ABC’s of Parenting Adult Children is a thoughtful, compassionate podcast hosted by James Moffitt for parents navigating the challenges of relationships with adult sons and daughters. Through honest conversations and real-life stories, the show explores communication, boundaries, identity, LGBTQ+ acceptance, grief, faith, reconciliation, and emotional healing. Whether your relationship is strong, strained, or broken, this podcast offers insight, hope, and practical wisdom for parenting adult children with empathy and understanding.
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Letting Go Without Losing Love: Communication, Boundaries, and Adult Children
James Moffitt talks with Rebecca Mullen, a relationship coach, writer, and author of Six Steps to Better Marriage Communication, about how parents can stay close to adult children without slipping into control, guilt, or mixed signals. The conversation centers on healthier communication, especially how to respect grown children as independent adults while still keeping the relationship warm and connected.Rebecca shares practical ways to navigate family dynamics, apologize well, and use praise, agency, and boundaries to build trust instead of conflict.
Key topics
Rebecca Mullen introduces her work as a relationship coach, podcaster, and author focused on clear communication in families and marriage
The discussion frames adult parenting as a shift from control to mentorship, support, and respect for a grown child’s agency
Rebecca explains how family intimacy is built through both repeated routines and exceptional shared experiences like vacations and camping trips
A camping-trip story shows how mixed signals can create conflict when a parent says they want less responsibility but still wants control
The episode explores how naming grief can help parents understand why letting go feels painful and why they may send inconsistent messages
Rebecca describes how praise changes family dynamics by highlighting what is working instead of focusing on what is wrong
The hosts discuss how children learn relationship patterns by watching how parents handle conflict, apology, and appreciation
Rebecca lays out a four-step apology process that rebuilds trust by saying sorry, naming the behavior, naming the other person’s feelings, and stating a plan to do better
The conversation distinguishes clean asks from attacks and explains why giving the other person agency increases intimacy
Boundaries are defined as what you will and will not tolerate, not as a way to control another person’s behavior
Timestamps
00:00 - Opening and introduction to the episode’s focus on adult children and communication 01:52 - Rebecca shares her background as a coach, author, and podcast host 03:21 - Rebecca’s family story, marriage, medical school years, and long-term resilience 06:49 - Why vacations and shared experiences help create family intimacy 09:37 - Respecting adult children as separate people with their own lives 13:15 - Camping trip story: mixed signals and a parent’s struggle with letting go 15:21 - Naming grief and understanding the emotional side of changing family roles 17:56 - The hidden labor problem in marriage and what gets overlooked 24:48 - Assuming positive intent instead of defaulting to blame 26:30 - Why praise works better than nagging or criticism 30:21 - Why children need a safe place to make mistakes and repair them 31:20 - The four-step apology that rebuilds trust 36:39 - Common communication blunders and why boundaries need clear requests first 39:17 - The clean ask formula: overcome fear, get clear, ask cleanly 42:33 - Why agency matters and how vulnerability strengthens connection 43:57 - What boundaries really are, and why they are not punishments 48:56 - Using affirmation to support boundaries without damaging intimacy 51:31 - Rebecca’s closing encouragement and resources for listeners
Notable quotes
“We all want to feel seen.”
“An attack is not a clean ask.”
“Agency in a relationship is the thing we're most scared to give away, but it is the thing that most fully cultivates intimacy.”
Action items
Ask yourself what you are really afraid of before reacting to your adult child
Replace mixed signals with a clear, clean request
Use praise intentionally and look for what is going well
Apologize with specificity, not vagueness
Define boundaries as your own limits
Richard Jones. I am an RN with over 34 years of Nursing Experience, much of that experience working with young adults in the corrections system.
Healing, Boundaries, and Grace in Parenting Adult Children
In this episode of ABCs of Parenting Adult Children, host James Moffitt speaks with Dr. Beth Long, a licensed professional counselor, board certified behavior analyst, and therapist who works with children, families, and parents navigating adult children. They discuss how childhood patterns show up in parenting, how to recognize triggers, and how grace and emotional regulation can reshape strained relationships.We discuss why parenting adult children exposes fear, shame, and approval-seeking, how boundaries differ from control, and what repair looks like when trust has been damaged. Dr. Beth Long also shares personal stories from her own family, including her son on the autism spectrum, her daughter’s wedding invitations, and the challenges of letting go while staying connected.
