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Childhood Neglect What is it and why is it so damaging?

Today I offer some reflections about childhood trauma and neglect.

I share some reflections about the work of Bessel Van der Kolk, Gabor Mate and Judith Herman. 

I like to look through the indexes of many authors before I prepare a video or audio. Interestingly, there were no references to neglect in any of the books in the indexes.

Why is it that so few publications talk about neglect?

And yet as Simon Partridge shares: “There is a growing consensus, backed by neuroscience & among traumatologists that neglect is even more damaging to the developing child and its brain than acute abuse. As Camila Batmanghelidjh put it when I asked her once: “Because abuse, however awful, has a beginning, a middle, and an end: for a child, neglect goes on forever.”

I quote from the NSPCC: "Neglect is the ongoing failure to meet a child's basic needs and the most common form of child abuse. A child might be left hungry or dirty, or without proper clothing, shelter, supervision or health care. This can put children and young people in danger. And it can also have long term effects on their physical and mental well-being." NSPCC 

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/neglect/

Physical neglect. A child's basic needs, such as food, clothing or shelter, are not met or they aren't properly supervised or kept safe.

Educational neglect. A parent doesn't ensure their child is given an education.

Emotional neglect. A child doesn't get the nurture and stimulation they need. This could be through ignoring, humiliating, intimidating or isolating them.

Medical neglect. A child isn't given proper health care. This includes dental care and refusing or ignoring medical recommendations.

Neglect changes childhood. Children who've been neglected might experience short-term and long-term effects. These can include:
problems with brain development
taking risks, like running away from home, using drugs and alcohol or breaking the law
getting into dangerous relationships
difficulty with relationships later in life, including with their own children
a higher chance of having mental health problems, including depression.”

I also quote from the work of David Howe, the author of Childhood Abuse and Neglect and a guest on my podcast in a couple of weeks.

Any questions please do let me know,

Warm regards,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Richard Grannon shares today about narcissism, codependency and his experiences growing up in Portugal and then in boarding school.

How was it for him?

He also talks about his experiences of martial arts and what he learned from training in different martial forms.

He talks about narcissism, codependency, and complex PTSD.

He also shares about George Orwell's 1984 and some of the psychology of that story.

A really fascinating episode, thank you Richard.

---

Richard Grannon is a leading author and one of the internet's leading teachers about narcissism and codependency with over 70 million views on YouTube and 500,000 subscribers.

He is passionate about helping others defend themselves, get back on their feet, and finally free themselves from narcissistic abuse. 

Drawing on numerous forms of psychotherapy, including NLP, cognitive behavioral therapy, zen meditation, psychodynamics, and more, Grannon’s unique methodology offers a direct, practical solution to help narcissistic abuse victims reclaim their self-worth. 

He is the author of the book, A Cult of One.

Some areas to explore:

1. I would love for you to share how you got into the work that you now do?
2. Could you please introduce narcissism and codependency? What are they and how do they show up in people and relationships? (P.14)
3. What are some of the symptoms of narcissism? (P.78)
4. Other areas for exploration:
   1. Your boarding school experiences and how it impacted you.
   2. Boarding schools and narcissism
   3. Narcissism and our leaders
   4. Consumer capitalism and how it teaches us greed and immaturity (P.82)
   5. The psychology of combatives and martial arts – what did martial arts teach you
   6. People pleasers and the 15 traits (P. 63)
   7. The Golden Child (can do no wrong) / Black Sheep (“who cannot do anything right” (P.66)
   8. The difference between PTSD and Complex PTSD
   9. NPD “It was seen as excessive self-admiration rooted in a failure to develop feelings of love outwards in childhood.”) P.66)
   10. Narcissistic abuse
5. How do people find out more about your work?

#narcissism #narcissisticabuse #codependency #trauma #boardingschool

To reach out to Richard please visit her website: https://www.richardgrannon.com/

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/richard.grannon.spartanlifecoach

On Twitter: https://twitter.com/GrannonRichard

To buy his books please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Cult-One-Deprogram-Yourself-Narcissistic/dp/B0BSGCR6XR/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=richard+grannon+books&qid=1689696550&sprefix=richard+gr%2Caps%2C221&sr=8-1

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 What Is Trauma? 

