It’s January 10th. By now, odds are you’ve already fallen down on some of your resolutions. To that end, I want to talk about two of my goals that I can almost guarantee were more delayed than yours are, and the takeaways I have from them.
When my boys were born, I set a goal to earn my black belt and write a book by the time they turned five. They’re sixteen now, almost seventeen, and I finally reached both of those milestones - a mere eleven years later than I planned.
Let’s unpack that.
In hindsight, the black belt goal was ambitious, but realistic. The book goal was naive at best.
Please indulge me for a minute while we play “Storytime with Mr. B”.
I had been training in Kempo for a little less than a year when my boys were born. I don’t remember what belt I was, probably orange or green, but I went to the dojo a lot. As long as grading permitted, I was still a teacher at the time, I spent about 10 hours a week there across four days.
By the time they turned four, I had earned my brown belt. And there I would stay for the next 12 years.
So what happened? Around the time the boys turned four, my career as a teacher ended and I had to rebuild myself. I ended up exploring ADHD coaching and pursuing a second Masters in Counseling. At the same time, my mom fell very ill and eventually passed away. Oh, and my car burned down.
It was a lot to absorb, and eventually led to me leaving the dojo because I didn’t have time for it. No regrets, though, because that road eventually led me to where I am now. And I am both better at my ADHD work than I was at teaching, and find it more fulfilling.
In June of 2018, the dojo lost one of its members, and I attended the funeral. Which led me to reconnect with Master Phil, my instructor, and return my training. By the time I had knocked the rust off, and ranked up to just below black belt, COVID hit and the world shut down. Taking class over Zoom and in parking lots without the ability to actually interact with each other doesn’t make for the best training.
Things were mostly back to normal by 2022, and told me I should prepare to test for Black belt at the end of the year. I did. But in March of that year, my son’s OCD spiked and by July he would be in McLean Hospital’s OCDi Jr program, coming home that October. Thankfully, it worked and he got better.