Key topics
Dr. Beth Long introduces her background in counseling psychology, her work with children and families, and her experience parenting two adult children.
She
Richard Jones. I am an RN with over 34 years of Nursing Experience, much of that experience working with young adults in the corrections system.
The Father, the Son, and the Aha Moment with Steve Barton
This episode focuses on the shift from parenting children to relating with adult children as equals, with Steve Barton sharing hard-won lessons from his own family and coaching work. James Moffitt and Steve discuss communication, boundaries, and how to stay connected without overstepping.Steve Barton, owner of Steve Barton Coaching and co-author of The Father, the Son, and the Aha Moment with his son Spencer, explains how the book grew out of real conversations about politics, growth, and accountability. The conversation centers on practical ways parents can support adult children while respecting their independence.
Key topics
In this episode: Steve Barton introduces his background as a coach in Portland, Maine, and frames parenting as a leadership relationship.
Steve shares that the book began after repeated political debates with his son Spencer, which led him to ask, “What are you doing about it then?”
He explains that the writing process revealed how similar he and Spencer are, especially around ADHD, procrastination, and direct communication.
James and Steve discuss the common mistake parents make of treating adult children like children instead of respecting their adulthood.
Steve says the best approach is to ask adult children whether they want advice or simply a listening ear.
He describes the difference between a mentor and a helicopter parent, emphasizing that unsolicited advice often creates distance.
Steve reflects on a major life change after 19 years of marriage, saying it forced him into a more hands-on, weekly shared parenting arrangement with Spencer.
He outlines what healthy parent-adult child relationships look like to him: mutual respect and clear boundaries.
Steve explains the “everyone is 10” idea from the book, meaning everyone is doing the best they can with the awareness they have.
He connects the book’s message to self-awareness, emotional regulation, and moving from grievance and comparison toward authentic selfhood.
Healing the Past, Parenting with Grace with Dr Caturia
This conversation follows host James Moffitt and Dr. Carla Kataria as they explore how childhood experiences shape our emotional patterns, parenting style, and the way we support young adults. The episode focuses on healing, emotional regulation, autonomy, and the grace parents need as their children move into adulthood.In this episode:
Dr. Carla Kataria introduces her work as an elite mindset coach, helping kids, teens, and families build mental performance, emotional regulation, and stronger relationships.
She shares that her biggest childhood challenge was not a lack of love, but not knowing how to handle big emotions, which showed up later in adulthood through anxiety and overwhelm.
James reflects on his own childhood and how becoming a parent made him determined to do better than what he experienced growing up.
The discussion highlights how some parents overcompensate by giving too much or preventing failure because they want to correct what they lacked.
Dr. Kataria talks about healing through personal development, somatic tools, coaching strategies, and a deeper faith journey that brought her peace.
They discuss the shift parents must make as children become young adults, moving from direct control into a mentoring and support role.
Dr. Kataria emphasizes that autonomy builds confidence, and young adults need room to make choices, mistakes, and sometimes different life decisions than their parents expected.
Dealing with Parenting Frustration: You Don't Have to Be Perfect with Dr Kutz
Parenting advice to help you stop feeling guilty. Learn how to be kinder to yourself while navigating the challenges of raising kids.
Being a parent is undeniably difficult, and it is common to worry about making mistakes with your children. This video offers perspective on the pressure many parents place on themselves, providing a reminder that learning as you go is a natural part of the journey. If you often feel guilty about your parenting style, this discussion is designed to help you release that weight.
We explore the importance of self-compassion when raising children and why you do not need to be perfect to be a great parent. By acknowledging that you are doing your best, you can create a healthier environment for your family. This guidance focuses on practical ways to manage parenting stress and maintain your confidence, even when things feel overwhelming.
Subscribe for weekly parenting advice breakdowns, and share in the comments: what is one way you practice self-care during a busy week?
Richard Jones. I am an RN with over 34 years of Nursing Experience, much of that experience working with young adults in the corrections system.