Today I wanted to share some thoughts from Gabor Mate, Peter Levine and Bessel Van der Kolk on trauma. 

What is it? 

What is the definition of trauma? 

Any questions please do let me know. 

Warm regards, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I explore the question about child abuse and boarding school. 

I draw upon the writings of David Cameron, ex-Prime Minister of England, who said about his boarding school, "The food was spartan. I lost a stone in weight during a single term. There was one meal that consisted of curry, rice – and maggots. " https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7464599/How-David-Camerons-brutal-prep-school-1970s-featured-regular-beatings.html 

And I alsoI draw upon the work of Joy Schaverien and share some thoughts from the NSPCC about neglect. As they say on their website: "Neglect is the ongoing failure to meet a child's basic needs and the most common form of child abuse." https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/neglect/ Is boarding school neglect? 

I quote from Bear Grylls, Eddie Izzard and also from the Children and Young People’s Commissioner Scotland, Bruce Adamson who says that "The decision to take a child away from family and community and deprive them of their liberty must only be done when it is in the child’s best interest, as a last resort and for the shortest period possible." https://www.cycj.org.uk/news/aces-distance-resilience/. 

Link to my boarding school trauma and recovery workshop this Saturday 12th August 10-5pm: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-trauma-recover-workshop 

Any questions please do let me know, 

Warm regards, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

On today's podcast I am speaking with Yuval Mann about many fascinating areas around sex and relationships.

How do we deal with feelings of sexual shame that we may have carried from childhood?

Yuval talks about the importance of coming back into the body and slowing down.

A really fascinating episode.

---

Yuval Mann is the founder of the Sensual Alchemy School Of Integrated Sexuality and he's spent well over 10,000 hours learning, experimenting, exploring, and teaching people about sex and love. He also hosts the Sensual Alchemy Podcast.

Areas that we explore:

1. I would love for you to share how you got into the work that you now do?
2. Could you please talk about some of your journey through trauma and sex? What did you learn? How did you start to heal your trauma around sexuality?
3. Could you please talk about feelings? How important are they as a compass of raw, evolutionary aliveness?
4. Some areas to talk about:
   1. Sex, Kabbalah and mysticism – sacred sexuality
   2. Porn addiction
   3. Masturbation and self-pleasuring
   4. The belief that sex is a sin
   5. Feeling and emotions
   6. Vulnerability
   7. The importance of coming back to our bodies
   8. The importance of touch – skin hunger
   9. Shame and sex
   10. Dissociation
   11. Self-pleasuring

To find Yuval on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@yuvalmann

To visit his website: https://yuvalman.com/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

What is Boarding School Syndrome?

Today I am offering some reflections about what is boarding school syndrome. 

I often talk about boarding school syndrome in more detailed terms but today I wanted to go back to the basics.

What is it?

And what are the ABCD of boarding school syndrome as coined by Dr Joy Schaverien?

And what about the symptoms of this syndrome? What are they?

I share stories from #PrinceHarry and his time at boarding school and from #BearGrylls and his autobiography, Mud, Sweat and Tears. I also shares some of #StephenFry and his book Moab is my Washpot and even Sir Ranulph Fiennes.

For my upcoming online workshop about Boarding School Syndrome please visit here: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-trauma-recover-workshop

And please feel free to like this audio and subscribe.

Warm regards,

Piers

#boardingschool #boardingschoolsyndrome #abcd #boardingschoolsurvivors

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Ben Cole is a film director, storyteller, cinematographer and all round filmmaker. His films include 1 Giant Leap with Robbie Williams and Time of The Sixth Sun.

Questions for Ben:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. What is the film Boarding On Insanity about?
3. What drew you to make it?
4. Please share your journey of making the film. How was it for you?
5. What were some of the highs in making this film?
6. What were some of the lows?
7. Could you please talk about the movement around boarding schools as a whole?
8. What's the vision of the film moving forward?
9. How can people support the release of the film? When is it coming out?
10. What is your call to action?
11. How do people find more about your work?

To find out more about Ben new film please visit: https://boardingoninsanity.com/

And to watch the trailer: https://youtu.be/vLeAj5TiqU4

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Mervin Canham is an addictions specialist and co-leader at The Mankind Project (MKP). The MKP is an organisation aimed at changing the world one man at a time, allowing men to touch a piece of their shadow by being vulnerable with other men. 

Questions he answers:

1. I would love for you to share how you got into the work that you now do?
2. Could you please talk about addictions and addiction recovery. What was your recovery journey like and how did you get clean?
3. What was it like as a boy growing up in South Africa? What were you taught? You mentioned in another podcast that you lost your brother to suicide? How was that?
4. Could you talk about men's work and the Mankind Project? What have you learned from your years in the MKP?
5. Other areas to talk about:
   1. Vulnerability
   2. Crying
   3. Mission and purpose
   4. Confidentiality
   5. I Statements
   6. 10 Day Silent Retreat
   7. Men's circles and sitting in circles
   8. Trauma and addictions
6. How do people find out more about your work?

#addictionrecovery #mankindproject #mensmentalhealth #tears

Connect with Mervin Canham:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brothershabazz/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mervin.canham
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mervin-canham-16237722b/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

On Saturday August 12th 10-5pm I am running an online workshop for ex-boarders (male and female) and therapists around the subject of boarding school and the path of recovery.

The morning session will be talking about some of the leading research into trauma, neglect and boarding school. 

The afternoon session will be exploring some of the leading edge techniques that I use with my clients. 

Some of the areas we will be exploring are:

- What is trauma?

- What are the 3 types of trauma?

- What is hidden trauma?

- Boarding school and trauma and the evidence

- What is boarding school syndrome and how does that impact us as adults?

- Teachings about betrayal trauma. Why could boarding school be a betrayal and how that impacts loss of memory.

- Neglect. Why boarding school could be considered neglect and the impact that has on us.

- Attachment theory. The four different types of attachment. 

- Why many ex-boarders become insecurely attached and what this means.

- The 3 types of Nick Duffell's Strategic Survival Personality, Complier, Rebel and Crushed.

- Strategies for how to become securely attached again

- Teachings and practices for beginning to heal complex trauma and boarding school syndrome.

"As an ex-boarder who was sent away aged eight, I have struggled for many years with feelings of abandonment, alienation, anger, detachment, lack of self-worth, and a nagging sense of victimhood that coloured everything. Piers has given me a marvellous toolkit of methods and mental models that have transformed my life and allowed me to be present in the moment.

"I am extraordinarily grateful for the time we have spent working on my journey together and would encourage anyone struggling with similar issues to contact him." John, UK

Cost: £80

Early bird price ends Saturday 29th July: £65

For more information: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-syndrome-workshop

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I am delighted to be speaking to Alan Clements. Alan, who is an author and an ex-Buddhist monk talks today about his journeys as a monastic in war-torn Burma now Myanmar.

He shares some of the wisdom he learned living in the jungles of Sri Lanka and Burma and his work as a journalist interviewing many of the political prisoner of Burma.

He also shares some of the insights into war, extreme conflict and trauma. A very enlightening conversation.

---

Alan Clements is a satirist, performing artist, former Buddhist monk, and investigative journalist in areas of war and extreme conflict. He is also the author of numerous books, a spoken word album, and the subject of a feature documentary film ’Spiritually Incorrect'. His latest book is 'Extinction Rated: An auto fictional satire about good and evil'.

Some areas to talk about:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please speak to the experiences of trauma that you have been through in your life? What have you seen, experienced and learned?
3. Could you talk about some of the spiritual insights you had as a monk and in your life?
4. Could you please speak to the mindset of totalitarianism? What is radical cohersion?
5. Could you please speak about meeting and interviewing Aung San Suu Kyi?
6. Genocide – what did you learn about what you saw in Burma and Srebrenica?
7. Could you please talk about the Buddha's Four Noble Truth. Why is this such an important teaching?
8. How do people learn more about your work or reach out?

To learn more about Alan's work please visit: http://www.worlddharma.com/

Or to buy his books on Amazon please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Alan-Clements/e/B001JRVBBK?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_2&qid=1687192808&sr=8-2

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I wanted to share some reflections about childhood trauma and dissociation.