Parenting Adult Children, Unconditional Love, and Supporting LGBTQ Families
This episode brings together James Moffitt and Ron Platt of the National Association for Single and Divorced Families to talk about parenting adult children, family boundaries, and how support systems can change lives. Ron also shares the story behind NASDF and its divorce support insurance product, plus how fostering and adoption reshaped his understanding of unconditional love.We discuss practical parenting challenges, the emotional realities of adult children making their own choices, and why love still has to include boundaries, accountability, and apology. The conversation also touches on LGBTQ acceptance, foster care, family court reform, and the role of community in helping children and parents navigate hard transitions.
Key topics
James introduces Ron Platt, co-founder of the National Association for Single and Divorced Families, and Ron explains that NASDF serves people who are divorcing, divorced, or in single-family households.
Ron shares the origin of the organization and the Support Insured product, which is designed to cover child support and alimony for up to a year if the payer dies, becomes disabled, is involuntarily unemployed, or has to declare business bankruptcy.
Ron tells the long backstory of how the idea came from a conversation with his father decades earlier, how investors initially passed, and how he eventually funded the launch through a mortgage and credit card debt.
The conversation shifts to the challenges of launching a niche product with no direct competition and the need to educate both the family law community and the public.
Ron explains his current push to build a credit card product specifically for legal fees, mediation, and court costs for people with limited credit and limited access to cash during divorce.
James opens up about his own divorce, visitation struggles, and the impact of family conflict on parenting and access to his son.
Ron shares the story of adopting his son, Michael, from foster care, including the realities of a child coming from abuse, instability, and the foster system with belongings in a plastic bag.
The Secret to Confident Kids / Mic Takeover by Special Guest, Jody Hill
In this episode, Jody Hill, mom of four, speaker, and best-selling author of The Parent's Secret Superpower: Raising Confident and Capable Kids, shares one of her Superpower Strategies from the POWer Parent Method, the framework at the heart of her course, that helps parents raise confident, capable kids. Drawing on her own experience, Jody walks through how she's lived out this strategy with her own kids, past and present, and shows you how you can start doing the same in your own home. Enjoy the episode as you pick up new ways to help raise confident, capable kids of your own. Learn more about Jody's course, The Confident Kid Audio Course: Unlocking Your Parenting Superpower, here: Jodi Hill Course offering
Parenting Adult Children with Grace, Humility, and Connection
Pastor and author Scott LaPierre joins James Moffitt to talk about the shift parents must make when their children become adults. The conversation focuses on moving from control to guidance, keeping your child’s heart, and staying connected without slipping into criticism or frustration. Scott also shares how marriage, fatherhood, and biblical teaching have shaped the way he thinks about parenting older children.
Key topics
In this episode, Scott LaPierre introduces himself as a teaching pastor at Woodland Christian Church, a husband, and a father of 11 children.
Scott explains how he and his wife, Katie, approached marriage with a desire to honor God in family size, homeschooling, and pastoral ministry.
He shares that his passion for teaching began long before pastoring, through military service, elementary teaching, and then preaching the Bible.
Scott connects strong marriages to strong families, strong churches, and ultimately a stronger society.
He describes how parenting adult children requires a real shift from direct control to relational influence and wise guidance.
Scott emphasizes that parents need to keep their children’s hearts, not just enforce rules.
He explains the importance of humility in family leadership, including saying “I don’t know” and learning alongside your children.
Scott and James discuss the pressure many men feel when asked to lead family Bible reading or prayer, and why wives should encourage rather than compare them to pastors.
Scott talks about the reality that some adult children rebel despite good parenting, and he points to free will and the prodigal son as a biblical picture of that tension.
The conversation closes with practical advice for repairing strained relationships through confession, asking forgiveness, and learning to listen well.