In this video I share some of my thoughts about how as a result of childhood trauma we dissociate.

I quote from the work of Bessel Van der Kolk and his book the Body Keeps The Score and from the other classic book on trauma, Trauma and Recovery by Dr Judith Herman.

I talk about some of my own experiences of why and how I dissociated and what I did to start feeling again.

I talk about some of the following ideas for recovery:

• Slowing down
• Be creative
• Connect with the right side of the brain – move from analytical to feeling/ intuitive
• Do less not more
• Physical activities like massage, yoga and tai chi.

Any questions please do let me know.

For this Friday's podcast with Alan Clements to talk about trauma and his journey of healing as a Buddhist monk in the jungles of Burma/ Myanmar please visit here: https://youtu.be/rXWsPdSqnGk

And for last Friday's episode with Jane Evans talking about Childhood Trauma and Polyvagal Theory please visit here: https://youtu.be/VXkxKHUlOCg

#dissociation #trauma #childhoodtrauma #dissociationrecovery

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

What does neuroscience say about trauma? And what does childhood trauma look like through the lens of polyvagal theory and subconscious beliefs?

Today I am speaking with leading coach and trauma expert, Jane Evans to talk about these subjects. She shares some of her journey working with children and in fostering and the impact of childhood trauma. She also shares how we can start to heal from this trauma.

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 Jane Evans is the co-creator of Healing Together, a multi-award-winning social enterprise supporting young people & families to access early trauma-informed help.

Jane is known internationally for her work with parents and children and is an expert in childhood trauma. She’s also the author of a number of books which help adults explore and discuss difficult issues with children including one on domestic abuse called 'How Are You Feeling Today Baby Bear?'

Questions to ask:

1. I would love for you to share how you got into the work that you now do?
2. Could you please talk about childhood trauma. What is it and how does it impact firstly a child and then the adult they become?
3. Could you please speak about the brain and how childhood trauma and abuse affects the brain? What does neuroscience says about trauma?
4. How might these patterns show up in adulthood?
5. I would love for you to share some of your experiences of fostering. How does trauma impact children in care?
6. Could you please talk about anxiety and childhood trauma? Why is that many people who had childhood trauma struggle with anxiety?
7. What are some of the techniques for dealing with childhood trauma?
8. What about for anxiety? What are some of the techniques that you have found most powerful?
9. How has Covid and lockdown affected children?
10. A lot of the work I do is around boarding school and the trauma it creates. Many of our leaders went to boarding school. How might that impact their decision making in your opinion?
11. How do people find out more about your work?

#fostering #polyvagaltheory #trauma #childhoodtrauma #anxiety

To reach out to Jane please visit her website: https://thejaneevans.com/

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Parentingbeyondanxiety

On Twitter: https://twitter.com/janeparenting2

To buy her books please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Meerkats-Big-Panic-Learning/dp/1785927035/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=jane+evans&qid=1688653676&sr=8-1

And to watch her Ted X Talk: https://youtu.be/qKlzd-H2X9w

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 "I can't do this any more", "This is too much", "Life is too hard" and "I want out". 

What can we do when we start to feel this way? 

What can you do when life just seems too intense? 

I talk about 5 ways of dealing with these feelings. 

1. Come back to the basics - the fundamentals of eating, moving and sleeping
2. Work with the traffic light system of Brian Cain. Am I good and feeling good or is it red and time to shift how I feel? 
3. Put your phone down. We are often overwhelmed by the amount of data we are bombarded with. Turn your phone off at 6pm and turn back on at 9am 
4. Iceberg Technique. See your younger wounded self. Where have you felt this same feeling before. 
5. Inner critic. Listen to the words you are telling yourself. Is it kind and benevolent words like, "You can do this!" "You've got this!" or "You're a piece of crap!" I share a technique I use for changing the voice around. 

Next podcast is going live on Friday about Childhood Trauma and Polyvagal Theory with Jane Evans: https://youtu.be/VXkxKHUlOCg 

And last week's podcast with Wendy Capewell is now live about Childhood Trauma, Relationships and Communication: https://youtu.be/r9qqCYStUvw 

Any questions please do let me know, 

Warm regards, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

How does childhood trauma impact our relationships? How might these symptoms of childhood trauma show up in our lives?