Timestamps
00:00 - Introducing Scott LaPierre and the focus on parenting adult children00:48 - Scott’s background as a pastor, author, husband, and father of 1101:52 - Meeting Katie, marriage, and surrendering family size to God04:35 - From teaching and military service to pastoral ministry05:31 - Why strong marriages strengthen families, churches, and society07:20 - How fatherhood shapes prayer for children’s future spouses08:53 - Why many husbands are spiritually passive and what that means10:21 - Modeling spiritual leadership at home more than just talking about it11:18 - Why many husbands feel nervous leading Bible reading and prayer12:15 - Projection, insecurity, and the fear of leading family devotion13:41 - Encouraging husbands instead of expecting pastor-level performance15:37 - Wives, husbands, and the importance of realistic expectations17:15 - Using study Bibles, commentaries, and humility when answering questions18:45 - The biggest shift when children become adults: releasing control24:48 - Balance, encouragement, and the warning that rules without relationship can lead to rebellion26:54 - What it means to have your child’s heart27:50 - Different children may connect better with different parents30:15 - Helicopter parenting and the challenge of moving into a mentor role34:36 - Why even good parents can still have rebellious adult children36:49 - Responding to regret, confession, and asking adult children for forgiveness41:37 - One practical step this week: take responsibility and listen well42:59 - Scott’s books, speaking, and free ministry resource
Healing Parenting Cycles: How to Break Free from Overwhelm & Build Connection with Your Children
Discover practical insights and compassionate strategies to navigate the generational patterns, emotional reactions, and relationship dynamics that shape your parenting journey. In this episode, trauma-informed coach Lattie Ghanem shares how moms can identify triggers, release guilt, and foster a healthy, connected family environment—no matter where you are in your parenting path.
Main topics:
The neurobiological basis of parental reactions and how to rewire them
Breaking cycles of guilt, overcompensation, and burnout
The role of dads in building emotional safety and modeling healthy behavior
Navigating family dynamics such as children’s identity explorations and cultural differences
Practical tools for self-awareness, boundary-setting, and intentional parenting
In this episode:
0:01 - Introduction to trauma-informed conscious parenting and Lattie’s approach
0:35 - Understanding the patterns behind the chaos in parenting
1:23 - How childhood roles influence parenting reactions
2:40 - The impact of family upbringing on current parent-child dynamics
Navigating the Next Chapter: Parenting Adult Children with Wisdom and Love with Emily Jacobson
In this episode, James Moffitt welcomes Emily Jacobson, a somatic coach, to discuss navigating the evolving relationship with adult children. They explore communication, boundaries, emotional regulation, and the importance of understanding developmental stages to foster stronger connections.
The transition from parent to mentor/support role as children become adults and brain development timelines
Mindset shifts for parents: recognizing their prior hard work and trust in their child's independence
The emotional grief that can accompany letting go of the parent-child dynamic
The role of emotional intelligence and nervous system regulation in managing reactions and conflict
Practical tools for emotional regulation: deep exhalations, breathing patterns, and nervous system exercises
Strategies for handling disagreements with adult children, including setting expectations and consequences
The importance of co-regulation and maintaining boundaries to prevent downward spirals of escalation
Navigating self-expression choices in teens and young adults, and understanding their need for individuation
Challenges around appearance choices, tattoos, and societal perceptions
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Timestamps
00:00 - Welcome to the podcast and topic overview 00:49 - Steve Barton introduces his coaching background 01:18 - How a political disagreement with his son inspired the book 03:32 - What writing together revealed about father and son 05:17 - The biggest communication mistake parents make with adult children 06:50 - Mentors versus helicopter parents 07:49 - The origin of the book’s “aha moment” 10:39 - How a major family change altered Steve’s parenting perspective 12:30 - Supporting adult children who feel distant 13:20 - Respect, boundaries, and what healthy connection looks like 14:36 - The message behind the book and the “everyone is 10” framework 16:26 - Steve’s short pitch for his coaching and the book 18:32 - How to get the book and connect with Steve 19:08 - Closing thoughts and listener send-off
Key frameworks
Everyone is 10 - everyone is doing the best they can with the awareness they have
Ask before advising - listen first, then offer guidance only if requested
Healthy boundaries - love can include yes, no, stay, and go depending on the situation
Feel free to subscribe to these channels and share the links with your social media portals.
The conversation distinguishes between healthy independence and choices that are out of alignment, such as unhealthy relationships, chronic conflict, or careers pursued for the wrong reasons.
James and Dr. Kataria revisit the importance of letting children catch their own vision rather than forcing a parent’s dream onto them.
Dr. Kataria closes with three pillars for parents: regulate yourself first, see your child through the lens of who they can become, and allow ownership so confidence can grow.