On today's podcast I am speaking with a leading counsellor and psychotherapist about just this topic. Wendy Capewell shares some of her own experiences and stories to help illuminate how impactful trauma is in our lives and how it effects your relationships.

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Wendy Capewell is a fully qualified BACP Accredited Counsellor and Psychotherapist, with over 18 years of professional experience. She specialises in helping people with childhood trauma, anxiety, stress and relationships and was a volunteer Counsellor at a Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre for 5 years. She is the author of the book Surviving to Thriving in Relationships.

Questions to ask:

1. I would love for you to share how you got into the work that you now do?
2. Could you please talk about childhood trauma. What is it and how does it impact firstly a child and then the adult they become?
3. How does trauma show up in relationships?
4. If we are struggling in relationships what are some of the things that you teach your clients to improve their relationships?
5. How do we improve communication in a relationship? What are some of the keys to good communication?
6. What can we do if we struggle to connect to our emotions in relationships? How do we learn to reconnect to our emotional household?
7. Could you please speak to anxiety. What is the underlying cause of anxiety? What are some of the key ways you teach others to help them to manage their anxiety?
8. Could you please talk to strategies to protect ourselves from being vulnerable?
9. How do people find out more about your work?

#relationships #trauma #childhoodtrauma

To reach out to Wendy please visit her website: https://www.wendycapewell.co.uk/

To buy her book please visit: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Surviving-Thriving-Romantic-Relationship-Reignite-ebook/dp/B01MRZDEJB/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2Z6O93C7XGH4M&keywords=wendy+capewell&qid=1686745415&sprefix=wendy+capewell%2Caps%2C636&sr=8-2

And to listen to her podcast please go to: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Love-Listen-Talk-Repeat-Podcast-with-Wendy-Capewell/dp/B08JK2D3NL/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Wendy+Capewell&qid=1686745457&sr=8-1

For the Feeling Wheel: https://allthefeelz.app/feeling-wheel/  

And the Ted X Talk with Jane Evans: https://youtu.be/qKlzd-H2X9w

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

If you have been through trauma the chances are that you have a very powerful and often negative inner critic.

This is one of the ways that we cope with trauma.

Our inner critic comes online to protect us.

And on one level it did protect us.

The question is does it protect us still or does it keep us in our trauma?

This same voice can be so hateful, cricitcal and blaming of ourselves.

Especially when we are triggered, tired, unwell or someone is criticising us.

So today I wanted to share some of the teachings of Pete Walker in his book Complex PTSD or CPTSD and how he recommends that we challenge the inner critic.

These are techniques that I have used for many decades to great effect.

Any questions please do let me know,

Warm regards,

Piers

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I offer some reflections about slowing down and taking a break. 

If you have been through some form of trauma then the chances are you are pretty hard on yourself. 

You work hard and you are often giving yourelf a hard time. 

Today I suggest that what is really useful is to slow down and to stop. 

To take a break and sit in your garden. 

Time to be still, meditate and take care of yourself. 

Bless you, you are amazing, 

Warm regards, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 Today I wanted to offer some reflections about my time as a Novice Buddhist monk.

 Why on earth did I go from working in the finance sector of London to becoming a Buddhist monk? 

What was it like? What are the daily routine like for a Buddhist monk? 

Why did monastic life seem so simliar to boarding school but in a good way? 

What were some of the good things about being a Buddhist monk? 

And what about some of the negatives? 

What were my struggles and my aha moments?

 In this video I talk about what it was like to live as a monastic for 3 years. I talk about my mental health problems and how I tried to commit suicide while I was there. 

I also talk about how healing it was and how it transformed my life. 

Any questions please do let me know. Warm regards, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

 London Premiere Boarding On Insanity 1st March 1.30pm | What Is Happening? | Piers Cross 

To buy tickets here: https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/boarding-on-insanity-qa/ 

Website will go live on Thursday 06.02.25: http://www.boardingoninsanity.com/ 

To join the launch waiting list: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film 

 #boardingoninsanity #boardingschoolsyndrome #boardingschool #premiere 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Trauma and relationships. How does trauma impact your relationship? And what can you do?