Timestamps
00:00 - Intro: how childhood shapes the way we parent and support adult children 01:28 - Dr. Carla Kataria introduces herself and her work with families 03:21 - Emotional regulation as a childhood wound that carried into adulthood 05:13 - Seeing parenting patterns more clearly as an adult and educator 07:04 - Overcompensating for a difficult childhood by giving too much 08:20 - Finding peace through personal development, faith, and inner healing 09:50 - What it means to let go as children become adults 11:24 - Dr. Kataria describes the strengths and gaps in her own childhood 13:14 - The specific qualities she appreciated most in her mother 14:46 - How parents can respond when adult children make choices they do not agree with 17:49 - Defining unhealthy decisions as choices out of alignment with the true self 19:16 - Unrealistic parent expectations and the pressure to follow a parent’s career path 20:24 - How to tell the difference between giving up and making an authentic change 22:20 - Preparing emotionally for the transition from parent-child to mentor-support role 24:32 - Reparenting later in life and making small shifts that matter 28:20 - A personal story about a teen choosing a bold hairstyle and staying calm 30:20 - Apologizing later in life and realizing some guilt weighs more on us than others 31:43 - Dr. Kataria explains her House of Rise framework 35:20 - A story about a young man who left medical school, then returned by choice 37:44 - Why young adults need to catch their own vision 39:04 - A college student shifts direction after reflection and support 40:49 - Three takeaways for parents of adult children 43:55 - How to get in touch with Dr. Kataria and where to find her work 44:45 - Closing reflection on healing, grace, and breaking generational patterns
Key Frameworks
House of Rise - Dr. Kataria’s framework built around resilience, identity, self-confidence, and emotional intelligence.
Two millimeter shifts - Small, repeated changes in how parents respond can create long-term transformation.
Identity before behavior - Seeing a child through the lens of who they are becoming, not just what they are doing now.
Ownership builds confidence - Autonomy helps young adults develop trust in themselves through real responsibility.
Notable Quotes
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“The biggest thing that has made a shift for me through all of that is also my actual journey with my faith.”
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“The key is really having values and standards as a family.”
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“Ownership really builds that confidence.”
Action Items
Regulate yourself before difficult conversations with your adult child.
Move from micromanaging to mentoring.
Ask whether a decision is truly unhealthy or simply not the path you would have chosen.
Let your child own age-appropriate mistakes so confidence can grow.
Make small shifts in how you respond instead of trying to overhaul everything at once.
Richard Jones. I am an RN with over 34 years of Nursing Experience, much of that experience working with young adults in the corrections system.
Feel free to subscribe to these channels and share the links with your social media portals.
Ron describes setting boundaries with his foster son, including school expectations, work, drugs, and a major moment when he threw him out for breaking house rules, then welcomed him back after a painful but necessary lesson.
The discussion turns to LGBTQ identity, acceptance, religion, and family responses, including James discussing his son Jeremy and Ron sharing his own coming out story and his grandmother’s response.
Ron and James talk about the difference between loving a child and agreeing with every choice they make, and why parents still need to show up for adult children even when they don’t understand them.
The episode closes with Ron reflecting on a key lesson from therapy: apologizing to children when parents get it wrong, and why that kind of honesty builds respect.
Timestamps
(00:00) Welcome to the show and introduction of guest Ron Platt (00:28) What NASDF is and who it serves (00:56) Support Insured and how divorce support coverage works (01:13) James shares his own divorce and visitation experience (03:17) How Ron came from insurance product development into this mission (04:37) Why the market ignored the need for divorce support insurance (05:50) Mortgaging the house to launch the business (06:47) The first underwriter says yes to Support Insured (07:17) Why a brand-new category has to be built from scratch (08:16) The original idea began 30 years earlier (09:12) The Miami real estate story and the $5 million funding pitch (10:36) A new credit card idea for legal fees, mediation, and court costs (12:31) Ron’s toxic relationship and why fostering became personal (13:24) Seeing the foster system through a child’s history binder (15:20) Meeting Michael and giving him stability for the first time (16:41) The hard history behind his foster placement (17:09) Why Ron refused to let the child keep breaking the rules (20:32) The arrest that became a turning point in their relationship (22:01) James reflects on support for LGBTQ children and family acceptance (23:17) James shares his son Jeremy’s coming out and their strained relationship (29:11) James recounts Jeremy’s final illness and his death (31:20) Ron shares coming out to his grandmother and her response (32:45) Ron explains how his family and in-laws evolved over time (34:08) Why adults need to stop expecting children to fit a box (37:26) Helping LGBTQ youth find a safe, normal support network (39:32) James reflects on the stigma around being gay across generations (42:27) A church conversation about gay relationships and acceptance (44:26) Ron describes joining a more accepting Jewish community (46:21) Why discomfort keeps people from growing (47:13) Parenting does not stop when a child becomes an adult (49:30) Why parents should not enable adult children (51:31) Money lessons, budgeting, and the reality of financial independence (53:38) A cautionary car purchase and letting adults learn the hard way (54:44) Maintaining influence without control in adult children’s lives (56:17) James on accepting self-expression in teenagers (58:13) Why brain development matters when judging teen behavior (59:29) James reflects on his own strict upbringing (61:14) Why parents’ expectations can clash with who children actually are (64:25) Ron shares how his husband left policing and became a fashion designer (67:12) Another family story about a son thriving in the arts (68:48) A major parenting lesson from adopting Michael (70:05) Why parents should apologize when they get it wrong (71:55) Closing thoughts and ways to contact NASDF
Notable quotes
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“You don't ever stop being a parent.”
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“The good news is I have no competition. The bad news is I have no competition.”
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“Your kids will have a great deal more respect for you when they realize that you're not perfect.”
Action items
If you are navigating divorce, single parenting, or family court challenges, explore NASDF’s support and educational offerings.
If you work in credit, lending, or legal finance, Ron is actively looking for partners to help build a card for legal fees, mediation, and court costs.
Parents of adult children should focus on boundaries, not control, and be willing to apologize when needed.
Families supporting LGBTQ children should prioritize safety, belonging, and consistency over rigid expectations.
Richard Jones. I am an RN with over 34 years of Nursing Experience, much of that experience working with young adults in the corrections system.
Feel free to subscribe to these channels and share the links with your social media portals.
The significance of safety and trust in parent-child relationships for healthy merging into adult independence
How parental permissiveness and authoritarian tendencies can create dynamic tension
Handling family changes, such as divorce or blended families, with acknowledgment of grief and emotional validation
The value of open conversations, setting clear expectations, and the power of consistency in boundaries
The role of external environments, like community or church, in observing healthy relationship boundaries
Resources for nervous system health: Emily’s free tools, her website Emily Jacobson, and social media Instagram
The importance for parents and grandparents to foster safety, vulnerability, and trust to build resilient relationships
<|TIMESTAMPS|> 00:00 - Navigating relationships with adult children and why boundaries matter 02:20 - The brain development timeline and implications for parenting 05:00 - Mindset shift: trusting the work you've done as a parent 07:03 - Recognizing grief in letting go of parental roles 08:20 - Emotional regulation and nervous system insights for parents 11:11 - Compassion and understanding emotional responses 12:23 - Repairing ruptures and maintaining relationship health 12:51 - The significance of presence and observation in adolescent self-expression 15:27 - How the brain predicts outcomes based on past experience 17:51 - Differentiation and individuation in teens and young adults 19:17 - The impact of appearance choices on societal acceptance and career prospects 22:32 - Balancing freedom and safety in youth self-expression 25:52 - Teaching inhibition and self-control through nervous system tools 28:04 - Inhibitory exercises with kids for impulse control 31:18 - Breathing techniques to regulate emotions in parenting moments 36:02 - Handling disagreements and setting expectations productively 39:42 - Preventing downward spirals in conflicts through boundaries 41:50 - Overcoming parental fears about boundaries and authority 44:12 - Parenting styles: permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative 45:38 - Lessons learned from separation, divorce, and co-parenting 52:10 - Supporting children through family transitions and grief 54:06 - Advice for engaging with adult children in a balanced way 57:36 - Resources available: Emily’s free tools and coaching offerings 58:46 - Closing thoughts: fostering trust, safety, and open communication<|RESOURCES|>