Today I am speaking with one of the world's leading teachers in the world of relationships, sexuality and trauma. 

Shashi Solluna is the author of Tantra Made Easy and teaches around the world at festivals and on retreats. 

What a fascinating discussion with a woman who studied psychology at Oxford University and went to boarding school at sixth form. How does trauma affect our relationships and what can we do to heal?

---

Shashi Solluna is the author of "Tantra Made Easy" published by Hay House. She has been teaching for nearly two decades and runs teacher trainings as well as being part of a team creating international tantra festivals. She is currently making a feature documentary Sex to Spirit following one man on his life-changing journey into Tantra. 

She originally trained in psychology at Oxford University and offers training courses globally about trauma, tantra and relationships.

Some areas to talk about:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk a little about Tantra. What is it?
3. Why is the topic of trauma in relationships so important?
4. What do you define trauma as?
5. How can a couple work through trauma?
6. How might trauma reveal itself in intimacy?
7. Could our intimate relationships be one of the best places to heal our trauma?
8. Can you please explain why it is that we get triggered by the people we're closest to?
9. How do you know if you've had a trauma if you don't remember it?
10. How can you tell the difference between the freeze response and surrender?
11. I've noticed that a lot of people with trauma/ complex trauma struggle to stay present. How does someone who has been trained to not be present, become present again, especially in sex?
12. Could you speak a little about dissociation as well please? What can we do if we are often dissociated? How to move back into the body?
13. How do people learn more about your work or reach out?

To learn more about Shashi's work please visit: https://www.shashi-solluna.com

Or to learn more about her couples work with her partner Shahid Van Helden (who I interviewed here: ) please visit: https://www.thetantriccouple.com/ or https://www.livetantra.com/

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I wanted to share some reflections about Boris Johnson. 

With the resignation of Boris Johnson last week I wanted to share some thoughts from a psychological perspective.

Why is Boris the way he is?

Could any of his behaviours be due to childhood trauma and specifically Boarding School Syndrome? 

Here I quote from the likes of Prof Joy Schaverien, Dr Judith Herman, Nick Duffell, Peter Levine PhD, Jennifer Freyd PhD and Richard Grannon. 

What is Narcisstic Personality Disorder (NPD)? And is Boris a narcissist? 

And what can we do to find leaders who are there to support us? 

Any questions please do let me know, Best regards, Piers 

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today's episode we ask the question, "Is it time to abolish boarding schools? 

Psychotherapist, Richard Hughes talks about his own experience of boarding school and working with clients.

Why have boarding schools not changed?

Why do boarding schools not offer “the love and care a child needs?”

What can we do to start changing the system?

---

Richard Hughes is a qualified and accredited psychotherapist with the UK Council for Psychotherapy. He specialises in helping people in many areas. Some of these include: relationships, anxiety, depression, stress, and boarding school issues.

Some areas to talk about:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please talk a little about attachment. What is good enough attachment?
3. You wrote an amazing article called Time to Abolish Boarding Schools on your blog. I would love you to talk more about that. What drew you to writing it?
4. What is the importance of the first day and night at boarding school, especially from an attachment lens? How was your first day/ night?
5. What were some of the survival methods that you employed at school? How did you start to undo these patterns and begin the healing journey?
6. How does boarding school impact our relationships with women? Could you describe a bit of how the school responded to the girls in the school?
7. “Boarding schools do not offer the love and care a child needs” Could you talk more about that please?
8. Boarding schools claim to be a safe and secure environment. What do you feel?
9. How does boarding school effect people later in adult life? What are some of the symptoms that you have seen?
10. So many of our leaders have been to boarding school. How might this effect how they run their businesses or government? What can we do to change this?
11. Could you please talk about food and nourishment? What was the food like for you at Prep school and how did that impact you?
12. How do people find out more about you?

To find out more about Richard please visit: https://www.richardhughestherapy.com/

To read Richard's blog please visit: https://www.richardhughestherapy.com/post/time-to-end-boarding-schools

---

Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/